6 replies to this topic

[Zerothemaster]

CHAPTER 1: IN THE BEGINNING

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Bitil: HELP ME I’M GOING TO EXPLODE

Ehlek:

Takadox: Bitil, what are you talking about?

Bitil: I said HELP ME I’M GOING TO EXPLODE

Takadox: …

Bitil: In large capital letters?

Takadox: …

Bitil: Hey, Avak.

Avak: Ay, laddie?

Bitil: What do people who are about to explode do?

Avak: Erm… I really dunno, lad, but I would suspect that they would run about in circles and scream.

Bitil: *gets up and starts running around in circles* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Takadox: Avak, was that really necessary?

Avak: Yes.

Bitil: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Antroz: *leaps up and smacks Bitil with a frying pan*

Antroz: Hooray for frying pans!

Random People In Background: Hooray!

Krika: Ummm… Excuse me, guys, but aren’t we supposed to actually do something today?

Vhisola: We’re making a comedy, I think.

Ehlek: What’s that entail?

Vhisola: Well, let’s see. *flips through the latest edition of “Comedies for Dummies”* Well, it says here that we need lots of action hijinx, slapstick humor, witty commentary
and random interjections of randomness.

Bitil: YOURS IS THE DRILL THAT SHALL PIERCE THE HEAVENS

Ehlek:

Vhisola: Randomness, check.

Antroz: *Smacks Bitil with a golf club*

Antroz: Hooray for 4 irons!

Random People In Background: Hooray!

Vhisola: Slapstick, check.

Takadox: This is really dumb.

Vhisola: Who asked you?

Takadox: Nobody.

Nobody: Yo.

Vhisola: Wait, what? Who?

Nobody: It’s me! Nobody!

Vhisola: How can you be nobody? You have to be somebody!

Nobody: No, I’m Nobody.

Vhisola: Well, you must be somebody! I can hear you talking! Who are you?

Nobody: NOBODY!

Vhisola: YOU CAN’T BE NOBODY!

Nobody: Forget this, I’m leaving.

*Nobody walks away*

Krika: *looks up* If nobody left, why did you say anything?

Takadox: *facepalm*

Ehlek: *looks over Vhisola’s shoulder* I think that counts for “witty commentary”. What else?

Vhisola: It says “action hijinx”, but I don’t know where…

*suddenly, the wall is smashed by a giant grey figure*

Hydraxon: Mwahahaha! I have broken into your fortress! I shall now begin to conquer your studio!

Random People In Background: Gasp!

Krika: We live in a studio? I never knew that! Cool!

Bitil: MY LIFE IS A LIE! *has a nervous breakdown*

Avak: Och, be quiet, you oversized brakas monkey. *punches Hydraxon in the face*

Hydraxon: Unph! *falls on his back*

Random People In Background: Hooray!

Krika: Who are those people?

Avak: I dunno.

Vhisola: Well! That about wraps it up. Thanks everyone!

Krika: What?

Takadox: That’s all?

Vhisola: Yup.

Takadox: Seriously? There was no plot, nothing interesting happened, it was just a random sequence of random jokes!

Vhisola: *shrugs* so?

Takadox: Nobody’s going to like this! We’ll be squashed so quick you won’t be able to blink! Nobody even knows why we’re here! I mean, I don’t even know why we’re
here! We at least need a plot of some sort.

Vhisola: *opens her book* Sorry. “Plots and Intelligent Comedy” isn’t until chapter five. Guess we’ll have to wait!

Krika: What about prose writing?

Vhisola: Silly bear, that’s not until Chapter 34.

Ehlek:

Avak: *smacks Ehlek* Will you stop it with the blinking already?

Vhisola: *looks at watch* Well, as much as I’d love to stay and chat, I have a class in fifteen minutes, so if you’ll excuse me…

Takadox: But… wait! We don’t know where to go! I have no clue how I got here! What do we do?

Bitil: DO A BARREL ROLL

Ehlek:

Antroz: *smacks Bitil with… I don’t know, a dictionary?*

Antroz: Hooray for… Dictionaries?

Random People In Background: Hooray!

Avak: What is with those people? Do they have no life?

Takadox: *sulking in corner* This stinks. This REALLY stinks.

