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[ShadowBionics]

The follow-up to The Dimwit of Time, here is the sequel based on Majora's Mask, promptly named The Moron's Mask. This picks up 6 months after the end of The Dimwit of Time and follows Lewa as he goes off to try and find Navi, and instead he finds a demented toy who wants to bring destruction with the help of the Kanohi Elitha, the Mask of Death.

The story was written 2 years ago in 2010 and was originally suggested to BZPower back then as well, but I discontinued it after the first chapter and continued to write it elsewhere. As such, while I have gone and updated parts of the story, there are still some old, dated jokes and references that remain. Also, for those who are familiar with me from 2006-2010, don't worry, she won't be in the story as much. Those days are over for me now. However, she still does play a part in the story. Anyways, onto the first, slightly modified chapter.


In the land of Metru Nui, the people speak about a legend... A legened about a crazy Toa of Air with a sword and fairy who saved Metru Nui. Together, they faced many hardships, like Vahki guards, a creepy talking bird, a burnt yelling guy, and so on. They traveled a great distance from the city to the desert and back. After defeating a great evil, they were seperated as the fairy could no longer take the lunacy of the Toa. This left him confused and wanting to find her.

Now in search of his lost friend, the legend continues...

Bionicle: The Moron's Mask

*It had been about 6 months after Toa Lewa triumphed over the evil Antroz, rescuing Nokama and saving Metru Nui... or so he thought, anyway. He and Nokama uneasily became friends and she helped him get ready for his search for Navi, very eager to get him out. She enlisted the help of some of her best knights... one of which had a dark secret that no one would ever know for a long time.*

Lewa: What're ya going to do?

Tahu: I don't know why I have to listen to Gali.

Lewa: Her name is Nokama.

Tahu: Whatever. "You have to go get him out, he's going on a journey!" I tell you. I got most of your stuff. I got that shield of yours that oddly looks like it belongs to the hard-working Iruini. I also got your skyblaster and your bow and arrows and bombs and stuff like that. And I kept your Air Sabre for you, so you're all set up.

Lewa: Thank you, fellow hero! Now I'm off to search-find Navi!

Tahu: I don't know what a Navi is, but okay, I guess whatever makes you happy. I'm going to go home now and wonder about why it never snows in San Francisco.

*Because he never got Epona in this timeline, Lewa was walking through the tangled mess that was the chute system of Metru Nui. As he walked on, he was suddenly tripped by a strange figure who looked like a mere puppet. As he closed in on Lewa, it was seen that he was wearing some sort of evil, immoral mask, like one only a Makuta would wear. Even then, this was a mask even the Brotherhood of Makuta considered to be evil and dangerous for them due to the legends and experiences that surrounded it. When the evil masked puppet spoke, his voice sounded like it came from the throat of someone who enjoyed pain...*

Remote 2.0, Dr. Claw voice: Heh heh heh heh... I'm so evil, evil is so fun. And what is this?

*Accompanied by two fairies, the evil puppet went to inspect the body of the unconscious Toa.*

Remote 2.0: Oh, look, a dead body. *He kicked Lewa over on his side and inspected him.* Now time to rob him and leave him in a stupid pose. Heh heh heh... Oh, look, and ocarina.

*The puppet took the ocarina and plays a few notes.*

Tael: Dang, man, we got the jackpot! Let me see.

Remote 2.0: Okay, have it your way.

Tatl: Wait, this isn't Burger King!

Remote: 2.0: Who said anything about Burger King? Heh heh heh!

Lewa, getting up: Oh, man, I hurt my head... *The Toa looked over and saw the strange freak playing his ocarina.* Hey you. Who are you?

Remote 2.0, hiding ocarina: That is none of your concern. Now go back to being dead like a good little boy.

Lewa: No!

Remote 2.0: That wasn't a request, that was an order. Now let me go go about my business in peace.

Lewa: But that's my ocarina! Give it back.

Remote 2.0: How about I make you a trade... I keep your ocarina and you... fall down this hole!!

Lewa: That's not a fair-trade!

Remote 2.0: It is to me...

*The robot kicks Lewa down into a rabbit hole and his mind is seduced with subliminal messages, mostly concerning buying Oxyclean and Orange-Glo. Finally, he landed on top of a large flower. Ae he got up, he stood face-to-face with the evil thief, who held a remote in has hands like it was some weapon.*

Lewa: Good thing this flower was here, that long-fall could have been serious.

Remote 2.0: Indeed...

Lewa: Oh, it's you. Give me my ocarina!

Remote 2.0: No. I think I'll just keep it for myself. I'll pawn it off for some money or something.

Lewa: Look-see... You don't want to get on my bad side... I'm the Hero of Time! I defeated Antroz and I saved the princess!

Remote 2.0: Oh, please, that doesn't frighten me. Unlike Antroz, I am actually evil.

Lewa: Oh, like that's going to scare me?

Remote 2.0: I cancelled and closed most of ShadowBionics' BZPower comedies!

Lewa: Monster! Now I'm really going to kill-handle you!

Remote 2.0: I think not. You see, this remote gives me some incredible power. This mask contains great and powerful dark magic as well. In fact, all I have to do is utter the cursed words, and you will be completely powerless.

Lewa: What cursed words?

Remote 2.0: Burning Deoderant!

*At that moment, a violent sensation overcame Lewa's body, and he fell to the ground. Then in his mind, he found himself surrounded by many Deku Scrubs, all laughing at him.*

*In Lewa's mind*

Deku Scrubs, chanitng: One of us! One of us! One of us! One of us! One of us!

Lewa: Get away from me! *The Toa ran for his life, forgetting that he could fly, from the Deku Scrubs, who just multiplied and overcame him in a giant mosh.*

Deku Scrubs, chanting louder: One of us! One of us! One of us! One of us!

*Lewa snapped out of his vision and when he looked in the reflection and saw who he was (lol, Christina Aguilera reference), he got the surprise of his life.*

Lewa: Mata Nui's pointy shoulders...! You turned me into a plant thing!

*Indeed he was, but more specifically he was actually more of a Deku scrub with that wooden body and that long trumpet-like nose. We all know he's a Deku Scrub, but he doesn't seem to realize that quite yet. Not until it kind of hits him later on, but what am I saying, really? Let's all go back and enjoy the story.*

Remote 2.0, demonic laughter: Now you'll never be as cool as me with that silly appearance! *As the weirdo-turned-dark lord floated away with Tael, Tatl stayed along to start beating up on poor Lewa.*

Tael: Darn it, hurry up over there!

*Before Tatl could stop beating him up, the door closed between the two fairy siblings. Tatl flew to the door, trying to open it, but her body was too small and frail to do so. She then went back to Lewa.*

Tatl: Hey, you!

Lewa: All right! I finally found you, Navi!

Tatl: Uh... what's a Navi? Some sort of yogurt?

Lewa: That's your name... You. Don't you remember?

Tatl: If I was this Navi friend of yours, would I have jsut beaten you up a minute ago?

Lewa: Yeah. You did that a lot to me, especially when I was in the middle of something, if you were trying to stop me from doing something, you wanted me to do something, or if you were bored.

Tatl: Listen you wooden freak, I'm not this Navi! I'm Tatl, and I need you to help me catch up with Remote and my brother Tael.

Lewa: Oh, Navi, you're so crazy.

Tatl: *groans.*

Lewa: You think your name's Tatl?

Tatl: I don't think, I KNOW it is.

Lewa: And your brother's name is Tael?

Tatl: Yes.

Lewa: If you put those together, you get--

Tatl: Yes, I know that...

Lewa: Tael-Tatl. *stupid laugh.*

Tatl, groans: Something tells me this is going to be a really long day...

*So the fairy and her new grass-Toa companion set off through the underwoods... lolz, Underwood. Like Carrie. Underwood. Okay, I'll shut up now.*

Tatl: Come on, Lewa, I see a door up ahead!

Lewa: Great! Now I can kill-handle that Remote guy for turning me into a grass Pokemon!

*As Lewa opens the door and steps inside, they go into what looks like a creepy clockwork tower.*

Tatl: I've wanted to ask you about that. You changed species, but your voice sounds the same. Sounds like lazy writing on behalf of the writer.

Happy Mask Saleman, Scottish accent: Aye. That is a lazy bit of writing indeed.

Lewa: What the Makuta?! Who are you?!

Happy Mask Salesman: Oh, me? I be the Happy Mask Salesman. I sell happy masks. I also sell EVIL MASKS! Masks from the darkest depths of Karzahni! The kinds of masks that could enslave all Matoran kind and demand massive sacrifices and then watch Finding Nemo and laugh at the bit where his mum dies! But other than that, they're mostly happy. I've got an Al Pacino mask on may backpack, and that makes everyone happy.

*That's when the creepy salesman goes into his crazy instant-changing poses.*

Happy Mask Salesman: I was wondering if you could do me a favor. You see, I have to leave here in 3 days and one of my cursed masks got stolen by a weird Robot with targets painted on his cheeks and a messy blond wig.

Lewa: Robot with messy blond wig? I've seen that guy!

Happy Mask Salesman: Yes, him. I thought maybe you could get it back for me, you know?

Lewa: Sure, I guess.

Happy Mask Salesman: That's great. You know, people say if you carry a cursed mask for too long ,you go crazy. But I've been doing it for years, and I'm not crazy. *He then grabs Lewa and starts berattling him.* I mean, DO I LOOK CRAZY TO YOU?!

Lewa: Would you let me go?!

*The weirdo lets go of him and goes into another instantly-changing pose.*

Happy Mask Salesman: Not yet. First, I must teach you the Song of Healing...

Lewa; Oh... no... what's he gonig to do?!

*That's when the freak starts to get his groove on to the music of KC and the Sunshine Band. He puts his hands on his face and starts flailing his head.*

Music: Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake.

Happy Mask Salesman: Shake your whole self. Shake your whole self!

*He then makes a frowning face and starts bending back and forth a bunch of times.*

Music: Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake.

*Lewa and Tatl, scared out of their minds, take advantage of the moment and head for the doors.*

Happy Mask Salesman: Oh... he's gone now. But I'm sure the rest of you will stay here and listen to the rest of the song, right?

To be continued...

Happy Mask Salesman: Okay, fine, then you all can fall down a hole.

Edited by ShadowBionics, Jul 25 2012 - 10:53 PM.

[ShadowBionics]

All right, this next chapter is actually chapters 2 and 3 together. I never realized how short these were, compared to the new DOT chapters. So it might not take 23 chapters to finish the story. If anything I might double up on certain chapters to speed things along. So here are chapters 2 and 3 combined.




*Lewa stepped out from the giant clockwork mechanisms of the... clock tower thing and escaped from that demented mask salesman.*

Lewa: That guy was a freak.

Tatl: Yeah, but for now let's just try and forget about him and concentrate on trying to find Remote and my brother.

Lewa: Okay, sure-fine.

Tatl: What time is it anyway? It looks like morning...

*Lewa looked around, observing a bunch of the people in town, some of which oddly looked like people he recognized from his past journey 6 months ago. He then looked up at the sky and he stared at them... moon?*

Lewa: Hmm... judging by the position of the sun... I'd say it's high noon.

Tatl: Okay, at least that's been settled, so let's go ahead and find him now.

Lewa: Yeah, so he can change me back to a Toa-hero, the way I'm supposed to be!

*So Lewa and Tatl began to look through the town and ask around if anyone had even seen the strange puppet and his fairy companion.*

Lewa: Hey, you!

Jaller; What if it snowed in San Francisco?

Lewa: I don't care, where's the puppet?

Jaller: Like, where's anything, man? Are we all not just random atoms gathered up in a certain spot at one time?

Lewa: Uh... Shut up!

*Lewa ran from the beatnik that was Toa Jaller and kept moving through the town. So far he wasn't having a whole lot of luck.*

Lewa: I might as well just sit by this flower and give up.

Business Scrub: Hold on there, Jethro! *Out of no where, a business scrub flies in and lands in the flower and then he pops back out and puts on a fez.*

Lewa: Who are you supposed to be?

Business Scrub: I be a business man, my fine sir. Funny running into another fellow Deku Scrub amongst these parts.

Lewa: Oh... okay.

Business Scrub: It's nothing much, but anything to help me stay away from my wife.

Lewa: Deku scrubs can get married?

Business Scrub: Yeah, you haven't heard? But anyway, she's on my case because our anniversary is coming up and she wants something called a Moon's Tear, but I don't know where you get that, but she keeps nagging me. Do you know what I mean?

Lewa: Yeah... my fairy-partner over here does that to me a lot.

Tatl: What are you talking about, I just met you!

Lewa: Silly Navi, acting like she doesn't remember.

*Tatl groans.*

Business Scrub: Can you do me a favor, my fine sir? If you just so happen to see one of these particular stones, would you oblige to give it to me?

Lewa: Okay, you poor Mr. Haney rip off. I'll keep that in long-thought.

*After leaving the Business Scrub who was stroking his leafy mustache, he went on some more and found some kid trying to pop a magic ballon.*

Lewa: Hey, kid!

Bombers' Leader: What do you want? I don't talk to Deku Scrubs. *He then went back to trying to pop the balloon.*

Lewa: Okay, have it your way.

*Lewa then looked at the balloon and tapped into his... Deku Scrub powers... if you call them that. He aimed his head at the balloon and fired a bubble from his nose, popping the balloon.*

Lewa: That'll get his attention!

Tatl: Did you just fire the balloon with you...? Oh, I don't want to know.

Bombers' Leader: Hey, did you just pop that balloon with your snot?

Lewa: Uh...

Bombers' Leader: That's so cool! Hey, guys, check this out!

*The rest of the Bombers come along.*

Bombers' Leader: Should we let this guy in?

Bombers' 3: No way.

Lewa: I don't wanna be a part of your kid-gang, I just want to find Remote!

Bombers' Leader: Then why don't you ask that guy in the observatory, that guy knows everything.

Lewa: Worth a shot.

*Taking the advice of the Bombers Gang, Lewa went into the sewers to go find the guy in the observatory.*

Lewa: I hate underground.

Tatl: Get over it.

Lewa: I don't want to, especially after all the other stuff I had to do underground! I miss MC Hammer...

Tatl: I'm not even going to bother asking, just keep going until we find this guy and ask him what we want to know!

*So after going through the sewer, fighting off the spiders, and popping an Elitha balloon (oops, spoilers), and then he climbed up a ladder where he found a place that looks like it came from the 1970's.*

Lewa: This place is trippy...

Scarecrow: Hey, there, baby!

Lewa: Aah, talking scarecrow!

Scarecrow: Let's dance!

Lewa: Aah! That's much worse! *Lewa ran up the winding staircase and he found some crazy old man looking through a telescope.*

Tatl: Think that's him?

Lewa: Let's go ask. Hey, creepy-guy, where's Remote hiding?

The Professor, wheezy voice: My boy, whenever I came to doubt or wanted to know something, I always just look through the telescope for answers. It knows everything.

Lewa: Okay. Can I look?

The Professor: Well, of course you can.

*So Lewa looked into the telescope and he saw a variety of things... some of which I can't say out loud, others that were just plain weird. But the weirdest thing of all was when he spotted Remote atop the clock tower. He looked up at the moon, which shot a tear from its eye. Maybe it's a sad little moon that needs some tender love and care. Lewa looked back at Remote, who turned around and started shaking his behind at him.*

Music: Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake.

Happy Mask Salesman: Shake your whole self. Shake your whole self.

Lewa: Aah! Happy Mask Salesman!

*Lewa ran out the door to escape from the nutjob looming over his shoulder and tripped on the Moon's Tear.*

Lewa: Hey, didn't that wood guy with the mustache want this? *Lewa took it with him as we went back inside to go back to... wherever he was before. Maybe he should have asked where he was?*

The Professor: Well, my boy, this would be the island of Alma Nui... You are in the island's main city of Clock Town.

Lewa: Clook Town?

The Professor: No, it's "Clock Town."

Lewa: You say whatever, I call it Clook town.

*Unfortunately for Lewa, there wasn't a whole lot he could do. See, the top of the clock tower wasn't really accessable until two more days at midnight, which was ironically when the Happy Mask Salesman said he'd have to leave, and ironic because of something else that is going to happen that I won't say aloud. If Lewa had his old Toa body, he could just fly on up there and challenge Remote, but he couldn't so there was no use.*

Lewa: So now what do we do?

Tatl: At least we know where he is. I almost doubt he'll be doing much of anything up there.

Lewa: Except shaking his rear end at people...

Tatl: Get over it, that was an hour ago.

Lewa: But it disturbed me, and it got even worse when that creepy mask guy popped up over my shoulder. And that scarecrow!

Tatl: Come on. Don't be a wimp.

Lewa: I am!

Tatl: Then you're just a big baby.

*This gets sort of boring, so I'm just going to "fast forward" their argument until the end... two days later!*

Lewa: And that is why Carrie Underwood will be better than Taylor Swift.

Tatl: Wow... you definite convinced me.

*The doors to the clock tower start to open up at that exact moment, and the clock strikes midnight as well.*

Lewa: All right, perfect-time!

*Meanwhile, up at the clock tower, Remote still wearing the creepy mask, was floating above the platform, tossing and catching the Ocarina of Time in his hand like a coin.*

Remote 2.0: I hope some foolish mortals come around to challenge my unbeatable power soon. I've also spent the last two days working on my insults and snappy comebacks.

Lewa: Hey, puppet boy, prepare to face the Hero of Time!

Tael: Why don't you hit him with a snappy comeback? Now's your chance.

Remote 2.0, strikes Tael: I know that, you fool! You take me as an ametuer?

Tatl: Hey! Don't hit my brother! Do you really think you're our friend after that?

Remote 2.0: Well, whatever. So, you think you're the hero of time? I've got news for you: You're not.

Lewa: Ah, Antroz tried that on me already, and it didn't work.

Remote 2.0: So it seems. Well, then...

[pause]

Announcer: If you want Remote to say "Someone should put you in a box," please comment on this chapter. If you want him to say "I'm going to turn this place topsy turvy and all kinds of curvy," please comment on this chapter. Or if you want Tatl to break into song and dance around like Katy Perry, you should go out more, then come back and comment on this chapter. Voting begins now.















Announcer: Time's up, the votes are in.

[un-pause]

Remote 2.0: ... To that, I say--

Tatl: Phew... Suddenly I have the powerful urge to dance to some music!

Lewa: You might have defeated me before, that won't happen a second time!

Remote 2.0: And why is that, pray tell?

Lewa: Because I've got Navi by my side.

Tatl: It's Tatl!

Lewa: Oh, bless you.

Remote 2.0, snickers: That's it? Your big rescue is a fairy? Hah hah hah hah hah! Oh, that is rich!

Lewa: What are you so laugh-hardy about? It's more than you have.

Remote 2.0: Really? Look up.

Lewa: Okay, but I see not point in-- O_O Holy Karzahni's back hair! The moon! It has a face on it! And it looks SO SAD... Maybe all it needs is some tender love and care...

Remote 2.0: Stop being a dimwit and pay attention to me when I'm talking. After all, I've got the moon on my side.

Lewa: Okay, so big whoop. The moon has a scowl-face on it now. You going to give it a pretty-bonnet and dress, too? What're you going to do after that, drop it on us?

Remote 2.0: Actually, that last thing you said is correct.

Lewa: Oh...

Tatl: This doesn't look good.

Lewa: If only I had some sort of clue he was messing with the moon earlier!

*Why don't you think back to when you first got here, or check your pocket for that Moon's Tear? That might have been some sort of help.*

Remote 2.0: Enough of this foolishness, prepare to be crushed.

Tatl: Why are you doing this? I thought we were friends?

Remote 2.0: I'm sorry, you're right. Maybe I am taking this a little too far. Maybe I should give up my mad plans of crushing the town, change your friend back, and return this mask back.

