74
Blogarithm
First Place (eight votes) ...
Lego Obsessionist!
Second Place (three votes) ...
LewaLew!
What!? How'd you--!? Oh, well, you may have made it past my plunger locks, the double plunger locks, the laser locks, the electric locks, and the motorized locks, made it past all of my guards and sentries, and broken every BZP rule in the book, but YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT PAST MY TOPIC LOCKS! Why? BECAUSE YOU CAN'T! I am the Evil
---------------
Congratulations to the winners and to all the entrants. Lego Obsessionist's image will be used first, followed by LewaLew's, and then any runners-up I find funny.
Oh no, this isn't over yet.
Two entries tied at the end of the final poll - so now it's time for the tiebreaker poll.
Poll closes on Saturday, October 6th at 11:59 Eastern.
Entry One:
Entry Two:
What!? How'd you--!? Oh, well, you may have made it past my plunger locks, the double plunger locks, the laser locks, the electric locks, and the motorized locks, made it past all of my guards and sentries, and broken every BZP rule in the book, but YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT PAST MY TOPIC LOCKS! Why? BECAUSE YOU CAN'T! I am the Evil
Here it is, folks. The moment you've all been waiting for. The Final Poll of Blogarithm Contest #6.
Let's get to it.
Polling ends on Thursday, October 4th at 11:59 PM Eastern.
Since a lot of entries were knotted up at three, I bent the rules a bit to allow an extra wild-card to slip in. I didn't want to have to choose - heck, that's what you guys are for!
Entry One:
There once was a Post-it-here topic.
When Sumi saw it, he became catatonic
In reaction to this,
He told the poster - "tsk tsk"
And closed that rule-breaking topic.
Entry Two:
TOPICWATCH!
*insert quote of rule-breaking post*
We've got eyes on the suspect*
WAIT is that *insert broken rule*
SUSPECT IS ARMED AND DANGEROUS
GO GO GO
Don't let it get away!
SUSPECT APPREHENDED. TOPIC CLOSED.
Entry Three:
No. When members give you topics, don't make them pinned. Make them take the topics back! Get mad! I don't want your rule breaking, what am I supposed to do with that? Demand to see their manager! Make them rue the day it thought it could give Sumiki rule breaking topics! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your topic down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that BURNS YOUR TOPIC DOWN!
Entry Four:
There are a thousand ways I could close this topic right now. And 941 of them hurt.
Topic closed.
Entry Five:
Some people think that their topic closings need to be funny. But, do you know what I say?
Bananas.
Topic closed, goodnight BZPower.
Entry Six:
There appears to be a large lack of Sumiki and dreaming of farm animals in this topic. Thus I must close it.
Topic Closed
Entry Seven:
SUMIKI Level 42
VERSUS
TOPIC Level 40
HIT!
>Use Disk
>Ko-Metru (L2,9/10UP)
STRONG ATTACK!
HIT!
>Use Mask
>Mask of Topic-Closing
STUNNED!
Victory!
Experience Gained
134
Entry Eight:
This was a failure.
I'm making a note here: TOPIC CLOSED!
It's hard to overstate your embarrassment.
BZPower Staff
We do what we must,
Because we can.
For the good of all of us,
(Except the ones who are banned)
But there's no sense crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying 'til you topics don't break
All the BZPower Rules,
And you'll feel really cool,
And maybe your topics won't be closed.
But for now... topic closed!
Entry Nine:
Entry Ten:
TOPIC CLOSING STYLE.
TOP
TOP TOP
TOPIC CLOSING STYLE.
Entry Eleven:
What!? How'd you--!? Oh, well, you may have made it past my plunger locks, the double plunger locks, the laser locks, the electric locks, and the motorized locks, made it past all of my guards and sentries, and broken every BZP rule in the book, but YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT PAST MY TOPIC LOCKS! Why? BECAUSE YOU CAN'T! I am the Evil
While in weeks past I've been less attentive to such forgetfulness, this is the week I actually feel pretty bad about it.
So, to make up for it, here's a picture of Meiko with panda-fez-glasses swag:
You're welcome, BZPower.
There were an astounding number of entries to Blogarithm Contest #6. As such, I have not gone to the trouble of randomizing the entries. The twenty-one text entries will be equally split among three polls (teal, orange, and purple), while the entries that contain images have their own poll (blue) with eleven entries.
You may pick two entries from the first three polls, and you may pick three from the last poll. An overall wild-card will advance to the final poll as well.
Voting ends on Sunday, September 30th at 11:59 PM Eastern.
-------------------------------------------
Preliminary Poll Teal
Entry One:
There once was a Post-it-here topic.
