Kraggh's Works ♫♪

Foreword
 
So I thought I'd start this list before Les Miserables came out with Anne Hathaway doing what I know will be a breathtaking job of playing Fantine and completely forcing me to rethink how I set up this list.  Meanwhile, I will also be composing a list after this dedicated to characters who I think are manly.
 
Why am I doing this? When I first had the idea of creating this list, I brushed it aside because I thought it was inherently superficial. Nobody wants to hear about what female characters I think are more beautiful than others. If there's one sure way to degrade the opposite sex, it's by rating them on their appearances. I didn't want to write anything superficial. My disposition changed when I realized that I could make a few significant notes about humanity and discuss beauty on more than one level. Then I got the idea to make this a countdown, so as to better divide the list and dedicate more time to each entrant, and which leads me to the present.

These characters, through their personalities and the way their appearances have reflected them, have fundamentally affected my image of what beauty is over time. Sometimes I have had huge crushes on the characters, while at other times I have not crushed on the character but she has molded the image in my mind of what makes for a woman. Sometimes I end up really appreciating people who remind me of the character. The ten people of this compilation have together come to help define my understanding of what makes femininity wholesome.

This list will naturally include pictures, of course, since there's no better way to describe someone's external beauty, but I would also like to explain through words why their personalities make their faces stand out.

A distinction must be made so that it is clear that this list specifically refers to the depictions of fictional characters and not the actresses who play them. Therefore beforehand I will have to give honorable mention to multiple characters played by Jennifer Connelly, such as Marion Silver (who has such a beautiful name) and Sarah (from Labyrinth), and characters played by Zooey Deschanel and Audrey Hepburn, who have all played beautiful and appealing characters, but too much of their appeal was because I was already predisposed to admire their portrayers. In the upcoming examples I think that the actresses who played my favorite characters are themselves beautiful, but primarily because of their association with the given character.

Now, there are certain characters who did not make the list that I'd like to get out of the way right now via more honorable mentions. Violet Parr was my official Disney crush and imaginary girlfriend back in fifth grade. Merida from Brave currently holds that title, but animated characters are off limits in this list. Amy Pond, Rose Dawson, Io, Hermione Granger, and Mary Poppins are all beautiful in different ways, along with many others who come to mind that I won't mention just because I know people like some sense of mystery on these lists and hopes that their choices will make it (only to completely hate on the list maker when the #1 choice is either an underdog or overrated).

But anyway, those aren't my Top 10. This foreword has gone on long enough. Time for me to ramble on about individuals, starting with...



10 - Juno MacGuff
 

 

When I first saw posters for this indie film, I thought it was going to be nothing but an obscure raunchy comedy, but somehow my judgment must have changed, because I ended up wanting to watch it somewhere along the line. Probably an advertisement.

What matters was that I watched it, and it was one of the best indies I've seen. Very touching and all that.

The first thing that's cool about Juno is her name. I'm attracted to a pretty name just as much as I am to a pretty face, and this one matches her personality. It's pretty, but quirky, which is who Juno is. And she doesn't need a nerd to be quirky. She's very sure of herself, and a deadpan snarker. Casting Ellen Page for her was perfect, since Ellen has this distinct sound to her voice that's perfect for a casually sarcastic teenager.

She can be a bit aggressive in a social way. After all, she went and got pregnant, which was sort of the main plot point, but even after that unexpected little bump she handled things quite well. It's not like she shrugged it off, but it didn't completely change her. The worst part, really, was realizing the social stigma that came with teenage pregnancy, but other than that she remained her eccentric self. She could have been really insecure, but she got along with whoever was willing to just chill.

Yeah, I guess that since she's not a nerd you could alternatively classify her as a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, but at least she isn't fixing up the life of a brooding young man - and she's the main character. So she's known well for he likes and quirks, but that was a lifestyle she chose. Among other choices. She could be a real person and not just an imaginary archetype. If she was a perfect MPDG, she's be nothing but quirks, and she inverts it by truly having some deeper concerns, such as making sure something good happens to her baby. And really, many a teenager can be awkward and weird, and she enjoys it to its fullest extent. Go life.

