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[ShadowBionics]

All right, well a friend said they wanted to see this story on here. This is the fourth edit of the original, the first being on the old BZPower that was met with some... negative criticism about being short and rushed. Well, this being the fourth edit, I've expanded the story, Lewa now talks, and there are more characters who should have been in the first and third edits but weren't included. This is a spoof of The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. It's technically the first in my series (unless I spoof Skyward Sword), spawning two sequels called The Moron's Mask and the ongoing Twilight Delinquent.

This has been slightly edited from the actual fourth edit, mainly to slim down on the reading, and for those who have read the actual fourth edit, I'd appreciate it if you stay silent about it, where it is, and what parts I left out for time.



A long time ago... In a land of darkness, despair, fear of spaghetti, and stupidity, there echoes a legend... A legend held dearly by the inhabitants of the City of Legends that tells of a Toa... A Toa who wished to be a hero and do right to save the world from a dark evil who wished to turn it into a realm of darkness and evil. This is the story of that Toa, and the story of a princess and an evil burn victim.

Bionicle: The Dimwit of Time


*Deep within Le-Metru, there was a large tree with a mustache and large mouth. This was the Great Deku Tree and he was a... I'm not sure. Just let him tell you about his life, then.*

Great Deku Tree, voice-over: In the vast, deep forest of Metru Nui...Long have I served as the guardian spirit. I am known as the Deku Tree... The children of this place, the Matoran, live here alongside me. And each one has their own guardian fairy... at least I would think so. However, there is one dweller in particular who does not have a fairy because he's a sad, strange little man who has weird dreams...

*Inside the mind of Lewa, he was having another nightmare, although the same as the ones he had been having for the past few weeks. He is standing outside the Coliseum, the gates are opening.*
Lewa: Whoa, creepy doors…
*It is raining outside and a storm is brewing. Then all of a sudden, two beings atop a mount pass right by him, one being a young Toa of water. Lewa moved away before being trampled, staring back at her...*

Nokama: Lewa, help!

*The two rode away and the dream continued. Lewa, stunned, got to his feet again. He turned back to face the Coliseum, only to meet face-to-face with a dark being with a unsettling vibe.*

Antroz: I have some special plans for you...

Lewa: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

*Lewa had been having the same nightmare, but even though this wasn't the first time he still had no idea what it meant...*

Great Deku Tree: Oh, Navi the fairy, listen to my words, the words of the Deku Tree...

Navi: Why do you refer to yourself in third person?

Great Deku Tree: Nonsense. The Deku Tree never speaks in third person.

Navi: Uh... okay.

Great Deku Tree: Dost thou sense it? The climate of evil is descending upon this realm... Malevolent forces even now are mustering to attack our land. I think it is time for the loser without a fairy to discover his... "destiny..."

Navi: And what destiny is that?

Great Deku Tree: Why, to do battle against these forces of course. Now set out and retrieve this loser from where he sleeps.

Navi: Whatever, you great, wooden coot.

*That is when Navi leaves the woods and sets off to find Toa Lewa in his home somewhere in Le-Metru.*

Navi: Why does it have to be HIM...? Of all people, why?

*Navi continues flying through, passing the forest and into Le-Metru and passing by some various folks*

Nuju: I'm so sad and alone.

Navi: Well, good luck with that.

*Wanting to get away from Nuju, she flies away really fast, bumping into a conveniently placed fence. Shaking it off, she goes on.* I hope no one saw that.

Nuju: I did!

Navi: Quiet, lonely boy!

*Navi continues to fly through until she makes it to Lewa's home where she finds him still sleep.*

Navi: Finally! This place is so full of freaks, I swear! Hey, lazy boy, wake up!

Lewa: No, please, get away from me!

*Lewa did not awaken. He's probably harder to wake than Mata Nui is. Oh snap!*

Navi: Screw it, I don't want to go near that lonely guy again. Wake up! *she starts beating him up until he woke up.*

Lewa: I didn't do it!

*Lewa finally woke up and to his surprise he saw Navi, but he wasn't sure what she was. She looked like a lightbulb with wings to him initially, but then saw she was something else entirely. Navi took notice of his look of confusion.*

Lewa: Who are you? What are you? Some kind of hovering lightbulb?

Navi: I'm Navi. I'm a fairy in case you're wondering, you fool. Now come on, the Dummy Tree has a job for you to do.

Lewa: Okay. So are you like my own fairy now?

Navi: Yeah, I guess so. He just told me to take you to him and assist you.

Lewa: Fine by me.

Navi: Whatever, just get on down there. The Deku tree gets all fidgety when things don't go right.

*So Lewa left his home. He thought about his dream for a moment, but then forgot about it for a moment. Of course, Lewa had no time to worry about such things and paid them no attention, despite that fact that these dreams actually meant something. As he walked, his thoughts were interrupted by a greeting from a friend.*

Hahli: Yoo-hoo! Lewa! Over here!

Lewa: Oh, hey, Hahli.

*The green hero turned around to see it was Hahli, one of his closest friends since... a long time. He stopped and turned to face her as she ran closer to him. She slowed down as she got closer to him, her expression changing.*

Hahli: Oh... you've got a fairy with you...

Lewa: Yup, I've got my own fairy now like everyone else.

Hahli: I'm... really happy for you. I hear the Deku tree wants to talk to you.

Lewa: Wow, news sure does fast-travel around here.

Hahli: Yeah, it sure does. You know, if the Great Deku tree wants to talk to you, it must be important. It's a real honor to talk to him.

Lewa: Yup, so I guess I'd better get going. Wait… I feel a disturbance.

Hahli: What do you mean?

Lewa: I feel like somewhere else, there's an alternate pocket dimension where I'm cheer-happy all the time and I say annoying things that make everyone hate me.

Hahli: I wouldn't dwell on that. Just ignore it, you'll live longer.

Lewa: You're right. I'll go talk to the Deku tree now.

Hahli, smiles: Well, good luck, I hope it all goes great for you.

*Lewa was about to get near, when he was stopped by a fellow Toa of Air named Mido. He was a bit of a pain in the neck and he hated nearly everyone. He hated Lewa more, seeing as he was friends with Hahli, and he had a mad crush on Hahli.*

Mido: Hold on there, Lewa. I, the great Mido, won't let you go walk-pass without a sword and a shield. Are you crazy?

Lewa: But I already got those. *He holds out his air sabre and his own shield as proof.* So you can't just claim-say I don't have them.

Mido: What? Shoot! But I still won't ever accept you as one of us. You don't even have your own fairy like the rest of us do!

Lewa: Actually… I happen to have my own fairy as well as of this morning.

Navi: Here, there. I'm a fairy.

Mido: What? Shoot!

Lewa: Did you forget your glasses at home?

*Mido grumbles as he steps aside to let Lewa pass through. As Lewa goes through, he meets up with some vicious Deku baba plants that try to attack him. Luckily, Lewa makes quick work of them. After that, he approaches the Great Deku tree himself.*

Edited by ShadowBionics, Jul 02 2012 - 12:03 AM.

[ShadowBionics]

*After getting past Mido, Lewa and Navi went to speak with the Great Deku tree, who was eagerly awaiting them to tell them of something very important…*

Great Deku Tree: You have ventured very far, young hero. Come and kneel before me.

*Obeying the Great Deku tree's orders, Lewa neared the tree.*

Navi: I'm back, Great Deku tree. So now what?

Great Deku Tree: Thank you for coming. Thy slumber these past moons must have been restless, and full of nightmares. As the servants of evil gain strength, a vile climate pervades the land and causes nightmares to those sensitive to it. Verily, thou hast felt it...

Lewa: It's like he's reading my mind!

Great Deku tree: No, I just guessed. Now then… The time has come to test thy courage. A wicked man seeks a divine relic said to possess the essence of the gods. Thou must not allow this wicked man in black armor to lay hands on this sacred relic.

Lewa: Wait… for some reason I feel like I've seen him.

Great Deku tree: You probably have. That man's name is… Antroz. Thou shall now hear two stories…

Great Deku tree, voice-over: Long ago, during the war and Mata Nui was weakened, the Brotherhood of Makuta intervened. Metru Nui had become was thrust in greed and shadows. Makuta Antroz came around. He had a horse. They were best friends. But you see, deep down, he had dark ambitions…

*Antroz is then seen riding his horse through a flaming forest.*

Antroz, screaming: Oh, Mata Nui, I'm on fire! I'm burning here! Why doesn't anyone help me?! AAAHH! Help me, I'm literally burning alive here! Please, I beg of you, help me! Someone please help me!

*End flashback.*

Lewa: He sounds like the one who haunts me in my dreams… I once had a one with some big angry beast with a lot of teeth and looked like a whale.

Great Deku tree: No, he's no important.

Lewa: Oh. All right. I felt like he was.

Great Deku tree: No. Now, back to Antroz. That same individual hast cast a curse on me when I refused to help him in his quest for power. He wishes to seek the divine relic known as the Triforce. Long ago the three golden goddesses descended upon as, as ordered by the Great Spirit himself. And they themselves had their own agent known as Hylia, but I won't get into that very much.

Lewa: Yeah… it's all so confusing. Mata Nui does what now?

Great Deku tree: He just sleeps all day and ignores us, so it's really the goddesses who are the ones we look to in desperate times.

Lewa: Were they stunning-pretty?

Great Deku tree: No, they looked like Oscars. Anyways, Din cultivated the Land. Nayru brought law and justice. And Farore created those to uphold that law. Then, after they realized how they royally screwed up, they fled and after they crashed into each other, they left the Triforce behind. And then they returned to the heavens.

Lewa: What does it do?

Great Deku tree: My time runs short… the curse placed on me is taking its toll on me.

Navi: Wait, does that mean…?

Greak Deku tree: Yes. I will die shortly. Sadly, I doubt there was anything you could have done. Not even going and stopping some giant spider boss would have done anything.

Lewa: I… I don't know what to say.

Great Deku Tree: Say nothing. Go now to the castle!

*Lewa nodded and began to run for the castle.*

Great Deku Tree: There...!

*Lewa stopped in his tracks and ran back to the wise tree, kneeling before the tree again.*

Great Deku Tree: ... you shall surely meet the princess of destiny! Make haste, for there is little time remaining!

*Lewa nodded again and began to run for the castle.*

Great Deku Tree: The fate of the whole world...

*Lewa ran back to the tree one more time, kneeling again.*

Great Deku Tree: ...rests on thy shoulders. Now go!

Lewa: Are you done?

Great Deku tree: Yes.

*Lewa nodded one last time and ran as fast as he could to the castle...*

Great Deku Tree: But first...

*Lewa ran back to the Deku Tree one last time, kneeling before it again, looking slightly annoyed at having to go back and forth so many times..*

Great Deku Tree: Allow me to bestow upon you one of the three sacred spiritual stones. I refused to give this to Antroz, and this made him so mad that he placed the curse on me.

*From the branches of the old guardian, came a green gem. Lewa ran out to catch it. He looked at it, recognizing it as Farore's Emerald. Shortly after, Lewa looked in horror as the Great Deku tree's leaves began to wither and the bark turned so gnarled and black. The Great Deku tree was no more…*

*Understanding his mission now, he made his way for the castle... or in this case, the Coliseum in Metru Nui, which my history teacher told me is a rip-off of the real coliseum and oh, I'm just going to shut up now.*

Navi: Good-bye, Great Deku tree… I'm going to miss you… even if you did talk in third person sometimes like a weirdo. *Navi quickly flew back over to Lewa, who was stopped by Mido.*

Mido: What happened to the Great Deku tree?! Did he… DIE?!

Lewa: Yes…

Mido: You killed him!

Lewa: No, I didn't!

Mido: I'm going to tell everyone you cold-killed him!

Navi: Lewa, forget about him. There's no time. We can't let his death be in vain.

Lewa, reluctant: Okay…

*As Lewa was about to cross the bridge out into the field, he was stopped by a familiar face.*

Hahli: Hi, Lewa…

Lewa: Hahli? What's wrong?

Hahli: It's funny, I had a feeling someday you would leave this place. I just didn't think it'd be so soon.

Lewa: Don't worry, it'll be okay.

Hahli: I… I want you to have this. *She reaches into her knapsack and pulls out an ocarina.*

Lewa: What is it?

Hahli: It's an ocarina. I made it myself. It's like the one I use. I want you to have it. That way you'll have something to remember me by. You know?

*Lewa stares at the ocarina. He then stories it in his own knapsack and looks over at Hahli, who looks very sad and sort of stricken.*

*Lewa, unsure of what to really say next and how to really express his feelings, slowly backs away and then runs away as Hahli looks on with forlorn in her eyes. *

*Lewa ventured his way onto field, so vast and... vast. As Lewa walks, he spots a tree with some words carved on it, as well as a picture. It read "Welcome to Matau Land," and it had something that resembled a Great Mahiki next to the words.*

Lewa: Hey, Navi? Who's Matau?

Navi: I have no idea. This carving looks pretty ancient. Probably from the before time.

Lewa: Well, I guess so. *Walking on again, he is met with a new arrival, in the form of a Nivawk.*

Kaepora Gaebora: Hoot hoot. Hey, Lewa, look up here!

*Lewa looked up and saw the mysterious bird perched on a tree branch with its angry chicken face.*

Kaepora Gaebora: It appears as though the time has come for you to start your adventure. You will encounter many hardships ahead, but that is your fate. Don't feel discouraged, even during the toughest times. It is my job to tell you information you either already know or don't care about. As such, go straight this way, and you will see the castle. You will meet a princess there. Don't get too excited now, it's nothing to get too frenzied over...

*Lewa looked at Navi, confused. He wasn't too sure how long this bird could really ramble on...*

Lewa: I don't think it'll be very long.

*4 hours later...*

Kaepora Gaebora: ...And that is why I will never like Taylor Swift. Do you wish to hear this story again?

Lewa: NO!

Navi: Heavens no!!

Lewa: I'm not even sure how you got from a princess to Taylor Swift!

Kaepora Gaebora: You have said yes. Very well. Now, back to the princess

Navi: Lewa, we have to get out of here while we still can! I don't think he's ever going to stop talking!

Lewa: Got it. Let's sneak-pass from him.

*He took his equipment and silently left the creepy bird to finish his story about why he will never love Taylor Swift. Which is odd, because now he reminds me of an earlier character I made who had a similar-- oh, nevermind, I'm no better than he is if I finish that sentence.*

*After some time of torment later, Lewa made it to the ranch, which was full of many animals. He walked through the ranch, but it seemed no one was really there. He read the sign, "Pon Pon Ranch." Moments after, he ran into a Toa of Air dressed in Green and Gold, which wasn't too common from what he had seen before. He approached the Toa, who wasn't really in the highest spirits.*

Iruini: Gah! Who are you? Can't you see, I, the hard-working Iruini, am trying to work here?

Lewa: Sorry, Luigi, I'm looking for a castle. You know where it is?

Iruini: I am not this Luigi. I am the hard-working Iruini! I'm the only one who does anything around here, unlike that lazy bum Norik. All he does is sleep! Well, someday, my talents will be recognized, and then I shall be rich!

*Lewa didn't know how to respond to that, especially since he had never met "Norik" before in his life.*

Lewa: I'm sure you are, buddy. But if you don't mind--?

Iruini: Until then, I have put out my own video game. I called it "Iruini's Mansion," and it will be game of the year, I know it will!

Lewa: Sure, good luck with that one.

*Lewa slowly backed out of the ranch to leave Iruini and his crazy ranting and then he ran all the way to the castle... market.*

Ahkmou, prancing/grinning: What? I'm not up to any bad deeds right now. Silly.

*Lewa looked past the grinning/prancing thief Ahkmou. As Lewa walked through the castle town market, he met a young girl clad in blue.*

Vhisola: Hey! Your clothes! They're... different. You're not from around here, are you?

*Lewa nodded, still with that grin on his face. SO HAPPY.*

Lewa: Nope. I come from a place called Le-Metru.

Vhisola: Is that a fairy?

Lewa: She sure is.

Vhisola: Well then, fairy boy, my name's Vhisola. My dad owns a ranch nearby. He went to deliver some milk to the coliseum, but never came back.

Lewa: Really? How awful. That's terrible.

*Lewa then walks away slowly to the castle gates, which are guarded by a squad of Vahki, all walking in seemingly pre-destined paths.*

Edited by ShadowBionics, Jul 17 2012 - 02:10 AM.

[ShadowBionics]

Since this topic isn't going the way I wanted to, could someone report that I wish for the topic to be closed? There's no interest in the topic, and I don't think I wish to continue it anymore. I will post one more chapter, so this post isn't a waste, but afterwards if someone would report that I wish for the topic to be closed, I would be very much obliged. Thank you for your time.

