Posted Jan 02 2012 - 11:10 AM
Chapter 39: Villains Collide
At the house...
Tahu: (appears by the door)
Gali: ...is it safe?
Tahu: Yeah, it’s safe. Tell everyone else to come inside now.
Pohatu: Where are Onua and Kopaka?
Tahu: Onua went to check on his chocolate stash. Kopaka...
Tahu: ....is just making sure nothing got hurt by the freeze! That’s all.
Pohatu: ...meh. Probably a smart thing to do. Obviously nothing to worry about.
Tahu: That’s the spirit. Now, get everyone else inside! Time’s a-wasting. (heads back into the house)
Pohatu: (whispers) I’m actually REALLY worried.
Gali: Me too.
Meanwhile, in the Void...
Gorgnak: ...bleecchh...(pushes himself out of a pile of rocks)...interesting job of landing that spaceship you did there.
Sonu: What? ME?!?
Gorgnak: Yeah you. You were flying, weren’t you?
Sonu: WHILE BLACKOUT WAS TICKLING ME!!!
Blackout: Sorry. Couldn’t resist.
Gorgnak: ...right. Of course you couldn’t. (surveys the landscape)
Gorgnak: ...man...you sure Lev and Meso are here?
Sonu: Well, let’s ask the spaceship, maybe it know-oh, wait, IT’S BROKEN!!!!
Blackout: I said I was sorry!
Sonu: Yeah, well, sometimes, sorry isn’t enough-
*Nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan nyan...*
Gorgnak: ...(stares at Sonu)
Sonu: Sorry. My intercom ringtone. (presses the “call receive” button on the intercom attached to his armor) Hello?
Voice: Hello there, Sonu.
Sonu: ...uhhh...hello to you...too...
Voice: I’d like you to talk with me, Sonu. We have a lot to talk about.
Sonu: ...look...if you’re the creepy guy that called last week who wanted to sell me rubber duckies, I already told you no.
Blackout: ...I wish someone would sell me a rubber ducky.
Voice: I’m not the guy who sold you a rubber ducky. My name is...well...you should know me, actually.
Sonu: ...Assassin? Is that you?
Voice: You got it! Bingo!
Sonu: Why are you talking in that really gravely voice.
Voice: Your voice would sound messed up too if you got pounded into the dirt by some arrogant Matoran.
Voice: Anyways, I’d like to have a word with you, if you wouldn’t mind walking a short ways.
Voice: And come ALONE. You’ll end up dead, like the rest of your stupid team if you try otherwise. I’m transmitting my coordinates now.
Sonu: Wait, what-
Sonu: Yeah. He wants to meet with me, alone. Says he’s killed off the rest of the Zehvor.
Blackout: What?!? That’s impossible. One Toa couldn’t kill off an entire team...
Sonu: (gestures around him) Who says he was alone? He could have dozens of friends hiding on this planet.
Sonu: ...at any rate, I do want to go talk to him.
Blackout: Dude, if it is like you think it is, and he does have a bunch of friends in hiding...you won’t stand a chance.
Sonu: (twirls his sword around) Who ever said I was going alone?
Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Void...
MT: ...so...where should we head first?
Mesonak: ...no clue.
MT: Come on dude. You’ve gotta have some idea. If you were Assassin, where would you go?
Mesonak: Dominos Pizza.
Mesonak: ...course...I would also go there if I was Brenmac...or JL...or iBrow...
MT: I can tell you’re not gonna be much help. Guess that leaves it to me to figure out.
Mesonak: ...where’s your mask, anyway?
MT: Karo’s messing around with it. Said he could do something to it to make it work better.
Mesonak: ...I wasn’t aware that it was working badly.
MT: Well, besides the fact that it hasn’t been able to actually use its original mask power in years, yeah, it’s been working fine. But all it is is a useful HUD.
Mesonak: ...could it, say, locate the nearest Burger King?
MT: What is it with you and food today?
Mesonak: I’m hungry. Sorry.
Karo: Here you go. (walks up to MT)
MT: ...what’d you do to it? (puts it on)
Karo: I fixed it.
Karo: Yeah. Fixed. Fixed fixed fixed fixed fixed.
Illik: Well...more or less fixed, sir.
MT: ...“more or less?”