And seriously, she has a hamburger-phone.
 

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A pastor requested that I write this list and give it to him out of interest of my views on things, so here it is.  It was interesting deciding how to judge this list, because these are certainly movies that I think everyone should see.  There are quite a few movies I believe everyone should see, actually, but the reasons for each can be quite different.  For many, I consider them must-sees purely because they redefined a genre, and for others because of their historic integrity and fame and for their many references throughout later films.  Yet in this case, I think the governing philosophy was that I thought about which movies are the most relevant.  If you could only see ten movies in your entire lifetime, which ones would I recommend?  If I could choose only three to have an impact on your life, which ones would they be?



10.  The Princess Bride

I was tempted to include To Kill A Mockingbird in this movie's place, but Mockingbird's book exceeds the film and I'd rather include that in the list of books that everyone should read (along with Fahrenheit 451).  There are many other films out there that are more powerful and more inspirational with far more relevance, but between this and The Wizard of Oz, I figured I'd have to include at least one movie on this list for pure entertainment value, because there's something for everyone in this movie and it provides the perfect movie for bonding.  It's not just a family film: It's a film that a bunch of friends can watch together, a bunch of teenagers can watch together, and even something a bunch of strangers can watch together.  It's just the perfect movie, and surely one of the Greats.



9.  Fantasia/Fantasia 2000

Disney first intended this to be an ongoing project that reincarnated every few years and changed just slightly each time.  Someday, I hope that comes true, because it would be one of the marvels and of modern culture if it did, because culture needs its constants, the things it can always go back to.  Since I consider these two movies two halves of that same project,  include them together.

This movie will get you interested in classic music and give you a great appreciation of music in general.  it's a strange and beautiful world, one that we mortals can hardly understand and yet are fortunate enough to have some insight on.  Hopefully it changes the way you experience music.

There are also wonderful scenes and beautiful creative ideas, all put into one moving picture.  if this doesn't stimulate the flow of your imagination, I don't know what will, because this is Disney at his purest.  There's a little bit of everything, from dancing to nature to surreal stories.  There's abstract art, quintessential illustrations of the conflict between good and evil, and a primal struggle between the spirits of creation and destruction, climaxing in themes of life, death, and rebirth.  What I really have to give props to these films, however, is its pure and unrelenting depiction of evil through Chernabog, by far its most perfect depiction on screen.  It's so sinister that there's no story that can possibly go with it, no plotting or scheming on his part, just him delighting in his perversity.  It's utterly inhuman, but I think people need to see that, to know that it's real.  Don't worry, though, as always this evil can't stand the light of goodness once it appears.  A church bell rings and Chernabog retreats to his mountain, not even able to enjoy his own existence.  A light appears and the black butterflies at the beginning of Fantasia 2000 cripple.  And even when the Firebird burns to Spring Sprite, it collapses on itself when there is nothing left to destroy and creation can start anew.

There are many stories based around these archetypes, that beat around the bush and put a spin on them, but the Fantasia project really gets at them, reveal them for all that they are.



8.  Superman I&II (Richard Donner Cut)

Superman is truly an icon for the ages and someone who I feel needs a strong place in culture to remind everyone of the ideal we wish to strive for.  He's just a man with extraordinary gifts who chose to use them for the most selfless purposes.

As this was actually all one movie in the sense that the various scenes were shot simultaneously under Donner and that they were two halves to one giant script, I include them here as one unit, as they should be.

Now, the reason why I insist upon the Donner cut is that, even though there are major plot holes due to incomplete footage (for which I should hope that people inform themselves on the full story of what was gong on behind the scenes as the movies were being made), is that the story of Kal-El, Clark Kent, is all the more telling.  He played the genre straight instead of for humor and camp, and he took the person of the main character quite seriously.  There are scenes in this cut where Christopher Reeves really gave Kal-El a soul, and there are moments between father and son that resonate on very deep levels.  Someone once said with regards to storytelling that everything comes back to Shakespeare, mythology, and the Bible, in which case I can vouch for the final item on that list in that there are powerful themes coming from the tale of the Prodigal Sun, and because of this I think people have to realize that Superman truly is human and relatable, and on a level that's more relevant to anything any other superhero has accomplished.  I mean, I can only relate to Peter Parker getting bullied (and his angst isn't always depicted as a flaw) and Bruce Wayne's lifelong anger over his parent's death.  This is far more humanizing: a son having to admit that his father was right and come to terms with his destiny.  And you know what?  As simple as it is, I think it's one of the most basic things out there and I'm glad, because flaws aren't character traits, they're individual actions.

