1
Burning Bridges
Posted by
Velox
,
in
Personal Writings,
Literature
May 05 2012
·
110 views
vignette write-off writing challenge
Another 15-minute write-off between 5 5's and co. that was written about a week ago. Even though it's kinda dark, I really like this one, and hope to expand upon the idea with a larger story at some point. Until now, a vignette:
Theme: Bridges
I was sick. Sick of myself, sick of whom I had become.
..........Death was a salient part of my life. I had gone places I wished I had never even heard of. Done things. Things that could only be described in a nightmare. And now I was that nightmare. A dæmon. A monster. An eidolon. I had passed the bridge of redemption long ago, leaving it behind and doing only what I was ordered to. Every day I had wished to go back, to turn from my ways, but I never did. Never could. I continued the appalling behavior, letting the demonic side of me take over.
..........I knew there was no going back, yet every day I still hoped that there was. A way to stop the wraith from consuming my being.
..........My reflection stared back at me in the mirror, eyes black as my soul, full of hatred and malice. I hated it. Hated myself. My fist flew toward the mirror, shattering it into hundreds of pieces. My hand bled, but I didn’t care. Pain was no longer a concern of mine. Today was the day I would fix everything. Burn the bridges that kept me from changing. Shatter every malicious part of my being just like the broken mirror before me.
..........I finished dressing, tying my tie and then putting on my suit jacket, still staring at my reflection in the mirror, now a kaleidoscope. Those dark eyes still protruded from the lightness of the room, but I could see a hint of light shining forth from the calignosity of my being.
..........I holstered my pistol at the small of my back and left the apartment, ready to take on my controller, the head of the mob family I worked for. No longer would my soul belong to him. No more would I do his every bidding, every atrocious act he ordered.
..........Once this bridge was burned, my soul would be free.
Theme: Bridges
Burning Bridges
I was sick. Sick of myself, sick of whom I had become.
..........Death was a salient part of my life. I had gone places I wished I had never even heard of. Done things. Things that could only be described in a nightmare. And now I was that nightmare. A dæmon. A monster. An eidolon. I had passed the bridge of redemption long ago, leaving it behind and doing only what I was ordered to. Every day I had wished to go back, to turn from my ways, but I never did. Never could. I continued the appalling behavior, letting the demonic side of me take over.
..........I knew there was no going back, yet every day I still hoped that there was. A way to stop the wraith from consuming my being.
..........My reflection stared back at me in the mirror, eyes black as my soul, full of hatred and malice. I hated it. Hated myself. My fist flew toward the mirror, shattering it into hundreds of pieces. My hand bled, but I didn’t care. Pain was no longer a concern of mine. Today was the day I would fix everything. Burn the bridges that kept me from changing. Shatter every malicious part of my being just like the broken mirror before me.
..........I finished dressing, tying my tie and then putting on my suit jacket, still staring at my reflection in the mirror, now a kaleidoscope. Those dark eyes still protruded from the lightness of the room, but I could see a hint of light shining forth from the calignosity of my being.
..........I holstered my pistol at the small of my back and left the apartment, ready to take on my controller, the head of the mob family I worked for. No longer would my soul belong to him. No more would I do his every bidding, every atrocious act he ordered.
..........Once this bridge was burned, my soul would be free.
~ :: ~
~ Velox
However, the last sentence bugs me a bit, with the odd mix of past tense and conditional making it sound somewhat awkward. I'd personally use the future tense for that, as it seems to express wishes farther forward than the rest of the story does. Possibly, "Once this bridge is burned, my soul will be free," instead?
~B~