11 replies to this topic

[KlakWest]

My sig links to the archive version of The Krika Show. However, I will begin posting up all of the episodes again. Please note that some will be heavily outdated, as they are years old.


Introduction

Krika: Hello everyone, *sigh* Welcome to my new Talk Show. Where I basically do multiple activities…including an “Ask Krika” column, interviews with your favorite Bionicle…erm…people, and anything else I can come up with! I’m your host, with some other people helping me. Guys?

Stars Rahkshi: Hai guyz! I’m Krika’s son, Stars Rahkshi!

Krika: That’s supposed to be a secret, you cool dude!

SR: Oh….sorry!

Chirox: *sigh* And I thought Rahkshi were supposed to be as intelligent as their creators. Hello, subordinates! I am Krika’s assistant for this…depressing show, and I look forward to seeing you all BOW TO ME!!!

Krika: *ahem*

Chirox: Oh, I mean, have a wonderful time!

Krika: So, to begin, I will have an Ask column! Yay!
*cricket chirps*
K: And you people wonder why I cry! *sobs, and bursts into tears*

C: Ugh! First question!

“Dear Krika,
I’m sorry for killing you back in the story! Will you forgive me?
-Gorast”

Krika: Oh Gorast, we were purely acting! I mean, none of it really matters right?

*hears the weeping of a thousand Krika fan boys in the background*

SR: Actually, dad, it’s worse than we thought!

Krika: Oh….*burst into tears* Next question!

“Krika,
Your incompetence is of no benefit to me; therefore, I will no longer finance your show, or support it in any way shape or form! Good day to you sir!-Teridax”

Chirox: But, that’s not a-

Teridax *voice booming from all sides* I SAID GOOD DAY!
Krika: Great! Now with no funds, where will the show go? What am I going to do? Why is life so hard for me?! *burst into tears once more*

SR: He keeps this up, he’ll go ghost!

Chirox: Whoa, whoa whoa. No Danny Phantom references, it is bad taste! Well guys, I believe this is the end, since we’ve gone over the word count! Tune in for more-

Krika *screams* NO! I’m the host of the show, so I end it! ME!!! *ahem* So tune in next time to “The Krika Show”, and enjoy a joyous time…because you never know when your comrades might betray you, or your species will lead themselves to destruction, or your leader will make you explode! *he cries*

**
End of introduction.

Edited by KlakWest, Nov 25 2012 - 08:01 PM.

[KlakWest]

ATTENTION EVERYONE! Due to the fact that the Archives will be up, I will instead opt to post the second season here, rather than reposting the entire first season. I'm going to post one episode to recap where The Krika Show left off. From then on, there'll be new EPISODES. If you want to see the old ones, please click on the link in my sig.


Chapter 15: The Insanity continues. (Original Post April 2^nd of 2011)

Krika: Hey! We’re back! You didn’t think our hiatus was going to last too long, did you?

Chirox: Of freaking course not!

SR: Although I wonder if we should keep this up. We are a retired franchise that everyone seems to be replacing with Hero Factory.

Krika: True.

*Preston Stormer bursts in and points his gun at Stars Rahkshi*

Preston: Shut up. A true fan isn’t blind.

Krika: GAH!! HE’S GOT A GUN!!!

Chirox: And I have a Shelek…*uses Shelek on Preston, and he leaves*

SR: Anyways….

Krika: Cheer up, son! We have an ask column!

Chirox: Again? Is that just Klak’s excuse to have another episode, even though it has no plot whatsoever?

Krika: Yes. He’s just like Hollywood and unnecessary sequels.

*Klak gives him a bad look from behind the camera*

Krika: I mean…no. FIRST QUESTION!

Dear Krika, why did that Great Being guy kill me?
-Karzhani.

Chirox: Isn’t it obvious? It’s the same reason we all got killed in the story.


SR: Getting rid of loose ends while keeping the story interesting?

Chirox: No.

Krika: Because Greg hates us?

Chirox: No. I’m pretty sure I’m his favorite.

SR: He was bribed by one of the characters?

Chirox: NO! Taxes!

Everyone else: OOOH!

SR: That doesn’t make sense.

Chirox: Of course not, it makes zhe dollars.

Krika: Next question!

THE NUMBERS! WHAT DO THEY MEAN?
-Alex Mason

SR: Hehe…references.

Krika: Um….uh….

Chirox: He has no idea vhat ve did to him in Vorkuta!

Krika: I’m not even going to ask….NEXT ONE!

I can has promotion?
-Skrall 260

Krika: WHAT? NOT YOU AGAIN!

SR: Sad to see that he still hasn’t gotten that promotion, after all these years of asking.

Chirox: He’s a spammer. NEXT!

Krika: No….I DO IT! NEXT!!!

Sup bro?
-Strakk

Krika: Oh, it’s that prick.

Chirox: You mean awesome and cheating.

Krika: I rest my case. Next!

Happy April Fools, Stars Rahkshi. It’s definitely a joke.
-Metus

*an explosion under SR’s seat sends him flying into the air*

*Chirox and Krika are laughing*

Krika: I’m actually laughing!

Dear Krika,
You should-

Krika: HEY! HEY!! Who told you to talk? We’re not done laughing!