Combined with its moments of Americana, the timeless love affair between Lois and Clark, the old fashioned values it presents, its belief in human decency, and the many golden moments of wisdom from Kal-El's father Jor-El, Superman I&II presents something that's far more than meets the eye, and though it isn't as entertaining as an action film like later installments in the genre that it established, it still stands as the classic example of superheroism.  There is a lot to be learned from this film.



7.  Life is Beautiful

An Italian Jew and his family are sent to a concentration camp, yet he doesn't let this affect his son.  He uses the art of story to spin tales that make the concentration camps out to be a strangely entertaining place, sheltering his boy from knowing the full horror that he lives in.  In the end, the father manages to keep his son alive, although the father himself dies.

The reason why I have to emphasize this movie so much is that it was one of the first films I ever remembered watching, and it changed my worldview.  I've always been very aware of mortality because of this and of the wrongs that have braced the world in the past.  I have always been aware that I can potentially lose my freedom, but that I am extremely lucky to live as I do.  Yet, it especially taught me about death and the limited number of days we are given to live and make what we can of them.

Perhaps not everyone who decided to watch this because of this recommendation is three-year-old, so it obviously won't affect them in quite the same way that it does me, but it still provides some important insights, such as the theme presented in the title: no matter what, life is beautiful.  So long as there is hope, there ought to be happiness, and there is always hope, there is always a light.  Even in the face of certain death, a father can tell his son that things will be all right.



6.  An American Christmas Carol

Not everybody has heard of this film.  After all, it was made for television, and it stars Henry Winkler as the stand-in for Scrooge, an American innovator named Benedict Slade.  Expectations might be low.  Yet, Slade's story and its many sorrows rise to unexpected potency.  This is, beyond a doubt, the most powerful rendition of Charles Dickens's classic A Christmas Carol that I have ever seen.

Set during the Great Depression, Slade is a harsh man, yet immediately is believable.  Perhaps it's the setting, in which it resonates a familiar chord with American viewers.  What i can say for sure is that instantly he avoids a stereotype.  He has the typical view of Social Darwinism that belongs to the archetype, yes, but there's still an element of warmth and humanity, visible signs of hurt and bitterness, and all the subtle details that already show his backstory.

Then we see the backstory.  It's been told before, but this twist is unique.  He truly was a man of potential.  He truly was admirable.  He was an orphan with a unique upbringing, and he had brilliant innovations.  He was even a generous person, and you wanted to see him succeed, and yet there came a point where his own success drove a wedge between him and the people he loved.  Within that love in his life he turned into Scrooge in all but name.

His present is then shed in an even more revealing light, and when the third act comes around and he sees his future, the sight of his gravestone has the power it was meant to have.  I truly feel the pain that brought about his reformation.

To me, this is the definitive version of the tale, an A Christmas Carol is one of the most powerful and recurring tales to be told since the invention of the printing press.  With all its power and the truth it speaks, it is very important that people see a story like this, of a bitter man reforming his ways and turning his life around.  Scrooge/Slade is the ultimate antihero and one of the ultimate literary figures of all time.  This is the finest telling of how love affects our growth as human beings around.



5.  Mr. Smith Goes to Washington

Back in the day, the American government hated this film.  Hitler's Germany, Mussolini's Italy, and Stalin's Soviet Russia, the last being rather interesting because in back on home territory the film was accused of being anti-American and pro-Communism.  It was, of course, nothing of the sort but in fact one of the most important and revealing films.  It is very good that such movies as these exist, as they remind us of the flaws of our government and help us to keep it accountable.

Then, of course, Mr. Smith, played by the immortal James Stewart, goes from the underdog to the inspirational champion of clean politics, winning a war against corruption with his dogged honesty and rare dedication to his ideals.  God bless Jefferson Smith, and God bless James Stewart.  We need more people like them, both in literature and in real life.



