563 replies to this topic

[Ultimate Sybre]

Comic 14 is up and I tried out a knew format this time I also got new backgrounds I also made some of them myself.

That's a lot of droids! What will we do now?

And that green and blue Matoran with the Kaukau looks JUST like Wairu, the previous Sybre, but Wairu has a Hau. What a coincidence!

[Axilus Prime]

Dude...WHY. WHY. You haven't even been on this site a year, and your grammar is horrible, so don't make jokes about noobs. (ZAP!!!!!!!111)
And if that wasn't intentional...Mata Nui, then I'd lose all respect for you.
By the way, those are not new backgrounds. They're just even more game files.
The Hakann getting nervous around girls was funny, at least. I didn't expect that.
"You forgot to capitalize every word except S in Stone"? Letters, not words. I am starting to doubt your knowledge of English.

Overall, this comic was a disappointment. Try harder, and use proper grammar from now on. I always imagine your characters sounding stupid and having Zimmwad intelligence because of this horrible grammar.

[Damaracx 7.0]

Dude...WHY. WHY. You haven't even been on this site a year, and your grammar is horrible, so don't make jokes about noobs. (ZAP!!!!!!!111)
And if that wasn't intentional...Mata Nui, then I'd lose all respect for you.
By the way, those are not new backgrounds. They're just even more game files.
The Hakann getting nervous around girls was funny, at least. I didn't expect that.
"You forgot to capitalize every word except S in Stone"? Letters, not words. I am starting to doubt your knowledge of English.

Overall, this comic was a disappointment. Try harder, and use proper grammar from now on. I always imagine your characters sounding stupid and having Zimmwad intelligence because of this horrible grammar.

First off this comic is happening in Mata Nui. Second off I called the backgrounds new because they were new to this comic. Third off the quote "You forgot to capitalize every word except S in Stone" was made to be a joke on Purpose.

[Damaracx 7.0]

COMIC 15 is up it is large.

[Axilus Prime]

Oh. Sorry about that rant, then.

[Damaracx 7.0]

Oh. Sorry about that rant, then.

That's ok any way you should know my flying Muaka jwas inspired by your flying Muaka joke and now I think I shall make..........FLYING USSAL CRAB.

Edited by TOA PIRAKA HAKANN 2.0, Mar 29 2012 - 06:17 AM.

[Axilus Prime]

This new comic was funny. I liked the HAY IS FOR HORSES! line and the flying over the guards. Also, the one pose scene was funny. What happened to my instructions on posing though? Make poses as you go along and save them into a spritesheet. Even if it causes you to take a bit of time and effort.

Who said the awkward line in the elevator? That scene didn't make much sense. It was still funny though. I almost thought they'd decide not to use the elevator.

I smiled at the flying Muaka, thanks for that reference. And it had a cool hang glider kite thingy too!

I noticed a real running joke that isn't a joke about your graphical failures. "Who knows what this scene is for..." I like that one a bit, though it isn't hilarious. You're on the right track though.

A Makoki stone...yup. You're definitely doing a saga-comedy.

Overall: You're getting better, and in a year or so, you could become a great comic maker. Please fix the grammar though. That includes intentional text talk such as "Wut r u doing?"

[Damaracx 7.0]

This new comic was funny. I liked the HAY IS FOR HORSES! line and the flying over the guards. Also, the one pose scene was funny. What happened to my instructions on posing though? Make poses as you go along and save them into a spritesheet. Even if it causes you to take a bit of time and effort.

Who said the awkward line in the elevator? That scene didn't make much sense. It was still funny though. I almost thought they'd decide not to use the elevator.

I smiled at the flying Muaka, thanks for that reference. And it had a cool hang glider kite thingy too!

I noticed a real running joke that isn't a joke about your graphical failures. "Who knows what this scene is for..." I like that one a bit, though it isn't hilarious. You're on the right track though.

A Makoki stone...yup. You're definitely doing a saga-comedy.

Overall: You're getting better, and in a year or so, you could become a great comic maker. Please fix the grammar though. That includes intentional text talk such as "Wut r u doing?"

