107 replies to this topic

[Indecisive Individual]

Here is the review topic for the second part of the sequel to my epic. Constructively criticise, comment, have small conversations with me involving your ridiculous theories, y'know, the usual stuff you little group of fans do. The epic itself is here.


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- Vorex

Edited by Vorex: Keeper of Time, Jul 27 2012 - 06:14 AM.

[Wotsiznaim]

Well, I was right about the unnamed Matoran, Vorex (those two are kind of obvious), Incommodo and Nikarra.

Nikarra easily has the best colour scheme, and of course the De-Matoran is Reichenbach (I can't remember whether I guessed him or not, but still). I assume by what you wrote that they have not yet become Toa, just their standard appearance has been altered?

And I could swear I remember reading that Reich in this universe was red and yellow, but I either misread it, you changed it, or my memory is tricking me.

[Indecisive Individual]

You were right about all of them, actually. Strave just lost the accent by the time he appeared in the other two epics.

I NO, RITE? And you did guess Reich. They aren't Toa, they just look different.

Your memory's tricking you. In the Shadows epilogue, he used his Mahiki to make himself look like a red and yellow Toa wearing a Kakama, but he'd changed back by the end of it.

[Wotsiznaim]

Ah, I always forget the Mahiki

[Indecisive Individual]

...
One of the biggest plot-points took place due to the Mahiki.
And you only read that chapter YESTERDAY. XD

[Wotsiznaim]

So I guess we won't find out who dies and what happens to Inc until the Eleventh Hour?

[Indecisive Individual]

You'll find out what happens to Inc at the end of Part II, you'll find out who dies in The Eleventh Hour.

[The Forbidden Entity]

So basically 10 or so chapters without our favorite hyperactive detective. This should be quite the ride...

[Indecisive Individual]

If this is a ride, then it's the Ghost Train. I'm taking things slowly this time 'round. And there may or may not be around ten chapters, I can't be sure.
Incommodo IS here, but it's the other characters who're taking the lead.

[Content with Life]

Well, seems like DM: II is more of a prequel to the series that ties in with Whispers.

I'm still saying that Arky dies in The Eleventh Hour, because his only use in the entire story is comic relief. Nothing else. Therefore by killing him, you will manage to generate something for Inc to angst over, allowing him to be more motivated to end the conflict and save the world, without losing anything important.

Am I right?

[Indecisive Individual]

Well, seems like DM: II is more of a prequel to the series that ties in with Whispers.

I'm still saying that Arky dies in The Eleventh Hour, because his only use in the entire story is comic relief. Nothing else. Therefore by killing him, you will manage to generate something for Inc to angst over, allowing him to be more motivated to end the conflict and save the world, without losing anything important.

Am I right?

Well... yeah, basically. XD (But, in my defence, Whispers wasn't originally going to be in the series)

Not telling you anything, Hub.

[Wotsiznaim]

Va-Metru? Makes me think of Pirok the Va-Matoran... Who is a Ta-Matoran in this series... Hmm...

What's funny is Vorex didn't write all that much, definitely not enough for an autobiography

So I guess Inc does have the Whispers in his head, which are the italics, since all the Time Keepers do, it seems.

And there's something with 'em there, gasp!

So yeah, nice, concise, all that jazz. Feels good to be away from all the mystery main plot-ness.

[Content with Life]

Pirok. THE ORIGINAL Paradoxian Main Character.

[Indecisive Individual]

First of all, thankyou so much for posting. I definitely prefer watching out for even numbers.

Va-Metru? Makes me think of Pirok the Va-Matoran... Who is a Ta-Matoran in this series... Hmm...

What's funny is Vorex didn't write all that much, definitely not enough for an autobiography

So I guess Inc does have the Whispers in his head, which are the italics, since all the Time Keepers do, it seems.

And there's something with 'em there, gasp!

So yeah, nice, concise, all that jazz. Feels good to be away from all the mystery main plot-ness.

Yeah, funny, that...

He needed to shut them up somehow.

O RLY?

Yup. There's definitely something there. Unless, of course, his eyes were playing tricks on him, and I'm a very cruel writer...

Good to know. And, just so you know, it does kinda slot into the main plot... a bit... y'know. It'll explain a lot, trust me.

Pirok. THE ORIGINAL Paradoxian Main Character.

Well, yup. But who said he's the main character? We have SIX main characters this time!

[Content with Life]

With Arkrak and Frustro as your supporting cast.

[Indecisive Individual]

...
I don't see Arkrak or Frustro here. XD

[Content with Life]

In the sequel of course.

In which they'll probably die.

[Indecisive Individual]

Arkrak is kind of a main character, and Frustro will become a lot more important in the.

[The Forbidden Entity]

I don't see why everyone is jumping to the Arkrak conclusion. I think that Nikarra will die. Its been heavily hinted that she's the one who breaks the Dark Mirror, but that may not kill her. Who knows? Shadows are vicious and mysterious things, and no one knows how many lurk in that Mirror...

Also, yes, Inc is here. But NOT the Inc we know. At least, not yet...

