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Posted by !JOHN CENA! , Apr 25 2011 · 39 views

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Alright, hey, check this out.

I have an issue I want to talk about.  Maybe it's something that hasn't come up recently.  Maybe it's something that the mods are pulling their hair out over and telling people to let it drop.  Whatever the issue is, it's like a live wire.   You simply mention it and people are at each others throats.  People don't know this mainly because it doesn't get mentioned often, but dropping a bombshell issue like that could feasibly considered trolling.  But it won't stop me.  I'll post this entry no matter what.

Now I need to decide on a modus operandi.  Maybe I'll be passive aggressive.  Delicately, or perhaps not so delicately, skirting around the issue.  Make a vague reference to it.  "The recent hot topic on BZP is..."  or perhaps if you wanted to be more direct you could say "The content in people's signatures..."  or "The Staff on BZP are..."  Go ahead.  Fill in the blanks.  But perhaps I'll be more brash.  Drop the passive and skip right to the aggressive.  Name drop.  Skip words like 'offensive' and go straight to more potent ones like 'disgust.'  I dunno, I'm just making this up as I go along.

But whoa!  Slow up Daniel-San.  Before you can go on the offensive, you need to learn balance.  Good balance, good troll entry.  Bad balance, pack up and go home.  Your balance will be in your topic of choice.  You pick a good topic, you'll be sure to troll people.  Bad topic, and either no one will bite or the staff will be on you so fast you'll wonder where your proto went.  Here are some of the classic issues.  Take heed.  While potent, these topics have been cycled through so often that most staff will recognize them for what they are.  Use at your own risk.  The common issues include: sexuality, sexism, the legitimacy of certain kinds of art and music, bullies, anime, and the impact of neo-western cultural imperialism on Japan.

But wait, there's more.  I'm like the Billy Mays of bad blog entries, and I'm here to tell you about our latest offer.  Call now, and I'll throw in my "Lock It And Drop It" mini-booklet absolutely free, just pay separate shipping and handling.  The 'Lock It And Drop It" technique is your crane kick.  If you can do it right, there's no defense. It's the ultimate passive aggressive method. In this informative booklet, I'll give you my fool proof guide on how to lock entries and then drop 'em into the blogs for maximum effectiveness.

Now then, so you've got your perfectly crafted post, topic, or blog entry.  Perfectly designed to incite the most trouble.  One post.  One flame war.  Before you hit that post button, there's one last step you need to do.  It's the most crucial one, and if you goof this one up then you're done for.  Here's what you do.

You move your cursor over to the little red x in the top right hand corner of your browser and click it.  Exit out, and don't post it.  Trust me, your proto will thank you later.  So will the staff.

I thought about locking it as per the 'Lock It And Drop It' technique, but I figure I could get some more out of this by keeping it open and answering questions in a vague, mysterious, and passive agressive manner that will infuriate just about everyone.






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Roxy Lalonde
Apr 24 2011 11:18 PM
and I will proclaim my love for you and this entry in a vague, mysterious, and passive sexy manner that will excite just about everyone
I, for one, approve of this vague, mysterious, and passive aggressive entry!
I am a bloggie and I approve of this entry.


I'm not sure if that is for this blog entry, or this blog...

All I can say is...


(Take it as a Blog Approval, too if you want...)
I went away for the weekend. I came back and BZP made me what.

This is the Tylenol, right here.
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Half a Cup of EW
Apr 25 2011 12:55 PM
I had to read this four times before I understood what you were saying. rolleyes.gif
One thing I want to say- saying something against the rules or controversial in a blogpost and locking the entry does not get you off the hook. I don't know who got the idea that it was okay, but I will still draft those entries so fast you'll wonder if I moonlight as the Flash. If it's not allowed to be discussed, you can't mention it, period. Stop making entries like that and locking them- you're still breaking the rules.
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Princess Grr
Apr 25 2011 04:32 PM
QUOTE(DeeVee @ Apr 25 2011, 04:34 PM)
One thing I want to say- saying something against the rules or controversial in a blogpost and locking the entry does not get you off the hook. I don't know who got the idea that it was okay, but I will still draft those entries so fast you'll wonder if I moonlight as the Flash. If it's not allowed to be discussed, you can't mention it, period. Stop making entries like that and locking them- you're still breaking the rules.

Yeah, that's kind of behaviour is what Shane is speaking against here, unless I've wildly misinterpreted. He's encouraging people who want to post-and-lock something controversial to close their browser instead, and not post it at all.

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