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I was third then. No need to be mean about it

Nope, I was the first; you were the third. THEM'S THE BREAKS. -Smeag

Edited by Zerothemaster, Oct 13 2011 - 09:03 PM.

[JL v2]

Repost from HiPor, right?

[Zerothemaster]

Repost from HiPor, right?

eeyup.

Which was a repost from here.

(Can you mention that site? Has BZP repealed that rule?)

BUT NOW I CAN POST:


CHAPTER 2: SOMETHING IS REVEALED

Takadox: *sobbing* Oh, Mata Nui! What have I done to deserve this? I was never that bad of a person! Well, if you disregard the mass murder… and the “rebel against the robot” fad… and that little tyrant fling that I had back in ’86… If you forget that, I’ve been a really good guy most of my life! So why am I stuck here, in an abandoned studio with a bunch of total freaks?

Ehlek: I think I’m insulted.

Takadox: I could have had power! Money! Friends! What did I do that stuck me here?

Bitil: *puts his hand on Takadox’s shoulder* I think I have some helpful advice for you, friend.

Takadox: *looks up* What?

Bitil: *twitches* HEY LISTEN

Takadox: Say what?

Bitil: HEY LISTEN HEY LISTEN HEY LISTEN

Takadox: I’m listening! Get on with it!

Bitil: HEY LISTEN HEY LISTEN HEY LISTEN HEY LISTEN HEY LISTEN HEY LISTEN HEY LISTEN HEY LISTEN HEY LISTEN HEY LISTEN HEY LISTEN HEY LISTEN HEY LISTEN HEY LISTEN

Takadox:

Ehlek:

Avak: This is really sad.

Antroz: *smacks Bitil with a macbook*

Antroz: Hooray for Apple!

Random People In Background: Hooray!

Krika: MY COMPUTER! MY THOUSAND DOLLAR COMPUTER!

Antroz: Thousand dollars? You need to learn how to spend less.

Krika: It’s a great computer! AND YOU RUINED IT!

Antroz: No I didn’t! It’s as good as new! See?*hands the badly smashed computer to Krika*

Krika: There’s a giant, Bitil shaped dent in the screen.

Antroz: But it still works.

Krika: The middle of the screen doesn’t show anything.

Antroz: But it still works.

Krika: No, it doesn’t.

Antroz: I hear it whirring.

Krika: That doesn’t mean that it’s working.

Bitil: I remembered what I was going to say!

Takadox: What?

Bitil: DO A BARREL ROLL!

Takadox:

Bitil: What? It’s good advice!

Vhisola: Hey guys!

Avak: Vhisola!

Ehlek: You’re back!

Vhisola: Of course! Why wouldn’t I be?

Takadox: WHY DID YOU ABANDON ME?

Vhisola: I didn’t! I had a class!

Antroz: That took two days?

Vhisola: … Well, I didn’t come right back.

Krika: We’re starving!

Vhisola: There’s a fridge with food. Why didn’t you get any from there?

Ehlek: Yeah, Krika, why didn’t you?

Krika: … You mean you knew about it?

Ehlek: Yeah. You were busy playing games.

Krika: My dark yellow mage is almost level 658! You can’t ignore something like that!

Ehlek:

Vhisola: Unfortunately, I can’t.

Bitil: Hey Vhisola!

Vhisola: What?

Bitil: *Trollface* REMEMBAH ME?

Vhisola:

Krika: *looks up* That emote has been used far too much.

Avak: Is there somethin’ we could actually accomplish today?

Vhisola: Yes! I brought our producer to meet you!

Takadox: Our what?

Krika: Is it edible?

Vhisola: No. He’s the guy who shows our comedy to the world!

Antroz: What comedy?

Vhisola: Shush. I’ll bring him in. *leaves**comes back in with Tahu*

Vhisola: Guys, this is Tahu. He’s our producer.

Tahu: Hello, peasants!

Ehlek: Pheasants?

Bitil: Are they the ones that go “quack”?

Avak: No.

Bitil: Darn.

Tahu: It’s quite nice to meet you all. I would have come earlier if I wasn’t so insanely popular that I couldn’t fit it into my schedule. Sorry about that.

Takadox: So you show our… comedy… to the world?

Tahu: Yes. Your idea was the best we had! So, we went with it.

Antroz: What was the idea?

Tahu: That we take a bunch of characters who appeared for one year and drop them together in one studio for comedic purposes!

