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24k Gold Hau Giveaway! Also Platinum Avohkii, Sterling Silver Krana Kal, And Real Swiss Cheese Vahi!

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Bionicle Guru

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Betcha' didn't see this one coming!

 

I decided to be fun and update my blog for no reason other than because I can.

 

I'm sure you are all brimming with questions for me. So I will answer them for now. Better get your own questions or comments in while you can. Chances are that I won't be able to update this blog again until next year (And by then, I might be dead, for all you know, so no time like the present).

 

FAQ

 

Q: Where have you been?

A: College, dude! Actually, it isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'm one year away from graduating with a degree in Mechanical Engineering, and while I've learned a lot and had a great education, those first few years were really tough, boring, and sometimes depressing. Naturally, I lost the motivation to post on BZP often, although I kept collecting BIONICLE fervently in spite of predictions of not being able to.

 

Q: Well, what about BORNICLE?

A: Yeah, what about it??? I'm currently in negotiations to sell the movie rights to Viacom. OK, that is a lie. I'm actually accepting a settlement payment from LEGO for ceasing to produce BORNICLE, as it tarnishes the reputation of one of their most treasured brand names. Didn't believe that one either, eh? Well, the truth of the matter is this. As it stands, BORNICLE is slowly moving forward again. Evidence lies in a couple of recent additions (i.e May 2010) concerning the origins of the Toga Losa and their training at the hands of Hytaxon. The recent hiatus is actually a grieving period for me, since the results of the last Comedy Forum contest proved that I am completely lacking in comedic talent and that my former fans have abandoned me. That or everyone currently reading BZP comedies has lowered their standards so far as to accept whatever won that contest as "funny." Note that I have no idea who won; only that I lost. Hence the angst. I'll stop crying now.

 

You don't respond to PM's/can't send you a PM!

A: Um, buy me a lifetime Premier Membership! The data-hording scalawags have limited the amount of messages I can keep, so once it fills up, I'm forced to delete stuff. Some things I cannot delete though, so I'm holding out for some random generosity. Frankly, I like not receiving PM's, since they tend to be kind of obnoxious at times.

 

Q: Why do you refer to them as "PM's"?

A: Simple. Because, my dear children, if I referred to them as "Pms" like most BZPer's do, I'd be inadvertently sending all male message-recipients an undeserved punishment that most girls endure monthly. I'm not that rude.

 

Q: How do you feel about BIONICLE's end?

A: How do you think I feel!? The story is still going on, so I am grateful for that. Love the direction this new "The Powers that Be" serial is going. Also glad in a way my wallet won't have to endure additional spending. So maybe it is a good thing. I'll miss it dearly, and I will always treasure those toys. Even the Hordika. Yeah, I went there.

 

Q: What about Hero Factory?

A: A sick joke on my psyche! At first, I tried to write it off as childish story-wise and step backward for LEGO set design-wise. However, now that I see them in stores, that little voice of curiosity is whispering to me, "BIONICLE GURU, BUY WILLIAM FURNO. It's just one set. It won't hurt. You may not even like it that much. You aren't betraying BIONICLE. Go on. It feels good; the power. You can get lost in it..." And now that I realize the open-ended storyline allows for massive imaginary play opportunities, as opposed to the more structured world of BIONICLE, it becomes even more tempting. But I will wait for a sale. Or surprise gift. Whatever comes first. Must fight the voice in my head!

 

Q: What else is new?

A: Well, I'm currently working in Chicago for the summer. It is an internship, and it pays well, not to mention all the stuff I am learning. Chicago is an awesome city. Three Lego stores, a great art museum, excellent food, and even some random Transformers running around (yeah, I saw Shia "Sam Witwicky" LaBeouf running around downtown from invisible Decepticons). I've seen Inception, and it has been the best film I've seen all year, though I am hoping that TRON: Legacy outdoes it. As if you couldn't tell I am a TRON fan.

 

Well, that is it for now, folks. I go back to school for my last year in late August, but the time is coming again where I shall be more active in the online Lego community. I hope BZP doesn't go to pot in the meantime. I hope you enjoyed this comedic interview of sorts. Until next time, stay cool, don't brown-nose, and brakalatabassata FEED MEEEEEE!

 

-The Bionicle Guru

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I want my Swiss Cheese Vahi! It sounds delicious.

 

~B~

 

It was the best part of my lunch sandwich. Collectible, yet a bit sharp in flavor. Time dilation effects were minimal once I got the thing into my stomach.

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