Posted Jul 04 2012 - 09:14 AM
Hey wow, I really like what you're doing here. You've got some legitimately funny lines, some good shots, and a decent storyline. This preface is to explain why I'm about to critique you - I like what you're doing and want to help you get better.First, my biggest problem is differentiating the characters. I can see you making some attempts to change the faces, but they're all still pretty much stuck in this sort of anime-inspired face design. Basically the only way to tell anyone apart is by their hair (and sometimes their clothes - more on that in a minute) You need to go ahead and just start breaking the rules you've made for yourself. Not everyone needs big eyes or pointy noses, not everyone should have a dainty chin. and I don't mean just square off the bottom of the chin, I mean go ahead and just draw a square. In a cartoon like this, exaggeration can be your best friend. Also, you do this pose where they look up a lot, and there's something not right about the anatomy of it. I think the chin is not extending far out enough from the face so it all sort of melts into each other. I would suggest practicing with an anatomy book of some kind - the best one I've ever had was George B. Bridgeman's complete works. He's a renaissance style classical artist and five minutes with his book made me a better artist by magnitudes. Once you master his style of drawing heads you'll be able to do it from any angle ever. I know you're inspired by the more Japanese anime style illustration, and believe me I'm not telling you to stop that, I'm telling you that mastering anatomical features will let you bend and stretch them more successfully than you ever could without them.Back to the clothes thing - I notice your shots tend to be tight on the characters almost all the time. I don't know if this is because you're not comfortable yet with drawing backgrounds or interior spaces, but you should consider trying anyway. I don't know if it will look good. It probably won't, but the experience will make you better and more importantly it'll vary up your shots by magnitudes. I think it's very safe to say the shot of the volcano in the BZRPG is the best scene of the comic so far, and even that could have been pulled out way more so it wasn't at such an extreme angle. This would also allow us to get a better idea of what their clothes look like - frankly I can't tell half the time.