145 replies to this topic

[Keizah the Kaleidoscope]

Okay, is anyone else getting serious Noatak/Tarrlok vibes from the Ihkav brothers? Knowing Kytan's long-term future, the nightmare sequence in the beginning is both heartwarming and bitingly ironic. I've always had a thing for stories that involve dreamscapes, particularly as a way of showing hidden fears and complexes (a good example would be Bryan Davis' "Echoes From the Edge" trilogy).

As for Xyla's part...wow. Just wow. Her fear of expectations and self-hate are so raw and realistic. You must be writing from some sort of personal experience to capture those feelings so well.

[Pahrak #0579]

Actually, I got Ikhav brother vibes from Noatak/Tarrlok. But...yeah, the stories are pretty similar. I could say "great minds think alike," but it'd be cliche. At least I managed to get the irony through!
I've had the idea for the dream scenario for a while (ever since seeing Inception, really), though I didn't set down many details until just recently. We won't see everyone's nightmares or mental landscapes, but I wanted to show a few because it seems like an excellent chance for character development. Genakex and Xyla were my first picks because, obviously, I need to build their relationship, and I'm also going to show something with Takashi and Samuko since they're only around for this arc. There's also going to be another nightmare for a character you may not expect...
I think most people have something they don't like about themselves, so I wanted Xyla to be easy to relate to. My own experiences are nowhere near as intense, but even a minor base in reality helps makes a character feel more real. This scene is also a hint towards something to come, but I don't want to say any more about that just yet, heheheh...

I'm going to try to kick myself into starting Chapter 32 today, but with Pokemon White Version 2 coming out on Sunday, I may be dropping off the face of the Internet for a while. Also, I'll be away next weekend, so that could delay things a bit, but I will definitely do my best to focus on writing more Kako!

[Phoenixian Wraith]

Chapters 32 and 33 were both awesome and a little freaky - A King Bohrok with that kind of power? Plus insanity? I foresee Genaxex's first real King battle rather soon...

Phaenyx, who was sleeping on the other side of the lobby, sat up and yawned. “Man, that was a weird dream. Good nap, though. Strange place to fall asleep…but…wait, what happened?”

Figures - it takes Phaenyx a minute to understand the peculiarity of randomly falling asleep while walking.

Not to mention, a look at the Fourth Forbidden Thought!

[Nevermore]

Abomination is now officially my favorite King Bohrok. His insanity is well done, he's not a raving lunatic like most insane characters are portrayed as. Also Cerebral Vortex is pretty cool, I'm glad I chose it.

[Pahrak #0579]

Abomination's glad to see there are some people who understand him. Chapter 34 is up, and we find out that the King of Kohrak is even freakier in person. This is a far more serious battle than the fight with Voyager...

[Keizah the Kaleidoscope]

I agree with Nevermore. Abomination's insanity is subtle enough to not be overly distracting, yet still unusual enough to be disturbing. It's a sort of reasoned madness that reminds me of the Joker or Vezon.

Although I have to wonder, with some of the quotes from this chapter...is his Va Champion some kind of receptionist or telemarketer? It's just he makes a lot of references to telephones and "business".

EDIT: Oh dear, is my COT showing?

Edited by Keizah the Kaleidoscope, Nov 25 2012 - 01:52 PM.

[Pahrak #0579]

I hadn't actually put much thought into the Abomination Va, but now that you mention it...that would make a lot of sense. I didn't realize how many business references I was putting in there. And now I have this strange image of Abomination in a suit...
*shakes head*
Anyway, I've kind of started on Chapter 35, but I may not get anywhere quickly. Hopefully it shouldn't take too long, though--the pace will likely pick up about mid-December.

[Phoenixian Wraith]

Well, another thing on Kytan's worry list - Genakex's rage. Poor kid... I have to say, Abomination is quite the crowd favorite.

Hope Xyla gets herself together, though *enters old-man-sage mode* I foresee... *puffs on pipe* some trouble ahead for her...

Oh, and I'm puttin' 50 widgets saying that Phaenyx woulda rained down some serious damage if not for that damnable shield of Abomination's...

[Keizah the Kaleidoscope]

Actually...I was just rereading the last couple chapters, and I think I'm starting to understand why Titan reacted so emotionally to Abomination's actions. If you think about it, the Bahrag queens are responsible for the creation of the Krana and the majority of the Bohrok. This means that they function as parent figures to the Bohrok, especially the Kal (who they personally created). So from Titan's point of view, Abomination killed his "mothers" in cold blood.

[Pahrak #0579]

The kids have some tough times ahead for sure...
Due to Elemental resistance, Phaenyx's Shadow attacks were all cut to a level below what the King Bohrok Carapace can nullify, so Abomination broke out the Krana Ca to be extra careful. Without that, though, you're right--Phaenyx would have cut that freak to pieces.

I've been trying to find the best way to phrase it, and I think you just did, Keizah! I may slip that into the story if you don't mind.

[Phoenixian Wraith]

Okay, Zane will be a pretty cool addition to the team. I also like how his personality and his Spirit match - Did you choose that Nevermore?

Also, I am officially scared of Meu... Mutrei... Okay I can't bloody remember how to spell it. But you get who I'm talking about. She is also my fave Shadow Consortium member as of this moment.

[Nevermore]

Yeah, a lot of his Spirits are like that. His fighting style is spot on, just how I wanted it.

She certainly lives up to her name but I think it's a bit early to pick favorites. We've only seen a few of the Consortium higher ups in any detail.