*At first, Lewa was taken back by all of these guards, but he knew he had a quest to do. The question was how to get past the guards. They all seemed to be walking in a pre-determined path, so Lewa studied the path of each guard and began to walk through the courtyard. He made it past the first guard, but as he continued, the second one caught him.*

Vahki 2: *whistle blows.* Hey. You. Halt.

*The other guards came and surrounded the Toa and proceeded to throw him out on his bum.*

Vahki 4: And stay out.

Lewa: How rude.

*Lewa dusted himself off and got off his sorry rump. As he was about to go in again, he was met with a familiar face.*

Vhisola: So, fairy boy, are you going to the castle?

Lewa: Yeah, I kind of am, actually.

Vhisola: Could you do me a favor and find my dad? He must have fallen asleep somewhere, the silly goose. *giggles.* What a thing for an adult to do. If you look for him, I'll give you a little something. I've been incubating this egg for a very long time...

*with that, Vhisola gave Lewa the Weird Egg. She's sort of weird herself, so it would only be fitting.*

Lewa, sighs: All right, now to give this another try.

*Lewa enters the courtyard once again, and the guards are still on patrol in their pre-determined paths. He quickly evaded the first guard and barely made it by the second one. However, he was moving too fast and the third guard caught him and promptly tossed him out on his rear.*

*Lewa refused to give up and dusted himself off again. He entered the courtyard one more time. He was about to get past the first guard when the guard turned around. Lewa quickly ran behind the bush and the guard continued on. Taking advantage of the moment, Lewa ran as fast as he could, passing by the first guard, the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth. However, that was when the sixth one caught him, blowing the whistle.*

Vahki 6: Hey. You. Hold it right there.

*Lewa looked around. None of the other guards were coming. He looked both ways, took the hilt of his sword, and hit that sonnava gun right in the head. He then put his sword away all cool style.*

Lewa: Well, he's out cold. Now to get to see the princess. She's got to be around here someplace.

*As he ran, the egg hatched into a new chicken, such as the miracle of life. He made a dash through the hedges and he met an unsual sight: A Toa of Fire fast asleep.*

Norik, snoring: mumble mumble mumble... You kids get off my lawn, ya hear?! *snores louder.*

Lewa: Who is this guy?

Navi: Well, the ranch girl did say her father got lost around here. You think this could be him?

Lewa: You got me on that one.

Navi: Why don't we play a prank on him for fun?

Lewa: I like where you're going with this.

*Thinking quickly, Lewa took the chicken and placed on top of the sleeping Toa's head. The chicken made no haste and started pecking the poor Toa of Fire with no mercy.*

Norik: YARRRGH!! What in tarnation?! *The Toa used his lava spear and... well, let's just say he and his daughter will be having fried chicken tonight.* Can't a person get a little shut-eye around here? *He looked around and his gaze met Lewa.*

*Lewa looked at the Toa of Fire, confused as to what was going on.*

Norik: Hello, and who might you be?

Lewa: Well, I'm Lewa and this is Navi. And you are…?

Norik: Well, yup, I'm Norik, the owner of Pon Pon Ranch! I live there with my daughter and my borther Lui-- I mean Iruini.

Iruini, from far away: Leave me out of this, you lazy bum! I, the hard-working Iruini, don't deserve this!

Norik: I went to the castle to deliver some milk, but I sat down here to rest, but I guess I fell asleep.

Lewa: Okay, because your daughter's looking for you. She asked me to search-find you.

Norik: What?! Vhisola was looking for me? I'm gonna catch it from her now! I messed up bad, leaving Vhisola behind to wait for me! She's really gonna let me have it now!

*Norik then took off at an incredbile speed, and this was without a Kanohi Kakama, mask of speed, mind you. In the blink of an eye, he took off and was nowhere to be seen.*

Navi: That went well.

Lewa: Yeah… Okay, now to find what's her name…

*Lewa regained his composure, and proceeded to the garden, now to progress the plot and see one of two romantic garden scenes of this script...*

*Lewa entered the garden, Navi bouncing about his head. In front of them was a young maiden.*

Navi: Okay, Lewa, that could be the princess up ahead. But let's go talk to her, just in case.

Lewa: Gotcha.

*Whoever she was, Lewa noticed she was staring through a window at an assembled group of people inside, almost like a curious child. Lewa approached her slowly. The young Toa turned around, startled by Lewa's sudden appearance.*

Nokama: Oh! Who are you? And how did you get past all the guards? Is that a fairy?

Lewa: I'm Lewa, and you have terrible security. You might want to fix-change that in the future. You could fall under attack by say, some insane guy wearing a mask-helmet and his minions.

Navi: Yes, I'm a fairy.

Nokama: Say, are you from the forest area?

Lewa: I am, as a matter of fact.

Nokama: Yeah, I thought you might be the one. Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't properly introduced myself yet! I'm Princess Nokama.

Lewa: You look like the girl in my dream.

Nokama: Um… okay. And oddly, you happen to look like the one with the fairy in my dream.

Lewa: You mean you have cross-wired freaky dreams, too?

Nokama: Yeah. But not as bad as that guy over there.

Vakama: It's all my fault I'm a cross-wired freak who has weird dreams.

Nokama: Yeah. In my dream, there's a guy with a fairy. And there's also a burn victim in black armor who brings evil and death with him. I think that guy is represented by… him. Check in the window right there… Look in the window.

Lewa: I don't want to. What if I get caught?

Nokama: Don't worry, you won't get caught. Just look.

*Lewa looked through the window and took notice. There were two Vahki guards, Turaga Dume, and a wicked man in black/red armor.*

Nokama: See that guy in the window, talking with my father? The one with the evil eyes?

*Lewa was having some trouble because there was the black/red armored guy with red eyes and a guard with mean eyes and big eyebrows, so he wasn't sure which one she was talking about.*

Lewa: I don't know, which one are you talking about?

Nokama: Not the guard, the tall guy with red armor.

*Antroz is walking up to Turaga Dume's chair, and proceeds to kneel before him.*

Antroz: Good news, your highness, I finished building that orphanage for the children after I rescued them all from that burning forest.

Antroz, voice-over: Ha ha ha! You fool, you don't realize that everything is going all according to my insanely brilliant plan!

Turaga Dume: That's great! But I asked you to go pick up some tacos!

Antroz: Really?

Dume: Yes. And what did you mean about your insanely brilliant plan?

Antroz: You're not supposed to hear that! It's my inner-most personal thoughts. That's not proper of you to do so.

(from outside)

Nokama: That's Antroz, the new de facto leader of the Brotherhood of Makuta.

Lewa: What happened with the old one?

Nokama: Some many years back, he got killed by one of our founders of Metru Nui, and first ruler. I learned about it in my history lesson.

Lewa: Wow, this first ruler sounds cool. I wish I could have met him.

Nokama: Yeah… Anyways, back to Antroz. That monster sickens me. He needs to be stopped.

*As Nokama was talking about her theory of why Antroz was down-right evil, Antroz himself looked out towards the window, spotting Lewa. Lewa quickly stumbled back, falling on his rump.*

Nokama: Did he see us? I guess it doesn't matter. After all, he doesn't know what we're doing.

Lewa: I'd like to hope not. He's a freak-scary guy.

Nokama: Anyways, back to what I was talking about… You've heard of the Triforce, haven't you?

Lewa: Yeah, a little bit.

Nokama: The way to the Triforce is guarded by the Door of Time, which is located in the Temple of Time. And the way to open the door is with three sacred spiritual stones and the Ocarina of Time.

Lewa: How many times did you say "time" in that one sentence?

Nokama: I know it's confusing, but stay with me. We can use the power of the Triforce to stop that monster before he lays waste to Metru Nui.

Lewa: I already have one. Where can I seek-find the other two?

Nokama: I'm not sure. I imagine in within the three major provinces. You just got here from the Faron province, so now you must travel to the Eldin and Lanayru provinces. You believe me, don't you?

Lewa: Sure I do. That Antroz guy gives me a dark-cold vibe.

Nokama: Great! My assistant Lariska will be sure to help you out. When you get the three stones together, we'll go to the Temple of Time together and we'll stop Antroz!

Lewa, blushing: Yeah…

*Lewa started to make his way out of the castle, but not before meeting with a strange... person.*

Lariska: So you're the one Nokama apparently had some dream about... I guess so. So you're looking for the Spiritual stones, I hear?

Lewa: Yes, I am.

Lariska: First, I must teach you a song to play that should be of use to you. It has been in the royal family for a long time now. *Lariska takes out a small musical whistle, and Lewa imitates it with Hahli's Ocarina. Thus, he gained Nokama's lullaby.*

Lariska: That was horrible. You need practice.

Lewa: Hey, this is my first time ocarina-playing.

Lariska: I suggest you start with Onu-Metru and the Ga-Metru to get the stones. I must leave you now. Hey, what's that over there?! *Lariska pointed to the left, and both Lewa and Navi turned around to look, but there was nothing. When they turned back around, Lariska was gone.*

Navi: Freak. Well, let's do what the man-lady said to do.

Lewa: Yeah, you're right. Well, at least she helped narrow the search for us.

*Lewa decided to go tackle Onu-Metru's Spiritual Stone first, seeing as it was the lesser of two evils. He hated being underground, but he hated water even more, so it only made sense to him to go here first. Plus, Onu-Metru was the home of McDonald's Underground: The REAL home of the Big Mac. Only the most exclusive people could get in and Lewa... was not one of them.*

Reidak, tossing Lewa outside: Duh, and stay out! DUH!

*Reidak the bouncer went back inside as Lewa dusted himself off.*

Lewa: You're just as mean-rude as those Vahki guards!

*Well, he wasn't going to get a Big Mac, today, but I guess that was okay since he still need to get the Spiritual stone. Lewa eventually made his way past the Archives and met face-to-face with who was in charge.*

Whenua: Hello there, skinny Toa of Air. How can I help you?

Lewa: We want the sacred stone of fire!

Whenua: I don't remember asking you anything.

Lewa: What? Yeah, you did.

Whenua: Get away from me. You make my eyes hurt!

Lewa: Well, that's mean!

Whenua: No, your fairy. She's too bright.

Navi: Fine, I'll back away…

Whenua: If you want the Spiritual stone, fine, you can have it. We don't use it for anything, anyway.

Lewa: Really? Thanks. Let's have it.

Whenua: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on there. I can't just give you something for nothing.

Lewa: Okay, then what do you want?

Whenua: Okay, well, according to my nerd clipboard, there's only three things around here that have to be done. One thing is to alphabetize my entire DVD library.

*Lewa looks behind him to see a ton of DVDs... and I mean like a who wall's worth of them, too.*

Navi: And the other two?

Whenua: Feed the Lohrak or listen to my hot new DJ music.

Lewa: I'll take the last one.

Whenua: Okay, little one, let's have at it!

Natalie Horler's voice: Hey, Dr. DJ, let the music take me underground.

*That's when Whenua started to dance as if he didn't have a care in the world to the awesome dance music from Cascada.*

Whenua: Oh, yeah, hot, yeah! Party, party, party! Party, party, party...

Navi and Lewa: ...

*42 Cascada songs and a bunch of other DJ electronica tracks later…*

Navi: My ears hurt…

Lewa: It wouldn't be so bad if his speakers weren't so loud!

Navi: At least it's over now…

Whenua: Oh, but we're not done yet.

Navi: What?

Lewa: We aren't?!

*73 hot DJ tracks later...*

Whenua: Party, party, party! Party, party, party!

*music stops.*

Whenua: Hey, who turned off my tunes?

Lewa: Do you do anything else aside from party.

Whenua: No.

Lewa: Hold on, I think I have an idea here…

Navi: Does it involve music?

Lewa: Yes, but different kind. He likes to party? So let's get him something else.

[Toarobot18]

Interest takes time to build, especially these days, when less people are active. It's only been six days. I suggest you give it more time. If you want it closed, you should PM a moderator.

Edited by Toarobot18, Jul 04 2012 - 11:16 PM.

[Lewa0111 Nuva]

Nah, don't close it, ShadowBionics, this is brilliant! Heck, even my comedies sometimes get less replies than this. Don't let it discourage you. I actually laughed quite a bit when reading this, especially the part with Nuju in the first chapter and the party-obsessed Whenua. It was especially funny since I recently started replaying the game this is based on, so I caught a lot of the references. Keep it up!

Lewa0111 Nuva

[ShadowBionics]

@Lewa0111 Nuva: Wow... I never knew... Okay, in that case, I won't close this at all, so ignore that paragraph from my previous post. Wow, that's pretty cool. I actually played the game myself back in 2010 to write this spoof back in the day. I'm very glad and honored to hear you like this.

@Toarobot18: All right, I will let the topic stay where it is, so in that case, no one listen to that paragraph. Better yet, I think I'd better edit that out.



*Lewa returned to Whenua's small throne room (what would you consider it?) from the Lost Woods. He thought of something to possibly help make Whenua stop being so party-active, and that was through a song Hahli had written. It was catchy, and yet it contrasted so much from all of the trance/dance/house/electronica/techno music they listened to non-stop with Whenua. It was a gamble, but it was better than nothing, really. Lewa made his way back in and he played Hahli's song. Then…*

*Whenua is seen dancing like a madman.*

Navi: Well, that did nothing at all.

Lewa: No, let's see what happends.

*Whenua keeps dancing until he falls to the ground.*

Navi: Well, that stops him from getting to his super high-tech stereo system. But now what?

Lewa: So where is this Lohrak of yours?

*Some time later, Lewa was able to make his way through the Archives. He would have asked Whenua for a map of the place, but now Lewa was now developing somewhat of a phobia of party-obsessed Toa of Earth, mainly Whenua himself. Whenua partially scared Lewa, with his loud voice and his habit of acting like a lunatic. *

*He fell down a hole and landed in a somewhat larger exhibit. While Lewa hadn't seen a Lohrak very much, he knew something was very wrong... a Lohrak wasn't all that large. The exhibit he was in was large enough for about 40 of them, and that's if you just piled them all in together without any room or food.*

*That moment, Lewa heard a loud noise. He turned around, only to meet face-to-face with a giant, mutated version of a regular Lohrak, flying right above him! Lewa stumbled backward, startled by the creature's sudden appearance.*

Lewa: Yikes! What do I do?!

Navi: Well… feed it, I guess. That's what Whenua said to do before we left.

* So Lewa reached into his pack and pulled out a spherical object and threw it right into the mutant's mouth, and the Lohrak wasted no time in swallowed it whole in a matter of seconds.*

Navi: Okay, mission accomplished. Now, you fed it the big cherry and not the bomb, right?

*Lewa looked at her with a blank expression. He reached into his pack again and he pulled out the giant cherry.*

Lewa: Does… this answer your question?

Navi: Oh, dear…

*The Lohrak then started yowling in pain, apparently from having its insides being blown up, and then it dropped to the floor, writhing in agony.*

Navi: Oh, this isn't good... let's get out of here and pretend this never happened!

Lewa: Way ahead of you, Navi!

*Lewa grabbed his stuff and the two then ran right out of the Archives and made it just outside Onu-Metru. There, they were met with none other than Toa Whenua, with a big grin on his face.*

Whenua: So, did you manage to feed my Lohrak okay?

(back in the exhibit)

Mutant Lohrak, writhing: The... pain...

(back outside)

Navi: Um... yeah, of course we did! Right Lewa?

Lewa: Yeah, you bet! You can count on us!

Whenua: Great, then here's your sacred stone... *Whenua then bestows Din's Ruby to Lewa.*

Lewa: All right. Two down, and one more to go.

Whenua: Before you go, a few of my guys want to show you a special way of attacking. They learned it from some guy named Krekka...

*Two random Toa then pop out from the earth, each on either side of Whenua.*

Whenua: Boys, show them how it works.

Random Toa 1: Well, boss, it goes something like this...

*The Two Toa slowly approach Lewa with their arms out. Lewa starts to back away slowly, but then he starts running for his life. Yeah, he's going to be messed up forever now, never going to be able to look at a Toa of Earth the same way ever again.*

Lewa: I'm going to be mentally scarred forever!

*Lewa continued to run until he somehow crashed into a sign that read "Pon-Pon Ranch. Figured he had nothing else to lose, he decided to head inside. There, he was greeted by the hard-working Iruini, and his newfound friend Vhisola.*

Vhisola: Hey, fairy boy! I'm so glad you found my father.

Lewa: Aw, it was nothing.