Sorry…I’m sorry. What I was going to say was that you should watch Tahu vs. Tahu.

Klak: It’s been popular for quite some time. Also, I haven’t read a BZP comedy in a while.

Krika: Why is it that the host is never respected? *sniffles*

Chirox: Oh stop with your mood changes.

SR: Next!

Hello, Krika,
Care to comment on the BZPower sigfad of homosexuals kissing?
-Still hating you,
Teridax

Krika: They want Chirox and I to kiss?

Chirox: I’d rather die by being impaled by a cactus through my eyes.

SR: I think it’s ironic that we allow something that is offensive to some, and religiously/politically inflammatory on a children’s site.

Chirox: You mean a 14-years-and-older-site.

SR: Whatever.

Klak: I agree, and I put up a picture in my sig to combat it. But I still think the admins are pretty awesome.

Chirox: Does that mean we can discuss politics?

No politics allowed.
-B6.

Krika: But…that makes no sen-

*Preston 2.0 bursts in and aims his gun at Krika’s head*

Preston 2.0: Quiet. Those are the rules.

Krika: A GUN!! MOMMY!!!

Chirox: How did you transform so quickly?

*Preston 2.0 walks away without answering*

SR: Anyways….

Krika: Next question?

*no question appears*

Chirox: Well, this episode is out of taste. I mean, is it even funny?

Krika: Too many clichés.

SR: Even saying “too clichéd” is cliché.

You sound like a viable candidate for us…
-Hipster Order of Bionicle Characters

Chirox: The Order of Hipster Bionicle Characters? Great. More enemies for us.

Screw you! We’re the HIPSTER ORDER OF BIONICLE CHARACTERS! The others are too mainstream!

SR: They’re typing in Helvetica to be ironic.

Krika: ENOUGH WITH HIPSTERS! Can this episode get any stranger?

*Preston 3.0 burst in, and points his gun at the cast*

Preston 3.0: Oh yes it can.

*Lewa walks in*

Lewa: Another transformation? Sheesh! What kind of hero is constantly transforming, amiright?

*No one answers, and Stars Rahkshi holds up a diagram detailing Lewa’s transformations*

Preston 3.0: Ha. I win.

*he is blasted away by wind, and Lewa runs after him*

Chirox: Riight….

SR: Should we just-

Krika: AAAAAAND thanks for watching another episode of ‘The Krika Show.’ Tune in next time for our interview with Lesovikk! *the camera doesn’t cut away*

Chirox: What….um…end it Klak.

Klak: Sorry, technical difficulties….

Krika: No! *bursts into tears*

Klak: We expected that, like the Spanish Inquisition.

*silence*

Chirox: Best way to stop them.

THE END.

Edited by MakutaKlak, Oct 14 2011 - 11:40 AM.

[Toa of Gallifrey]

XDDDDDDDDDD Awesome comedy! Are you gonna post new chapters? I read the entire original XD.

[KlakWest]

XDDDDDDDDDD Awesome comedy! Are you gonna post new chapters? I read the entire original XD.

Yep! I'm posting one up now!

Chapter 16: We’re Back! Again.

Krika: You missed us, didn’t you?

Chirox: With BZPower being down due to the ‘Craig’ incident, we haven’t been able to do much. So happy birthdays, past holidays, and future holidays.

*a Grammar Policeman in the audience has a heart attack*

Stars Rahkshi: Craig?

Chirox: Yes. That’s Klak’s term for the downtime. Craig even had a son called mini Craig. Mini Craig was the temporary downtime AFTER the Big Downtime.

Krika: If someone out there is named Craig, we apologize for our insanity.

Chirox: You’re actually apologizing for that thing, Krika? What the heck is wrong with you?

Krika: My psychologist has yet to answer on that.

SR: Ugh. Anyways, welcome back. Today we will interview a special person, have a minor AskBook (ask column) session, and discuss certain things.

Krika: That’s right! We’re getting both predictable AND unpredictable! Take that, critics!

Chirox: What critics?

Krika: DON’T JUDGE ME GOSH DARN IT! QUESTIONS!

Sorry for the downtime, guys.

Blakc Six

Krika: Aww, how nice of him!

Chirox: Now, I know he’s a great guy, and they apologized somewhere else on the site, but that is not Black Six. That’s a random Internet person.

SR: How do you know that?

Chirox: They misspelled his name.

Krika: Interesting that they misspelled-

Klak: NEXT QUESTION!

Krika: Fine, fine. Next question.

Who let the dogs out?
-Muta

Chirox: Glad to see you’re out of the crazy house, brother!

SR: Interesting question. I think we should just blame Belgian rugs.

Krika: Indeed.

You got to help me, man! My tie is evil, and it’s going to kill me!

Chirox: Aha. References. How wunderbar.

SR: wut?

Krika: Ties are f-frightening. N-next question!

I can has promotion?
-Skrall 260

Krika: *splutters* ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?! WHY?! WHY?! THIS JOKE IS NEARLY TWO YEARS OLD AND YET YOU INSIST ON USING IT?! WHAT THE H-

Chirox: *looks at Krika with a troll face* Sir, calm down.

Krika: BUT I-

Chirox: Sir, calm down, please sir.

Krika: BUT-

Chirox: SIR! Calm down!