[Indecisive Individual]

I am loving this. Everyone's making their own theories, and I am loving it. Good to see y'all thinking. And, don't worry, the prologue will not give away the identity immediately.


Indeed, it isn't the Inc we know, and there's a reason for that...

[Content with Life]

Let me guess, he's a psychopath, who, after burning down a house, will become the Inc we know and tolerate.

[Indecisive Individual]

Let me guess, he's a psychopath, who, after burning down a house, will become the Inc we know and tolerate.

That is BZPRPG Incommodo. This is Time-Keeper Incommodo. Different characters, different backstories.

[Wotsiznaim]

“I didn’t think you could. There’s only one who can remember.”
“Who? Who knows how I got this?”
“Hm? Oh, not the medallion. Look at the others. They all have one.”
“One what?”
“Now that is the question, isn’t it?”

GAAHHH!! It's the RPG Reichenbach! Kill it before it lays eggs!

And it seems Vorex's transformation is beginning. Dun, dun, dduuunnnnn!!

Incommodo couldn’t be bothered following the De-Matoran any further. He got into a sphere, and went to the Residence building, only to stumble upon a little meeting of his peers. “’Sup, people?”
Vorex looked up. “Why do you all seek to disturb me?”
“Not the most cheerful fella, is he?” Incommodo chuckled, sitting down. He then noticed Nikarra. “######-o.”
Nikarra sighed, stood up, and walked away.
“What’s her problem?” asked Incommodo.
The Ta-Matoran simply glared at Incommodo, not giving an answer.
“Tough crowd…”

It is the Inc we know and... Know...

Although I didn't like the thing about Magnetism being the 'best' element. I'd say it's probably Gravity, but we can argue all day about that. I just don't think your opinions on Bionicle storyline should be directly inserted into the epic. Sure, you can imply it by having people use Magnetism effectively and all that, but outright saying it is like Greg Farshtey saying 'Kopaka, as the best Toa, froze everything...' blah blah blah, if you catch my drift.

[Indecisive Individual]

Hey, he's said stuff like that before in the epics. This is his first time speaking here, give him a break. XD

No, it's not... not yet...

Hmm... didn't spot where I said that...
But, if it was in the first part, then those were Reich's thoughts.

EDIT: 'De-Matoran' are Matoran of Sonics. Also, I was referring to the 'powers' from Chapter 1, I would have said 'element' if I meant that. XP

Edited by Vorex: Shadow Master, May 08 2012 - 04:06 PM.

[Content with Life]

You know, the word filter filters the first four letters of hello.

Maybe use hel-lo instead.

[Indecisive Individual]

You know, the word filter filters the first four letters of hello.

Maybe use hel-lo instead.

I know, I'm editing now. XD

[Wotsiznaim]

Lol, misunderstanding your writing at it's finest XD

I forgot about the powers they were given. IRL I actually have a fairly decent memory, which is why my memory on the Interwebs is terrible

[Indecisive Individual]

Lol, misunderstanding your writing at it's finest XD

I forgot about the powers they were given. IRL I actually have a fairly decent memory, which is why my memory on the Interwebs is terrible

Yeah, it really makes me feel good about myself.

...
No offence, but I'm beginning to worry about you. XD

[The Forbidden Entity]

So, wait... Is all of Part II going to be a flashback, or a switch between those events and present day?

[Indecisive Individual]

The majority of it will take place in the past, but the Epilogue will pick up not long after the last chapter of Part I.

[Wotsiznaim]

Announcement:

This Epic is hereby epic, and therefore Wots-approved. But what's 'approved'? A thumbs up, that's what!

[Indecisive Individual]

Um... okay... XD

[Wotsiznaim]

So, more body parts I see.

Vorex breaking, as I foresaw :psychic:

The bit with the missing door made me think of Beetlejuice for some reason o.O

Who's 'they'? Am I right about the former residents of the city thing?

More disappearing doors. And I get the feeling she was knocked out

Looking quite horror-esque here, and I like it. Although, it is hard to scare people with just words, and I wasn't scared at all, I like the atmosphere and stuff.

[Indecisive Individual]

Wait and see, Wotz.

Thankyou.

[The Forbidden Entity]

Why do I have the feeling that these creatures are related to or early forms of Shadows? Probably my predictability sense acting up, but have to include every possibility...

[Indecisive Individual]

Why do I have the feeling that these creatures are related to or early forms of Shadows? Probably my predictability sense acting up, but have to include every possibility...

I had considered it, but I decided not to make them related to Shadows. This is something different.

[Wotsiznaim]

So, Incommodo's still himself despite the insanity, that's lovely.

Empty closet. More weirdness.

Why do you still call him 'The De-Matoran' when we all know he's Reichenbach?

Score one for the library goers!

So yeah, Vorex is in italics once more, and a sequin of plot development. Kewl beans.

[Indecisive Individual]

Incommodo's always been insane. XD

Because he isn't named Reichenbach yet.

Yup.

Well, I thought the italics fit in well with how I always imagined the mutated Vorex hissing.

[Content with Life]

What is his name then?

[Indecisive Individual]

What is his name then?

He doesn't have one, yet. It'll come up in the next few chapters, don't worry.