Some Pointers from Tahu
iBrow Comedy Productions
Tahu: Alright men, listen up! Today I’m going to teach you all how to be heroes! And now those dorky Hero Factory heroes, I mean REAL HEROES!!
Furno: Hey, that isn’t nice. We’re cool.
Makuta: You are not. Hero Factory is dumb. Like Icarax over there.
Makuta: See? He’s so dumb, he’s speechless!
Furno: ... he’s dead.
Makuta: ... oh. My bad.
Tahu: SHUT UP! I DON’T WANT ANY MORE TALKING, YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!
Makuta: Whatever, bro. You and me, we’re tight. You ain’t gonna do nothin’ to me.
Tahu: YOU WANNA BET, PUNK?!!?!
Makuta: My ears hurt.
Furno: See, if you were a Hero Factory hero, you could put him on mute.
Furno: I think that might’ve been a bad idea. Yo Surge, get over here!
Surge: No way buddy.
Furno: I’ll let you use my jetpack.
Surge: Alright, I’m coming. Now, what did you- OH MY GOD!
The unfortunate Surge then found himself impaled by Tahu’s sword, which had been meant for Furno.
Tahu: SEE? THAT’S WHAT A REAL HERO DOES! SACRFICES HIMSELF FOR THE STUPID!!!
Surge: I don’t... wanna be a hero anymore....
Tahu: NONSENSE! EVEN MAKUTA WANTS TO BE A HERO!
Makuta: Yeah! Wait a minute, was that an insult? It was an insult, wasn’t it?
Surge: I feel sort of sick.
Tahu: NONSENSE! YOU’LL FEEL BETTER IN A MINUTE, ONCE YOUR PRIDE CATCHES UP! WHAT DOES FURNO HAVE TO SAY?
Furno: *snicker* Glad it wasn’t me. *snicker*
Tahu: YOU WILL SHOW RESPECT TO THE GUY WHO SACRIFICED HIS LIFE FOR YOU!
Surge: I’m gonna die?
Makuta: Oh right, my bad. You’re the only one allowed to use capital letters. Sorry.
Surge: I feel cold.
Tahu: NONSENSE! YOU’LL FEEL WARMER IN A MINUTE!
Surge: Everything... going black....
Tahu: Nonsense! No dude, I’m serious, if you die, I’m giving you an “f” on this course.
Furno: Surge, you gonna be okay? Don’t die!
Surge: I just... wanted you to know... I always hated you the most.
Furno: ...we’ve known each other for like ten minutes.
Surge: I know.
Furno: Oh just die. And get off my desk. *Shoves*
Surge: I hate you. Bleagh.
Tahu: FURNO! TO THE OFFICE! NOW!
Furno: Fine... better than this class, at any rate.
Makuta: Uh, I mean, bad Furno! How rude! You’re dumb!
Breez: He is not!
Makuta: Oh be quiet, girlfriend.
Breez: I’m not your friend!
Nex: Yeah, she’s my friend!
Breez: I hate you both.
Nex: Oh... I feel depressed.
Makuta: You better. Hero Factory sucks.
Breez: Oh please don’t start that again.
Makuta: Just for you Breez, because you said please, I’ll continue. Hero Factory sucks!
Nex: That’s it.
Nex leapt at Makuta, only to be slammed to the floor by Tahu’s foot.
Tahu: THAT SHOULD TEACH YOU A LESSON, WELP!
Makuta: Yeah! Bionicle 2, Hero Factory 0!
Tahu: MAKUTA! STAND UP!
Makuta did so, towering three times Tahu’s height.
Makuta: You asked for me?
Tahu: I ORDER YOU TO GIVE ME TEN PUSH-UPS, AND THEN I WANT YOU TO GO OVER TO THAT BURNING SKYSCRAPER AND SAVE THE INNOCENT MATORAN INSIDE!!!
Makuta: That seems to be asking quite a lot of me.
