Member Spotlight: Gato/desu/rabid/my Name Is A Sentence.
Entry posted by Lazzy the Spazzy
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You've all heard of the term "___ wins the internetz". I'm usually against using such cliches because overusing these memes tends to downplay the awesomeness of real accomplishments. However, in this case I believe our resident Compulsive Name Changer, Rabid (or My name is a sentence. now) has indeed won the internetz. Congratulations.
Quoted post below (spoiler'd to save space):
Children of Perdition --- The Forbidden Realm --- The Rebuttal
"I'd actually like to take this one," a young voice said with an over the top yawn. All eyes turned towards the young Matoran, crowned with a shimmering diadem, standing in the door way. She scratched her belly absent mindedly, as if the Toa Nuva suspended above bubbling metal and amber were a common sight to her. "If you don't mind that is," she said lazily to Arinayz.
The Prophetess bowed meekly, recognizing the Champion of Asmodeus immediately and the authority the Matoran carried. Since she had assumed power during Ga's slumber, now that she returned, she had no choice in her mind but to hand over the case of Phauxx with full grace. "As the Champion wishes," she said with humility, a sudden change from the powerful personality she displayed a moment earlier.
"Thanks," Ga said with a smile. As she turned to Phauxx, the Toa Nuva suddenly felt a great force probing his mind. Searching for a weak point in his mental defenses. The Toa steeled his mind against the onslaught . The attack was a lazy one, as if Ga wasn't particularly trying too hard. However yet another yawn from the Matoran clued him onto the real reason. The Matoran was still half asleep. If Ga was truly trying to break him this way, she would have done it a long time ago. Instead, she opted to circle her wagons and apply a steady pressure on his mind, preventing him concentrating.
"Hello Phauxx. My name is Ga," the Matoran said with a smile, "I figured I could give you the honor of seeing the woman who has ordered this done to you. As you can tell, I'm the leader of this pleasant little operation of peace loving people. We just want to make this world a better place, one person at a time. We shall right the countless wrongs of the previous age. We shall shine the light of redemption, so that this place may become as paradise. What a wonderful world we shall create…"
"However, you have expressed concern over us declaring ourselves a peaceful organization yet we have such heavily armaments to bring to against you. While your proposition may seem logical in a sort of convoluted way, it ultimately falls flat on its face in the light of true definition of peaceful. Peaceful, at its most literal meaning, means that we are full of peace. It also means that we are inclined, or rather disposed towards peace. As I stated earlier, we shall make this place a paradise. We will end the pointless noise that pollutes this world. We will bring peace. If that means that we must also bring the pain, then so be it."
"Furthermore, you would either say 'you sure do enjoy other's pain' or 'you surely do enjoy other's pain.' Your statement of 'you sure do enjoy others pain' does not make grammatical sense. In addition, you forgot the apostrophe for 'other's.'"
"Now then as for your second statement concerning your current profession, I do believe you justified our actions against you. You have proven yet again that you are a self-serving, egotistical maniac who cares only for himself. You discard others and things when they bore you. Or perhaps should I say that they bore your proxy master? Honestly, you two are so hard to separate that I can't even tell where one begins and the other ends. In all honestly, there's probably no difference. You're a self-insert character. While others would at least try to disguise it, I guess that your proxy master is bold enough to be open about it. But then again I might be mistaking bravery for foolishness."
"But alas, I am digressing. Please, allow me to return to your original statement. The fact that you could grow bored with inflicting pain on others just proves how far you have fallen. You have gone past hate, rage, and spite. No, you've gone to a whole new level. Phauxx, you have grown apathetic to those around you. You don't care whether or not they're happy, sad, angry, or afraid. You don't care about others, only what they can do for you. You are the worst kind of person imaginable, one without emotion or feelings. The very fact that you could and have grown bored with the sufferings and terror of others has brought this upon you."
At this point Phauxx could feel his mental defenses giving way. The steady assault had chipped away his defenses away, and now he could feel Ga's mind starting to press against his. However rather than invade his inner sanctum, Ga started putting even more pressure against it. She kept their minds distinctly separated, keeping him from forming a solid counter attack.
"And now for your last statement. I personally doubt you'll be able to do anything to any kind of innocents while in suspended animation. However as they say, where there is a will there is a way. Perhaps you will use one of your dues ex machina characters to bring about. Shall you use the kraken and your Flying Dutchman knock off? You do realize that you're not fooling anyone. You've obviously been watching a bit too much Pirates of the Caribbean. I understand that it's hard to be original nowadays, but could you at least put some actual effort into disguising your knockoffs? But maybe you won't use him; after all you already used him to flee from both Uhuraz and myself. Mayhaps you'll use Dr. F like you did during our battle in the endless sky. You do realize I have pictures of you editing in The Speeding Bullet and then sending a telepathic message to a completely different area and suddenly having him show up to rescue you, right? Luckily for me though, Dr. F is little more than a frozen block of antidermis in a winter wonder land."
"Oh, wait," Ga said slapping her head, "How could I forget? You use dues ex machinas to save your dues ex machinas! I bet that right now you have some sort of creature rescuing Dr. F from his wintery tomb. You will then have them assault my base in an attempt to free you. You know you are so lucky that you can't get in trouble about this? My proxy master went to staff about your pulling deus ex machinas on a regular basis. Unfortunately it's not against the rules and while it may be absolutely horrible writing you can still do it."
