123 replies to this topic

[LehvakLah]

[Hannah]: PANIC!



HOLY SWEET POTATO!


[Hannah]: Catch breath



Law' t'underin' jesus. Your heart is racin! Man, maybe you should lay off the sodium a little. Just gotta catch your breath. Phew!

Thank goodness you're both safe.


[Hannah]: Make sure Pommes is safe.



Pommes?


[Hannah]: Search for Pommes



Suddenly, you hear a series of sharp barks from your new backdoor.


[Hannah]::::



Stones rain down outside as the mesa above you crumbles. Pommes must be nuts! He's gonna get flattened like a latke out there.


[Hannah]: Save your dog!



Your poor dog! You call out to him. Desperation sets in...but how can you save him when it's so dangerous to go out? Metric tons of rock crash down from above, missing him by inches.

But you can't save him.

You're too afraid.


[Hannah]: Hurry!




[Hannah]::::!




[Hannah]::::




[Hannah]::::



POOOOMMMMMEESSSS!


[Hannah]::::




[Hannah]::::




[Hannah]::::




[Hannah]::::




[Hannah]::::




[Hannah]::::



Pommes suddenly finds himself as your steed.

Yeehaw! You scurry on back to the relative safety of your house. The one that crumbled like cardboard just a minute ago.

Phew!


[Hannah]::::



You return and take all the necessary precautions one would expect when one's life is being threatened by thousands of tons of rock hurtling from the sky. You decide now would be a really good time to get on the internet and check on everyone, and you're absolutely right to do so. You're as safe as a freshly sliced potato sitting innocently next to a warmed up frier. No way you're gonna be in the hot oil anytime soon, no sir!

Oh look, Andrew's messaging you.

Spoiler

GG: Ah, Here she comes
GG: Troubles are rising
MM: andrew
MM: i'm squatting in a bathtub
GG: Oh no love!
GG: I know you're scared, but we're together
GG: not alone
MM: why are you talking like that
MM: i told you to stop that
MM: er
MM: cut that... jib
GG: It's a god awful small affair
GG: but your friend is nowhere to be seen
GG: This isn't Mister Arthur talking to the girl with the mousy hair
MM: uh?
MM: what are you flapping your silver tongue about
GG: Helping you find stars that look very different
MM: Who is this???
GG: Love, look to the screen. I'm a different man.
GG: You see it's the freakiest show
GG: and I'm floating in a most peculiar way

[Hannah]: Look at screen

Spoiler

MM: oh

[Hannah]: !!!!

Spoiler

MM: my

[Hannah]: !!!!!!

Spoiler

MM: bowie

[Hannah]: Fall in love with Bowiesprite



Well shucks buster and shoot pardnah it sure is gettin mighty steamy in here! What a strange commotion what has come over this innocent country gal. You are really quite a fluster! Your glasses just can't seem to stop fogging up at this sudden influx of delirium you are experiencing! Of course, when such a gentleman caller is present one can't very well be expected to be completely restrained.

 

Oh Mister Bowie, you do tempt one so!

Spoiler

GG: Love, I ask you to focus on
GG: They're writing on the walls
GG: in bullets and blood
GG: Don't let the men blast your shadow
MM: it's hard
MM: when the men are boulders :(
MM: oh bowie what am i gonna do??
MM: i'm a whisker away from becoming a roadkill
GG: You're not a rock'n'roll suicide
GG: You must hurry and finish his home
GG: He's trying hard but he
GG: "can't initiate the ascension without complete deployment"
GG: then once we've really got a good thing going
GG: you're gonna make it too
MM: you
MM: you reckon?
GG: I'm sure
GG: but you're not protected, it's plain to see
GG: Come out of the bathroom, baby
GG: you'll catch death in the tub
GG: Get your feet back on the ground, this is an easy game for you to play
GG: but time is not on our side
MM: aight...gosh mr. Bowie
MM: i'll try
MM: i'll try

[/center]

[InnerRayg]

[???]::::



You are now....


[???]::::



The Larcenous Warden. And your communicator has just blown up in your face.

This makes you angry.


[LW]::::



What an impudent little philistine. The nerve of that over anaerobically metabolized primate. You've wiped your various organic material depository ducts with sheets of compressed fiber possessing higher intelligence than him. The nerve. THE AUDACITY.


[LW]: Get Revenge



You can't wait to get someone else to really teach him a lesson. You'd never sully your own scarf with such base actions. It's a handmade original.


[LW]: Drink more hipster coffee



Yes, regaining your composure is important. Emotions really are such a bad habit that you indulge far too often. You retrieve your precious beverage from your VINTAGE MODUS. Nothing like the classics.


[LW]::::



Mmm. The finest ground beans harvested from a world no longer in existence. You'll settle for nothing less.


[LW]::::



Sometimes it takes a few minutes for the captcha card to develop, but anything good is worth waiting for. Only the best for the best.


