Squid in a Cordak Blaster

Make sure you look at a calendar first to double-check that there isn't a month between April and June. That other topic just might not be as alive as you thought.

*Sigh of relief.*

Thank goodness for mothers who read over your shoulder...


Turakii

Reference Keepers are a very interesting species. Living mainly off chicken, hamburgers, cereal, and other such things, they have been discovered to have tastes in food incredibly similar to humans. They are known to live in groups, usually in the Bionicle Reference Center, though a few stray outside toward Storyline and Theories... ah, there's one now! It appears to be a member of the Hordika family! Let's creep closer and see if we can observe its habits...

Notice how relaxed it is in its natural habitat. And... *lowers voice to whisper.* Look, I see we found it actually typing up a Bionicle Serial. Reference Keepers have occasionally been known to be hostile when disturbed from this pastime...

Wait, look at that! Quick, zoom in on this shot! What is it doing!?

It appears to be traveling through several states on the second of June to visit a Forum Assistant! This is totally new behavior! Could it be the beginning of a new breed!?

Now it seems to be calmly staying near the Forum Assistant, almost acting human as it shows her movies and video games... no! Wait! Now, only three days later, it is putting the Forum Assistant in its car and returning to its original location! This is a breakthrough in Reference Keeper studies! The world must know! I must add this to my book immediately! *Whips out notepad and pencil and beings scribbling furiously.*

---

So anyways, I might be somewhat missing in action until the fourteenth, when the wild Reference Keeper returns me to my natural habitat. =P


Turakii

I don't know if it just hates me or what, but for some reason, Firefox refuses to show me most images from Brickshelf. Not even one of those little red Xs or icons to show something's supposed to be there. Just... empty space.

I suspect there's some deep grudge behind this... like, maybe Brickshelf insulted Firefox's grandmother's knitting patterns or something...

It's getting really annoying when it comes to signature reports, 'cause people say, "His banner is too big!" and I click and say, "What banner? "

I have to switch browsers just to see the image! D= GRAAARGH!

And Firefox just laughs to itself...

*Glares at it.*


Turakii

So today I'm rewatching Beauty and the Beast, because I haven't seen it since I was, like, five. And I has comments and questions. 8D

• What if the Beast had fallen in love with Mrs. Potts?
• Was Mrs. Potts a widow?
• If not, then where was her husband? Was he so unimportant a character that they never showed him?
• Was her husband away from the castle when this happened?
• Did he come home at all during that time? How did he feel to discover his beloved wife was a teapot?
• What exactly did that enchantress do to make household objects so pliable as to be able to wave their "arms" and talk?
• A sheep BIT A CHUNK OUT OF HER BOOK.
• Why does Belle take so long to notice the huge crowd of people following her and singing at the tops of their lungs?
• Do the villagers practice regularly to sing in such perfect harmony whenever Belle walks by?
• Gaston points out there are no pictures in her book, but the page she showed the sheep had a lovely illustration of "prince charming." Did the sheep eat that and the rest of the pictures off-camera?
• How DARE Gaston think himself more important than a book. >=O
• Not all creepy, foggy roads are shortcuts.
• No, someone's not there. You're just randomly hearing voices saying, "Maybe if we wait awhile, he'll go away."
• How did the candelabra manage to push people and tap things without setting them on fire?
• All those parts that fell out of Cogsworth when he fell down the stairs might possibly be important...
• How is it physically possible for someone's lips to stretch all the way through a tuba?
• When I was little, I thought "provincial" was a synonym for "boring."
• Whenever the most annoying guy in the village proposes to me, I always run up to the top of a hill and sing amidst the dandelions too.
• How exactly does Mrs. Potts do the dishes when she has no arms?
• Wouldn't it be a little difficult to sound your B's and P's with protruding fangs?
• So here's this poor guy, just hanging out after a long, hard day, when he gets his belt stolen by this short guy and before he can say a word, Gaston snaps it with a flexing of his neck muscles.
• Man, I wish I had my own personal companion to sing me an ego-boost song whenever I'm lacking in self-esteem. ;.;
• How does the candelabra keep relighting himself with his breath?
• Also, how do the various household appliances reach those tall door handles?
• My, the Beast sure knows how to win a girl's heart. Nothing like some nice snarling, growling, and yelling, "EAT DINNER WITH ME!" to show those females how much you care.
• Belle totally dodges the question when she retorts to his, "Well, you shouldn't have been in the west wing!" with, "Well, you should learn to control your temper!"
• Did the inhabitants of the castle turn into these objects or merge with them? Because the castle probably had a stove before the spell was cast... so what happened to it?
• After they're turned back, does the (former) Beast need to purchase a whole new set of kitchenware and furniture?
• THE BEAST REGENERATES.
• But he was waaay cuter as a beast. =(
• And how are little flying cupids supposed to be better than awesome gargoyle statues? Those magic sparkles have a poor decorating sense...
• They need to make a sequel about the adjusting period where all the people in the castle try to get used to not being made out of china/wood/metal.