Antroz: Oh.

Tahu: We needed something electric after “The Toa Mahri become Florists” and “The Toa Mata meet Bob Smith Jr, Auto Mechanic” flopped.

Ehlek: I see.

Avak: But why were just we selected?

Pridak: Yeah!

Zaktan: What about us!

The Six Rahkshi: *singing* Why, oh why, were we not selected? (not se-lec-ted!)

Tahu: We had a rigorous meeting to decide which seven to use.

*BEGIN FLASHBACK*

Tahu: Now, Pohatu, after I blindfold you, put your hand in the bowl and grab seven names!

Pohatu: Sure!

Gali: This is so exciting!

*END FLASHBACK*

Tahu: Very rigorous.

Bitil: PINGAS

Ehlek:

Avak: sigh… quite a team you chose.

Antroz: *accidentally smacks Avak with a CD case*

Antroz: Hooray for… oh, dear. Sorry, Avak.

Random People In Background: Hoo… uh, what?

Avak: SORRY? YOU POKED MY EYE! I’LL SHOW YOU SORRY!

Avak: *Aims large gun that randomly appeared out of thin air at Antroz*

Antroz: Eep!

Hydraxon: *Smashes through wall behind Antroz* Haha! I have armored my face! I can stand against your challenge!

Avak: *Fires*

Antroz: *ducks*

Hydraxon: WHAT THE H- *Hit by explosive shot* EEEEEEEEEEEHHHHOOOOAAAARRRRRGGHHH

Avak: …. Oops.

Bitil: Hey! I’m the meme king around here! *shakes fist at air where Hydraxon flew towards* TAKE THAT BACK, YOU RUNNING GAG STEALER!

Takadox: Yes, quite an interesting team indeed.

Tahu: Stunning! Marvelous! Amazing! That’s the stuff that sells!

Avak: Death and destruction?

Tahu: Yes!

Krika: What is this world coming to?

Tahu: Well, I think I’m just ruining your creative energy! So, excuse me as I leave! *leaves*

Ehlek: I have a creative energy?

Bitil: All my dreams have come true!

Krika: What now?

Avak:

Vhisola: Wait for the next chapter, of course!

Takadox: WHAT?

Vhisola: Um… what’s wrong, Takadox?

Takadox: Take me with you! I can’t stand it here anymore!

Bitil: I AM THE PROBLEM OFFICER

Ehlek:

Avak: Bitil, you just muffed that meme up so badly.

Bitil: Sorry.

Vhisola: I do see what you mean.

Takadox: So you’ll deliver me?

Vhisola: No. You need to bond some more!

Takadox: I DON’T WANT TO BOND WITH THESE PEOPLE!

Bitil: *hands Takadox glue* Bonding?

Takadox: I’ll bond you, you meme-spouting bonehead! Come here! *Chases Bitil*

Vhisola: Good! This is good! Well, I’ll leave you to it! *leaves*

Bitil: YOU’RE TOO SLOW

Takadox: SHUT UP AND LET ME CATCH YOU!

[King of the Madness Isles]

Great job, even as I read this again.

Can't wait for you to get to new chapters!

-PurpleBouncy-

[Toa Zehvor MT]

MT approves a second time.

-MT

[Zerothemaster]

CHAPTER 3: AND HERE COMES THE BREAKDOWN

Takadox: *Smashes head against wall*

Avak: Umm… Excuse me, laddie, but what exactly are you doing?

Takadox: *sobbing* I don’t want this anymore! I just can’t take it! *falls into Avak’s arms*

Avak: Oh, it’s alright, lad. Shoosh, now, it’ll be alright. C’mon, let’s get you to bed.

Takadox: *Sniffs* Okay.

Avak: *helping Takadox into the bedroom* It’s gonna be alright, Taka, d’nae worry yourself.

Takadox: Really?

Avak: Yes, of course… *looks at Ehlek, who is currently lying on the bed* EHLEK! GET OFF THE BED!

Ehlek: What? Why?

Avak: BECAUSE I SAID SO

Ehlek: Okay, whatever.

Avak: *lays Takadox on bed* Shhh… It’ll all be okay… Just go to sleep.

Takadox: *sniffles and begins to suck his thumb*

Avak: *exits room and talks to Ehlek* I dunnu what’s wrong wit ‘im. He’s really taking this hard.

