The Comedies Critics Club (Banner Needed)
Hello, and welcome to the Comedy Critics Club section of the Comedic Federation!
Note: Please, read this entire post before requesting to be a critic or requesting a review!
We all know that feeling: You’ve just completed your best comedy to date. It’s your masterpiece, your crowning achievement, a tale that will go down in history! Your name will be mentioned with Togariku, Fresh Makuta of Bel-Air, and Bionicle Guru!
So you post it.
And… no one reviews it.
But don’t panic- that’s where we come in.
The purpose of the Comedies Critics Club is to allow any author of a comedy to get a review for said comedy. With oh, so many members on BZPower, and more coming every day, it is no surprise that many great comedies are overlooked and don't get many – if any – good reviews.
As I'm sure many of you know, most posts in comedies are bits of spam-filled praise. Well, this club is designed to give in-depth reviews to comedies, giving good feedback, and tips to improve. A small group of members have come together in this club to offer their time to review your comedies. All you authors have to do is post here with a link to your comedy asking for a review, and one will be given [after you read the whole first post, of course!]. However, it must be understood that everyone here is human, and people do have lives, contrary to popular belief. Do not fret if we’re a little late in getting to you!
Guidelines for Requets (Banner Needed)
All authors [and critics] must adhere to Comedies Forum Standards as outlined by the Forum Leader. Neither myself, nor any of the critics are responsible for any comedies being closed because they violated one of BZPower’s rules. We go to your comedy upon request to review, not to reprimand or arm-chair moderate.
Request limit ~ At this time, there is a limit of five chapters per review request and authors may request only one review at a given time.
Civility ~ We will not tolerate any rudeness towards any of our staff. Also, do not start spamming this topic with complaints of “My comedy hasn't been reviewed yet!” and so on. Additionally, do not PM any critics along the same lines [or myself, for that matter]. This may, and most likely will, be considered harassment, and you will be reported to the proper authorities and taken care of. Not to mention we will never review your comedy. Please, no spamming in this topic. If you see an error, or it has been a while and no one has reviewed your comedy, you may politely PM myself asking whatever it is you want to ask. Make sure, however, that it has been at least a week since you requested a review. Of course, if we made a mistake when adding your comedy to the list, feel free to PM me, or post in this topic politely, pointing out the error.
Comedies only ~ No, we will not review your Short Story, or Epic, no matter how good they are. End of story.
Comedy Size ~ Your comedy does not need to be finished, nor does it have to be past the first chapter. It's your choice when you want a review, or how much you want to be reviewed. Your comedy can be in any state when you request a review.
Back-Seat Reviewing ~ We've all heard the term “back-seat driving”. This is what happens when a passenger in your car [if you drive, of course] starts telling you what lane to turn into, when to brake, when to accelerate, etc. It can get really annoying. Back-seat reviewing is the same idea, where writers explicitly tell us how to do our job. We're here for you, but we also know what we're doing.
So please, don't tell us how your want your comedy reviewed. If you have a preference, you may explain such in your own topic. However, whether or not the critic reviewing your Comedy takes such into account, the Comedies Critics Club cannot be blamed. We're writing reviews how we feel will help you best. Only if the review you receive goes against the BZPower rules do you have the option of reporting such grievances to me [ibrow/Kermit the Frog], the Head, or the Forum Leaders of the comedy forum [currently: Hahli Husky and McSmeag]. If you have a problem with your review, please PM me and I will review your situation.
Favoritism ~ Writers may not request that a specific critic review his or her comedy. A critic will be assigned to your comedy, based on his or her availability at that given time. If you don’t like the critic assigned, tough- we’re all hardworking people, and we’re dedicating our time so that the authors of BZP get recognition. All critics are either handpicked by myself, or have undergone heavy scrutiny and screening. We have full faith in them.
Begging ~ It is not alright for an author to beg for a review. I understand that you may not get reviews, or if you do all you get are reviews filled with spam, but that does not mean you are allowed to beg and spam. Don't give us that. Just post saying you'd like a review [following the guidelines below], and one will be given. This follows under the rule of Civility. If we catch any wind of begging, your comedy will most likely not be reviewed.
Requesting a Review (Banner Needed)
Copy and paste the following form into your post, adding in the necessary information:
[/b][url=(your comedy url)]Comedy Title[/url]
Status of your comedy: Beginning/In Progress/Finished.
Chapters to be reviewed:
You must link to your comedy. Do not say 'It's in my sig'. Your request will be ignored if you do. Then, you must put your name under the 'author' section. After that, please choose one of the options for your status. If your comedy is just a few chapters and you plan to write more, put Beginning. If it's more that than, put In Progress. If it's finished, put Finished. Then list how many chapters you would like to be reviewed. For example: Chapters to be reviewed: Chapters 2-4, 7. Also, if your comedy is pages long, and has many chapters, don't expect us to review all of them. Choose a few, and list those- I would recommend including the first chapter. Due to time restraints for our staff, we are only accepting FIVE chapters at a time.