Karo: Well, the problem is that the long range teleportation feature is still broken. But the short range was easy enough to fix.
MT: ...I can’t believe this...I went to mask specialists everywhere, and they couldn’t fix it. How’d you do it?
Karo: Duct tape, mostly.
Karo: ...joking. Really, it wasn’t all that hard. I’ve just got a lot of experience.
MT: ...wow...thanks then. How short range is “short range?”
Karo: Not very far. Maybe 40 ooglelengths.
Mesonak: ...what’s an....ooglelength?
Karo: A standard distance unit.
MT: ...I’m gonna hope that an ooglelength is at least a-
Giant Shadow: (passes overhead)
Mesonak: (looks up)
Giant Terna Ship: (passes overhead)
Mesonak: ...well stomp on frogs and shove a crowbar up my nose, those stupid aliens are back.
Meanwhile, back at the house, in the bedroom...
Takadox: ...and I’m really, really, really sorry about the whole punching you in the face thing.
Pridak: Keep going.
Takadox: ...but...I’ve run out of things that I can remember needing to apologize to you for.
Pridak: Then tell me about the things you don’t remember.
Takadox: ....uhhhh....Pridak, I’m sorry for the things I don’t remember.
Pridak: ...doesn’t quite have the same ring as the things you do remember. Repeat those that you do remember.
Takadox: Well, I’m sorry for-
Pridak: (opens the door to his closet) AFTER I get a nap in-AAAAAGGGGHHH!!!
Pridak: ...who are you?
Ghirardelli: ME?! Why, I am Ghirardelli, the most evil villain of all time!
Pridak: ...well...ummm...you’re in my closet, Mr. Evil Villain.
Ghirardelli: WRONG. I am in MY LAIR!!!! And this is MY HENCHMAN!!!
Pridak: Takua! Why are you working for this...closet stealer...
Takua: Well, the hours are good, the pay’s decent-
Ghirardelli: DECENT?!? A Ghirardelli chocolate bar every hour is DECENT?!?
Takua: ...sorry, the pay is very high quality and a little fattening.
Takadox: This is getting stranger by the minute. I’m gonna go get Brutaka.
Pridak: Wait, what? No! Don’t leave me!
Takadox: Sorry! Bye!
Pridak: ...YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO APOLOGIZE FOR THIS LATER, TOO!!!
Ghirardelli: Now...henchman...could you please...show Mr. Albino Pineapple here the door?
Pridak: ALBINO PINEAPPLE?!?
Ghirardelli: And do try to not make too much of a fuss over it.
Takua: Yes, sir. (walks over to Pridak)
Pridak: ...what are you doing?
Takua: If you look to your left here, you can see the closet door, which archeological estimates indicate, has been standing here since about 2011.
Takua: It is made out of wood, not very high quality, though the glaze that is over it would fool you otherwise. It is highly flammable, as the famous “Flaming Piraka” incident, also in 2011, discovered. This incident also prompted the changing of the door, which is why this new one is here today.
Takua: (walks back to Ghirardelli)
Ghirardelli: ...when I said “show him the door,” that’s not what I meant.
Takua: What did you mean?
Ghirardelli: I meant GET THIS LOSER OUT OF MY HIDEOUT!!!!
Takua: ...sir...I calculate a 5% success rate in attempting to get Mr. Pridak here to leave your lair, and a less than 1% chance in succesfully getting him to leave if he turns violent.
Ghirardelli: ...such is the life of the world’s greatest villain. Very well then. I shall have to do this myself. (walks over to the corner of the closet)
Ghirardelli: (kicks Progenitus, his giant dragon)
Progenitus: (stands up)
Ghirardelli: Go! Take care of this...um...(turns to Takua)...what did you call him again?
Takua: Pridak, sir. His name is Mr. Pridak.
Ghirardelli: ....riiiigghhtt....take care of....Mr. Pridak here. (teleports away)
Progenitus: ...(looks at Pridak)
Pridak: (pulls out his squid launcher) Bring it on, you stupid drooling Kardas rip-off!
The Bi-Cenntenial Zehvor Running Away From Terna Marathon!
Brutaka’s Success(or lack thereof) Against Giant Dragons!
Assassin vs. Brenmac!(or, at lot of talking that sort of seems like fighting)