219 replies to this topic

[ZHX]

Vorex, I'd like to tell you that you absolutely ruined the Street Fighter reference.

[Indigo Individual]

Vorex, I'd like to tell you that you absolutely ruined the Street Fighter reference.

Street... Fighter... Reference?

[Ilyusha Blokfase]

I'm still waiting for Aclaraung myself.

[Indigo Individual]

I'm still waiting for Aclaraung myself.

*facepalm*
You already know he's on the way.

[fishers64]

I liked the scene with Inc owning the maze, but the beast thing was a little violent for him. Also, you referring to Dark Mirror: Part II's chapter 11 just gave too much away, right there.

So you've put Incommodo back in the dimension/paradox with the Mystix? In an odd way, I see Reichenbach as a desperate individual, trying to save the only reality he knows. I like that. I have the feeling that when this is over, rereading it will be helpful to me, because it will all make sense then.

Good job with this chapter.

[Ilyusha Blokfase]

I'm still waiting for Aclaraung myself.

*facepalm*
You already know he's on the way.

Yeah, but you said he would show up when Zarnarax did.

So you lied.

Because he isn't in that chapter.

[ZHX]

Vorex, I'd like to tell you that you absolutely ruined the Street Fighter reference.

Street... Fighter... Reference?

The 'For us it was Tuesday' part. The quote goes like this:

Chun-Li: My father saved his village at the cost of his own life. You had him shot as you ran away! A hero at a thousand paces.
M. Bison: I'm sorry. I don't remember any of it.
Chun-Li: You don't remember?!
M. Bison: For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me... it was Tuesday.

[Indigo Individual]

I liked the scene with Inc owning the maze, but the beast thing was a little violent for him. Also, you referring to Dark Mirror: Part II's chapter 11 just gave too much away, right there.

So you've put Incommodo back in the dimension/paradox with the Mystix? In an odd way, I see Reichenbach as a desperate individual, trying to save the only reality he knows. I like that. I have the feeling that when this is over, rereading it will be helpful to me, because it will all make sense then.

Good job with this chapter.

The violence was there to prove that he's heading over 'the deep end'. My apologies about the reference. Just... so many... questions... I also needed to prove just how far he's about to fall.

No, actually, but that'll be explained.
You're spot on with Reichenbach, there.
Re-reading will likely be helpful, yes.

Thankyou.

[Excelsior]

Hey, I'm FINALLY posting in your review topic! Just like I said I would, except... much later. So much later, in fact, it's a different review topic.

Sorry. Better late than never, I guess.

Anyway, this is good. I have to admit, I found DM:PII a little frustrating. (I did enjoy it when Nikarra broke the mirror-like screen - WITH a mirror. Seriously, what is it with her and mirrors and breaking?) It seemed like it was mostly devoted to setting up more questions. (Actually, we probably learned a lot, but I think one tends to focus more on the gaps revealed by new knowledge than the new knowledge itself.)

Now we seem to be getting those answers! It looks like this is going to be The Epic Where Everything Happens. Certainly a lot is happening.

I'm very interested in this, and I like that Pirok and Proditor are back. And they've teamed up with Arkrak and Nikarra! These four will, I'm guessing, be trying to save the world (and possibly regather the TIme-Keepers, on Nikarra's part?).

It seems we'll be seeing more of Frustro, if that "Incommodo saved my life" scene is meant to be expanded.

I appreciated the Agori cameo. Haven't seen them for a while.

Meanwhile, Reichenbach -who I actually have some sympathy for: you seem to be good at sympathetic villains - is being depressed in a cave somewhere;

The League of Shades have a mysterious "glitch" (from their point of view) which is yet to be explained (the Shadows wouldn't have quite that affect, would they?);

The Mystix just refuse to die and leave the story, apparently (not that I have a problem with that!);

And Incommodo - well, a lot has happened, is happening, and will happen to Incommodo.

First, if I've got the order right, Matoran Inc saw Other Inc (who is a strangely sane and serious person) for the first time. Then he lost his memory and lived as normal a life as he's capable of living for a while, eventually becoming a Toa.

Then the events of Shadows and DM:PI took place. At the end of those, after the waterfall incident, he relived the events of DM:PII in a flashback. At the end, he saw Other Inc again, making that the second time.