Vhisola: I'm training the horses over here. Here, I'd like you to meet Epona!

*Epona looks at Lewa, and then runs away.*

Vhisola: I don't think she likes you.

Lewa: Why won't anyone like me?!

Vhisola: Well, I know that you can make her feel better if you play a special song for her. My mom made it a long time ago.

Lewa, takes ocarina: So how does this song go?

*Vhisola hums a tune and Lewa imitates that tune. In a matter of seconds, Epona rushes over to him, continuously pushing him into the fence.*

Vhisola: See? She likes you now.

Lewa: Good horsey, nice horsey…

*Eventually, Lewa made it back to the Coliseum area after taking a small detour at Pon-Pon Ranch. With only one more spiritual stone to go, Lewa decided to go on ahead and make his way to Ga-Metru... Normally, Lewa wouldn't be too excited to go to a village of water... but it was helpful when he remembered the village was inhabited by all females... *

Lewa: This ought to be interesting.

Navi, groans: There has to be a better way to make you do things than with just girls...

*Sadly there wasn't, so let's just move on with the story. Of course, not everyone was a girl in this village. Apparently, Lego likes to break the stereotype once and a while and make us fans get all confused and go in debates and such.*

Tarix: For the last time, I'm not a girl!

Nixie: You're joking.

Idris: Totally joking. If you weren't, then you'd be a mutant.

Tarix, groans: Why doesn't anyone understand me?

*Lewa was walking to see the king of the place, when he tripped over a bottle. He looked at the bottle and saw there was a letter inside. So he got a bottle with a letter inside! But more importantly, he got a bottle. He opened the bottle and read the letter.*

"Dear Father,
By the time you read this, I will have been eaten by Lord Jabu-Jabu, and this is what I think will happen: You'll give me the spiritual stone, I'll get eaten by him, then you'll get attacked by some sunburned yelling guy, then some guy and a fairy will come along and get eaten as well.

PS: Then they will take down each other."

Lewa: Well, that was oddly specific. Hey, Navi, get a load of this weird-freakish letter I found!

Navi: If I didn't know better, I'd think it was setting up for a very bad spoof.

Lewa: Yeah, no kidding. Let's see if the king knows anything about this.

[ShadowBionics]

*Lewa had just found a message in a bottle from someone named Kiina. Navi figured the king might know something about it. The pair made it to the throne room of King Krulloc, once a formidable Glatorian warrior, but now… he was… larger.*

King Krulloc: I NEED FOOD!!!

Lewa: Seems like a reasonable guy.

Navi: Let's just show him the stupid letter so we can get the last gemstone and go to the Temple of Time.

Lewa: Hey, your largely Kingship, I found this letter here. You recognize it?

King Krulloc: Hmm… *reads letter aloud* This is from my daughter Kiina!

Lewa: Ah, so you do recognize it.

Krulloc: I knew I shouldn't have given her the spiritual stone like that. Lord Jabu-Jabu always mistakes it for small fish. Now Kiina has been eaten by him and there's no hope left! He's just been acting so strange lately and I don't even know why. How could he eat my daughter like that?

Lewa: What if I rescued her?

Krulloc: Splendid idea! To get to Lord Jabu-Jabu is a 2 hour journey, however.

Lewa: But isn't the entrance right behind you?

Krulloc: Yes. *And with that, he beings to slowly move over. And I mean slowly move over.*

Lewa: Can you quick-move a little more?

Krulloc, moving slowly: Be patient.

*20 minutes later…*

Lewa: So how long are we supposed to sit-wait?

Navi: 20 minutes less.

Lewa: It feels like it's been more!

Navi, sighs: No, it hasn't.

*40 minutes later…*

Lewa: You have any 7's?

Navi: Nah, go fish.

*Lewa takes a card from the middle pile between them.*

Lewa: You know, I think I will go fish!

*Lewa rushes over to a spring and catches a fish in a bottle.*

Navi: Well, that was random.

*So much later that the current narrator got tired of waiting and so they got a temporary replacement…*

Krulloc: And now you may pass.

Lewa: Thank Mata Nui! *Lewa ran up the steps, zoomed past the king, and waded through the water to make it to Lord Jabu-Jabu. In just minutes, they made it to where Lord Jabu-Jabu resided. Lewa was amazed at the size of Lord Jabu-Jabu himself.

Lewa: I wonder how big he is compared to my fish.

Navi: That's a stupid question with an obvious answer, you know?

*Never the less, Lewa wanted to compare him to a fish he had caught earlier at the spring, so he took out a bottle and released the fish right in front of Lord Jabu-Jabu.*

*But by doing so, Lord Jabu-Jabu thought it was feeding time, so he opened his mouth and began to inhale deeply, taking in not only Lewa's fish, but the Toa and his fairy companion as well. They awoke a few minutes later, seeing they were inside the belly of the great guardian. Navi began beating up on Lewa out of boredom.*

Navi: Great, now we're trapped inside the giant fish. Now what do we do?

*Lewa looked around, and so far there wasn't really anything to help them get out. There were just all of these organisms that were unfamiliar to him roaming around.*

Lewa: I guess all we can do is search-find this Kiina girl and get out of here with the Spiritual stone.

*Lewa began to go through the bowels (that's a funny word) of the great guardian. After going around for what seemed like hours (it was actually like 10 minutes), Lewa made it to a place in the body he thought was possibly near the head. Lewa walked in, and the first thing he saw was the bio-electric anemone Barinade, electric shocks pulsating from its large appendages!*

Navi: You fool, where did you think you were going?! And if you're going to make me walk around here, forget it! These are new shoes!

Lewa: Wait? How can you wear shoes if you're just a floating lightbulb?

Navi: Well, you think I'm a floating lightbulb, but there's actually about me than you see.

Lewa: Well, I don't have time to really dispute-question that, since I have a boss to fight!

*And so he was now facing off against this large organism, which was possibly what was causing the great whale guardian to be acting as strangely as he did. Lewa dodged the electric shocks and its large bulb-like appendages, eventually making it to the very heart of the organism. Taking his sword, he swiped at it a number of times until the thing let out a shriek of pain. After that, it turned a rash red and it began to expand until it exploded. Lewa looked at the carnage around him, as he was surrounded by green fluid and red tissue.*

Lewa: Um, ew?

*In the center was a magic exit. As Navi went on to yell as Lewa for doing something so disgusting and stupid, he ran for the exit.*

*Lewa was back in Ga-Metru now, where he was face-to-face with another strange sight: The Female fighter Kiina.*

Lewa: Wait, what--?!

*Started, Lewa literally fell on his rump when the two's eyes met, right into the water... something he didn't want to do again anytime soon. Kiina laughed at him and jumped into the water to join him. She neared him as she swam closer.*

Kiina: Hey, the name's Kiina.

Lewa: Oh. All right.

Kiina: Were you coming here to save me?

Lewa: Um, yeah. I only defeated the boss to try and get you out.

Kiina: While you and your fairy friend were waiting for my father to let you through, I had enough time to get out of Lord Jabu-Jabu.

Lewa: Well, that's just great. Do you have any idea how long I had to sit-wait for?

Kiina: I'm sorry. I really wish he didn't mistake me for a fish or anything, but that's a whale for you. Anyways, you're probably here for that sacred stone, aren't you?

Lewa: You'd guess right on that one.

Kiina: Well, I GUESS I can give it to you. It's not like you did anything bad like hurt Lord Jabu-Jabu afterall. If anything, you saved him from that gross thing inside. Anyway, I guess I'll let you have it now. Here you go.

*So then Kiina gives Lewa the last sacred stone, meaning now he had all three of them. What was his next move? To be honest, I don't know. He should probably try returning to Nokama or something, she wanted these things after all.*

*Lewa's thoughts were interrupted as Kiina got near-close to him... a little TOO near-close to him.*

Kiina, seductive giggle: You know... that stone I just gave you... where I come from, it's like our own little engagement ring. I'm not really supposed to give it to just anyone, only the man I'm going to marry.

*Lewa started to blush a little beneath his mask.*

Lewa: What are you getting at?

*He had a feeling of where this was going, as do I seeing as I'm the one writing this stuff, meaning I have some sort of idea of what I'm typing as I go along.*

Kiina: You're kind of cute, actually.

*She got closer to him, their faces almost touching. Both of them were blushing. Navi was sort of beside herself.*

Navi: ???

Kiina: I guess now that I've given that thing to you... you and I are officially an item.

*You could have pushed Lewa over with a feather after he heard that. Plus, I think he nearly passed out in the water, so that's not a good thing. They made it back to land, but the moment they did, Kiina decided to continue.*

Kiina, embarrassed: I'm sorry, but I didn't even catch your name. You don't really talk much, do you? *she got close to him and lowered her voice to a whisper.* I like that.

*Lewa sort of fell to her feet. He was still sort of embarrassed and confused as to what was going on, reducing him to a somewhat blathering cool dude who couldn't talk correctly.*

Navi: His name's Lewa, for the record.

Kiina: Lewa... that's a nice name. I'll keep that in mind. Now then... you'd better not forget about our engagement. I'll be waiting for you... but don't think you can keep me waiting for a long time, otherwise I WILL come and find you.

Lewa: Is that a threat?

Kiina: You decide…

*So Kiina gave him Nayru's Sapphire and told Lewa to keep their little "ordeal" a secret. Lewa promised, seeing as he wasn't too sure what to really do now that he was technically engaged.*

*Still confused and a bit dazed (LOL "Dazed and Confused" reference), he eventually made it back outside the Coliseum, but moment he did, there was a dark shadow glooming overhead, and a storm was brewing. Then, the gates began to lower down.*

Lewa: Why is this familiar?

*He had no time to think as he had to run out of the way. Lariska and Nokama were making a getaway on a horse at a very high speed.*

Nokama: Lewa, help! Lariska, turn back.

Lariska: I am sorry, Princess, but we cannot turn back or else we will have to face the red yelling man.

Nokama: Fine. *She takes the Ocarina of Time and throws it at Lewa. Sadly, Nokama had bad aim and she hit Lewa right in the nose, and the ocarina bounced off his face and into the surrounding moat.*

*Lewa got back up and saw they were out of sight. He then turned around and saw he was face-to-face with Antroz and his evil pony.*

Lewa: NOOOOOO!!!

Antroz: What are you screaming about?

Lewa: Sorry, I thought this was my dream.

Antroz: Then you must have very weird dreams. But enough of that. Tell me, kid, did you happen to see an ugly tall woman and a cute Toa of water pass by here?

Lewa: Nope, haven't seen them.

Antroz: Really? Darn it. You know, the things that happen to me, I tell you. Why can't my evil plans go right, I swear? The only thing that went right for me was when I stole this glow-in-the-dark baseball.

*Antroz raised his hand with the baseball, but instead it flies out of his hand and knocks Lewa back a few feet.*

Antroz: Where did that silly thing go?!

Lewa: You hit me with a baseball!

Antroz: I'm sorry! Don't blame it on me, it was the baseball's fault!

*Antroz and his horse Nexus flee the scene and Lewa stares at them with mixed feelings of pity and indigestion.*

Lewa: He is a real bizarre-freak.

*After shaking off that experience, Lewa goes into the moat and retrieves the Ocarina of Time from it. And then he triggers a recorded memory.*

Nokama, voice-over: Lewa, can you hear me? It's me, Princess Nokama. If you're visioning thing, then that means I am no longer here.

Lewa: Mata Nui, she's dead!!

Nokama, voice-over: No, and stop interrupting the flashback! Anyways, it means that I am not here, but now you have to go to the Temple of Time and place the three spiritual stones in their proper place. Then, to open the Door of Time, you must play the Song of Time on the Ocarina of Time.

Lewa: How many times did she say "Time" there?

*Nokama plays the Song of Time for him, and Lewa imitates the notes, thus learning the song. Now knowing what he had to do, he went for the Temple of Time.*

*Lewa made it back to the main town by the Coliseum. No one was really outside. It didn't matter, he had no time for leisure, he had to get answers. That's when he noticed a building adjacent to the Coliseum, one he never took particular interest in before. Was this the Temple of Time he was looking for? He decided to go inside. As he did, he was struck by a strange sight... a pedestal with three slots in them. Lewa then took out the three spiritual stones, looking at them. He approached the pedestal and placed them one by one into their correct spots.*

Navi: Okay, well, that's done.

Lewa: Now for the final touch…

*Lewa plays the Song of Time on his ocarina. To his surprise, the walls gave away, revealing a door, which proceeded to open. Just like one of those doors at the super market.*

Navi: Could it be?

*Together, the two raced into the new room, where they were met with an incredible sight.*

Navi: It is! The blade of evil's bane... The Master Sword...

*For some reason, Lewa had an idea where this was going, and not because he watched "The Sword in the Stone," or anything.*

Lewa: Hey, Navi, is this like the legend of King Arthur? Does this mean if I take this sword that I become a king?

Navi: I doubt that's how it works. Besides, who'd want to make you the king of anything?

Lewa: Only one way to find out… *He took the sword in both hands and began to ease it up, lifting it from the pedestal where it rested.*

*The moment he did so, there was a brilliant blinding light. No one seemed to notice a small cloud of antidermis leaking from the pedestal. It belonged to a much greater evil from days long past…*

Antroz: Ha ha ha! Well done, kid. I knew I could count on you. Now that you've opened the door to the Sacred Realm, nothing can stop me now!

Teridax's voice: Arise, Makuta Antroz.

Antroz: Teridax…

Edited by ShadowBionics, Jul 07 2012 - 02:23 AM.

[ShadowBionics]

*Lewa's head was hurting. One moment he was pulling the sword in the stone (and sadly, he didn't become king of anything), the next he woke up in the middle of the fountain. Lewa was wallowing around until his gaze met with a scary old man with a beard.*

Lewa: My head… what happened? I pulled out the sword and then…

Scary old man: Well, good morning, sleepy head. I am Rauru the sage.

Lewa: Ah! Scary old man!

Rauru: There's no need to be alarmed, Lewa.

Navi: So how long have we been down here?

Rauru: Oh, I don't know. I'd say... exactly seven years!

Navi: What?!

Rauru: No, I'm just joking. It's only been… exactly seven days!

Lewa: So I've been out-cold for a week?

Navi, groans: Okay, so what's the deal here?

Rauru: You mean you don't know? He's the Hero of Time. Here to collect the Triforce.

Lewa: The what?

Rauru: The Triforce. The power of the gods? That Triforce.

Lewa: I can't remember… my head…

Rauru: The Deku tree was supposed to tell you about all this! Oh, well, I guess I'll have to. Okay, so a long time ago, there were these three goddesses.

Lewa: Where they stunning-pretty?

Rauru: No. In fact, they looked like Oscars. One day they decided to create the world, and together they did. But after they realized they made a huge mistake in doing so, they decided to run all the way back to the heavens. They were in such a rush, they crashed into each other and formed the Triforce in the spot before they got up and fled again.

Lewa: All right, cool. Can I have it?

Rauru: Oh, well, see here's the thing... I had it ready for you, but then when you pulled the sword out from the stone, it revealed a gate to the sacred realm. Antroz found the gate and he was able to get in.

Navi: How did that happen?

Rauru: I forgot to lock the gate.

Navi, groans: Is every guy in this story a moron?

Lewa: So does that mean I'm not a king?

Navi: That answers my question. So he's got ultimate power now?

Rauru: No, when he was running with the Triforce out in front of him, he tripped over a bottle and he landed face first on the ground, causing the Triforce to break into three pieces. So he only got the Triforce of Power. You on the other hand, got the Triforce of Courage out of the deal. And I'm guessing whoever is the rightful owner of the Triforce of Wisdom has it now.

Navi: And so you don't know who it is.

Rauru: No.

Navi, sarcastic: You're really useful, you know that?

Rauru: Thank you. Now off you go.

Lewa: I'm off?

Navi: To do what?

Rauru: To go through some dangerous dungeons to awaken the other sages, of course, so that way when Lewa has to face Antroz, we can lend him our strength and create a magic bridge so he can make it to the Coliseum.

Navi: But we've been there before without needing some silly bridge.

Rauru: Yes, because that was a week ago. Antroz completely destroyed the Coliseum and created his own castle that's on this island surrounded by lava. So in other words, if you tried to cross it now, you'd be roasted alive.

Lewa: I don't want to be roasted alive!

Navi: So we can't just go hire a bridge-builder?

Rauru: That's right. And besides, it has to be a magic bridge. Get going. But first, let me give Lewa this over-sized novelty coin.

