Team J.A.F.

I had a ton of stuff to do today.

• I need to do a bunch of write-ups for my Eagle Project, like recruiting scouts to come so it actualls gets done.  
• I have about two summer books to read before school starts on Wednesday (Yeah, you try reading The World Is Flat and see how long it takes you to doze off).
• My folks were also cleaning up the garage, something which I should've done.  
• I also have about two unfinished epics on BZP that I should update.

And what did I do all day?  I lurked on BZPower, looking for some random topic to post in, and got nothing whatsoever done.  It's my last weekend before the school year srtats, and I procrastinated the whole time on BZP.

Yeah, that's a bright sign for my future school year.  Anyway, as things begin to blow up in my face, I sign off.

Yeah, I never would've done this with my permit... anyway, while running erends for my Eagle Project (which didn't really help it in the end anyways) I stoped by Barns And Nobles... and they had Legacy of Evil!  It took me months to locate the store that had Power Play, but I got my book just after reading about the news update on BZPower... pretty cool.

Yeah, the book is interesting as well, but seeing how I don't think I can comment on it on BZP yet, I'll hold off my review.

Whew, this Boy Scout Eagle Project business is tougher than I thought.  I guess that's why there are far fewer Eagles than Scouts...

Anyway, what I'm finding tough is the donations part.  I have to write letters, look professional, and ask for some free supplies to help build stuff for my project.  And many businesses seem determined not to donate more than they have to...

Not that I've actually done anything yet.  I've organized meetings and written letters.  I haven't actually gone to a meeting yet... I’m kind of nervous.

What really annoys me is that this is a lot like how real life will be like.  How annoying.    I've decided that I want to stay a kid forever... it sure beats being responsible, even if I can drive...

I was just lucky to get another Toa Inika now.  I had to make a deal with my little (but apparenlty richer) sister... I driver her places for a couple of months, and she helps me buy a Toa.  I think that tips me over into the "Obsessed" section of the Bionicle fans, but oh well...

Kongu is just like Hewkii.  The color sceme could be better, but I do prefer the body and feet of Kongu over the ones of Hewkii.  The weapon is awesome with the blue lights, and the blue zamour is nifty too.

But, I do have a problem with him.  Allow me to shout...

HIS ARMS ARE TOO LONG!

Seriously.  Held down, they reach to his knees, which can't be right.  With his arm and crossbow fully extended, it is longer than he is tall!  I thought Hewkii's arms were bad... Kongu's are insane!  I suppose Jaller's won't be much better either.  Plus, I can't see how to fix it.  Making the upper shoulder joints shorter won't work with the armor... I think the body should probably be longer.  The hunched over look worked for the Piraka, but the shorter body makes the Inika's arms toooooo long.

That and the head.  The Suletu is not the greatest replacement for Kongu's Miru, and its pretty ugly.  The eyes are large, though.  And if you follow the instructions, Kongu's head is hunched over on his body... I moved the connection up a bit to prevent him from slouching.

Well, between Kongu and Hewkii, I've seem much of what the Inika have to offer, piecewise (except for those translucent pieces).  They're both okay, but the arms are too long.  I will stand firm on that issue.  But the zamour launchers are great!  I combined Hewkii's and Kongu's magazines to store about seven of those spheres, and I had fun launching them.  I think those magazines will be the main motive to buy more Inika... that and those translucent pieces that I want.

This was my first comedy, and I can’t say that it’s very good or very bad.  Just… different.

Bio: Makuta is bored, so he decided to infect all the Toa.  He enslaves a Matoran named Nupari, and sets out to take control of Mata-Nui.  But the Toa have other things in mind… like collecting rare masks, playing board games, and skateboarding.

Thoughts:  Well, this comedy came back when review topics were allowed (But not before the 300 word rule).  I had a nice review topic opened, but then it got closed down randomly.    Anyway, the story itself is random enough.  I took many of the other aspects of Bionicle (Board games, collectables, skateboarders, and the whole Toa of Light mystery) and threw them into the story.  All the Toa get to be pretty crazy and all lack in intelligence, but I made Onua my stupid Toa (which was Pohatu in other comedies at the time, I believe).  There are some parts in there that I really do like.  For example, Lewa throwing aside a banana peal and Tahu slipping on it, Kopaka freezing Tahu  place, even though they’re after Lewa, and Tahu wondering about the title of the Chapter.  There were a few low humor jokes in there, but nothing too bad.

I even hit a couple of controversial topics (one without even knowing it).  First of all, I make a big point saying that Takanuva wasn’t anybody else (Onua called him Kapura, I believe).  And then, it turns out I was COMPLETELY WRONG!  Oh well… and then I touched on the fact that Lewa was not a Toa of the Jungle, but of Air, so he couldn’t really control vines and the such.  Didn’t help that he did that in the MOL…

There were problems.  My spelling was off (especially because I spelled the Matoran are Nupari the entire time… forgot the U.  The formatting was bad… but the emotions went well.  That, and the Spanish portion was all taken out of an online translator…

For a first comedy, it wasn’t that bad.  It didn’t break any rules, even if it lacked a bit in the humor department.  Anyway, it worked up towards an interesting sequel.

