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Bad Lip-Reading

Posted by TNTOS , Oct 17 2012 · 172 views

Internet Randomness
These are some of the awesomest Internet videos I have ever seen. Ever. And I have seen a lot of awesome Internet videos.

Favorite quote: "I'm crazy, and I'm right" - Rick Santorum.

-TNTOS-




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Xaeraz
Oct 17 2012 08:01 PM
Mirror mirror, on the floor/Am I the prettiest at the store?
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Daiker
Oct 17 2012 08:07 PM
"Potato Moths"
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Portalfig
Oct 17 2012 08:08 PM
"Eye of the Sparrow"
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Paleo
Oct 17 2012 08:26 PM
"It's a small picture in a shop somewhere, and I know who it is. It's Mormon Judy, and cow people."
"I was happy, and then your sister threw a sea-fish at my TV."
"It's party time chumps."
"Amy left your party. I'm leaving at 3:00 to pick apples."
"It's simple - Just tap it, tap it in, that's a zinger. And tell me how to poke it on Tuesday."
"Dude, I don't have a jet ski, at least not the kind you're talkin' about."
"I don't want to touch sandpaper."
"The hot tub is cold now."
"But they poisoned it."

Yup. I'm obsessed.
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BioGio
Oct 17 2012 09:15 PM
I love the BLR soundbites; they're probably funnier than the songs.

Ron Paul: "Free bananas!"
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Cosmic Titan
Oct 17 2012 09:42 PM
Wow! I had no clue what you were talking about but I looked them up. And wow they are so funny. :P
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Parugi
Oct 17 2012 11:59 PM
"It's my juice... and I'm hungry!" ~ Herman Cain... apparently.
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Sumiki
Oct 18 2012 09:03 AM

Ron Paul: "Free bananas!"

"I didn't run away, I got a sandwich. And you'd love it ... I'm Ron Paul!"

Oh man, American politics would be so much more interesting if BLR soundbites were real.

About Me

BZP Name: TNTOS (short for Toa Nuhrii: Toa of Sugar)
Real Name: Tim
Age: 18
Gender: Male
Country: United States of America
Language(s): English
Ethnicity: Ukrainian/German
Religion: Deist Unitarian Universalist (without a church, unfortunately)
Education: Homeschool Graduate
Goal: To become a published author some day
Interests: Please see profile for detailed interests list

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Bionicle Epics

The Tales of Shika Nui
Status: Complete
Rating: PG
Chapters: 16
Summary: When six Matoran thieves are transformed into new Toa heroes and are forced into combat with the Dark Hunters that rule Shika Nui, will they prevail? Find out in the first chapter of the Shika Trilogy of BIONICLE epics!

Tapestry of Evil
Status: Complete
Rating: PG-13
Chapters: 23
Summary: After the events of the last epic, the Toa Shika find themselves in Wyoko, a land of shadow. Here they discover the ancient Kra-Matoran tribe and their six Toa, known as the Shodios, are attempting to leave their prison and renew their conquest of the universe as they did 100,000 years ago. Will the Toa Shika be able to defeat them, and if so, at what price? Find out in the second chapter of the Shika Trilogy!

An Unlikely Alliance
Status: Complete
Rating: PG-13
Chapters: 30
Summary: In An Unlikely Allinace, the third and final chapter of the Shika Trilogy, the Toa Shika return to Shika Nui to find it has changed much since their adventures in Wyoko, and in more ways than one. Forced to ally with new friends and old enemies alike to stop an evil greater than any they have face thus far, the Toa Shika are about to prove themselves as true Toa and as true heroes. But will they learn to work with their new, rather unlikely allies or will their disunity allow the might of the mysterious Tuikas monsters to crush them?

Dimension Hoppers
Status: Complete
Rating: PG-13
Chapters: 20
Summary: When a valuable treasure is stolen from the island of Tanjo Nui, its two guaridans discover that the thief is a dimension hopper. In order to chase
the thief and retrieve the Time Stone, Isarot and Toa Kiriah use a Kanohi Olmak to hop dimensions to go after the thief. Will they succeed? And if they do,
will their dimension hopping give them the wisdom they need to understand the Time Stone's true purpose?