Makuta: I don’t think I’m going to go.
Makuta: Actually, I just had a brilliant idea. Imma go listen to what you told me to do. Be back in ten minutes.
Tahu: THE PUSH-UPS FIRST!
Makuta: Fine. One, two, three, four... five... six... *groan* seven... oh god... eight... hernia... nine... limbs turning to jelly... must... resist urge... to give up... think... pie... ten! Phew, that was hard. Alright, I’m off! See you all in ten!
Breez: Weak as a duck.
Bulk: Aw man, I can only do six push-ups.
Tahu: BULK! I ORDER YOU TO GO TO THE BACK CORNER AND TRAIN IN YOUR ART OF PUSH-UPS!!!! I WANT YOU ABLE TO DO EIGHT HUNDRED BY THIS EVENING!
Bulk: You’re kidding, right?
Tahu: Do I look like I’m kidding?
Bulk: ... no.
Tahu: Well then.
Bulk: I’ll go start training.
Tahu: You do that son, you do that.
Breez: I find you to be an extremely cruel and outrageous teacher.
Sidorak: I actually find him to be quite interesting.
Nex: You’re a nerd.
Sidorak: I know... I hate my life.
Tahu: NOW THEN! RULE #34 OF BEING A HERO IS... BE COOL!
Sidorak: I’ll leave then.
Nex: Wicked! I am like, so cool! Not as cool as Breez though.
Makuta: PANT! COUGH! GASP! I’M BACK! PANT PANT! COUGH! ARGH!
Makuta: GOSH DARN IT, I’M USING ALL CAPITAL LETTERS AGAIN! GASP!
Tahu: I’m going to count to three.
Makuta: I’m gonna die at four.
Makuta: No I’m serious, I think I’m having a heart attack.
Makuta: Ah. All better. Alright then.
Makuta took his seat, kicking a cowering Sidorak out the window, much to the disapproval of Tahu, who made this disapproval known.
Tahu: A HERO IS NOT SUPPOSED TO KICK PEOPLE OUT OF A FIFTIETH FLOOR WINDOW!!!
Makuta: We’re on the 50th floor? Crud! @@@@@@!
Nex: What kinda of a curse is that?
Makuta: It isn’t one.
Nex: Oh. Wow, only Breez could’ve fooled me better than that.
Nex: Score 2 for Nex!!
Tahu: NOW! WHO KNOWS WHAT SUN TZU DID?
Breez: Uh, no. Who the heck is that guy?
Nex: I’m with Breez on this one.
Tahu: HE USED HIS MONEY TO BUY TWO OF EVERY ANIMAL ON EARTH, AND THEN HE HERDED THEM ONTO A BOAT, AND THEN HE BEAT THE socks OUT OF EVERY SINGLE ONE.
Nex: I’m sorry, but what relevance does that have for being a hero?
Tahu: That’s what you should do to the villains. Herp derp.
Breez: Animals don’t have socks.
Tahu: THEY DO NOW!
Nex: I think you’re stretching reality just a little too much.
Tahu: I DON’T CARE!
Makuta: Wicked! Only thirty seconds of class left!
Makuta: I mean... oh darn! Only thirty seconds of class left!
Nex: Hey Breez, I saw you eyeing that diamond the other day. I could buy it for you.
Breez: You’re pretty desperate, aren’t you?
Nex: ... maybe.
Breez: So... thanks?
Nex: Yeah. You’re welcome.
Tahu: ALRIGHT CLASS, TODAY’S CLASS IS OVER! I EXPECT YOU ALL BACK TOMORROW WITH FIFTY REASONS WHY KILLING SOMEONE IS BAD! CLASS DISMISSED!
Makuta: Man, I hate these homework assignments. It’s so much easier to just remove people from existence.
Tahu: HEROES NEVER TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT! THE EASY WAY OUT IS FOR WIMPS!
Edited by iBrow Hearts Rarity, Jun 23 2012 - 03:28 PM.