I Ship It
#1
Posted Jul 02 2012 - 01:05 AM
Comics
#1:Intro
Enjoy and take the challenge(s) at the end of each comic!
Will be gone from the 10th-late on the 15th.
#2
Posted Jul 02 2012 - 01:53 AM
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The Three Virtues | Eljay: The Becoming | BioCraft: Chronicles
Go give a read to an amazing epic, Seven Lives... Two Faces, written by Kini Hawkeye!
#3
Posted Jul 02 2012 - 02:30 AM
The only thing I really enjoyed was the fact you'll be using the Rayg kit.
Everything else, while hard to read due to the clashing backgrounds, sounds promising for the future,
but I'd really have to see more (and be able to read and view the content with ease) to actually judge this series.
It's easier to judge a comic's content if I'm able to see it properly.
I hope you take consideration into improvements for later comics, such as text that's easier to read,
proper resizing of sprites, and smoother backgrounds, as it's always nice to watch new comic makers improve themselves.
Luck to you in the future.
-V-

I've been making comics on BZP since 2006, and my last solo comic series, V.3, is coming to an end
very soon after a great run of nearly 5 years. Please check it out if you can by clicking the banner above,
and feedback is greatly appreciated. I have a lot planned to give my series
the ending they deserve once my busy life eases up.
Thank you, BZP. =]
Here are some actually great comics that I feel deserve a bit more attention as well.
One Nation Under The Great Spirit - The Lazy Life of a Comic Maker 3.0 - 009 Makes Comics - Tilted - The Awesomepacolypse - Tavkorp: Since 2008 - Akano's Comics
If you don't like my comics, atleast try those topics out.
#4
Posted Jul 02 2012 - 03:01 AM
I don't think this should be called a comic. I honestly don't think that this should be called comic. This isn't even a short story that is written out into panels. No.
This is an advertisement. And quite frankly, not a good one at that.
The text was excruciatingly hard to read. The graphics were nearly nonexistent. The story doesn't even deserve the "nearly".
The font alone spells trouble but having a black font against that endlessly repeating wood background and then somehow having that as the majority of the entire comic...
And normally, I wouldn't even bring this up. I'd just move on, let you learn from your mistakes and come back later to check and see if any improvement had been made. But that "Challenge of the comic" you put at the end brought out something that I haven't felt in a long while. And I really just have to go and say this.
You don't get to do this.
You don't get to put this, this complete lack of any effort whatsoever out here in the open and then tell people what they should criticize and what they shouldn't.
You don't get to literally churn out words and put them into a border and then go on a seemingly self-righteous rant about how you don't think you need to apologize about being bad in graphic design because honestly I think you kind of do.
Not in the "sorry I don't know how to do all these fancy shiny special effects" kind of way; that stuff comes with time and experience and (honestly speaking) mostly Google. No, I'm talking about the "sorry I was too lazy to actually make panels outside of text layers" kind of way. Graphic design, especially in these sprite comics, is more than knowing how to apply filters on Photoshop. Its knowing about layout and color balance and text placement and contrasting elements and actually having something else in your panel outside of giant black Comic Sans text.
There is no point asking people to "criticize the content, not the quality". From a graphical and storytelling perspective, there was no content. There was something telling me that there might be content in the near future, but there was not actual content. And potential being the key? Let me clue you in on a little something. Quality trumps potential every single time. Why? Because all potential means is that you might become great. Quality means that you already are.
This is probably coming across as pretty harsh and half of me wants to apologize and the other half wants to say you deserve it. It's one thing to bash a beginner who's trying their best but doesn't know any better. It's another thing to reprimand someone for doing something just so extremely lazy I can't even begin to describe it when you know they actually can. You've been around here for at least two years, maybe longer. You should know this already, and in fact, judging from your other comics, you actually do know this. Your work wasn't perfect, but you at least knew what to do. You're not a beginner. You're someone who knows better and if you put your mind to it can also do better.
And to have someone like that not only churn out this barely-even-a-comic but actually challenge people under false premises...
Yeah, I guess that sort of got to me.
I know I'm supposed to give some sort of constructive criticism here but honestly all I can say is actually make a comic. Don't just pull something out of your rear and tell us what to expect while simultaneously telling people what they should and shouldn't criticize. Make something you'd actually be more or less proud of.
#5
Posted Jul 02 2012 - 03:34 AM
I think that having a comic be about a shipping company (I'm assuming you mean like UPS) is actually a great idea, I like it a lot. Its original and could come up with a lot of neat jokes. I also like how your using the Rayg kit 2.5, its a great kit.
The downfall with it though is that the graphics are pretty eye searing. I will admit that I did have trouble reading some of the text. Also the backgrounds are just odd, it doesn't look like you put much effort into them. Even using an accessory kit to help with backgrounds will probably help it. Also its apparent that you have gimp as you stated and as the backgrounds show. I think you should probably check out some of these links which might help you with future comic making attempts.
Official how to make comics topic (or as I like to call it, Gimp 101.)
Official Gimp Help topic
Now I will partly agree with Kahi about how the comic doesn't really feel like a comic. It does feel like a commercial in a way. Also you shouldn't requesting people criticize a comic based on only the jokes/content because a comic is also visual. Its art work and story/comedy put together. If you really wish to have people judge something by just jokes you could make a comedy or a short story. Its good to think of alternatives.
I do believe you have potential if you really try, you got some great ideas. You just need to work harder on them and I'm sure you'll do a lot better against us tough critics.
~Soran
Edited by Soran, Jul 02 2012 - 03:48 AM.