This morning, I am going to host a Boy Scout wood cut to act as a fundraiser for my Eagle Project.  I got really lucky… a tree fell down in our backyard, and it’s pretty big.  That makes for a lot of wood to cut and sell, and thus have money to fund my Eagle Project.  So all I need to do is some splitting, hauling, and selling, and then some people have firewood to burn in their fireplace, and I have some cash.  It works out for everybody.

Meanwhile, I am reading Jared Diamond’s book Collapse for school.  It’s a book about how a bunch of societies collapsed when they failed to solve their problems.  For example, the ancient societies of Easter Island and the Anasazi partially fell because they had cut down all their trees, and had thus damaged the environment too badly.  Plus, other places today are also cutting down too many trees, like in Haiti, Australia, and in the rainforests.  Diamond argues that something should be done to help manage our forests.

Its funny how these things work out.  I would like to consider myself pro-environment, but then I see myself profiting from damaging our forest.   While I would like to say that we should conserve on products made from depleting natural resources, I don’t necessarily practice it.  I use oil all the time, I use a lot of paper, and I build stuff out of wood.  My habits may not necessarily be conservative.

That’s something I kinda wonder about whenever I think about environmental damage.  Sure, I can complain and say that other people should be clearer.  But in the end, am I (and other people as well) willing to give up some creature comforts we have grown used to as First-World citizens in order to ensure that the environment remains clean and whole?

As for my woodcut, it really isn’t that bad.  The tree has fallen down, and we’re only taking one out, leaving plenty of others growing tall and possibly room for new ones to grow.  It’s just the general idea of profiting I wonder about.

The Lego Bionicle Story: Part 1-2,Part 3-4,Part 5

Gar, my worst story EVER!  Read on to understand why...

Bio: In the Bionicle world, the Great Beings has messed up, and the Toa were doomed.  They planned on sending help in the form of Throwbots to aid the Toa against their fight against Makuta and his Rahi, but they wouldn't arrive in time.  So they sent messages to humans, and a bunch went through the Bermuda Triangle and arrived on Mata-Nui.  There, a collection of humans, including Johnny Thunder, allies with the Toa, Turaga, and Matoran to help them defend the island.  Meanwhile, the evil Axillion (Thunder's nemesis) also discovers Mata-Nui and allies with Makuta.  So there is a massive Rahi battle in Le-Koro, where the humans help out a lot, and then the Slizers arrive, and begin to aid the Toa as they collect the last of their Kanohi.  It ends at Chapter 32, where I just gave up posting because nobody was interested.

Thoughts:  And I can tell why no one was interested… the story was badly written and overly complicated.  It was my second BZP epic, but I wrote it first, before I even discovered BZP.  It had so many problems in it.  I thought it was cool because it included a bunch of Mini-figure characters, Throwbot characters, and Bionicle characters.  Of the mini-figures (humans) they were my custom characters, who had names borrowed from Johnny Thunder themes and the Animorphs series.  They were also part of this weak storyline where Johnny Thunder was fighting against this evil mastermind named Axillion (named from Aximili from Animorphs).  It was badly described and kinda hard to follow, so obviously a new reader couldn’t really relate to something form my imagination.  The Throwbots weren’t as well thought out as they were in my newer Slizer epic, and the Toa’s personalities often differed from their official ones.  The main complaint I got was a gender mix-up with Kopaka… I just assumed that the white character was female and used him/her that way in the story.  Many people disagreed, and it took me a while to really get a grasp on Kopaka’s true personality.

The storyline itself wasn’t too great… everything was very simplistic.  The main enemies, the Rahi, were always described as showing up in numbers greater than any ever seen before.  That worked for the first few battles… but then it got outrageous when I used it again and again.  The battles, while cool in my mind, were weakly described in the story, and seemed to involve characters shooting guns or shouting out witty comments.  And all the dialogue was kinda featureless… I have certainly improved since this story.  Which is a good thing.

There were other problems… I posted the whole think single-spaced in the lowest sized font… I find it hard to read now, but I thought back then that the regular size made it too large!  I’m sure there were some days where I quadruple posted chapters (back before that one-chapter-a-day rule).  Plus, my story topic was always plagued with people posting it in rather than the review topic… I’m sure I got more posts there than in the review topic.  Being a newby, I didn’t completely understand the rules, and I’m sure I broke many (like posting 5 times in a row in my review topic).  This story, even more than The Final Alliance, threw me away from writing stories on BZP.  I started out writing expecting that everybody should be following me, the author, very closely, and love all my work.  Now I understand that’s not how reviewers work for newer epics.  If they like it, they’ll post… if they have nothing to say, then they won’t post.  If they have nothing to say but they post spam, then I get angry, and we all lose.

Well, that’s one story that I feel ashamed of.  It is my worst story I have ever posted on BZP (maybe not written… I have a few bad ones that will never see the light of day again).   So now that I’m done dissing it, you can either read some of it (LOL!) or think about checking out some of my other work that is so much better.  