I know with this comic I tried to stay away from using the letter U to symbolize as the word you and the same with other words.

Edited by TOA PIRAKA HAKANN 2.0, Mar 30 2012 - 04:46 PM.

[Damaracx 7.0]

COMIC 16 is up.

[Axilus Prime]

Good job on the lines joke and the running joke used again.

By the way, when you make two characters say the same thing and add lines to show it, no need to put their names script style behind the words.

Oh Karz, that's a cool villain scene with all the Bohrok and Rahi. I see you made Technical Difficulties Vahki into a running joke too. Nice.

The advertising Bohrok was funny, classic vacation paradise! Ironic. Tahu gives evil waiting music while a Vahki gives normal waiting music.
Heart Attack? Lol.

That was about the fastest and least funny getting to an artifact I have ever seen, but the rest makes up for it.

And one more thing...YOU FINALLY IMPROVED YOUR GRAMMAR! Good job, it seems it'll take you much less than a year to become a great comic maker.

[Damaracx 7.0]

Good job on the lines joke and the running joke used again.

By the way, when you make two characters say the same thing and add lines to show it, no need to put their names script style behind the words.

Oh Karz, that's a cool villain scene with all the Bohrok and Rahi. I see you made Technical Difficulties Vahki into a running joke too. Nice.

The advertising Bohrok was funny, classic vacation paradise! Ironic. Tahu gives evil waiting music while a Vahki gives normal waiting music.
Heart Attack? Lol.

That was about the fastest and least funny getting to an artifact I have ever seen, but the rest makes up for it.

And one more thing...YOU FINALLY IMPROVED YOUR GRAMMAR! Good job, it seems it'll take you much less than a year to become a great comic maker.

Didn't expect to get such a good review I was kind of rushed when I was making this comic and do know why I have some spelling errors in some comics? Because the keys on the key board screw up A LOT.

[Axilus Prime]

Oh. Didn't expect that.

[Damaracx 7.0]

IMPORTANT UPDATE: Personality sheet has just been updated, Concept art has been added, New credits have been added.

[Damaracx 7.0]

COMIC 17 is up.

[Ultimate Sybre]

COMIC 17 is up.

The series would be much better if it were called SybreNetX, Mr. Grumpy Pants!

[Soran]

Nice comics, I like them a lot. The comedy and graphics are improving since the last time I saw them. nice job, and I like this comic especially. I like how the character pointed out how unoriginal the villain's lines are.

great job on the comics and keep up the good work,
~Soran

[Axilus Prime]

Yay, you're back! I do enjoy these sometimes, and this is one of those times. I like the repetitive name suggestions and your reference to my love of bacon. Nice, the running joke about the lines appeared again.
LAVA WATER BOHROK?! LOL! The powers are contradictory...

Giant Takua Industries was simply annoying...

LOL, TRUE. THE POWER OF POSES CANNOT BE DEFEATED. Seriously, make some for everyone.

The boat scene was funny. IT DEFIES PHYSICS AS MUCH AS VEZON DOES!
TWO LIGHTSABERS IT'S GENERAL GRIEVOUS--wait, why isn't he even using one of them? He looks like Voldemort, holding it like that.

BUT...I like the parody of LOMN Lhikan Head and Obi-Wan. AND IT LED TO SURVIVAL! This is precisely what I meant by "randomness as a plot device."

Lines. LOLPUNS. Wait, why is that villain standing there cheering with the heroes? DUN DUN DUN...

[Damaracx 7.0]

My comic now has a real name! Hooray!

[Ultimate Sybre]

My comic now has a real name! Hooray!

You can PM a staff member to change the name of the topic.



Edit: To be specific, contact the Forum Leader (or one of the Leaders) of the forum. For instance, -Windrider- leads Comics, so you should contact him about getting the title changed. Or, you can simply report the opening post in the topic with the required information.
-Wind-

wait I'm Windrider o_o

Edited by -Windrider-, Apr 12 2012 - 12:13 PM.

[Damaracx 7.0]

Ni

My comic now has a real name! Hooray!

You can PM a staff member to change the name of the topic.