Lewa: Surprise bubble attack! *Lewa fired a bubble at him, causing him to fall back and drop the Ocarina of Time.*

Remote 2.0: My goodness, that is nasty... I'm going to kill you! All right, Luna, crush them!

*Remote throws back his head, lifts his arms, and emits a powerful high-pitched scream. The moment he does, the moon starts to draw closer and closer to the town, almost about to touch the clock tower you could say.*

Tatl, groans: Why did you do that?

*Lewa runs over and grabs the ocarina.*

Lewa: I got it!

Tatl: Could you stop standing there like a moron? In case you haven't noticed, we're going to be crushed to death! If we're going to survive this, we need to make every second count... oh, who am I kidding?! Help us! Someone! Anyone! We need more time!

Preston Stormer: Did someone call for help?

Tatl: Not from you six.

Natalie Breez: Aww! Why doesn't anyone like us?!

Natalie Horler: Get back over here, you! *She makes a mad grab at Breez, pulling her back.*

Edited by ShadowBionics, Jul 26 2012 - 11:05 PM.

[ShadowBionics]

Here is chapter 4, although in this case it is now chapter 3. Combining chapters is so weird, yet it helps speed things along and makes the story telling go along smoother.




*The moon was about to collide with Clock Town, and all Lewa was doing was staring at the Ocarina of Time. Without thinking, Lewa tried to attack Remote again, this time making him drop his own remote control weapon. Lewa scrambled over and snatched that as well.*

Remote 2.0: That's the last straw. Now accept your doom!

Tael: Swamp. Mountain. Ocean. Bigger Mountain. Find the four who are there, bring them here.

Remote 2.0: Stop talking in nonsense, fool!

Tatl: What are you talking about?

Natalie, beating up Breez: You're going down, name-stealer!

*While all the chaos was going on, Lewa was having a flashback...*

Nokama: Why aren't you staying Lewa? Don't you like me?

Lewa: It's not that. I like you. I just want to find my fairy friend.

Nokama: I understand. Well, take the Ocarina of Time with you to remember me by.

Lewa: You don't need it?

Nokama: No, not with Antroz being locked up. There's no point. If you ever are in trouble use it to play the Song of time. The Goddess of Time will help you. You'll be forced to relive the same three days like in the movie Groundhog Day, but it's better than nothing...

*End of Flashback*

Lewa: Well, this qualifies as trouble... *He tries to use the Ocarina of Time, but then upon usage, it turns into the Deku pipes. He uses it to play the Song of Time, and just like that, he is warped back to the beginning of everything, to the very start of the three days.*

Tatl: Wha-what?! What happened?! Where are we? Why's everything back to normal?

Lewa: Beats me.

Tatl: That instrument!

Lewa: What about it?

Tatl: What did you do?

Happy Mask Salesman: A better question would be "What didn't he do?"

Lewa: What the-- What are you doing here?

Happy Mask Salesman: The better question would be "What are you doing here?" You were gone for five seconds after I tried to sing you the Song of Healing. You were just dropped here out of nowhere. Now I assume that means you have the mask I wanted.

Lewa: About that...

Happy Mask Salesman, berattling him: Oh, great, you've got it!

Lewa: Would you let me go, you freak?

Happy Mask Salesman: Okay, now we have to turn you back to your normal self. Now, off with that mask, boy. *berattling him.* Off with it now! Be gone now!

Lewa: You're shaking me from my shoulders! And I'm not wearing a mask!

Happy Mask Salesman, stops: Oh. Right. Okay then. In that case, I must teach you the Song of Healing.

Tatl: Oh, dear, no!

Happy Mask Salesman: Here's my massive organ. *He indicates the large instrument in the corner.* Now then, let me play you the Song of Healing...

*The Mask Salesman then begins to play a soft melody*

Tatl: Well, I guess that's a nice song.

Happy Mask Salesman, singing to song: Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake. Shake your whole self.

Tatl: Okay, never mind then.

*At that moment, Lewa felt his body beginning to writhe.*

*Inside Lewa's head, he was a Toa again and he saw a big Deku Scrub, leaving him.*

Lewa: Bye!

Deku Scrub: See you later, boy.

Lewa: Why do you sound like Antroz?

Deku Scrub: Because I'm red, that's why.

*Back in reality, Lewa was turned back into a Toa, and from his face fell as mask that looked like a Deku Scrub.*

Lewa: What? I'm back to my Toa-Hero self again?! Yes! *He then takes the mask for himself and looks at it.* Sort of odd-looking if I say so myself.

Happy Mask Salesman: Good, then. I've kept my end of the deal, now give me what you've promised to me.

Lewa: Yeah, about that... you see...

Happy Mask Salesman: Don't tell me... my mask... you didn't...

Tatl: I'm scared.

Lewa: You aren't mad, are you?

Happy Mask Salesman: No, I'm not mad...

Lewa: Okay, good...

Happy Mask Salesman: Because I'm going to kill you!

*The Happy Mask Salesman lets out a monster-like roar, grabs Lewa by the neck, and begins to strangle him.*

Happy Mask Salesman: Do you know what you've done to me?! I don't think you do!

Lewa, choked: I'm sorry...

Happy Mask Salesman: The mask that got stolen from me was Elitha's Mask! They say its original master and maker used it to perform hexes and rituals, at least until the owner was betrayed and had their spirit sealed within the mask. That was a big mistake, it was, because this was also the Mask of Death. The mask had to be sealed away in darkness and it had since vanished into legend.

Lewa, falls to the floor: So what now?

Happy Mask Salesman: I went through a lot of trouble to get that mask, but then that demented toy stole it from me. Please, I beg of you, you must get it back!

Lewa: Okay, just keep your hands off me and maybe I'll help you.

Happy Mask Salesman: Keep that song I taught you in mind, it should be of some help to you.

Lewa: Hold on.

Natalie Horler, singing: What's going on? 'Cause you're stuck in the middle, move along.

Lewa: Now tell me about this weird thing Remote dropped. I snatch-stole it from him when I attacked him a second time.

Happy Mask Salesman: Hmm... judging by the inscriptions, this must be a magic remote.

Lewa: Magic how?

Happy Mask Salesman: This thing is tainted by the mask. I'm surprised you got it. Well, I can assume if you really wanted to, you could do almost whatever you want to alter the time and space fabric of our very universe. Just as Remote himself has done. Like if you pressed this rewind button, you'd relive the moment again.

Lewa: Like the movie Groundhog Day?

Happy Mask Salesman: Yeah, something like that.

Lewa: No thanks, I have a magic ocarina that can do that.

Happy Mask Salesman: Now let me teach you the dance of healing!

*The moment he said those words, Natalie, Lewa and Tatl bolted for the door.*

Happy Mask Salesman: Why does he keep doing that?

*Outside of the Clock Tower.*

Lewa: Why does he keep doing that?

Natalie: I don't know. Why's he still on the streets? He's absolutely mental, I swear.

Tatl: No kidding.

Natalie: Why hasn't anyone called the Lunatic Response Unit yet? *laughs.*

Lewa: Too bad I only have a remote and not a phone, then I could fast-call them to pick him up. Wait, how is it you're still-standing with us?

Natalie: When you played that song back there, I guess it sort of just whisked me off with you and your fairy partner over there. *laughs* So what's wrong, am I unwanted baggage?

Lewa: No, not that.

Tatl: Let's go now.

Lewa: Your brother said something... what was it?

Tatl: I don't know, he was just saying something random about a swamp, mountain, ocean, and a bigger mountain.

Natalie: I thought he was naming stuff from a bad movie. *laughs.*

Tatl: So was I, but he's always saying stuff like that. Unless he was talking about the four major areas of Alma Nui.

Lewa: So then why don't we check out this swamp.

Natalie: Ugh... I have bad experiences with swamps. You go on ahead, I'll just stay in town and keep an eye on things for you, hmm?

Lewa: Well... If you say so. Let's go, Navi!

Tatl: It's Tatl!

Lewa: Then you should have gone before we left!

*And so with Natalie staying behind, Lewa and Tatl began to make their way for the swamp of Alma Nui, hoping to find signs of whatever Tael was trying to tell them before Remote's fit of rage. There was no telling what exactly awaited them or what Natalie meant by bad experiences. Never the less, the duo pressed on, although Lewa was starting to really get on Tatl's nerves, and that is not a very good thing to do.*

[ShadowBionics]

Here are chapter 5 and 6. I'm going to combine these next to chapters since the former seems a bit short. Here you go. Also note the obviously outdated joke and reference to how I originally tried to write this story for BZPower two years ago... With that said, a lot of these jokes might be outdated and while I have gone and changed a few of them for BZP, there are some that are just intergral to the story and thus can't be changed unless a plothole were to be left in its place.




*Lewa and Tatl ventured past the southern gate in Clock Town to go to the swamp, after learning from the Happy Mask Salesman about what was going on… but how does he know?*

Happy Mask Salesman: Because I stole your notes.

Lord of shadows: Give those back to me! *steals back his notes and goes away.*

*ANYWAY, Natalie elected to stay behind, as she didn't want to go into the swamp very much due to some… bad experiences. Lewa looked out and the first thing he sees his all of these monsters running loose.*

Tatl: Okay, Lewa, time to set off on our epic adventure that is NOT cancelled.

Lewa: Why was it cancelled?

LOS: Don't look at me, BZPower rejected it.

*Several seconds later, we cut to the Deku Palace, just as the boat is dropping off Lewa.*

Lewa: Swamp-land, here we come!

*Indeed, Lewa and Tatl were outside the Deku Palace, which was crawling with many guards… and it had awesome music playing throughout.*

Lewa: I like this music, it is so shiny.

Tatl: Okay, we're here now.

Lewa: Shut up, I wanna hear the music!

Tatl: This place looks heavily guarded. The only way we can get in is if you put on that mask and be a Deku Scrub again.

Lewa: Aww! But I wanna hear the music!

Tatl: Do it!

*she snaps her claw-- oh, wait, she's not Nisfreaki. She holds her first to threaten his kidneys.*

Lewa: I don't wanna be a scrub again. I can't just go kill-slaughter then?

Tatl: No! Besides, what kind of hero would you be if you did that?

Lewa: But I hit that other guard on the head that other time.

Tatl: What other time? Look, Lewa, just stop complaining and use the mask.

Lewa: Fine… *He takes out the Deku Mask and puts it on. He starts to gasp as the mask starts to change him, then lets out a horrifying scream as the mask completely rewrites his DNA.*

Tatl: That didn't hurt, did it?

Lewa: No, I only had my whole DNA rewritten.

Tatl: Stop being such a baby. We have a palace to investigate.

*So Lewa goes up to the two guards at the main gate.*

Guard 1: This is the palace of the Deku kingdom! Only those on official business may enter! But you may enter to see the public humiliation of the monkey that angered out king!

Lewa: Uh… thanks?

Guard 2: Follow this hall straight to the Royal Chamber and do not enter any other areas whatsoever!

*So Lewa does as he is told and he enters the chamber where there's this guy on a throne waving a baby rattle around. This must have been THE KING on his throne. So Lewa got out his camera (well, he stole it from Tahu) and took a picture of him freaking out. Then he went up to talk to him.*

The King: Why'd you just take my picture?! Are you some sort of papparazzi?!

Lewa: No.

The King: I haven't seen your face before. Are you visiting? Usually, I don't allow the likes of you in my chamber, but today is totally different. We're about to punish the monkey responsible for Toa Lhikan's demise!

Lewa: Uh…

The King: Oh, I mean, the monkey responsible for the kidnapping of out princess!

Lewa: Princess?

The King: Yes. He stole her…

Lewa: Uh, sure… Listen, I'll be right back.

The King: Oh, sure, go one ahead.

*Lewa went over to the monkey's cage and he managed to squeeze his way in.*

Monkey: They keep saying that I kidnapped her. No matter how many times they say it, it's not going to bring her back! If they're not careful, she'll fall victim to a monster!

Lewa: Hey, monkey, I'm Lewa and this is Navi.

Tatl: Tatl!

Lewa: We're going to rescue you.

Monkey: How did you get in here? Nevermind, they'll capture you if they see you. Just cut the rope, we'll talk after that!

Lewa: Okay. *He takes his sword and hacks at the ropes, but no use.*

Monkey: No good after all. You don't have anything that can make noise, like an instrument?

Lewa: I do, actually. *He takes out his ocarina.*

Monkey: Eh… Not good enough. You have anything else?

Lewa: No… I might as well put this on so they don't see me… *At that moment, though, that tiny little ocarina became the Deku pipes.*

Monkey: Oh, you have them, like the princess! Deku pipes! Those will work fine! Who are you??

Lewa: I'm the Hero of Time.

Monkey: Look, I was trying to find out about the poison in the swamp at Woodfall Temple.

Lewa: so that's why the water is nasty-dirty…

Monkey: Yeah, but the temple became a monster's lair, and the princess got captured by it. Since that old king thinks I kidnapped his daughter, he won't listen to a thing I say. Some's got to hurry and save her.

Lewa: Okay, that makes sense.

Monkey: So you'll go in my place to save the princess?

Lewa: I dunno.

Monkey: I'll teach you the melody that opens the temple. The princess taught it to me.

*The monkey starts to hoot in the tune of the Sonata of Awakening. Lewa follows along with his Deku pipes and thus he learned the Sonata of Awakening. However, the Deku King heard this song and got angry.*

Lewa: Okay, I got it. Now how do we get out of here?

Tatl: You got me.

Lewa: Does Lord of shadows know?

Tatl: Please, the only thing he's good for is making references to songs no one has heard and making references to bad jokes.

The King: Did you hear that? The melody, that only the Royal Family is meant to know… It only proves the monkey tricked the princess so he could enter the temple! Let the monkey's trial begin!

Lewa: Uh… Is this okay, mommy?

The King: He stole a joke… and did it badly! Arrest him!

*At his orders, the guards arrest him.*

Lewa: Ow, my kidneys...

*Lewa was just captured by the Deku Palace guards after trying to help out an innocent monkey accused of kidnapping a princess… this almost sounds like a Mario game. Now, though…*

Lewa: I'm innocent, I tell you!

Tatl: Shut it, you moron.

The King: You'll get what's coming to you, joke stealer, but don't panic for although the crime of joke stealing is a heinous one indeed, we'd be nothing without our fair and just judicial system.

Lewa: Oh, okay.

The King: Now for the monkey's trial… Dunk the monkey!

Guards: Dunk the monkey!

*The monkey, being hung from a rope, was lowered into a pot of boiling water.*

Lewa: What was that for?!

The King: He kidnapped our princess!

Tat: How are you really sure it was the monkey? This is just a misunderstanding!

The King: Well, because you see in my youth, I tried to steal a snack before dinner, and my mother caught me and said, "That's enough of that… monkey business." So whenever anything is stolen or kidnapped, then it must have been a monkey.

*And don't worry, the monkey isn't dead, he's still alive, but he just got dunked.*

Tatl: You sure it doesn't have anything to do with the monsters?

The King: Silly fairy, who ever heard of monster business?

Lewa: Okay, so this princess everyone's going on about… She's supposed to be a princess of plants?

The King: Well, if anything she looks a little like me with a dress.

Tatl: Save it, we've lost him.

Lewa: Okay, I'll do it!

Monkey: Thank you…

The King: Really? You'll go save her?

Lewa: Yes, but promise me you won't dunk the monkey.

Guards: Dunk the monkey!

*The monkey, being hung from a rope, was lowered into a pot of boiling water.*

The King: You fools, you're only supposed to say that when I say "Dunk the monkey!"

Guards: Dunk the monkey!

*The monkey, being hung from a rope, was lowered into a pot of boiling water.*

Tatl: Would you two stop saying that?

The King: Saying what?

Lewa: Yeah, what?

Tatl: Saying "Dunk the monkey!"

Guards: Dunk the monkey!

*The monkey, being hung from a rope, was lowered into a pot of boiling water.*

Lewa: Navi, that was just cruel-mean!

The King: I concur.

Tatl: I hate you both so much right now…

*So after Lewa and Tatl left the Royal Chamber, they set off to go and find wherever the temple the monkey was talking about was, but so far they weren't having a whole lot of luck… They walked out into the rain and they were getting hopelessly lost with every step they took… And that's when he came out of nowhere.*

Kaepora Gaebora: Hoot hoot.

*If you wanted a moment of ultra-creepiness, this would be that perfect moment, staring up at a big bird with an angry chicken face in the dark while the rain pours down on the two of you as the thunder roars and the lightning flashes before your eyes. I'm trying to sound like Nathaniel Hawthorne, but not succeeding obviously. The bird stood over our hero with his angry chicken eyes piercing into his soul as if to look deep into his heart and search for his inner most darkest secrets. His sharp talons clung onto the--*

Tatl: all right, we get it already!

Lewa, sarcastic: Well, look who decided to show up.

Tatl: You know this bird?

Lewa: Know him? I was tortured by him telling a story about Taylor Swift.

Kaepora Gaebora: This is a rare sight.

Lewa: I wish I could say the same for you.

Kaepora Gaebora: You are a Toa, correct?

Lewa: Yeah, what's it to you?

Kaepora Gaebora: What business may you have in the poisoned swamp?

Lewa: I'm going to buy some bedazzled-jewelry for people I know. Now shove over and don't tell your useless long-stories to me.

Kaepora Gaebora: If you dare not venture further, I will pass no further judgment.

Chirox: You got judged!

Lewa: Who are you?! And why are you judging me?!

Kaepora Gaebora: This reminds me of a story…

Lewa: Oh, no, not that, anything but that!

Kaepora Gaebora: This reminds me of back when I was just a little hatchling who didn't know how to fly.

Lewa: Well, now you can fly, so I'm going to the temple now, hero-gallant style, and save the princess, so bye and good riddance!

*Lewa flies off as fast as his jets can take him and through the rain he eventually finds the temple. Remembering what the monkey told him, he landed and had no choice but to be a Deku scrub again and play the Sonata of Awakening to enter the temple.*

Tatl: Okay, so now what?

*In the irony of her words, the temple begins to rise from the poisoned water, slowly but steadily, and now Lewa would be able to go inside.*

Lewa: Does that answer your question?

Tatl: Yeah, pretty much.

Lewa: Good. Then let's get inside!

*They crossed their way to the birdge and made it inside of the temple, which was filled with a great many things mostly involving platnlife gone wild (this is why you must always take good care of your plants, kids) and mutant frogs who rode atop of turles.*

Tatl: What's with this frog?

Lewa: He's gone mad!

*Yes, he truly, madly, deeply was mad, in the fact that he moved in a way most erratic and crazed through the air. Lewa fired his Midak Skyblaster at him to calm him down once he took down his turtle mount.*

Lewa: Mission accomplished!

Tatl: Somehow I don't think that was the monster the monkey was talking about.

Lewa: What makes you say that?

*Just then, the floor gives away and Lewa somehow ends up in the boss chamber.*

Odolwa: So, you have managed to discover where we were hiding the princess…

Lewa: Hmm… jungle man.

Odolwa: Well, this information is no longer relevant, for you will die at the blade of me… Masked Jungle Warrior Odolwa!

Lewa: Great, okay, so Odd-balla, can we have the princess?

Odolwa: My name is Odolwa! And no, you can't have her!

Lewa: So you're the boss? But you're just a guy with a sword and a shield, not a huge-insane monster with great power.

Odolwa: That's because I know all about you… Hero of Time!

Lewa, gasp: My secret identity's been revealed! Curse you, Otto van Buren!

Odolwa: For the last time, it's Odolwa! And I want to be the very best, like no one ever was.

Lewa: I'm not a Pokemon! You can't throw-capture me in a Pokeball or anything!

Odolwa: This shall be an honorable fight between two swordsman, for men who fight without honor are lower than the lowest of the lowerest of the low.