Review A Lego Bionicle Story (Or Don't)

"This is a safety report concerning Di-Hydrogen Mon-Oxide.  Lawyers are calling for the abolishment of all Di-Hydrogen Mon-Oxide in the United States because of the immense threat it causes society (many drowning every year!)  People are advised to dispose of any local Di-Hydrogen Mon-Oxide right away.  Additionally, lawyers also wish to stop the Di-Hydrogen Mon-Oxide from sinking into the ground, accumulating Sodium Chloride, and then contaminating our oceans.  If something is not done right away, our world may be doomed!”






Haha.

This, or course, is a joke.  (Di-Hydrogen Mon-Oxide = H2O = Water)  My friends Jon and Alex and I discussed this at our last scout meeting, and it was too good for me to pass up.    It’s totally fake, but when told verbally, it sounds sophisticated.  So, either laugh or walk away now.  

I really wanted something that I can continuously post in this blog whenever I feel like it, so I came up with this new idea.  It’s my “Epics Report”.  It will likely leave me with plenty of stuff to post, and also plenty of writing for people to ignore.  We all become winners here.  

Anyway, in my years on BZP, I’ve mostly written up stuff.  I’ve tried to MOC and draw, but I’m no good at those.  I write pretty well, and I have my nice, big collection of stories to share across BZP.  Looking back, I’m amazed at all the work I’ve posted.  Some of it’s good, and some of it’s trash.  But there’s a lot of it, and I have some stuff to say on it.

So my “Epics Report” will allow me to comment on all my stories (epics, comedies, short stories) that I’ve written.  I’ll post a short Bio and then my thoughts on the story… stuff I’ve gathered after it’s all completed.  In some ways, maybe it’ll introduce newer people to my older work.  Then again… maybe it won’t.  It’ll also give me time to post some stuff on my made-up characters and some possible future stories that I might’ve written about (but gave up the idea).  All in all, maybe it’ll just give some Blog viewers something to read.  Who can tell?

Click to View Epic Reports

The Final Alliance

My first Epic ever on BZPower.  It was also an entry into Serious Story Contest #4 (and didn't place).  So here are my thoughts on it.

Bio: The Final Alliance takes place during the Kal saga.  It follows the Toa Nuva as the Kal successfully reawaken the Bahrag… but they awaken somebody else too… Makuta!  The Bahrag take their Bohrok swarms and threaten to demolish all of Mata-Nui, leaving behind six Matoran (Jala, Takua, Huki, Nuparu, Maku, and Hahli) fused as a Matoran-Nui, six Toa Nuva buried under a collapsed tunnel, and an angry Makuta, who is now determined to protect his brother’s island from the swarms.  Makuta, the Toa Nuva, and the Matoran-Nui make an alliance as they follow the Bohrok swarms and save every Matoran village on the island.  But can they stand against the might of the Bahrag?

Thoughts: This is a perfect example of a Newby epic.  First of all, the storyline is very simplistic and not well thought through, and secondly, I wrote the whole epic on BZP in 2003 without bothering to put it in MS Word (and thus is contains many spelling errors.)  As I said, the storyline is so basic that it embarrasses me.  The main characterization focuses on Makuta and his sudden change from evil to good (relatively… there was a personal reason for it.  If the island that he had poured his ‘soul’ into was destroyed, Makuta would go with it, and his brother likewise).  Makuta’s characterization was okay, but it hardly fit with the storyline (I started writing this before the comic on the Kal’s defeat came up.  It totally ignores the fact that Makuta released the Bohrok in the first place, making that seem like an unforeseen accident).  And that’s where the characterization ended.  I had plenty of characters… Toa Nuva, six Matoran, even the Bahrag.  But all the Nuva were portrayed as un-united… they were bickering through the whole story, and it wouldn’t fit their characters at all.  Tahu may be a hot-head, but if he was as hot-headed as he was in my story, I’d probably quit Bionicle…  I hardly went into the Matoran-Nui at all… they were stuck on the side the whole time!  (Which is okay… they were also the Matoran I used in Time Disruption, so I had my chance to characterize them).  And with the Bahrag… all I had them do was constantly repeat threats.  It got repetitive after a while… even to me while I was writing the story.  I just didn’t have anything better for them to do than throw back stupid lines and used their powers.  Uhg.

The actual storyline was okay, but not up to my standards nowadays.  The fight scenes were interesting, but repetitive and sometimes dull.  After the first big encounter in the Bohrok’s nest, the Heroes go from village to village and rescue them all.  It followed the traditional Bionicle way to move across the island, but I felt it lacked in any real adventure.  What I really hated was the way the Bahrag went… Kopaka and Tahu used their powers together, but the way I described it was terrible!    It is really no wonder that hardly anybody ever replied to the story, and most of the replies were simplistic.  I remember this story almost throwing me off from writing fan-fiction on BZPower, but I kept to it.  Looking back on this story show how much I’ve grown as a writer (or the lack of growth, I suppose).  Anyway, there’s my first story review.  Yay, I say.

Review The Final Allyace (yes, I even made a spelling error in the title)