Right now, he's having some serious character development, actually showing some strong emotions. Apparently saving the world is more than a fun pastime for him.

Later, the new and darker Inc will be shot. And killed. I really hope he comes back.

Also, someone who seems to be Inc from the future, or may actually be from an alternate universe (or something I haven't thought of) will somehow travel back in time to talk to his past self. And then he will ALSO apparently die, just by fire, this time.

Anyway, with regards to what'scurrently happening, I like Inc's new depth. And - as I said earlier - I really hope he doesn't die permanently.

I hope I comment here again. I'll try. (My reviews are this long partly just because I like talking about stories - or talking, period - but also because I'm trying to cover a whole epic in one post.) But I will definitely be continuing to read, whether you see me here or not. I like the characters, it's fun to read, and the plot so far seems good. Keep it up!

(By the way, do I have a lot of parentheses in this post, or is it just me? )

-Excelsior

[Indigo Individual]

Hey, I'm FINALLY posting in your review topic! Just like I said I would, except... much later. So much later, in fact, it's a different review topic.

Sorry. Better late than never, I guess.

Anyway, this is good. I have to admit, I found DM:PII a little frustrating. (I did enjoy it when Nikarra broke the mirror-like screen - WITH a mirror. Seriously, what is it with her and mirrors and breaking?) It seemed like it was mostly devoted to setting up more questions. (Actually, we probably learned a lot, but I think one tends to focus more on the gaps revealed by new knowledge than the new knowledge itself.)

Now we seem to be getting those answers! It looks like this is going to be The Epic Where Everything Happens. Certainly a lot is happening.

I'm very interested in this, and I like that Pirok and Proditor are back. And they've teamed up with Arkrak and Nikarra! These four will, I'm guessing, be trying to save the world (and possibly regather the TIme-Keepers, on Nikarra's part?).

It seems we'll be seeing more of Frustro, if that "Incommodo saved my life" scene is meant to be expanded.

I appreciated the Agori cameo. Haven't seen them for a while.

Meanwhile, Reichenbach -who I actually have some sympathy for: you seem to be good at sympathetic villains - is being depressed in a cave somewhere;

The League of Shades have a mysterious "glitch" (from their point of view) which is yet to be explained (the Shadows wouldn't have quite that affect, would they?);

The Mystix just refuse to die and leave the story, apparently (not that I have a problem with that!);

And Incommodo - well, a lot has happened, is happening, and will happen to Incommodo.

First, if I've got the order right, Matoran Inc saw Other Inc (who is a strangely sane and serious person) for the first time. Then he lost his memory and lived as normal a life as he's capable of living for a while, eventually becoming a Toa.

Then the events of Shadows and DM:PI took place. At the end of those, after the waterfall incident, he relived the events of DM:PII in a flashback. At the end, he saw Other Inc again, making that the second time.

Right now, he's having some serious character development, actually showing some strong emotions. Apparently saving the world is more than a fun pastime for him.

Later, the new and darker Inc will be shot. And killed. I really hope he comes back.

Also, someone who seems to be Inc from the future, or may actually be from an alternate universe (or something I haven't thought of) will somehow travel back in time to talk to his past self. And then he will ALSO apparently die, just by fire, this time.

Anyway, with regards to what'scurrently happening, I like Inc's new depth. And - as I said earlier - I really hope he doesn't die permanently.

I hope I comment here again. I'll try. (My reviews are this long partly just because I like talking about stories - or talking, period - but also because I'm trying to cover a whole epic in one post.) But I will definitely be continuing to read, whether you see me here or not. I like the characters, it's fun to read, and the plot so far seems good. Keep it up!

(By the way, do I have a lot of parentheses in this post, or is it just me? )

-Excelsior

Hey, the reviews are always big, anyway. XD

It does focus on the gaps, yes, but there were some massive plot hints dropped during it.

Oh, this is the Epic where Everything Happens. A lot more than you're expecting, anyway...

Not just four, my friend. Not just four.

It's a major plot-point, you can count on expansion.

Thankyou. See, fishers? A lot of people appreciated the cameo.

This is my first real attempt at a sympathetic villain, thanks.

The Shadows wouldn't have that effect, and only Terror has the glitch.

Don't worry, there are some major differences between the Mystix and the 'True Mystix'.

Indeed it will.

Yup, that's the right order.

Saving the world has gotten to be less of a fun pastime, now. Things just got serious.