General Rules (Banner Needed)
I will be checking over each and every review, to assure that is of the appropriate quality. If I find one which does not give enough insight, then I will PM that critic asking them to edit their post and give them pointers how to improve.
We value quality as a very high priority, and if you find that we have not performed to the best of our abilities, please, don’t hesitate to PM me.
The Review Staff (Banner Needed)
The Head is not assigned comedies to review.
Position: Head of Reviews
What I Look For: The quality of the plot, the quality, realism, humour, and diversity of the characters, spelling and grammar, and other general factors.
Other: PM me if you have any questions, comments, concerns, complaints, etc. about the club or if you wish to become a Critic.
What I Look For: Hilarity and substance
Other: Cheese is bad. Pie is worse. Avoid them.
What I Look For: Good grammar and spelling; actual humour
Other: Please don't try to force humour down our throats. It's easier to just subtly weave it into the story.
What I Look For: A nice amount of humor, that's actually funny(If it's controversial and not too offensive I'll probably laugh), and somewhat of a plot, that isn't too random, but not to serious.
Other: Try to make your characters tolerable. =P
Applying to become a critic:(banner needed)
To become a critic, you must PM me [ibrow/Kermit the Frog]. I do not want this thread to be filled up with requests to become a critic. Also, if you wish to become a critic, or are a critic, you may still request a review.
Critic Screening ~ Critics Screening just means that I will screen everyone before they become a critic, and ask them if they are able to fulfill the guidelines set for critics below. I will make my decision, and ask one of the current critics for input. If we are not in agreement, we will send your request out to the other critics for a vote. If you are rejected, you may reapply after a two month waiting period. If you are rejected a second time, you may not reapply.
Note: To save yourself the embarrassment of being rejected twice, please only apply if you are serious about delivering in-depth reviews to requesters.
Critic duties ~ Every comedy will have a critic assigned to it. I will be keeping careful track of how many go to each critic, so that no one person gets an advanced workload. If a critic does not complete his review within 14 days of the assignment, one of the other critics or the Head will review it and the critic in question will receive a strike. If the critic has informed us beforehand that he will be unable to review, the strike will be dropped. When a critic accumulates three strikes he will be released. To reapply, the critic must wait two months. If a critic is released twice, they will not be allowed to return to the CCC. Once again, please only apply if you can review at least one comedy every two weeks.
Reviews ~ Each critic is required to give a full, in-depth review. Following these (WARNING: LINK GOES TO ARCHIVE) guidelines set by Nikira in her blog [sure, it was written for art, but it works for literature, too] would be good to do. You must give positive feedback and constructive criticism. WE WILL NOT accept simple posts saying “I love it! KUTGW 3443543/2323!”. If you like the comedy, tell the writer why. If you don't, tell the author why politely, and say how said author can improve. Some good advice would be that of ToM Dracone given to a different Comedies Critic Club [please follow this advice, too]:
Here is a piece of advice: Only sign up if you feel like you can actually give helpful, thorough, and polite reviews. It won't do much good to just say "hey, this is good, you should change these two things here" or to criticize so harshly it becomes flaming. Go into detail, explain things, et cetera. And if you think a comedy is absolutely terrible, for goodness' sakes don't say that. Explain what can be improved, and if you can't find anything to actually compliment, see if there's something that has the potential to be funny or creative and say how to use that potential. That's the sort of review that helps people.
Civility ~ Same thing for critics. Civility is crucial. We will not tolerate anyone being rude to anyone else, and will take necessary action for the action to be punished.
Review Notification ~ As soon as you review a comedy, post saying so! Give a link and the author's name, and tell how much you reviewed of it [or if you reviewed every chapter they asked for, then just put 'all']. It's that simple. Just take thirty seconds of your time and post to say what you reviewed. PMing either me will also be accepted.
General Stuff ~ If a critic spots a comedy they think needs more exposure, they may note so in their review notification post- Jalina will bold it on the reviewed list to show that it is recommended. If you do not give proper reviews, you might be removed from the critics list and placed on a suspension. Of course, you'll have a few warnings and chances, but if you continuously give spammy or rude reviews, you will be asked to leave. So, please, just follow these guidelines. I will be working with you guys to make sure you give good reviews. If you have any questions about a proper review, DO NOT hesitate to PM me.
Extra Review Guidelines ~ Once a critic has finished their review, the comedy should be given a grade (whether it be a percentage or fraction is up to the critic). Any comedy that is given a score equal to 85% or higher will also be bolded for recommendation.
Banners you can use for advertising:
Please feel free to make some of your own for the CCC and the Comedic Federation!
As you may have noticed, several of the lines in this post say "banner needed"- if any of you have banner making skills, feel free to try it out- you just need to include the text and some stylized background!