Posted Jun 01 2012 - 08:09 AM
How to Be a Hero
Stuck in a Traffic Jam
Chapter 20 – The Void, Part 5
Furno: I haven’t done anything wrong!
Council Member 3: As we recall, it was you who was responsible for the hero Surge’s untimely demise.
Surge: Not that it mattered, because I was just gonna die during Capture the Flag completely unprepared for death anyway. Honestly, I think my death was better than the one you had picked out for me.
CM 2: You appear to be arguing against us, despite the fact that when we last spoke, you were clearly anguished still about death and clearly still furious at the hero Furno.
Surge: Okay, so I was still mad. So what?
CM 4: We are worried that you may be growing too attached to the temporary life that weand clearly still furious at the hero Furno.
Surge: Okay, so I was still mad. So what?
CM 4: We are worried that you may be growing too attached to the temporary life that we blessed you with.
Surge: If you’d been blessing me, you’d either have offered it right away or you would have made it permanent.
CM 3: You know, he actually has a point.
CM 4: ...
CM 3: Just saying, he does.
Furno: I still fail to understand why you brought me here. Surge and I have come to terms and forgiven each other, and we spent a fun month together playing Capture the Flag.
CM 1: You mean to say that Surge did not torture you for the entire month?!
Furno: He... um... didn’t really do it at all....
CM 1: ...
Surge: This might not be good.
CM 2: Council Member Three, please invade the hero Furno’s mind for more information.
CM 3: I believe that breaks some sort of privacy law somewhere. Pretty sure he’d have to give permission.
CM 2: Very well then, I shall do it myself, you welp.
CM 3: ...
Furno: ARGH MY HEAD IS SPLITTING APART LIKE... LIKE... UM... I DON’T REALLY KNOW WHAT, BUT BOY HOWDY DOES IT HURT LIKE THE NETHER!
CM 2: Task is complete. Council Members, please join me telepathically and I shall convey the information gathered to you all.
Furno: They know your plans.
Surge: Anything else?
Furno: Pretty much everything I’ve known in my entire life. It feels weird.
Surge: What, having your mind invaded?
Furno: Well, that too I guess, but mostly just the sheer amount of stuff I can remember. He plucked every single thing from my life and shoved it into the front of my brain.
Surge: You remember EVERYTHING?
Furno: It actually kind of hurts. I think there’s a reason why we don’t remember anything.
CM 4: We have come to a decision!
CM 1: We have decided that Surge will remain deceased evermore and will be imprisoned in the most horrible way imaginable beneath this very room for attempting to escape the Void, and it has been decided that the hero Furno will be sentenced to eternity within Purgatory.
Furno: Remind me again how you’re going to enforce this?
Surge: Well, they did call us down.
Furno: Nonsense, I only came down because it was painful to fight it. If I can get out again, I’m not coming back.
Surge: And me?
CM 2: That does not matter! Even as we speak, we turn your body into mush!
CM 3: LOOK! A DISTRACTION!
CMs 1, 2, and 4: Ooh! We are so not distracted!
CM 3: No seriously, look out the window.
CMs 1, 2, and 4: Oh. Okay, that’s pretty sweet.
CM 3: By the way heroes, this is kind of the part where you run away. I would advise attempting to find death.
Surge: Alright Furno, come on!
Furno: Wait up!
Both heroes bolted out of the Council Chamber, and five minutes later when three of the Council Members finally realized that the chamber didn’t even have windows, they were very chagrined. Fortunately for Furno and Surge, they had made quite a distance towards what Surge said was Death’s base of operations.
Furno: You’re sure-
Surge: Stop asking.
Furno: How can I trust you?
Surge: You can trust me because I forgave you, you stupid dolt.
Surge: Good grief.
Furno: Is Death the only one who can help us escape this place?
Surge: Well, I’m fairly certain that other Council Member could probably do it, but he’d be overpowered by the other three within seconds.
Furno: Man, this situation is like, impossible. I’m not dreaming, am I?
Surge: One good thing about being dead in Purgatory is that you can watch any dreams someone might have about you. Every single dream you’ve had about me –and you’ve only had two– involved me screaming with fury, which I haven’t done once.
Furno: I thought Purgatory was boring.
