To Trap A Tahnok
Posted Nov 16 2011 - 10:41 AM
I wasn't sure whether to approach them at first. They seemed rather small and sleepy. And they had made quite a mess of the landscape. I hadn't noticed that at first, but as I got closer to them, I spotted lots of craters. And lots of trails in the sand. They'd fallen from somewhere. But I knew, we all knew, that there was nothing out there. Well, that's what most people's opinion was on the matter. I'd seen that twinkle sometimes. That large, red star, flicking in the night sky, but I'd never seen a clutter of red lumps in the sky. Anyway, straying from the subject, they seemed rather depressed. Just lolling around in the sand, not doing anything. In hindsight, I am glad I did get closer.
There were much more of them than I anticipated. Must have been about fifty of the creatures. Some were lying on their backs, others were folded up into spheres. Others still were sitting up, but gazing at the sky, or staring at something in the middle of the group. They were close enough together that they formed a coherent herd, but far enough apart that I could walk between individuals. They were almost ignoring me, lost in a strange sleep.
As the sun started to set, I decided, maybe rather foolishly, to study these creatures more. What were they? Where had they come from? They were nothing like any creature I had seen in my travels. The only thing I could think of that even came close to them was a strange story one of the newcomers, a Matoran, had told me.
Ah yes, the Matoran's story. A story of mindless destroyers, with one sole purpose - to destroy the Matoran's home, to turn it into nothingness. A story in which the Matoran fought bravely against swarms of beasts, where the strong were brought down to their knees, where adaptation was the only way out. The Matoran love their stories almost as much as they love their Turaga and their Toa. But I did not see such monsters here. All I saw were dazed, confused creatures, beaten by a bad landing and the blaring sun. if anything, I took pity on these beings.
They certainly were worth a closer look. The greedy person that I was, I saw the value of these beings. Just one would get me a pleasant home. I needn't wander the desert anymore. And the tinkerers and engineers and experimenters would get the new weaponry they had been striving for. Good news to all those involved. I had to capture one. It became my priority, more so than the finding of a shelter for the night.
So closer I went to the strange creatures. And as I did so, I noticed that the one in the middle was of a different colour. Green instead of red. It stuck out even more, a Toa within a group of Turaga within a group of Matoran. Or at least, that was how I saw it in my mind. And this one was actually awake. Or at least aware of my presence. Even so, it ignored me. Perhaps not perceiving me as a threat. Or maybe it did. How was I to know? But though greedy I was, I wasn't a fool. I knew not to take one of the beings closer to the centre. I knew to take one of the smaller ones on the outskirts.
The plan all came together in my mind. I had all my tools in my backpack. My chains would easily hold such a being. My fishing net would confuse it long enough for me to capture it. And my abilities, my power to control minds, would make the process so much simpler, controlling it and enforcing my will upon its own, rather weak mind. It would be a simple process. A profitable one. And the little creature would not feel any pain. At least, not in my hands.
But what was that? A tut? A click? What? The central creature was looking directly at me, its eyes lighting up almost. What was at first a cold silence slowly became... Words? Was it talking to me?
It certainly was. I felt my mind expanding as it tried to utter mechanical words. I realised how lost they were, so far away from home. And at that point, I felt their pain.
They had lost their cousins, brothers, guardians, mothers and home.
They had lost everything.
I should have left then. I should have left and walked away, leaving them to their misery. But I felt compelled to stay. They were cold and lonely. So abandoned they felt, that they had all but given up. They needed me.
The hours drifted by, like flitterbugs on a gentle breeze. I joined them in their nothingness, their lack of emotions making me feel even more for them. The leader, or at least what I assumed to be the leader, tried to talk to me, as I tried to talk to it. Anything I uttered was passed along to each individual. A strange, open web connected them together, and I was part of it. Even before my exile, I had never felt anything like this. I almost wanted to cry, to fill the hole that they couldn't.
And as the sun rose once more, I became one of them. My greed had faded away. As had that loneliness that I had carried for so long. And though they were but simple, mechanical beings, they seemed to have souls, just like everyone else. If only they could find a home for themselves. This was a new world, there was space for everyone, so why should they have been denied?
As I thought those words, the connection between myself and them flickered for a moment. And one by one, the little creatures stood up, rising to their feet, gathering around their leader, who was once again looking at me with its large, beautiful eyes. The connection between us started to almost glow in my mind, becoming almost unbreakable. And before I knew it, the connection was gone, replaced with an odd feeling of... Happiness? Sadness? I was not sure. And with that, they started walking in perfect unison, towards the sunrise, no longer cold and abandoned.
And as they faded away into the distance, the words "Thank you..." whispered in the breeze.
Posted Nov 18 2011 - 03:20 PM
it had lots of emotion and meaning, and I now think of the bohrok differently.
I'm assuming the leader was a bohrok kal, and that was a swarm of tahnok that got blasted into orbit, correct?
the ending was really happy, the way that the speaker begins to care for the bohrok throughout the story is very comforting.
Proud supporter and PGS of Soran's comics
Posted Nov 20 2011 - 01:58 PM
Well, Lehvak-Kal (You all love him, really) got thrown into orbit too, so I decided to bring him down with the swarm.
Posted Nov 20 2011 - 02:32 PM
Nah, but I liked this one. Not only was the whole Lehvak Kal thing a nice touch, but taking an emotional story like this an applying it to machines like the bohrok doesn't sound like an easy thing to do, convincingly at least. I was impressed with this one.
I'm always a little bit iffy about first person narration, so I'm not sure whether or not I would have liked it better from a third person perspective. It worked well enough though, and begs the question of who exactly was narrating the whole thing. It's not really important to the story though, so it was I think a positive touch to leave that a mystery.
Anyway, verdicts in, I like it. Lots of luck to ya in the contest.
Edited by Bite My Shiny Metal Armour, Nov 22 2011 - 09:07 PM.
Posted Nov 20 2011 - 03:05 PM
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