136 replies to this topic

[Indecisive Individual]

Okay, here's the review topic for my epic Dark Mirror: Part I, which is the sequel to my other epic, Shadows. The topic itself is found here.

Credit to Shattered Mask Productions for the banner.

Comments and constructive criticism are very welcome.

- Paradoxophobia

Edited by Paradoxophobia, Apr 02 2012 - 02:19 PM.

[Content with Life]

So. Newest epic.

Incommodo's in a facility for the insane? I see.

[Indecisive Individual]

So. Newest epic.

Incommodo's in a facility for the insane? I see.

Well, let's face it, he's Incommodo, and he came back from a parallel universe with a story about how he saved all of time.
Where else would he be? XD

[Content with Life]

I don't know, walking the streets, homeless and ill-treated?

[Indecisive Individual]

*Shrugs*

I dunno. I always pictured him locked up somewhere.

[Wotsiznaim]

So, new character, I suppose Pirok will return at some point, and that Reichenbach will have some rudimentary common sense? So far this seems to be better than Shadows, so don't disappoint me!

On an off-topic note, why not check out my shamelessly-advertised prologue of my epic?

[Indecisive Individual]

Actually, Les appeared in the first chapter of Shadows, Reichenbach has some common sense, and this will be better than Shadows. You won't be disappointed.

I've already checked it, looks good, I'll be posting my opinion in your review topic ASAP.

[Wotsiznaim]

Ah, forgot about him then.

Ahem, yes, ASAP. Very soon.

[Indecisive Individual]

Yep. Reread C1 of Shadows, he's there. The murderer with the ring'll be showing up too.

Indeed.

[Content with Life]

So Arkrak will be appearing as well? What is his job exactly, other than random amateur musician (BZPRPG version), sculptor (Most versions) or guy who possesses a Frostelus as a lawyer (Techna version)?

[Indecisive Individual]

No spoilers, Hubert. XP

[Wotsiznaim]

Looks like Reichnebach has a more original plot this time. Interesting.

And Pirok has gone back to avoiding Incy, which is a nice touch.

[Indecisive Individual]

Looks like Reichnebach has a more original plot this time. Interesting.

And Pirok has gone back to avoiding Incy, which is a nice touch.

Yes, his plot is reasonably original.

Thankyou. Yeah, Pirok probably won't be showing up in Part I.

BTW, did no-one get the Rache reference? Come on, I thought the ring in the first chapter of Shadows was enough, but no. You all need more before you get ANY references. *Sighs*

[Wotsiznaim]

What's it even referencing? Some guy with a ring called Rache, doesn't ring a bell.

[Indecisive Individual]

It's a joke. The first SH story, A Study in Scarlet. There are plot details of the novel below, so they're in spoiler tags.

Spoiler

The murderer drove his victims to the scene in a taxi, took out a ring, killed them. One of the victims managed to write 'Rache' into the wall (it's German for revenge).
The murderer then tried to return when he realised he'd left the ring behind.

[Wotsiznaim]

I haven't read it, or seen any adaptions. I knew Incommodo wasn't really that clever.

[Indecisive Individual]

Well, he was clever enough to figure out it was Rache, although only from the fact his name was inscribed on the ring. XD
(BTW, if you are interested in reading A Study in Scarlet it's available [quite legally] here)

[Wotsiznaim]

Well, longer chapters, good, little reference or two, good, original story, good. Shaping up pretty well here. I guess Incy is kind of the protagonist of these epics then, or is Pirok or Les going to take a starring role in the third?

[Indecisive Individual]

Yep.
I like references.
Yes, it's an original story.

Inc plays a big role in Dark Mirror, but Pirok (and Proditor) will be pretty big in The Eleventh Hour. Les is just playing a big role ATM. (BTW, his name is a reference to Detective Lestrade, from the SH stories)

[The Inquisitive Automaton]

Ah, missed the Holmes reference there. I feel I should be a little ashamed of that.