*So the scary old man raises his arms and from the sky comes a gold over-sized novelty coin with the Temple of Time symbol on it.*

Rauru: And if you ever forget where you need to go, just remember the Captain Planet theme song. Except instead of Earth, wind, and heart, there are the temples of desert, death, and forest.

*Moments later, Lewa and Navi are teleported out of that strange fountain area, right back where they started from when Lewa pulled the sword from the stone. He looked at the Master Sword, checking it out. He wasn't sure what happened to his Air Sabre (actually Tahu somehow got ahold of it and kept it safe for him), nor his old shield. *

Navi: Has it really been a week since you got the sword?

Lewa: I don't know. We can go see.

*As Lewa begins to exit, he notices that he and Navi were being watched. He takes his sword and quickly turns around to see someone dressed and armored like a Dark Hunter.*

Lewa: Who are you, mysterious ninja-person?

Nessk: I am Neesk, lone survivor of the Dark Hunters.

Lewa: Wait… what do you mean?

Nessk: Makuta Antroz wiped out a majority of the Dark Hunters.

Lewa: Then you aren't a lone survivor.

Nessk: Shut up, you're ruining my moment! Now then, Metru Nui has changed in the last seven days. It has become a world of monsters and stupidity. Antroz has turned it into a nightmare.

Lewa: So what do I do?

Nessk: You must awaken the sages.

Lewa: I kind of knew that.

Nessk: You must go into the forest, over a mountain, under the water, through the Shadow Temple, and even through time.

Lewa: Wow, you're much more helpful than the scary old man.

Nessk: Before heading to the forest, I suggest heading into Ta-Metru to pick up a little something I left for you.

Lewa: Why can't I get it now?

Nessk: Because I was too lazy to bring it with me. Also, you might as well go get a new shield.

Lewa: Whatever you say, Mido.

Nessk: Be warned, though. What you see out there is going to be quite a shock to you.

Lewa: How much dark-carnage can Antroz cause in a week?

*Lewa walks out of the Temple of Time and sees the entire town is destroyed, nothing but demolished buildings, zombies, and broken dreams left. In addition, Death Mountain has this threatening ring of fire all around the peak. That wasn't even the half of it.*

Lewa: Oh, you…

Navi: I guess he wasn't kidding.

Lewa: Yeah. Let's go see the Coliseum.

Navi: Wait, Lewa, don't!

*Lewa ignores her and he runs to where the Coliseum once stood, only to see a dark-looking tower on a lonely island surrounded by lava.*

Navi, panting: Rauru just said it wasn't there anymore…

Lewa, saddened: No… it's not.

*Lewa decided to leave and exit. After debating what to do first, he thought about his shield and resolved to go get a new one. He thought about where he saw a shield last and then remembered Pon Pon Ranch, moreso that strange guy Iruini.*

*At Pon Pon Ranch...*

Iruini: I, the hard-working Iruini, don't have to be treated this way. Where is that lazy bum Norik anyway? I don't see him doing any work around here.

*Norik was fast asleep in the chicken coop. I guess doing nothing all day really gets a guy tired.*

Iruini: Oh, well, someday this will pay off. And I won't end up being some bum in a Milk Bar trying to drink away all my problems, either! And would you stop dancing around, you sill girl?!

*Vhisola stopped in her tracks. She was sometimes scared of Iruini, especially since he looks like Darth Vader from behind with that silly-looking Vahki-like mask he had on.*

Iruini: Well, then, if Norik is going to make lazy and do nothing, then guess what? So will I!

*Iruini laid down his spear and shield by a tree and then be laid down beneath it and slowly drifted off to some well-deserved sleep.*

Vhisola: Doesn't look like Iruini's acting like himself lately. I wonder if he's okay?

Iruini, mumbling: I, the hard-working Iruini... size 8 boots...

Vhisola: What does he want with boots?

*Vhisola was looking at Iruini, almost dumbfounded actually. Her expression changed when she saw a familiar friend walking right past those gates.*

Vhisola: Fairy boy! *She ran to Lewa, giving him a big hug.*

Lewa: Oh. Hello again.

Vhisola: Am I glad to see you. Thanks so much for helping daddy get home! It was getting sort of strange with just Iruini here, so that's why I left to find him. So, what did you need?

*Lewa sort of looked past Vhisola and at Iruini under tree, more specifically his shield. Vhisola caught this and looked in that direction.*

Vhisola: Ooh... I know what you're thinking. I kind of figured you wanted a new shield since you don't have one anymore when you walked over here.

Lewa: Yeah. I don't know what happened to my other one. Or my first sword for that matter…

*Somewhere in Ta-Metru…*

Tahu: I found Lewa's sword! I took it from him while some burn victim ran off with some triangle things!


*Back at Pon Pon Ranch.*

Vhisola: It's not going to be easy, but I think we can do it. I think he's got another shield locked up in his shack somewhere, but this one'll be easier to get. At least... I think he does. Oh, well, whatever. Let's go before he wakes up.

Lewa: Got it. Wait, so what if he doesn't have another shield?

Vhisola: Let's… pretend he does and take the one he's got with him anyway.

*Together they sort of snuck around the ranch, behind the tree where Iruini was asleep. Then they ducked into the grass and began to crawl over to where the shield lay against the tree with his spear. It was going to take some luck to swipe the shield without making any noise and then sneaking out of the ranch without getting noticed, but it had to be done.*

*Iruini tossed and turned a little, but nothing much after that. Lewa slowly crawled forward and he got very close to the tree. He laid his hands on the shield and slowly began to take it away. He began to retreat back to Vhisola when Iruini started to wake up. The first thing he noticed was his shield was missing. The second thing he noticed was Lewa holding his shield.*

Vhisola: Run, fairy boy, run!

*Lewa began to run for his life as Iruini took off for him. It almost seemed as though Lewa would be able to out-run him, but then Iruini decided to use his Kanohi Mask to appear right in front of the ranch gates to lock them.*

Iruini: You're not going to get my lucky shield that easily.

*Lewa stopped. He then took his ocarina and played a song.*

Iruini: And what's that going to do for you?

*Epona wasted no time and kicked Iruini, sending him flying through the air.*

Lewa: Ha! Take that! *Lewa rides off on Epona, escaping from Pon Pon Ranch.*

Iruini: Oh... I guess he is. Darn it! That was my lucky shield! The other one I have is not so lucky... oh, well. It's not like my life is going to be cursed because of this blunder, right?

*Well... I guess we'll have to wait until the sequel. So Lewa was able to make his escape from Pon Pon ranch. Vhisola looked up at the sky.*

Vhisola, sigh: Is it just me, or am I finding the fairy boy kinda...? Maybe I am.

*With Epona, Lewa rides into Ta-Metru and finds a locked box at the entrance. Lewa takes it and now he has the hookshot*

Lewa: All right!


*Lewa went to Le-Metru and made it to the village, which was ridden with freakish plants and monsters. Lewa took care of a few of them and made it to the Lost woods. There, he met with a familiar face.*

Gandalf: You shall not pass!!

*After that, he met with ANOTHER familiar face.*

Mido: You shall not pass!!

Lewa: Why not?

Mido: Because Hahli said she didn't want anyone to bother her while she went to the Forest Temple.

Lewa: I'm Lewa. I have to get through!

Mido: You're not Lewa.

Navi: And you're not very smart, are you?

Lewa: I think he REALLY needs those glasses.

Mido, facing the wrong way: I don't need any glasses! Just because you're 10-feet tall doesn't mean you can boss-order me around!

Navi and Lewa:

*Lewa, after thinking quickly, played the song Hahli taught him those many days ago.*

Mido: Huh? Hahli only taught that song to her friends. So that must mean… you're friends with Hahli! Okay, I'll let you through. For some reason, when I see you, I'm reminded of… him.

*After Mido moves over, Lewa makes it into the Forest Temple, passing though all the horrible monsters on that way. Antroz really didn't want anyone getting in his way of ruling the world Lewa walked into the temple and eventually made it to the main boss chamber. He looked around, but there was nothing inside of the circular room except for some painting. He took a bow and some arrows off of the wall and he looked around to see it was just totally empty. He thought he had taken a wrong turn somewhere and decided to go back. The moment he does, a spiked gate appears, locking him inside. He turns around to come face-to-face with... Antroz?!*

Navi: It's Antroz!

Antroz?: No, I am not Antroz... I am his phantom, Bantroz! If you can figure out which picture I'm hiding in, you win!

*So the phantom Antroz jumps into one of the paintings (when did this become a cartoon?) and begins to run around throught the array of paintings. Luckily, Lewa's sharp eyesight and reflexes allowed him to spot the phantom and allow him to attack. Using the bow and arrows he stole—borrowed, he shot Bantroz.*

Bantroz: Darn it. You beat me at hide and seek... but let's see you beat me at... Tennis!

Lewa: Well, it's a good thing I'm pretty good at Wii sports, then. This should be easy.

*So the phantom unleashed a sphere of shadow energy and shot it at Lewa. As Lewa mentioned before, because he was good at Wii sports, more so the tennis part of the game, it was a breeze for him and he easily beat the false Antroz.*

Bantroz: NOOOOOOO!!! *He began to slowly crumble to pieces. Below him, a dark portal opened in the floor.*

Antroz's voice: Well done. You managed to beat my phantom. I'll try to remember to upgrade him the next time we fight. Stupid windows vista. Oh, well, no matter. Defeating the real me won't be as easy. Like you, I play Wii Sports as well! *The phantom began to crumble to pieces as he was lowered into the dark portal, banished away until Antroz would need him again, and this time he would be upgraded to Windows 7, which was NOT my idea.*

*Once that was done, a magic exit opened up for Lewa. Wanting to get out of there, Lewa took the magic exit, where he was teleported to the fountain once again. Although instead of meeting with Rauru again, he was met with ANOTHER ANOTHER familiar face.*

Hahli: Hi, Lewa. Thanks to you, I was able to awaken as the Forest Sage.

Lewa: You mean it was you the whole time?

Hahli: Don't look so surprised, Lewa... Although, I'm going to miss you now. *Hahli begins to tear up at that moment, but she hides her face.*

Lewa: Hahli…

Hahli: No, don't say another word. Here, take the over-sized novelty coin so that I may add my strength to yours. *She wipes away the tears, lifts up her arms, and from the sky comes the green over-sized novelty coin with the symbol of the Forest Temple on it.* I'll always... be there... I'll always be your friend, Lewa...

*After meeting Hahli one last time, the magic exit took him back to where the old Deku Tree once stood. That's when he noticed a four-leaf clover from the ground. He went over to pluck it for good luck, but suddenly the clover shot out from the ground with a strange-looking small tree attached to it.*

Lewa: Who... are you?

Deku Tree Sprout: I'm the Deku Tree's son.

Lewa: But how can a tree have a son?

Deku Tree Sprout: Don't question these things. Now that you've awakened the sage and cured the forest of Antroz's curse, I can finally grow and flourish.

Lewa: Okay. Can I have the four-leaf clover on your head?

Deku Tree Sprout: No. Now, I'm going to tell you another story about how you ended up living here. That is if the author doesn't decide to cut me off in favor of going to write the next chapter.

*And that's actually what happens, so Lewa listens to whatever the Deku Tree Sprout tells him and he then goes off to resume his journey.*

[ShadowBionics]

All right, due to a decision I've made, this is going to be my last comedy on BZPower. No, it's not because of the lack of replies, I understand that now. However after re-evaluating a few things I've arrived at the conclusion that, as someone once told me after I stopped writing ADITLOT, my writing is no longer needed on here. So, after the final chapter is posted of this story, I guess that'll be it.

I thought of posting the sequel to this story, The Moron's Mask, afterwards, but I don't think I probably should anymore. The story is done and it's just a matter of me posting all the chapters, but... I'm very sorry. Granted, most people probably don't remember me or know who I am, so I guess it won't be such a huge thing. But for those who do and those who remember back when I first made Ask Roodaka, ADITLOT, and the TSO Ridiculous Mission trilogy, I'm honestly very sorry, but I just feel so out of place now. Perhaps what those bullies told me in their PM's is right. I can't say for sure.

I won't leave again, however, I'll still be on here as a regular member and I'll post when I can and I'll probably even make topics for whatever new MOCs and what little Bionicle fan art I have, otherwise I'll most likely just be off to the side. It'll be much like when I joined in 2004, except I'll be trying to post more.

Well, friends, I guess this will be it. There will be seven more chapters after this one is posted left (there are 14 chapters to this, spoilers) of this story. Like I said, while most people probably don't know or recognize me from the old days, for those who do, I'm deeply sorry if you were looking forward to me bringing back old projects or making new ones with the same charm and charisma, but fact is I guess my new projects lack that charm and charisma.


*Lewa was having fun using his hookshot to go from wall to wall of various buildings in Le-Metru. *

Navi: Shouldn't we talk to that Nessk guy or something?

Lewa: But I'm having so much joy-fun! I feel like Spider-man with this.

Navi: Do I have to beat you upside the head again?

Lewa, sighs: Okay…

*So Lewa went back to the Temple of Time were he first met Nessk, and sure enough there he was.*

Nessk: You successfully awakened the sage and lifted the curse on the Forest Temple.

Lewa: Really? I don't remember doing that.

Nessk: The time will come when you have to return here quickly, so I'm going to teach you an ocarina song.

Lewa: What will that do?

Nessk: It'll teleport you here when you play it. *Nessk takes out a harp and plays a few notes, which Lewa imitates on the ocarina, thus learning the Prelude of Light.*

Lewa: All right. Is that all?

Nessk: The time will also come when you have to return to your own time, and to do that, just put the sword back in the pedestal.

Lewa: Like this? *Lewa walks over and puts the sword back in the pedestal of time, and he's taken back to 1969, where we'll hit the city of freedom like old times. Okay, I'll stop. He's taken back to one week ago, before everything turned into a ruined wasteland.*

Navi: But time travel doesn't work that way!

Lewa: Who cares? I'm not there anymore!

Navi: You're going to have to go back eventually, you know.

Lewa: Yeah, I know. But until then, let's have fun!

*Lewa goes to Lake Hylia where he discovers a fishing place. Interested, Lewa goes inside where he sees a guy at a counter… and he's got a bad itch.*

Fisherman: Hey there, guy.

Lewa: Hi, guy at the counter who's itch-scratching like crazy.

Fisherman: Came here to fish, did you?

Lewa: Yup, sure did. Can I call you King Itchy?

Fisherman, scratching: Why?

Lewa: Um… no reason.

*Lewa decides to rent some equipment and he goes fishing and he relaxes in the small lake… however, he actually fails to realize the "lake" is actually a small pond with no fish in it, so how Lewa manages to waste time there is beyond me. After a while he leaves because Navi gets impatient with him and actually does hit him upside the head. He goes back to the temple and takes the sword again.*

Nessk: Welcome back.

Lewa: How long was I gone for?

Nessk: About 2 hours, but nothing big. Anyways, just go to the Fire Temple and hurry up.

Lewa: Where is that? Ta-Metru?

Nessk: Close, but no. Onu-Metru.

Lewa: Wait… did you say..?

Navi: Oh, no, you did it now.

Lewa: I don't want to go there! Plus it doesn't even make sense!

Nessk: Yes, but that's how this story goes, so just get over it! Just suck it up and take it down like a man!

*Lewa had to go back to Onu-Metru against his will. Navi did what she could as to make sure he didn't go completely insane. He made it into the village. Strangely, there wasn't anyone around, so it was awfully quiet. You'd think maybe Whenua was playing his loud house music or something, but no, not even that. Lewa could have taken this as a sign of danger, but he didn't. In fact, he was too busy enjoying the fact there were no party-happy Onu-Toa around to bother him. That's when he eventually made it to the entrance of the Fire temple. He went inside and made it into a large chamber with an enormous pillar overhead. Below that, however was a equally enormous pit of lava. But that wasn't what scared Lewa, because straight across was none other than Toa Whenua.*

Lewa: O_O

Whenua: Check it out, brother! Tahu thinks he's so hot, well here I am in a room full of lava! It's a regular pyromania down here!

Navi: Aside from bad puns on Cascada songs, what is going on here?

Lewa: And why is the village empty?

Whenua: Since you came all this way to see me, I guess you really want to party with me Onu-Metru style. Well, sorry, but we can't at the moment. Because there's a dragon down here who stole my karaoke machine! Oh, and he kidnapped the rest of the inhabitants of Onu-Metru. But more importantly, he stole my karaoke machine! So even though I don't have the Megaton hammer, I'm going in there to save it! *Whenua goes right through the door and locks it behind him. Okay, nothing wrong with that, I guess.*

Navi: You know, if we had that hammer, we could break that lock off the door.