Tatl: There's no word "lowerest."

Odolwa: It is in my book! Now, then, Hero of Time, let us get to fighting.

Lewa: Surprise bomb blast!

Odolwa: Wait, what--?!

*Lewa takes a barrage of bombs and throws them at Odolwa, defeating him and causing the chamber to explode.*

Odolwa, as he dies: Cheap-shot…

[Lewa0111 Nuva]

Great latest chapter! (I read the others a while ago but wasn't able to comment because I was in a hurry, sorry! I barely have time to write my own comedies anymore ) Anyway, my favorite part was the random NCS reference and the king's reaction/punishment for it. Also the constant mispronunciation of Odolwa's name. Great work!

Can't wait to see what you do with Snowhead!

Lewa0111 Nuva

[ShadowBionics]

Great latest chapter! (I read the others a while ago but wasn't able to comment because I was in a hurry, sorry! I barely have time to write my own comedies anymore ) Anyway, my favorite part was the random NCS reference and the king's reaction/punishment for it. Also the constant mispronunciation of Odolwa's name. Great work!

Can't wait to see what you do with Snowhead!

Lewa0111 Nuva

No, that's all right, I understand. I'm in a hurry myself. I stay on here just long enough to post up the next chapter before I either leave or go to another part of the forum because I have spare time. Wow, I'm surprised you recognized the reference. He and chuggaa are mentioned and appear in the original edit. Although since their humor is sort of.. you know... I don't mention them by name. The Deku king was one of my favorite characters in that chapter. Then again, he seems like one of those ignorant kind of rulers in the game.

Well, we will be getting to Snowhead in a few more chapters or so. I think if I keep combining chapters now and again, it might speed up the process. This case, here is chapter 7 combined with chapter 8. Oddly, since they're mostly kind of short (at least compared to the chapters of Twilight Delinquent), I think this will work out better.



*Moments after Lewa somehow managed to defeat Odolwa, a magic exit appeared and inside of it was a mask that looked like the one Odolwa wore before he died.*

Lewa: It's a magic exit! I never thought I'd see one of these again.

*Lewa ran into the magic exit and picked up Odolwa's mask, and the moment he did, he was teleported to a strange, magical place where it looked like someone was using too much bubble bath and it overflowed.*

Lewa: Great! The magic exit killed me! But now... I'm in heaven.

Tatl: You're not dead, dimwit. When you die, there'll be more fire and brimstone.

Lewa: Why would I end up at an industrial park?

Tatl, groans: You're hopeless. But that still leaves the question of where we are.

Lewa: I guess now I'll have to make do with my new ghostly form.

Tatl: A normal person would be concerned if they were dead.

Lewa: Well, I've got big plans... very big plans... *raises eyebrows.*

Tatl: Like that?

Lewa: You know, ghost stuff. Like scare-haunting people to make them give me money.

Tatl: Stop being such a freak and show some actual concern here!

Giant #1: Hey, what's going on out there? Can't a giant take a giant bubble bath in peace?!

Lewa: It's Mata Nui! And he let himself go!

Giant #1: What? I'm not Mata Nui, you dunce bucket! I'm a guardian giant.

Lewa: Guardian giant?

Tatl: That's right. There are four giants who watch over all of Alma Nui.

Lewa: Then can I be blunt? You're doing a crud-job.

Giant #1: What?!

Lewa: Well, yeah. Alma Nui's full of monsters, dogs are living with cats, horses are wearing people's clothes...

Tatl: Babies driving vehicles.

Lewa: The Happy Mask Salesman hasn't been institutionalized, monkeys are getting dunked, Michael Cena is still acting... Alma Nui is a complete and total nightmare.

*Back in Alma Nui...*

Natalie: Wow, who knew this place would have such a great shopping center? *laughs.* I could almost live here if I wanted to!

*Back... wherever Lewa and Tatl are...*

Giant #1: Oh, this is just great! I leave the office for just one day and already everything is going down in flames! This is the only day off I get in 1,000 years, and now I have to spend it fixing everything?! I haven't even had a bath in 1,000 years, and have you ever smelled a giant that hasn't bathed in 1,000 years?

Lewa: No, and I don't want to.

Tatl: So you'll help us?

Giant #1: Okay, I'll help you... wait a minute. Why should I have to go back to work before everyone else? I'm not moving unless you can get the other three to do the same.

Lewa: The other three?

Giant #1: Yes, my fellow co-workers. Don't worry, to get to them all you have to do is climb up a mountain, swim through a deep ocean, and then climb up a bigger mountain. From there, just go to the temples and free them.

Lewa: Other... three temples?

Tatl: Okay then.

Giant #1: If you can do that, then I will help you

Lewa: Other... three temples?

Giant #1: After that, then you may call us when you need us.

Lewa: Other... three temples?

Tatl: Would you be quiet?!

Giant #1: Here's my card. *The giant tosses over a small business card, and on it was the Oath to Order printed on it.* Use it wisely.

Lewa: Okay, sure-fine.

Giant #1: Now if you'll excuse me... *As the giant goes back to return to his bath, Lewa and Tatl are teleported back somewhere within the Woodfall temple.*

Lewa: Who's idea was it to give every weirdo a temple?

Lord of shadows: Don't look at me, I'm just the one spoofing the stuff.

Tatl: It's not that big of a deal, get over it. We don't have any other choice in this.

Lewa: He's an even worse guardian than Mata Nui was!

Deku Princess: Uh, excuse me? Is someone there?

*Lewa and Tatl turned around to see a small alcove covered by plantlife, where the small voice they heard was coming from.*

Lewa: Oh, yeah, I almost forogt about her! Don't worry, Lewa, the Hero of Time is here to rescue you… from whatever you need rescuing from.

*Lewa hacks the plants with his sword and rushes into the alcove, expecting a cute princess-type of girl. Instead… he gets a kind of cute plant-girl...*

Lewa:

*Insert sound of glass breaking.*

Deku Princess: What was that?

Tatl: The sound of his mind being broken.

Deku Princess: Okay. So you're… a hero? You're here to save me? By chance did the moneky ask you to save me?

Lewa, shaky voice: Y-y-y-yes he did, as matter-fact.

Deku Princess: Just as I suspected, your body smells a little like monkey.

Lewa: I knew I should have brought deoderant.

Deku Princess: So the moneky made it out okay. That's good.

Lewa: Yeah, about that…

Deku Princess: I was worried than when I didn't come home, my father would think the moneky kidnapped me or something. I was worried he'd even go as far as to punish the poor thing.

Lewa: Yeah… he is. He's getting bungie-dunked in boiling water as we speak.

Deku Princess: Say what?! Don't tell me… are you serious?!

Lewa: If I'm lying, I'm dying.

*Tatl groans.*

Deku Princess: He's doing that? Yet another hasty decision, father!

*Then she gets all pouty (she looks cute when she's pouty) and then makes some angry squealy noises.*

Deku Princess: We don't have any time to lose! Quickly, Mr. Lewa, get something to carry me back to the Deku Palace!

Tatl: Yeah, let's see if we can find some sort of carriage or chair or--

*Lewa scoops the princess inside of a bottle and holds it up towards the audience/readers.*

Lewa: Is this okay, mommy?

Tatl: Why did you do that?

Lewa: She says we haven't time to lose.

Tatl: No, I mean use that stupid joke again?

Lewa: Who's going to arrest-stop me, the Joke Police?

Deku Princess: Hurry, Mr. Lewa, take me to the palace!

*Meanwhile, as Lewa and Tatl were racing back to the Deku Palace, the Deku King was still going with the monkey's "trial."*

Guard 1: Your majesty! Are you sure we should be doing this?

Deku King: Don't be so silly. The monkey's having a great time over there, swaying back and forth and back and forth and-- wait, is he trying to hypnotize me? He is! In that case, Dunk the--

*That moment, Lewa (wearing the Deku Mask) came in with the bottle in hand.*

Lewa: Hey, king, we found your daughter. Here you go. *He takes the bottle and dumps the princess out. Oh, yeah, that's really gentlemen-like, dump her out on the floor like that, why don't you?*

Deku King: Oh, my princess! You've returned!

Deku Princess, angrily: Father...

*In an instant, she then runs as if there were a fire and she proceeds to knock over her father, jumping up and down on him. Yeah! Bounce on him! That's right! Stick to your father! Show him he can't just push us children around! We're not going to take it! The guards were cowering in fear as they watched the princess unleash her fury on the king. When she was done, she turned around and faced the guards, all of which looked at her in fear. And the Deku Butler just stood there.*

Deku Princess: What are you standing around for, you fools?! Release that poor monkey this instant!

*The guards do as they are told and Deku Butler just stands there because he doesn't care. She then runs right back to Lewa in the same fashion as earlier.*

Lewa: Where's the fire at?

Deku Princess: In your eyes, sugar.

Lewa: Uh... Huh.

Deku Princess: Oh, Mr. Monkey, I am truly sorry. Father does rash things when he's worried about me.

Monkey: I understand, forget about that. The temple's been returned to normal?

Deku Princess: Why, yes... thanks to Mr. Lewa over here...

*She eyes him in a sort of odd manner... moving on.*

Deku Princess: I am truly grateful.

Monkey: Really, that's so awesome. I bow before your greatness. *The monkey bows before Deku Lewa, and Lewa does the same, but not all the way.*

Deku Princess, flirting: So... Mr. Lewa... will you be staying much longer?

Lewa: Not really, I have a sad-moon to stop before this weird-freak drops it on all of us.

Deku Princess: Okay. Be sure to drop anytime you'd like! Really...

Lewa: I'm going going to quick-run now.

Deku Butler: Hello there, sir. I am Deku Butler.

Lewa: Is that your real name?

Deku Butler: Yes.

Lewa: Okay, just checking.

Deku Butler: When I look at you, I am reminded of my son, who left for New York years ago. If you can make it there, you'll make it anywhere... those were the words of Alicia Keys.

Lewa: And what does that to do with anything?

Deku Butler: Nothing, I just wanted to stir some idle conversation. Here, take this pig mask that makes you look like a pig.

*Thus Lewa got the Mask of Scents.*

Lewa: Okay... thanks?

*Lewa takes off in one of his signature sprints as Tatl tries her best to keep up. Yeah, she wasn't as fast as Navi was in keeping up with him, but what can you do? Once he was nearing the outside, he took off the Deku Mask to return to his normal self. Lewa managed to get out of the swamp area and found himself outside of the Milk Road, which was mostly blocked off by a large boulder.*

Lewa: Strange. Why's a boulder in the path?

Tatl: Maybe there was a rock slide...

Lewa: Or maybe this was foul-play. And the culprit behind this has to be... Red Herring!

Tatl: Stop referencing TV shows that were cancelled in the 90's, most of our readers won't understand them!

*So then Lewa decided to leave since there wasn't anything he could do. He went back into Clock Town and he met back up with Natalie, who looked like she just finished with a public affair... If you understand that reference, then I feel so bad right now.*

Lewa: There you are!

Natalie: Oh, hi. Just finished up scoping out this place. They've got some nice little shops and these really cool places to hang out at.

Lewa: That's good. I just finished the swamp, now we have to go to the mountain.

Natalie: Hmm. Okay, I think I'll tag along.

Lewa: You sure?

Natalie: Why not? I like climbing. It's some good exercise. *laughs.*

*As Lewa, Tatl, and Natalie were getting ready to go for the mountains, the sun started to set and then on a lone rock in the distance, appeared this really scary man who looks like he should have been dead.*

Kamaro: I am no longer a part of the living... My sadness to the moon... I haven't left my dance to the world... I am filled with regret.

Lewa: What?

Natalie: I am disappointed, oh moon, I have died!

Tatl: What?

Natalie: What? You don't understand what he's saying?

Lewa: I guess I don't. He sounds like a fortune cookie. Or like Shakespeare in the forest. "Does thou mother knoweth you dance in a manner so heinous?"

Kamaro: Oh, I planned to bring the world together and stir it into a giant melting pot with my dance. If only I had taught my new dance to someone.

Lewa: I wanna hit this guy right now.

Natalie: Wait... this is just a shot in the dark, but... what if all he needs is some soul mending?

Lewa: Wait, don't we know something like that? *He takes out his ocarina.* Navi, the Song of Healing!

Tatl: It's Tatl! And what do you mean?

Lewa: I'll play the music, you sing the lyrics!

Tatl: What?! But I-- *groans.*

*Lewa begins to play the song and Tatl begins to sing along with it.*

Tatl: Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake... Shake your... whole self.

*The song's properties then began to work on Kamaro, and it seemed to have done the trick as Natalie suggested.*

Kamaro: Spread my dance across the world, train its followers.

Natalie: I've taught it to you, now make it a popular dance craze.

Lewa: Oh, now I get it.

*And thus Lewa got Kamaro's Mask.*

Kamaro: I'm counting on you.

Natalie: I'm counting on you.

*So Kamaro disappears and Lewa is left to stare at the new mask.*

Tatl: So what does this one do?

Lewa, put it on: I don't know.

Natalie: You look like a loon or something. *laughs.*

Lewa: I feel funny. *That's when he begins to break into dance.*

George Michael's voice, singing: And I'm never going to dance again, guilty feelings, got no rhythm...

*So by using this mask, Lewa apparently gained the ability to dance while playing George Michael's songs. I guess that's... sort of useful. I think?*

Tatl: Can we head up that mountain now?

Natalie: Unless you'd rather goof around some more and do some of those fancy side quests I've heard about.

Lewa, stops: How do you know?

Natalie: I read the game strategy guide. *embarassed laugh* I'm surprised the author hasn't covered everything you can do yet at this point.

Lewa: I'm scale-climbing this mountain.

Tatl: I guess those jets are just for show?

*Lewa looked at her blankly and then looked on either side of him at his jets, obviously having forgotten them since the last time.*

Lewa: That works, too.

Edited by ShadowBionics, Aug 07 2012 - 10:41 PM.

[ShadowBionics]

here is chapter 9, which I think is about a good length. Plus I don't want the chapters to get too lengthy.


*It took a while, but eventually Tatl, Lewa, and Natalie made it up to the Mountain Village, where it was awfully cold, and I mean COLD.*

Natalie, dressed warmly: Wow, it's a bit cool up here, isn't it?

Tatl: Yes. But hopefully now nothing can stop us from getting back to the plot.

*Lewa collapses into the snow, unmoving.*

Tatl: What are you doing?

Lewa: I'm freeze-dying here! No one told me it'd be this cold up here!

Tatl: Oh, no, you're not! And besides, the place was covered in snow! What did you think it's be like up here?

*So Tatl beats him in his kidneys (I get the feeling he might be losing those in the future) and forced him to get up. As Lewa took another step forawrd, his adaptive armor that was so underused in the original storyline took effect and changed so he was better suited for the cold environment.*

Lewa: Wow, talk about a convenient plot device!

Lord of shadows: It had so much potential... yet Lego hardly did anything with it.

Kaepora Gaebora: Yes... that's the spirit.

All 3: O_O

Kaepora Gaebora: Now then, allow me to--

Lewa: Quick-run!

*The three of our protagonists flee from the creepy bird as fast as they can.*

Kaepora Gaebora: Why don't people like me? Hoot hoot.

*Later on, the three of them were out of breath as they stopped their running.*

Lewa: Stupid mountain... stupid bird... stupid cold...

Tatl: It's not like you to whine. We're almost to the village up ahead, you can warm yourself up there.

Natalie: That's good to know. Who lives there anyway?

Tatl: It's mostly Onu-Matoran and Toa.

Lewa: O_O No... NO!

Tatl: What's wrong now?

Lewa: Don't you remember?

*Flashback.*

Whenua: Party party party! Party party party!

*End flashback.*

Tatl: I'm not Navi! So I wouldn't know anything about your fear of Onu-Matoran or anything of the sort!

Lewa: Well... it's a different clan of Onu-Matoran... maybe it won't be so bad... as long as I don't see their party head-honcho of theirs again.

Natalie: Sounds like a fun guy. *laughs.* Must be a real live wire, then, huh?

Tatl: Uh... what's that behind you?

*Lewa and Natalie turn around and in the irony of Natalie's words, they see the dead form of Toa Whenua floating right behind them.*

Whenua's ghost: Hi.

*Natalie screamed and fell backward.*

Lewa: Now you're making a come back?! Okay, kill me if you must, but don't start partying!

Whenua's ghost: Why would I do that? I hate to party!

Lewa: Why?

Whenua's ghost: It was a party that claimed my life.

Natalie: Wait, how can a party claim your life exactly?

Whenua's ghost: There are a few ways, actually. Dance until you die... that's how I died.

Natalie: So when did this become a Katy Perry fest? *laughs*

Lewa: So what do you do now?

Whenua's ghost: I haunt people now.

Lewa: Lucky... I was so close to being a ghost to have that snatched-taken from me! Now I'll never get to haunt what I want!

Whenua's ghost: Shut up! No one understands me! I'm going to run away, back to my grave!

*So the deaceased Toa starts to flee from our protagonists.*

Lewa: Wow, he got more depressed than Vakama.

Vakama: It's all my fault I'm depressed.

Natalie, getting up: Be quiet! You're a disgrace to people with accents everywhere! Now then, I think we should follow him.

Lewa: I guess it's up to me to help him cross-over to the otherside.

Tatl: What makes you think you're an expert?

Lewa: It worked for that dancer guy, it'll work for him, too.

Tatl: Why do I have the feeling something stupid is going to happen?

Turaga Vakama, narrating: As the Toa made their way through the snow, Lewa was sure--

Lewa: Wrong movie. Wait... how can we have young Vakama and old man Vakama? It's a time-glitch!

Tatl: Just ignore it, you'll live longer.

*So ignoring Vakama, Lewa followed the ghost of Whenua up to a grave where a hot spring was said to be. But of course there was only a lone grave with no hot spring. The trio then spotted the ghost sulking around in the corner and complaining about how no one understands him.*

Whenua's ghost: What do you want?

Lewa: I'm here to heal your soul and find inner peace.

Whenua's ghost: Just leave, no one like you could ever heal my tortured soul.

Lewa: That's where you're wrong! Ready?

*Lewa takes out the ocarina and begins to play the Song of Healing.*

Tatl: Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake. Shake your... whole-self.

*Whenua then begins to feel weird and he begins to sway back and forth.*

Whenua's ghost: I feel strange... what's going on...?

*Inside Whenua's mind, he was alive once again, standing before his people and fellow archivists. They were all smiling at him, cheering him on and looking at him with admiration.*

Bomonga: Dance dance dance dance dance dance...!

*Whenua did not know what to say... but he was feeling much better than he did before... he no longer felt emo and angry at the world. He was actually... happy.*

Whenua: I... I do like to party. Thank you, little hero... I can pass over to the other side...

*However, this monet is cut short when he throws up his arms in pain and he turns into sparklies.*

Whenua: Noooo! I don't want to be sparklies!

*With his spirit healed, Whenua was finaly able to pass over. Then in a bright flash, his spirit vanished and al lthat remained was his Kanohi Mask.*

Lewa: It worked! I'm a such a great person...

Whenua's ghost, faintly: I'm stuck inside this mask! Help me!

Natalie: Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves now.

*And thus Lewa got Whenua's Mask... but what did it do exactly?*

Lewa: I wonder if...?

*He puts on the mask, and like the transformation mask before it, it began to take him over until Lewa closed his eyes and let out a painful scream. Then in a matter of moments, the Toa of air with his adaptive armor was replaced with--*

Lewa: My body is so... rock-hard and strong... My armor's all tough and black... and I've got this beard! I must be like... Chuck Norris or something!

Tatl: I think you're exaggerating.

Natalie: Okay then, Mr. Strong man, why don't you test your strength if you so confident? *laughs.*

Lewa: Okay, I will. *He goes behind Whenua's grave and pushes it. Moment he does, hot spring water starts flowing up and filling the chasym.*

Natalie: Well, good enough for me.