Krika: BU-

Chirox: SIR! SIR! SIR! PLEASE! JUST CALM DOWN! PLEASE CALM DOWN SIR.

SR: Great. Another reference.

Krika: James Cam-

Chirox: NEXT QUESTION!

Dear Krika,
How do you plan on stopping me from killing your audience?
-Marendar

SR: I will fight to the death!

Chirox: You won’t kill us unless Greg wants you to, due to tax purposes.

Krika: So many references. Anyways, who says I have to stop you? FINAL QUESTION!

Dear Krika,

Remember how in the last episode the Order of Hipster Bionicle Characters insulted Chirox. Did he died? “Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?”
-Yon

*a random audience member gets up*

Hipster Matoran: Screw you! We’re the Hipster Order of Bionicle Characters! The others are just too mainstream!

Another Audience member: Sit down, Velika.

SR: Yon, the famous Terugan?

Krika: Chirox did not died. He’s alive and well. Also, erm….*presses a number* A random Grammar Policeman will assist you with the rest.

SR: Yon will take them all on!

Chirox: You know, I’m surprised no one asked who the Great Being was.

SR: That would have been a great question. It might of even started a debate similar to the whole ‘who is a Cylon’ thing, or ‘which team member in TF2 is actually a spy for the enemy team’.

*Lesovikk comes onstage*

Lesovikk: Spies? Where? I can break the code on them, you know.

Krika: Wha-? Um…please welome Lesovikk!

Lesovikk: Great to be here, Krika. I’m glad your comedy is working out for you, even though it is random, and sometimes incoherent unlike my comedy. But, as usual, I’m not worthy.

Chirox: Sheesh. This guy makes Krika look happy….when he’s not on medication, I mean.

Krika: Is that what the magic orange juice that you tell me to drink every day is?

Chirox: O.O Um…NO! Those are regular oranges! NotinanywayshapeorformaBioniclefruit whichmakessadpeoplehappysothattheycanstopcryingabouteverything. *bad poker face*

SR: So, what’s new Lesovikk?

Lesovikk: Not much. My comedy is not popular anymore. It kind of went down, kind of like Dusk and Dawn.

Krika: Well, who says we can’t make a new season?

Lesovikk: Maybe. It’s not like anyone cares.

Chirox: Great. Here we go.

Lesovikk: You know, on my way here, I saw a homeless guy. I realized that I wanted to live in a world without homeless people.

*All the good people in the audience nod*

Lesovikk: Turns out, the homeless guy was someone from a village I failed to save from a monster. I thought the monster was a rabid pie salesman. Turns out, he-monster was a she. She was Gorast.

Krika: When you get a good look at Gorast, it’s hard to tell if she’s a he or not.

*the audience laughs*

Lesovikk: You don’t understand! It was my fault he was homeless!

Chirox: No, it was Gorast’s fault.

Lesovikk: You’re disagreeing with me. I can beak the code, you know.

Chirox: Bring it, greenie!

*Krika screams in a high pitch*

Krika: NO MORE! So, what else is up?

Chirox: Sir, calm down.

Krika: I will calm down when you stop being a lousy son of a dessert!

*audience gasps*
Chirox: You take that back!

Lesovikk: This is all the trouble I’ve caused. This is why I am not worthy of the mantle of Toa.

SR: Are you even saying that correctly?

Lesovikk: It does matter so?

SR: What?

Lesovikk: Worthy am not I of good English.

Krika: His words are so depressing! His lack of grammatical skills is perplexing!

Chirox: What are you going to do about it, cry?

*Krika bursts into tears*

Chirox: Second season, and nothing has changed.

Lesovikk: Co ja mówię? Co ja mówię?

SR: What are you even saying?

Lesovikk: SOY UNA BATATA! SOY UNA BATATA!

SR: Lesovikk, calm down! What is this I don’t even

Chirox: WHY DON’T THINGS EVER MAKE SENSE?!

*the sobbing Krika grabs a question card*

Krika: How do you feel about Klak being 18?

Lesovikk: I was 18 once. How blissful were the days of my youth.

Chirox: Your set isn’t even ten years old yet!

Lesovikk: Shut up.

Chirox: Shutting up.

Krika: *sob* Do you think your show will return?

Lesovikk: Supposedly, it might. It’s been too long, though. I don’t deser-

SR: DARN IT LESOVIKK WE GET IT!

*an awkward silence fills the room*

Chirox: Wow…..the nice guy Rahkshi lost his cool.

Krika: Things really are changing. My son! EMBRACE YOUR DARKSIDE!

SR: No! I’m sorry, Lesovikk!

Lesovikk: No harm done. I’m more depressed about BZPower not being a Bionicle site.

Krika: Okay, listen, Lesovikk. No matter what they say, we remain a Bionicle fan site.

Lesovikk: Makes me feel hopeful.

Krika: Just in time for Christmas!

SR: I feel fuzzy inside.

Chirox: You always feel fuzzy inside. If I hadn’t known any better, I would think you were a stuffed animal. An ugly stuffed animal.

SR: Don’t make you force me at gunpoint.

Chirox: If you force me at gunpoint to stop insulting you, I will force Krika at gunpoint to force you at gunpoint to stop forcing me at gunpoint to stop insulting you.