Lewa: Very true, but to cross-walk over there is another story. But yes… a hammer…

*Lewa found this to be a good idea. So he went around a few rooms, defeated a few monsters, and found a large spiraling room with a chest at the top. He scaled the room and made it to the chest, where he opened it and got the Megaton Hammer.

Lewa: I wish I could call this the Megacrush Hammer.

Navi: Why?

Lewa: So I could call it MC Hammer for short.

Navi: Whatever you say, Lewa.

*So after that, Lewa decided to quickly go back and find a way through that door by breaking the lock. It wasn't very difficult after he realized he had jets on his armor to get to the other side, too. After doing so, he proceeded to the boss chamber, which was full of holes with lava in them. There was a loud rumbling and then the sound of old fashioned country music.*

Volvagia (Johnny Cash voice): I fell into a burning ring of fire. I went down, down, down and the flames went higher... *Volvagia then goes into one of those lava openings, his voice continuing to sing.*

Lewa: Not a country-singing dragon!

Navi, groans: What's wrong now?

Lewa: Next to Toa of Earth, country-singing dragons are one of my biggest fear-scares!

Navi: Lewa, seriously, you have to get over yourself. Now go and take care of that silly dragon!

*There was really nothing he could do... except then he looked at the MC Hammer and then at the fact that Volvagia popped his head out of those hidey-holes of his. This gave him an idea. He ran to the holes with the hammer ready.*

Lewa: This is where years of playing Whack-a-mole pay off!

*Then that's when he Lewa started to play a little game of Whack-a-Vol. The moment Volvagia popped his head out of a hole, Lewa hit him with it until... Volvagia was stopped in his tracks. If Lewa could talk, I bet he'd say, "Stop! Hammer time!" or something because it's the perfect opportunity.*

Volvagia, as he dies: And it burns, burns, burns. The Ring Of Fire The Ring Of Fire.... *The dragon burns up to a crisp, nothing but its bones are left.*

Lewa: I love you, MC Hammer!

Natalie Horler, singing: Soon as the fire is running wild, I will surrender to Fahrenheit... and I don't want to apologize, it's getting hot, hot, and I'm burning up...

Navi: ??? what?

Natalie: If it's written by Shadows, I'm guaranteed to make an appearance. Plus, I mean you have to admit being here was just asking for a "Pyromania" reference.

Navi: Oh, brother...

*Lewa wasn't paying much attention, as he was in awe over Natalie. Navi dragged him to the magic exit as Natalie, sitting up with her legs out on the rock, waved good bye as Lewa was taken away from the Fire Temple.*

Natalie: Okay, so now how do I get out of here?

Preston Stormer: Did someone call for a hero?

Natalie: No, not really... especially you guys.

William Furno: Awww.

Natalie Breez: Why don't people like us?!

Natalie: Maybe because they don't like name-stealers like you.

Natalie Breez: Oh... Um... I can explain.

Natalie, angry: Don't.

Jimi Stringer, sighs: Don't push your luck, rookie.

*Meanwhile, back in the chamber of the sages...*

Whenua: Hello, there, brother.

Lewa: No, not you! Anyone but you!

Whenua: Turns out I'm the Sage of the Fire Temple... not Tahu!

Lewa: NOOOOOO!!!

Whenua: Ha ha! This calls for a party!

Lewa: NOOOOOO!!!

Navi: Oh, dear, no! Just let him have the over-sized novelty coin so we can leave!

Whenua: All right then, you asked for it.

*Whenua raised his arms and from the sky comes a red over-sized novelty coin with the Fire Temple symbol on it.*

Whenua, singing to music: Novelty novelty novelty. Novelty novelty novelty. Novelty novelty novelty.

*As he sung, the coin was spinning repeatedly. Lewa stopped Whenua from singing, thus stopping the coin from spinning so he could get it.*

Lewa: Thank you, and good night.

Navi: You know, for some reason I feel like we're forgetting something.

Lewa: Whatever it is, forget it. I'm not going back there! I'll be having cross-wired nightmares for years thanks to this place!

*Back in the Fire Temple...*

Bomonga, locked up: Hello? Is anyone out there? I've been locked in here for a while now... I feel alone... and scared. Oh...

Mark Surge: Hey, wait, how come I didn't get any lines?!

Duncan Bulk: That's just how things go these days, kid.

Edited by ShadowBionics, Jul 09 2012 - 10:58 PM.

[Lewa0111 Nuva]

That's too bad to hear you're quitting comedy writing. It's not good that people are bullying you over PM's; have you reported them? Pretty sure bullying's against the rules. Whatever your decision is, that's okay, but let me tell you that I don't get all that many replies either, and never let that stop me. (Well, I HAVE stopped regularly updating for a while but that has nothing to do with BZP, just that I don't have very much free time any more.) Anyway, this chapter was pretty good, especially "Whack-a-Vol" and the random appearance of Hero Factory characters. "Hey, how come I don't get any lines" at the end made me laugh out loud. Looking forward to the rest of this and if it matters, my vote is for you to continue with the sequel, but ultimately the decision's up to you.

Lewa0111 Nuva

[ShadowBionics]

That's too bad to hear you're quitting comedy writing. It's not good that people are bullying you over PM's; have you reported them? Pretty sure bullying's against the rules. Whatever your decision is, that's okay, but let me tell you that I don't get all that many replies either, and never let that stop me. (Well, I HAVE stopped regularly updating for a while but that has nothing to do with BZP, just that I don't have very much free time any more.) Anyway, this chapter was pretty good, especially "Whack-a-Vol" and the random appearance of Hero Factory characters. "Hey, how come I don't get any lines" at the end made me laugh out loud. Looking forward to the rest of this and if it matters, my vote is for you to continue with the sequel, but ultimately the decision's up to you.

Lewa0111 Nuva

Yeah, I'm sorry and I know I might disappoint a few people. But after some re-evaluating I just came to that conclusion. That, and apparently my writing is too "aged" that people might not understand it. That's kind of why I stopped trying to bring over some of my older series like ADITLOT, The Mask series, and Ask Roodaka here. And yeah, I know my stuff isn't as popular as yours, but I'm rather shocked at the replies and all. Then again, one of my friends from the old days said once that activity on here went from "Metru Nui scale" to "Ga Koro scale."

I'm glad you liked that part of the story. This next chapter is actually one of my favorite, mainly since I get to feature one of my favorite characters in it. I'm definitely going to finish this story, but as for the sequel I haven't decided yet. The story is ready, I mean, I'd just have to copy-paste it to here. That story is called "The Moron's Mask," and it spoofs Majora's Mask. It also features one of my other favorite characters from the series. Anyways, enough of me acting like the Spectral Mask from my old comedies, on with the show.

*Now in Ga-Metru, Lewa decided to just go for the Water Temple and get it over with. Especially since the Fire Temple wasn't anything to chill out about.*

Nuju: Boo.

*Shut up! You're a nerdy weirdo who talks like a bird sometimes.*

Nuju: Aw...

Lewa: Why is it empty around here? And why is there a sudden frost-chill? Brr…

Navi: You got me on that one. Maybe we should try and find King Krulloc and see what he can tell us.

*When the two made it to see the king, they were surprised to see him encased in red ice… which defies all logic, but it doesn't matter because it's VIDEO GAME LOGIC.*

Lewa: So what were you saying about what he can tell us?

Navi: Okay, I was wrong. But there has to be a way to unfreeze this place and him as well.

Lewa: So this place mass-froze within a week?

Navi: I guess, but I never knew Antroz could do all this so quickly. Everything around the Coliseum, I can understand, but not the whole island city.

*Lewa and Navi go behind the king, where they discover Jabu-Jabu is no longer there. Nothing but ice and water… and a cave. Lewa made his way over and discovered an ice cavern full of traps and puzzles. After going through it, he finds some blue fire.*

Lewa: Blue fire and red ice…

Navi: Makes no sense whatsoever.

Lewa: Well, if this doesn't melt that ice, nothing will. *He takes the blue fire in a bottle, and then he gets out a few other bottles to contain the fire if incase he needed it. He goes even further where he discovers a chamber with a treasure inside. Opening the treasure chest, Lewa gets the iron boots. Without warning, Nessk appears out of nowhere.*

Nessk: Where have you been?

Lewa: What do you mean?

Nessk: I've been waiting here for you. Not only that, but you've avoided learning the rest of my seemingly pointless ocarina songs.

Lewa: Uh…

*So for the next 10 minutes, Nessk teaches Lewa the Minuet of Forest, Bolero of Fire, and Serenade of Water all in one span of time. *

Lewa: Is that all? Am I caught up? Because I'm short of breath…

Nessk: Yes, that is all for now. I managed to free Kiina from this ice, and being so stubborn she went to the Water Temple on her own. So it's up to you to go back and get her.

Lewa: Oh… but she makes me feel--

Nessk: I don't care if she gives you nightmares or anything, you are going there and you are going to save her and awaken the sage to break the curse! Got it?!

*After that, Lewa leaves Nessk and travels back to see the king and unfreeze him with the blue fire.*

King Krulloc: What happened?

Lewa: You were frozen today.

Krulloc: Oh… Now I remember, it was Antroz!

Lewa: We kind of figured that.

Krulloc: Where is my daughter Kiina?

Navi: You see--

Lewa: She's lost!

Navi: What??

Lewa: No idea where she is! She's gone.

Krulloc: What?!

Lewa: Yeah. So, you see, you largely Kingship, we don't know where your daughter is…

Krulloc: No! Not my darling Kiina! I can't survive without my darling daughter!

Navi: Should we tell him the truth?

Lewa: I don't think we should…

Navi, whispering: Why did you lie?

Lewa: Trust me. It's for his own good. I have a feeling I know who the next sage is… It's better he gets a white like from me now than the truth later on.

Navi: I don't understand your logic, but all right then.

*Lewa left the king to cry in deep sadness while he went in search of the Water Temple. He eventually found the entrance to the Water Temple (under water) and had no choice but to dive and... wasn't there a song called "Dive in?" If I remembered how it went, I'd probably make a reference to it, but I can't so I probably won't. It's some song from 2006, I'm surprised I remember it. Okay, so Lewa dove in, forgetting he wasn't really equipped for diving. Lucky for him, his adaptive armor (which the Lego group has seemed to neglect lately) allowed him to go in there with little difficulty. A combination of the iron boots and his adaptive armor allowed him to sink and swim in the water with ease.*

*Soon enough, Lewa made it inside. His heart sank... there were so many water mechanics in here, it would make even the smartest of nerds lose their minds. Luckily when I did it, I already lost my sanity, so I was okay. Lewa journeyed through the temple, and then he was met with a... pleasant surprise.*

Lewa: O_O

Kiina: Took you long enough to find me...

Lewa: O_o

Kiina: You didn't think I'd forget about the promise you made to me, did you?

Lewa: Actually, I sort of did.

*Lewa had a hard time forgetting about how flirtiacious Kiina was with him.*

Kiina: So, my future husband, as much as I love these romantic moments, I've got to cut it short, considering there's some monster in this temple going crazy and causing a lot of havoc. I'm going to go see what I can do. You can follow along, if you'd like.

Lewa: Well, I guess I'll have to.

Navi: I didn't think it was possible, but she might be even more of a dimwit that you are.

*Kiina jumped into the water and began to swim as quickly as she could. Lewa did the same, but he lost track of her after a few moments.*

Lewa: Where did she go? She just slip-past out of my sight.

Navi: I don't know. Looks like we'll have to go through this place on our own.

Lewa: I got a bad feeling, letting her go off on her own…

*Thanks to the MC Hammer, he didn't need any keys to get through the locks. However, he made it to one room that made him feel sort of nervous. It was a white, empty room filled with water. There was a lone tree in the middle of the room as well, and a lone gate right behind it. There was also a window there, which was odd, but no matter. Lewa began to slowly walk towards the gate on the opposite end.*

Sinister voice: Finally, it took you long enough to get here!

*Lewa stopped, startled.*

Lewa: Who said that?

Navi: I heard it, too…

*Neither could see from where the voice was coming from, so Lewa just kept going on.*

Sinister voice: Oh, I know you didn't just ignore me!

*Lewa made it to the gate on the opposite end, but there was nothing there. The door was locked, too.*

Sinister voice: You just ignored me! The second you walk back over to this tree, I'm going to beat you so bad!

Lewa: Okay, I'll bite…

*Lewa decided to bite and he went back to the tree and he got the surprise of his life... who was the owner of the sinister voice?*

Dark Lewa: Well, exc-uuuuuuuuse me, princess!

Lewa: O_O Who are you?

Dark Lewa: Don't be stupid! I'm you!

Lewa: If you are me, then who are you?

Dark Lewa: You're so stupid! I'm you!

Lewa: I'm me.

Dark Lewa: You are you also!

[awkward pause]

Lewa: Who are you?

Dark Lewa: Argh! You're so stupid!

*It was the ultimate horror... a dark, evil, and moronic version of himself! Well, at least he wasn't as bad as Dark Navi, who looked more like a pink knock-off of Tinkerbell.*

Dark Navi: I, like, have to go to the bathroom really badly!

Navi: You're a disgrace!

Lewa: Who are you?

Dark Lewa: I'm you and you are you. I am born from your hatred and I have one purpose in life… to DESTROY YOU!

Lewa: Then you must have a dull-boring existence then.

Dark Lewa: I'm so hungry, I could eat your face! *He takes out his sword and starts attacking Lewa, who counters his every move while trying to get in a few hits of his own.*

Navi: Take him down!

Dark Navi: Does my makeup look okay?

Navi: What are you, some teen bopper? Go listen to some of that trash music you like so much.

Dark Navi: :"( I... will! *She flies away crying all the way home... wherever that is.*

Dark Lewa: Oh, now you're going to get it! When I'm done here, you're next, you little lightning bug! Get over here so I can use you for my lantern!

Navi: Oh, yeah? Lewa, kill this guy and don't hold back!

Lewa: You got it.

*Lewa nodded and he took out the MC Hammer.*

Dark Lewa: Hey, there's no way I'm going to let you cheat out of this one!

*Lewa hit him so hard, he fell over the window... but he was still hanging on by his feet.*

Dark Lewa: Well, exc-uuuuuuuse me, princess!

*Lewa ran over and tried to latch his feet off the window sill.*

Dark Lewa: Hey, I'm ticklish!

Lewa: This guy is so bizarre!

Navi: Hurry, before he gets back up! Hit him again!

*Lewa tries to hit him again, but Dark Lewa manages to get back up again.*

Dark Lewa: Did you miss me?

Lewa: No, not really.

Dark Lewa: You're doomed now!

Lewa: Enough. You have lost.

Dark Lewa: What?!

Lewa: You have lost. You are cruel-mean and annoying. You were born out of my hatred.

Dark Lewa: Whoaw!

Lewa: You do not exist.

Dark Lewa: Fool! I am real! *Holds out his sword* Real STEEL!

*Dark Lewa runs at Lewa, full speed and with his sword out. However, with quick reflexes, Lewa uses the MC Hammer to hit Dark Lewa out the window once more, sailing into the waterfall.*

Dark Lewa, shouting: EXCUUUUUUUSE ME, PRINCESS!

Lewa: At least he died as he lived… being a tough guy and saying "Excuse me, princess."

*The room then shifted and the gate opened. And oddly enough, the window Dark Lewa fell out of went away as well.*

Dark Lewa: NOOOOO! I was so close!

Navi: Wait, how is he still alive?!

Dark Lewa: I am?! Where am I now?

Lewa: Does anything stop him?!

Navi: I don't know and I don't care!

Lewa: My guess is he's stuck-trapped in the room somehow… he fell out the window and now the window is gone, thereby trapping him inside of the room for the rest of forever.

Dark Lewa: It sure is BORING around here. This is all your fault!

Navi: You can't just go blaming your problems on everyone else.

Lewa: Besides, you were the one mad-dashing at me threatening to destroy me.

Dark Lewa: I'll kill you all!

Navi: Yeah, I'd like to see you and your pink girlfriend try. You're stuck in the floor or something and she's crying and listening to her teen bop music!

Dark Lewa: Then I'll get my revenge on you all somehow! You'll see! You have no idea what I can do… or what I've already done!

Lewa, laughs: I'd like to see you try.

Navi: Good luck, Floor Boy!

*Lewa ignored him, passed through the gate, and obtaining an upgraded version of the hookshot, this time with a longer range. Lewa eventually made it to the boss chamber... He didn't see what was behind him, but there was something inside… which was lurking deep in the ocean, getting closer and closer until...*

Navi: Holy Mata Nui, what is that?!

