Nuva Join the Navy
Rewritten in Technicolor!
~~~Kopaka, Tahu, and Lewa walk down the dusty street. They pass a sign that says "Cracker Jack Naval Base."~~~
Lewa: Hey, look! It's a sailor-crew place!
Kopaka: Hurry up. Our dentist appointment is in thirty-seven minutes and forty-three point five seconds.
Tahu: No hurry, ice-cool, I don't know about you, but I don't have a cavity.
Kopaka: Research has shown the everybody has a ninety-five percent chance of develop--
Tahu: Intelligence. I suppose you're in the other five-- Hey look, a dude with a shiny car!
~~~Cue naval officer driving out of the gates in a Mercedes-Benz.~~~
Lewa: Hey you there! Can I have a ride--
Kopaka: Shut up, you're making us look like cool dudes.
Naval officer: Sure! Just hop right in!
~~~The officer presses a button and all four doors open.~~~
Lewa: Thank you-thanks!
Kopaka: Don't talk to strangers!
Naval officer: Admiral Adam Adder, nice to meet you.
Naval officer: Okay ... , hop right in!
Kopaka: I think I'll stay--
Naval officer: Sir, I said HOP RIGHT IN!!
Kopaka: Yes, um,
Naval officer: Sir.
The three toa jump in the car, which promptly turns around and heads back into the naval base.
Lewa: Where are you drive-taking us?
Naval officer: Right... here. Step right off!
Tahu: Shiny pillars.
Random guy: Hey there! Come on in, wanna see what's inside?
Kopaka: Ninety-nine percent of kidnapping incidents involve--
Random guy: No, you don't have to take off your shoes.
~~~He leads the toa into a small room, with a desk and three chairs.~~~
Random guy: You may, SIT! I mean, you may be seated gentlemen.
Random guy: Good, I'm always excited to hear about interested fellows! Here, take a brochure!
~~~The random guy hands out some brochures.~~~
...that only comes once.
[Fancy image of a toa smiling here.]
Do you want to be all you can be?
Do you want to serve this country before you die?
Then it's time to join... the M.N. navy.
Kopaka: This is a recruiting office isn't--
Random guy: I'm glad to hear it! Yes, there are many educational opportunities available for you in the M.N. Navy. For example,
Kopaka: I said--
Random guy: Here, have a breath mint.
Kopaka: It tastes... funny... I feel... dizzy...
Random guy: Any questions?
Lewa: Can I fly?
Random guy: Not only do we have the latest fighter Gukkos on our fine carriers, but we--
Lewa: Is that a yes?
Random guy: Yes.
Lewa: Was that a "Yes?" yes, or a "Yes!" yes?
Random guy: That was a yes yes.
Lewa: Where do I sign?
Tahu: What types of combustibles are there on your ships?
Random guy: Sign here. And here. And also here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. How many years would you like to serve, Lewa?
Lewa: Um... what does that mean?
Random guy: The higher the number you say, the longer you get to fly!
Lewa: Um... okay! One billion billions!
Random guy: Okay then. Also sign here, and write that number on this dotted line. Tahu?
Tahu: When are you going to answer MY question?!!!
Random guy: Oh yes. Our ships have many combustibles, such as long-range, 2000 pound, super-heavy, armor-piercing, Mark 7, highly explosive--
Tahu: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Does it explode?
Random guy: Yes. Yes, it does.
Tahu: I'll sign on. How many years do I have to serve to get to fire one of those babies?
Random guy: Um... thirty is the minimum.
Tahu: *signs* *signs* *signs* *signs* *signs* *signs* *signs* *signs* *signs* *signs* *signs*...
Random guy: Kopaka?
Random guy: You want to sign?
Random guy: Just sign your name, and you'll be in wonder land.
Kopaka: Wonder land...
Random guy: And I'll give you another breath mint.
Kopaka: Breath mint... I sign...
Random guy: Very good. Now Kopaka, I'll give you two breath mints if you write "one thousand" in that little space.
Kopaka: Breath mints... *writes*
Random guy: Very good. And now for your check ups...
Edited by Toarobot18, Jul 04 2012 - 07:22 PM.