King Of Shadows

[Xomeron]

King Of Shadows“A little boy, stolen from an Indian KingShe never saw so sweet a ChangelingBut jealous Oberon would have the child,knight of his train, to trace the forests wild!”-A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act 2, Scene 1Chapter 1

Evenstar loosened his sword in its sheath; the dark, glimmering blade shone in the moonlight. Evenstar was alone, a singular rogue in the summer night. Not too far was Titania, Queen Of The Fae. She loved and lived with her Faeries, concerning herself with glittery wings and shining dewdrops. Eventsar would have slit her throat in a moment and be done with his plots, but Titania wasn't alone. Her Faerie train was with her, as always. Faeries were drifting towards the Queen, who had chosen her bed for the night, an isolated field on the outskirts of Athens.“Come to join Titania's Train, have you?” A voice rang out. Evenstar froze, then turned to see the Faerie who'd spoken.No wings, which Evenstar took as a good sign; Wings were a fad among the young Fae creatures, one Evenstar looked down on with a mix of disgust and hatred. If one could soar through the moonlit skies by charms alone, what use were a set of moth's wings? This Faerie wore a light blue, streaming silk robe; Lapis Lazuli earrings hung through black hair ringed with a simple silver circlet. A pair of orange eyes stared at Evenstar, flicking nervously towards the sword. In stark contrast, Evenstar wore mainly black; long swooping silks, with cloth-of-gold trimmings and red embroidery. He wore no jewels, although an opal rested in the pommel of his sword. This faerie girl held a wooden wand in one hand, gripping it nervously.“Not yet to join, but I come to join in your dances and revelry.” Evenstar said, doing his best to hide his surprise. He'd nearly jumped when the girl had spoken to him.“Then come, Titania tires, and soon we sing her to sleep.” Even as she spoke, he heard Titania's hated voice.“Come, a roundel and a Faerie Song, then to your offices, and let me rest.”What followed was a rough, improvised dance, Faeries jumping and taking flight, spinning and dancing as couples. A rough round of a faerie lullaby, and Titania soon slept. Evenstar saw an opportunity; Titania would sleep, the Faeries would be away. The Faerie Queen would be defenseless.“Hence, away! Now all is well; one aloof stand sentinel!” Evenstar said, raising his voice so the Faeries would hear. The other faeries slowly milled away into this wood near Athens, all but the one who had spoken to Evenstar before.“Might I ask your name, nymph?” Evenstar tried his hardest to speak casually, knowing that two centuries of planning hung on how he conducted himself in the next few moments.“Cobweb” She said curtly. “So why do you come to guard the Faerie Queen? We let you join our dances freely, but few choose guard duty. You are not yet one of us, why guard?” Evenstar almost choked on his words, trying to prepare to lie to her. “What better way to prove my loyalty than to-” She cut him off by holding her wooden wand to his throat.“Tell me the truth, or Castor and Pollux blow you to Bermuda.” She said, her orange eyes blazing with sudden ferocity. Evenstar was transfixed, for a moment, but something shifted behind Cobweb. Evenstar recognized it instantly, a tall Faerie, heavyset, with a golden circlet around his head, and a great black robe billowing around him.“Oberon!” Evenstar whispered as urgently as he could. Cobweb spun, saw the Faerie King, and vanished. Evenstar cursed, his night's plans ruined, but he leapt into a nearby Oak tree and was suddenly invisible against its rough bark and leaves, watching the King below. Oberon apparently hadn't noticed Evenstar, or didn't care for his existence, for he went on, to anoint some potion on Titania's eyes. Evenstar had hoped Oberon was here to do what he'd originally planned, but he knew this potion was something else, a deeper magic, for Oberon recited a verse as he lay it on Titania's eyelids. The Faerie King left a moment later, and suddenly Cobweb was sitting on the branch next to Evenstar.“What was the purpose of that?” Cobweb asked to herself. Evenstar revealed himself then, grinning.“I'd tell you, fair Cobweb, but I haven't the slightest of clues.” Evenstar looked up at the Faerie. “No doubt our King and Queen are at each other's throats once again. Lo, when we could be killing the Knights of Avalon, we squabble amongst ourselves instead.”“Will we go quietly into the night, murdering amongst ourselves, to bring down the only order we have?” Cobweb stared at Evenstar, and the black-clad Faerie felt those bright orange eyes pierce him through.“We will not go quietly into the night. We are the night.”

Edited October 21, 2011 by Your Friend Doctor Robert

[Zaxvo]

Hey, it's Zaxvo from the Short Stories Critics Club! Your short story has been randomly selected for a free review! I've never read A Midsummer Night's Dream, only ever seen it performed, once, a few years ago. So I feel like there is something that missing in the story, something in the corner of my brain telling me that this ties in to the plot of a midsummer night's dream somehow, but I'm not entirely sure how. Anyways, your writing is excellent, on the technical side of things. No issues with grammar, it flows fairly well, and you've got defined, rational characters. I would have liked to have a bit more information about Evenstar's motivation to assassinate the Faerie queen, but that's not super important. My main problems with this short story are all on the plot. Why'd he volunteer to stand guard? Couldn't he just wait until everyone leaves before showing up? And why does Oberon coming and doing something stop him from carrying out his assassination AFTER Oberon leaves? Isn't Oberon worried that some of the faeries who were around might tell Titania once she wakes up? Overall you've got a well-written story, but you need to work out the plot details a bit more. Not bad overall though, it was engaging and interesting.edit: by the way, I LOVE that quote in your sig, about the goat. Great stuff.

Edited October 3, 2012 by Zaxvo