*Lewa turned around and came face to face with that thing from that James Cameron movie.... what was it?*

Navi: It's that thing from "The Abyss!"

*Yeah, there you go. That thing. Actually, this was Morpha.*

Lewa: How do I beat this thing?

*Lewa starts to hookshot it like crazy, to no avail.*

Navi: It's just a moving puddle of water! How is this thing being so tough?

Lewa: Water… I'll be right back.

*Lewa goes over to the side and he finds a lever marked "drain pool." Lewa pulls it down and in a matter of seconds, all of the water starts to drain, with Morpha inside. He was no match for the pool-draining mechanism.*

Navi: You did it!

Lewa: Well, you said it was just water. I thought there had to be a way to drain it. There's ladders in there and everything.

*Lewa took the magic exit and made it into the chamber of sages. He looked for the Water Sage. He was met with Kiina.*

Kiina: Hey, Lewa... can you believe I'm the Sage of Water?

Lewa: Actually, I had my suspicions.

Kiina: I guess... this means we'll have to put our marriage off.

Lewa: Please, stop mentioning that.

Kiina: I really wanted to be with you, Lewa. At least we got to have one final date before you said you had to go and "DESTROY" some dorky version of yourself.

Lewa: Wait… I never did that.

Kiina: Well, then it must have been someone who looked a lot like you.

*Lewa looked confused. What was she talking about? Then his thoughts were interrupted by a familiar evil laugh.*

Dark Lewa: Ha ha ha! I told you I'd get my revenge!

Lewa: What?! So then… when I lost you… and then… he… and you…

Dark Lewa: See you in Karzahni, losers!

*Lewa goes awkwardly silent for the rest of the time they were there… somewhat confused and even shocked.*

Navi: Oh... I guess I'll have to eat my words now. Just let us have the over-sized novelty coin now.

Kiina: I just LOVE it when he doesn't talk to me! It's so... . *She raises her hands and from the sky comes a blue over-sized novelty coin with the Water Temple symbol on it. As Lewa got it, he couldn't help but wonder where he was keeping all of these...*

[ShadowBionics]

*Lewa was somewhere in Ta-Metru waiting patiently for something in the mail. He was going to go check the mail, somewhat excited.*

Lewa: I hope it comes in today.

Navi: What does?

Lewa: The Lens of Truth. Remember? The thing I went back in time for?

*Earlier on, after Lewa went back in time to a week ago…*

Lewa: All right! Just 20 more box tops and I can mail-send for that Lens of Truth!

Navi: Should I even ask?

Guru-Guru: Get out of my windmill!

Lewa: Wait until I finish my cereal!

Navi: Maybe we should do as he says.

Lewa: Or… I can play a fun-prank on him.

*Lewa takes out his ocarina and plays the Song of Storms, making the windmill going insane*

Lewa: So long, weirdo.

Guru-Guru: I won't forget this! I'll get you someday! What's your name?!

Lewa: I'm Nobudy.

Guru-Guru: We'll meet again, Nobudy!

*Back in the future…*

*Lewa goes to his mailbox in Le-Metru and sure enough, there's a package for him and it so happens to be the Lens of Truth.*

Lewa: All right! I got it! Now I can get through the next dungeon.

Navi: Wait, is that why you needed it?

Lewa: Yeah, don't you remember? I tried to enter the dungeon on my own, but it said I needed some "eye of truth." I saw this ad and decided to mail-send for this Lens of Truth.

Navi: Well, I'll be darned. Here I thought you were just eating cereal to be lazy.

*After he got the Lens of Truth from a cereal box offer in the mail, Lewa was walking through the outskirts of Ta-Metru, which was like an industrial wasterland-- er I mean wonderland. A burning wonderland…*

*5 minutes earlier…*

Antroz: I'll pay you to burn this place to the ground to make everyone see how I felt when I was burned…

Tahu: You've got it, yelling guy!

*Right now…*

*As Lewa was walking, he noticed a homeless person shivering... which is weird since Ta-Metru is the village of fire, so why would he be could? Lewa took pity on him and began to walk closer to him.*

Lewa: Look, Navi, it's a weird-freak.

Remote: Who... are you?

Navi: That's not important.

Remote: Oh... okay. So cold...

Navi: But this is a fire village. How can you be cold?

Lewa: What are you doing out here anyway?

Remote: Don't look at me, I'm just a puppet. If only I could get moving... But I'm so stiff...

*Lewa got an idea. He took out the ocarina he found the other day and began to play a song. Which song?*

In-game text: You played "Everytime We Touch." Warp to Natalie Horler's side?
---> Yes
No
Why are you even asking, just DO IT!

*Remote enjoyed the song and he felt better afterwards. The demented puppet thanked the hero and went off on his way. Later on, he would run into a certain mask salesman in desperate need of being institutionalized and steal a powerful mask from him, but that's another story for another day.*

*Lewa made it to Ta-Metru, seeing it erupt in flames... how ironic. I wonder why...*

Tahu: Burn stuff!! *Uses fire power to burn things.*

Kopaka: Why are you doing this?!

Tahu: Because some strange burn victim told me to burn this place to the ground!

Various villagers: We're on fire!

Antroz, laughing: Ah, my sweet revenge! Now you will all pay for what happened to me!

*Flashback…*

*Antroz and Nexus are still running through the burning forest.*

Antroz: Stop showing this flashback! I'm on fire, somebody help me! I'm literally on fire and I need help now! Someone, please help me!!

*End flashback*

Kopaka: Okay, now you're weirding me out. At least I only have to deal with you and not you and Lewa now... I wonder what happened to him anyway?

*Okay, that explains it. Well, unfortunately for Kopaka, Lewa wasn't even paying any attention to them, and he probably could have helped out with the fire. Kopaka couldn't really stop Tahu, nor could he contain the blaze. He was only able to save a part of Ta-Metru…*

*Lewa made his way over to a well, and he saw Nessk looming over it.*

Nessk: Get back, Lewa.

Lewa: Why? What is it?

*At the moment he said that, the smoke monster from LOST came out and started to attack him, throwing him right to the ground.*

*Lewa woke up about half and hour later. Nothing was on fire anymore, and Tahu wasn't anywhere in sight.*

Lewa: Ugh… what happened?

Nessk: You were attacked by an ancient evil imprisoned in the well.

Lewa: Oh… okay. I had this strange dream. Everything was like this awful-bad animated cartoon. There was this king and he kept saying things like "my boi" and "dinner." I was there, except I was cheer-happy all the time and everyone hated me because I said dumb-happy dialogue. Lariska was there too except she was ancient and looked like a gypsy.

Nessk: Yeah, like that would ever happen. Anyway, speaking of Lariska, she went off to try and seal this evil again.

Lewa: Again?

Nessk: Yes. She imprisoned it in the well a long time ago. She's also the sage you are looking for.

Lewa: Well, thanks for saving me the trouble of asking.

Nessk: Now let me teach you the Nocturne of Shadow to take you to the Shadow Temple.

Lewa: But I already know where it is.

Nessk: Quiet, I'm helping you!

*So Lewa learns another ocarina song and after that, Nessk disappears like a ninja, meaning Lewa had nothing else to do but go to the Shadow Temple. Or did he?*

Guru-Guru: Someday I'll get the ocarina guy, and when I do, I'm gonna rough him up!

Lewa: Good luck with that. So who did this?

Guru-Guru: Nobudy did it.

Lewa: If nobody did it, why are you so mad?

Guru-Guru: Grr! That's not what I meant!

Lewa, laughing: Later, pal!

Guru-Guru: Where are you, Nobudy?!

Navi: I can't believe a week into the future and he doesn't recognize you.

Lewa: Yeah. On the plus side, I got to use that joke I've been keep-saving for a long time.

*There was nothing to do now but go to the Death Temple, awaken the sage, and get the oversized novelty coin. So he went through the Great Furnace and found the entrance inside the home of some poor guy.*

Vakama: It's all my fault the entrance to the Death Temple was in my house.

Lewa: Be quiet, I'm trying to save the world here.

*So Lewa made his way through the temple, fighting off a bunch of dead guys with swords and other skelly things along the way. Then he made it into a room with a bunch of dead hands sticking out. Then out came this pale, zombie version of Barney... oh, no!*

Zombie Barney: Give me a hug!!

Lewa: Get away from me, you freak of nature!

*The hands tried to wrap themselves around Lewa, doing things to hurt Lewa as Zombie Barney tried to hug him to death, and I mean TO DEATH.*

Zombie Barney: Hand-drive attack!

*Lewa fought his way through the hands and he slashed at that creepy dead thing until he fell. The zombie went away, as did his hands, and then Lewa was awarded with the bunny slippers that let you hover in the air for a little bit. So he made his way out of the room and then progressed through the temple. The pair eventually found themselves on a boat.*

Navi: So how do we get this thing to move?

Lewa: Hmm… we're on a boat… so that means…


*He took out the ocarina and played a song.*

In-game text: You played "I'm on a Boat!" What do you want to do?
---> Set sail!
Set sail
I'm on a BOAT!

Navi: Oh... no...

*No sooner does the song start does the boat start to move.*

Music: I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat). I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat). Everybody look at me 'cause I'm sailing on a boat (sailing on a boat). I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat). I'm on a boat.

Navi: Hurry, the boat's starting to sink!

Lewa: Whoa, you're right!

*The boat begins so sink, so Lewa and Navi jump off and abandon ship.*

Navi: We don't speak of this again, okay?

Lewa: If that's what you want.

*They eventually found themselves in the boss chamber, or rather, the "practice room..."*

Navi: Hey, Ringo, could you help us?

Bongo Bongo: Foolish mortals... I am the great drummer Bongo Bongo and you're in my practice room! Get out now!

Lewa: Practice room? This is just a dark void with nothing but this drum you're hitting.

Bongo Bongo: Typical... it's always about the lead singer or the bass player, never the drummer. You'll definitely remember me... after I kill you!

Navi: That doesn't make sense.

Lewa: Yeah, what are you talking about?

Bongo Bongo: Shut up! I'm going to kill you! This is my practice room, meant for me and me alone!

Navi: Really?

Bongo Bongo: Cross my heart and hope to die, boil in oil until I fry, stick a needle in my eye. *At that moment, Bongo Bongo turned invisible but he continued drumming.*

Lewa: A needle, eh?

*Lewa took this as a clue. He used his Lens of Truth and decided to take Bongo Bongo's advice and stuck a needle... or an ARROW in his eye, thus defeating him and turning him back into the smoke monster from earlier. That's right. Bongo Bongo was also the smoke monster from LOST this whole time... maybe.*

Lewa: Eh, that wasn't too bad.

Hundreds of OOT players: >:[

*Lewa went through the magic exit and made it to the chamber of the sages. He was sort of excited to see who the sage was for the temple. It could be like some wizard, or a knight, or Arnold Swartzenegger... Lewa got a surprise when he saw... THE FREAK OF THE MOUNTAINS!!! Run for your lives!*

Lewa, blank: Hey, I was totally not expecting you to be the sage.

Lariska: Your eyes tell me you are worried about Nokama.

Lewa: Actually, I haven't thought about her. Where is she?

Lariska: Despite what happened, I can tell you she is safe.

Lewa: But you're not going to tell me where she is?

Lariska: Nope.

Lewa: Figures.

*Lariska seen she had done enough damage to him, so she raised her arms and gave him the over-sized novelty coin with the Shadow Temple/Death Temple symbol on it.*

*FF victory fanfare*

*Lewa gained 500 exp. points!
obtained the Shadow/Death Novelty Coin
obtained the bunny slippers
obtained worthless plot device*

Edited by ShadowBionics, Jul 23 2012 - 12:22 AM.

[ShadowBionics]

*There was only one sage left until Lewa would apparently be able to go off against Antroz. So Lewa flew his way to the desert, but it was almost pointless seeing as he had no idea where it was this temple was. He flew back over to the site of a broken bridge where there was a tent nearby. He hoped perhaps there was someone who could help. And there was.*

Lewa: Hey, you, bald guy. Can you--?

Mutoh: KAAAAW!

Lewa: Did you just Kaw at us?

Mutoh, accent: Oh, my deepest apologies.

Navi: What's going on? What's with the crazy accents?

Natalie: Is there a problem?

Von Nebula: We people with exotic accents are of a higher class and society than the rest of you urchins.

Navi: Hey, Von Nebula.

Von Nebula: What?

Navi: Nobody likes you! Get out!

Von Nebula: Nobody likes me.

Natalie: Well...

Navi: You're fine… I guess.

Natalie: Oh, thank you.

Von Nebula: Why does she get special treatment?

Lewa: Because nobody likes you.

Navi: Moving on...

Mutoh: I've been under a large amount of stress lately that I don't even know what I'm saying or doing these days.

Navi: And what are you so stressful about?

Mutoh: Oh, well, it's a sad story. You see, the members of my Village People tribute band got kidnapped. If only there was a hero around...

Stormer: Did someone call for a hero?

Navi: Not you, that's for sure.

Breez: I hate this!

Natalie: Not as much as I hate you... *she takes out a small dagger.*

Breez: *gulp.* I hate our designers...

Navi: Okay, bird man, why don't you just let us help you? He's a hero. Oh... but the Spirit Temple...

Mutoh: KAAAAW! Oh... that's okay, I understand. Only they weren't taken by those ruthless, evil women.

Lewa: Evil women?

Mutoh: I tell you, I could barely believe my eyes the first time I saw the sight... An army of female Vortixx working for the Brotherhood of Makuta... They were dressed in a bizarre manner, running down the hills screaming and flailing their weapons...

*Out of boredom, Lewa sort of zoned out and kind of blocked out what Mutoh was saying.*

Mutoh: ... Then they took a spiked club--

*Lewa flew off to go and find this so-called village of women, which was actually a former headquarters used for the Brotherhood leader who preceded Antroz. Fortunately he found this village. Unfortunately the Vortixx found him. Sadly Lewa zoned out while Mutoh was talking about how barbaric these women were, especially towards men. They had access to ultimate weapons of mass destruction. They pretty much shot him down like a duck and they tied him up like one too. Then they tossed him into a jail cell.*

Navi: Well, that was stupid of you. What better way than to say, "Hey, here I am so lock me up?"

Lewa: How was I supposed to know they assembled their own weapons and lock-kept them in an older hideout?

Navi: I'm not even going to say it. If you didn't have such a short attention span…

Lewa: Oh, look, a bug.

Navi: Why do I bother?

*Luckily, the Vortixx where too absent-minded to take away his stuff, so he was able to cut the ropes and make his way out of the cell, thanks to his hookshot. Now came the fun part of avoiding detection. Lewa had to be inconspicuous and go through without being captured. So he did a lot of stealth and scoured the fortress until he came to a rather large cell. He notcied some strangely dressed people, including a cop, some cheif, and a bridge builder.*

Navi: So are you the guys from that Village People tribute band?

Cheif, singing: Young man. There's no need to feel down. I said, young man. Get yourself off the ground. I said, young man.

Both:

Lewa: I guess that answers the question. We're here to get you out. I'm Lewa, and this is Navi.

Tribute band: In the Navi.

Chief: You get to sail the seven seas.

Tribute band: In the Navi.

Navi, annoyed: No... just... NO!

Female Vortixx 1: What have I told you about singing? *sees Lewa* You! You've gone far enough. *She took out two Arabic-style blades and began to go at Lewa.*

Navi: Don't just stand there, you moron, fight!

*Lewa got out his sword and Iruini's shield, blocking her swipes while trying to counter with his own. Whoever she was, she was much faster than he was, something Lewa sort of under estimated. So he made more use of the shield and the moment she was open, he went at her, defeating her.*

Lewa: All right, now to free the weirdo wagon.

*Lewa took her keys and then he released those singing band of weirdos and they all ran out like a bunch of goofballs (or like Megatron to be exact) all the way back to their tent singing "YMCA" as if all was okay in the world.*

Female Vortixx 2, laughs: I've seen your fine work here, getting past the guards and all. You must have good theivery skills. I used to think all men besides Antroz and most of those other Makuta in that Brotherhood were useless, but now looking at you I don't think so anymore.

Lewa: Uh… thanks?

Female Vortixx 2: Our leader Roodaka put me in charge of this fortress while she was out at the Spirit Temple doing some random errands. She's second-in-command behind Antroz of the Vortixx Theieves and the Spirit Temple is her headquarters at the other end of the desert. So, you must really wanna be one of us, huh?

Lewa: Um… Yeah, of course, I do.