4.  The Blue and the Gray

This sprawling Civil War epic, released as a miniseries, covers the long, long story of John, a simple man from the South who went to find a job in the North.  With family in both regions, he finds himself at the center of a great internal conflict as the nation tears itself apart.  Swearing he will never fire a shot for other side, the tale of how John tries to maintain his innocence is one that everyone will root for, something everyone should root for.  When he finally does something against his conscious, his friend Jonah Steel had to console him with "Nobody asked you to come out of this a saint."

Very interesting - and profound - words, because on a deeper level I think it speaks for the desires we have for ourselves.  We would like to live in the light for all our lives and never compromise with what we believe is wrong, but in the end that compromise in inevitable.

There is a lot of other things going for this story beyond John.  With a giant ensemble cast, the adventures and mistakes of the rest of his family and the man named Jonah Steel find themselves chronicles in this vast and comprehensive look at the Civil War.  Since To Kill A Mockingbird didn't make it on this list, I might also add that Gregory Peck plays Abraham Lincoln with grace and soul, bringing to life a beloved American legend and completing the epic scope of this sadly overlooked miniseries.



3.  It's A Wonderful Life

This American classic reveals that no matter what, life is full of love.  It also teaches that life is beautiful, which was confusing for me as a kid as I would often get this film's name mixed up with another item on this list.  James Steward appears in what is beyond doubt his greatest, most iconic role and the best lead character of all time, George Bailey.  Never before has the silver screen given birth to such character, and so rarely does it remember that these are the lives worth chronicling.

We all know the story.  George Bailey was just an average man trying to make his way in life, filled with fantastic dreams of a better tomorrow.  He had visions he wanted to fulfill and a job he wanted to move onto.  Yet, when his father died, he turned down the opportunity to be a builder and joined his father's profession willingly, although without any eagerness.  He passed his dreams onto his brother while he stayed grounded, working for the better good of his town and protecting it from the entanglements of the twisted Mr. Potter.  Eventually he came to doubt himself, and in a moment when he is unknowingly robbed by Potter he feels that he has failed and has lost all hope.  Not only did he fail himself, but he failed his wife, his friends, and his entire community.

Then, of course, he considers suicide, because he's more valuable dead than he is alive.  He's stopped by the divine intervention of a guardian angel, who shows him what life would be like if he had never been born.

Forget for a moment that this has been parodied and mimicked a million times.  Just think about it.  He thought that his life went nowhere.  He gave up on his plans and gave up on his dreams.  That should be a miserable life, correct?  Yet, he found out that he lived the life he should have lived, that he in fact lived a wonderful life.

Look at the condition of humanity now, and how we judge our happiness.  We'd like to ideally live for ourselves and give ourselves our dream paths.  We speak of loving each other, but on our terms.  Maybe things weren't meant to come out the way we planned them.  Maybe we should just stop trying to control our lives and be like George Bailey, who provides the example for generations the light of altruism.



2.  Les Miserables (Tenth Anniversary Concert)

“So long as there shall exist, by reason of law and custom, a social condemnation which, in the midst of civilization, artificially creates a ###### on earth, and complicates with human fatality a destiny that is divine; so long as the three problems of the century - the degradation of man by the exploitation of his labour, the ruin of women by starvation and the atrophy of childhood by physical and spiritual night are not solved; so long as, in certain regions, social asphyxia shall be possible; in other words and from a still broader point of view, so long as ignorance and misery remain on earth, there should be a need for books such as this.”

This is it.  This is my great philosophy for literature, drama, and cinema.  And these are words used to describe the book of the same name that this play is based off of.  Its message is huge.  It addresses everything that plagues society while creating a small pantheon of characters who are humanized like few fictional characters have ever been humanized before.  Stories like this have to exist.  They must exist.

There's no excuse for not seeing this.  The whole thing can be found song for song on the internet.  If you can help it, watch it in concert as well, but certainly watch the TAC.  This may or may not count as a movie, but I don't care.  This is the definitive rendition.  Not all the songs are there, and the acting is limited.  They mostly dress in costume and sing in character.  However, the power of the music and the words and their personas goes beyond conventional means of storytelling, making this beyond doubt the greatest concert given for any play, ever.