"I mean, does this make any sense," she said, turning to speak not only to Phauxx but everyone present, "Here I stand, a guild master. I have worked hard for my position. I have risen higher than my peers and I have been rewarded for it. I was one of three guilds chosen for this year. However what have I been rewarded with? Here I stand with over two hundred and fifty NPCs. I have over twenty PCs that answer to me. I have a half dozen proxy masters who are a part of my organization. And here I have my foe, chained up and ready to be dipped in amber. He is completely at my mercy and suspended above liquid amber. Logically, I should be able to dip him and be done with it. Yet what do I have to do? I have to ask for his permission. And what does he say? "Not yet. You can only do it when I say so. This way I can use my magical powers to deus ex machina my way out of this . . . MY MAGICAL POWERS, WHICH, BY THE WAY, I JUST EDITED INTO HIS PROFILE AS I WRITE THIS POST." Who is he to tell my might to stop? Who is the prisoner to tell the jailer what to do? Who are the weak that they shall tell the strong, 'This far you may come and no farther; here is where you will halt.' Is it this Toa and his proxy master? Is this not madness that the strong are made to bow before the weak? Surely I am not the only one to see the folly of this. I plead with you, tell me! I know I am not the only one to be distressed by this."
Turning back to Phauxx she said, "Gird yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. Where were you during the late nights as I slaved to prepare my guild entry? Tell me, if you understand. Who came up with unique, and original ideas? Who created the Valkyr? Can you measure how much love I poured into the Children? Who came up with Xanite and crafted the System of Perdition, when I made the Seccundus Tergum, and clad my warriors with it? Have you ever given orders to an army, or commanded an armada, that it might take the earth by the edges and shake the wicked out of it? This world takes shape like clay under a seal; its features stand out like those of a garment. The wicked are denied their light and their upraised arm is broken. Who brings the lightening? Who brings the thunder? From whose womb comes lasers? Who rains down rainbow death from the sky? Who is the ox that he might kick against the goad? Tell me, where is your guild that allows you to address me like a peer? By what authority do you tell me what I can and cannot do? Were you chosen amongst the best and placed on a level all your own? Have you ascended by your own merit so that you are chosen for greatness? Already in five months I proved myself so that I was picked instead of those with years over me! Who are you that you may command something from me, and who am I that I have but no choice to obey? When was the last time you wrote a post over one thousand words? What is the longest post you have ever written? Already this post is over 1,500 words, and I tell you that I have written posts longer than this!"
"Ah, but better quality than quantity, am I not right? For clearly your posts are on such a higher level than my own. Truly I stand in awe of your wisdom in your posts. Every word, every phrase of yours is chose with extreme care. I can tell merely by looking at your posts that you should be the guild master, not me. Forgive me, I was wrong to do this to you. I am bullying you unjustly. I act out of character to satisfy some nonexistent grudge. Truly I take pleasure in the pain of others. I pray that you will forgive my absolute foolishness. Please, take me under your wing. Humble me that I may sit at your feet and learn how things are done. Teach me master, that I may grow wise like yourself. Teach me your ways that I may become mighty like you. What is the best way to edit my post discreetly so that my deus ex machinas may go unnoticed? I already appear invisible to the general populace. For clearly that is the most obvious way to safe guard against someone noticing my sleight of hand and taking pictures of me in the act. Is there some other technique that you may show me?"
"I beg of you sensei. I beg of you rabbai. I beg of you master. Teach me the secret s of old so that I might improve!"
And finally Ga relented her mental assault and withdrew. Phauxx gasped as the intense pressure that was causing his mind to throb stopped. The ability to just be able think was close to euphoric after such pain. His breaths came in deep rasps as he struggled to recover.
"Do not take this as a sign of my mercy," Ga stated, "You broke my patience long ago and I have no more mercy for you. I urge you once again to prepare yourself, for I will soon begin my final verbal assault. I give this period to you not out of grace, but out of all the pleasure I will take in crushing you at your strongest."
There was fifteen minutes as Phauxx struggled to get his breath under control. Finally, the Nuva raised his head, a proud glint in his eyes.
"Good," Ga said, a steely look on her face, "You are ready and thus I shall begin."
"Phauxx, your last post is illogical. There is no way you could know how we work. There is no way you could know that we claimed to be a peaceful organization. You have had little interaction with us, and from you have had there is no way you can come to that conclusion. For all intents and purposes, you should have assumed via our methods that we were a group of bounty hunters out to collect our bounty on you. Your last post as it stands is a testament to you in every sense. The lack of logic. The foolishness. The arrogance. The pointless noise. That is what your posts have embodied and your latest post shows it all too clearly. However we are a community based on rules, and rules must follow logic. Because you do not follow logic, it follows that you are a systemic anomaly that defies convention."
"To be blunt, you neither should nor do exist."
And deep within himself, Phauxx felt a burning sensation. He couldn't put his finger on what it was, but it hurt. The sensation spread within him, and soon his whole body felt like it was on fire. He bit his tongue, tried to stop himself, but to no avail. He cried out in pain. From his mind to his body to his soul, something was devouring Phauxx. He cried out for the pain to stop. This pain unlike anything he had ever experienced. He begged for mercy. For anything that could relieve him. But the Children of Perdition watched on coldly. Just as he had shown no mercy in his lifetime, thus they showed no mercy to him. The pain continued on for what seemed like an eternity until in his last moments he realized what the pain was. He stopped his crying, his begging, his pleading. In the last few seconds of his life, Phauxx finally understood. It was logic.
And with that, Phauxx disappeared in a poof of logic.
OOC: Obviously the whole final verbal assault that ended with Phauxx's death is just me goofing off and you can disregard that. Just me having some fun. Everything else stands though
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