I'm gonna take the most obvious path and theorise Reichenbach killed the Toa. Y'know, given he's already been busy.

[Indecisive Individual]

It's okay, there'll be a good few more to catch.

Reichenbach may have been busy, but he's not stupid. He only gets involved when it's necessary.

[Content with Life]

Wait, you now have a Lestrade expy?

So does this mean Inc is Sherlock Holmes or something?

[Indecisive Individual]

Well, Reich's partially based off Moriarty, and Les's been there a while.

It's a joke. Inc obviously isn't Sherlock. He's a detective, who is quite good at his job, but he's too idiotic and... well... funny, really, to be Holmes.

[Wotsiznaim]

I like the relationship between Inc and Frustro, but it seems... Familiar. Some how

I wonder what these anonymous strangers have in common... Oh wait, there was no info, apart from they died

I forgot to mention this earlier, but I like the reference to me in chapter 1

[Indecisive Individual]

I like the relationship between Inc and Frustro, but it seems... Familiar. Some how

I wonder what these anonymous strangers have in common... Oh wait, there was no info, apart from they died

I forgot to mention this earlier, but I like the reference to me in chapter 1

The relationship between Inc and Frustro is very much different, don't worry.

Wait and see, you'll learn soon enough. Besides, there was some info...

Thankyou. I was referring to both you and to Fishers there. XD

[Wotsiznaim]

Ooh, he's playing with his mind... Mind games...

Looks like some psychological warfare going on here. I like it.

[Indecisive Individual]

Ooh, he's playing with his mind... Mind games...

Looks like some psychological warfare going on here. I like it.

Told you the relationship with Frustro was different. XP

[Content with Life]

...

Frustro will obviously become an antagonist.

Anyway, I gladly await the appearance of Somewhat Competent and Responsible Toa of Sonics.

[Indecisive Individual]

True dat, bro. XD

He should be coming in this chapter.

[Content with Life]

So, what exactly is his job?

[Indecisive Individual]

Unemployed/Musician.
Not that many people like him, though.

[Content with Life]

Ah, I see. So Amateur Musician. With a viola.

[Indecisive Individual]

Yeah, pretty much.

[Wotsiznaim]

Arkrak's funny, explosions are big, and Reichenbach is kewl.

Edited by Wotsiznaim, Mar 28 2012 - 01:19 PM.

[Indecisive Individual]

Arkrak's funny, explosions are big, and Reichenbach is kewl.

Yep.
Indeed they are.
What justification do you have for this?

[Wotsiznaim]

He's more psychotic and less annoying than in the RPG.

[Indecisive Individual]

He's only as annoying as you think of him as being.
He's just a bit more murderous in general this time around.

[Wotsiznaim]

Ooh, a prophecy! This is better than Shadows. And Vakama died! Dun dun duuunnn!! And Frustro's a bad guy! Dun dun duunn!! And Reichenbach has a pattern! Dun dun-

Okay, I'll stop now. But this chapter is where it actually started getting interesting. I especially liked the bit with Reich's split personality.

[Indecisive Individual]

Ooh, a prophecy! This is better than Shadows. And Vakama died! Dun dun duuunnn!! And Frustro's a bad guy! Dun dun duunn!! And Reichenbach has a pattern! Dun dun-

Okay, I'll stop now. But this chapter is where it actually started getting interesting. I especially liked the bit with Reich's split personality.

Indeed it is a prophecy, and indeed it is better than Shadows.

Yep, Vakama's dead.

Perhaps...

Are you sure? Wait and see the revelation coming up an hour from now...

Thankyou.
Oh, you liked that, then? The split personality showed up in the RPG, too.

[Content with Life]

Arkrak - He Who Breaks The Fourth Wall And Acts As The Only Sane Guy In The Entire Epic.

His actions are also amusing. I also spotted an attempt at using him as a sonic screwdriver.