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Since I do not give away the names of people I know on the internet, the subject of this entry will be called Monica Scarlet.When I was in fifth and sixth grade, my father made me play soccer in the spring. When ended up was that he got frustrated with me all the time because I didn't get "in the zone" like some of the other jocks playing. I, in turn, got frustrated with him also, both just because he made me do something I wasn't interested in and because of his constant pestering criticisms from the sidelines. In the end, he would usually get very angry and yell at me. Not in public, though. He waited until we were in the truck and driving home. Sometimes he would get fierce enough to scare my sister.
Meanwhile, the team itself sucked. Both years, the teams that I were on were filled with people who I didn't know. They didn't have space in their social circles for me. That's how things worked out for me at that time in my life. I had nowhere to retreat to accept for the game, which was theirs. So basically, nobody had any interest in me.
Accept for Monica.
Miss Scarlet happened to be on the same team as me for both years. She was the only person who would listen to me. It was very touching. Definitely, it was the main thing I looked forward to every afternoon I had to play soccer. It was the second reason I wanted to play defense. The first reason was because I didn't have to run around as much. The second reason is obvious.
Well, that's how I knew her. I never talked much to her afterwords. Of course, I learned a bit about her from the multiple times she has been in the newspaper (math club, musician, singer, great actress, and overall genius), along with the fact that she is, most importantly, really nice. I never actually learned much about her from direct communication with Miss Scarlet herself, though. Yet, I always remember her and I get a fluttering feeling of comfort whenever I see her, as well as getting quite uneasy. I always think "I'd really like to be friends" whenever I see her. It seems that when someone is special once, they are special always.
Of course, then there's the fact that she's a girl. A cute one. That's why I am uneasy. Whenever I want to talk to a significant girl I can't help but worrying that I might be as creepy as Edward Cullen. If you are a die hard fan of Twilight or just simply don't know what I am talking about, look up "Buffy vs. Edward Cullen" on Google and click the first result. You'll see what I am talking about. I don't want to pass off as one of those disturbing guys.
So wait, where do my feeling lie? What do I want? Well...I really appreciate someone for being a very sweet person. Sometimes I need a friend who I can tell how I feel. In my head I see her as ideal. I really appreciate her.
Alas, we do not live in an ideal world. Heck, I even just got done reading the penultimate Pendragon book, and it's a core philosophy of the main character. I am paranoid. We don't go to the same school. I feel like a creep for even thinking about her.
*sigh*
Your Honor,
Emperor Kraggh