When Sumi saw it, he became catatonic
In reaction to this,
He told the poster - "tsk tsk"
And closed that rule-breaking topic.
Entry Two:
TOPIC EXTERMINATED
Entry Three:
Roses are red.
Lilies are sometimes yellow.
This topic breaks the rules.
So it will be closed instead of slapping you silly, my fellow.
Entry Four:
time for your topic to sleep with the fishes and dream of farm animals
Entry Five:
"Hello my name is
Entry Six:
For I have known them all already, known them all-
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?
Topic closed.
Entry Seven:
TOPICWATCH!
*insert quote of rule-breaking post*
We've got eyes on the suspect*
WAIT is that *insert broken rule*
SUSPECT IS ARMED AND DANGEROUS
GO GO GO
Don't let it get away!
SUSPECT APPREHENDED. TOPIC CLOSED.
-------------------------------------------
Preliminary Poll Orange
Entry One:
No. When members give you topics, don't make them pinned. Make them take the topics back! Get mad! I don't want your rule breaking, what am I supposed to do with that? Demand to see their manager! Make them rue the day it thought it could give Sumiki rule breaking topics! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your topic down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that BURNS YOUR TOPIC DOWN!
Entry Two:
HALT! This topic breaks a BZP rule! It is unacceptable and thus, will be closed. If you have a problem with it, TOO BAD!
Entry Three:
Computer, Activate Protocol 11.
Passcode: Wayne
Topic Blasted Sky-High
Entry Four:
Now, while I
That said, topic closed.
Entry Five:
wutz up wit dis topik its braking da bzp rullz
topik klosed
Entry Six:
There are a thousand ways I could close this topic right now. And 941 of them hurt.
Topic closed.
Entry Seven:
Some people think that their topic closings need to be funny. But, do you know what I say?
Bananas.
Topic closed, goodnight BZPower.
-------------------------------------------
Preliminary Poll Purple
Entry One:
Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse
When you're chewin' on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle!
And this'll help things turn out for the best! And…
Always look on the bright side of life!
*whistling*
In other words, don't let this topic closing get to you. It was an honest mistake.
Topic Closed
Entry Two:
There appears to be a large lack of Sumiki and dreaming of farm animals in this topic. Thus I must close it.
Topic Closed
Entry Three:
SUMIKI Level 42
VERSUS
TOPIC Level 40
HIT!
>Use Disk
>Ko-Metru (L2,9/10UP)
STRONG ATTACK!
HIT!
>Use Mask
>Mask of Topic-Closing
STUNNED!
Victory!
Experience Gained
134
Entry Four:
It's astounding.
Quality's fleeting.
Nub-ness. Takes its toll.
But read here closely.
Not for very much longer.
I've got to. Take control.
I REMEMBER. CLOSING A TOPIC.
POSTING. THOSE MOMENTS WHEN.
THE BLACK SIX WOULD HIRE ME.
AND THE DEEVEE WOULD BE CALLING.
LET'S CLOSE A TOPIC AGAAAAAIN.
LET'S CLOSE A TOPIC AGAAAAAIN.
Entry Five:
This was a failure.
I'm making a note here: TOPIC CLOSED!
It's hard to overstate your embarrassment.
BZPower Staff
We do what we must,
Because we can.
For the good of all of us,
(Except the ones who are banned)
But there's no sense crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying 'til you topics don't break
All the BZPower Rules,
And you'll feel really cool,
And maybe your topics won't be closed.
But for now... topic closed!
Entry Six:
I once locked a topic in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.
Topic sat on by an elephant in pajamas.
Entry Seven:
Hey man, this topic breaks the rules, which makes it uncool, and which makes me a fool if I let it live while it breaks said rules. So now I will do what I came here to do:
Topic closified.
-------------------------------------------
Preliminary Poll Blue
This is the image poll. Any text that relates/goes with the image will be in a quote above or below the link to the image.
Entry One
---
Entry Two
---
Entry Three
---
Entry Four
---
Entry Five
---
Entry Six
---
Entry Seven
"Don't break the rules! If you do, I will come to you with an AK47 and shoot you. Break the rules again, and I will shoot you. Topic closed."
---
Entry EightTOPIC CLOSING STYLE.
TOP
TOP TOP
TOPIC CLOSING STYLE.
---
Entry NineWhat!? How'd you--!? Oh, well, you may have made it past my plunger locks, the double plunger locks, the laser locks, the electric locks, and the motorized locks, made it past all of my guards and sentries, and broken every BZP rule in the book, but YOU'LL NEVER MAKE IT PAST MY TOPIC LOCKS! Why? BECAUSE YOU CAN'T! I am the Evil
Ogel, Sumiki, and I cannot be stopped!
