145 replies to this topic

[Pahrak #0579]

Here is where you can review Bioni-Lords Book 3: Kako. Thank you for reading, and please let me know what you think!

Exo's Desk, primary website
Spirit Index, detailed list of all Bioni-Spirits

Edited by V. Lexaeus, Sep 24 2012 - 05:21 PM.

[Nevermore]

Poor Genakex, what does Xyla have against him? Well at least he has Kytan on his side, for now at least.

[Pahrak #0579]

Xyla's reasons for being so harsh will be explored, I promise. But I can't garuntee she'll change very quickly...

[Keizah the Kaleidoscope]

Like I said in my response to one of the previews, I really like the chemistry of this group a lot.

I was pretty surprised by Genekex's personality; I never would have guessed that Khadaz's father would be a coward. On the other hand, unreasonable parents would do that to anyone. It does make me wonder if Genekex was a bit more lenient with Khadaz in response...

Also, looking forward to seeing the source of Xyla's beef with Genekex. While Bioni-Lords has had tsundere-type characters before (Lilynette come to mind), none of them were quite as blunt and brutal as Xyla seems to be. Anywho, awesome stuff, definitely looking forward to next Friday.

[Pahrak #0579]

"Coward" is a strong word; Genakex just has confidence issues. Khazror's parenting is definitely a strong reason why, and I'll tell you know, he's going to get a lot angrier when he reappears in a few chapters...
I wanted Xyla to be super-tsundere in order to make her relationship with Genakex at least a little less cliche than some of the other major romances in Bioni-Lords. Plus, since we already know how they end up, I figure I have to put a little extra effort into showing the relationship develop, and giving them a longer way to go should give me more time to show the progression.

[Nevermore]

Well, I can relate to Genakex in that, even though I've got awesome parents.

[Pahrak #0579]

Chapter 2 is up, showing the first battle of the Book. Hopefully presents an idea of just how good Kytan is.

[Keizah the Kaleidoscope]

Yeah, I definitely see why Khazror treats Kytan like a prodigy. I imagine the fire-lord won't really stand a chance, not unless he's a lot better than the future ones.

[Pahrak #0579]

Well, the Fire-Lord is going to be a bit different from other Fire-Lords we've seen...

[Nevermore]

Wow, Kytan is really good.

Is the fact that that kid had a Garland and that the main (?) villain has a Garland a coincidence?

[Pahrak #0579]

It's a Final Fantasy reference--in the original Final Fantasy, Garland was the first and last boss, and since the Shadow Consortium's Garland will be one of Kytan's final opponents, I figured I may as well have someone using Garland be his first opponent.

Thankfully the Forums are back and I have Chapter 3 online! We get our first impression of Fire-Lord Ackahu and also see Xyla in battle, plus a little foreshadowing at the end...
Hoping to get Chapter 4 up next week--it'll introduce a new character and wrap up Ta-Isle. Ta-Isle arcs are so short...I think I'm going to have them return for a full arc later on...anyway, that's the last chapter I have typed so far, but school's more or less over now so I'll get to work typing the rest of the chapters I have written. Still, expect the one chapter every Friday pace to continue for now, although that may change soon.

[Phoenixian Wraith]

I thought the Fire Lord was a... well a prick. *semi spoiler(ish)* Does Phaenyx kick his butt soon or has he done that already??

[Nuvakuta]

Hm dunno maybe there's a reason for the Fire Lord's behaviour. Have about two theories on the matter but I'll wait to see which one is right or that he's just not the social/interested type. I'd say though his behaviour has something to do with the previous Lord's sickness and his own feelings about the position.

Otherwise, nice job on the chapters so far Zadakh, really liking the foreshadowing and character focus and interaction between0 the three (?) protags of the story so far.

[Pahrak #0579]

There won't be too many new Element-Lords in this book, so I wanted to do something a little different with those that are new. As such, I thought that making them less than friendly might be a good change. There isn't really a reason why Akachu's difficult to get along with, it's just the way he is. I'll probably do a bit more with him on the Ta-Isle Revisit.
Phaenyx has already been through here, yes--he'll show up on Onu-Isle.

[Phoenixian Wraith]

Ahh... well now I don't have a reason to hold a grudge against Ackahu, it's not like he's secretly plotting something.

Onu-Isle? Cool, another checkpoint to look forward to.

[Pahrak #0579]

I decided to go ahead an post Chapter 4. This has a Tag Match and introduces a new main character (you can probably guess who).
I'm going to get started on typing Chapter 5 either today or tomorrow, and I'll get it up as soon as I can. This chapter will explain a new component of the plot that I've been keeping under wraps for some time...

[Nevermore]

Man, I feel so sorry for Genakex, Tahra and Xyla are really mean, I hope we get to see him snap and retaliate instead of being so good natured. Ackahu seems like he doesn't want to be the Fire-Lord, but with the responsibilities of the job who could blame him?

[Phoenixian Wraith]

Nevermore, judging on past (or should I say 'future' ) Ikhav's, it seems that most Ikhav's have almost unlimited tolerance for anything, save for the evil things of course.

By the way, did Kytan pick up the 'Equip' technique while waiting for Genakex??

