Posted Feb 14 2012 - 03:59 PM
How to Be a Hero
He is so lonely
iBrow Comedy Productions
At Hero School:
Nex: Furno! Hey, Furno!
Nex: Do you have a girl friend?
Nex: Oh. That’s too bad. Never mind then.
Nex: You must like somebody.
Furno: Nope! None at all! How about we both go our separate ways now and never speak of this again?
Nex: You do like somebody!
Furno: I’m not telling you who it is. Go away.
Nex: Part of being a Hero is being brave, Furno.
Furno: What did I just tell you?
Nex: Fine, be that way. Se you!
Nex ran off down the hall and Furno sighed.
Furno: Thank goodness! For a moment there I thought he was gonna figure out about Hahli....
Hahli: What about me?
A Few Minutes Later:
Nex: Bulk! Hey, Bulk! Wait up!
Bulk: What do you want? I wish to limit how often I’m forced to socialized with you and Makuta.
Nex: Do you have a girl friend?
Bulk: Not at the moment, but I’m well taught and experienced in the realm of romance.
Nex: Okay, good.
Nex: Well, you know how it’s Valentine’s Day?
Nex: And how me and Breez officially got together a week ago?
Nex: So uh, I may not have known what to get her, and I may have panicked and then realized when I woke up this morning that I still needed to give her something.
Bulk: You’re screwed.
Nex: Sad face.
Bulk: Why don’t you give her some hot chocolate?
Nex: I don’t think I’m willing to risk that yet.
Bulk: Hmm... how about a batch of cookies?
Nex: I’m trying to stay away from food. I don’t want to test her on how much she trusts my cooking yet.
Bulk: I dunno. Make a giant paper heart.
Bulk: Or you could just tell her that you love her, go out to a quiet dinner, then go for a relaxing walk in the park at sunset, then walk her to her front door, and tell her you love her again.
Bulk: You know what, never mind. If you’re not going to listen, I’m not helping.
Nex: I’m screwed.
Bulk: And I’m leaving.
A Few Minutes Later More
Furno: Makuta! Help me!
Furno: All those girls!
Makuta looked and paled, which was very obvious since his mask was black.
Makuta: What did you do to get a horde of girls stampeding after you?
Makuta: Sorry, I forgot who I was talking to for a second. Alright, what do you need?
Furno: I dunno. Can you help me escape?
Makuta: Do you have five bucks?
Furno: I was saving that for someone.
Makuta: Oh, if you’re gonna spend it on Hahli, you can keep it. Come, onward!
Furno: How did you-AAAAH!
Furno: I DIDN’T MEAN SEND US FLYING THROUGH THE ROOF!
Makuta: Oh. Well, why didn’t you say so?
Furno: ...actually, I’m not sure.
Makuta: Now, let’s go find Hahli, shall we?
Furno: No! Nonononononononono!
Makuta: There she is!
Furno: MAKUTA! DON’T YOU DARE!
Makuta: Hey man, you need to pay me back, remember?
Furno: ANYTHING ELSE!
Makuta: That’s a dangerous thing to say when you’re talking to me.
Furno: ...never mind.
Makuta: Wow, we were higher up than I thought.
On the Ground:
Hahli: What happened?
Hahli: Oh, that weirdo. It sucks that you have to be in his class.
Furno: ...I think... I lost... my liver....
Hahli: You wouldn’t be alive if you had.
Furno: Or my adrenal gland....
Hahli: Again, you wouldn’t be alive.
Furno: I’m in pain!
Hahli: Well, obviously.
Furno: Can you help me to the office? I think I may or may not have flattened several vital organs.
Furno: OW! NOT THERE! There, that’s better. NOPE! Yeah, there. Okay, now one OUCH two OUCH three OUCH four OUCH five I’M GETTING TIRED OF SAYING OUCH six OUCH seven OUCH....
Makuta (Landing): Ah, true love’s first meeting!
Back With Nex:
Nex: Man, why can’t anyone but Bulk give good romance advice? Why does romance have to be so nerve-racking?
Breez: Hey Nex!
Nex: EEK! RUN!
Breez: ... what’s up with him?
Macku: I was about to ask you. He’s your boyfriend.
Nex (far away at this point): Secret money stash here... how much is in there? 1000... take out 150... phoning... hi, yeah, reservation for two? Thanks. Phone done... ready to ask her out!
Macku (back at the school): Your crazy boyfriend is coming back.
Nex: Breez! I must speak to you privately! Please.
Macku: I’ll see you after class.
Nex: Breez, will you go out with me?
Breez: I thought I already was.
Nex: Oh. I uh, I mean, would you care to go out to dinner tonight?
Nex: And then go for a walk in the park at sunset?
Breez: Sounds awfully romantic.
Breez: Sure! I get to pick the date next week though.
Nex: Okay. Happy Valentine’s!
Breez: Wait a minute, today is Valentine’s Day? I thought that was tomorrow!
Nex: ...I hate my life.
At the Office:
Secretary Dude: What have we here?
Furno: I’m dying...
Hahli: Furno, this might be a bad time, but-
Furno: If you tell me that I have to live and that you hate me the least and that you can’t live without me, I’ll die just to spite you.
Hahli: -that uh... um... I have to... get to class....
Furno: Oh. My bad....
Hahli: So um... I’ll be going... hope you get better soon! Call me if they take you to the hospital!
Secretary: Now, what did you do, Mr. Stupid?
Furno: I’m not stupid, and Makuta dropped me from 600 feet in the air.
Secretary: Why aren’t you dead yet?
Furno: I’m wondering that myself sir.
Secretary: I’m a Ma’am.
Furno: ...Well, this sucks.
At Tahu’s Class:
Tahu: WHERE IS FURNO?
Makuta: I may or may not have accidentally dropped him from 600 feet in the air.
Tahu: Darn it. Gotta excuse him. WHERE’S BREEZ?
Fortis: Said something about her mother dying.
Tahu: Ugh, gotta excuse her. WHERE’S NEX?!
Bulk: Off taking Breez out to dinner.
Tahu: Well, that’s minus twenty-five Hero Points for him.
Bulk: I so saw that coming.
Tahu: Shut up Bulk, nobody likes you.
Zone of Darkness:
Rocka: WHY HASN’T ANYONE COME TO SAVE US?!
Mr. Zivon: Quiet in there, or I’ll digest you!
Stringer: This is sooooo not cool, man....
To Be Continued!
Next time on How to Be a Hero:
In Capture the Villain Part 6, Kopaka assembles a team to rescue Rocka, Stringer and Gorast, while Furno struggles in the hospital.
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