Posted Jun 27 2012 - 09:00 PM
Presenting my entry to the Library Summer Olympics (in the comedies section, of course):Ackar and the Hot Hand Narrator: It is 20 years before The Adventures of Tahu begins, in Arena Vulcanus. After countless years of fighting, Ackar has gotten very tired of his old strategies to win matches, and he feels that they are wearing off himself. Ackar: My old technique is useless. I’ve used it for thousands of years, and people know it by now. I wish I could do something about it. Narrator: At this moment-point— TN:TS appeared, flipping the Script-Prose Lever from Script to Prose. “Who put this in script? I accept prose ONLY. And Narrator, STOP WITH THE –SPEAK!” “Um—“ “Narrator, you’re going back to jail,” TN:TS said, teleporting the dumbfounded criminal. “Vakama will narrate. Anyway, continue.” “At this point, Ackar hopped into his Thornatus and drove away, thinking. Soon, he saw Kiina and Berix in Creep Canyon. He went to them.” “Ackar, Ackar, come here!” Berix exclaimed, running to Ackar and pulling him to Kiina. “Look at this.” “The three were looking down at a golden mask, and were bewildered. It was smoldering, for it had just come down from the sky.” “What is it?” Ackar asked wearily. “We don’t know,” Kiina said. “Berix was walking with me when we saw a golden comet fly out of the sky crash some 200 feet in front of us. We went to it, and for some reason it was emitting a strange silver gas from it, which you can somewhat still see. We didn’t touch it though, because a Zesk did, and he was turned into a pizza pie. We ate it.” “So how do we bring it back to Arena Magna?” “We don’t, Ackar,” Berix said, shaking his head. “You’re losing it. Your mind, your technique, everything including the kitchen sink is going down the drain. Nice knowing you, Ackar,” Berix said as the two hopped into their Kaxium V3 and sped away. “Ackar shook his head. He knew he was losing it, and there was absolutely nothing he could do…except…” “No, I already lost it,” Ackar said, picking up the golden object. In Daxia Fortress… “Is everything accounted for?” Helryx asked. She was having a big celebration, for she had captured the Mahri, left Mata-Nui for dead, and ruined the future of the Matoran Universe. She had also disbanded the Order of Mata-Nui (for Mata-Nui was doomed), creating a new and strong empire, the Orderly Empire. “Yes,” Makuta answered. “The Mahri are in stasis tubes, and we’re putting shadow into them now.” “Good. What about Voya Nui?” “It’s still on the surface,” Axonn said. “We have destroyed the Path to the Ignika and trapped the resistance team. They are alive, but no one‘s leaving.” “And the Ignika itself?” “I shot it away to a desert planet. No one will ever find it,” Ahkmou said. “Perfect. And does everyone know of my dictatorship?” TSO shrugged. “I told the Turaga in Metru Nui, who I absolutely expect to tell everyone else.” “Good. And I have already gotten the Nuva and the Hagah on my side, so we have nothing to worry about. Let’s party!” Helryx yelled, turning on a remixed version of “Creeping in My Soul” and pushing a button, which made exactly 44,444 pieces of confetti rain down from the 444 foot ceiling. “They partied through the night, not knowing that the Ignika was found.” In Creep Canyon… “For the fourteenth time, I AM NOT A GENIE!!!!!!!!!” the Ignika roared, sending a golden wind through the air that knocked Ackar down on his feet. “I AM THE KANOHI IGNIKA, MASK OF LIFE, AND…WHERE AM I???” “Oh, that’s what you were asking…” Ackar trailed off. Upon touching the mask, his hand had caught on fire, which he was awfully freaked out about. The mask had lifted straight into the air and talked in Matoran, before finally remembering Agori. “Oh, you’re in Bara Magna, the ugliest desert planet in the Solis Magna system.” “Planet? This was a desert when I was—“ Ignika’s eye was suddenly caught on Ackar’s fiery hand. “Oh, do you want me to put that out?” “Nope,” Ackar said in thought. Wouldn’t it be amazing, he thought, if I could set people aflame…it would be a new technique! “I’m using it. I’m positively sure I want it.” “Okay then,” Ignika said, disappearing in a blinding light. He reappeared in a scarabax nest, turning many of the beetles into scarab shields. In Arena Iconox… “Charge!” Strakk yelled, swinging his axe and knocking Ackar on his back. Let’s see if this works, Ackar thought, pushing his fiery hand into Strakk’s face. It instantly set aflame, and it took two seconds for Strakk to run out of the arena. “And Ackar wins, with his hot hand!” Raanu exclaimed, jumping down from the podium to congratulate Ackar. The Glatorian, smiling, shook hands with Raanu. “AUGH! MY HAND! IT’S ON FIRE!” Raanu yelled, shoving his hand on the icy floor of the arena. Ackar did the same, only to find flames dance across the floor and melt it. Everyone left, screaming in terror as Ackar tried to control the fire, or at least make his hand stop burning. He failed, running into his Thornatus.He put his other hand on the controls, but his right hand touched the wheel. He cursed as the vehicle spun out of control (on fire, of course) and jumped out of it. “Going, going, going, gone,” he said as the vehicle exploded. He fell on the sand, setting it aflame— “THAT’S ENOUGH! IGNIKA, COME HERE NOW!” Ackar yelled, cutting off Vakama.“Let me guess…you want your hand back to normal?”“YES.”“Ever heard of water?”“Oh, come on. Really?”“Yes. But after that, you must hide me. Somewhere nobody, no how can find me.”“Sure…but wait, won’t my hand get set aflame again?”“ ” Ignika emoticonned.To Be Continued…in The Adventures of Tahu!“And you thought that wasn’t canon…” TN:TS said, trailing off. “Suckers!”Yep, it was canon (as a prequel to TAoT, so I will update the C+C there). What did you think?~TN:TS~
Chapter 2 of The Life of Pridak is UP!
The Anniversary Edition of Tahu is UP!