So, I'll be honest, LK, I've never given you a proper review of this. I've always said how much this inspired me to write, how much I loved the story and characters, et cetera, but I've never properly been able to describe how much I enjoyed it.
The first chapter captures the reader and guides them into a world of mystery - Tachi's world. She is cold, sometimes referred to as heartless, but you can respect her privacy and her bitter outlook. You don't know much about her past, but you know that, what ever occurred, it's effect on her fueled her taste for revenge. This character is new and fresh, and although now is slightly an over used personality (I can admit to using a very similar character type in my epic), is nonetheless intriguing and mysterious.
But then, just when you think Tachi is a interesting case study, you are introduced to a dashing, charismatic Toa with a flirtatious attitude towards Tachi. The reader can, in a way, understand Komas's attraction to her, but after awhile, you have to ask, "Komas, why are you wasting your time?" But let's face it, we all imagine them as a loving couple - Tachi inadvertantly hitting Komas over the head with her buster sword every once and awhile, but, yes, a loving couple.
We discover Tachi's objective was to find what was stolen from her: Memories. She wants to know her past...she wants to know herself. This interesting discovery keeps us wanting more - we want to know more about Tachi, and who has indeed stolen her memories. What plagues us more is why this person stole her memories.
Lady Kopaka, here you have created an intriguing tale of suspense and corruption, two Toa entangled in a web of deceit. Tachi yearns to find the truth, while Komas is her charming opposite. How does the saying go? "Opposites attract?" Perhaps we can see some romance in the future for these two.
To be honest, Komas is what she needs at the moment. He's the perfect cross between the best three Bond actors (Sean Connery, Daniel Craig, and Roger Moore), with steampunk goggles and gorgeous blue eyes. What could be better? What is Tachi not seeing in this guy that the rest of us are? Maybe betrayal? Just the prospect of them possibly being together adds for a good subplot, unlike some other stories with romance that makes a story drag. Their playful banter adds a great deal to the story, indeed.
But let me stop going on about the romantic aspect of this story. The villain portrayed here is your typical antagonist, but here, there is something unique about this dark Makuta that makes him different from the rest, if not slightly loveable. Some antagonists you have to love - this one you don't have to love, but you do it anyway.
Due to poor memory (I read this when it was about midway through the story, sometime in 2009, so you'll have to forgive me if I don't remember it all), I can't really go on. I can barely remember names, although I can say that one of my favorite characters was Niihlus (tell me that's how it's spelled, I can't recall), the Toa sporting the vest. It's an interesting trait for a BIONICLE character to have, and somehow you pull it off. Without it, the character would not be the same.
What you have done here is give us a remarkable cast of endearing characters, and suspenseful plot with humorous comments and a love-hate relationship between the two main characters. Your superb writing talent, even four years old, still shines like it did when it first posted. There are some very minor errors, but nothing more than that. Now let me get to what is most important for me to say here.
Lady K, I've always said previously that this story inspired me to write at an early age. I was eight when I started reading this story, and, surprisingly, I understood every word of it. I appreciated it. I moreso appreciated writing itself and the effort takes to successfully write a story. I'm not a very good writer, despite rumors saying opposite, but even a writer like me, bad or good, I don't care, can easily see the difficulty. I've written at least ten short stories, and I'm marching on to the third in a trilogy of epics.
Who can I thank for this? You. You inspired me to write, you made me appreciate writing, and helped me, though not directly, to improve my writing. I have no doubt I can ask some writers who first started reading your story when they were just beginning, and they will probably say that you were on of their role models or one of their greatest inspirations.
I can never repay you completely in trade for what you did for me, but this is the best I can do. Thanks for the most enjoyable reading experience, and for helping me to properly appreciate writing. I wish you the best of luck in writing your graphic novel, Lady K.