*Lewa wades through the water and take a bottle and catches some of the water in it. He proceeds to hold it up towards the audience.*

Lewa: Is this okay, mommy?

Tatl: Are you going to keep doing that every time you put something in a bottle?

Lewa: Yeah, kind of.

*Without his jets, Lewa could not fly down, so he had to go down the old fashioned way. Natalie had to get on his back as well, considering she had flown upwards with Lewa to begin with.*

Tehutti: Ah! It's a ghost! Wait... Whenua?! Are you alive?

Lewa: Uh...

Mavrah: We're sorry, we thought you were dead, we didn't mean to bury you alive!

Lewa: Well...

Tehutti: Or was it because we buried you over the hot spring water and you came back to life?!

Lewa: Sure... let's go with that.

Tatl: Wait, so...

Lewa, whispering: They must think I'm Whenua since I'm wearing this mask.

Tatl: What are you getting at...?

Lewa, imitating Whenua: Look, guys, it's been a real blast, but if you'll excuse me, I must go party now.

Tatl: Seriously, what kind of hero are you?

Lewa: One of a kind.

Mavrah: Okay. Before you do, you might wanna check out the village. Bad stuff's been going down?

Lewa, as Whenua: Did they steal the karaoke machine again?

Tehutti: No, worse. There's this brat who won't stop crying. Worse yet is our patriarch has gone missing, so the brat won't shut up. We can't find him anywhere.

Lewa, as Whenua: In that case... I'll have to decline partying and get to the bottom of this myself.

Tehutti: Thanks, Whenua. It's no wonder everyone likes you so much.

[ShadowBionics]

Here is chapter 10, also a decent length. Since this chapter was written in 2010, there might be some dated jokes.

*Posing as Whenua, Lewa was able to go around the pseudo Onu-Metru village (which was more like Ko-Metru if you ask me) as if nothing. Now that he was one of them, Lewa seemed to slowly be conquering his fear.*

Tatl: So shouldn't we be trying to head to that village now?

Lewa: Oh, don't worry, I'm sure we'll be-- *Lewa then rammed into a boulder of snow… which wasn't a boulder at all once the snow fell off!*

Natalie: I've heard of being frozen alive, but this sure takes the cake. *laughs.*

*Natalie wasn't kidding, as there was a frozen Turaga of Earth trapped in the ice.*

Lewa: Well, that's a cry-shame. Most strange to get stuck in a bunch of ice.

Tatl: Say, what about that hot spring water you got back at the grave?

Lewa: I dunno, it's crazy, but… *Lewa gets his bottle and dumps it on the ice, and like Tatl said, it actually worked!*

Turaga Zaida: Huh?! Where am I? Get away from me, you Canadians!

Lewa: But I'm not from Canada.

Natalie: But I've been there, it's not a bad place at all.

Zaida: Huh? Oh, Whenua, it's just you! Say, aren't you supposed to be dead?

Lewa: Yeah, but I'm not!

Zaida: Ah, that's the spirit, nothing can keep us down! I like that about you. Now it's off to go battle the hounds of the Baskerville!

Natalie: Is it me or is he completely mad?

Lewa, as Whenua: Sorry to stop your… battle, but the others say that this brat won't stop crying because you disappeared.

Zaida: What?? Okay, I'm coming! *He takes his staff and slowly starts to walk.*

Lewa: You want me to help you?

Zaida: Don't touch me, you old scaloot! *He tries walking some more, but he stops and starts panting, out of breath.* Oh, it's no use! I don't even remember the lullaby.

Lewa: Lullaby?

Zaida: Yes, our very special one. You used to like it, too. *Zaida takes out a drum and places it on the ground.*

Natalie: You play it on a drum?

Zaida: Is there any other way?

Natalie: Yes, in fact, I'm a singer actually.

Zaida: Uh... how does it go again? *He plays a few notes and then...* I can't remember the blasted song! I know, I'll teach you the beginning!

Lewa: Well, if you say so... *He reaches for his ocarina, but instead he takes out a monster drum set.*

Natalie: Now I've seen everything... skinny guys turn into bulky brutes and ocarinas turn into giant drums. *laughs* Will the wonder of life ever cease to amaze me?

*So Zaida and Lewa have a little "jam session" and Lewa gains the lullaby… the beginning of it at least.*

Zaida: Okay then… I'm coming, Elizabeth! *He falls over and goes to sleep.*

Lewa: Some help you were. Okay, now I got to find this whiny-brat and put him to sleep.

Natalie: How? You only have the beginning of the lullaby.

Lewa: Maybe I can wing it or something.

Tatl: Hopefully we can get some information on the temple while we're at it.

Lewa, snaps fingers: Oh, yeah, almost forgot about that.

*So Lewa, Tatl, and the warmly dressed Natalie make their way into the Onu-Matoran village. They weren't even inside the main dwelling, but they could already hear the loud crying.*

Tatl: Whoever this kid is, he can wail, and I mean that.

Natalie: No wonder they can't stand it! I wasn't sure if it was a child crying or an air raid siren!

Lewa: I'd rather it be an air raid siren!

*Lewa pounded down the door and went inside. He climbed to the highest room in the tallest tower and made it to where Zaida's… son was, as well as a bunch of Onu-Matoran covering their ears.*

Onepu: How much longer can he cry for?! My ears can't take it!

Garan: Don't look at me! I wanted to lock him inside a glass, sound-proof tube!

Onepu: Whenua! Do you have any ideas?!

Lewa, as Wenua: As a matter of fact, I do. *He takes out his drums and begins to play the beginning of the lullaby. The kid stops crying for a moment.*

Zaida's Son: That song… my dad used to play it for me every night… That's just the beginning, though.

Tatl: Yeah, we sort of established that.

Zaida's Son: I know the rest. *That's when he sings out the rest of the song. Lewa catches on and uses the drums to play the entire song. And that's when not only the spoiled brat falls asleep, but so do the other Onu-Matoran.*

Natalie: Well, that's the end of that chapter. *laughs*

Tatl: Not quite yet, we still have to get to that temple.

*Lewa looked outside and found a sign pointing to the temple, so he followed it there. When he got there, a furious blizzard was brewing.*

Lewa: What's with the gust-cold?!

Giant Mantax: That would be me… Mantax… I am the guardian of this temple, and I say none shall pass.

Lewa: He already seems smarter than the Mantax back home.

Giant Mantax: And I refuse to let anyone pass… not even… *He looks down at Lewa through his bad eyesight…* Ah! It's Chuck Norris! I'm so sorry, Mr. Norris! I didn't mean to make you mad!

Lewa: Uh…

Natalie: His eyesight must be so bad, he can't tell the difference between anything. *laughs* Need some glasses?

Lewa: Uh... Yeah! Don't make me come up there and give you a good roundhouse kick to the face!

Giant Mantax: No!

Lewa: Surprise drum attack! *He plays the lullaby and then a few seconds later, the giant Mantax falls asleep, curls up into a ball, and falls to his death.*

Natalie: Wow, that was cold… And I just realized we're in a snowy mountain. So I just made a pun. *laughs* Oh, wow, these are some crazy times we're living in right now.

Lewa: At least now we can get into the temple.

*The trio eventually made it into temple and eventually the boss chamber.*

Lewa: It's easy to go through here, especially since the monsters are as near-sighted as Mantax… they think I'm Chuck Norris!

Tatl: I don't see how. You don't even look anything like him! The beard, maybe, but… just no!

Natalie: Oh, look, something's frozen in the ice. Is that the boss you were talking about?

Lewa: All right, the boss is frozen! So just give me what I want and we'll be on out way.

Tatl: I honestly don't think it'll be that simple. Maybe since he's frozen, we can break the ice so he'll shatter.

Lewa: Or I can shoot him with a fire arrow so he'll melt!

Tatl: What? No!

*But her word of warning came too late and Lewa fired a fire arrow from his recovered bow and arrow set... icebreaker. In a matter of moments, the masked mechanical monster Goht roars to life and goes on a rampage.*

Natalie: I've had my share of mechanical bulls, but this takes the cake. I mean, it even has a license plate on it! What's that say...?

Lewa: No matter! I'm going to take on that thing!

*So he imitates Whenua and rolls up into a ball like he did in those 2004 promo things for the Toa Metru and goes after him. Goht is very fast for a monster on a rampage and Lewa is barely able to keep up. But he doesn't have to because like 45 seconds later, Goht crashes into a wall due to faulty breaks.*

Tatl: What just happened?

Natalie: He must have faulty breaks. *laughs.* Some monster, can't even break for a wall.

Lewa, changed back to normal: Whatever, if anyone asks, I did that to him. Now let's go for the magic exit and claim our prize!

*The trio makes for the magic exit and they end up in one of those bubble bath places like before.*

Natalie: Are we in heaven?!

Tatl: You wanna tell her or you want me to?

Natalie: Did someone leave the bubble bath going too long?

Lewa: Oh, come on, we're in the same place as before! What a rip-off! All that work to go in a round-about back here!

Giant #2: Hi, there.

Lewa: Oh, and here's the same giant as before!

Giant #2, hurt: But... I've never met you before. Are you saying all giants look the same to you?

Lewa: What?! No, no, I didn't mean that! It's just that--

Giant #2: You hate me! You're mean, I hate you.

Lewa: No, please, we need your help to save Alma Nui!

Giant #2: Then go save the other two giants.

Lewa: Oh, come on!

Giant #2: I don't want to work with a hater, is that a problem?

Lewa: I'm not a hater!

Giant #2: Hater. Go get the others, then we'll see.

*Just back in the mountains, the snows start to melt away and the Onu-Maotran are able to come out again, free from the cold and that spoiled brat. In a matter of moments, it was as though it became spring and all the grass and plants were spurring back to life. Even the birds were chirping happily and the frogs were swimming in the water that was no longer frozen.*

[ShadowBionics]

Chapter 11 and 12. Thought it was time to mix it up with another lengthy chapter. Plus it did take me a while to put the last one up, so might as well make up for lost time.



*After meeting with the next giant, the trio is teleported back outside, where already everything was returning to harmony, the birds are singing. Isn't it beautiful? And now I'm quoting the evil genie. Lewa's armor returned back to its previous state as he observed their new surroundings.*

Lewa: I'm not a hater!

Natalie: Whatever you say.

Tatl: Okay, so what now?

Lewa: Why don't we go with some of those fancy side quests? I need to ease-calm my mind after that encounter.

Natalie, with strategy guide: Well, you've got a lot of options open at this point. I'd say we head back to town first and then we'll see.

Lewa: Got it.

Tingle: Hey, down here!

Tatl: O_O No... no, not him, anyone but him!

Natalie: Who?

Tatl: He's so creepy and so weird...

Lewa: Who?

Tatl: Mata Nui, have mercy on us!

Natalie: Who are you talking about?

Tingle: TIN-GLLLLLE!

*They all look up and see a strange weirdo dressed like Peter Pan, floating from a balloon.*

Tatl: Not Tingle!

Lewa: He's got a fancy outfit.

Natalie: Are you mad? His underpants are on the outside of his leotards!

Lewa: I like green.

Tingle: Help me! Get me down from here!

Lewa: Why are you up there, anyway?

*2 hours later...*

Tingle: And then my father--

Lewa: Stop! Your story makes my ears bleed!

Tingle: You'll get me down now?

Lewa: No! If anything, You're going to stay stuck there!

Tingle: Get me down! If you don't, I'll charge your descendants a fortune to get the Triforce charts deciphered!

Lewa, scoffs: Yeah, whatever. What we need is a strong wind! So he'll just go-- *In his irony, he remembers about his Toa powers and blows Tingle far away with his balloon.*

Tatl: You just...

Natalie: A regular Hero of Winds we've got here. *laughs.*

Lewa: Hmm... I wonder if what he was saying was true. Nah, I won't care-worry about it. Oh, well, let's head for town.

*They head back down the mountain and make it close to town, but for some reason Lewa decides to Milk Road. Lucky for him, Natalie was able to t confirm there was something he could do, but as a Toa of Earth. So as "Whenua," Lewa took the Earth shock drills and goes through the stone previously blocking the road.*

Bridge Builder: Wow, you just made my job a whole lot easier! I'm going to go back to town and take all the credit.

*Lewa takes off the mask and returns to normal and makes it into the ranch. First thing he sees is a familiar face.*

Lewa: Hey, Vhisola!

Vhisola: Hi! Do I know you?

Lewa: Yeah... oh, wait, you're not really you.

Vhisola: Yeah, you got that right. My sister tells me stuff like that all the time.

Lewa: You've got a sister?

Vhisola: Yeah, she's over there milking the cows.

Lewa: I'll be back in a moment.

*Lewa leaves Vhisola, Tatl, and Natalie (yeah, really gentleman like you of you, Lewa) and goes for the cows.*

Alohra: Oh, hello.

Lewa: O_O Wow...

*And thus Lewa met with Alohra, the older sister, who was sort of cute to Lewa's standards... Maybe since they wear the same sort of mask or something?*

Alohra: Wait, did you come from town?

Lewa: Yeah... sort of.

Alohra: Then that must mean the road is finally open! Now I can deliver the milk! Oh, I'm sorry, I'm Alohra and I'm pretty much the head of this ranch.

Lewa: And I'm Lewa, here to save you from... whatever it is you need saving from.

Alohra: Aw, that's sweet. Well, don't be a stranger or anything. *She goes back to milking the cow... but Lewa stands there staring at her cuteness...*

Lewa, to himself: Wow... just wow... so very gorgeous-stunning and very pretty...

Alohra: Hmm? Did you say something?

Lewa: Uh... no! *He runs back to the others.*

Alohra: Hmm. He seems very nice. Okay, back to work now.

Natalie, filing her nails: Have some fun over there?

Vhisola: So, what's your name?

Lewa: Uh… I won't say my name.

Vhisola: Uh, okay. Since you're wearing green, why don't I call you grasshopper? Yeah, that's the name Vhisola gives you.

Lewa: Grasshopper?!

Vhisola: Okay, then why don't I call you snotball instead?

Lewa, annoyed: Grasshopper it is then.

Vhisola: Say, you're a guy, aren't you?

Lewa: Uh... yeah.

Vhisola: Can you help me save the ranch?

Lewa: Really? From what?

Vhisola: Them.

Lewa: Who's Them? Can I meet Them?

Vhisola: They… come at night in a sphere of light every time about this year. They come onto the ranch and steal our cows for their alien needs.

Lewa: What would they want with cows?

Vhisola: I don't know, I guess for their milk-powered engines?

Tatl: But that doesn't make any sense!

Lewa: I don't know.

Natalie: You know, if you've really got it in for her sister, help her out. Maybe she might see something in you for saving the ranch? *laughs* Oh, I highly doubt it…

Lewa: I'll do it!

Vhisola: Great! Meet me here at 2 AM, that's about the time they arrive. Just pick them off with a long-range weapon.

Lewa: Will either of these do? *He holds out his bow and arrows and Midak Skyblaster.*

Vhisola: Perfect!

Lewa: Wow, it's barely the first day and I'm already having some fun.

Tatl: That reminds me… you still got that remote and the Song of Time?

Lewa, holds it remote: Never left without it. And I got the Song of Time perfectly memorized. After all... I had to play it quite a lot in my first adventure... So it's burn-etched in my memory.

Tatl: Good, because without either, we'd be in deep trouble.

Natalie: Right now… well, you've got a ton of time on your hands. I'm going to head for the Inn back in town for a while.

Tatl: Wait, if you go back in time, wouldn't you undo everything like saving the giants?

Voice of wisdom: If you travel back in time, you still carry the… experience of beating the boss and like all your important items, not including your consumables like bombs or rupees or... I don't know.

Lewa: See? He knows EVERYTHING, just like I told you he did. So nothing to worry about.

Tatl: But it shouldn't have to work that way!

Lewa: So nothing to worry about. Besides, I'm an expert at time travel. You ought to know that by now, Navi. After all, I was able to jump-travel a week into the future and back.

Tatl: I should have stayed at home.

*As Lewa and his two partners returned to Clock Town, Lewa got bored as he had to wait a good amount of hours before having to return to the ranch. He set off to retrieve more masks and fulfill whatever he was supposed to do, as Natalie dictated as she read the strategy guide which almost defeats the purpose of this spoof, yet saves me a lot of time and explaining.*

Lewa: What's with these girls?

Rosa Sisters: Go away, we're trying to dance here!

Natalie: Gee, talk about killing a mood. *laughs.* Someone ought to put them in their place.

Lewa: And I know how!

*He puts on Kamaro's mask and steps in front of them and begins to dance to George Michael's song Careless Whisper. That definitely shut them up. There was a silence among the gathered women and that stupid guard who just stood there and did nothing but watch. The Rosa sisters were definitely entranced by Lewa's moves, Tatl has yet to any lines, and Natalie wasn't doing anything.*

Rosa Sisters: *clapping* Thank you for those moves! You be our master now!

Lewa: What can I say, I amaze even myself sometimes.

Natalie: He definitely became more self-centered since we last met... not to mention more talkative.

Tatl: You knew him?

Natalie: Holy smokes, you just spoke!

Tatl: Thank Lord of shadows for not giving me any lines earlier.

Natalie: But yeah, back in the first movie, I met him a few times. Didn't say too much aside from a few words here and there, but whatever I guess. *laughs.*

Tatl: Well that doesn't surprise me.

Natalie: Well, I guess if you don't need me, I'll be staying at the Inn...

*With that, Natalie returns to the room she rented out from earlier and decides to wait there until either something happened or Lewa returned, which ever happened first.*

*Lewa and Tatl went back to the ranch, and it was almost time. Lewa stood outside looking around and getting his blaster ready. Moments later, Vhisola came out from the house with a serious expression on her face. She was a woman on a mission, and you could tell.*

Lewa: Hey, so we still going for this?

Vhisola: I sure am. You better get ready, they're almost here. *She goes into the barn to protect the cows.*

Lewa: Okay, so how hard can they be?

*That's when a large sphere of light comes in from the sky and starts to drop Them off. Lewa started to have a panic attack and go crazy.*

Lewa: *yelling in Scottish gibberish*

Tatl: Don't just stand there, numb nuts, fight!

*Lewa, still yelling like a fool, started to take Them out one by one with a blast from his Midak Sykblaster and random shots from his bow (which is sort of weird to imagine him with both weapons at the same time). It seemed as though they were weak against light, which proved useful. They were just as weak to the regular arrows, as it also seemed. Either way, it wasn't too difficult to take Them down, but as Lewa took one down, two more arrived in their place. Lewa flew to the top of the house and then began to snip the rest of Them off, including the ones that tried to sneak up behind the barn. It was a surprise Alohra didn't wake up, what with all the yelling and spazzing out Lewa was doing in those few hours of the super late night.*

Tatl: Okay, you're doing good, just keep going.

*Lewa was still freaking the freak out, but he managed by luck to defeat Them. And a not a moment sooner, the sun zaps the rest of them away, and that sphere of light takes away any stragglers who might have managed to escape Lewa's barrage. Ha! Take that, alien scum. And don't let the door knob hit you where the sun would-a kicked you..*

Lewa, panting: Must never do that again.

Vhisola: Ah! We did it!

Lewa: We? What did you do?

Vhisola: We saved the ranch!

Lewa: Okay, yeah, "we" did it thanks to "teamwork."

Vhisola, hugs him: Thank you... Mr. Hero.

Lewa: Aw, you hear that? She called me a hero.

Tatl: Okay, good, Mr. Hero. Now let's go.

Alohra: Oh, Vhisola, there you are.

Lewa, blushing: Hello...

Alohra: Oh, hello. I didn't think you'd come in this early...

Lewa: Yeah, well, you know...