[Pahrak #0579]

I've taken to calling her "Meut" for short.  I intend to show more with all the Division Heads and other Consortium leaders soon to make them more interesting, though due to the rules we won't see them battling all that much.  Most of them have at least been seen by now, and Science Divison Head Contrivance will make an appearance during the Le-Isle arc.  All that's left is Shock Trooper Division Head Kain--his Division will be involved on Ga-Isle, but I may give him an appearance during Le-Isle.

 

Chapter 36 has Genakex's battle against Stratoro and Chapter 37 will be Kytan's fight--both are written and I just need to get to typing them.  Chapter 38 will be the start of Le-Isle!

[Keizah the Kaleidoscope]

Well, this is strange.  My post from earlier magically disappeared (or modgically?).

 

Good thing the division head can't act on their own, otherwise Meutriere probably would have assassinated Kytan's group already (especially considering that she can apparently shoot targets half a continent away).

 

And Meutriere's personality is brilliant.  It seems that a lot of "assassin" characters in fan fiction tend to run their mouths too much, making it hard to believe that they went through the necessary training to be professional killers.  Meut, on the other hand, seems to have a degree of professional detachment, as well as the patience for long stakeouts.

Edited by Keizah the Kaleidoscope, Dec 11 2012 - 04:46 PM.

[Pahrak #0579]

My thoughts exactly.  I figured there should at least be a cannon reason why none of the Division Heads are let off the leash, other than "it would be a really short story otherwise".

Looks like Meut's a real fan-favorite!  I'll keep that in mind going forward!

[Keizah the Kaleidoscope]

Okay, Mahi trail: I just saw the Exo Vahki archetype in the spirit index, and I have to say that it's an impressive design.  I love how most of them are fairly viable on their own, but gain new techniques in a fusion chain.  Also, I guess we can add "Perfect Dispel" and "Fatal Wound" to the list of methods to kill Cain.  

 

Alright, back to the future Kako.  It's good to see that the Element Lords can still put up a fight against Kytan, although it seems that they might be trying harder in order to give Kytan a challenge.

 

Also, I'm geeking out over the additional background for Nuvakuta and Zagrin, as well as the implication that they could actually become stronger than the original Element Lords.

Edited by Keizah the Kaleidoscope, Dec 20 2012 - 01:32 PM.

[Pahrak #0579]

After the King Bohrok and the Seven Deadly Rahkshi, I figured the Vahki were due for a new look.

Well, Kytan's a tougher challenger, so it makes sense they'd try a little harder.

Since Nuvakuta and Zagrin and their family/ies have become so important, I figured I should at least toss them a mention in Kako.  Adding Takashi and Samuko was done to make it seem a little more relevant.

 

Kako 38, the first chapter of Le-Isle, is fully written, I just need to get to typing it--should be up today or tomorrow.  Not sure how my work will be affected over Christmas--I won't be having any relatives over, but I will be getting a few new games, so...

[Phoenixian Wraith]

Dear God Mata Nui... Exo, can you channel living peoples spirits or something, cos that joke of Phaenyx's is something I'd say!

 

The Air-Lord seems a lotta fun, too And a very well written battle.

 

However, *looks sideways at Exo* would you have oh-so-happened to have made a minor reference to Origins?

[Pahrak #0579]

Sometimes even I do not understand my own powers...

<.<

>.>

As for an Origins reference...maybe...

 

Chapter 39 is almost done, will definitely be up this week!

[Phoenixian Wraith]

Go Xyla! Two birds, one stone - beat the Air-Lord and get a confidence boost!

[Pahrak #0579]

Indeed, it's a big moment for Xyla!

 

Chapter 42 is up, showing another conversation between Kytan and Tahra.  I was going to hold on to what I reveal here until Ga-Isle, but I thought it made more sense to start here and go more in-depth later on.  Hope you guys like it!

[Phoenixian Wraith]

With this chapter, you have cemented my suspicions, good sir! Fear not, however, I shalt not tell a soul what mine opinion is...

 

Amazing, I thought my typing processor would have a fit with that sentence...

 

In any case, yet another well... y'know what, every chapter you write is well-written. I'm gonna start randomizing words just to get outta that slump...

 

Can't wait for the next chapter!

 

E: Why so many new sentences, I know not...

Edited by Phoenixian Wraith, Feb 13 2013 - 02:03 AM.

[Pahrak #0579]

Feel free to take a guess, just know that I can't confirm a whole lot just yet.

 

Chapter 43 is finally up, sorry it took so long.  I was hesitant since this finally shows us how Element-Lords transfer their titles, which is kind of important.  It also introduces a new guest star, starting us on the next part of the Le-Isle arc.

 

Also, since we now have an official Jungle prefix, Flora-Isle is officially being changed to Bo-Isle.

 

And I might have a new Spirit ready soon.

[Phoenixian Wraith]

Oh dear Mata-Nui, what in the name of the High Council have I unleashed upon thine world?

 

Or, translated... What the heck have I created?

 

A rather exquisite look into the background of Elemental-Lord transferal too... though I'm glad Kytan set Phaenyx straight.

 

A marvelous chapter, indeed. And yes, this will be a test to see how many praising words I know.

[Pahrak #0579]

Sorry for the dealy, but Chapter 44 is finally up.  It's mostly explanation about the castle and what the Consortium is doing there, so I'll try to be quick about Chapter 45 so you won't be in suspense too long!

[Phoenixian Wraith]

Another superb chapter, Exo. And it comes with it's own beautiful reference, haha.

 

Though I can't help but wonder if I've seen a character like Contrivance...

 

Still maintain there's a Afro'd skeleton in that mansion somewhere though.