The Junk Heap

So it rained today. I mean, it rains a lot where I live. But it rained today. Ordinarily, I can imagine you'd expect people to whine and complain that they want the sun back, but I don't really like that huge ball of fire that'll burn your eyes out if you look at it for too long. There's another element of my growing hipsterness. The sun is too mainstream. Anyway, the reason I'm bringing the rain up is because I had to have a 45 minute walk home from a friends house as the sky poured down on me. I'm not gonna complain though, because it was quite relaxing in the twilight hours. Even better when I was listening to 'Nameless Song' from the Dark Souls soundtrack. It made it almost quite purifying.

So, after that I finished my Harmaisis MOC (Pictures tomorrow), watched Grimm and now I'm about to tuck into a microwaveable chicken dinner. I am really cut out for the life of a bachelor.

Well, today's been sort of interesting. My parents are away at the caravan and my sister's elsewhere, so this easter has been spent completely alone. Might get a takeaway later, if only to give me something to do. Most of my IRL friends have been spending the holiday with their families, so I've had pretty much nobody to talk to, so my day has been spent playing Mass Effect, MOCing, drawing and writing (I even posted a prologue on this blog, check it out. It's 500 words, you barely need to have read any of my previous stuff to follow it, you've nothing to lose. )

So how's everyone elses Easter been? Hopefully eventful.

When a Toa of Psionics spends her life inside the heads of those around her, one of the worst issues she can suffer is isolation. A sudden quietness envelops them and the loneliness settles like dust. Ihrey was finding herself fending off the same feelings.

She soared through the grassy meadows of the countryside, Atero Nui fast beginning to loom over her. She sat crouched forward on her Cendox and tried to push away the pressing feelings of seclusion. She was never a social Toa, but she would always want to remain in crowds. The constant buzz of secrets from the thoughts she would invade would keep her content. But when she was alone, there were only her own thoughts. And when she was alone, Suchia would find her.

“You realise you owe them nothing,” a voice said in her ear. Ihrey turned to find Suchia smirking at her, speeding along on her own bike, keeping pace. It was the same as ever; she would find Ihrey and try to convince to convince her not to continue. Suchia was always there to hold her back.

She was, of course, referring to Xavor and Zhorya’s request. She was heading to Atero Nui now to carry out an assassination. A disconcerting task that involved killing her target in daylight in front of  a crowd. Not the kind she was used to. But she knew she couldn’t back out. “They’ve got Kurot,” Ihrey said bluntly. “And they’ll keep her alive and safe as long as I do as they ask.”
“You’re feeling guilty about leaving her?” Suchia smirked. She always knew how Ihrey was feeling and always knew how twist those feelings to hurt. Ihrey would have responded in her own way to fight back, but when she entered the Toa of water’s mind, all she could find was memories. Memories that hurt.

“Her condition is my fault. I’m not going to let anything happen to her.”

“You always blame yourself for everything. No wonder you’re so angsty all the time.” And Suchia was right. Ihrey bore the weight of everything she felt responsible for on her shoulders and so she alienated herself from the rest of the world. Her problems would not be shared. “When are you going to let what happened to me go?”

Ihrey turned to stare at Suchia. She expected the usual sneer, but instead she was met with a reassuring smile. “What happened to you is my fault. All of it was my fault. If I had been stronger…If I had tried to stop you before…” She choked on her words. She couldn’t finish.

“Then I would have killed you and you wouldn’t have been here today. You can’t keep running, you know. You have to forgive yourself someday.”

Ihrey looked up at the fast approaching city. She was nearly at her destination. “Maybe. But not today. I killed you and nothing will change that.”

As she passed through the city gates, her mind began to reach out and enter the thoughts of those around her. She turned to face Suchia, the ghost of her past. The Toa of water held the smile that always suited her and began to fade away. And Ihrey was alone once more.

So, the reaction to my consideration of involving Tuma in a homosexual relationship was more positive than I expected of 'changing' a canon character's sexuality (Not that they'd announced it beforehand). I think I'm going to go through with it, y'know, for a more diverse range of characters as well as just to make him seem a more three-dimensional character. It's not often an antagonist in a story gets a love interest. Less often when they're the same gender. Should be fun to experiment with.

One thing I am aware of is that the epic is incredibly word heavy. Like, really. I can imagine that at this point, it's less likely I'm getting new readers due to the rather intimidating length, in favour of something a little easier on the eyes. Which is why, I've been wondering whether it might help to post some sort of summary so far, in order to aid people in catching up. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining or anything. It's just the whole Before Trilogy thing was planned as a way to exercise my creative writing skills, so the more feedback, the better. And it's just nice to be aware I've created something enjoyable, which I like to believe I have from criticism so far.

But anyway, different subject from The Best Kept Secrets, my day's been relatively dull. Saturday, so working. Nothing significant happened, besides one kid who my boss seems to have hired for the day to help out, who decided he'd spend the last hour trying his hardest to make me and a friend jump. Several times the little git succeeded.

Then my friend decided to buy my old laptop for about £40, despite my insistence it wasn't worth it. And it wasn't, given how well and truly buggered it is.

So, I did it, I actually managed to get chapter 15 out at a reasonable time. If I keep this up, I may actually be able to have chapter 17 out by next Sunday, which would make up for all the time I've spent procrastinating. I do wonder who still reads it though. I know of a couple of people who keep up with it, but I'm just curious as to any other silent witnesses out there.


But one thing that caught my attention whilst writing was the way I was writing Tuma's need for company and how he kept Stronius alive for just that. My original intention was just Tuma wanting some companionship, but on retrospect, it almost seems like he's after a little...more. Now, I hope I don't ignite any flames of anger, but I'm tempted to go just that little bit deeper and flesh out Tuma's character a little more by having him become homosexual. Please, hear me out on this one, it's not my intention to have him exchange his lime-green armour for pink, nor is he going to become flamboyant or effeminate. I'd find that insulting, myself. At the same time, nor would I intend them to even kiss. My intentions would merely be to see:

A: How maturely I could handle the situation.
B: How Tuma would deal with his feelings for Stronius at a time of war.

Believe me, if I actually go through with this, it wouldn't change a thing about our beloved Elite Skrall. I'm not some thirteen year old fangirl who lies on her stomach on her bed with her feet flailing in the air and her head resting in one hand as she jots down some squicky love story about her favourite Kingdom Hearts characters. No, Tuma would be the same surly, aggressive warlord who now has one more issue to deal with as ever.

If that irritates people and I get petitions and people throwing rocks through my windows, then I won't do it.