Dimension Hoppers: The Other Tale
Status: Complete
Rating: PG
Chapters: 10
Summary: Taking place during "Dimension Hoppers," Toa Nasis and Toa Ahova investigate the possibility of Dark Hunter involvement in the recent theft of the
Time Stone. The Shadowed One soon learns of the Time Stone's theft and sends the Dark Hunter Raider to steal it. What will happen when the Toa clash with the Dark Hunter?

The Ghost King's Tragedy
Status: Complete
Rating: PG-13
Chapters: 10
Summary: Toa Akuna, Toa Kiriah, Toa Oggakia, and Toa Ahova have been gathered by a mysterious being known as the Master of Mist for a special mission. They will go to the island World's End to seek the secret to defeating Makuta Teridax, but will they achieve this mission or will the Ghost King's might destroy the four heroes?

The Glatorian Chronicles

What is the Glatorian Chronicles?

The Glatorian Chronicles is a series of BIONICLE fanfiction short stories that star each of the twelve Glatorian characters released as sets in 2009. Each story is independent of the others and can be read by itself with little-to-no confusion on the reader's part. All of them will written in first person point of view and are posted at irregular times (read: whenever I write one lol).

Glatorian Chronicles #1: Gresh's First Match
Summary: Gresh is one of the youngest known Glatorian. But how did he first become a Glatorian? What made him want to become one, anyway? Find out in the first in the series of Short Stories called the Glatorian Chronicles! (Author's note: GFM isn't called a Glatorian Chronicle in the topic itself because I posted this before I decided to make it into the first GC)

Glatorian Chronicles #2: Malum's Exile
Summary: Malum is an exiled Glatorian from Vulcanus and is considered highly dangerous by most. But how did he get exiled? And how did he end up leader of a pack of Vorox? Check out the second Glatorian Chronicle for my interpretations of these events!

Glatorian Chronicles #3: Intruders
Summary: Follow from the point of view of a female Vorox named Sril as she tries to get intruders out of her territory. Will she succeed in this third installment of the Glatorian Chronicles series or will she fail? Read it and find out!

Glatorian Chronicles #4: The Fallen Warrior
Summary: Tarix finds a strange message from a being supposedly known as "The Fallen Warior." Coupled with some mysterious murders and yet another message challenging him to fight in Sandray canyon, will Tarix discover the identity of the Fallen Warrior before it is too late?

Find out in the fourth installment of the Glatorian Chronicles series!
Chapters: 3
STATUS: Complete

Glatorian Chronicles #5: Honor Versus Greed
Summary: In the fifth installment of the Glatorian Chronicles series, Strakk stumbles upon the identity of the traitor and makes a deal with him. The deal is that if Strakk betrayed the villages to the Skrall, then he would be allowed to live once the Skrall have taken over Bara Magna. The traitor agrees to the deal, but what will Strakk do when he learns that the Skrall have been defeated by the rest of the Glatorian?

Glatorian Chronicles #6: New Beginnings
Summary: With Tuma defeated by a strange warrior clad in yellow armor, the Skrall army has been scattered all over the face of Bara Magna, and the Skrall named Branar finds himself alone in the vast desert at night. Here he encounters a baterra, but will he survive his encounter with the shape shifting entity or wille he die in this final confrontation with one of his worst enemies?

Find out in the sixth installment of the Glatorian Chronicles series!

Glatorian Chronicles #7: Confrontation
Summary: Lead by Mata Nui, the Glatorian and Agori of Bara Magna take on the Skrall and Bone Hunters in one last battle. Vastus, the Prime Glatorian of
Tesara, is isolated from the rest of the group and engages the Bone Hunter Fero in combat. Will he defeat Fero or will the Bone Hunter walk away with Vastus'
weapon as his prize?

Find out in the seventh installment of the Glatorian Chronicles series!
  
Glatorian Chronicles #8: The Stranger

Summary: A mysterious Glatorian called Jetrupi has arrived in Tajun. Rumors that he has mysterious powers caused Kiina to believe he
might be from another world. She decides to figure out for herself, but is she prepared for the truth surrounding the mysterious warrior or is she in over
her head?

Find out in the eighth installment of the Glatorian Chronicles series!

Glatorian Chronicles #9: Reluctant Allies
Summary: The Core War has been rippling through Spherus Magna like a wave, striking everywhere its combatants choose to battle. One of these soldiers, named Ackar, is isolated from his troop after a clash with the Water Tribe army and has to ally himself with the Water Tribe warrior, Kiina, who has also been isolated from her army, in order to survive and return to their respective armies. Can the two learn to work together and reach their armies, despite their differences? Or will their distrust of each other be their downfall?