[LW]: Leave hub room.



There's really no reason to leave. You're perfectly fine sitting in this dank human factory room with these horridly soft pink monkeys. Yes, you think staying here is definitely the best option. It has nothing to do with the fact that the doors won't recognize your clear superiority. Such ignorant machines really are beneath your consideration anyway.


[LW]: Call for help.



Not that you can anymore, but why would you want to even if you could? You have everything you could want right here. A cup half full of freshly brewed beans. A bunch of tubes that glow enough for you to pretend to read your obscure alien literature. A computer with the ability to rewrite human history. You know, the creature comforts.


[LW]: Find someone else to open the doors



The only person who can get you in and out of this room is that cretin who just blew up your device, unless one of these pedants wake up. It's why you and your cohorts agreed to work with him in the first place - he was an asset, until now.

It doesn't bother you that you can't leave - it just irritates you that you need his help to if you ever did.


[LW]::::



You'll never understand what is so special about having imagination anyway.


[LW]::::



Ugh. How disgusting. One of -them- is wriggling around a little.

[InnerRayg]

[LW]: Tap on glass



Oh please. You have an idea that's so superior it hurts.

[DeeVee]

[LW]: Be the wriggling boy



You are now the wriggling boy.


[???]::::



What will you do?


[???]: Identify surroundings



Sure man, no problem.

looks like you're having a dream.


[???]: Go outside.



Uh. Sure.

How.

Anyone out there?

A lil help?


[LW]: Reveal your nefarious plot!



RAAAAARGLLEBARGLEGRAAAH!

You reveal your nefarious plot to scare the brick out of this worthless peon by jumping out at him from behind something.

Truly, your intellectual abilities are astounding.


[LW]: Succeed



Your plan is a tremendous success.


[LW]::::



You chuckle to yourself. It's always nice to put these hominids in their place.


[LW]::::



Serves him right for existing.


[LW]::::



Is anybody cooler than you?

You seriously doubt it.

[???]: Suddenly appear




[???]::::




[???]::::




[???]: Be cooler than him



Is anyone cooler than you? You seriously doubt it.


[???]::::




[???]::::



Ooph.


[???]::::



Oh man. That hurts.
Yeah. You're gonna rest for a minute.


[???]::::




[???]: Wake up




[???]::::



Oh boy. That hurts. You're not even exaggerating even a little bit.


[???]::::



The HUMANITY. Your anguish is so palpable you could make a nice soup from it if you really wanted to. You're not sure you've ever experienced such excruciating pain. Who knew having some minor bruises could be so terrible!

[???]::::



Guess that's what you get for trying to ride your bike to your job. Life is so hard. But you will persevere. After all, whether people know it yet or not you're gonna be the one to change the world. You're a star in the making. Everyone knows that!

[???]: Reveal name.



There's no way everyone doesn't already know this, but we'll pretend someone out there is just that sheltered.

Your name is PATRICK DARKLIGHTER. Yes, of THE Darklighters, famed for all their exploits a long, long time ago. Isn't this common knowledge already? People in galaxies far, far away know this stuff, you're pretty sure. Anyway, we'll continue on like they don't. After all, you never get tired of telling stories. Especially ones where you're the main character.

Those are the BEST stories.

Anyway, as we were saying, your name is PATRICK DARKLIGHTER, and you love stories. Once you start talking, entire rooms have been known to be drawn into your charisma, your words, just LOST in the mysteries and tangled webs you weave. You can't help it that you like to talk, after all, it's not your fault if other people keep listening. If they didn't want you to talk, they could just stop listening. But no one ever does. ###### you're good at talking. You could just talk all day. Stories, politics, religion, literatute, nerd stuff, photography, just name it.

Of course, when it comes to discussions about OPINIONS, there are none stronger than yours. You believe passionately in the things you believe, and you will suffer no fools. If you believe someone holds an opinion that hurts you or your friends, or anyone, really, you will often lash out in a manner you think of as forceful and succinct, but can really just be cold and biting. Hey, it's not your fault that others aren't as keen on your verbose-yet-succinct methodology. And it's not your fault that other people are just continuously WRONG ABOUT EVERYTHING.

You currently live in a place. It is a cool place, and it is not a thing you like to talk about, oddly. It's a recent move, but hey, sometimes things don't work as planned, and dreams don't always come true. In fact, dreams are really just that- dreams. No matter what anyone else says. DREAMS ARE NOT REAL.

You, of course, are best known for your work in the plastic building-block toy world, as one of its most favorite sons. What's that? Can you build things all on your own? Son, you build things that others would spend lifetimes dreaming of how to build. And you do it in a day. You've made the majority of your life connections through this hobby, and you've heard something about some video game thing through one of them. You're cautiously optimistic. Games are sometimes fun, after all.

Seriously, you could talk about this stuff all day. But I mean, come on, there's no way you didn't already know this stuff. And you've got stuff to do!