What makes this such a gem is Colm Wilkinson and his definitive portrayal of Jean Valjean, the greatest fictional character ever imagined.  At first a bitter and abused man, fresh from jail and bullied by prejudiced employers as he lives life on parole, he finds inspiration and redemption from the saintly Bishop of Digne, reforming his life and discovering that he is a beautiful person.  He becomes a leader, a father figure, and a friend, all the while still facing his temptations and trials but through all his endeavors becoming as white as snow and the torchbearer for altruism.  By the end his life is summed up as saintly, much like the Bishop of Digne, it is sung that "to love another person is to see the face of God" right before he gives up his angel and dies.

Why Colm Wilkinson?  Well, to put it simply, he embraces the passion of the part like no one else, and has an aura that is nearly impossible to match, an ability to cover all the spectrums of humanity found within Jean Valjean, gain the audience's trust and respect, command a noble depiction appropriate for the stage, and sing like an angel.  In fact, Valjean's signature song, "Bring Him Home", was written for Wilkinson's voice.  He is Jean Valjean.  Because we have the man who is Jean Valjean, we have the most powerful experience imaginable, and this play can truly turn lives around.



1.  Schindler's List

For the exact reason that the book Les Miserables exists, so does this film.  Unrelenting, unabashed, and truthful to every last detail, Schindler's List is the definitive account of the Holocaust in cinema.  Quite frankly, this film must exist, and it must be seen.  It is so true to an event so dire and almost impossible to capture, it's a miracle.  How stark is this picture?  When Stephen Spielberg wanted a score for the film, John Williams himself said "You need a better composer for this."

"I know," said Spielberg.  "But they're all dead."

Nothing can truly do full justice to the tragedy of the Holocaust, but this comes as close as it gets.  As horrendous as it was, as terrifying its impact, it must be remembered.  Something like this and the hatred that inspired it must never be allowed to escape our attention, and the world owes it to the people who suffered and died in the Holocaust solemn memory.  If it is forgotten, how human are we?  How can we escape the sins of our fathers when we fall for the same sins again?

This was the last film to make me cry in a very long time.  The ending is, in my mind, the most significant in film history, with the most potent and relevant of messages: "Save a life, save the world."  A sudden appreciation for the sacredness of human life came upon me, and it hasn't left since.  It is this undying love that has fueled minds like Victor Hugo, the directors of it's a Wonderful Life and Life is Beautiful, and the heart of Superman.  It is this recognition that leads men to be better to each other, to value each other, and seek the light together.  One day, this love will bring us home.

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So here are a few random things that stood out to me:

• The guy with the red turban during Canadian's segment was cool.  At least, the turban was.  I love the simplicity of Canada's color scheme.
• It was pretty cool the way China had a really tall guy as their flag bearer.
• Denmark is one of the most competitive non-Asian nations in Badmitton
• Djibouti is one of my favorite country names, and the commentators on the channel I was watching agreed.
• Baseball is the most popular sport in the Dominican Republic?  I didn't know that.
• Some clothing was really foreign, such as some African nations.  I liked the diversity.
• It was a bit confusing when Macedonia appeared in the F section, but then the commentators explains that the country's technical name was Former Yugoslavian Republic of Macedonia.
• Heil Deutschland!
• Actually, I loved how Germany had female athletes in pink and male athletes in blue.
• One of the Honduras athletes was a college roommate of Mark Zuckerberg.
• I look forward to seeing the Icelandic athletes.
• OH MY GOD THE INDEPENDANT OLYMPIC ATHLETES WERE SO COOL!
• Israel's flagbearer had a really cool tatoo.   I normally think that tattoos are dump, but if I made it into the Olympics I would put a mark on my skin that would last the rest of my life to commemorate it.
• YAY!  USAINE BOLT IS JAMAICA'S FLAGBEARER!  BEST FLAGBEARER EVER!
• I feel sorry for Libya.  The turmoil that's been plaguing their country clearly reflects in the number of athletes they have been able to send.
• It's cool to see a tiny country like Luxembourg.  I'm going to have to find out what events they're in so I can keep track.  Hey, if you blink you'll miss it.
• Leve Nederland!  being of Dutch Heritage, I was obviously very excited.  I will be keeping very close track of the Netherlands and rooting for their athletes.  One of the commentators had a wife who was Dutch, which was really cool.  I loved their orange jackets and I was looking foreward to their flag for the entire ceremoney up until that point.  I'm so happy to be Dutch.
• Puerto Rico is it's own country in the Olympics?  Cool.  I liked their white suites.
• Coincidentally, the Rwandan flagbearer looked like Don Cheadle.
• San Marino's in the Olympics, so why isn't the Vatican?  Just kidding.
• The Solomon Island had cool clothes.  One of the guys died his beard, and their flagbearer was cool.
• I'm loving the guy from Spain wearing a pink wig.
• Turkey might host a future Olympics.  It would make it the first Islamic country to do so.  That would be very interesting.  I hope the best for them.
• The Ukrainian flagbearer had a cool hat.