Female Vortixx 2: Okay, you're in now. Take this membership card, fill out your name, and we'll put your name on our list, 'kay?

*So she gives him a membership card and Lewa scrawls him name on it and then scrawls his name on the list of members. Lewa nodded and exited the prison cells. From there, he approached the gate to the desert, which looked more like a Boulevard of Broken Dreams... okay, sorry, but this was just asking for a Green Day reference.*

Female Vortixx 3: Oh, so you want to go to the Spirit Temple? 'Kay, works for me. *At the snap of her fingers, the gate to the desert is lowered and Lewa was now heading in the right direction. With that, he gave a farewell salute and he went off into the desert.*

[Lewa0111 Nuva]

These last three or so chapters were pretty good! I liked the mention of Adaptive Armor in the Water Temple chapter, as well as Dark Lewa. Was that a reference to that old Zelda cartoon show? If so, it was kinda out of nowhere which made it even funnier! The "Death Temple" interlude with Tahu was hilarious, too, especially Antroz's flashback. However, my favorite part was having the carpenters from the desert be a "Village People" tribute band, which was just sort of random until you added the "In the Navi" pun. Was that whole chapter just building up to that? If so, it was genius. Can't wait for the Spirit (or whatever you decide to call it) temple!

Lewa0111 Nuva

[ShadowBionics]

These last three or so chapters were pretty good! I liked the mention of Adaptive Armor in the Water Temple chapter, as well as Dark Lewa. Was that a reference to that old Zelda cartoon show? If so, it was kinda out of nowhere which made it even funnier! The "Death Temple" interlude with Tahu was hilarious, too, especially Antroz's flashback. However, my favorite part was having the carpenters from the desert be a "Village People" tribute band, which was just sort of random until you added the "In the Navi" pun. Was that whole chapter just building up to that? If so, it was genius. Can't wait for the Spirit (or whatever you decide to call it) temple!

Lewa0111 Nuva

Yeah, I've found it weird how there's not been much mention of it after 2008, especially in Lewa's case. And yeah, lots of Dark Lewa's dialogue was based off the 80's cartoon show.

The Tahu part was one of my favorite parts, and later on after this story, you'll see it will come back to haunt him. Antroz's flashback is starting to become a meme in the series, as well.

Yeah, the chapter was building up to that. My friends had this joke that "Ivan" was "navy/navi" spelled backwards, so that sort of served as inspiration, especially when they used to make fun of that song. So it was kind of an elaborate way to build up to that. And yeah, it's going to be called the Spirit Temple, as seen right here.



*After crossing the desert through this Neverending Dream (if you get the reference, I will forever be in your debt and gratitude) from the boulevard of broken dreams, he made it to the Desert Colossus smack dab in the middle of the Desert. And luckily it wasn't buried underground or anything like those ruins in the first Paper Mario, and from Green Day to Cascada to Paper Mario, I just can't stop can I?*

*Lewa walked in. On one end, there was a giant stone that looked too heavy to move. On the other side was a small entrance blocked off by a steel metal plate.

Lewa: How am I supposed to get past that?

Navi: What do you mean?

Lewa: I don't think I could fit-squeeze through that. And that block is too heavy-large to move.

Navi: Well, let's head outside and rethink our plans…

*Lewa and Navi head outside, not knowing they were being watched. As the two pass outside, they are greeted by a familiar face jumping off from the roof.*

Navi: It's raining ninjas!

Lewa: I believe the plural is "ninja."

Navi: Whatever.

Nessk: I take it you couldn't get inside.

Lewa: Yeah, both entrances are blocked off by something.

Nessk: Here's an idea for you: How about you go back in time before Antroz fortified this place? The rock will still be there, but the metal plate won't be.

Lewa: You know, I should do that!

Nessk: Before you do, let me teach you one last song to help you get back here quickly.

*Nessk plays the Requiem of Spirit on the harp and Lewa plays it on the ocarina. With that, Nessk steps into the approaching storm of dust and after it clears, Nessk is gone.*

Lewa: Never underestimate the power of the ninja, Navi.

*One time travel to the past later…*

*Lewa, now a week in the past, returns to the Spirit Temple to see the large stone was still there, but the other entrance was now blocked off by a Vortixx in black armor.*

Roodaka: Well, well, well, I haven't seen you around here... Just what do you want?

Vakama: To join you...

*I thought I told you to go away, Vakama!*

Lewa: Uh… I was bored.

Roodaka: Hmm... You've got some moxie, and that's a rare quality. None of those mindless drones back at the fortress have any guts and they just do whatever without thinking twice.

Navi: Um... okay.

Lewa: Oh, so that's how I must have tricked them so easily.

Roodaka: Well, then, Slim, why don't you do me a favor since you don't have anything to do? Oh, but wait, can I ask you something? You're not a follower of Antroz by chance, are you...?

Lewa: No, I hate that guy!

Roodaka: Hmm... I was just asking. At least you're not a greedy liar like he is. He's been acting like some goody two shoes ever since he started this whole thing. I was just in it for the music... but him... Oh, no, he messed up big time! Well, let's cut to the chase. I'm Roodaka, and I'm a lone wolf sort of girl, always doing my own thing. I'm a bad girl... but don't get me wrong, I'm nothing like that maniac Antroz! I just manipulate people. He on the other hand manipulates people and then kills. I'll never bow down to such a sad, strange little man.

Navi: But he's your leader...

Lewa: Or so the others back at the fortress say.

Roodaka: That doesn't mean I follow him like the rest of those smelt heads. They just follow him because he's our leader. Me, at least I've got the guts to rebel against him. So, what's your name?

Lewa: I'm Lewa.

Roodaka: Ah, whatever, I want to ask you a favor... See this wall? I can't get to the other side. Plus, I just don't want to. There's a treasure on the other side and I want you to go get it for me. The treasure is these Silver Gauntlets that let you move heavy rocks, like that one over there.

*Lewa looked behind him at the giant stone at opposite end. It made him think about how perhaps he could use these silver gauntlets to move it.*

Roodaka: Now don't you be thinking about keeping them for yourself now.

Lewa: Oh… sure. I won't…

Roodaka: Good boy. See, Antroz and his minions are using this place as a hideout. Well, that other side to be exact, I'm not allowed there. Those Silver Gauntlets can let me sneak over there without being seen or anything! So you'll do it?

Lewa: Yeah, sure, I got nothing else to do.

Roodaka: Great. Now we just have to find a way to the other side. First, we'll need--

*Lewa took his Midak Skyblaster and blew a hole in the wall, big enough for him to get through.*

Lewa: That's what I call renovation.

Roodaka: Okay, your way works too. Thinking outside the box... I like it. Of course, now they're going to have to replace the hole with a steel metal plate, but whatever. Now you go on in there and I'll just stand out here and avoid getting hurt. If you do it and do it right, I'll give you a little something.

*So Roodaka and her Arabian-looking self steps out of the way and Lewa enters through the hole in the wall he made. He treks his way through the rooms, fighting off a bunch of vampire bats that were oddly set on fire and soon enough, makes it into the boss chamber.*

Navi: Okay, so what now?

Lewa: I don't know. It's empty. Nothing but pillars and the freaky-scary armor.

*Lewa took a whack at the armor, and all of a sudden it roars to life.*

Shredder: GRAAAAH!

*Lewa's eyes widdened. The boss was none other than the Shredder himself!*

Shredder: Tonight I dine on turtle soup...

*Other than how obviously confused he was, Shredder looked pretty dangerous, especially while waving that giant axe of his around... wait... oh, nevermind how he got the axe, just enjoy the spoof!*

Lewa: He must think I'm a Ninja Turtle because I'm wearing green!

Navi: Well, don't let that bother you. How are we going to stop him?

*Lewa was beside himself... and I don't mean in a "Dark Lewa" sort of way. Through some buried memories, he sort of knew a way of a possible way to defeat the Shredder, but would it work? Only one way to find out.*

Lewa: Turtle Power!! *Lewa did a jump slash at Shredder, defeating him.*

Shredder: Noooooo!!!

April: I just hope I haven't missed out on the action!

Navi: O_O How did you…?

Lewa: Simple. The turtles defeated him, loud-shouted "turtle power!" and then Shredder goes "Nooo!" and then April gets there late.

Navi: Well… nothing makes sense anyway.

*Lewa then proceeded past the chair where Shredder was resting and out to get the treasure, which was resting out on a ledge outside the temple. He opened the chest and it was indeed the Silver Gauntlets.*

Kaepora Gaebora: Hoot hoot. Hey. Lewa. Look over here.

Navi: Oh, no…

Lewa: not him!

Kaepora Gaebora: Surprised to see me?

Lewa: Yes…

Kaepora Gaebora: I always thought stories of a moron who could travel through time were but mere legends, and yet here you are standing before me. I'm pleasantly surprised. You know, this reminds me of a story…

Lewa: No! Last line, freak!

Kaepora Gaebora, annoyed: And so she found out the goat belonged to her brother.

Lewa: I don't get it.

Kaepora Gaebora: But what I also wanted to tell you is there's these two evil witches lurking in this place and to defeat them, you must turn their own powers against them. You know this reminds me of another story where--

Lewa: Last line!

Kaepora Gaebora, annoyed: So, it turned out she paid him with a goat instead of a chicken. Now, then, this is my final advice. Turn the powers of the witches against each other. Farewell, Lewa, and made the power of the goddesses be with you…

*Kaepora Gaebora flies away, never to be seen again. Lewa gave a silent cheer deep down. This short victory didn't last long as he heard a woman scream from down below. Lewa put the gauntlets away and he looked down while keeping himself hidden.*

Roodaka: Hey, where are you taking me?!

*Roodaka fired some shots from her catcher claw and then made a run for the outside of the temple. But it was no use as she ended up being ensnared by shadow power coming from the ground like a votrex.*

*Lewa watched in horror, especially since he felt there was nothing he could do. He was especially horrified at the two evil witches on their broomsticks that circled her like two hungry vultures.*

Roodaka: Lewa, wherever you are, get out! These wtiches are using the shadows on me!! *But it was too late for her, as she was swallowed by the vortex. The witches laughed in triumph.*

Lewa, quietly: Yeah, sure, give me away.

Koume: That'll teach those silly kids to stay off our lawn!

Kotake: Yeah, this was a great idea!

*Lewa was once again besides himself... he looked at the gauntlets, which he promised to Roodaka... but Roodaka was obviously indisposed right now. The only thing he thought he could do was use these things, get to the other half of the temple, and beat those witches and maybe save Roodaka.*

[ShadowBionics]

*Sometime after Roodaka was captured, Lewa traveled to the future once more and made his way back into the temple. So far, there was no sign of the evil witches. He went up the stairs back to the two entrances for earlier before. Sure enough, the steel plate was still at the other entrance.*

Lewa: Well, let's see if these silver gauntlets were worth all the work.

*He went to the other one with the stone slab in the way. He rubbed his hands together and he began to push with all his might, and the stone slab began to move very easily, as if it weighed like styrofoam.*

Navi: Okay, that was easy. Now let's get through this temple and defeat those witches so we can get out of here.

*Lewa nodded as he fought his way through the monsters and the vampire bats that were on fire. In a matter of moments, he obtained the mirror shield. He wasn't too sure what to do with Iruini's shield, so he just put it away for safe keeping.*

Navi: Maybe you can go ahead and return it to Iruini when you're done.

Lewa: Yeah… unless I can't find him or if I forget.

*After that, he continued his way to the boss chamber, which was taking him a while to get to. But in due time, he finally got there and stepped through the door, and so far it looked very identical to the one he was in earlier. That is, except for the two witches who stood huddled around a suit of armor.*

Kotake: Looks like someone is here, Koume. It's some hoodlum, breaking into our house.

Koume: Looks like it, Kotake. He must be here to rob us.

Kotake: Look, he's got a knife!

Lewa: What? It's a sword!

Koume: What an outrageous fellow, thinking he can break in with a knife and a mirror.

Kotake: We should teach this outrageous fellow a lesson! I bet he's in one of those gangs that break into people's houses, beat them up, and rob them!

Lewa: No, I'm not! And this is a sword!

Koume: Quick, Shredder, throw this hooligan out of here!

*The witches disappear and then Shredder got up from his chair, ready to attack Lewa with... nothing. He didn't have an axe with him. He snapped his fingers and made one appear out of nowhere. He then shook his axe and rattled his armor... something just wasn't right with him, but I can't place it.*

Navi: Okay, just defeat him again so we can get this over with.

Lewa: Don't have to tell me twice. Turtle power! *He did another jump slash at Shredder, like before, and Shredder was defeat, like before. However, this time was different because the armor fell and it was revealed that it was Roodaka underneath that armor.*

Roodaka: Where am I? *She looks around and sees Lewa.*

Lewa: Roodaka was Shredder?!

Roodaka: I can't believe I got saved by a guy who looks like he should be in the airforce...

Kotake: Well, well, looks like she's back to normal, Koume.

Koume: She's just a girl, but she commands a lot of respect among the Vortixx, Kotake.

Kotake: Yes, she is just a girl... let's brainwash her again!

Lewa: Aw, don't do that!

Kotake: Quick, let's use our teleportation guns!

Koume: Let's kick these hooligans out of here!

*So the two witches use their guns and they hit Roodaka, who screams as she is teleported away.*

Kotake: We hit the wrong one.

Koume: Darn it. Let's get out of here! *The two witches go away, leaving Lewa and Navi alone.*

Lewa: Always got to make things difficult.

*Lewa then worked his way to the door behind where "Shredder" was sitting and went through, which turned out to be some sort of weird arena-looking chamber.*

Kotake: Look, it's that hooligan again! Maybe he's a madman or he's come to offer himself to Antroz!

*That's when they finally show themselves.*

Koume: With my flame, I shall burn him to the bone!

Kotake: With my frost, I shall freeze him to the soul!

Navi: What're we going to do?

*The witches began firing at Lewa with their respective powers from their brooms. Lewa, remembering what Kaepora Gaebora told him, decided to use the mirror shield to reflect their attacks back at each other.*

Koume: I saw my own reflection in there!

Kotake: He's more powerful than I imagined.

Both: Kotake and Koume's Double Dynamite Attack!

*Both witches join together and they become Twinrova.*

Twinrova, laughs: *winks at Lewa.*

Lewa: 0_0 I'm fear-scared.

Twinrova: Now that we have combined, our beauty and power level has doubled!

Navi: Wait, then wouldn't your age have doubled, too?

Twinrova: OH... she's right!

*And then at that moment, Twinrova dies and goes away... that was easy.*

Koume: We can't die, not now!

Kotake: We'll return to haunt you!

Lewa: I'd like to see that. Good luck there.

*Lewa goes through the magic exit. They were then taken to the chamber of sages, where Lewa came face to face with Roodaka.*

Roodaka: My, oh, my, I didn't think such a skinny guy like you could actually pull this off. If I had seen what kind of a guy you were, perhaps I would have kept my promise... oh well. Here, take the oversized novelty coin and go on your way. Crush that Antroz and give him one for me!

*She raises her arms and the final overzied novelty coin falls from the sky and Lewa takes it. It was bronze and had the Spirit Temple symbol on it, in case you were wondering.*

Lewa: Well, looks like now we've got everybody. Now what.

Rauru: Lewa, can you hear me?

Lewa: Of course, I'm right in front of you.

Rauru: The time has arrived for you to face Antroz. First, though, go back to the Temple of Time.

Lewa: Well, all right, if that's what you say…


*Following what Rauru told him, Lewa went back to the Temple of Time. But there wasn't anyone waiting for him… or was it really so?*

Lewa: There's no one here.

*Lewa turns around to see Nessk waiting for him.*

Lewa: I know you're a ninja, but can't you just greet me like anyone else?

Nessk: No. So, you've managed to awaken all of the sages and you're ready to face Antroz.

Lewa: Yeah, that's what I thought.

Nessk: I'm sure you probably know everything on the Triforce, don't you?

Lewa: I thought I did, but I have a feeling you're going to speak-teach more about it.

Nessk: Yeah, you figured that right. When Antroz broke into the Sacred Realm and stole the Triforce, he ran and tripped over a bottle and broke it into three pieces. Had he not been spiritually imbalanced, he wouldn't have lost the other two. When that happens, the piece that most represents the individual will stay with them while the other two go and find new hosts they best represent. Since Antroz wanted power, he got the Triforce of Power. The three will be bound by destiny and have the Triforce pieces on the backs of their hand.*

Lewa: I got that much. What does that have to do with me, exactly?

Nessk: The one who got the Triforce of Courage is you, Lewa.

Lewa: I sort of already knew that.

