Rewritten in Technicolor!
Welcome again to Toy Wars! According to the original topic, this was my 383 posts special!
This Comedy follows the adventures and battles between many toys in an abandoned mansion, though it primarily focuses on the experiences of the Bionicle sets. There will be an emphasis on reader interactability through guest stars, although you may have to wait a bit while I republish the old chapters.
Guest star form:
What toy are you? (Preferably humanoid, or a toy animal/robot/alien of some sort. So no bouncy balls!):
What are your goals for your future household empire?:
Who would you like to ally with? (This doesn't mean it's going to work out.):
Any rules, laws, standards, or traditions within your army?:
I will choose the kinds of toys your army consists of, based on the above and the comedy's current needs. The number of toys will be determined by how powerful the toys I choose for you are. You may last though out the entire comedy, or you just might be killed by teddy bears in your first chapter. If you die, you may start a new group, but it must be different then your previous one.
In the beginning...
Commander Nocturne stood over his troops. Far across the main living room, the Bionicle sets had gathered. This was the moment they had been planning for days. Their tactics, enemies, new allies, and future plans were to be announced. Banners made out of the front images from Bionicle instruction booklets were mounted on toothpicks, which had been stuck into the couch around Nocturne. The word BIONICLE stood proudly on each one. Around the troops, large wooden building blocks served as walls, protecting the room from the hallway, dining room, and stairs. Nocturne stood up and began his speech:
Nocturne: BIONICLE sets, large and small: we gather here as the Living Room Bionicle Nation, the greatest of all the Bionicle and Lego organizations in this house. We have the most troops, the largest fortress, and the best-
Tahu Mata 1: Yeah, yeah, get on with it. What's the point?
Nocturne: Have him disassembled!
Tahu Mata 1: NOOOOOOOO...
(Authors note: disassembling a set “kills” it, when reconstructed it has a new mind and personality. You could also use the pieces to make MOCs...)
(Three Rashki take the Tahu Mata underneath the couch.)
Nocturne: Now where was I? Oh yes, we have the best leader, and the best location. The time is ripe. However, the upstairs Playmobil encampment is well located as well. At the top of the stairs. That alone makes it easy to defend. However, there is something that makes it far worse. Only my top secret spy, whose name you will never know, can tell you the details! Kopaka Phantoka!
Kopaka Phantoka: Yes?
Nocturne: Tell us what you learned.
Kopaka Phantoka: They have a large defense system which consists of one of those weird things where you pump the handle and it squirts water. Only it doesn't squirt water, it squirts some strange liquid that they took from the kitchen. And... (now here's the dangerous part) when you pump it, and place a candle in front of it, flames come out! I've seen them testing it. It's terrible! It melts plastic!
(The Bionicle sets shriek in horror.)
Kopaka Phantoka: They've put down some metal foil on the stairs so that it won't set the universe on fire, but it'll still burn us!
All troops: OH NO!
Nocturne: But don't be alarmed, I'll let those with larger amounts of armor go first.
Axonn: I think those with less armor should go first, since they're less useful, and it doesn't really matter if they get killed.
Kopaka Mata 1: The ones without armor are the braver ones.
Axonn: Yes, your the bravest of us all...
Nocturne: Yes, I am. Now, here is the reason we must attack this base. The Northern Playmobil Federation is getting too powerful. New Playmobil figures join every day, and they're increasing their training by the minute. If our Bionicle organization wants to succeed in our quest, then we must strike now, before it's too late! Volunteers?
Nocturne: OK, I choose Axonn and Kopaka Mata 1, and both of them will choose ten people to come with them, and each of those people will choose ten more people to come as well.
Axonn: But that's all our troops!
Nocturne: Off topic! Kopaka, Axonn, take your picks. After everybody has chosen, the chosen people will gather here again.
Nocturne: Now wasn't that fair? I'm such a good leader. I let the people choose. Now, prepare for battle! We leave in one hour.