United States of America:
The first thing  noticed were, of course, the uniforms.  They weren't quite what I was expecting.  I was really thinking I was going to see something similar to Germany, with people in athletic clothes, but everyone was .wearing white pants, navy blue jackets, and berets.  It didn't feel so American, but then I figured it resembles military attire to some degree, so in a way it makes sense, though I don't like to think of Olympic athletes being presented the same way.  Then I found out that they were made in China, which was shaming.  For what it was worth, though, they were cool berets.

Michael Phelps, of course, couldn't afford to walk, as well as other swimmers and gymnasts.

Hey, Romney, great to see you there.  I never thanked you for the 2002 Salt Lake City Winder Olympics.

United Kingdom:
At first I noticed their white uniforms, which looked fitting, and they were basically what I was expecting from America, but then I was blown away by their sheer numbers.  Who knew that such a small country could send in so many?  It was like a mass of people, like a dozen countries put together.  Then they were wearing all white with gold highlights and moving through the masses of other countries wearing darker colors.

Merida

Dear Reader,
One of the greatest things about science fiction is that it presents the reader with extreme ends begs to ask questions about them, and through these questions they explore deeper questions about life itself.  One of science fiction's signature elements, robots with artificial intelligence, might seem like a pitch removed from the reality of our everyday lives, but the presence of these themes has served the purpose of altering the very way we see the world.  Science fiction has intensely and extensively explored what it means to be human more than any other genre, and through its storytelling has isolated archetypal questions in new and thought provoking ways.

I will be using Socratic Method now to consider the soul in this entry, and most of my questions will have a science fiction basis.  That is because I wish to dive into these new angles and gain a perspective that is consistent with all the different "what ifs" that could theoretically happen.  It shows us what governing philosophies stay true no matter what variables are thrown their way.

But enough of my explaining.  Onto the questions:

1.  If you teleport Star Trek style by disassembling your body and then reassembling an identical model elsewhere, is the recreated mass really you?

2.  What if you didn't destroy yourself and just created a copy elsewhere?

3.  You are atomized in a teleportation beam, but you are reassembled using the exact same atoms.  Are you still you?

4.  You are declared clinically dead in the emergency room, but doctors bring you back to life a minute later.  Are you still you? (Once upon a time this would have counted as science fiction.)

5.  Let us say that there is a psychic stone.  This psychic stone emanates a thought.  Let's just say that it's a contemplation on freedom.  It is not a bit a data.  It is an actual thought.  Mind Readers could probe it and actually feel the thought.  The rock is actually thinking.  Does it have a soul?

6.  A satellite is fitted with psychic technology so that it transmits a thought.  Humans on the earth below will have the thought implanted in their heads.  The thought exists, but it isn't attached to a body.  Is the thought a soul?

7.  A person can read minds and he/she has his/her mind filled with the thoughts of other people.  Their thoughts legitimately become the thoughts of the mind reader just as much as his/her own.  Does this person still have a will of his/her own?

8.  You're a psychic with the power to control minds.  When is it okay to use this power?  What does this say about your beliefs on what it means to be a person?