Alohra: Well, no time to chat now, I have to get a supply of milk ready to deliver to Mr. Norik at the bar downtown.

Vhisola: I wanna come, too!

Alohra: No, you're staying here with the cows.

Vhisola: Aw, you're no fun.

Alohra: Say, I'm going to be going at about 6 this evening. Would you like to join me?

*There are many levels which men go through when certain women talk to them. One is simply a cold reaction where the man feels nothing, and this is mainly for girls who are witches. Another is getting bothered and hot, which the man feels somewhat sweaty and uncomfortable, and this reaction comes from girls who are somewhat attractive and maybe on the guy's mind. Then the last level is the TOTAL MELTDOWN, where the man cannot hold himself up and falls to the ground in a complete sweaty and nervous wreck, which was what Lewa was doing, and this obviously comes from super cute and attractive girls the guy has heavy feelings for...*

Vhisola, laughs: Should I get the wheel barrel?

Alohra: Okay, see you ar 6 then...

Tatl: Smooth move, cassanova.

Lewa: A romantic ride-drive with Alohra... I can live with that.

Tatl: Well, at least pick yourself up. And even then, there is still a lot of time to blow before then. We've got at least a good 12 hours... and it's the second day. Should we at least try and get to that next temple?

Lewa: If you say, so. Hopefully it won't be as hard to get to as that mountain temple...

*At the Great Bay...*

Roodaka: Wow, it's, like... totally boring around here. I mean, Glatorian rock stars, warm sand, calm oceans that allow easy access to the temple, Vortixx pirates... can this place be any more boring?

Zhirika: We could go down to the beach and have an awesome beach party if you'd like?

Roodaka, bored sigh: Yeah, I guess. Not like we have anything else to do but guard these silly eggs... except for getting those other three eggs, but I don't wanna do that.

Zhirika: Okay, you got it.

Roodaka: One last thing... you're like a total ditz.

Zhirika: Aw, thank you.

Roodaka: That was an insult, not a compliment.

Edited by ShadowBionics, Oct 05 2012 - 12:25 AM.

[ShadowBionics]

Chapter 13 and 14 melded together


*Once Lewa was able to pick himself off the ground, he decided that he might as well go off and try to get to the last temple. He headed back to Clock town--*

Lewa: It's Clook Town.

*CLOCK TOWN, where he met back up with a well-rested Natalie. From there, he flew off into the distance… to the canyon…*

Tatl: Lewa, you dimwit, you flew in the wrong direction.

Natalie: Yeah, the strategy guide didn't say anything about a canyon. Well, not yet anyway.

Lewa: I'm sorry, I get dyslexic sometimes! I don't know the difference between my east and west!

Natalie: Then boy, do I feel sorry for you.

Lewa: Hey, what's that over there?

Tatl: It's a pile of rocks.

Lewa, looking through Lens of Truth: Hey, there's some guy there.

Tatl: Are you kidding me?

Lewa: Hey, invisible guy, what are you doing here?

Guard: Egads! Can you see me?

Lewa: Uh, yeah. How else would I be talking to you?

Guard: Well, it's no matter, no one knows I exist.

Lewa: If you weren't invisible, then people could quick-chat with you.

Guard: If only I had something to drink.

Lewa: Like this? *He takes out a red potion.*

Guard: Thanks, I'm parched. *He takes a big drink and he magically becomes visible.*

Tatl: O_O Wow, he wasn't kidding then.

Natalie: It's Nintendo logic.

Chuggaaconroy: Hey, that's my line.

Natalie: I'm older than you, so respect me, little one. *devious laugh.*

Chuggaaconroy: Yes, ma'am. *walks away sadly.*

Guard: Here's a gift for you. *And thus Lewa got the Stone mask.*

Lewa: Aw, it's ugly!

Guard: Yes, but it's so ugly that no one can see you. It makes you invisible.

Lewa: That doesn't make sense.

Natalie: It's Nintendo logic, it doesn't have to make sense! That's the beauty of it!

Tatl: Let's just go to the Great Bay this time, and not the Canyon.

Lewa: Okay, Navi.

Tatl: It's Tatl!

Lewa: No thanks, I'll just have mine over easy.

*So Lewa, Natalie and Tatl went in the opposite direction where they made it to the Great Bay.*

Natalie: Wow, it's like… so relaxing here. I could practically stay out here if I wanted to.

Lewa: You might as well, not like we're going to do anything worth noting.

Natalie: Well, in that case…

*Natalie quickly runs and returns with an umbrella, chair, beach towel, and things like that. And it's kind of amazing how she virtually managed to get all of that in such a hurry, too. It was enough to leave Lewa shocked and awed.*

Lewa: O.O

Tatl: Hey, Mr. Dimwit of Time, can we move on?

*So Natalie sat down in her folding chair and put on some sunglasses to relax in the sun, and Tatl dragged a confused Lewa away into the ocean. That snapped his mind back to normal.*

Lewa: What was that for?!

Tatl: For being a dimwitted moron with a focus problem. Instead of wondering how she got all that gear here in a fraction of a second, you should be concentrating on getting to the next temple or whatever.

Lewa: Oh, all right. Hey, there's a guy drowning out there. I'm going to stare-watch him.

Tingle: Oh, look, it's a guy watching a guy drown. I'm going to watch him.

*Note that if you're watching some guy watching another guy drown, then by deductive reasoning, you watched him drown, too.*

Tatl: Would you actually get out there and save him?!

*Lewa swims closer to the drowning guy, uses his Toa powers to scare the birds away, and then uses his strength and Toa power to get him to safety on shore.*

Natalie: I love the sun… it's so relaxing and warm… definitely much better than that snowy mountain. *laughs.*

*Lewa manages to get him across the water and onto the shore. This man, clad in blue armor, gets up and slowly walks to the sandy beach… and about 1 hour later, he finally makes it. He might have gotten there sooner if the seagulls weren't trying to peck his face. He then collapses onto the sand.*

Lewa: Okay, birds, happy now? *He runs over to the guy.* Hey, what's with you?

Tarix: I am Tarix of Tajun… lead guitarist in the Tajun band. I think this is it for me… my final message…

Natalie: Guitarist? And you're half-dead…? Okay, now I'm REALLY mad. I mean, who would do this to a guitarist?

Tarix: Will you listen to it?

Lewa: Sure, why not. Not like this is some stupid high school where you randomly break out into song, right?

Tarix: Okay… *He slowly gets up, makes himself more lively, pulls out his guitar, and prepares for a song.*

Tatl: You were saying?

Tarix: One, two, three!! (singing) Oh, baby, baby, listen to me! The carnival's beginning soon, we're the ones they're waiting to see! But that girl, our vocalist, she had some strange eggs. And she's lost her voice, you can't hear what she says. Whoa-ho, now! In Great Bay now somethin' is a-happenin'. Is it now? Oh, baby, listen to me, I don't wanna beg! Vortixx pirates, they stole that girl's eggs!

Tatl and Lewa: O_O

Natalie: Go on, fellow music artist.

Tarix, singing: I went to stop the Vortixx pirates, then pow and bam! I got knocked down and here I am! Baby! If I die like this… Even if I die, it sure won't be in peace! That's for suuure! Somebody, please, rescue her eggs before the pirates take their toll. Oh somebody, somebody please, heal my soul! (stops) That's all, thank you. *He then falls back onto the ground, not moving.*

Natalie: Wow… he gave the last of his strength to sing a final message… I'm so moved, I don't know what to say.

Lewa: Well, guess we have to heal him. Ready?

Tatl, annoyed: I guess so.

*Lewa starts to play the song of healing, and Tatl sings the words.*

Tatl: Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake. Shake your… buttocks.

*Just like Whenua before him, Tarix began to feel something and he began to have delusions of wierdnesses and I know I just made that word up but there was no existing word to describe this.*

*Inside Tarix's mind, he is looking like a fool with his pants on the ground, floating through nothingness… but then that just contradicts the previous statement that his pants are on the ground. Well, no matter, I'll just blame Nintendo logic. So while Tarix is upside down and bouncing off the ceiling (yes, I know I remember that song, blame my cousins and sue me if you dare), some Kiina look-alike is floating right there adjacent to him. She and Tarix are then turned right side up and placed on the ground. So NOW Tarix is looking like a fool with his pants on the ground. They hold hands and turn around to face the rest of their band members. Then Tarix closes his eyes, spreads out his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack!" in a high-pitched voice.*

*In reality with the rest of us, Tarix closes his eyes, and then he turns into blue sparklies, only his face left, turning into a mask. And thus Lewa got Tarix's… mask… if you can call it that.*

Lewa: I don't know how he could have water-drowned with this mask, it's got a long tube-thing running into a life counter.

Tatl: So I guess he suffocates if his counter runs out?

Natalie: Respect for the dead, man.

Lewa: If you say so.

*Lewa takes the moment to make his guitar into a grave site for him to try and please Natalie and her hawtness, although there was nothing to bury since he became one with the universe, like the Dao and Whenua before him.*

Tatl: I wonder if you put that on, if you'll transform.

Lewa: I have a feeling I have to put this on anyway… *So like with Whenua's mask, he puts on Tarix's mask/helmet/diver thing, which begins to suffocate him in addition to re-writing his DNA. Lewa lets out a painful scream and then…*

Natalie: Oh, wow.

Lewa: Holy Mata Nui, I became an anorexic blue guy with a tubey thing in my back!

*Lewa stood there looking at himself. A few moments ago he was a Toa of Air, but now he looked like something Lego made and then rejected but then decided to market off at the last minute in an attempt to make a sixth set in a canister wave and make money off of people like me who will buy their stuff, but not realize until the last moment how awful the set really was.*

Tatl: Well, I'd say that's an improvement.

Lewa: It's not funny! I need to quick-gain some weight and--

Tatl: There's no time for that, we have to get to…

Natalie: Tajun I guess?

Tatl: Yeah, that place.

Lewa: Fine, but I won't like it. I feel so… out of place.

Tatl: Stop being such a baby and get going!

Natalie: He's in a band, why don't you try and find the other band members?

Lewa: Good thought-plan. But where is this place?

*Since Lewa could no longer fly, he had to go "foot-walking" in order to find it. With some help from Natalie and her strategy guide, he was finally able to find it. The place was in a cave, so it wasn't like it was going through Strawberry Fields where nothing is real. But it was sort of peaceful to say the least.*

Natalie: Oh, wow! Look at the stage set-up! I wouldn't mind doing a gig here. It's so fun, and yet so cool and relaxing all at the same time.

Lewa: Okay, gotta find the rest of the band members and cross-ask them stuff.

Natalie: Okay, you do that… people are looking at me weird… o_o

*So Lewa went into the rooms of various band members, first meeting up with Stronius the drummer.*

Stronius: Hey, Tarix, what've you been doing for the past 3 hours?

Lewa, as Tarix: Drowning mostly.

Stronius: That stupid tube thing doesn't do anything, does it?

Lewa: It just suffocates me.

Stronius: I just hope we can practice for the carnival… That Kiina girl hasn't gotten her voice back yet.

Lewa: Don't look at me. I'm going to bed. *Lewa jumps into Tarix's bed and finds Tarix's diary.* Oh, look, he keeps a diary. Navi, let's hot-pop some popcorn and read it.

Tatl: No, wait, read it and see if we can get any clues.

Lewa: Okay, let's see… *Lewa skims through the diary, most of it containing notes for songs, one revealing Tarix's lucky color of green, and his concerns for Kiina and the eggs.*

Tatl: Okay… I'm not so sure now.

Lewa: Then let's go find the others.

Stronius: And you do know that Strakk's looking for you, right?

Lewa: Were you just eavesdropping on me?

Stronius: Yes.

Lewa: You got some issues. I'll go talk to that guy later, where's everyone else?

Stronius: In their rooms… I think.

Lewa: Then I'll just go make sure of that.

*Lewa exists the room and switches over to another room, this one belonging to Gelu the Bass player.*

Gelu: Heh. Been a while, Tarix. I didn't think you'd show up.

Lewa: Show up? For what?

Gelu: For our jam session.

Lewa: Uh, yeah, sure, of course. Did you think I forgot?

Gelu: Then let's do this. *Both of them take out their instruments and Gelu plays a few notes. Lewa, remembering what he read, plays the notes from the diary.*

Lewa: Wow, I can actually play.

Gelu: You sure can, that was good. Now let's go for something else.

*Gelu plays another string of notes and Lewa plays one out of memory from the diary. From this point on, the two of them start playing a song and everyone starts to crowd around the door and listen on in.*

Natalie: Is that Lewa playing??

*The two musicians (well bass player and guy pretending to be a guitarist) then finish their song.*

Gelu: That was great, man. Now if only Kiina could get her voice back, we could practice.

Lewa: Yeah, that's a cry-shame. Wish I could talk to her.

Gelu: Too bad you can't. No one can.

*Lewa leaves the room and finds Kiina's door… with some guy standing outside the door.*

Lewa: Weird-freak. *Lewa shoves him out of the way and barges in, but there is no one there… except for a Deku Scrub.*

Tatl: Why is there a Deku Scrub in here?

Deku Scrub: It's all about location, my fine madam.

Lewa: ... Kiina! You've got some explaining to do!

Deku Scrub: Don't you mind me, now, I'm just going were my business carries me to.

Lewa: Okay you Mr. Haney rip-off, I'm just looking for Kiina.

Deku Scrub: I think she went outside like she always does. But this place is like a beach, I don't know why you'd ever want to leave.

Lewa: Well, this was a waste of time. We might as well go find those pirates and steal the eggs back.

Tatl: Where do we go for that?

Deku Scrub: I can give you some directions… for a small fee.

*Lewa and Tatl leave the room and resolved to go find the place for themselves.*

Natalie: So you're going to make an elaborate plan to break into the Vortixx Pirate fortress to swoop in and steal back the eggs all before the end of the third day in which the moon is going to come crash down on us?

Lewa: I've already synch-set my watch.

Tatl: Where'd you get a watch?

Lewa: I found it.

*Back in Metru Nui...*

Tahu: Hey, what happened to the watch I stole? And the camera, for that matter? Everything I love and cherish is disappearing from me so suddenly! It's all going up in flames!

Kopaka: Uh-oh...

Tahu: Wait... flames... fire... burn. BURN STUFF!!!

Kopaka: No! Tahu, calm down!

Tahu: Never! I burn all!

Kopaka: Yup, I'm doomed. I can only hope I'm not trapped in a never-ending cycle of this.

*Back in Alma Nui…*

Lewa: So now we're all set, but this needs exact-timing for it to work.

Natalie: Okay, George Clooney, let's hope this crazy plan of yours works.

Tatl: For our sake, it has to.

Lewa: And don't worry, I've got a secret weapon… *He takes out the Stone Mask, despite how ugly he said it was.* This plan calls for a snake… a Solid Snake…

*Natalie and Tatl groan in disgust.*

Natalie: Lame.

Tatl: You had to go there.

Natalie: Well, I probably wouldn't be too much help you you all, so I think I'll sit this one out. Plus I rather like it here. It's just so cool. Heh heh heh.

*So with Tatl tagging along, Lewa uses Tarix's mask to travel over to the Pirates' Fortress, which has a secret entrance at the bottom. As Tarix, Lewa swims through the secret entrance and breaks into the fortress… which was crawling with Vortixx Pirates surveying the area atop steam boats.*

Lewa: This place is pack-loaded…

Tatl: Then you better make your way through here.

Lewa: Yeah… *He looks at his watch and then he starts to swim through and pass through the pirates. One he made it by them, he was able to break into the main part of the fortress, which was filled with pirates as well.*

Tatl: What now, Oceans?

Lewa: I'm not George Clooney! And now it's time for my secret weapon. *He rips off the Tarix mask and puts on the Stone mask, making him invisible.*

Tatl: Okay, let's see if this works.

*Lewa walks in front of the pirates, but they don't see him.*

Lewa: Can you see me?

*They don't answer him.*

Lewa: Should I nail them? Ah, forget it, I'm going to nail them anyway. *Lewa swipes his sword and takes one of them out with the hilt, much like the Vahki back in the first movie.*

Tatl: And you're the HERO of this story?

Lewa: Hey, this actually works! *He goes up to a group of them.* Hi, guys! *He swipes his sword hilt and takes them out.*

Tatl: Come on, we have to keep moving.

Lewa: All right, don't get your shorts in a knot.

*Lewa climbs up a ladder and makes his way to the door.*

Lewa: Hi, there! *He takes out the guard and goes inside.* Where are we now?

Tatl: Looks like we're in a vent system. Look around.

Lewa: Okay. *He takes a look through one of the vents and he actually sees a large chamber with Roodaka and Zhirika inside, talking about something concerning the eggs.*

Tatl: All right, now we can-- *Just then, a wasp passes by her, almost running into her.* Excuse me! *The wasp goes into the hive just above the heads of the two pirates.*

Roodaka: I've been waiting for you.

Lewa: O.O We've been scold-ratted!

Tatl: No, we haven't, just shut up!

Roodaka: Did you find the rest of the eggs?

Zhirika: No… b-b-b-but that's because…

Roodaka: Fool! What are you trying to pull here! Doing some beach party while you know we have eggs to steal?!

Zhirika: But that was your idea.

Roodaka: Silence! If people hear the Great Bay pirates lost the treasure they stole, we'll become a laughingstock!

Zhirka: Yes, but Roodaka… The sea is strangely murky where we were attacked by the sea snakes.

Roodaka: Silence! That's why the Glatorian can't send for any help. With the eggs gone, they'll be frantically searching for them. We don't hurry, those Glatorian fools will find them before us! There are four eggs here now. Now go get the other three before the sea snakes find them.

Zhirka: … Understood…

*Lewa stands there behind the bars with that ugly mask peering out. He almost reminds me of some prisoner with one of those ugly faces looking dazed and confused like Foghat except he's not taking a slow ride.*

Roodaka: Wait! The eggs are the only clue we have about the dragon cloud floating above the bay. If what that freak with the rusted mask says is true… and if we can get our hands on the treasure that lies beneath the temple in that dragon cloud… Then we can spend the rest of our lives living the good life! So get a move on! Now!!

Tatl: NOW we have a good lead on where the eggs are. We've got a good view on those pirates from up here, but what now…?

Lewa: Surprise hive attack! *Lewa takes his blaster and shoots the wasp hive, which falls down in front of Roodaka.*

Roodaka: What in the name of--? *The angry wasps break out of the hive and begin to attack the pirates, and man can they scream! Look at them run, I never knew pirates were so afraid of wasps.*

Tatl: Oh, Lewa…

*Lewa then gets out of there and jumps down to a door down below, logically where the meeting chamber would be. He explores around and finds a large treasure chest. Lewa opens it and thus he gets the hookshot.*

Lewa: Yay, I got another one of these things! Now if only I could have two, I'd be super-happy.

Tatl: Two hookshots in one game? Tch, yeah like that'll ever happen.

*Lewa also finds an aquarium with an egg inside of it.*

Lewa: All right, there's one! *Lewa goes in, but he starts to drown.*

Tatl: Put on that stupid mask you got and stop being a dimwit!

Lewa: Fine! *So Lewa turns into Tarix again and manages to get the egg in a bottle with little problem.* Is this okay, mommy?

Tatl: Seriously, why do you have to say that every single time you put something in a bottle?

[ShadowBionics]

Here is chapter 15. Around here, it was when I realized I ought to make the chapters longer in order to fit in more story. So no more combining chapters, as far as I can see fit.



*Natalie was back on the music hall, seeing as she really didn't want to go into a fortress of female pirates who could tear out your intestines and tie it into a bow. She was really beginning to question if Lewa's plan was all that he said it was. She thought it was also sort of funny how Lewa forgot about his "date" with Alohra… oh, well. Too bad for him.*

Natalie: I guess he'll have to learn somehow. *laughs.* Hmm... Maybe I should go and meet him out at the beach, just in case anything happens.