Krika: I will do so, but with my other arm I will force Lesovikk at gunpoint to force Chirox at gunpoint to stop forcing me at gunpoint to force Stars Rahkshi at gunpoint to stop forcing Chirox at gunpoint.

Lesovikk: Makes perfect sense.

SR: I think we would make our audiences heads explode if we did that.

Krika: So why not try?!

*Stars Rahskhi points a gun at Chirox, who points a gun at Krika, and so on*

*the audience faints from the confusion*

THE END! KLAK AND JACK, PROVIDING ALL YOUR SPYING NEEDS, HAVE SPONSORED THIS EPISODE!

I WAS FROZEN TODAY!

Edited by MakutaKlak, Dec 11 2011 - 07:19 PM.

[Toa of Gallifrey]

ROFL! Awesome chapter. Krika, your... magic orange juice is ready. o_o

[KlakWest]

Thanks for the review Gallifrey! LOL, true. He really needs that juice!

[KlakWest]

The Krika Show Chapter 17: Because It Can’t Just End, Can It?

MK: I haven’t made one of these in a while, but I plan getting back to this comedy. A lot has been going on though, real life is a wonderful thing.

Krika: Welcome to the Krika Show!

Chirox: Yes, yes, welcome.

Stars Rahkshi: Glad to see everyone!

Krika: So……………..

*awkward silence*

Chirox: Questions please.

*a question pops up on a large screen behind everyone*

Krika: That’s right! We have technology! It’s 2012, this comedy had better update itself!

SR: Haha.

*Krika looks at his new iPad*

I can has promotion?
-Skrall 260

Chirox: Wow.

SR: He’s been asking for a promotion since 2009.

Krika: Oh, I hope he gets one!

Chirox: Promote him to Chief Executive Producer of Donut Supplies. We need a new person in charge of that.

Krika: Got it. Black Phantom! You’re fired!

*Black Phantom storms off the stage in anger*

*Chirox looks into the distance with sadness*

Chirox: You would have made a great Makuta, son.

Krika: Next question. *touches iPad*

Marry me, you insane blubbering maniac.
-Tuyet

Krika: Uuh…wow. Tuyet…long time no see.

Chirox: You…you still haven’t seen here, Krika. That’s a question.

Krika: No, no. She’s right there in the audience.

*everyone in the audience turns to Tuyet, and stares awkwardly*

SR: You dated her, Dad?

Krika: That was a bit of a leap but yes. I did date her.

*the entire audience, even Tuyet, gasps*

Krika: IT WAS HIGH SCHOOL! Broke up with her because her brothers were #####.

Nidhiki: I resent that!

Chirox: Shut up, Nidhiki.

Nidhiki: Shutting up.

Krika: And she’s crazy. Crazy even for me!

Chirox: Crazy for the constantly weeping and regretful super-villain. Now I’ve seen everything.

SR: You still haven’t seen “The Avengers”, or “The Dark Knight Rises”.

Chirox: STOP MOCKING MY INABILITY TO SEE GOOD MOVIES.

Krika: Next question! *fiddles with Ipad*

Where are you getting funds? I thought Teridax stopped supporting this show way back…almost a year ago.

Krika: …………Shut up! Klak And Jack are great sponsors! They provide all your spying needs! Wait…almost a year ago? This comedy is going to be 3 years old in November!

Chirox: Sweet Mama Miserix, time flies.

SR: …

Chirox: What?

SR: I was….I was just expecting Miserix to pop up out of nowhere, I don’t know.

Chirox: Dude. You were expecting it. LIKE THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!!

*more silence*

Audience: O.o

Krika: *sips tea*

Chirox: Anyways….Erm….aren’t we supposed to interview someone?

Krika: Oh, Teridax? He got hit with a moon, remember?

SR: That…that was canon, dad, not actually….look we acted, okay, otherwise you’d be dead.

Krika: No, no, I’m already dead. This is my afterlife. I have to spend an eternity making bad comedies. *sobs and sips tea*

Chirox: What did you put in his tea?

SR: Chamomile, Madu stew, manly tears, and pixy sticks.

Chirox: *slaps Stars Rahkshi* You cool dude! Don’t you know Pixy Sticks make people think outrageous things? How else did you think Spiriah came up with a two-headed Rahi, and Preston Stormer came up with his middle name?

SR: It’s just Wonka Candy! I had some before I made the tea.

Chirox: I rest my case. Look here, nephew. Candy. Is. Deadly. Do you understand? As we speak, Muta is researching on using candy as a weapon against Toa. Its dangerous properties include that element I fear.

SR: iBrow Fourth Of July Party Pictures?

Chirox: No, but the fact that he tried to put fireworks in Mata Nui’s mask still makes me shiver. I meant sugar.

*The entire audience gasps*

Nidhiki: The show just changed genres!

Chirox: Anyways, it’s time for an interview! Today, we’ll be talking to one of the most popular couples that aren’t being chased by a floating Book of Greg! Berix and Kiina!

*suddenly, Lewa and Furno appear in the middle of the show*

*Krika looks up, and stares at them, rather confused*

Krika: Uh….what?

Lewa: Sorry to interrupt! Sorry!

*Lewa and Furno disappear*

Krika: *sips tea* Uhh…anyways, Berix and Kiina!