9.  You're a psychic with the power to read minds.  When is it okay to use this power?  What does this say about your beliefs on what it means to be a person?

10.  You split in two like a starfish and become to people.  Which person is the real you?  Is the other person you?

11.  You're a Timelord of Gallifrey, and you regenerate into a new body and have a new personality.  Little to nothing is the same.  Are you still you?

12.  You split in two.  Both versions regenerate like Doctor Who into random separate personalities soon thereafter.  Do you really exist anymore?

13.  You travel back in time (having found a loophole that takes paradoxes out of the equation) and prevent a Terminator from assassinating you.  In the process, you see your life change from what it once was.  That autobiographical book series or song you wrote that meant everything to you now means nothing, because your life as you knew it never happened.  Is the person you saved still you?  Are you both the same person?

14.  In the same situation as question #13, does your soul exist in two places at once?  Is/Are there two of your soul/s?  Should I say "is" or "are"?  Do you two have two separate souls?

15.  You go back in time and meet your mother while she's pregnant with you.  You take her back in time or teleport with her and put her someplace where your life will be drastically different starting at birth.  Is that baby you?

16.  Is it possible for your soul to be in two different bodies and thinking two different sets of thoughts at once?  What does it say about your soul if you disagree with yourself?

17.  Could the Transcendentalist idea of an "oversoul" be true, then?

18.  You visit an alternate dimension and encounter yourself.  The other version of yourself has lived almost exactly the same life, thought and felt almost exactly the same things, except he/she's the opposite gender (that's a one chromosome difference).  Is that person you?

19.  What is the relationship between you and your opposite sex counterpart?

20.  What if you two shared a psychic link and felt less like two people and more like one person divided between two minds?  Or would it be "one and a half person"?  But anyways, what are your thoughts on that?

21.  You die, and the next thing you know you're a fetus ready to be reborn.  When you're born you find out that you're a baby of the opposite gender of what you were in your past life.  How different do you feel?

22.  Regarding Question #21, do you think of yourself as your old gender, your new gender, a combination of both, or do you not think of yourself in terms of gender anymore?

23.  Do you begin to forget your past life over time?

24.  What happens when this cycle is repeated many times?

25.  Let's say your soul mate died and went through the same process.  Do you still love him/her?  Are you still going to marry him/her?  What are your general thought on the matter?

Sincerely,
Monosmith

Before I post anything, I'd like to say that I'm not trying to be controversial with this list, nor am I trying to define anything.  I so much as mentioned the list to my mother and she didn't want to read my thoughts because she thought I was trying to come up with some unnatural structure for relationships.  I was not trying to accomplish that with this list, nor am I trying to explain exactly what it is I expect in a relationship.  However, this list was fun to write since it put me into the mindset of what to do in a healthy and constructive relationship, and it allows me to reflect on what I value.  The general subject itself has also formed some interesting conversations.  It's a list of ideas, not an agenda of set standards.  Again, I have no intentions of constructing artificial relationships.

Unfortunately, points 46-53 were all religious, and I know that I want to avoid anything controversial as far as this blog entry is concerned.  The point is not to make a strong statement or to start a confrontation, but hopefully to just throw some ideas out there with a positive attitude that some people might find interesting.  So the last few items on the list were removed, save for #50.

