Chapter 19: Happy Anniversary!
Mutran: Hello everyone, I have no idea why we were called to the stage by Stars Rahkshi, but I assume it has something to do with lederhosens, so I wore mine.
SR: No, no, we’re here to celebrate 3 years of the Krika Show, and an early birthday to Klak!
Mutran: Who’s Klak? He sounds unnoticeable.
SR: He’s the author of this comedy.
Krika: Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. The FDA IS HERE!
Balta: WHAT?! SEAL THE KITCHEN! THEY CAN NEVER SEE WHAT IS IN THERE!
Krika: You know, Mutran would like that kitchen.
Balta: JUST HURRY UP AND SEAL IT!
*Toa Vakama rushes out*
Balta: Wait, I thought you were a Turaga!
Vakama: I change back whenever I want to, and you can’t stop me.
Balta: Ok, the FDA is here, by the way.
Vakama: Oh, really now? Interesting.
Balta: The FDA, Vakama.
Vakama: OH NO THE FDA IS HERE RUN. RUN FOR THE HILLS! I HAD A VISION AND IT WAS FILLED WITH KRIKA AND PEOPLE AND A STRANGE PARTY AND A MAN IN A LEDERHOSEN.
Balta: I see you were eating our nachos last night.
Vakama: Delicious, but give you nightmares.
Krika: WHY IS THERE A KANE-RA IN HERE?!
Balta: Just shut up and close the kitchen, Krika!
*Just when Krika returns, Umbra and Kalmah burst in, wearing suits and sunglasses. In Kalmah’s case, the sunglasses have three eyes*
Krika: Oh no, Kalmah? The FDA hired you as an inspector?
Kalmah: I’m a three-eyed monstrous being with a bad reputation. I’m perfect for testing dangerous foods.
Vakama: What are you eating today, my good friends?
Umbra: We want to try the Ta-co. Don’t bother sitting us down.
Kalmah: Ugh, that pun is worse than the time Pridak almost got Dream Plague. Now hurry up and get the food. We have an Onu-Koran restaurant we need to shut down for having an excess of Skrall employees and adding dirt to their food for “artistic appeal”.
Balta: Kalmah down, we’ll get it for you.
Vakama; AAAAAH! NICE ONE!
*Krika floats away, then brings back two plates of the Ta-co*
Balta: Well, I’m going to go work on my résumé.
Vakama: They’ll like it! You’ll see!
*Kalmah and Umbra both eat the Ta-cos*
Umbra: Wow, spicy, delicious, tastes like…
Kalmah: Wow. Better than I thought it would. Nicely done, Vakama.
Vakama: Thank you, I’m not the chef, but I invented the recipe!
Krika: That went better than expected.
Umbra: May we see this fine chef?
Balta: Oh no.
Vakama: Sure! I call him Joseph.
*Vakama goes to the kitchen, and points at the Kane-Ra*
Umbra: You have a Kane-Ra chef?
Krika: Oh dear.
Kalmah: A Rahi prepares the food here.
Vakama: With our help, yes.
Umbra: Okay then.
*Everyone walks towards the entrance of the restaurant*
Vakama: So what’s the verdict?
Kalmah: You pass. The Ta-co was okay, I didn’t detect any bad ingredients, and a Kane-Ra chef is a nice touch.
Krika: Wait, wait, wait, you have no issue with the fact that there’s a monster preparing the food here?
Umbra: Don’t question us, Makuta.
Kalmah: Yeah do-Huh.
Kalmah: What did you say was in the Ta-co again?
Vakama: Well, I’m not really allowed to say if it means I’ll be incriminated.
Kalmah: Well…erm…I uh…. *faints*
Umbra: Why did he faint? Uh oh.
Umbra: Woah, this is not good at all. *also faints*
Balta: We’re doomed.
Krika: Well, to be fair, they aren’t human. The effects of the Ta-co on them are different.
Vakama: Oh, excellent! Thank you for what you’ve done, Krika! You saved my restaurant!
Krika: Don’t mention it. I’m out of here.
Customer: Um, excuse me, why am I on fire?
Vakama: So that’s what it does to humans.
*Krika returns to the studio*
Krika: I’m going to walk back in and take over the show!
*Chirox walks up to Krika*
Chirox: Krika! You’re alive!
Krika: What made you think I was dead?
Chirox: Wishful thinking.
Krika: Ha. It’ll take more than that to make me cry today. I saved a restaurant.
Chirox: I did some science and watched some reruns of “Iruini’s Reunion”. Touching episodes. It made me feel like I had a heart.
Krika: Wow, that’s a first.
Chirox: I know, so I switched it to “Always Being Evil”, Teridax’s latest talk show.
Krika: So why are you here, and why aren’t you in the studio?
*Chirox then tells Krika the elaborate tale of what has happened recently*
Krika: So Mutran, Stars Rahkshi, and Vamprah. How are our ratings?
Chirox: Lower than the worst comedy of all time.
Krika: Oh dear.
Chirox: Now let’s go inside and save The Krika Show!
*They both burst in. The studio is completely dark*
*Suddenly, the lights turn on*
*Stars Rahkshi, Metus, Miserix, Mutran, Klak, Vamprah, Gorast, and countless Bionicle and Hero Factory characters, all of those who made guest appearances in the Krika Show and more are standing together, smiling*
SR: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, DAD! THREE YEARS OF THE KRIKA SHOW, AND WE’RE STILL FUNNY!
Krika: Thank you, thank you all so very much!
Chirox: Surprise! But no, thank you, I actually enjoy this show. We needed you back, and we need to celebrate. 3 years…so much has happened since then.
SR: Countless depressive outbursts, attacks from everyone and everything, even the Spanish Inquisition, interviews, and an ask column. Really, if we tried to recap we’d be stuck here for hours.
Klak: Yes. This show is awesome, and I owe it to you all, and to all our fans for allowing me to grow and work on such an amazing comedy for an amazing community. Thank you for your input, BZPers.
*Everyone cheers, and a group hug commences*
Krika: Wait, why are we hugging?
Lariska: Hugs are for the morally upright! And we’re villains!
Metus: This is getting awkward.
*The hug dissipates*
Krika: So what now?
Chirox: Well, we eat cake.
Mutran: Eating lies?
Vamprah: The cake is not a lie.
*Gasps from everyone*
Mutran: How dare you say the cake is not a lie!
Chirox: That’s not why we’re gasping, you fool! We’re gasping because Vamprah finally spoke!
Vamprah: What? I can talk. I just chose not to.
Krika: Oh…this is just…too wonderful…
Chirox: Here we go.
Krika: I love you all….*begins crying tears of joy*
Klak: Honestly, it wouldn’t be a Krika show episode if it didn’t end in Krika crying.
SR: It’s ending?
Klak: Of course, it’s a special episode, not a full one. It still counts as an episode, but it’s shorter.
Mutran: That makes sense!
Chirox: In your twisted world it does, Mutran.
Axonn: Oh, Krika, don’t forget, after this weekend, you’re still going back to community service.
Klak: Yes. The 3rd anniversary and my birthday may give you a break this weekend, but you still need to pay for your misdemeanor. It’s a fantastic plot device I must exploit to its greatest potential.
Krika: *sob* But who will replace me?
Chirox: Mutran. He’s equally as insane, but not as emotionally volatile.
SR: Krika will return though, right?
Axonn: Yes, so long as he continues to do well.
Miserix: GOOD! I enjoy this frivolous yet mildly amusing show. I want to guest star again.
Axonn: Well, you’re in luck. Krika is working for you on Monday.
Krika: Now, it’s for me to cry tears of horror.