*Berix and Kiina walk onto the stage, laughing and holding hands*

Krika: Hello you two!

Kiina: Hi Krika!

Berix: Hey-a, Krika.

Krika: So, how are things?

Kiina: Awesome diddly awesoooooome!

Berix: Great.

*Meanwhile, Gresh looks at Berix with anger from behind the curtains*

Chirox: So, Berix, how is she treating you?

Berix: Well, at least it’s better than dating a Skrall!

*Most of the audience laughs, save for a Skrall, who throws his arms up in the air, and leaves*

Kiina: Oh, you know you love me.

Berix: Yes I do.

Krika: Nice to see that everything is going good! Thanks for coming!

Kiina: Wait…uh…hello? Wasn’t that kind of short?

Chirox: He drank a tea with pixy sticks.

Berix: GAH. Who the heck thought of doing that?

*Chirox points at Stars Rahskhi*

SR: What?

Berix: Don’t you know anything about candy?

SR: It’s sweet and delicious!

Berix: Rahkshi these days. Think they know everything.

Kiina: I think I know a thing about you.

Berix: Oh yes you do….

*they make a weird kissy romantic face*

*Suddenly, Greg runs into the comedy stage, grabs them both, and runs away*

Chirox: …..Oi! What just happened?

Krika: Either Greg took them away because they broke the no romance rule, or Rubberfruit.

SR: Right. So. What’s next?

Krika: We can look at tech, discuss the news…etc.

SR: Comic-Con?

Krika: COMIC-CON!

Chirox: Sadly ended. But it was awesome.

SR, Krika: AWESOME!

Chirox: I enjoyed it.

SR, Krika: ENJOYED IT!

Chirox: Ok. Stop doing that.

SR, Krika: DOING THAT!

Chirox: STOP.

SR, Krika: STOPPING.

Chirox: *throws a pencil at Krika*

*Krika dodges the pencil, and throws his chair at Chirox*

SR: Typical BZPower Comedy. Always ending in violence.

Tuyet: I can end it with a kiss scene!

Rest of the Audience: Shut up, Tuyet.

*Klak drives in with a cement truck and grabs Krika*

Klak: By the Power of Yon!

*he throws Krika in the truck, and drives away*

*yet another awkward pause*

Chirox: Why do people keep getting kidnapped today?

SR: I don’t know. Ask Vezon!

*camera cuts to Vezon in a chair*

Vezon: CRAZY FACE.

*cuts back to SR and Chirox*

SR: Oh, so that’s why!

Chirox: What a relief! I thought it was something else.

*Vamprah walks onstage*

Vamprah: ….

Chirox: Sure, you could be our new host until Krika comes back.

Vamprah: …..

Chirox: No, we’re still in the second season…right?
SR: Who cares?

Chirox: True. Alright, Vamprah! You’re hired…oh, right, we don’t pay anyone.

Vamprah: ….

The End!

[fishers64]

I can has promotion?
-Skrall 260

Chirox: Wow.

SR: He’s been asking for a promotion since 2009.

Krika: Oh, I hope he gets one!

Chirox: Promote him to Chief Executive Producer of Donut Supplies. We need a new person in charge of that.

Krika: Got it. Black Phantom! You’re fired!

*Black Phantom storms off the stage in anger*

*Chirox looks into the distance with sadness*

Chirox: You would have made a great Makuta, son.

Best part so far. While at times this comedy drove off into extreme randomness and odd refrences, it was mostly good. I particularly liked the Hero Factory refrences, like the one above and the one with B6.

[Toa of Gallifrey]

Nice to see updates, this is one of my favorite comedies. It had me cracking up with the canon jokes. XD

[KlakWest]

I can has promotion?
-Skrall 260

Chirox: Wow.

SR: He’s been asking for a promotion since 2009.

Krika: Oh, I hope he gets one!

Chirox: Promote him to Chief Executive Producer of Donut Supplies. We need a new person in charge of that.

Krika: Got it. Black Phantom! You’re fired!

*Black Phantom storms off the stage in anger*

*Chirox looks into the distance with sadness*

Chirox: You would have made a great Makuta, son.

Best part so far. While at times this comedy drove off into extreme randomness and odd refrences, it was mostly good. I particularly liked the Hero Factory refrences, like the one above and the one with B6.

Yeah, I definitely have to work on the randomness and reference-based humor XD But I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Nice to see updates, this is one of my favorite comedies. It had me cracking up with the canon jokes. XD

Glad you enjoyed it!

Thanks for the reviews, guys, I hope to work on another chapter soon.

[KlakWest]

It's been a long time! 2 months to be exact. Anyways, I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving! Since my schedule is going to clear up soon, I hope to be working on more episodes. Here's a new one of admittedly low quality:



Chapter 18: ….

Chirox: Welcome to the Chirox Show!

Stars Rahkshi: You mean Krika show.

Chirox: Krika isn’t here.

Vamprah: …

Chirox: *gulps* Oh, right, right. VAMPRAH SHOW! *smiles nervously* Alright, question time!

*band plays a jingle*

SR: Cool. A band.

Chirox: First question!