Turakii

All of these are really bad examples of them:

"Woah, awesome comic! It made my day!"

"This. Is. EPIC!"

"Good work. Dude, I could never do that. Neat job. 10000/10"

"Eh, needs work. Nice try, though."

"Love it! You're a good drawer!"

I know from experience how hard it can be to find something to say about a piece of artwork, an MOC, a comic, or a story. However, simply telling the member that you liked it (or disliked it) doesn't tell them how they might improve or what to continue doing in the future. (And informing them that they are the insert of a dresser isn't particularly complimentary.)

A good general rule is this: if you could take your post and paste it into another topic in the same forum (or even a different forum), and it would still make sense, then it's probably spam. Your post should be very specific to the topic.

If you don't have the time or the basic knowledge about the creative work to write a long review (see: Turakii's MOC reviews (also see: Turakii's MOCing knowledge, or lack thereof)), at least try to mention something that proves you actually looked at the creative work. E.G.:

"This. Is. EPIC! Kopaka's eyepiece looks awesome! You're really good at drawing the fluffiness of the tutu!"

"Eh, needs work. It's really sketchy and it looks like he has seven arms sprouting out of his nose. Also, Takua looks too much like a mutant elephant."

...

Okay, rant over. XD It just gets a little frustrating when I realize that if all the spam posts in a topic were deleted, there would be maybe four posts left.

Turakii

What if the past doesn't really exist?

What if the only proof anything actually happened is in the memories and how its occurrence affected people?

If everyone forgot about something in history, would it cease to be?

...

This has been profound musings with Turakii. Tune in next week to hear Turakii ask, "What if the sky is really a giant space monster and the blue is the inside of its mouth?"


Turakii

1. You guys need to send more of them.

2. To me. =3

3. And use interesting titles.

4. Not that "Signature Report" isn't descriptive, but the personal messages say they wouldn't mind more individuality.

5. Let me take this moment to add that EmperorWhenua has one of the most unique signature-reporting methods I have ever seen in my life. oO


Turakii

Story Factory meme thingy!

Rules:
1. Load up Windows Media Player or MP3 player or some such thingy
2. Que your entire library, or the longest playlist you have
3. Turn on shuffle
4. Write down the first ten songs that come up
5. Somehow find a way to connect them into something resembling logical sense
6. You can use either the actual song content or just the titles (I'm personally using just titles)


1. Enough - Chris Tomlin

Once upon a time, there was a teenaged guy named Chris whose mom, every single morning, would give him a big old bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast. Big bowl of sauerkraut! Every single morning! It was driving him crazy! Until one day, his sanity gave out and he stomped downstairs with his sneakers hanging off his ears and a hairbrush sticking out of his sock, wearing nothing but a fluffy pink tutu (and the sock). He dashed into the middle of the kitchen, threw apart his arms, and bellowed, "ENOUGH! ENOUGH!"