53 Things a Couple Should Do Before Their First Kiss

1.    Go shopping for groceries.  Stay on budget and try to give a humorous review of every item in the store (works best in small stores).  Use the food to cook a meal for one of your families.
2.   Work together to build someone else up, because it’s not just about you.
3.   Catch fireflies.
4.   Watch fireworks and play with fireworks.
5.   Find discarded recyclable items until you fill a bag.
6.   Mow a lawn.
7.   Climb a tree.
8.   Write a long poem.
9.   Put a puzzle together.
10.   Watch the news and argue with the news commentators.
11.Roast marshmallows over a campfire.  Stay up until late at night, then lie on your backs and gaze at the stars.
12.   Fly a kite and observe the shapes of the clouds.
13.   Visit the library and talk about books.
14.   Visit an art gallery.  Try to interpret the more abstract art.
15.   Play with a dog.  Or dogs.
16.   Spend time on top of a roof.  Fiddle is optional.
17.   Draw on the sidewalk with chalk.
18.   Make a big sand castle.
19.   Go to a place where voices resonate well and sing your hearts out.
20.  Attend a concert.
21.   Hike on a trail neither has been down before.  If you’ve been through all the trails in the local parks, make your own trail by walking through the woods.  It’s lovely during autumn.
22.  Go for a walk dressed as someone else but act normal.  This does not count on Halloween.
23.  Dress up on Halloween.
24.  Rake the leaves off someone’s yard for free.
25.  Visit the elderly at a retirement home.
26.  Help raise public awareness of an obscure or ignored cause (such as spending time at retirement homes).
27.  Feed birds bread.
28.  Do homework together.  If you get done too soon, help someone else with their homework.
29.  Play a game you’re both good at.  This cannot include video games.
30.  Play a board game you both enjoy.
31.   Try new foods you don’t like.
32.  Make fools of yourselves doing something neither of you are good at.
33.  Find out your own talents and try to teach them to each other (or at least try).
34.  Play card games, and then try to invent a new one.  After mastering it, teach it to your families.
35.  Decorate a Christmas tree.
36.  Go Christmas caroling.
37.  Shovel your driveways and make snow forts.
38.  Climb snow piles at the local wintertime snow pile dump, and if it’s something you both enjoy you can go sledding.
39.  Use up a camera taking beautiful pictures of nature.
40.Fix something broken.
41.   Clean a messy room (or rooms).
42.  Enjoy the company of other friends.
43.  Entertain little kids.
44.Make a cake.
45.  When you’re both sad, cry.
46.Go on a mission trip.
...
50.  Make a large donation to charity.

Your Honor,
Emperor Kraggh

G.I. Joe got in a report that a Cobra spy had been caught.  "We're gonna make him squeal", he thought.  He had close connections with the Cobra leader guy, and he had information that could save the world.

"Sir," one of his colleagues said.  "We've tried everything.  He won't talk."

Joa's eyes widened and he ran a bewildered hand through his hair.  He was hoping it wouldn't come to this.  He really was.  He was about to suggest completely inhuman measures that no man should have impressed upon them.  He pulled out of his pocket a sheet of paper with a list of last resort means of torture.  It read:

1. Play "Achy Breaky Heart" a million times.
2. Ask them to explain the ending to "The Matrix: Revolutions."
3. Take pictures of him in pink bunny pajamas and show all his friends.
4. Feed him school lunches.
5. Have Michael Phelps "shun" him.
6. Chuck Norris.
7. Threaten to hand him over to his mother-in-law.
8. Have an "Aunt Bertha" hug and kiss him.
9. Lock him up with Tom Cruise.
10. Have an opera singer named Groomhilda sit on him.
11. Force him to watch that stupid G.I. Joe movie.
12. Force him to watch the Teletubbies, too.
13. Try to teach him how to play "Rock, Papers, Scissors, Lizard, Spock."
14. Read the last Series of Unfortunate Events book to him.
15. Send him to Ferris Beuler's Government class.
16. Busy Server
17. Peeling Onions
18. Tickling
19. Unpoppable Bubble Wrap
20. Sudoku Rubik's Cube

Joe sighed.  "Trust me, he'll talk."

(no political statements intended)

1. Bubble Wrap
2. The Hamster Dance
3. Spock's smile
4. A jock accidentally lighting fireworks in his pocket
5. The fresh smell of manure
6. Texas
7. bonesiii
8. Herbie's Autograph (for real!)
9. S'mores
10. Another sheet of bubble wrap

Your Honor,
Emperor Kraggh

1. Michael Phelps
2. Staying behind after a ballgame and nicking the expensive but left behind souvenir cups for free
3. Spock with a beard
4. Small puppy.  Big eyes.
5. If only Arnold could have been in "Terminator Salvation"...
6. Variations of that old "dumb people always say no" joke
7. Cookies.  With milk!
8. Comic strips about hopeless nerds
9. Growing taller than your parents
10. A girl wearing a Twins jersey

Your Honor,
Emperor Kraggh