Ehlek: Yeah, no one else is having problems.

Bitil: *watching videos of ponies* I’M GONNA WATCH IT AGAIN!

Antroz: *Smacks Bitil with a guitar* HOORAY FOR GUITARS!

Random People in Audience: HOORAY!

Krika: Yo, Avak? Could you grab my left eye? It’s by your feet.

Avak: *looks down* What in the name o’ Mata Nui…

Krika: It fell out when I was battling the Giant Left-Handed Dwarf of the Northern Southlands. He’s a tough fight, and I had to focus real hard.

Avak: …

Krika: I kinda didn’t notice.

Avak: …

Krika: But at least my Light Chartreuse Moon Warrior reached level 756!

Avak: …

Bitil: SON, I AM DISAPPOINT.

Krika: Shut up.

Bitil: No, really, I am.

Krika: ?

Bitil: My parents said DISAPPOINT when I was born.

Krika: …

Avak: :/

Krika: …awkwaaaard.

Ehlek: I haven’t seen Vhisola for a while.

Avak: Now that yoo mention it, I have nae seen her either. I wonder where she’s been.

Vhisola: *enters* Hey, everybody!

Ehlek: There you are!

Avak: We were joost dizcussin’ ya, madam.

Vhisola: Oh, really? *looks around* Say, where’s Takadox? He’s usually here to greet me by crying at my feet.

Avak: *looks at Ehlek* Yes, well, you should probably see this. *Takes Vhisola to bedroom*

Takadox: NO! NOT THE BEES! OH GOSH NOT THE BEES!

Vhisola: *flinches* Ooo, that’s not good.

Ehlek: He’s been getting worse since Chapter 2.

Avak: What do you think we should do wi’ him, miss?

Vhisola: Well, I would say that we need a psychologist…

Ehlek: Yes….

Vhisola: But it’s not in the budget.

Avak: >.>

Ehlek: My I say something, miss?

Vhisola: Of course.

Ehlek: *ahem* SCREW THE BUDGET

Vhisola: *gasp* what?

Avak: YES!

Bitil: *Still watching videos of ponies* I’M GONNA WATCH IT AGAIN!

Antroz: *Smacks Bitil with a telephone* HOORAY FOR TELEPHONES!

Random People in Audience: HOORAY!

Takadox: OH MATA NUI, IT’S GOT CHICKEN LEGS

Krika: *smacks table* Dang it, this stupid Cybernetic Maelstrom-wielding Elven War Hero is an impossible fight! IMPOSSIBLE!

Bitil: Why so serious? :troll:

Antroz: *Smacks Bitil with a computer cable* HOORAY FOR CABLES!

Random People in Audience: HOORAY!

Vhisola: But… but we can’t do that! It’d be… WRONG!

Ehlek: Would it, Vhis? Would it really?

Takadox: OH GREAT SPIRITS IT SAVED ROOM FOR THE CUPCAKE

Avak: Vhis, we have to do something.

Bitil: WE COULD ALL TALK IN ITALICS

Antroz: Did you hear that? In some land far away, the fourth wall was destroyed and crushed a young matoran’s dreams… and his left arm.

Ehlek: O.o

Avak: :/

Vhisola: …Okay, let’s get him out of here.

Antroz: Do we have a straightjacket?

Ehlek: Or a muzzle?

Krika: Or a portal gun?

Everyone: *looks at Krika*:/

Krika: Whaaaat?

Vhisola: Alright, open the door.

Ehlek: …What door?

Vhisola: …The one I come through every time I come here?

Krika: And where’s that?

Vhisola: *facepalm* On the WALL.

Bitil: The FOURTH WALL?

Antroz: *Smacks Bitil with a pair of shorts* HOORAY FOR SHORTS!

Random People in Audience: HOORAY!

Vhisola: Okay… Here we go. *opens door*

*A BRIGHT LIGHT SHINES THROUGH THE DOOR*

???: Welcome to the outside, my friends.

Takadox: Are… are you a Great Spirit?

???: Perhaps… But you can call me… Vezon.

[King of the Madness Isles]

Wow. That was...hilariously odd.

Everyone's going insane, and the random whacking was hilarious.

The fourth wall breaking was a nice touch as well.

Keep it up!