7 replies to this topic

[Kakaru]

Don't mind me, just posting a topic for my entry.

Click thumb for full entry.

This was a lot easier to make than any given page in my regular series because I didn't have to focus as much on shading or retracing figures. This gave it a bit messier look, which is how I envisioned it, so it's all good. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.

Thanks for reading, and be sure to enter!

Edited by Kakaru, Feb 13 2012 - 05:34 PM.

[Roger Jacobsen]

Silent comic much?

Visual are absolutely spectacular, however.
Good job!

[Kakaru]

Silent comic much?

Visual are absolutely spectacular, however.
Good job!

Haha, yeah. I wanted to focus on the art since incorporating dialogue would mean I'd have to justify the fact that's it's so short. XD

Thank you!

Also, it ocurred to me that yes, I did edit my entry. You can check the edit dates on both my post in this topic and in the official topic to make sure I did so before receiving any feedback. The original comic is here. The only change is that the puddle of blood in panel six is distinctly more red. I changed it simply to avoid any rules about blood and gore. (I was too lazy to check the GA guidelines so I decided to play it safe.)

[Roger Jacobsen]

By the way, this reminds me of Ko-Koro in MNOLG.

[Kakaru]

By the way, this reminds me of Ko-Koro in MNOLG.

Glad to see you recognized it! Yes, this was deliberately based off MNOG's version of Ko-Koro and the mystery is centered around the arrival of the Toa Kopaka. You can cross-reference the constellation in the second-to-last panel to the inscription on the telescope in the game pointing out the prophecy of the Hero of ice.

[D-Shadow]

I'm confused as to what the mystery is and what there is to be solved...

Is this the entire entry? I mean, it looks nice, but it doesn't seem like anything. It really just looks like someone found someone else and... that was it.

[ReckoningReckoner]

First things first, I love the art style. It is brilliant.

My main complaint is the plot itself. It took me a few rereads to understand what exactly was going on, and I'm not exactly sure if my impression of the plot is entirely accurate. My initial assumption was that the broken hut was actually the canister that the toa had emerged from, and Kopaka had found the Akaku and used it to scan for the Bohrok tracks on the ground, but I think I've understood the plot properly now (Kopaka walks through destroyed village, now vengeful, is hunting for whatever had caused the damage).

If you had simply added an extra panel showcasing the the destruction of the village or had drawn the destroyed village somewhere on the first panel, the confusion could have been avoided. The other parts of the comic that had confused me (the akaku, the hand, the canister etc.) were only there because I wasn't able to tell that Kopaka was walking through a destroyed village.

Once I had fully understood the comic, I realise that is actually quite astounding. The subtle, yet highly highly distinct red colour is incredible. The lack of dialog gives the comic very eerie atmosphere as well a sense of loneliness. I find that brilliant. Though I honestly believe that if I had understood the plot the first time I had read it, I would have appreciated the comic to a much higher degree.

Best of luck.

Edited by iPenguin, Feb 18 2012 - 10:26 PM.

[Kakaru]

I'm confused as to what the mystery is and what there is to be solved...

Is this the entire entry? I mean, it looks nice, but it doesn't seem like anything. It really just looks like someone found someone else and... that was it.

The mystery was encompassed in the presence of the Bohrok and the stranger who showed up in the matoran's village. It was based off the Mata-Nui years of Bionicle. I'll admit the point of intrigue was a bit vague but it's still there if you think long enough about it.

Thanks for reading!

First things first, I love the art style. It is brilliant.

My main complaint is the plot itself. It took me a few rereads to understand what exactly was going on, and I'm not exactly sure if my impression of the plot is entirely accurate. My initial assumption was that the broken hut was actually the canister that the toa had emerged from, and Kopaka had found the Akaku and used it to scan for the Bohrok tracks on the ground, but I think I've understood the plot properly now (Kopaka walks through destroyed village, now vengeful, is hunting for whatever had caused the damage).

If you had simply added an extra panel showcasing the the destruction of the village or had drawn the destroyed village somewhere on the first panel, the confusion could have been avoided. The other parts of the comic that had confused me (the akaku, the hand, the canister etc.) were only there because I wasn't able to tell that Kopaka was walking through a destroyed village.

Once I had fully understood the comic, I realise that is actually quite astounding. The subtle, yet highly highly distinct red colour is incredible. The lack of dialog gives the comic very eerie atmosphere as well a sense of loneliness. I find that brilliant. Though I honestly believe that if I had understood the plot the first time I had read it, I would have appreciated the comic to a much higher degree.

Best of luck.

I actually did think to add another panel that showed the destruction of the village, but there didn't seem to be a way to do that realistically without showing the matoran corpses that would have inevitably been strewn about in the aftermath, thereby significantly ramping up the carnage and pushing the rules. In hindsight I probably could have done it if I was more careful. A lesson for the future, I suppose.

Yes, I was intentionally ambiguous in the area of story, though a major fault of mine is creating just enough that it makes sense in my own mind without stepping into the mind of the casual viewer.
I appreciate that you took the time to try to understand my entry and -though you were off on several points (again, totally my fault)- let it make some sort of impact.
Thanks for the critique! I'll keep your suggestions in mind as I attempt to hone my craft.