I can tell you that, when he is shot, that Incommodo is actually killed. But there's some stuff going on there and with the other Inc that'll be explained.

I'm afraid that this time 'round, when a character dies, they die. Admittedly, there may be a little bit of 'cheating', but it's not quite the same characters...

Thankyou!

(Not at all, I've seen much, much worse. )

[Ilyusha Blokfase]

You certainly got Aclaraung's personality down well.

[Indigo Individual]

Thankyou, Kal.

[Ilyusha Blokfase]

Now I wanna see more of him biting off other people's heads.

[Indigo Individual]

Now I wanna see more of him biting off other people's heads.

Maybe later.

[Ilyusha Blokfase]

Maybe eating chunks of protosteel for his scale.

[Indigo Individual]

*shrug*
I DON'T NEED THE ACLARAUNG SUGGESTIONS.

[Excelsior]

Not just four, my friend. Not just four.

It's a major plot-point, you can count on expansion.

This is my first real attempt at a sympathetic villain, thanks.

Don't worry, there are some major differences between the Mystix and the 'True Mystix'.

Indeed it will.

Yup, that's the right order.

Saving the world has gotten to be less of a fun pastime, now. Things just got serious.

I can tell you that, when he is shot, that Incommodo is actually killed. But there's some stuff going on there and with the other Inc that'll be explained.

I'm afraid that this time 'round, when a character dies, they die. Admittedly, there may be a little bit of 'cheating', but it's not quite the same characters...

(Not at all, I've seen much, much worse. )

I'm only quoting the parts I have something to reply to here, in an effort to keep things straighter. I guess I'll start numbering my paragraphs...

1.Not just four? Hmm...

2.So there will be more Frustro. Might he be part of the Apocalypse Team? Or - considering the glitch - might Terror?

3.What's Vorex, then? (Which reminds me - when I started reading Shadows, I originally thought Vorex was good and the Ta-Matoran bad. But the way they were protrayed eventually convinced me I'd just misinterpreted it. Then I read DM:PII, and I was like, "I was right the first time! The Ta-Matoran is as bad as I thought he was!")

4.Of course, Vorex isn't looking so good right now. Strave said he was "beyond salvation," and I can see his point. (Though he could be wrong.) “I will flatten the mountains, I will dry the seas, and I will wipe all life from the face of this miserable planet!” Not in a good mood, is he?

5.So I see.

6.Glad to know I got the Incommodo stuff right. Not very glad to know he'll die - but I guess we've all got to go sometime...

And there will be cheating. Always a good sign.

7.(Well, that's good. )

Moving on to the new chapter...

8.As I said earlier, there do seem to be differences between the Mystix. To begin with, these guys don't want to conquer the world - always a nice difference to have.

9.And hey, it's Aru! Haven't seen anything of her for a long time. Now we know what happened to her. (Incidentally, I like Inc's reaction to her guilt issues. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm the one who sent them to the bottom of the ocean." Gee, how tactful.)

10.It's nice to meet Aclaraung. Kal Grochi's frequent demands for him mentions of him were making me curious. (And I see they are continuing. )

11.And I was not expecting Marendar/the master of the Shadows to also be Vorex. As Arkrak would say - PLOT TWIST!

12.Incidentally, you profile says you're a Doctor Who fan - do you watch the old series? Because there's a Fourth Doctor story arc about the "Key to Time," which is actually split into six pieces. Judging by the similarity (though I think it pretty much ends there), I'm guessing you haven't seen it.

-Excelsior

Edited by Excelsior, Jul 10 2012 - 12:58 PM.

[Ilyusha Blokfase]

Aclaraung: Huge, golden, eats protosteel for his scale, and likes to sit around and sleep.

And tear people's heads off.

[The Forbidden Entity]

1. So... A Mystix Civil War?

2. So is that all the cameos characters? Or do we have a few more? Still, pretty gruff.

3. Finally! Figured Vorex had a huge hand in this doomsday plan! The question is, how far does his involvement go? I'm assuming to the bitter end...

[Ilyusha Blokfase]

Aclaraung? Gruff?

Just wait until somebody makes him mad.