---
Entry Ten
---
Entry Eleven
Life as a Forum Assistant certainly has its perks: namely, topic closing. It's kind of fun, though I've only closed one so far. If I assisted in Q&A, COT, or GD, I'd be able to close topics on a more frequent basis, but I'm not complaining.
Topic closing comes with a downside, though. Some FAs - like me - are expected to be funny, for some reason. Oh, sure, I could go with two- or three-word closing statements, but that's no fun at all, since they're used all the time by others. The clever and hilarious topic closings go down in BZPower history, right above famous staff name changes and right below inane spam topics.
So, your mission: Write up a topic closing post. Speech? Parody? Story? Nonsensical poetry? It's totally up to you. Post it as a comment here in this entry. The entries will then be divided and placed in polls, and whoever's entry wins will end up as an actual topic-closed post. You can enter as many times as you wish.
You have until September 26th, 2012 at 11:59 PM Eastern Time to submit entries - so what are you waiting for? Get writing!
A subplot involves Spock trying to play 3D chess with parakeets and shampoo bottles.
He's the lord of all strangeness. - Ignika: Nerd of Life
How awesome is Sumiki on a scale of 1 to 10? - Waffles
42. - Black Six
[He's] the king of wierd, the prince of practicality, the duke of durr! - Daiker
Sumiki is magic. - Cholie
Sumiki says, "Do I creeeeeeep you out?" Yes, he does. - Waffles
Sumiki is a nub. He's cool, but he's still a nub. - Ran Yakumo
"What is a Sumiki?" You may ask. But the answer to that is still unknown, even to the Sumiki itself. - Daiker
Ah, Sumiki. - Electric Turahk
LISTEN TO SUMIKI - Cholie
Sumiki is best snickerdoodle. - Takuma Nuva
BZPower = Sumiki + McSmeag + B6. And Hahli Husky. - Vorex
What's a Sumi? Does it taste good? - Janus
I would have thought Sumiki wanted to reincarnate as a farm animal. - Kraggh
EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH - Kakaru
Sumiki: the horse_ebooks of bzp - VampireBohrok
Everything relates to Sumiki. No really, everything. - Daiker
He's in worse mental condition than I thought. - Obsessionist
I'm just wondering why I'm looking at some cat dancing ... I suppose the answer would simply be "Sumiki." - Brickeens
I was like a beast, screaming through the mind of Sumiki at the speed of sound. I.. I wasn't strong enough to stop myself. What I saw was the end of infinity, through which one can see the beginning of time, and I will never be the same. - Portalfig
My Little Content Block
Sumiki
Savage Rockslide Awakened
Group: Premier Forum Assistants
Posts: 10600-10700
Joined: 4-September 06
Premier: 9-October 06
FM: 20-February 12
FA: 29-August 12
Member No.: 45057
26th All-Time Poster
2nd All-Time PFA Poster
Cryoshell Album Winner
-=-
Account Approved
Lifetime Premier - Dimensioneer
Reports - Toaraga - 12-January 09
EotS Continues News Article - Black Six - 10-February 09 
BBC Reports/NMQ&A help - Than the Moa - 11-February 09
-=-
8th Most Commented Blog
5th Most Viewed Blog
14th Most Entries
Every week, I post a new "Tuesday Tablescrap", a small MOC not worthy of a topic, but something to post and inspire me to build more.