Edit: To be specific, contact the Forum Leader (or one of the Leaders) of the forum. For instance, -Windrider- leads Comics, so you should contact him about getting the title changed. Or, you can simply report the opening post in the topic with the required information.
-Wind-

wait I'm Windrider o_o

That is not what I meant I just wanted a specific name for this comic series just in case I make more.

[Ultimate Sybre]

Ni

My comic now has a real name! Hooray!

You can PM a staff member to change the name of the topic.



Edit: To be specific, contact the Forum Leader (or one of the Leaders) of the forum. For instance, -Windrider- leads Comics, so you should contact him about getting the title changed. Or, you can simply report the opening post in the topic with the required information.
-Wind-

wait I'm Windrider o_o

That is not what I meant I just wanted a specific name for this comic series just in case I make more.

Okay. This was just a suggestion.

[Damaracx 7.0]

Comic 18 is up along with three new concept art pictures.

[Damaracx 7.0]

Comic 19 is now up it is short but a little interesting......

[Damaracx 7.0]

COMIC 20 is now up!

[Axilus Prime]

I like how TNG's temper and love of pie and bacon are obviously demonstrated, plus the reference to me disliking Giant Takua Industries. However, in that joke you made good use of it.

Battle droid scene was funny, good continuity. WOOHOO POSES IN THE BATTLE! AWESOME. I have been waiting for those for so long.

Rebuilt? Metrutoran was an upgrade from Moltoran, Moltoran was a substitute because the Matoran could never return to their original forms.
But then a Moltoran rebuilds himself into a Metrutoran...strange. I find this disturbing. (Kidding)

LOL Hau Nuva jokes. WUT THE--IT'S ISSAC NEWTON?! That was another good use of randomness.

Beware the ultimate corniness! And the cliffhanger...

Good job, your grammar has also improved, and I'll read the next two tomorrow!

[Damaracx 7.0]

I like how TNG's temper and love of pie and bacon are obviously demonstrated, plus the reference to me disliking Giant Takua Industries. However, in that joke you made good use of it.

Battle droid scene was funny, good continuity. WOOHOO POSES IN THE BATTLE! AWESOME. I have been waiting for those for so long.

Rebuilt? Metrutoran was an upgrade from Moltoran, Moltoran was a substitute because the Matoran could never return to their original forms.
But then a Moltoran rebuilds himself into a Metrutoran...strange. I find this disturbing. (Kidding)

LOL Hau Nuva jokes. WUT THE--IT'S ISSAC NEWTON?! That was another good use of randomness.

Beware the ultimate corniness! And the cliffhanger...

Good job, your grammar has also improved, and I'll read the next two tomorrow!

Ok. Poses in battle are AWESOME!!!!!

[Damaracx 7.0]

Comic 21 is up. Also I will now be able to work on my comics at night.

[Axilus Prime]

WOW. When you said Comic 19 was short, I didn't expect it. But that made no sense.

Also, I would avoid using the name Bob. It brings reference to a certain cookie-loving Matoran, which I'm sure is not what you intended.

@Comic 20 Too many panels in the intro. That already qualifies as a basic animation.

LOL, the entire Damareeo and Bob scene was funny, especially the Fred part.

Nice job, you're learning how to make shorter, less overwhelming and time-consuming comics.

@Comic 21 SCRATCH WHAT I JUST SAID TO KARZ, THIS ONE IS GINORMOUS! And that's not a good thing. I try to keep all my comics 12-panel now.

Still, on the the main part: The humor!

WHOA, this reminds me of something I did, but you did it more impressively. THE RUNNING JOKES ARE BACK AAAAAAH!

Thanks for making me a super recurring PGS, I haven't seen the others for a while. It would be more fair to put them in too.

Holy Karz, THREE unknown scenes and counting. The boat scene was funny as always, says I.

BOHROK! Nice. I don't expect poses for them, since they're...well, unposable in this kit.

Wow, finding these Makoki stones is easy. But what were they to be used for?

Best comic you've ever made, TPH. I'm proud of you.

[Damaracx 7.0]

WOW. When you said Comic 19 was short, I didn't expect it. But that made no sense.