Dear Stars Rahkshi,
Hope you trip on that brick I left onstage!
-Metus

Chirox: Really Metus? Really? *throws the brick out a window*

Metus: *blushes*

Dear Vamprah,
I will slay you, vampiric fiend.
-Van Helsing.

Chirox: That pun was so bad I feel like developing the Dream Plague.

SR: ^ This.

Vamprah: …..

Chirox: All right, next question!

Hey Chirox, chariots, chariots. Anyways, we’re working on a nice scientific experiment. Want to join us?

PS: If you come here, and see someone offer you cake, do not accept it. That cake is laced with a chemical that’ll burn through your armor. And if the person offering you the cake says it isn’t laced with the chemical, they’re lying.

-Cave Johnson.

Chirox: Science….

SR: We have to finish the show first.

Chirox: *sadly nods*

Vamprah: …..

Dear Stars Rahkshi,

My check hasn’t arrived yet. This is the third time I’ve asked, and if I don’t get paid, I’m quitting.

-The Agori Who Brings You Coffee

SR: Wait, I thought I already sent the check! LARISKA!

Lariska: *walks onstage* what?

SR: Why hasn’t the Agori Who Brings Me Coffee’s check been sent?

Lariska: We haven’t hired the Agori Who Brings Me Coffee, we hired The Agori Who Brings You Coffee. And I sent the check, not my fault it mysteriously disappeared.

*She begins chuckling, then laughing, then laughing harder. She then runs off stage*

SR:. …Ok then.

Chirox: I like her.

SR: Next question!

Dearest hosts:

Your third anniversary is coming up, yet you don’t have Krika available. What will you do?

-Gorast

Vamprah: ….

Chirox: What Vamprah meant to SAY was that Krika is going to be around for the anniversary episode, which will be out in a few days, hopefully.

SR: YAY! We’ll go through all our memories with dad!

Vamprah: ….

Chirox: Ugh. You know what? That’s it. I’ve had it.

SR: Uh, what?

Chirox: You, Vamprah. You never talk! Not even on the holidays! I call you, I send messages, and I invite you to all our parties, and nothing. No response, not even even a peep. And NO. TELEPATHIC MESSAGES DO NOT COUNT. We’re brothers, Vamprah, we are supposed to get along well, even if we’re both evil beings who wanted to take over a universe and torture thousands of Matoran!

Vamprah: ….?

Chirox: YOU KNOW WHAT? FINE! FINE! I’M DONE WITH THIS SHOW. I am so done! CALL ME WHEN THE ANNIVERSARY ROLLS IN. I'm going to do some science!

*Chirox flies into the air, bursting a hole into the roof*

SR: No, no, no…. What do we do now? We’re missing two hosts, and Chirox is mad. Things are going downhill…

???: I can replace Chirox!

SR: Huh?

*Suddenly, a Makuta falls in from the roof, and crashes onstage in front of Vamprah and Stars Rahkshi*

Mutran: Hi.

Audience:

SR: Oh no.

Mutran: *jumps into Chirox’s chair* Nice and comfy guys. Hi Vamprah.

Vamprah: ….

SR: Mutran, you’re out of the asylum I see.

Mutran: Yep! They let me out because of budget cuts.

SR: ….weren’t you the one inmate who was never supposed to leave?

Mutran: No, they instead kept this guy who wore a lot of make up and kept talking about Batman. Or was it that Karen Gillan fanatic? I can’t remember. So, where do we begin?

SR: We’re doomed.

*MEANWHILE*

Axonn: For your crimes, you are subjugated to community service.

Krika: Wait. What? What crimes?

Axonn: Oh, right. You fell out of the cement truck and landed into a park. That is a class B6983 misdemeanor here.

Krika: And it carries such a severe punishment?

Axonn: Does it look like I make the rules? I enforce them. Why? Because I have an axe, and you don’t.

Krika: Okay, Okay. Community service, not so bad Krika, you don’t have to cry or mope around.

Axonn: Please don’t.

Krika: So where’s Brutaka, and where do I begin?

Axonn: Brutaka is presently beating the snot out of Lewa and William Furno for stealing his Olmak…

Krika: How violent.

Axonn: Oh, you don’t understand. Ever since he’s changed his ways, “beating the snot” means “sending a strongly worded letter” in Brutaka’s world.

Krika: Such a contrast from his usual role.

Axonn: Indeed. Anyways, you have to go help several people I have listed here.

Krika: So I have to do jobs multiple Bionicle and Hero Factory characters as they are in the present day, showing what they are doing now in a more real life setting rife with retirement jokes, and post-modern humor? Where have I heard of this plot before? It didn’t have Bionicle characters, and I think it was on that video site.

Klak: Hey! Hey!

*Krika and Axonn look at Klak*

Klak: Shut up.

*Awkward silence*

*Klak leaves*

Axonn: Anyways, get going. Before I use my axe.

*Afterwards*

Krika: Huh…the address is supposed to-OW!

*a brick that was traveling in the air just hit Krika in the head!*

Krika: Where the heck did this brick come from?

*Krika picks it up and reads “Property of Metus”*

Krika: Meanie. Ugh, okay, so I'm supposed to help this restaurant…excellent.

*Krika walks in*

Balta: Welcome to Vakama's Tacos, home of the Ta-co!

Krika: That's a terrible pun.