Nessk: And the one who got the Triforce of Wisdom is none other than the seventh sage, and the one destined to lead them all.

Lewa, whining: I don't want to go through another temple!

Nessk: You don't have to.

*Nessk then reveals the Triforce of wisdom, and in a brilliant flash, Nessk disappeared, and standing there instead was none other than Nokama herself.*

Lewa: Nokama?? The whole time? The whole time…? The whole time?!

Nokama: Yes, it's me.

Lewa: Why did you disguise yourself as a ninja dark hunter?

Nokama: I did so to avoid detection from Antroz. He's been looking like mad for me ever since that day seven days ago…

*Flashback…*

*Antroz and Nexus are seen riding through the burning forest.*

Antroz: Wrong flashback! Wrong flashback! Stop showing this flashback!!

*End flashback.*

Nokama: Oops. Okay, let's try this again.

Lewa: No, don't bother, let's just forget the flashback. I'm getting bored-tired of them anyway.

Nokama: All right. But now the sages have been awakened and you can go stop Antroz!

Lewa: How will I do that?

Nokama: With the sacred power of the light arrows.

*Nokama raises her arms and bestows upon Lewa the power of the arrow of light.*

*After that, the ground starts to shake.*

Nokama: No, it can't be…

*Before she can react, Antroz imprisons her inside of a purple rupee (which means Nokama is worth 50 rupees??) and gives a sinister laugh.*

Antroz: I must commend you on avoiding me, Nokama, but alas it was all in vain. I can't believe it, too, I mean I would never have found you if you hadn't revealed your secret identity to Lewa! If you hadn't done that, I wouldn't have gotten to you! So much for having the Triforce of Wisdom! As for you, kid, I've got a date with destiny.

Lewa: Is she gorgeous-stunning?

Antroz: Would you stop asking that about everything?! And I'm speaking metaphorically. If you wish to save your precious Nokama, come on down to my castle and save her yourself!

*Antroz then whisks Nokama away and they teleport back to his castle.*

Navi: You know, he has a point… she could have just said "I'm Nokama" quietly and avoided being captured. Maybe she doesn't represent the Triforce of Wisdom very well.

Lewa: Well, not like she hand-gave Metru Nui to some freak in a helmet in a very pathetic manner, did she?

Navi: No. If that happened, I'd just feel ashamed to be even living in Metru Nui.

Lewa: Me, too. I'd almost want to move.

[ShadowBionics]

The penultimate chapter of the story, and then it's over. also, I've decided to go on ahead and post The Moron's Mask around the time the last chapter goes up. However, I won't post Twilight Delinquent, considering it follows the story of Twilight Princess and as most Zelda fans know, that story is pretty dark enough to rival Majora's Mask.


*Lewa flew as fast as he could to the Coliseum. He finished awakening the rest of the sages and now he was ready. He was going to return Iruini's shield to him, but he forgot about it and continued going forward. Just as before, Antroz's castle was surrounded by lava and looking as intimidating as ever.*

Navi: Okay, we're here, so now what do we do?

Rauru: Lewa, can you hear me? It's me... Mata Nui.

Navi: You're not Mata nui, he sounds like Worf!

Rauru: Okay, fine, it's me, Rauru. We six will gather our power to build you the magic bridge so you can get across there so you may confront Antroz.

*Right before Lewa's eyes, sparklies flew all around and then in a brilliant flash, there was a magical rainbow bridge going from where he was all the way to the Coliseum. Lewa, afraid, tapped his foot to see if it would support his weight, and thankfully it did.*

Lewa: Okay, I guess the magic bridge works. Look out, Antroz….

*Meanwhile inside of Antroz's castle, Nokama was suspended in midair in her rupee prison while Antroz played music on the organ.*

Nokama: When did you learn to play the organ anyway?

Antroz: I've been waiting a week, I've had time. Now, silence while I play!

*Antroz begins to play "If you're happy and you know it" on the organ.*

Nokama: Do you know anything else?

Antroz: Have any requests? I'm not sure how long it'll take Lewa to get up here.

*Somewhere downstairs…*

Lewa: Just go up this staircase…

*Lewa goes past the door to find another staircase.*

Lewa: Wait, another staircase? What kind of nutjob puts two winding staircases together?

Navi: Antroz is one wacky nutjob in his own right. D'oh, it doesn't matter now, just keep going!

Lewa: Okay, but I hope there's not another staircase past this one.

*Lewa goes past the door and turns out there IS another staircase.*

Lewa: Are you kidding me?!

*Back with Antroz…*

Antroz, singing to music: You better wake up, wake up, the party's gonna take off, we're living for a Saturday night--

Nokama: Um, can you sing something else?

Antroz: No! You didn't give me a specific song request, so I'm going to sing and play whatever I want!

Nokama: Oh… Lewa, wherever you are, I hope you hurry!

*Downstairs still…*

Lewa, panting: Okay, eight flights of stairs… I hope this next one is…

*Lewa goes past the door and finds still yet ANOTHER staircase.*

Lewa, angry: Come on!

*Back with Nokama and Antroz…*

Antroz, singing/playing: Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, so here's my number. So call me maybe?

Nokama: Stop it! I hate that song so much!!

Antroz: Would you prefer if I played "Friday?"

Nokama: Oh, dear, no!

*Meanwhile, downstairs… Lewa is crawling up the stairs, panting and tired.*

Lewa: Nineteen flights of stairs…

Navi: Lewa, wait, can't you fly?

*Lewa stopped, looked at his jets, hit his face with his palm, let out an angry yell, and started to rocket up the stairs, passing through the other staircases until he reaches staircase number 64.*

Lewa: All right, that's it! Antroz is going down for putting so many staircases in this place!

Navi: And for taking over Metru Nui?

Lewa: That, too!

*Lewa breaks down the door, interrupting Antroz's music. The moment the three of them are in the same room, all three Triforce pieces on the backs of their hands start glowing.*

Antroz: The Triforce pieces are resonating. They are about to be one again. I will be able to have what I once briefly had seven days ago. These toys are too much for you, I demand you return them to me at once!

*Antroz faces Lewa and unleashes a powerful wave of darkness at him.*

Navi: He's too powerful, I can't get near him.

Lewa: It doesn't matter… this is between me and him.

*Lewa jumps to the other side of the room. At that moment, Antroz uses a seismic punch to break apart some of the floor. After that, he begins to hover in the air and laugh in a demented manner.*

*After getting that out of his system, Antroz powers up an attack similar to that of Bantroz's energy attack, and fires it at Lewa, who hits it back at him with his sword. Antroz hits it back with his fang blades, Lewa hits it with his sword and they repeat it until Antroz misses and gets stunned. Lewa fires a light arrow to take him down, brining Antroz to the ground. Lewa jumps over and attacks him a few times, refusing to let him get back up again until Antroz brushes him off and returns to the air.*

*Antroz does another seismic punch to destroy more of the floor, making it Lewa could fall down all 64 flights of stairs if he were to slip. This time, Antroz powers up a different move, which he fires at Lewa as it separates into six different beams of energy, all of which Lewa hit back at Antroz with a spin attack from his sword. Antroz staggered, Lewa fires a light arrow, stunning him once more and prompting Lewa to attack him once more until Antroz can't take anymore.*

Antroz, gasping for breath: Unbelievable… how could I have been beaten by you? I'm… Makuta Antroz!

*Antroz coughs and out of anger, unleashes another wave of darkness attack that shatters all of the windows and even the roof of the tower. Then, out of exhaustion, Antroz collapses. With his power defeated, Nokama is gently lowered to what's left of the ground and her prison shattered. She looks back over at Antroz's collapsed form.*

Nokama: Antroz, pitiful man. Without a strong will and a working brain, he couldn't control the Triforce of Power.

*Nokama was interrupted when the whole tower begins to rumble.*

Lewa: What's going on now?!

Nokama: Lewa, listen to me. With the last of his strength, Antroz is trying to crush us underneath this tower! We have to get out of here!

*Lewa fires up his jets and prompts Nokama to get in his arms to carry her away. She does so (blushing while doing so) and they all fly away safely, just in time to watch all 64 stories of Antroz's tower fall to the ground.*

Nokama: Well, it's all finally over.

Lewa: Yup, it sure is.

Navi: Sorry I wasn't able to do anything in the battle back there.

Lewa: Don't worry, Navi. You almost never did anything for me in the other battles.

*There was a loud rumble sound amongst the broken debris of the tower.*

Nokama: What was that?

Lewa: I guess it's up to me to go see.

[Lewa0111 Nuva]

Well, new chapters are up! I liked the Spirit Temple ones a lot, they were quite funny especially with Shredder and the part where Navi points out that Twinrova's age must have doubled too (so I assume they died of old age?) The Ganon's Tower chapter, though, was a little bit lacking, though still good. Lewa and Nokama's relationship seems to have randomly changed from the beginning, though maybe that's because they are now a whole week older. The most recent chapter followed the dialogue of the games a lot more closely than the others, and as such was a bit more serious and less funny. Though the stair joke was great! I guess it's a bit pointless to give out constructive criticism since you already have all of these chapters pre-written before posting, but eh. Keep it up and I'm looking forward to Moron's Mask and the finale of this one!

Lewa0111 Nuva

[ShadowBionics]

Well, new chapters are up! I liked the Spirit Temple ones a lot, they were quite funny especially with Shredder and the part where Navi points out that Twinrova's age must have doubled too (so I assume they died of old age?) The Ganon's Tower chapter, though, was a little bit lacking, though still good. Lewa and Nokama's relationship seems to have randomly changed from the beginning, though maybe that's because they are now a whole week older. The most recent chapter followed the dialogue of the games a lot more closely than the others, and as such was a bit more serious and less funny. Though the stair joke was great! I guess it's a bit pointless to give out constructive criticism since you already have all of these chapters pre-written before posting, but eh. Keep it up and I'm looking forward to Moron's Mask and the finale of this one!

Lewa0111 Nuva

Yes, they do die of old age because both of their ages are combined into one. The Ganon's Tower chapters are where the story slows down and sets the tone for The Moron's Mask. Likewise (spoilers) the last chapter of The Moron's Mask sets the tone for Twilight Delinquent. I'm trying to stay true to the original story, yet I'm putting my own spin on them, so that's why some of the dialogue is similar to the game. Well, it's not too pointless, seeing as I could always improve. This version of The Dimwit of Time was completed 2 weeks ago, but the first 23 chapters of The Moron's Mask however, were written 2 years ago. I've done my best to update them, but some of the dated references and jokes still remain since I didn't know how else to do them.

Chapter 24, the last chapter, was written about a week ago after a 2 year gap. That one breaks free from the game and bridges MM and TD. It will also introduce one of my favorite characters (No, I'm not talking about her, I'm not myself from 2 years ago anymore) named Elitha.

The last chapter.



*Lewa, Navi, and Nokama just escaped from Antroz's collapsing tower/castle/whatever it was. Just when they thought everything was all right, they heard a sound from the ruins. Lewa slowly walks over, only to see Antroz's shattered form break free from the tower's remains, gasping for breath and his eyes glowing a bright crimson. The Triforce of Power glows on his hands and without having to absorb any power, he begins to shapeshift into a much larger and frightening form. Taking from his red armor and dragon-like Kanohi Jutlin, Antroz became more dragon-like in appearance. Standing on two legs and wielding two large swords, Antroz swipes at Lewa, who tries to defend himself with the Master Sword, knocking the sword out of his hands and sending it a few feet away from Nokama, who stood by watching in horror. She looked back over to see that Antroz completely blocked her out by encircling the area with him and Lewa in fire, trapping them in a dome of inferno.*

Navi: There's no way I'm going to let him hold me back this time. We fight as one.

Lewa: Yeah… but with what?

*Lewa stares at the mutated Antroz, who stared angrily back at him. Lewa backed away and fired a light arrow at him, blinding him as he ran behind him. Lewa then noticed the glowing tip of his tail. Taking a chance, Lewa took the MC Hammer and wailed on it. Sure enough, Antroz took some damage and let out a loud roar in pain. Lewa was able to repeat this strategy for a few more times, temporarily halting Antroz and forcing him to bring down the encircling fire to regain his strength.*

Nokama: Lewa, the Master Sword is over here!

*Lewa quickly raced over and took the Master Sword in hand, and then he went back over to Antroz, who recovered and regained some of his strength. Seeing Lewa, he trapped them in the inferno once more and Lewa repeated his tactic, this time however using the Master Sword to attack his weak point. Once Antroz was down and the inferno was gone, Nokama somehow used her sage powers (don't ask me how that works) to temporarily trap Antroz.*

Nokama: Strike while I hold back this evil guy!

*Lewa looked at his newly powered up Master Sword. He went over and looked at Antroz, who had a glint of fear, yet anger, in his eyes. Lewa wasted no time and slashed at Antroz's head, cutting away part of his mask, and then impaling his head with the Master Sword. Antroz yowled in pain, as it was unbearable and enough to kill a normal being.*

Nokama: Six sages, now!

*From within the Chamber of the Sages, Rauru heard Nokama's plea and gathered the other sages to strike.*

Rauru: Ancient creators of this world... Now! Open the sealed door and send this Evil Incarnation of Darkness into the void of the evil realm!

*With that, all six of the sages used their powers to open the door and then plunge Antroz into the void of the Evil Realm.*

Antroz: You... Curse you, Sages... Curse you, LEEEEEEEEWAAAAAAAAAA! Someday when this seal is broken... That is when I will exterminate your decedents...! As long as the Triforce of Power is in my hand... Wait, where am I anyway?

*With Antroz defeated (for now), everything could now be set right. Nokama and Lewa looked out into the distance at Metru Nui.*

Nokama: Thank you, Lewa. With Antroz defeated, peace will reign in Metru Nui… for now.

Lewa: What are you implying?

Nokama: Well, if you're accusing me of saying that Antroz is going to break out of the Evil Realm and force the goddesses to flood all of our world, that's totally not what I'm saying.

Lewa: Okay, as long as you're not lying to me.

Nokama: I was so young and foolish to think I could control the Sacred Realm…

Lewa: It was just a week ago.

Nokama: Shut up, I'm having a moment here! And I dragged you into it as well… but as a sage, I can return you back to your own time. First, though, you must lay the Master Sword to rest, thereby closing the gate of time.

Lewa: You mean I'll never be able to time travel again?

Nokama: No.

Lewa: And why can't I stay here?

Nokama: Because you must go back and regain your lost time.

Lewa: It was just a week! You act as though it's been years!

*Nokama snatches the Ocarina of Time from Lewa.*

Nokama: Shut up and go regain your lost time!

Lewa: Why are you in freak mode?

Nokama: Thank you, and good bye.

*Nokama plays her lullaby song on the Ocarina, and Lewa is whisked away from this land of Metru Nui, taken back to a Metru Nui from a week ago where Antroz never got the Triforce and he never conquered anything.*

*And as for everyone back in Metru Nui... well...*

Music: Anyway you want it, that's the way I mean it, anyway I want it! *insert guitar riff.*

*Yeah, bascially everyone was throwing a giant party to the music of Journey and having a good time. We have Mario and Luigi-- I mean Norik and Iruini getting drunk off of milk for one thing. Not everyone was happy, however…*

Mido: Darn it, Hahli is gone and now I'm all alone.

Krulloc: Get in line, pal, you're not the only one who's lost someone important.

*But high above the party were six shooting stars, and they weren't six spirit stars, these were the sages... heading right for Onu-Metru. A green and blue spirit star shone on Mido and Krulloc just as they shot past them.*

Kiina: Hey, do you know where you're going?

Whenua: Trust me, water lady, we Archivists know everything!

*That's when the six sages join up on top of Onu-Metru, overlooking the party.*

Roodaka: Hey, this isn't where the party is!

Whenua: Nonsense, all parties are in Onu-Metru! Party party party! Party party party!

Lariska: You ought to be stopping that now.

Hahli: Your singing hurts my ears!

*Meanwhile, with Lewa, he ended up back to "regain his lost time," as Nokama put it. However in doing so, she also just created an alternate universe parallel to the one Lewa had just left.*

Lewa: So now what do I do?

Navi: I don't know. But now that you're finished with your journey, I have to leave you now.

Lewa: What? Navi! Not you, too! Why does everything I love-cherish have to leave me?!

*As Lewa tried to stop her, Navi flew away and right through the lone closed window in the Temple of Time. Without really anything left, Lewa wasn't sure what else to do now, especially since Navi was the one who knew what to do in times like this. So what he did instead was get past the Vahki guards as he had done so before and it was there at the Coliseum he met once again with Princess Nokama.*