Posted Jun 27 2012 - 08:58 PM
The Parts with Pirok and Proditor were witty and fun, but they don't seem to have a purpose. Yet.
What's with you throwing random great beings into the story? *shakes head* Stop pulling the deu ex machinas - if he's dead, he's dead!
Corpses are alive? That's an oxymoronic contradiction. Corpses are dead things. Dead things aren't alive.
Is the "italics" character another randomly inserted person, or is he someone we know?
Nekron seems to be the only character in common with all these plot threads, but we've never seen him before, which is disorienting.
So yes, right now I am really confused, as per usual. One thing you might want to try is to pick a single character and write with him/her for a chapter - you tend to write better when you do that, and it makes the whole thing less confusing. I'm addicted to the * * * key myself, but it makes for a better story if you can stay with a character for more than two paragraphs. It allows your audience to better relate to your characters.
I'll leave you with that.