*While Natalie pondered on the irony of Lewa's situation, Lewa was back at the fortress trying to steal back the stolen eggs.*

Lewa: Hi, guys! *He takes out a few pirates.*

Tatl: Can you get a move on?!

Lewa: We still have until the end of the second day!

Tatl: What about your "romantic ride-drive" with Alohra?

Lewa: … O.O Son of Makuta, I forgot!

Tatl: Then get a move on!

Lewa: Okay! *Lewa races through the fortress, taking out guards as he went. But when he reached one room, he met an obstacle.*

Pirate 1: Stop right there!

Lewa: You can see me?!

Pirate: That's the end for you… *She takes out two swords and goes at Lewa.*

Lewa: Great, this again. *Lewa luckily had some experience fighting them from his reality, so there was that. Once he defeated her, I went into the next room and got the egg from there.*

Tatl: Okay, that's 2 down and 2 more to go in this place.

Lewa: Is this okay, mommy?

*Lewa continued onward and made it to another room with guards in it. Lewa easily took them down since they couldn't see him. But then the cycle began again.*

Pirate 2: This goes no further…

Lewa: I go however I please. *So Lewa took her down as well, went to the next room, rescued the princess, lost the princess, went into town for a huge loading screen, rescued the princess and then got the egg and lost the princess and then it never happened. Sonic next gen was a HORRIBLE GAME and I don't know why I even made a reference to It.*

Tal: One more…

Lewa: Is this okay, mommy?

Tatl: Stop that, it's getting annoying!

*Lewa left and made it to the last room with guards in it.*

Lewa: Hey, pirates! You can't hurt what you can't sure-see! *Lewa used his blaster on them and defeated them easily. Then he made it to the next room.*

Pirate 3: That's enough from you… We aren't fooled by that mask!

Lewa: Really? Your little friend out there was. You should fire her. *She and Lewa battle it out and Lewa wins. He goes into the room, grabs the egg, goes "Is this okay, mommy?" again, and he was out of there.*

Tatl: Shouldn't you put those in a good spot?

Lewa: You mean my stomach?

Tatl: No, that diary said something about some guy in an aquarium.

Lewa: Okay, I'll talk to him…

*Sure enough they found this aquarium out in the middle of the waters of the Great Bay. Lewa goes in, disguised as Tarix, and met with the doctor guy with a funny name…*

The Doctor: Ah! You! I take it you got back the eggs?

Lewa: Sure, yeah, of course scary-man I should know but don't.

The Doctor: Don't stand there! Put them in!

Lewa: My stomach?

The Doctor: No! The aquarium!

*Lewa climbs up to the top and dumps the eggs into the water.*

The Doctor: There are still 3 more eggs to find!

Lewa: Yeah, I sort of know that.

The Doctor: Go get them!

Lewa: I will… in a little bit.

*Lewa turns back into himself and gets back to the beach.*

Natalie: Where've you been?

Lewa: Everywhere.

Natalie: So what's you next move, Clooney?

Lewa: I've got to get to the ranch!

Natalie: Here I almost thought you forgot.

*Lewa flies off to the ranch… without her… oh, wow…*

Natalie: Oh, well. Maybe I can go back over to that music hall for a little while and then head on back to my room at the Inn. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. Maybe while I'm there, I can figure out how to get out of here... I'd like to go home soon.

*As Natalie planned to escape from Alma Nui, Lewa raced his way to the ranch just in the nick of time. Alohra was already loading up her wagon pulled by two horses… but it was weird because the wagon also had a steering wheel, so… Nintendo logic at its best.*

Chuggaaconroy: *sputtering like an angry woman.*

Alohra: Oh, hello. I'm going in to town to deliver the milk now. You want to come along.

Lewa: For you, I'd go anywhere.

Alohra: Great. Thank you. I get kind of lonely on nights like this.

Lewa: How can you be lonely?! Just one wagon-ride through Clook Town and you'd have a pack of dogs stalk-following you! And I don't mean the animal.

Alohra: Aw, thank you… I think. Was that a compliment?

Lewa: Yes.

Alohra: Aw, thank you.

*So Lewa got in the back of the wagon and Alohra started the ride by pulling the reins. I'm really confused as to how this wagon works.*

Alohra: Ever since our father died, I sort of had to take charge of the ranch and my little sister. You know she's been practicing with a bow? She says it's to keep away the "ghosts…"

Lewa: Little kids these days.

Tatl: *rolls eyes.* Whatever, Mr. Hero.

Alohra: Anju…

Lewa: Who?

Alohra: I've got a friend in town named Anju at the inn. Her wedding is the day after tomorrow.

Lewa: Day after…? Uh…

Alohra: Is that thing getting bigger? That moon?

Lewa: No, but it's getting closer.

Alohra: I've heard people saying that thing's going to fall.

Lewa: I've heard some guy wants to drop it on us.

Alohra: Really? I wonder if what they say is true?

Lewa: Maybe.

*Alohra made it past the ranch, but the road was blocked off by a gate.*

Alohra: The road… *She looks over to where there was another way…* Get your blaster ready…

*Aw, snap! When the farm girl tells you to get your weapon ready, you know it's go time. Really, really go time!*

Alohra: First the road gets blocked by a boulder, and now we have to go through Ugly Country.

Lewa: But this place has billboards of Iruini everywhere. Are you saying he's dog-ugly?

Alohra: Yeah, and his brother, too.

Lewa: There's two Iruini's? They're multiplying! I ran into him in town!

Alohra: No, that's the circus leader, I'm talking about the Iruini Brothers.

Lewa: There's… three??

Alohra: I'm going to get us through here as fast as we can. If any pursuers come from behind, you pick them off with that blaster. Understood?

Lewa: Got it, pretty-lady!

Alohra: Good! You'll do fine.

*The moment she starts up again, the two Iruini brothers come out atop their mounts wearing bandit masks. Oh, and the brothers were wearing bandit masks, too. Lewa starts to freak out the moment they came out. He starts to fire at them like a madman… but by some miracle Lewa manages to get them through Ugly Country safe and sound.*

Alohra: Thank you… Mr. Norik was happy to get his first shipment of milk in a long time.

Lewa: That's good to know. Is he still a lazy bum?

Alohra, confused: No… he actually works a lot at that bar.

Lewa: Really? The Norik I knew was some lazy guy who fell asleep while delivering milk.

Alohra: No, Mr. Norik owns his own milk bar and he is very serious about his job. Speaking of which, take this.

*And thus Lewa got his Cow Mask.*

Lewa: Does this turn me into a cow?

Alohra: No, we don't have those anymore. This gives you access to the milk bar. I don't give these to just anyone.

Lewa: Oh, thank you…

Alohra: And this isn't much, but…

*She takes Lewa in her arms and gives him a big hug. Lewa goes into a complete and total meltdown and he was reduced to a limp mess… he felt all warm and fuzzy! inside! Heh heh, silly virtual console didn't fix that typo from the original game. Lewa could stay like that forever... But of course, he couldn't as he had a job to do in finding the last of those eggs, so eventually Lewa had to leave and return back to the ocean and finish off the mission.*

[Phovos the Raptor]

Well, I do very much like it, but my problem is that I've never played Majora's Mask, so I don't know how the actual story goes.

Either way, the best line was this:

Remote 2.0: I cancelled and closed most of ShadowBionics' BZPower comedies!

Nothing better than breaking the 4th wall...

[ShadowBionics]

I don't really blame you, since a lot of people prefer to play OOT over MM, considering it's just one of those sort of "different" games from the series.

In a nutshell, the story revolves around Link who goes off to search for a long-lost friend (Hyrule Hystoria confirmed it to be Navi) in the Lost Woods, where he is ambushed by the Skull Kid, wearing Majora's Mask, and accompanied by fairies Tatl and Tael.

The Skull Kid then takes them all to Termina, where he originally came from and where he was banished from. Link has to help the Happy Mask Saleman get Majora's Mask back in 3 days before he leaves... and oddly enough, the moon, enchanted by Majora's Mask, will fall on Termina in 3 days. So Link has to make people happy and get masks to help him on his quest, as well as free the Four Guardian Giants, who have been imprisoned by Majora's Mask/Skull kid in 4 temples.

In a nutshell, the game is more reliant on doing side-quests and getting to know the characters in Termina more that it is on doing the main quest. So it's like the opposite of OOT in a way. The characters are more deeper and have actual thoughts and feelings, and it also has a dark message, one of the darker ones of the Zelda series next to Twilight Princess, which will be my next spoof if all goes well. Link is trying to make things right and save the world, but there's also an underlying message that he can't completely help everyone and he can only do so much. There's also a message of maturity. Link, at the start, is this great hero who defeated Ganondorf, blinded by hubris until the Skull Kid depowers him and forces him to return to normal. After that, he must help the Goron people in the guise of war hero Darmani the Great, taking on the duty of helping Darmani's people and protecting them. Next, he takes the guise of Mikau the Zora guitarist to help Lulu and save her children, taking the responsibility. And there's one more instance, but since this spoof hasn't gotten to that yet, I won't cover it in this long, drawn-out theory. On with the comedy.

chapter 16, that way I don't forget where I am with this thing.


*Sometime after Lewa recovered from Alohra's hug, he was somehow able to pick himself back up and after Tatl was sure to remind him of the remaining eggs, he set off for Great Bay once again in the guise of Tarix. His mind was still somewhat jumbled up and his judgment was blocked. He resolved to go along with what clues he gathered from the pirates, and those clues lead him to Pinnacle Rock, which was this weird-shaped thing in the middle of the ocean. And deep below Pinnacle Rock was a sinkhole filled with a bunch of other holes which were filled with some large sea snakes.*

Lewa: I thought they'd be little-small!

Tatl: You really didn't think it'd be that easy, did you?

Lewa, long pause: Yes?!

Tatl: Well, too bad. Now get going and save those last three eggs.

Lewa: Okay, but if I get mauled-eaten, stay away from my funeral.

Tatl: Understood.

*Lewa swam down to the bottom, going through each of the openings. The first was empty, but the second had a large sea snake inside, which proceeded to lunge out at Lewa, who was once again having another EDICTARTS moments and started to spaz out the moment the snake reared its scary face at him.*

Lewa: That thing almost killed me!

Tatl: Then go kill it!

Lewa: How? I don't have any powers in this form!

Tatl: Well… have you actually tried?

Lewa: Uh… No.

Tatl: Then try! You might surprise yourself.

Lewa: Okay… *He concentrates and he doesn't do anything. He tries again and then the stupid tube thing that went into his back actually popped out.*

Tatl: Oops…

Lewa, suffocating: Can't breathe!!

*Somehow by luck, he was able to fix that pointless tube thing and calm down. He tries once again, and he finds himself surrounded by electricity.*

Lewa: Whoa!

Tatl: But we're in water, so wouldn't it be--

Chuggaaconroy: Nintendo Logic!

Lewa: Okay, now I can fight them.

*Lewa goes to face off to face the sea snake again, but this time he was ready and he gave the snake the shock of its life, killing it and getting the egg it was guarding.*

Lewa: Is this okay, mommy?

Tatl: Just get a move on!

*Lewa manages to fight off the last two snakes and gets the eggs each of them were guarding. And he said the line both times, I'm getting annoyed having to type it so many times, actually.*

Tatl: Now let's get back to The Doctor.

Lewa: What's his first name anyway?

Tatl: It's The. Isn't it obvious?

Lewa: No. So then his last name is Doctor?

Tatl: There you go.

Lewa: Dr. The Doctor… nothing strange-weird about that.

*Lewa made it back to see The Doctor in his laboratory/aquarium.*

The Doctor: Ah! You made it!

Lewa: Of course I did.

The Doctor: Dump the eggs! Now!

Lewa: You must be a hoot at parties. *Lewa goes to the top of the aquarium and puts the eggs with the rest of the ones.*

The Doctor: You! Get down here!

Lewa: What'd I do this time?!

*Lewa gets down and lands right next to The Doctor… on his face.*

The Doctor: Stupid! Wake up! Look and see!

*Lewa got up and before his eyes, all seven eggs started to hatch into… well, they looked like something. They almost resembled the sort of helmet Kiina wears, but in tadpole form. Then they started to line themselves up in a pattern.*

The Doctor: This pattern! What does it mean?

Lewa: I've seen this before! I forget where. *He takes out his guitar and starts to strum along to the notes.* Nope, nothing.

*Just then, something begins to happen to the hatchlings and Lewa learns the New Wave Bossa nova, not to be confused with Carrie Underwood's song Cowboy Cassanova.*

The Doctor: Quickly! The one who had these eggs! Play the song for her!

Lewa: Okay, as long as I don't have to see you again.

*Lewa runs out of there, tears the Tarix mask from his face, and flies back to the Glatorian Hall in Tajun where he was hoping to find Kiina at some point. Sure enough, he found her outside staring out into the ocean, looking so sad SO SAD.*

Lewa: Maybe if I looked like someone she knew… *He turns back into Tarix and tries to talk to her. It only made her even more sad.*

Tatl: Play the song like The Doctor said. See if anything happens.

Lewa: Oh, that's right! *Lewa plays the New Wave Bossa nova for her, and then something amazing happens… Kiina regains her voice! Not only that, but she starts to sing a scale.*

Tatl: Wow, it actually worked!

*Not only that, but a lone island out in the distance starts to change… into a turtle. The turtle awakens and rises to the surface.*

The Turle: Yawn, I slept quite well. I just realized this when I opened my eyes. The passing of days is quite quick, isn't it Kiina?

Kiina: How do you…?

The Turtle: Yes, Kiina, it's nothing to be surprised at. Although my eyes were closed in sleep, I still see everything that occurs in this ocean…

Lewa: Wow, it's like big Brother in turtle form.

The Turtle: It seems Kiina is still confused. Regrettably, there is no time for idle conversation. Now, proud Glatorian warrior… The open seas of the Great Bay have need of your might.

Lewa: Really?

The Turtle: Yes, now get on my back and let's go.

Lewa: You got trees growing out of your back.

The Turtle: Is that a problem?

Lewa: No, but it's just weird.

*Lewa left the confused Kiina atop of The Turtle's back, and together they went off for the temple, which wasn't as easy to access as the pirates stated earlier, considering they were about to eat their words the moment they tried to go past the dragon cloud and make it inside.*

*As they neared the thing, their boats were plucked off of the ocean and sent into their air by a whirlpool. And man, listen to them scream!*

Roodaka: I regret nothing!!!

*As the pirates fly away there's a guy on a bicycle a-peddling in the whirpool as well.*

Bicycle guy: Eeh, hee hee hee hee hee!

Lewa: What was that noise all about?

The Turle: It was probably just a bird, no matter. We're almost there.

Lewa: Oh, great. Good to know that.

[Phovos the Raptor]

I haven't played Ocarina of Time either. Or any of the Zelda games.

But Lewa makes a good, witty, silly Link, and I'm still reading this and it made me smile.

So good work!

[ShadowBionics]

Oh... well, then that makes my job here a little harder then... Seeing as it's a spoof that combines Bionicle and Zelda elements, not sure what else to do. I'm glad you're enjoying this at least, although now I feel kind of bad. But as you can tell, I am a major nerd when it comes to the games and even beyond them.


Anyways, chapter 17 so I don't forget where I am.





*Eventually Lewa and The Turtle made it inside of the temple, which seemed to be very complicated.*

Tatl: Whoa! Look at all those water pumps!

Lewa: Whoa! You just spoke for the first time in a long time!

Tatl: Blame Lord of shadows for his poor writing.

Lewa: You make a valid-point. This place gives me headaches.

Lord of shadows: You have yet to experience the pain I felt when I did this, little one.

*Ignoring Lord of shadows' lamenting, Lewa and Tatl went their way through the temple and trying their best to figure out how to get the water pumps flowing to wherever and so on. Of course though, this wasn't easy and I even needed to consult a person of great power and knowledge to help guide me through the temple.*

Lewa: No, I can do this! *Lewa runs away from Lord of shadows and goes into a room where he encounters a possessed demon frog from Karzahni.*

Tatl: I can't tell if this is Nintendo's doing or Lord of shadows' doing!

*The frog was in this gelatinous bubble, which pulled Lewa in. The frog proceeded to go a bunch of Street Fighter combos on him.*

Announcer: Head shot! Monster kill!

Lewa, panting: Who made this thing?

LOS: Now you're starting to see what I went through.

*Somehow through luck, Lewa managed to beat the frog and proceed and since this story has been dragging on long enough, I'm going to skip some parts…*

Lewa: That's not very responsible.

LOS: You're one to talk. You've never been responsible in this whole series at all!

*Lewa is somehow able to figure out how to get the temple done… AFTER he had to go through a second cycle because he failed to get the thing done in time. Lucky Lord of shadows/myself, we are not phased by any sort of time travel because we are far more important than any other characters in this story, and therefore are indestructible and not phased by anything out of the sort.*

Lewa: So how do you listen to all-knowing guide person again?

LOS: I'm not telling you. You're on your own now.

Lewa: Argh!

*So without a choice, Lewa was left to figure the temple out on his own, which would have taken almost another 3 days thanks to Lewa's incompetence, but didn't because he finally figured out the temple and managed to get the water flowing to where it was needed. And soon enough he was able to make it to the boss chamber where the boss was lurking.*

Lewa: But it's just a hole… *Lewa looks below, but he leans over too much and falls down the hole.*

Tatl: It's a wonder he's survived this long in his life.

Lewa: AAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! *He lands on his feet, but ends up in pain.* OOF! SHOOT!

Tatl: Are you speaking Moronese?

*From below, our point of view changes to that of a sea-lurker, who is swimming through the ocean. This sort of effect is effective for making the viewer feel like they are the bad person because they are attacking someone, much like Harry Potter did in Order of the Phoenix, but ignoring that, our view shifts and we see the mighty Gyorg jump out of the water much like Willy did in Free Willy and pause in mid-air.*

Lewa: Freedom!!!

*Gyorg then un-pauses an goes back into the water.*

Lewa: What do I do?

Tatl, sarcastic: Maybe by some luck he'll crash into the wall like the last boss.

Lewa: But I don't think they makes underwater things. Just mechanical bulls.

Tatl: Then why don't you try on that mask?

Lewa: I don't know what you're getting at… *Lewa turns into Tarix once more and jumps into the water to have a battle.*

*Wild Gyorg appeared!*

*Wild Gyorg used Splash!*

Lewa: Are you serious?

*No effect!*

*Lewa used slash attack. It's somewhat effective.*

*Wild Gyrog used Chomp! It's Super-effective! Critical hit!*

Lewa: That thing can eat! You know what, forget you, Gyorg!

*Lewa swims back up to the surface, changes back to normal, and shoots his skyblaster at him.*

*It's Super-effective!*

Lewa: Shut up, Pokemon-caption writer!

*No, you shut up!*

*Gyorg used Splash!*

Lewa: A fish out of water…

*With that loophole exposed, Gyorg actually ended up drowning itself, flapping around with its last breath until it died. So by some miracle, Lewa once again beat the boss by exposing some sort of weakness while doing virtually nothing. Lewa got the remains and went through the magic exit and I think by now we're all familiar with what happens next.*

Giant 3: Oh, who are you?

Lewa: We've come to get you to rally-support our cause!

Giant 3: Awareness of people who have only one glove and wish to seek the other?

Tatl: No. We need you and the other giants to help us defeat Remote before he drops the moon on everyone.

Giant 3: Uh… I don't think I want to.

Lewa: Are you a giant or a mouse? We need you and the others or else everyone will die!

Giant 3: Uh… If you say so…

Lewa: Great! There's nothing to worry about, it's only a toy wearing a demon-mask and a moon with a scowl-face on it, nothing big.