[Wotsiznaim]

I'm still waiting for Zongu

Bit 1: So I take it Zarnarax and co. don't know about the whole alternate dimension thing?
Bit 2: Hooray for bad guy comebacks! (the whole explanation on how they survived reminds me of the customary "How did you survive the Time War" conversation from Series 1-5 of Doctor Who )
Bit 3: Bit of Matau-ness in Inc there Plus I foresee an epic dragon-riding scene coming up. Aclaraung will look like Odahviing in my mind for the lulz.
Bit 4: Vorex is big now? Does this make him the 'other Marendar' Reichenbach spoke of?

[Indigo Individual]

So... many... posts...

I'm only quoting the parts I have something to reply to here, in an effort to keep things straighter. I guess I'll start numbering my paragraphs...

1.Not just four? Hmm...

2.So there will be more Frustro. Might he be part of the Apocalypse Team? Or - considering the glitch - might Terror?

3.What's Vorex, then? (Which reminds me - when I started reading Shadows, I originally thought Vorex was good and the Ta-Matoran bad. But the way they were protrayed eventually convinced me I'd just misinterpreted it. Then I read DM:PII, and I was like, "I was right the first time! The Ta-Matoran is as bad as I thought he was!")

4.Of course, Vorex isn't looking so good right now. Strave said he was "beyond salvation," and I can see his point. (Though he could be wrong.) “I will flatten the mountains, I will dry the seas, and I will wipe all life from the face of this miserable planet!” Not in a good mood, is he?

5.So I see.

6.Glad to know I got the Incommodo stuff right. Not very glad to know he'll die - but I guess we've all got to go sometime...

And there will be cheating. Always a good sign.

7.(Well, that's good. )

Moving on to the new chapter...

8.As I said earlier, there do seem to be differences between the Mystix. To begin with, these guys don't want to conquer the world - always a nice difference to have.

9.And hey, it's Aru! Haven't seen anything of her for a long time. Now we know what happened to her. (Incidentally, I like Inc's reaction to her guilt issues. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm the one who sent them to the bottom of the ocean." Gee, how tactful.)

10.It's nice to meet Aclaraung. Kal Grochi's frequent demands for him mentions of him were making me curious. (And I see they are continuing. )

11.And I was not expecting Marendar/the master of the Shadows to also be Vorex. As Arkrak would say - PLOT TWIST!

12.Incidentally, you profile says you're a Doctor Who fan - do you watch the old series? Because there's a Fourth Doctor story arc about the "Key to Time," which is actually split into six pieces. Judging by the similarity (though I think it pretty much ends there), I'm guessing you haven't seen it.

-Excelsior

1: Nope.

2: Wait and see.

3: Vorex is... okay, fine, you win. XD

6: Not always...

8: It's the Good Guy Mystix!

9: It was so Incommodo. I had to put it there.

10: Yup.

11: I thought it was obvious enough. *shrug*

12: I'm afraid I haven't really seen much of the old seasons - I watch the New Series.

1. So... A Mystix Civil War?

2. So is that all the cameos characters? Or do we have a few more? Still, pretty gruff.

3. Finally! Figured Vorex had a huge hand in this doomsday plan! The question is, how far does his involvement go? I'm assuming to the bitter end...

1: Not quite.

2: There might be a few more cameos, I'm not sure.

3: You'll have to wait and see.

I'm still waiting for Zongu

Bit 1: So I take it Zarnarax and co. don't know about the whole alternate dimension thing?
Bit 2: Hooray for bad guy comebacks! (the whole explanation on how they survived reminds me of the customary "How did you survive the Time War" conversation from Series 1-5 of Doctor Who )
Bit 3: Bit of Matau-ness in Inc there Plus I foresee an epic dragon-riding scene coming up. Aclaraung will look like Odahviing in my mind for the lulz.
Bit 4: Vorex is big now? Does this make him the 'other Marendar' Reichenbach spoke of?

1: They don't.
2: No reference intended.
3: He was an inspiration. Well, I'll do my best to make it epic. NO SKYRIM.
4: Spoilers (but he was built out of the pieces of the old Marendar).

[Ilyusha Blokfase]

You all think Aclaraung doesn't want to conquer the world.

But you don't know his plan.

For all we know, he might be the guy behind my death.

[Indigo Individual]

You all think Aclaraung doesn't want to conquer the world.

But you don't know his plan.

For all we know, he might be the guy behind my death.

Kal, I'm going to tell you this one more time:
STOP WITH THE ACLARAUNG TALK.

