Hey hey, long time no see. Miss me? Of course you did - don't lie, you know you did.
And excu-use me for not checking in more regularly. 'We were worried sick about you Grokk, where are your manners?' you ask with outrage. How silly of you to forget, I never had any... Yes, I am funny.
Anywho, yeah, I've been too busy lately bring y'all up to speed about the Grokkiverse, of which I am the center, and for that I sincerely apologize... I'm honestly very sorry you've all been deprived of my charm and good looks, but I've been indisposed with various entertainments. Since I last graced you with my narration, I've had a few practical jokes, a lot of booze, I've won money, I've had my fair share of cocktail bar fights and cocktail bar waitresses, I've discovered a new species of hallucinogenic frog, pinched stuff - both in the slang and literal senses - given and gotten nicknames (I may now be referred to as "Donkey Teeth") and even gone snorkeling in a Takea-infested lake of lava. I've also been an accomplice in a genocide.
While most of Bad Company lost their lunches at the thought of so much death, I hardly blinked. Bad Company is right - most of them are bad at their jobs. You think I'm lying about my nonchalance? Karz, I'm offended. Okay, so maybe there was a little worm in my stomach when Jinglebell lady told us what we'd be killing off so many innocents, but I consider myself an unshakeable (and, of course, noble and regal and handsome and intelligent and witty...) bird of prey. Birds of prey eat birds that eat worms; in other words, the worm didn't last long. I did what I was told, and did it with as much relish as a good sandwich.
Since I knew that the island would get blown sky-high (or, more accurately, sea-low, I'm so clever), I resolved to say my goodbyes to the place that had treated me so well ever since that failed casino robbery. I drowned the worm in spirits, I rigged a few dice games, I bought a new pair of makeshift shades, and some more acid Zamor spheres to restock my supply of the things. I also bought a little knife, one of those stupid Mata Nui idols - for skeet-shooting later - and a recently-dead person's polished skull, mandible intact. I love occult stores.
I felt like a tropical fruit smoothie to end my day before I went to the boat, so I went to the tropical fruit smoothie stand. The smoothie guy had his back to me, chopping up fruit or something. I peered up at the menu through my stylish new shades, and placed my order. "Yo, I'll have the Madu Berry Bonanza, extra sugar, hold the coconut chunks, put an umbrella in it... Wait hold on no. way."
As I had been placing my order, the smoothie stand curator turned around, and my eye was immediately caught by something on his neck. I woulda known it anywhere: Dor-dor's 'dorable scarf, technically fruitier than ever. With one quick hand I grabbed the end of the thing and ripped it off of smoothie guy's neck in such a way that made him spin like a top and flop to the ground. Shoving the scarf into my bag, I took a fruit smoothie somebody else had ordered and made my way to the boat.
A lot of crazy stuff happened after that, which I don't have much inclination to recount, seeing as somebody else can probably tell it to you better and, more importantly, I'm not in it. Anyhow, I got on the indicated boat, we cast off, and I sat down and waited for the fireworks to start. Then, kaboom. I'm not the most eloquent guy (false modesty), so I'll just leave it at this: the collapse was impressive. The city sung with the chorus of a million plungers as the dank swamp consumed it, popping and sucking sounds that were much more humorous than the desperate cries for mommy that tore through the air too. Everyone else on the boat looked on with slack-jawed awe: I sat back and slurped up the rest of my smoothie, feet propped up on the edge of the boat.
Once the whole island had been swallowed by the sea, I punched Dor in the leg, getting his attention. "Hey, prettyboy," I said. I pulled the scarf out of my bag and held it at arm's length towards him. Smoothie: 5 widgets (not really, since I stole it, but you get the idea). Scarf: probably worth more than a Matoran's house. The look on Dor's face:
OOC: Goodbye Kumu! It's been fun. Not really. Everyone who wants to post about the fallout, please do so in the Le-Wahi game topic. This one is closed.