Edited by Shadow Guardian, Feb 06 2012 - 09:27 AM.
Posted Feb 04 2012 - 10:41 PM
Posted Feb 05 2012 - 01:32 PM
I think you meant to say 'stared'.
He stated at the Olmak which sat behind glass across from him.
Should be 'hand'.Anyway, this is a good story and I enjoyed it.
His held clutched Tridax's own acid-tipped staff.
Everyone is one choice away from being a bad guy in someone else's story.
Posted Feb 06 2012 - 11:19 PM
Posted Mar 10 2012 - 11:54 AM
That should be were. Pretty much the only error I found that someone else hadn't pointed out.All in all, kudos for fleshing out an underloved character in a creative, interesting way.-Teezy
They'd shoved him in a place so pathetic its inhabitants we're referred to as "ghosts."
You will always be fond of me.
I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit...
0 user(s) are browsing this forum
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users