(In the corner, hiding behind a lamp.)
Melissa: (In a girly voice.) Hey Anna, we're gunna get those boys, aren't we?
Anna: Yep. (She giggles.) They'll leave the base unguarded, and we'll sneak in, and the barbies will, like, rule! This fortress will be, like, ours!
Melissa: (Whilst giggling.) Wow, those dumb boys will never see us coming! And wait 'till Ken here's the plan! It's like, so cool!
Anna: I can't wait to see those Bionicle banners replaced with our Barbie flags!
Melissa: Victory will, like, totally be ours!
One hour, six minutes later, Colonel Kardas stood at the bottom of the stairs:
Colonel Kardas: This is it, Bionicles, it is time! We march up the stairs!
Gali Mistika 1: Why are you leading us, not Commander Nocturne? Where is he?
Colonel Kardas: He's still back at the base. He said he was too busy to come, and that I could lead the troops.
Gali Mistika 1: Uh huh.
Colonel Kardas: Forward, MARCH! Err, I mean, forward, CLIMB!
(The Bionicle sets begin climbing the stairs, standing on top of each other to help each other up.)
At the top of the stairs:
Playmobil General: The monsters are attacking! Prepare the great cannon!
Playmobil Pirate: Yes, sir!
Playmobil Construction Worker: Sir, they're in range!
Playmobil General: Pump!
Playmobil Police Officers and Construction Worker: Ready!
Playmobil General: Light the flame!
Playmobil Police Officer: Lit!
Playmobil General: Aim for the big dragon!
Playmobil Pirate: Check!
Playmobil General: Fire!
(Half-way up the foil-covered stairs, flames shoot out at the Bionicle sets.)
Colonel Kardas: AH! The heat! I'm melting! Melting! I'm meltinnnnnnngg...
Lieutenant Pohatu Phantoka: Charge you idiotic sets! It's just flames! (He runs as fast as he can down the stairs.)
Second Lieutenant Carapar: I guess that leaves me in charge! Attack! You know if you retreat now, Nocturne will have you taken apart anyway! Victory or death!
(Dramatic Star Wars music plays.)
At the Living Room Bionicle Nation base:
Nocturne: (Sitting alone on the couch, on his paper plate “throne.”) Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-day. My, oh my, what a wonderful day...
(Lieutenant Pohatu Phantoka walks in.)
Lieutenant Pohatu Phantoka: Hi.
Nocturne: Hi. I was just, ah, entertaining myself.
Lieutenant Pohatu Phantoka: I see.
Nocturne: What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the battle!
Lieutenant Pohatu Phantoka: I fled.
Lieutenant Pohatu Phantoka: Well, I really didn't want to die, and they were aiming for the leaders!
Nocturne: Good leaders would die for their country!
Lieutenant Pohatu Phantoka: I guess you're not a good leader either then. I didn't see you on the field!
Nocturne: Rahkshi! Have this fool disassembled!
Nocturne: WHAT DID I SAY!?
Lieutenant Pohatu Phantoka: The pity. Looks like you sent them away to fight too.
Nocturne: What?! No gaurds!
Lieutenant Pohatu Phantoka: What a concept. I think you've been leader long enough! How many people did you take apart to build that private suite of yours? You're cruel, stupid, and a bunch of other things that Toarobot18 can't say on BZP. And you know what, I think I found a perfect replacement!
(Pohatu raises up a plastic “drill.”)
Nocturne: No, no, no, spare me! I never took you apart, did I?
Lieutenant Pohatu Phantoka: Yeah, 'cause your Rahkshi weren't here! You'd make a nice addition to the back wall of my-
Ken: My suite. Girls, let's take those flags down!
(200 barbies march up.)
Ken: This fortress is ours!
Barbies: Barbie! Barbie! Barbie! Barbie! Barbie!
Word count: 1174
Edited by Toarobot18, Jul 03 2012 - 05:26 PM.