Look, I tried to explain this a few months ago. It didn't end well, you can see that from my proto. But look, let me reiterate my main point. Please, everyone, take a break from fighting. Is it really worth the argument? When you see someone post about the hardships they face, don't argue about whether not you "agree" with them. Acknowledge the fact that they actually live a hard life. Be empathetic, try to put yourself in their shoes. The best thing you can do is love them. If you are willing to love, people will see it. BZPower is a place where we should lift others up regardless of our views. I realize BZPower is not the place to share your views anyways. Telling someone you disagree with them even though you respect them does not make things any better. I made the mistake of using those words, and they took me places I didn't want to go. The best way to respect someone is to love them for who they are, even if you don't like who they are. If you don't like who someone is, you have no right to change them. If you really don't like someone for who they are, stay away from them, and save them the hurtful words, even if you don't find them hurtful. And most of all, if you don't like who someone is, delve deep into the core of your heart, and fix whatever is keeping you from loving everyone, because people are people, and who they are is what defines them.
Looking back at some of the things I said in the past, I realize the pain I may have caused. I realize that what I said was not loving, even though I felt like I was in the right. If I have ever offended you, yes, you, I am deeply sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I still want you to hear my apology so that you know I care. A word I would like to give everyone: you are special, you are beautiful, you are wonderful. Don't ever forget this, even when people say otherwise.
Aug 15 2013
Have you ever had that feeling, when you lose something you thought you loved, but you realize that love wasn't really what you had for it, and yet you still somehow have this feeling, this unforgettable feeling, that you lost something that could have been? For a year, I lied to myself, I denied the truth that was right before my eyes. I thought what I had was love, but was it really? Whether I felt love or not, it all ended. It wasn't my choice, it was "its" choice, or should I say "her"?
I am over the love. I am over denying this love I didn't really even have. But somehow, someway these ideas keep on popping right back into my head. I find myself asking whether I made the right choice, or if I lost something that could have been mine; if I lost her. I find myself asking why I have this feeling, this unforgettable feeling, of loneliness and remorse. I somehow can't let go of the past that I once lived, yet I have let go. I can't explain how this could even be possible. It's a feeling that is hard to grasp. This feeling needs to go. And while life is easier, and life moves on, I still can't shake off this feeling. "GO! Leave me. I can't deal with you any more," I may plea, but it keeps coming back.
I am sick of this feeling. I wish it to leave, but it's not as simple as a wish. It takes time. And as time goes on, I will learn to forget. Forget the memories I once shared with her, the good times and the bad, the love that wasn't really there. Someday, it will all be a haze. And someday, I will find true love, someone who is meant for me, someone I will love unconditionally, someone who will love me unconditionally, someone so wonderful, that I can not even explain it with words. And that is why I will forget. Because I know there is someone else out there, who I will one day know and love. And years from now, when I find her, I will look back and wonder how I ever could have fell for anyone different than her. So now, as I write this entry, I try, and try hard I do, to forget. Because something extraordinary is waiting for me, and this baggage, this hazy story is but a fraction of the blessings to come.
Gonna be gone for a week on a Missions Trip. I'll be leading a piano class for three days at a camp, which will be fun. But anyways, see you guys soon. I'll check BZP periodically when I can, but I'll be inactive for at least four of the days I'm there.
Name: Samuel McDowell Location: Moscow, Russia Age: 14 Religion: Christianity Denomination: Southern Baptist Political Party: I lean towards the Conservative and Republican Parties Occupation: Musician Interests: Music, Graphical artwork, Technological subjects, Gaming, Friends, Family, and more. Favorite food: Pizza Favorite color: Green Member Since: 26-January 10
Emerging Stone Champion
26-January 10: Account approval
13-January 12: +1 From Windrider for being helpful around the forums
30-July 12: +1 From Black Six for help in the Q&A Forum and reporting
29-June 13: -1 From Black Six for inappropriate involvement in a Blog Entry