Giant 3: Uh… as long as there's nothing to worry about… I'm good.

*With another one of the Giants willing to help their cause, Lewa and Tatl leave the bubble bath land and arrive back out in the Great Bay.*

Lewa: Where's Natalie at?

Tatl: She probably had to go someplace else, that's all. But anyway, shouldn't you get going to the concert hall or something?

Lewa: Now that you mention it, I should.

Tatl: Well, then you'd better hurry on, Mr. Hero, before it's all too late.

*Without giving any further thought, Lewa flew as fast as he could and made it back just in time… sort of. See, Strakk was having an attack because Tarix had gone missing and then he was sort of lacking in the song-writing department as well. That's when Lewa came around…*

Strakk: Vhat is the vorld coming to?! I lost my guitarist, I can't make a new song…!

Lewa: Oh, hey, are you Strakk?

Strakk: Yeah, vhat of it?

Lewa: I don't know, I was told to come find you.

Tatl: As Tarix, dimwit.

Lewa: Oops.

Strakk: No good to me right now. I can't vrite to save my life right now!

Lewa: You need a song?

Strakk: Yeah, no kidding there, othervise ve're sunk!

Lewa: I got a song. *He plays the exact same song he played between Gelu and himself, note for note. Then inspiration hit Strakk.*

*Strakk moved towards his massive keyboard-like thing and began to replay the song while adding on his own little flair to it, because he felt like it.*

Strakk: Yes! I've done it! That's a nice song I just vrote there, isn't it?

Lewa: But you didn't--

Strakk: Vhat, you don't think I'm going to steal your song, are you?

Lewa: I have the idea you're just steal-claim it for yourself.

Strakk: You got that right. Now go and leave me!

Lewa: Sure thing, Drama-Queen.

*Lewa ran outside, only to see the band preparing for their practice.*

Lewa: Looks like I better hurry on up… but it's so pitch-black, you can't see-far for anything.

*Lewa hurried up and saw way… there was really no lighting. So he took out his midak skyblaster and lit the place up. The key to a good concert lies in lighting… unless it's like that other concert where everything burned down and the lead guitarist died in that tragic accident… but whatever, this isn't that story. Lewa turns into Tarix and jumps on down there.*

Kiina: Oh, Tarix, you made it back safely!

Lewa: Of course I'd be back. If you didn't close, I'd never leave.

Kiina: I was surprised when my voice turned that lonely island into that giant turtle.

Lewa: He has a name, you know.

Kiina: That song you played for me, my mother sing it for me often… long ago. Those eggs were laid to remind me of that.

Lewa: Are you part water-fowl or what?

Kiina: I put you through some rough experience, Tarix, but I'm glad you're okay.

Lewa: Yeah, because I live to for rough experiences pushed-shoved onto me by others.

Kiina: Let's start our rehersal!

*So with Stonius at the drums, they start to play Strakk's "new" song totally written by him… and they all seem to know it by magic. Okay, I call Nintendo Logic. So with Stronius at the drums, Gelu at the bass, Lewa as Tarix at the guitar, Strakk at the massive organ/keyboard, and Kiina at voals, they put on a stellar performance, totally putting everyone in awe.*

Kiina: Wow, that was amazing! I know we're going to do fine at the carnival when we give our concert tomorrow night!

Lewa: Yeah, sure... the carnival...

Kiina: Are you all right, Tarix? You look a bit uneasy.

Lewa: No, I'm sure-fine! It's just... I remembered something I've got to do! If I'm gone for a long time, don't worry, okay?

Kiina, confused: Um... okay. I think. Just don't forget about the concert, all right?

Lewa: You got it.

Tatl: Too bad we can't really be there since we'll be saving the world.

Lewa, quietly: Yeah, I know that, but I just wasn't sure what to tell her back there.

Edited by ShadowBionics, Sep 28 2012 - 04:13 PM.

[Phovos the Raptor]

Nice one with the pokemon battle! That was pretty amusing. I'm amazed Lewa is still alive too. And that Tatl hasn't killed him somehow.

[ShadowBionics]

If Tatl weren't relying on him, she probably would have out of rage. Well, here is chapter 18 (with a bit of chapter 19) so I don't lose track. Also, the introduction of a somewhat familiar character in a new form.



*Sometime after Lewa got to jam with the band, he left seeing as there was no other point to staying there, especially since Lewa hated water so much. To play things, safe, he returned back to the first day after spending like 2 cycles on the Great Bay's temple and wasting a lot of time. He was set back at Clock Town's clock tower, right outside of where he met the Happy Mask Salesman.*

Lewa: So we got three out of four, so were to next?

Natalie, sly: I think it's about time for you to go collecting the rest of those masks, as the strategy guide says you should.

Lewa: I thought I lost you!

Natalie: >_> No, I just didn't want to wait out for too long. Plus I have to plan my escape, you know?

Lewa: So are you going to help us?

Natalie: I don't really feel like it… *stretches her arms out.* Why don't you go do it then? You look capable enough. *laughs.* Besides, I really do wish to get home very soon. Here, take the guide, I'm sure it will be of big help to you. Good luck out there.

Lewa: A quest to collect a bunch of masks of power… where've I heard that before?

*Unable to make the connection of the original quest he and the other Toa Mata did of collecting a bunch of Kanohi Masks, Lewa sets out to complete the rest of the side quests, or at least most of them as he decided to leave the longest one for the last. In a combination of stealing Lord of shadows' notes and Natalie's strategy guide, he and Tatl set off to complete them, gathering as many other masks as the could in the process, even running into a few familiar faces along the way, in a milk bar to be precise.*

Lewa: Hey, Natalie! What are you doing here? I thought you'd be think-planning your escape?

Natasha: Who's this Natalie person? I'm Natasha. I'm charmed to meet you.

Lewa: Aw, come on, Natalie, you remember me. You even told me you wanted to get out of here and get home.

Natasha: I think I'd remember someone as lean and cute as you.

Lewa, stupid laugh: Thanks?

Natasha: I'd love to stay and chat, but I think I'm up on stage next.

Lewa: Going to perform for your fans?

Natasha: I guess you can call them that. I mean, I'm just a waitress. I wish I could go out and tour around and have a singing career.

Lewa: But you do have that, Natalie.

Natasha: I'm thinking you got the wrong person.

Tatl: You and me both, sister.

*Sadly for Lewa, he had just met Natalie's doppleganger named Natasha, who like her started out as a singing waitress, but the only difference is one hit it big and the other has to perform for a bunch of drunk guys and a construction crew on their lunch break. Lewa being as dimwitted as he was, didn't know the difference between the two, like how he can't tell Navi and Tatl apart to save his life.*


Iruini the Circus Leader: Hey, pal, see this? It's miiiiiiiiiiiiilk…

Lewa: Iruini?

Iruini: Yes, it is I, the hard-working Iruini. I hate my life right now.

*If you want the full story, why don't you go read that other story I made about this encounter because this story has gone on long enough. So after that, Lewa went back once more to start a new cycle. Aside from a few unreachable sidequests, there was only one place left…*

Tatl: To Ikana Canyon to climb the bigger mountain.

Lewa: Works for me, then.

*As Lewa was walking, some prancing Toa of Shadow guy with a big grin crashed into him.*

Toa Ahkmou: Watch where you're going, ya fool!

Lewa: Watch where you're going… ya fool!

Tatl: Who is that big creepy weirdo?

Lewa: I don't know… for some reason, I feel like I've known-met him a long time…

*Lewa thinks back to Metru Nui, back when he was going to visit Nokama and when he initially met Vhisola in his dimension… there was a Matoran named Ahkmou…*

Lewa: Now I remember! I met him when he was a little creepy weirdo!

Tatl: But how is that possible?

Lewa: They don't call me "Hero of Time" for nothing. Besides, I live-dwell far from here in a place called Metru Nui.

Tatl: Never heard of it.

Lewa: At least there, things made sense.

Tatl: Okay, I'm going to say this one more time. You're a moron…

Lewa: But I'm not crazy. You've been there with me, so surely you'd remember it?

Tatl: You are also forgetting that I'm not this "Navi" you keep calling me, and the fact that I'm not aware of whatever you had done in the past. I almost pity this "Navi" for what you put her through. I can only wonder how it is she put up with you and your insane antics.

*So sometime later, Lewa made it over to Ikana Canyon, passing through all the undead ninjas who lurked below…*

Lewa: Why are we in dead-land?

Tatl: Because that's all Ikana Canyon is… the land of the dead. There's even this huge graveyard up ahead.

Lewa: Can we go back to the Great Bay?

Tatl: No! We have to finish this job and wrap up the series so I don't have to spend another moment with you.

Lewa: Okay… *As he walks, he runs into Ahkmou again.*

Ahkmou: You got a lot of nerve coming here.

Lewa: Why?

Akhmou: This is my place, get your own. You got a nice sword there.

Lewa: Uh… why aren't you a Po-Matoran?

Ahkmou: How odd of you to ask. Some guy with a mask gave me like a huge power boost and look at me now. Did I mention that's a nice sword you got?

Lewa: Weird… and yeah, you did.

Akhmou: Can I hold it?

Lewa: I don't see the bad-harm in that. *As Lewa hands him the sword, Tatl glows red and starts to attack his face.*

Ahkmou: What is this thing?! It's glowing red! Call it off! *Akhmou prances away like the half woman half man he was and into his secret hideout.*

*Lewa goes to the graveyard where there is a scary man walking around, and then he spots a giant overgrown Stalchild-looking thing.*

Lewa: I will wake him up! *He takes out the ocarina and plays the Santana of Awakening.*

Tatl: Don't you mean Sonata?

*No, I mean Santana of Awakening. That's when Carlos Santana himself appears and begins to play some of his signature riffs on his guitar. That woke up the sleeping undead giant, as his eyes glowed red and he roared back to life, getting up and destroying the bridge.*

Lewa: Ahh! Skelly thing!! *Lewa unleashes fury on him, a combination of his skyblaster, his Toa powers, and whatever other items he had at his disposal.*

Captain Keeta: Stop! Yield your weapons!

Lewa: It talks?!

Captain Keeta: Yes… I am Captain Keeta…

Lewa, suspicious: Sure, you are…

Tatl: And I'm Xena, warrior princess.

*I guess in an effort to save time, Lewa gets to talking with Captain Keeta, atop of the bridge that was destroyed when he initially awoke by the Santana of Awakening. And in another effort to save time, this is the end of the chapter. Bye.*

*And we're back now, because 2 years later I stopped being lazy.*

*As I am feeling somewhat lazy today, why don't we get to the main point of this chapter then, since we end up covering a lot of ground…*

Captain Keeta: And that's why I'm here.

Lewa: So you're a spirit meander-wandering around in the afterlife and you want to rest peacefully?

Captain Keeta: Yeah, pretty much. In that chest lies my power… *He points over to a chest.*

Lewa: Okay.

Captain Keeta: If you see my men, tell them that the war is over.

Lewa: I don't know what war, but okay, whatever you say.

Captain Keeta: Permission to take leave, Captain?

*There is a dramatic pause as Lewa and Captain Keeta face each other, but Lewa does something valiant for once since losing his mind and gives a salute to the dead captain.*

Captain Keeta: Sir, yes, sir! *Captain Keeta's skeleton collapses and his spirit leaves forever, now free from being bonded to this realm of the living.*

Lewa: Okay, what did Captain Skelly-thing leave me? *Lewa flies over to the chest and opens it, and thus he gets the Captain's hat.*

Tatl: So what do we do now?

Lewa: All right, now I can finally haunt people!

*Lewa puts it over his mask and jumps down and meets with Dampe the slow-moving grave keeper…*

Dampe: AAAAHHH! I thought they didn't come out in the daytime! *At that moment, Dampe starts running a few laps around the graveyard before eventually running back into his house.*

Lewa: Cool, I'm a ghost now! I'm off to go haunt people so they'll give me money!

Tatl: You distasteful fool, we have work to do!

Lewa: Like what?

Tatl: Read Natalie's strategy guide, see for yourself.

Lewa, skimming: Let's see... Apparently I'm going grave robbing. Well... hopefully me or any of my descendants won't have to do this. I don't like this.

Tatl: I don't either, but well... I guess if it's really the only other way we can get this quest done, then we have no choice.

*Lewa waited until nightfall and then no sooner did the sun set, many stalchildren appeared by some graves, guarding them… and whatever that guy's doing.*

Tatl: Why is he laughing like a moron on top of that grave?

Lewa: Beats me. Hey, laughing boy!

Stalchild 1: Captain, sir! *He stops and salutes Lewa.* It's been a while since, we've seen you, sir. Everyone, give the catain your attention.

*All the stalchildren stop and pay attention to Lewa.*

Lewa: This is like Thriller meets Bad Romance…

Stalchild 1: We've been guarding this grave like you asked us to, we're awaiting your next order.

Lewa: Uh… the war is over?

Stalchild 1: What shall we do? Guard the grave or open it?

Lewa: Open it!

Stalchaild 1: Open it?

Lewa: Yes! What is this, and episode of Blues Clues? And after you do that, I want to make a movie-film! It'll have a city that's underground and there'll be dancing skelly-things!

*As the Stalchildren open the grave, Lewa goes inside and raids the grave, which makes him a grave robber to an extent, another thing I look down on. Lewa then finds out whose grave this is, the hard way…*

Flat: I am Flat, one of two ghost brother composers for the Ikana royal family.

Lewa: What's with all the ghosts and Night Nurses after Halloween, Lord of shadows?

Lord of shadows: Why do you have the same dialogue as 2 years ago, Lewa? Besides, it's October, so it's perfect now!

Lewa: Fine. So, gruesome, where's your brother?

Flat: Oh, Sharp, brother… He sold his soul to Karzahni and now he's probably miserable. If you ever see him, do me a favor. Play him a song for me. The rain shall be my tears, the thunder shall be my fury…

*And thus Lewa got the Song of Storms.*

SlimKirby, to the music: A down up, A down up. A down up. This is the Song of Storms, this is the Song of Storms.

Lewa: Okay, I'll do that for you, then.

*Lewa, tired, fell asleep, considering there wasn't much else to do until the next day technically speaking. Remember back in the Dimwit of Time when he was tormented by those sort of nightmares from Antroz? This time, he was being tormented again, but by someone completely different…*

Lewa: Who's there?

*Female giggling.*

Female: My, how little they remember.

Lewa: I don't know you!

Female: Oh, my mistake… I should have introduced myself to you properly…

*The female figure stepped out from the shadows, revealing her form. Her voice was oddly very soothing and accented, yet her appearance was foreboding and almost haunting.*

Elitha: Heh heh heh…

Lewa: O_O That mask?!

*Elitha starts to move around in an erratic fashion, almost frightening really. When she spoke, it was to sing a song that would forever haunt Lewa forever. And no, I'm not talking about the Call me maybe song.*

Elitha: It's critical, 'cause your body's going to rock just like a chemical. Makes you bouncing around the block just like an outlaw. We're going to take it to the top, twelve o'clock, that's it. Guess who's on the night shift?

*Lewa tries to back away and hold his sword out, but it doesn't prove to be much use as Elitha continues to approach him.*

Elitha: Because tonight I'm working over time… Are you ready to cross the line? Because I'll treat you until the break of dawn… you're not alone…

Lewa: Don't get closer!

Elitha: Who you going to call?

*As the music of Night Nurse continues, Elitha throws aside Lewa's sword and knocks pushes him back into a wall, cornered like a Rahi in a cage.*

Elitha: Don't wanna be your lover, oh no. But I could your remedy, oh-oh. I don't wanna be your lover, oh no, but I can be your remedy, your cure…

Lewa: I'm scared…

*Elitha uses her powers as the music continues to paralyze Lewa and "chain" him to a wall, almost defenseless.*

Elitha: Who you gonna call?

Lewa: Navi? Natalie? Tahu… Time for a quick-save, please! Please?!

*The music continues as Elitha summons her scissor scythe and walks to Lewa, ready to "give him his prescription…" of death... But before Elitha can make her last attack at Lewa Freddy Kruger style, Lewa wakes up, scared to death.*

Tatl: What's wrong with you?

Lewa, panting: I don't know!!

Edited by ShadowBionics, Oct 05 2012 - 01:51 AM.

[ShadowBionics]

Since there's only 4 chapters left, including this one, I'm going to try and start cranking these out a little bit quicker to make up for lost time and to prepare for the third part of this series. Here is chapter 20, somewhat altered to be more current. This and the next 4 chapters are Halloween-themed, ironically. But when I wrote these, it was November and December, so it wasn't fitting. Well, 2 years later, now it is. So I had to kind of change some of the jokes that poked at how out of season it was.


*Sometime after Lewa managed to recover from his nightmare (which is much shorter than when I recovered from the actual thing the nightmare was a spoof of), Lewa resumed being a grave robber for the next few days… and there isn't too much to note so Lewa began yet another cycle.*

Lewa: Something tells me to go to where the river dried up.

Tatl: What does?

Lewa: The strategy guide.

Tatl: Oh, well if you say so.

Lewa: I wonder what's the deal with that music-house up there? It's odd-looking.

*Lewa passed the house and went to the hole in the wall where the water was said to have dried up, but by doing so he triggered something very wrong…*

Sharp: You, so full of life, dare to enter this place of death?!

Lewa: Yeah, I do, because Natalie's stragey guide told me to!

Sharp: Then you will suffer.

*Lewa starts to have his lifeforce drained the more he lingered inside of the cavern.*

Lewa: Maybe a song'll cheer him up.

*Lewa plays the Song of Healing without lyrics and something odd comes about Sharp.*

Sharp: That song… it is so soothing… and yet, it has no meaning for me. Now die.

Lewa: Well, so much for that.

Tatl: What about that other song you learned?

Lewa: Oh, that's right!

SlimKirby: A down up, A down up. A down up…

*Lewa plays the Song of Storms and something else odd comes about Sharp.*

Sharp: That song…

Lewa: Yeah, some guy with a stick says the thunder is his rage and the rain is his tears.

*Sharp lets out a loud bellow and is violently thrown back as the water starts to return and it flows back out throughout the canyon, meandering naturally once again.*

Lewa: That was random.

Sharp: Oh, Flat, dear brother…

Lewa: Yeah, that's his name!

Sharp: For so long we served the Ikana royal family.

Lewa: That part I got.

Sharp: I have lived in much regret in my afterlife.

Tatl: Isn't that an oxymoron?

Lewa: Did you just call me a moron?

Tatl: Look who's finally catching on.

Sharp: I must make up for my mistake by helping you because I think somehow you'll make everything better. I'll give you an audience with the king.

Lewa: All right. When can I see him?

Sharp: After you go through the palace of death.

Lewa: Darn it! That's just cheap!

*Lewa leaves and he decided to break into the music-house like a prowler, but there he gets a surprise.*

Lewa: Mummy!!

*Indeed… actually, it was a guy wrapped up in bandages with a hangover, but Lewa was too dumb to tell the difference. For laughs, he tried to play the Song of Healing on him and what it did next surprised Lewa…*

Lewa: How did he turn into a regular guy?

*A mask fell to the floor…*

Pamela: Daddy?

Father: Pamela?

Lewa: How'd I get into a soap opera?

*The girl ran to her father, embracing him as he embraced her back.*

Lewa: That was a rip-off! I came into the music-house and there's nothing to do with music! I'm going to swipe-steal this mask and go on my way!

*Ticked off, Lewa takes the mask and breaks into Ikana Castle. Screw the Gibdo sidquest, I hated that thing with a passion. During Lewa's senseless ravage, he acquired the mirror shield… with the scary face on it…*

Lewa: Let's see this guy and get it over with.

*As he laid seige to the palace, he was attacked by many Garo ninja masters, but he took care of them as if they were nothing, that was how angry he was.*

Tatl: Don't you think you're taking this too far?