2. Decay Mode - Valve

Unhappily for Chris, he then discovered that he had somehow walked into and spent the night in a cliche decaying haunted house by mistake. The skeletons and ghosts and wizards looked at him with expressions resembling "O_o," and he muttered something about "Those darn buses, never letting you know which one's your stop..." before sneaking out the door.


3. Never Let This Go - Paramore

It so happens that ghosts and skeletons not only have very long memories (which they need, seeing as they live pretty much forever and all), but also digital cameras and their own personal websites. Chris was unaware of this fact until every one of the pictures had been uploaded to a page titled "lol a guy in a tutu."


4. I Will - Sowelu

Chris frantically went to Google and searched "ways to get skeletons and ghosts to delete embarrassing photos off their websites without angering them into haunting you for the rest of your short days." He was fortunate enough to find a helpful website, which informed him that the best way to get on any skeleton's good side is to show that you tolerate and embrace their differences by joining into their family.

In an attempt to save his dignity at any cost, Chris returned to the haunted mansion (properly dressed this time) and dropped to his knees in front of the skeleton chief. "Your highness! I have come to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage!"


5. Kom Hall Om Mig - Caramel

Sadly, this was simply not Chris's lucky day. As it so happened, the skeleton chief had never had any daughters and this was a very sore subject with him. Chris went home followed by a parade of disgruntled ghosts and skeletons, all of which stayed closer to him than the creepiest stalker, and moaned, groaned, and yodeled all night. After three sleepless weeks and a lot of strange looks at work, he knew that there was no help for it -- it was time to flee to Sweden.


6. Rest - Skillet

At last! With a sigh of contentment, he enjoyed what had to be the most delicious sleep he had ever tasted. The ghosts and skeletons had protested loudly as he boarded the plane, having grown rather attached to him (not that it was mutual), but none of them had renewed their passports in several decades and were stuck waving their handkerchiefs mournfully. Their saddened faces haunted his mind for a moment, but were quickly buried under a barrage of blissful Zs.


7. Come Right Out And Say It

So Chris lived there and did stuff and such and such, and then he met this amazing girl and dated her for two whole weeks and then proposed but then, gasp! Drama! There was something that she utterly refused to tell him! What could it be!? Tearing up his pillows in agony, beating his head against the wall, and staring at her while holding a big sign with a sadface emoticon on it had had no effect! There was only one thing left to do... ask her to come right out, and... say it.


8. Concrete Girl - Switchfoot

Chris was shocked beyond belief. After knowing her for so long -- fourteen days, two weeks, one fortnight! A century in mayfly terms! -- how could he never have known!? How could she have kept it quiet for all that time!? But now that he knew the truth, there was no way to do anything but accept it -- she was a statue.


9. Magical Picture Books - Final Fantasy (Chocobo Tales)

After tearfully kissing her stone feet goodbye, he staggered down the street, certain he could never love again. Although his parents had warned him about girls with hearts of stone, he had always brushed it away... yet now... but that was all behind him. He buried his face in a handkerchief and sobbed. However, it is very difficult to see where you are going when your face is buried in a handkerchief, and before he had a chance to remove it, he had tripped over a cobblestone and fallen facefirst into a magical picture book that just happened to be there for some reason, and been teleported to another dimension.


10. The Water Buffalo Song - Veggietales

Chris sat up, unable to believe his eyes. Water buffalo of every color pranced, twirled, and spun gracefully among the tulips in a display of grace and poise he never thought water buffalo could have! His eyes grew wide with wonder. As he stared and stared, eyes as big as plates, a water buffalo came up behind him and put a hoof on his shoulder.

"Look here, sonny," said the water buffalo, pointing to a sign, "Don't you see that this here's private property?"

"But," said Chris, eyes tearing up again, "This place is so beautiful..."