Find out in the ninth installment of the Glatorian Chronicles series!
Chapters: 6
STATUS: Complete

Glatorian Chronicles #10: For Fame and for Fortune
Summary: During the Battle of Roxtus, the elite forces Skrall Stronius escapes into the Black Spike Mountains after wounding the Glatorian Gelu. However, Gelu heads after the Skrall, but soon finds himself up against a foe he is not sure he can defeat. Will Gelu survive his encounter with Stronius or will he die?

Find out in the tenth installment of the Glatorian Chronicles series!

Glatorian Chronicles #11: Obsidian Among the Frost
Summary: Stronius and an unnamed Skrall find themselves separated from the rest of their squad following a fierce battle with the Fire army. They are stalked by a monstrous mutation that is attracted to sharp objects, of which they have plenty of. Will Stronius and the Skrall survive this ordeal or will they be eaten alive by the monster?

Find out in the eleventh installment of the Glatorian Chronicles series!

Glatorian Chronicles #12: The Future Begins Where the Past Ends
Summary: After defeating Makuta Teridax, Mata Nui returns to the Mask of Life to figure out why Ignika, the mask's spirit, has been acting so aggressive toward him lately.

But when Ignika reveals his own plans, will Mata Nui be able to stop him before it's too late?

Find out in the twelfth and finall installment of the Glatorian Chronicles series!

Miscellaneous Short Stories

This content block is for all of the other short stories that I have written, the ones that aren't part of a series like the Glatorian Chronicles.

The Recruitment of Axonn

Summary: Axonn is one of the greatest Order of Mata Nui members, even to this day. But how, exactly, did he end up joining that particular organization? What prompted him to join it? And what was his first mission? Read this short story to read one author's interpretation of events!

Icarax's Broken Heart

Summary: Originally an entry for Short Stories Contest #5, this short story focuses on Icarax as he realizes that he has feelings for Gorast during the time when Teridax had ordered the two Makuta to hunt down unloyal members of the Brotherhood. Will Icarax succeed in winning Gorast over or will he tragically fail?

Paranoia

Summary: In an alternate universe, King Brutaka has ruled the Matoran Universe for 2000 years. But in his old age is becoming increasingly paranoid and mistrusting of everybody, for he believes that Axonn - whom he had banished from the universe 2000 years ago - has returned to kill him. Is Brutaka correct in that assumption or is he simply paranoid?

S&T Contest #6: False Hopes
Summary: This story follows Mantax and Pridak as they attempt to steal what might be an important, previously unknown treasure from the Zyglak of the Pit. Pridak believes it will give the Barraki the ability to breathe air again, while Mantax privately thinks it is proof that someone had betrayed the League of Six Kingdoms all those years ago. Will they succeed in their quest?

Library Summer Olympics 2010: An Abrupt End
Summary: Makuta Koghi, the Makuta of the Southern Islands, attempts to take the island of Shika Nui by striking at what he believes to be its weakest defenses. But when the battle suddenly turns in the favor of his enemies, will the Makuta live long enough to regret his hasty decision?

BS01 Contest #5: A Change in Plans
Summary: When the Dark Hunter Flamer is defeated and jailed by a Toa team, Guardian is sent by the Shadowed One to eliminate the captured Hunter before he can reveal Odina's location to the Toa.

However, when Guardian arrives, he learns from a badly wounded Flamer that one of the Toa, a Toa of Psionics named Varian, managed to learn the location of Odina from him and has gone to inform her allies. This forces Guardian to go after Varian, before Odina's security is put at an even greater risk than before. Will he succeed in capturing her or will he fail?

SS Contest #8: The Triumph of the Toa
Summary: After escaping the destruction of their village, Turaga Mohadias and the few villagers still at his side are in a desperate situation, which is definitely not the time for stories. Yet Nurmaz, one of the Matoran, wishes to hear the story of the triumph of the Toa Avha. Mohadias decides to tell the story, but wonders if there is something wrong with Nurmaz. What are Nurmaz's motives for wanting to hear this story? Will Mohadias find out?

Two Tales
Summary: A compiliation of TNTOS's Flash Fiction Warm Up entries. Includes "The Curse of Vagueness" and "The Test."
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