Surge: Furno, only dreams about me, and you’re the only one to have any. And you only had two.
Furno: Good point.
Voice: THERE THEY ARE!
Surge: Cheese curds, that’s one of the Council Members!
CM 4: GET BACK HERE!
Furno: Cheese curds? Seriously?
Surge: I SHOULN’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF JUST RUN!
Furno: Fine, fine, geez!
CM 2: WHY AREN’T YOU LISTENING TO US?! STOP!!
Furno and Surge continued to run, until they suddenly found themselves over what looked like Purgatory’s version of the Grand Canyon.
Surge: Son of a Muaka.
Furno + Surge: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
Surge: Y’know, I find it odd that water is actually a brilliant turquoise colour when everything else in Purgatory is shades of gray.
Furno: This is even better than life water!
Surge: Oh look, we’re here!
Furno: Death lives in the Grand Canyon?
Surge: The water having colour makes sense now.
Furno: Death lives in a cabin?
Surge: Why not?
Furno: I dunno, I thought it would be a castle, and Death would be there wearing black robes with a scythe in hand. Then again, I also didn’t know Death was a person, and I never thought Death would be a girl.
???: What’s wrong with me being female?
Furno and Surge both turned around to find a Matoran that was as blue as Surge, although with splashes of white and different shades of blue and green that made her appear as if created from the ocean.
Furno: *Whistles* Where have you been all my life?
Death: Watching and waiting for the day you would join my lands, as I do with all the living. I was most impressed when you managed to dodge my grasp.
Furno: Uh... thanks?
Surge: Wonderful. Even Death doesn’t care that I died prematurely.
Death: Did I say that?
Surge: Well, no, I guess not.
Death: I didn’t say it because I didn’t mean it. Furno’s action was impressive, but it in no way aided his honour or integrity.
Furno: Mood killer.
Death: How did you two happen upon my abode? I have had no visitors for several decades.
Surge: You live in a giant ravine, it’s kind of hard to get here.
Death chuckled lightly, and a trident appeared in her hand, resting on her left shoulder.
Death: An amusing comment Surge, but you should know that few visit me for completely different reasons.
Furno: Why is that?
Surge: You have to truly need and want to see her.
Furno: Glad I met the requirements. Can you get us back to the world of the living?
Death: Let’s not be hasty hero- come inside, and we will chat. As I seem to recall, your body is slowly dying without you to occupy it, and Surge here doesn’t belong up there anyway.
Surge: We’d be happy to stay as long as you’d like.
Death smiled and stepped over both Furno and Surge, both of whom realized they’d just been having a conversation while only half standing. The two heroes scrambled to their feet and followed Death into the cabin.
Death: Here, take a seat both of you.
Surge: This place is brilliant!
Death: I imagine the colour is refreshing after the blandness of Purgatory, isn’t it?
Surge: Is The Void like this?
Death: No, and neither can those within the Void visit me, not unless the circumstances are dire indeed for the one in question.
Surge: Lucky us then.
So the two heroes spoke with Death for almost half an hour, during which Furno noticed Surge slowly becoming shy towards Death.
Death: Very well, your time with me is at an end- I will send you off immediately. Surge, you’ll find yourself capable of operating any robotic body, and Furno, your own body will be good as new.
Furno: Wicked! Thank you so much, this is awesome.
Death: You have no need to worry about the Council anymore, though I will have to give some reward to the one who aided you. It was he who sits on Chair 3?
Death: Then goodbye Furno and Surge, and may the odds be ever in your favour!
Surge: Um... Death... could I... could I ask you something?
Death: Surge, you can ask me anything, and I will give you the most honest answer I can give.
Surge: Will I ever see you again?
Death: That depends on if you ever decide to visit.
With that said, Death gave them one last smile and the two heroes began to shoot up into the air. They travelled in silence for several minutes before Furno finally spoke.
Furno: You like her, don’t you? As in like-like. Like I like Hahli, and Nex likes Breez.
Furno: Haha, you do too! Surge likes Death!
Surge: Ferme la bouche, Furno. Ferme la bouche.
To Be Continued – In Chapter 21, Furno’s team takes on their final opponent in Capture the Flag for the Season victory!