Also, I would avoid using the name Bob. It brings reference to a certain cookie-loving Matoran, which I'm sure is not what you intended.

@Comic 20 Too many panels in the intro. That already qualifies as a basic animation.

LOL, the entire Damareeo and Bob scene was funny, especially the Fred part.

Nice job, you're learning how to make shorter, less overwhelming and time-consuming comics.

@Comic 21 SCRATCH WHAT I JUST SAID TO KARZ, THIS ONE IS GINORMOUS! And that's not a good thing. I try to keep all my comics 12-panel now.

Still, on the the main part: The humor!

WHOA, this reminds me of something I did, but you did it more impressively. THE RUNNING JOKES ARE BACK AAAAAAH!

Thanks for making me a super recurring PGS, I haven't seen the others for a while. It would be more fair to put them in too.

Holy Karz, THREE unknown scenes and counting. The boat scene was funny as always, says I.

BOHROK! Nice. I don't expect poses for them, since they're...well, unposable in this kit.

Wow, finding these Makoki stones is easy. But what were they to be used for?

Best comic you've ever made, TPH. I'm proud of you.

Thanks The reason why then other PGSs have not apeared for awhile is becuase well Tecnokua (I am not even going to bother finding out if I spelled the name correctly) Was kinda of a more reacurring character for alwhile and Sybre.......he is just going to look awesome in COMIC 24. Bob is the mascot of LEGO UNIVERSE (seeing you did not know who I was talking about you have probably never played the game.) Makoki stones will be used for unlocking the chamber for the Mask of Light and used for the uhhhhhhhh well the rest is information that will remain classified until release. COMIC 19 would have made more sence to a LU (LEGO UNIVERSE) fan. Oh yes and did you know that I have Three different Bohrok Pahrak poses it MNOG style? Any way I may as well say this because it was very predictible, any way, I am finishing my MATORAN PIRAKA 4.0 characters I have at least six done.

P.S @Kreos, Sybre's is going to be AWESOME in the upcoming comics.

Edited by TOA PIRAKA HAKANN 2.0, Apr 13 2012 - 11:54 PM.

[Ultimate Sybre]

[quote name='TOA PIRAKA HAKANN 2.0' timestamp='1334379057' post='238598'
[/quote]Thanks The reason why then other PGSs have not apeared for awhile is becuase well Tecnokua (I am not even going to bother finding out if I spelled the name correctly) Was kinda of a more reacurring character for alwhile and Sybre.......he is just going to look awesome in COMIC 24. Bob is the mascot of LEGO UNIVERSE (seeing you did not know who I was talking about you have probably never played the game.) Makoki stones will be used for unlocking the chamber for the Mask of Light and used for the uhhhhhhhh well the rest is information that will remain classified until release. COMIC 19 would have made more sence to a LU (LEGO UNIVERSE) fan. Oh yes and did you know that I have Three different Bohrok Pahrak poses it MNOG style? Any way I may as well say this because it was very predictible, any way, I am finishing my MATORAN PIRAKA 4.0 characters I have at least six done.

P.S @Kreos, Sybre's is going to be AWESOME in the upcoming comics.
[/quote]I guess I can't blame you for not using PGSes frequently, unlike me.

And why are you using LU?

[Damaracx 7.0]

[quote name='Kreos' timestamp='1334385165' post='238661']
[quote name='TOA PIRAKA HAKANN 2.0' timestamp='1334379057' post='238598'
[/quote]Thanks The reason why then other PGSs have not apeared for awhile is becuase well Tecnokua (I am not even going to bother finding out if I spelled the name correctly) Was kinda of a more reacurring character for alwhile and Sybre.......he is just going to look awesome in COMIC 24. Bob is the mascot of LEGO UNIVERSE (seeing you did not know who I was talking about you have probably never played the game.) Makoki stones will be used for unlocking the chamber for the Mask of Light and used for the uhhhhhhhh well the rest is information that will remain classified until release. COMIC 19 would have made more sence to a LU (LEGO UNIVERSE) fan. Oh yes and did you know that I have Three different Bohrok Pahrak poses it MNOG style? Any way I may as well say this because it was very predictible, any way, I am finishing my MATORAN PIRAKA 4.0 characters I have at least six done.