Balta: Yes, the last waiter got Dream Plague because of it. The pun, I mean, not the Ta-co. That will give you-

Vakama: Darn it, Balta, you’re not supposed to make the customers leave!

Krika: Turaga Vakama, how are you?

Vakama: Krika, you depressive fool you! How are things?

Krika: I got kicked out of my own show, and now I’m doing community service.

Vakama: Reminds me of a tale of the Bionicle. In a time befo-

Krika: What do you need me to do?

Vakama: Oh, right, gather around friends, and listen to the tale, of your job.

Customer: Uh, waiter? I need a refill!

Vakama: Oh, right, Krika, become a waiter. I’M HAVING A VISION. *runs away*

Krika: .....Okay then. This should be easy enough.

*Krika walks up to the customer*

Krika: Hello, sir, what was your drink?

Customer: AH! GIANT BUG MONSTER! AAAAAGH!

Krika: Um, excuse me? I prefer the term “Makuta”, thank you very much!

Customer: Oh. Oh, ok, sorry about that. I was drinking some cola.

Krika: Sure, I'll bring you a refill.

*Meanwhile, at the studio*

Mutran: And that’s why they called him Mata Nui.

Vamprah: ...

SR: I don’t think I ever want to listen to another one of your stories ever again, Mutran. And neither does the audience, which left 5 minutes ago.

Mutran: Oh. Well, thank you for watching everyone!

Vamprah: ....

SR: Until next time, see ya.

Narrator: What will happen to Krika? What will happen to the show? Will everyone reunite before the 3^rd anniversary? What happened to the band? Will things make more sense from now on? Will we find out what the Ta-co contains and whether or not it is FDA approved? Find out, next time on the Krika Show!

Edited by KlakWest, Nov 25 2012 - 09:59 PM.

[KlakWest]

Chapter 19: Happy Anniversary!

 

Vamprah: ……

 

Mutran: Hello everyone, I have no idea why we were called to the stage by Stars Rahkshi, but I assume it has something to do with lederhosens, so I wore mine.

 

SR: No, no, we’re here to celebrate 3 years of the Krika Show, and an early birthday to Klak!

 

Mutran: Who’s Klak? He sounds unnoticeable.

 

SR: He’s the author of this comedy.

 

Mutran: Oh.

 

Vamprah: …..

 

*Meanwhile*

 

Krika: Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. The FDA IS HERE!

 

Balta: WHAT?! SEAL THE KITCHEN! THEY CAN NEVER SEE WHAT IS IN THERE!

 

Krika: You know, Mutran would like that kitchen.

 

Balta: JUST HURRY UP AND SEAL IT!

 

*Toa Vakama rushes out*

 

Balta: Wait, I thought you were a Turaga!

 

Vakama: I change back whenever I want to, and you can’t stop me.

 

Balta: Ok, the FDA is here, by the way.

 

Vakama: Oh, really now? Interesting.

 

Balta: …

 

Vakama: ….

 

Balta: The FDA, Vakama.

 

Vakama: OH NO THE FDA IS HERE RUN. RUN FOR THE HILLS! I HAD A VISION AND IT WAS FILLED WITH KRIKA AND PEOPLE AND A STRANGE PARTY AND A MAN IN A LEDERHOSEN.

 

Balta: I see you were eating our nachos last night.

 

Vakama: Delicious, but give you nightmares.

 

Krika: WHY IS THERE A KANE-RA IN HERE?!

 

Balta: Just shut up and close the kitchen, Krika!

 

*Just when Krika returns, Umbra and Kalmah burst in, wearing suits and sunglasses. In Kalmah’s case, the sunglasses have three eyes*

 

Krika: Oh no, Kalmah? The FDA hired you as an inspector?

 

Kalmah: I’m a three-eyed monstrous being with a bad reputation. I’m perfect for testing dangerous foods.

 

Vakama: What are you eating today, my good friends?

 

Umbra: We want to try the Ta-co. Don’t bother sitting us down.

 

Kalmah: Ugh, that pun is worse than the time Pridak almost got Dream Plague. Now hurry up and get the food. We have an Onu-Koran restaurant we need to shut down for having an excess of Skrall employees and adding dirt to their food for “artistic appeal”.

 

Balta: Kalmah down, we’ll get it for you.

 

Vakama; AAAAAH! NICE ONE!

 

*Krika floats away, then brings back two plates of the Ta-co*

 

Balta: Well, I’m going to go work on my résumé.

 

Vakama: They’ll like it! You’ll see!

 

*Kalmah and Umbra both eat the Ta-cos*

 

Umbra: Wow, spicy, delicious, tastes like…

 

Kalmah: Wow. Better than I thought it would. Nicely done, Vakama.

 

Vakama: Thank you, I’m not the chef, but I invented the recipe!

 

Krika: That went better than expected.

 

Umbra: May we see this fine chef?

 

Balta: Oh no.

 

Vakama: Sure! I call him Joseph.

 

*Vakama goes to the kitchen, and points at the Kane-Ra*

 

Kalmah: …..

 

Umbra: You have a Kane-Ra chef?

 

Krika: Oh dear.

 

Balta: Yes.

 

Kalmah: A Rahi prepares the food here.

 

Vakama: With our help, yes.