10/25/11 - Duplo Flower
11/1/11 - Slender Man and Masky
11/8/11 - Bizarre Black Spaceship
11/15/11 - 2001 Monolith
11/22/11 - My Little Slizer 50
11/29/11 - Punching Bag
12/6/11 - Thunder and Escorts
12/13/11 - Three Concepts
12/20/11 - Kaxium Alternate
12/27/11 - None (Christmas Break)
1/10/12 - None
1/17/12 - Volant
1/24/12 - Nidman's Chute Shoop Shop
1/31/12 - None (Brickshelf down)
2/7/12 - None
2/14/12 - Atomic Lime
2/21/12 - Spearhead
2/28/12 - Glatorian Kahi
3/6/12 - Seeker
3/13/12 - Skyscraper
3/20/12 - Microphone
3/27/12 - Toa Vultraz
4/3/12 - Flammenwerferjüngeres
4/10/12 - Umbrella
4/17/12 - Lime Beetle
4/24/12 - Special - Flame Sculpture
5/1/12 - None (BZPower down)
5/8/12 - Purple Ninja
5/15/12 - The Original Sumiki
5/22/12 - 7/24/12 - None
7/31/12 - Tahu
8/7/12 - None (BrickFair)
8/14/12 - Special - Chess Set
8/21/12 - Heavily Armored Wasp
8/28/12 - Spaceship Drill
9/4/12 - Scuba Vehicle
9/11/12 - Orange Guy
9/18/12 - Strange Flying Thing
9/25/12 - Goblet
10/2/12 - None
10/9/12 - Aim .............................. Down
10/16/12 - Gold Bot
10/23/12 - Teal Mech
10/30/12 - Special - Teal Mech (#2)
11/6/12 - Bits and Pieces
11/13/12 - Two Spaceships
11/20/12 - TARDIS Interior
11/27/12 - Christmas Creep
12/4/12 - Toaraga
12/11/12 - Fireplace
12/18/12 - Abstract Duckling
12/25/12 - None (Christmas)
1/1/13 - Black Bot
1/8/13 - 1/22/13 - None
1/29/13 - Handheld Rhotuka Launcher
Formerly known as the Bring Back Teal Club, the Unused Colors Society is a club that serves to promote colors that are little-used or discontinued, such as teal, old purple, or metallic blue.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Leaders:
Sumiki
Waffles
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Members:
ChocolateFrogs
ToM Dracone
xccj
Uzmakikunai
Novek
Nukaya
Overlord
Kaymac
(((DARKNESS)))
lunaticCircuitry
-Toa Lhikevikk-
DeepFriedZombies
Dirk Strider
GUYUGKUYG
Toa Flappy
Lime Paradox
McSpit
RotationalBasis
Mesonak
chunkeh!
Toa Robert
The X
Nuparu574
Dave Strider
Akuna Toa of Sonics
Commander Helios
Popup2: The Camel
~Shadow Kurahk~
Luna
Rho
~System Of A Down~
Kohrak Kal17
Brickeens
Jackson Lake
Thunder on the Mountain
McBobby
Ackar's Follower
Rahkashi
Bitter Cold
Tobi
Vinylstep
Nidman
Doc Scratch
Mendicant Bias
Eyru
Kagha
Darth Eryzeth
Millennium
Tschurtlschnatchen
kopakakid
Toa of Vahi
~Legoman~
noob
Makuta GigaDon
WORT WORT WORT
~Toa Drokonas~
Kwydjybo
Progenitus Worldsoul
Toa Kuhrii Avohkii
-Morgoth-
Bohrok Kal
Toa Neya 2011 Edition
~prisma son of dawn~
Nidhikiandco
.: WoLVeRINe :.
Zokau
DragonxFlutter
Lebon
ChocoLvr13
Uzumakikunai
Dokuma
Carnifex
Xetra
Metrongana
Alternate Velika
HercuLesss
Absol'd
SquishyFrog
Ynot
qUESTIE
SonicBOOM XS
Tavakai
Schnee 1
Brickeens (again!?)
Kakaru
The Great Forgetter
Kylus
Thomas the Tank Engine
Roablin
Aho-Chan
Jonah Falcon
~MatoroIgnika~
Vocals
Oh my miru
Element lord Of Milk.
e=mc^2
Lexuk Toa Of Insanity
Michael J. Caboose
GlatorianJaller
knuckles chaotix
The Bean
Kyronex
Lord Kaitan de Storms
Jaicho
Toa of Dancing
/Got_Your_6/
ZamorBob
Daiker
Toa Arzaki
The Oncoming Storm
Darkrylles
Lego Obsessionist
Toa of Pumpkin
christo1096
Unit#phntk#1
Teal Armada
Toa Zehvor Blackout
Mr. M
Chibinuva
Vohon
Mylo Xyloto
Lord of Ice
Celu
Architect
Rix
.:ENCRYPTION:.
~~Zarkan~~
TornadoToad
Fantasia
Gamzee Makara
Zarayna: The Quiet Light
Paleo
Xaeraz
Vorex: Keeper of Time
Roablin
Toa of Smooth Jazz
fishers64
Zeene
Dual Matrix
Click to join!
Recent Comments
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The Great American Road Trip II - 2 - MackinactionVampireBohrok - May 17 2013 01:58 PM -
The Great American Road Trip II - 2 - MackinactionSumiki - May 17 2013 06:19 AM -
The Great American Road Trip II - 2 - MackinactionTakuma Nuva - May 16 2013 11:06 PM -
The Great American Road Trip II - 2 - MackinactionFlaredrick: Forgotten One - May 16 2013 11:04 PM -
The Great American Road Trip II - 1 - On the Road AgainObsessionist - May 16 2013 04:00 PM
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If you learn one thing in life, learn this:
You should never, ever question why demons would possess a soda.