[Ilyusha Blokfase]

Why? He's the only character of mine who is in this whole thing, and, frankly, seems the most interesting to me.

Besides that, I'm still, technically, discussing your epic.

You have no right to get mad about that.

[Indigo Individual]

I don't care about the technicalities. It's just really getting on my nerves that you're discussing one character, who isn't even all that important, instead of commenting on the epic itself, that being what a review topic is for.

[Ilyusha Blokfase]

Hmm...alright.

In my opinion, your epic has way too much dialogue, and I've seen that in a lot of other things as well. I would recommend trying to tell the story more through action instead of through the character's words.

Does that help?

[Indigo Individual]

Hmm...alright.

In my opinion, your epic has way too much dialogue, and I've seen that in a lot of other things as well. I would recommend trying to tell the story more through action instead of through the character's words.

Does that help?

I'm aware of the dialogue stuff. If you really want a lack of dialogue, look at Dark Mirror: Part II. Much less dialogue than here. And if you want to see how much I've improved since learning of it, look at the amount of dialogue in Dark Mirror: Part I.

[Ilyusha Blokfase]

That may be, but I still feel you're relying on the dialogue as a crutch.

[Indigo Individual]

That may be, but I still feel you're relying on the dialogue as a crutch.

I use the dialogue for characterisation.

[Ilyusha Blokfase]

Like I said: Using it as a crutch. Telling the story and using it for characterization, when you can easily get it through actions. Actions speak louder than words, and you use more words than anything.

[Indigo Individual]

Like I said: Using it as a crutch. Telling the story and using it for characterization, when you can easily get it through actions. Actions speak louder than words, and you use more words than anything.

The last sentence is a little bit exaggerated.
And I don't always tell the story through dialogue. Other people can use action for a crutch. I use dialogue for characterisation, and I use it combined with a little bit of action to move the story along.

[fishers64]

There are two dimensions, and two Incommodos. Or is there only one? I think there is only one. One dimension where the Mystix were sealed away by Makuta, and one where Incommodo killed them all. Right?

The dimension where Incommodo killed them all is where Vorex is and the events of DM: PI take place. Incommodo is now in the dimension where the Mystix have been sealed away. Is what I'm thinking anywhere close to the truth?

And why does the whole Vorex thing seem Darth Vaderesque?

[Ilyusha Blokfase]

Actually, the Voya-Nui Mystix weren't sealed away. The sealed away Mystix were the ones killed.

The ones away on Voya-Nui were safe. Probably because they had Aclaraung there to help them.

He probably did all the hunting.

[fishers64]

So this story takes place in two dimensions, one with the Mystix and the other one where DM: PI takes place?

[Ilyusha Blokfase]

I think it was mentioned somewhere that they drowned from Incommodo sinking the island and they were unable to get away, or something like that.

Whereas, there were those Mystix that weren't sealed away, and so survived, because they weren't drowned due to being unable to get away.

Same dimension.

Edited by Kal Grochi, Jul 11 2012 - 10:04 PM.

[Indigo Individual]

So this story takes place in two dimensions, one with the Mystix and the other one where DM: PI takes place?

I think it was mentioned somewhere that they drowned from Incommodo sinking the island and they were unable to get away, or something like that.

Whereas, there were those Mystix that weren't sealed away, and so survived, because they weren't drowned due to being unable to get away.

Same dimension.

Kal's right, here. As was explained there, the Mystix dimension from Shadows isn't involved - the Mystix seen here are a small group who didn't follow Ignotus to Mata Nui (they went to Voya Nui instead), so they weren't with the other Mystix who at the end of Shadows were inside the cave and got drowned due to the Makutaverse's face breaking through Mata Nui, sending the fragment in which the cave existed to the bottom of the ocean.
The Mystix sealed away at the beginning of Shadows were still sealed away in this timeline, although they weren't released (apart from Ignotus).

Edited by Using Less Vorex, Jul 12 2012 - 05:42 AM.

[Ilyusha Blokfase]

I was right! Boo-yah!

And I haven't even read the other epics!

[Indigo Individual]

I was right! Boo-yah!

And I haven't even read the other epics!

You did get a summary of everything, though.
But, well done. *enthusiastic clapping*

[Ilyusha Blokfase]

And that was the only thing I remembered from that summary.