The water buffalo looked him up and down, then nodded knowingly. "I see... sonny, have you always felt that maybe you don't belong? That you don't really... fit in? That maybe, all this time, you've been something you weren't meant to be?"

Chris gasped. "Do you mean... I'm really a water buffalo!?"

"No, you ninny," said the water buffalo. "Have you ever looked in the mirror!? Gosh!"

"I know," Chris admitted, "But I was hoping that it could magically turn out I was one and then I could live here and this could end happily ever after."

"I don't see how that's going to work, seeing as you're not a buffalo and all," said the water buffalo. "But hey, here's what I'll do. I've got a spare coupon for a Whopper Jr. at Macdonalds -- you just take it right over there and get yourself a nice burger so we can go back to dancing in peace, okay?"

"Okay!" Chris happily took the coupon, hugged it, and skipped through the tulips to the Macdonalds as the credits music began to play in the background.

The End

So recently, I heard a commercial for a radio which enticed you with descriptions such as, "The most top-of-the-line, groundbreaking radio you can find on the market! How could you choose otherwise, when it has a patented double-coiled antenna, bright and readable LED face, and... *gasp*... functional knobs and buttons!"

...

Wait... knobs and buttons that actually do something!? Technology really has advanced!


Turakii

After about a month of excitement and anticipation, I finally saw it today! *Fangirls.*

I thought the movie did a really good job of capturing the Wonderland (or Underland =P) atmosphere. They used many of the characters from the books, yet gave them a special twist and more personality.

Alice herself didn't seem to have much character  -- some of the creatures/people overflowed with their personality (the Cheshire Cat or even the March Hare), but she never seemed to really define herself as anything but the hero. I could tell what they were trying to do with her, but I think the scriptwriters could have given her more spirit.

The effects, however, were as amazing as people claim. Probably more than half the characters were partly or all CGI (in some scenes, there weren't even any real people at all), but it was incorporated very well. The Cheshire Cat's appearing and disappearing effects are aaaaawesome! =D I'll bet it's even more stunning in 3D.

The Mad Hatter was like Jack Sparrow, Willy Wonka, an occasional Scottish accent, and an awesome hat combined into a teapot and stirred vigorously for five minutes, then served. Johnny Depp is just really good at playing slightly (or more than slightly) insane yet likable characters.

The one thing I really didn't like about it...

(Spoiler'd for those who have yet to see it)

(If you haven't seen it, don't peek!)

(I know how hard it is to resist clicking that button, but I grant you willpower! YOU HAVE THE WILLPOWER! *Summons globe of sparkling willpower and emails it to you*)...

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «

...Was the ending. They definitely built up to a bit of a Mad Hatter/Alice romance going on, then just let it down. Although I didn't mind them not kissing (because, as cute as kissing is, let's face it, every single movie nowadays seems to have kissing in it), I felt she should have either stayed in Underland or given more than a quick, hopeful "I'll be back" as a hint that she will return.

Ending on a boat seemed to me almost like symbolizing her sailing away from Underland and moving on to the adult world, as she's moving farther and farther away from the rabbit hole. I was really shocked when they ended it right there. =/ What would have made more sense, in my opinion, would be for her to run back to the hole and whisper, "Just wait for me!" or something like that, then walked away as it faded to credits. What would have been even cooler is, instead of the caterpillar dude reappearing at the end, it turning out that the Hatter had come after her and was a sailor on the boat or something. Then he could have braided his hair and they could have become pirates and bravely sailed the seven seas, searching for dead man's chests and... no, wait...

Fantasizing aside, the ending seemed kind of cut off, like they weren't sure what to use as the ending. My best guess is they're hoping that, if it's popular enough, then can add a sequel. But still... it lacked in... muchness. ;.;

Okay, sorry about the rant. <=D I'm done now, honest.

And, on a different note, here's some random fanart I drew while waiting for the movie to come to theaters!


Turakii