[Nevermore]

As a highly intolerant person I've never understood that kind of patience. "Equip" is the name of Watershock's effect, not a technique.

[Pahrak #0579]

Genakex might not be too eager to stand up for himself due to past experiences, namely his father. We'll have to wait and see if this changes.
Seems you guys are starting to back off of Akcahu...which means I need to make him more despicable!
And yes, Equip is the effect of the Watershock Spirit--basically a standard Parasite effect, except it doesn't combine Elements.

Chapter 5 is up, and it finally explains the King Bohrok! We'll gradually introduce more of them as the story goes along, but for now, enjoy the ever-arrogant King of Pahrak!

[Nevermore]

Hope it does.
Despicable is a bit harsh, moody seems a bit more appropriate.
The story of the King Bohrok is pretty interesting, I can't wait to read more. The Curse reminds me of something, I can't quite remember what, but I'll figure it out.

[Pahrak #0579]

The Curse has similarities to the set-up to Dissidia Final Fantasy--multiple cycles of war. I'm going to try to avoid using the word "cycle", though...want it to be at least a little different.

Not sure when I'll get started on Chapter 6, but I'll try to get it soon. It'll begin the Po-Isle arc, which is a little on the short side, but should still last a while.

[Keizah the Kaleidoscope]

Ah, that explains why some of the King Bohrok have pre-evolutions. Since EP's chief motivation is conquest, it makes sense that he'd want an army. It'll be very interesting to see how the others responded differently to the same set of circumstances.

Also, I imagine that EP's presence will make the group dynamics even crazier, as his brash personality seems to contrast nicely with Kytan's "gentlemanly" one and Genekex's timidity.

Edited by Keizah the Kaleidoscope, May 11 2012 - 01:27 PM.

[Phoenixian Wraith]

Eooohh.... so Equip is Watershocks ability? Cool.

I don't like EP - sexist baka... though I like his story and his part in this epic.

Can't wait for the next chapter!!

[Pahrak #0579]

I hope that Titan will fulfill everyone's expectations! We'll see how he interacts with the group on Po-Isle, which may or may not lead to things getting out of hand...

[Nevermore]

Would it be reasonable to suspect that Xyla does not wish too see any of her relations due to her preference of air over it's near opposite stone?

[Phoenixian Wraith]

Y'know what? I like Tahra I don't usually say this but... You GO girl!! Show the world that females are just as strong as the men!

[Pahrak #0579]

That's a very reasonable guess. *wink* Xyla's extended family is pretty important, although I haven't decided yet if I'm actually going to show them "on-screen"...
Tahra's the character I'm enjoying the most in this Book. Glad to see you guys like her too!

[Phoenixian Wraith]

Yeah, I didn't notice too many characters with THAT much spirit and drive (outside the Ikhav's of course)... If she was in One Piece, would she have Haoshoku Haki??

[Nuvakuta]

...I dare say I think Tahra's becoming my favourite character so far due to that personality and burning spirit(!).

[Pahrak #0579]

Well...I suppose she could have a technique like that. I don't see why not.
Tahra's personality should develop more as the story goes on. That's the plan, at least...

Chapter 7 is up, and we get to see Titan in action! It establishes a few points about fusing with a King Bohrok, and yes, you can probably guess who gets to use him first. But more than one character will use Titan over the course of the story, I promise.

[Phoenixian Wraith]

I like the little synopsis about Titan being a double edged sword... especially Tahra's comment on it =P

[Nevermore]

Tahra is a great character but I like Titan more, his ambition and power will certainly affect the group dynamic.

[Pahrak #0579]

Good, Titan's being well-received...unfortunately, most sentient Spirits don't have a whole lot of personality. I'm trying to improve upon that with the King Bohrok.

[Nevermore]

The plot thickens... Anyway, this chapter is not only interesting but is a cliffhanger, which means that the next chapter will by very interesting. Too bad the Ikhav family brawl was postponed, it would have been intense, but there's always next chapter. Shearer seems to be a mediocre assassin but hopefully able to put up a fight, and if she stinks then I have few doubts that Frieza and his goons will interfere.

[Phoenixian Wraith]

Oooh, really cool chapter!! Way to go Kytan! And for some reason I picked out a lotta spelling errors?? Other then that AWESOME!!

[Pahrak #0579]

Sorry about the spelling errors--Spellcheck has decided to make me its mortal enemy. I'll try to fix them soon.

Chapter 9 is up, and it's almost entirely Shearer vs Onatewka. Sorry I've been slacking off a little lately...and that may not improve next week, since I'll have company...but hopefully I'll find a work ethic the week after.

[Keizah the Kaleidoscope]

Shearer vs Onatewka was really descriptive, reminds me of the quality of the battles at the end of Book 2. I wonder if the change in attitude is a default feature of the Hollowfication effect, or if it's more of an individual personality trait of the user.

Edited by Keizah the Kaleidoscope, May 25 2012 - 08:07 PM.

[Nevermore]

Hmm, Shearer is more powerful then she seemed to be at first, and more unstable. And it seems I was right about Frieza being perfectly willing to interfere in the battle.

[Phoenixian Wraith]

Well of course he would he's a bad guy... not many stick by their word.