I Have Plastic In My Eyes
Open eye, insert plastic, see clearly without glasses. Sounds simple.
But there's something that never really registers up until that very moment...
Your eye doesn't want plastic in it.
Never mind that you'll be able to see yourself in a mirror from farther than five inches! You're attempting to not only touch your finger to your eye, but insert a foreign object! I don't know about yours, but my eye's total unenthusiastic reaction was basically the following:
"Oh, hi, you took your glasses off! My, things are blurry today, you gonna put those back on? Oooh, tiny little circley thingies... you know, you could probably see them better if you put the glasses back on. No? Oh well, your choice. Hm, those sure are tiny... wait, what are you doing? You can't need to hold them that close, honest, I could see them just fine before... wait! WAIT! Are you aware that you're trying to stuff that in your eye!? OW! Stop it! OW! What are you huffing in frustration for!? I'm the one trying to stop your insanity! I'm --OW!-- warning you! HEY! Just doing my job here!"
So eventually, you physically restrain your eyelids and ignore every cry of sense and reason that they scream at you, and after a few tries you can miraculously see! And then your eye just says, "Hm, this is actually quite nice... ooh, I can make out the pattern of the carpeting and everything... very nice, very nice, so we're just going to keep this in then? I think I can deal with... wait. Wait. NO! You don't need one in the other eye! We're doing just fine here, thank you, and --OW!"
Happily, after almost a week of practice, my eyes and I have reached an understanding. I pry them open and jab the contacts in them, they get to cry and twitch and redden as much as they please, and in the end we both get to see. Win/win situation! =D