 

Umbra: Okay then.

 

*Everyone walks towards the entrance of the restaurant*

 

Vakama: So what’s the verdict?

 

Kalmah: You pass. The Ta-co was okay, I didn’t detect any bad ingredients, and a Kane-Ra chef is a nice touch.

 

Krika: Wait, wait, wait, you have no issue with the fact that there’s a monster preparing the food here?

 

Umbra: Don’t question us, Makuta.

 

Kalmah: Yeah do-Huh.

 

Everyone: What?

 

Kalmah: What did you say was in the Ta-co again?

 

Vakama: Well, I’m not really allowed to say if it means I’ll be incriminated.

 

Kalmah: Well…erm…I uh…. *faints*

 

Umbra: Why did he faint? Uh oh.

 

Balta: What?

 

Umbra: Woah, this is not good at all. *also faints*

 

Balta: We’re doomed.

 

Krika: Well, to be fair, they aren’t human. The effects of the Ta-co on them are different.

 

Vakama: Oh, excellent! Thank you for what you’ve done, Krika! You saved my restaurant!

 

Krika: Don’t mention it. I’m out of here.

 

*exits*

 

Customer: Um, excuse me, why am I on fire?

 

Vakama: So that’s what it does to humans.

 

*Krika returns to the studio*

 

Krika: I’m going to walk back in and take over the show!

 

*Chirox walks up to Krika*

 

Chirox: Krika! You’re alive!

 

Krika: What made you think I was dead?

 

Chirox: Wishful thinking.

 

Krika: Ha. It’ll take more than that to make me cry today. I saved a restaurant.

 

Chirox: I did some science and watched some reruns of “Iruini’s Reunion”. Touching episodes. It made me feel like I had a heart.

 

Krika: Wow, that’s a first.

 

Chirox: I know, so I switched it to “Always Being Evil”, Teridax’s latest talk show.

 

Krika: So why are you here, and why aren’t you in the studio?

 

*Chirox then tells Krika the elaborate tale of what has happened recently*

 

Krika: Wow.

 

Chirox: Yep.

 

Krika: So Mutran, Stars Rahkshi, and Vamprah. How are our ratings?

 

Chirox: Lower than the worst comedy of all time.

 

Krika: Oh dear.

 

Chirox: Now let’s go inside and save The Krika Show!

 

*They both burst in. The studio is completely dark*

 

*Suddenly, the lights turn on*

 

*Stars Rahkshi, Metus, Miserix, Mutran, Klak, Vamprah, Gorast, and countless Bionicle and Hero Factory characters, all of those who made guest appearances in the Krika Show and more are standing together, smiling*

 

Krika: Oh…What?

 

SR: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, DAD! THREE YEARS OF THE KRIKA SHOW, AND WE’RE STILL FUNNY!

 

Krika: Thank you, thank you all so very much!

 

Chirox: Surprise! But no, thank you, I actually enjoy this show. We needed you back, and we need to celebrate. 3 years…so much has happened since then.

 

SR: Countless depressive outbursts, attacks from everyone and everything, even the Spanish Inquisition, interviews, and an ask column. Really, if we tried to recap we’d be stuck here for hours.

 

Klak: Yes. This show is awesome, and I owe it to you all, and to all our fans for allowing me to grow and work on such an amazing comedy for an amazing community. Thank you for your input, BZPers.

 

*Everyone cheers, and a group hug commences*

 

Krika: Wait, why are we hugging?

 

Lariska: Hugs are for the morally upright! And we’re villains!

 

Metus: This is getting awkward.

 

*The hug dissipates*

 

Krika: So what now?

 

Chirox: Well, we eat cake.

 

Mutran: Eating lies?

 

Vamprah: The cake is not a lie.

 

*Gasps from everyone*

 

Mutran: How dare you say the cake is not a lie!

 

Chirox: That’s not why we’re gasping, you fool! We’re gasping because Vamprah finally spoke!

 

Vamprah: What? I can talk. I just chose not to.

 

Krika: Oh…this is just…too wonderful…

 

Chirox: Here we go.

 

Krika: I love you all….*begins crying tears of joy*

 

Klak: Honestly, it wouldn’t be a Krika show episode if it didn’t end in Krika crying.

 

SR: It’s ending?

 

Klak: Of course, it’s a special episode, not a full one. It still counts as an episode, but it’s shorter.

 

Mutran: That makes sense!

 

Chirox: In your twisted world it does, Mutran.

 

Axonn: Oh, Krika, don’t forget, after this weekend, you’re still going back to community service.

 

Klak: Yes. The 3^rd anniversary and my birthday may give you a break this weekend, but you still need to pay for your misdemeanor. It’s a fantastic plot device I must exploit to its greatest potential.

 

Krika: *sob* But who will replace me?

 

Chirox: Mutran. He’s equally as insane, but not as emotionally volatile.

 

SR: Krika will return though, right?

 

Axonn: Yes, so long as he continues to do well.

 

Miserix: GOOD! I enjoy this frivolous yet mildly amusing show. I want to guest star again.

 

Axonn: Well, you’re in luck. Krika is working for you on Monday.

 

Miserix: EXCELLENT.

 

Krika: Now, it’s for me to cry tears of horror.

 

THE END.