Soran's Comic Emporium |The Chimoru R Kit | Traitor
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ACRONYMS Anonymous | Noobicorn Inc. | Snicker's Comics 4Th Generation
#6
Posted Jul 02 2012 - 04:59 AM
-Rez
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. -Albert Einstein
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction.
-Albert Einstein
#7
Posted Jul 02 2012 - 09:30 AM
I mean, why did you even bother to make this? There isn't anything here, your comic was literally 4 panels long and the rest was nothing except you stating you know nothing about the source material you're basing the series off and rambling on about how critics should focus on your (nonexistent) content over it's quality.
But exactly like Kahi said, you don't get to decide how people judge your work, especially if you can't even be bothered to try and put quality in it. If your just going to knowingly make a lackluster comic that you know yourself has very little to show from the very beginning then why are you even trying?
You can make a great series if you put forth the effort but I sure ain't seeing that. Well actually I can't really see anything after attempting to read through this page, my eyes literally hurt.
You need to spend the time and learn the basics, learn how to produce good visuals as well as good story because unless you're lost, this is in fact the comic forum and like it or not comics are visual representation, a story told through images. If your images don't match the quality of your story then no one is going to take you seriously.
Edited by Illustrious Var, Jul 02 2012 - 09:33 AM.

#8
Posted Jul 02 2012 - 10:30 AM
And we're all allowed to criticise ANYTHING in your comics. And we're free to say MAKE A REAL COMIC! But maybe you will later.
Honestly, I'd say comic making is not your thing. You have so many closed topics serving as you comic cemeteries. I'm sorry, but you should probably do something else on BZPower.
Click the homemade banners to go to Sonic: Pure Chaos and Superiornatural: the Epic!
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Why must all our greatest dreams come to an end? I would have slept for eternity just to keep my favorite one...
#9
Posted Jul 02 2012 - 01:08 PM
Edited by tent163phantoka, Jul 02 2012 - 01:12 PM.
Will be gone from the 10th-late on the 15th.
#10
Posted Jul 02 2012 - 01:34 PM
I apologize for the graphics and the challenge in the first comic. I know I should know better. those panels were made by Nuparurocks, not me. I have no Idea how he made them. Einstein defined insanity as trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results. under that definition, I'm cookoo for Cocoa Puffs, which I already knew. Thomas Edison went through thousands of prototypes before he perfected the lightbulb. I'm not giving up. I'll improve. I'm not sure how yet, but I'm setting my mind to it no matter what. that background was a fill from GIMP, which many comic makers here idolize. So you guys may say I'm crazy (which you're correct about), you may say I should do something else( which you have), but if you want something to read, then buckle up. You may think I'll go down easy, but that ain't happenin'. and yes the box was made with MS Paint, but so is MSPaint Adventures. You seem to be under the impression I will give up this time. I won't. Cue the theme from Rocky.
These comics are far fetched from being able to be compared to Edison and Einstein. We aren't saying you won't improve, or that we want to take you down. No, we're saying that these are not comics. This is text in a .png format.
No one has said that you are "giving up." We're speaking what is wrong with what we see and are giving advice for improvement. And besides - If you are going to compare this and yourself to Edison, who made tons of prototypes, then it would be wise to keep them to yourself and post comics when you feel they are at their peek, which these are not. I am not sure, but I don't think Edison allowed people to use his prototypes until he perfected them.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Three Virtues | Eljay: The Becoming | BioCraft: Chronicles
Go give a read to an amazing epic, Seven Lives... Two Faces, written by Kini Hawkeye!
#11
Posted Jul 02 2012 - 01:34 PM
Gimp Introduction Comic
This comic helped me with gimp as well so it can help. You just need to have a determination to try new things. Also if you need help, don't be afraid to ask questions in either the Official Gimp Help Topic or the Official how to make comics topic.
We don't want to see you fail, we just want to help you given your other attempts at comic making. Considering you haven't quit yet tells us that you do enjoy making comics or at least want to. Try not to disregard anything we say.
Remember you can take as long a time as you want since the Comic forum no longer has a limit.
~Soran

Soran's Comic Emporium |The Chimoru R Kit | Traitor
Tng's Comics! | Dents, Dings, And Disasters | Rift | Live, Learn and Lawsuits | Tavkorp | Gavla's Comics
Spoof Quest! | The Lazy Life of a Comic Maker | Darcsyde's Comics | ~V.3~ | Akano's Comics | Feline Oneker
Toa Piraka Hakann's Comics | R.a.t. Reloaded | Sybrenetx | A Slightly Different Tale | Reznas's Comics
009 Makes Comics | Maphrox's Comics | Nathan8472's Banner Shop | Terra Nuva's Comics
ACRONYMS Anonymous | Noobicorn Inc. | Snicker's Comics 4Th Generation
#12
Posted Jul 02 2012 - 03:13 PM
Will be gone from the 10th-late on the 15th.
#13
Posted Jul 04 2012 - 12:05 PM
(Also, MS Paint Adventures is made with Photoshop.)
da da dadadadada da circus

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