Posted May 25 2012 - 08:22 AM
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This may be the best chappy I've written...here goes:
The Adventures of Tahu
Season 2: Consequence
Chapter 5: There Will Be a Chapter 6
On Voya Nui…
Turaga Jovan stood up, supporting his legs with his staff as he walked out of his hut into the open air of the Matoran Cliff Village. He had not wanted to live in a palace; he was just a Turaga, he believed, and nothing more.
Over one thousand years ago, he remembered, Mata Nui had fallen into a deep sleep, and the Great Cataclysm had occurred, sending Voya Nui up and away from the robot’s chest. He would have been as good as dead if the red-and-silver being hadn’t saved him, but it came as a cost for that being. He slowly became insane, and by the time the Toa Nuva had left Voya Nui to prepare for Mata-Nui’s awakening, he, Makuta, and Helryx had unleashed a devious plan to capture the Mahri.
Jovan stopped flashbacking. That was the worst of times, or at least I thought of it that way. I suppose these are the times that try Toa’s souls, then. But it is still horrible what they did. “Well, that’s enough for now,” Jovan muttered as he headed towards Kazi’s hut, as the Matoran was always a late sleeper. The others were up already, and waved to the Turaga from far away, disappearing into the shadows of the forest. “Save the story for another chapter, I suppose,” Jovan continued, breaking the fourth limb in his body. Unfortunately, he had no fourth limb, so he fell through the fourth wall of the fourth hut, which was none other than Kazi’s hut.
Somewhere else, the narrator that TN:TS had hired to tell you this comedy took a deep breath. “Ugh, that was an ever-lot of narrating. Thank Mata-Nui the action is quick-coming now—“ he said, spoiling the next few events of the chapter. He was cut off by TN:TS, who punched him in his Mask of Narration and ordered the story to continue, with or without the dazed narrator.
“Darth-Lord-Ruler-Master-Turaga-Jovan,” Kazi said, looking at the rubbly mess on the ground. He was wide awake (and had unusually been that way for two hours). “Are you—“
“Kazi,” Jovan said, his voice muffled. “Please don’t call me ‘Darth’, ‘Lord’, ‘Ruler’, or ‘Master’. Just ‘Turaga Jovan’ will do. Now, can you please help me out?”
“Don’t worry, I got you,” a white and black titan said, peering in through the hole in the wall. It took him mere moments to pick Jovan out of the rubble and put him on the ground, where Kazi stood in awe.
“Ahh, yes. You’ve changed, yes, but you are still the great Takanuva, Toa of Light, aren’t you?” Jovan mused.
“Yes—somewhat—yes. It’s a long story,” Takanuva said, not wanting to create another boring flashback. Instead he told him to “Read Chapter 2.4,” at which point the fourth chapter appeared on a Microsoft Office 2010 program on Kazi’s desktop (which, for a coincidental reason, had a number 4 as the background). While Kazi and Jovan went to read the chapter, the story shifted to the dark caves of Roxtus.
Tuma scowled. “This is impossible,” he said to Stronius, who had brought the horrible news of Arena Magna’s collapse. Well, he didn’t really care about that, only the five hundred Skrall inside. “They all perished?”
“Every single one of them,” Stronius said, hanging his head down in despair.
Tuma facepalmed while a string of thoughts raced through his mind. I was going to destroy that arena soon, he thought. He had put it off for years, but this year he would do it. Except now, that had happened, only with the consequence of a fifth of his warriors inside. He could never recover from that. “Who’s responsible?” Tuma said, raising his voice.
“Some giant,” Stronius answered. “Heading to Arena Vulcanus.”
“Take your best Skrall there in Thornatus. Lead with Skopio. We must impose a threat, even if it is the last thing we do. Dismissed!” Tuma shouted, retreating to his chambers. He took a nice, long nap, dreaming about what would’ve happened if he had invaded Arena Magna back in 2009.
Outside Arena Vulcanus…
“LOVE TRIANGLE? WHAT IS THIS???” Kiina screamed as she took Tahu outside the arena, telling everyone she’d be back in a minute.
“Kiina and Tahu, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S—“ Gresh teased, coming outside the door. With quick reflexes, Kiina punched him back into the arena.
“Good punch, Gali—I mean Kiina, I MEAN KIINA!” Tahu said, correcting himself as Kiina readied a punch.
“What, you scared?” Gali—Kiina queried. Soon after, the narrator was punched again for messing up as the fourth garbage can exploded.
In NAME AND ADDRESS WITHHELD…
“Please don’t bad-hurt me! I can make mini-mistakes, can’t I?” the narrator said after suffering another dreadful punch from TN:TS.
“No. I’m sorry, Narrator, but we’re replacing you for the rest of the chapter…with Turaga Onewa!” TN:TS exclaimed.
“What am I here for again?” Onewa said, half-asleep.
“Just read the script under ‘Narrator’,” TN:TS ordered, handing Onewa a cookie and an iced frappe. “Anyway,” TN:TS said in his usual directing voice (and not for the last time). “Continue.”
“Yes sir,” the Transition Guy said as he transitioned the story back to Arena Vulcanus…or somewhere near there.
Outside Arena Vulcanus…or somewhere near there…
“You never told me Gali was your—um—girlfriend!” Kiina continued. “And now they think we’re—a thing!”
“Well, um…yeah,” Tahu said, trying not to make things obvious. “Hey, what’s that sound?”
“I…AM…COMING…TAHU…” a strange being muttered from Somewhere Near There.
Axonn ran out of the arena, looking in fear at the titan. He was much smaller than before, but BH still meant business. Especially after killing five hundred Skrall. “RUN!” Axonn yelled, running away from the arena. The rest of the arena followed suit (to injure the titan) except for a few.
“Berix—why are you staying behind?” Tahu queried.
“I’ve been a thief all my life, but I won’t let this cool dude take away everyone’s lives. Redemption,” Berix said, hopping into his Thornatus. Tahu and Kiina followed suit, speeding off to find the ex-Matoran.
In Daxia Fortress…
“Okay, Kopaka. You win. This is much worse than I thought it would be,” Gali sighed, handing him ten widgets.
“Yeah buddy. Kopaka: 1, Gali: 269,” Kopaka said happily, tabulating his wins. Compared to Gali, he was happy he had one.
To Be Continued…
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"The Nintendo characters I allowed entry in the beginning of the comedy will be able to get them back…note that I said Nintendo, not Bubsy."
Tahu: Toa of Platinum, S3 Prologue.
"Yeah, even Sonic isn’t a pain anymore. Personally, I think Bubsy killed him with that Sonic ’06 comment. It was bad.”
Gelu, S3 Ch.1: Perceptions.