P.S @Kreos, Sybre's is going to be AWESOME in the upcoming comics.
[/quote]I guess I can't blame you for not using PGSes frequently, unlike me.

And why are you using LU?
[/quote]LU was awesome.

[Ultimate Sybre]

[quote name='TOA PIRAKA HAKANN 2.0' timestamp='1334387693' post='238677']
[quote name='Kreos' timestamp='1334385165' post='238661']
[quote name='TOA PIRAKA HAKANN 2.0' timestamp='1334379057' post='238598'
[/quote]Thanks The reason why then other PGSs have not apeared for awhile is becuase well Tecnokua (I am not even going to bother finding out if I spelled the name correctly) Was kinda of a more reacurring character for alwhile and Sybre.......he is just going to look awesome in COMIC 24. Bob is the mascot of LEGO UNIVERSE (seeing you did not know who I was talking about you have probably never played the game.) Makoki stones will be used for unlocking the chamber for the Mask of Light and used for the uhhhhhhhh well the rest is information that will remain classified until release. COMIC 19 would have made more sence to a LU (LEGO UNIVERSE) fan. Oh yes and did you know that I have Three different Bohrok Pahrak poses it MNOG style? Any way I may as well say this because it was very predictible, any way, I am finishing my MATORAN PIRAKA 4.0 characters I have at least six done.

P.S @Kreos, Sybre's is going to be AWESOME in the upcoming comics.
[/quote]I guess I can't blame you for not using PGSes frequently, unlike me.

And why are you using LU?
[/quote]LU was awesome.
[/quote]It was although I never played it.

[Soran]

Alright, time for some constructive criticism.

I like how the comics are, especially the most recent one. It was really good. but the one thing I have an issue with, and I'm not sure if others do either, but when you make the comics as long as they are (Since you're using the mnog kit) it will make the comics long to load. Sometimes my computer freezes just trying to load it. I think that you're doing good, but longer doesn't always mean better.

Also: you have a lot of empty space in the panels to fit more text. Instead of making another panel, you could try to fit the text into the other panel. Also most of the battle scenes also have a lot of empty space, don't be afraid to crop out parts of backgrounds. The comics are about the characters, not the pretty backgrounds.

The main thing I think you should work on is condensing the comics from 30ish panels to 20 or less. I think that the comics are a little large considering that 1/4 of most of the comics have no talking in them or just a simple sentence. An example would be instead of having 3 panels with 1 sentence being said by the same character, have it where you can fit it into 1 panel. It will take less work, and deliver the same effect. Only time I think no text should be in a panel is if there were to be an awkward silence from what someone had said or some kind of action.

Not much to say about your graphics excape I think they are improving dramatically from when you started to current times. I'm really impressed with how your doing with them. I think the jokes are pretty good as well. I like the running jokes, I've always been a fan of comics with running jokes. Only thing I can suggest about the comedy is to try to get as much verbal jokes/sarcasm due to the lack of mobility from the mnog kit.

Either way I think you're doing a good job on the series,

~Soran

[Damaracx 7.0]

COMIC 22 is up and it has the CHIMORU KIT!

[Axilus Prime]

LOL. Is this making fun of my use of multiple kits? It's funny anyway. Nice and easy to read.

[Damaracx 7.0]

LOL. Is this making fun of my use of multiple kits? It's funny anyway. Nice and easy to read.

I am not making fun of your multi kit use infact you could say that I like the idea of multi-kit use I wanted to test the water with Chimoru kit as you can see it went well.

COMIC 23 is up!

[Axilus Prime]

Positive effect? I'll say! Try and make a unique hilarious effect for the next few, if you can.

[Damaracx 7.0]

Positive effect? I'll say! Try and make a unique hilarious effect for the next few, if you can.

Well after I make the entertain-the-audience-while-I make-spites I will go back to the saga we were in.

[Damaracx 7.0]

COMIC 24 is up.

[Damaracx 7.0]

COMIC 25 is up!

Edited by TOA PIRAKA HAKANN 2.0, Apr 22 2012 - 12:59 PM.