Lewa: I wanted the music-house to be something special, but it just had nothing in it!

Tatl: I'll take that as a no.

*Lewa took care of the Ikana ninjas and made it to the throne room.*

Igos du Ikana: What the blaze are you doing here?

Lewa: I came here to talk to you.

Igos: In that case… kill the fool, henchmen!

*The two henchies at both sides of the throne spring into action, flailing their swords around. Lewa puts on the Captain's hat and they both stop in their tracks. Igos himself takes notice for himself, too.*

Igos: Can it be? Is it…? Captain Keeta? It is Keeta! It's been forever since I last saw you.

Lewa: Been there, done that.

Igos: But you're so…

Lewa: So what?

Igos: TINY!!! You almost had me fooled there for a moment! Your trickery will get you nowhere!

Lewa: What?! No, I am Captain Keeta!

*Both of the henchies, one broad and one lean, start to come at him again.*

Lewa: You guys wanna march? *He puts on the Bremen's mask and starts to play a tune on the ocarina. Under the control of Lewa's charisma, both of the henchies start to march along to Lewa and his marching song of patriotism.*

Tatl: What is the point of this?

*Lewa continues marching the big bad henchies around until he gets to close to Igos du Ikana, who proceeds to kick him without getting up from his throne, breaking his control.*

Lewa: I guess they don't wana march. Fine, screw you then. *Lewa fires his skyblaster at them, but misses and hits a window, letting in the light…*

Igos: *gasp* You dare bring light into my lair?!

Lewa: Uh… yeah. And I'd do it again! *He fires at the other window and lets light in again, shining it at his two lackies and defeating them easily.*

Igos: If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself, I guess.

Tatl: Wait, that thing you got fires light spheres at him.

Lewa: Right.

Tatl: And light hurts them.

Lewa: Right.

Tatl: Why don't you just fire at him instead?

Lewa: I don't see what you're getting at.

Tatl *groans.*

*Lewa takes a few shots at Igos du Ikana until by some miracle he manages to take care of him.*

Lacky 1: You fool, thisi s all your fault!

Lacky 2: My fault? No, it's your fault!

Igos: Shut up! Both of you! Well, you've proven yourself worthy to me, limegreen freak.

Lewa: Yeah, you don't have a body left.

Igos: It's just a flesh wound.

Lewa: But you're dead, you don't have flesh. And you're whole-body is gone!

Igos: It is just a flesh wound. I'm invincible!

Natalie: You're a loony.

Igos: Now then, if you want to get into the Stone Tower, you need this song.

Lewa: Figured that.

Igos: Take out that potato thing you play and get ready.

*And this Lewa learns the Elgy of Emptyness, which is a song easier pronounced than played. In playing it, Lewa creates a weird duplicate of himself.*

Lewa: What in Karzahni's back hair is that thing?! It scares the live-lights out of me! Kill that thing!

Igos: That is your loyal soldier.

Lewa: What if I don't want him?

Igos: Relax, you only need him to press down on some switches. You can only make one of these in your current form.

Lewa: What if I took on different forms?

Igos: Then you could make more of them. But each one will be more scarier than the last.

Lewa: Okay, works for me.

*Lewa goes over to the entrance to the Stone Tower and gets yet one more surprise…*

Lewa: Holy Mata Nui! You expect me to scale-climb that thing?!

Tatl: If you want to get this over with, then yeah!

Lewa: Whoever's behind this is going to get it…

*Somewhere far away…*

Shigeru Miyamoto: Ha ha ha ha!!

Greg Farshtey: Ha ha ha ha!!

Christina Aguilera: Ah-ha ha ha ha!!

*The dark trio relishes in laughing maniacally while the fire burns behind them and their devil horns grow out…*

*Lewa began his ruthless climbing up the wall to make it to the Stone Tower Temple. It was a long and tedious process, much like the actual game's version. Lewa was learning to use the Elegy of Emptiness as he went along, creating clones of himself, Whenua, and Tarix to hold down the switches that would grant him access to the temple. As for the Deku Scrub (the scariest one of them all), it was too light and couldn't hold down a switch so Lewa relied on on just those three clones of himself to get there. In the end, it paid off and he made it to the top. Now he was ready to begin the temple and finish his quest to rescue the Four Giants and defeat the Night Nurse/Black Widow Elitha acting through Remote…*

Lewa: This has better be worth the time and trouble.

Edited by ShadowBionics, Oct 05 2012 - 01:48 AM.

[Phovos the Raptor]

Awesome, Monty Python reference!

[ShadowBionics]

Glad you caught that reference. When I was looking at the scene from the game, that particular scene from Monty Python popped into my head, so when I was spoofing it I couldn't resist making the reference.

Chapter 21. Not including that 24th chapter, there's only 2 more to go after this. Not sure if I will post the 24th chapter on here due to its odd nature.


*From that point on, Lewa storms the temple, showing no mercy as he was determined to put an end to all the temple stuff and finish off his business. Switching between all of his forms, he would eventually get through the temple, beat a bunch of ninjas, fight some freaky vampire guy who is in no way a rip-off of Myotismon, and discover a secret…*

Lewa: I have to turn the temple upside down?!

Tatl: Okay, nothing weird about that.

*This almost reminds me of that silly pop song by some group from the 90's called the A*teens that is called "Upside down," and thanks to my cousins for forever getting that silly song stuck in my head. Ignoring that, Lewa learns more and figures out what he had to do, first by exiting the temple and shooting the red jewel just outside the entrance with light, and lucky for him he had plenty of that. He goes back outside and takes a shot at the jewel, literally turning his world upside down.*

Lewa: What happens if I fall of the edge? Will I fall-land in the sky? But how can I do that?

Tatl: At this point, I don't care because nothing in this story makes sense.

*Lewa goes back into the temple, now turned upside down and looking much different than before.*

Lewa: Okay, what just happened? The doors are flip-turned upside down! What's going on?!

Tatl: It doesn't matter; we're close to ending this. Just get to the boss chamber and finish whatever's in there off!

Lewa: Okay...

*It was easier said than done.*

Lewa: Yeah, no kidding.

*...As Lewa has to plow through more monsters, including this one with the giant eyeball.*

Lewa: It's the giant eyeball! *He fires at it, killing it.*

Tatl: That was random.

*A chest appears and then Lewa claims the Giant's Mask for himself.*

Lewa: It looks like one of those Ninja guy's faces.

Tatl: Whatever, just keep moving!

*To the boss chamber, that was where the pair had to go to next. In due time, Lewa evaded most of the traps and made it in...*

Lewa: I'm Swiss cheese!

Tatl, angered: GO! *She pushes him down into the hole where Lewa ends up in some weird desert-like world. And that is when the giant masked insect Twinmold with its two freakish heads pops out from the sand.*

Lewa: Holy mother of Makuta! That thing is huge! How do I fight that?

*Lewa then remembered the upside down ninja mask and put it on, hoping it would help somehow. The mask rewrote his DNA like the other transformation masks and Lewa let out a painful yell as his body grew and expanded to the point he could almost touch the sky.*

Lewa: I'm a giant now! Let's go stomp-smashing stuff!

Tatl: This is no time for that, fight him!

Lewa: I can't hear you, Navi, you're so small and I'm so big!

Tatl: It's Tatl!!!

Lewa: I love you, too.

*Twinmold strikes at Lewa, making him angry.*

Lewa: I know you did not just hit me...

*Lewa starts to go after them, hitting their tails with his sword. In a matter of moments, Twinmold and its moldy moldy-ness falls before Lewa's blade... after he got stuck in the sand a few times and had to fight him again and again.*

Lewa: Okay, now to go for the magic exit...

*Lewa goes over and claims the boss remains and I think we know what happens next...*

Lewa: Okay, lay it on me!

Tatl: Okay, we've helped all of you! Now will you help us?

Giant 4: Fine, you got us, yah? If you want our help so bad, we'll give it to you. If there's anything that you need, you got it. Just call on us.

Tatl: Okay, we'll call you from the clock tower in Clock Town.

Lewa: Clook Town.

Tatl: What is it with you and calling people and things the wrong name? You call me Navi, Natasha Natalie, Clock Town Clook Town... what's the matter with you?

Giant 4: Stop with your stupid arguing, yah? It's starting to get annoying. Now go away, I can't cancel dinner with myself again. Yah?

*Lewa and Tatl are sent away and the valley of death is less about death now, not to mention the ninjas are gone.*

Lewa: Only one more thing to do.

Tatl: You don't mean...

Lewa: Yeah. That one.

Tatl: This ought to be fun...

*Yup, that's right, it's time for the longest side quest of the game...*

Anju: Do you have a reservation here?

Lewa: Uh... course I do. I'm Lewa.

Anju: Ah, yes, you do.

Lewa: Really? Uh, okay. I mean, of course I do.

*Lewa gets the key from her and acting on what the guide tells him, plays a lot of the waiting game... *

Anju: Do you have a reservation

Onu-Toa: Yeah I do. Under Lewa-Onu.

Lewa: What? My ears are burning...

Anju: Lewa-Onu? We have one close to that, but...

Other Lewa: That's okay, it's nice weather anyway. I'll sleep outside Onu.

Anju: I'm sorry.

Lewa: Oh, wow...

Other Lewa, to Lewa: It's a hard world to live in Onu...

Lewa: Uh... I'm with you, brother.

*As Lewa and Lewa converse, Anju meets with the creepy postman.*

Anju: This letter! Where'd you get it?

Postman: The postbox.

Anju: That's not what I meant.

Lewa: What now? *After a long conversation, Lewa decides to make her day better and put on the Kafei mask he got off-screen because I didn't know how to work that part in.*

Anju: Ah! You're also looking for Kafei? I have a request.

Lewa: For you, I'd do anything.

Anju: Meet me in the kitchen at 11:30...

Lewa: At night?

Anju: At night.

Lewa: ...

Elitha, mentally: Don't wanna be your lover, oh no...

Lewa: Okay, I'll be there. Not because there's some scary black-widow who's going to kill me or anything.

Anju: Thank you.

*Time passes and we fast forward to night time...*

Lewa: Did she stand me up?

Tatl: She didn't make a date with you. Even if she did, it'd be no surprise if she did.

*Anju comes walking in.*

Lewa: You're late.

Anju: I'm sorry to trouble you so late at night. It's about him... Kafei.

Lewa: Yeah, tell me more.

Anju: I received a letter from... him. Funny, getting a letter from a missing person.

Lewa: Hard to argue with that.

Anju: There's no mistaking it's from him. It's clear to me... Here, take my letter. Put it in a postbox. When he gets it, you should be able to meet him!

Lewa: But I'm not the postman.

*Despite this, Lewa does what he's told. He passes by Lewa and put it in a postbox to wait yet again... Time marches forward. At about 2:30, Lewa waits at the laundry pool. He had seen someone, wearing a Keaton mask, looking like the mask he was given there, he had some suspicions on if this was the person...*

*The postman comes and rings the bell and out comes the child Lewa had his suspicions of. As they exchange the letter, Lewa runs inside like a prowler and slams the door behind him.*

Tatl: Breaking and entering... How is it you're the hero of this story?

Lewa: I beat Twinmold and that temple, I suffered enough!

[Phovos the Raptor]

Aw, poor Lewa, being all confused and dragged through that weird side quest. And having to fight Twinmold, but that didn't really last very long. Could probably have done with a bit more action there.

[ShadowBionics]

Probably could have, but I didn't. Partially because as you can probably tell by my writing, I disliked that fight and found it boring and partially because Twinmold doesn't even attack you. Both "worms" are just flying around, not even paying attention to you for the most part in the actual game fight. Thinking back, I could probably have made fun of how the worms are minding their own business, but for now let's just blame 2010 me for not thinking of that sooner. Onto chapter 22, the penultimate chapter of the series not including the obscure chapter 24... which I think this story would work without it. However, it might pop up in some other form...


*The child returned inside and found Lewa waiting there for him like a jolly prowler.*

Kafei: Green mask, green armor. Anju wrote about you in her letter. You are looking for Kafei.

Lewa: Yeah, so you gonna help us?

Kafei: Can you keep a secret?

Lewa: Sometimes.

Kafei: Okay. *He then removes the Keaton mask and shows his face.*

Lewa, gasp: It's Pat the Baker!

Kafei: I am Kafei.

Tatl: The Kafei we're looking for is an adult! When I see you, I see a child!

Kafei: I was cursed by the shadow man wearing a mask.

Lewa: Remote?

Kafei: And it's not like I'm hiding because of how I look, it's because my wedding ceremony mask got stolen by some prancing freak with a big grin on his face.

Lewa: Don't I know someone like that?

Tatl: Well you're stupid, just like my partner!

Lewa: I'm right next to you.

Kafei: I was quite happy before my wedding, so I was a natural target to be turned into what I am now.

Tatl: I pity you.

Kafei: Don't cry for me, for I am already lost. I know she is worried, but I can't go see Anju yet. I made a promise to her that I can't break.

Lewa: Like in Harry Potter? Will you die if you fail?

Lord of shadows: That's the unbreakable vow, fool.

Kafei: I promised I'd bring the wedding ceremony mask and greet her. This pendant, give it to Anju.

*Lewa gets the Pendant of Memories.*

Kafei: Keep what we just talked about a secret.

*So then Lewa returns to the Inn and give Anju the Pendant of Memories.*

Anju: That's it! I'll wait for him.

Lewa: Okay then...

*Left to wait again, Lewa was hanging, waiting to see what happened next. He had no choice but to go back to the Laundry pool after a while...*

Shopkeeper: Huh? You the guy?

Lewa: So what if I am?

Shopkeeper: Got a message from Kafei. I've known him since he was real little, but when he showed up in that brat body, I didn't know what to say. It took me one glance at that Keaton mask to realize I was looking at my old friend. I gave it to him when he was little, I'm surprised he kept it so well.

Lewa: That's real nice. Tell me what I came here for and I'll just walk-pass on my way.

Shopkeeper: I'm not sure why, but I'm going to give this to you. *Lewa gets the Keaton mask.* Kafei wants you to give this to his mother. *Lewa gets some express mail to his mother as well.*

Lewa: Anything else?

Shopkeeper: Yeah, this guy Ahkmou from Ikana village. He came into my shop sometime back and Kafei loses it, going after the guy. He wanted to pawn off this mask, but I told him it wasn't worth anything and told him to get lost.

Lewa: That's the guy!

*Lewa runs out the door.*

Shopkeeper: Yeah, just like that, in fact.

*So somewhere in Ikana village, Lewa returns to where he originally encountered Ahkmou, although he was not there. He instead found Kafei hiding behind a boulder, waiting for something.*

Kafei: I found him, lime green man. His name is Ahkmou, he's some Toa of Shadow and he's using this place as a safe house for keeping his stolen goods. He came to the shop last night and I followed him.

Lewa: Stalkerism...

Kafei: His storage is on the other side of the rock door. Only Ahkmou can open it, so the only way in is to wait for him to arrive.

*So after some more waiting, Ahkmou and his freak self arrives, opens the door, and runs inside like a little girl. Kafei runs in after him. Lewa follows along.*

*Lewa goes through a door, which locks behind him. He spots Kafei, who spots a mask on a pedestal.*

Kafei: It's the Sun's Mask! *Kafei approaches the mask, but as he gets too close, and alarm goes off and the mask gets put onto a conveyer belt, which led all the way to the incinerator...*

Kafei: Now I've done it.

Tatl: You sure did.

*Kafei steps away and the door closes. He looks back to see it was a switch he stepped on that kept the door open. From then on, Lewa and Kafei worked together pushing various switches to get to the other end before the mask would be burned to nothing. They were successful...*

Kafei: There's still time, I have to get back to town!

*Kafei makes a run for it. In all that time Lewa wasted, it was already closer to midnight. It was now literally a race against the clock as Lewa flew back to Clock Town to make it back in time and deliver that letter.*

Lewa: I'm not the postman, but I know who is. *He goes into the post office to find a very frantic postman rocking back and forth.*

Postman: I know I should flee, but it's not written on the schedule!

Lewa: O_O Are you kidding me with this? I'll make your life full-useful again. Take this letter.

Postman: It's priority mail seal, too! This is the highest of priorities! I'll get on it! *He takes the letter and starts to go on his way, slamming the door in front of Lewa.*

Lewa: Don't slam the door in front of my face! *Lewa breaks through the door and follows the postman to the milk bar. The postman goes through and slams the door in front of Lewa's face again.* Don't slam the door in my face! *Lewa breaks the door down and follows the postman again where he talks to Kafei's mom, AKA the postmaster.*

Postman: I have a delivery for you, postmistress.

Kafei's mother: It's from Kafei! I knew something good would come in the end. You're still here? Everyone has left now! Flee! That's an order!

Vakama: That's an order.

Postman: Understood. *He ditches the postman hat and runs out like a fool.*

Lewa: He can't order himself to quick-run, but when someone else does it...? Never mind. I'll take this now. *Lewa takes the postman hat and runs to meet with Anju.*

Anju: I have decided to wait for him. I've made my promise.

Lewa: Okay. I'll just keep you company until then.

*Time passes.*

Lewa: So how are you making it as an inn-keeper in today's economy?

*Time passes.*

Lewa, singing: We are strong. No one can tell use we're wrong...

*Time passes.*

Lewa: Why are there three Iruini's in this story?

*Time passes.*

Lewa: You heard of this guy Lord of shadows? He's mad-crazy.

*Just then, Kafei comes in.*

Lewa: I was just keeping her company until you got here.

*Both of them meet, their eyes locked on one another. Anju with her Moon mask and Kafei with his Sun mask...*

Anju: I... I have met you before. What a familiar scent. Long, long ago, yes. We made a promise. We were young. The masks of the sun and moon. We were to exchange them on the day of the carnival of time.

Kafei: Anju, I'm sorry I was late.

Anju: Welcome home. *They embrace each other for a long moment as the moon drew closer.*

Tatl: I know they're lovers, but they look like mother and child.

*Through their love, they are able to come together as a couple and exchange masks, thus making the Couple's mask.*

Kafei: We have exchanged our oaths and have become a couple.

Anju: You are our witnesses. Please take this mask.

*Thus Lewa got the Couple's mask.*

Lewa: I don't get it, but okay.

Kafei: Please take refuge, we are fine here.

Anju: We shall greet the morning... together.

Lewa: That's fine and all... but I'm going to make sure you have a morning to greet! *Lewa races against the clock once more and makes it to the top of the clock tower, where Remote with his remote and Tael would be awaiting him for the final showdown of destiny...*

Edited by ShadowBionics, Oct 17 2012 - 02:25 PM.

[Phovos the Raptor]

That's a bit of a pain in the backside for a mission, isn't it?

Can't wait for the final battle thingy.

[ShadowBionics]

Imagine how I felt doing this mission, then. Not only that, but to get everything you need, you have to do this mission twice. Once to give the letter to Kafei's mother yourself for a bottle of Chateau Romani, and again to give to the Postman to give to her to get the postman's hat. So yeah, this mission can be a pain to do. And in a bonus chapter of the Mask Chronicles, I'm going to show off what the Couple's Mask does...

(For those of you who know, don't say anything because then you'll ruin the joke of it)


Well, wait no more, because here is the "formerly" last chapter of the story, chapter 23. It's going to be full of a lot of unexpected twists revolving around the main villain (who technically, you know who she is by now) and the giants as well.


*The moon was full (and looking SO SAD) when the clock struck midnight. Remote was tossing his remote into the air and catching it repeatedly.*

Remote 2.0: I wonder if some foolish mortals will come by to try and stop me.

Lewa: Wonder no more, weird-freak!

Remote 2.0: You again…

Tatl: Tael!

Tael: About time you got here, woman.

Tatl: Get out of the way before he hits you!

Remote 2.0: Ah, yes, Tael, my righthand man… don't talk out of line! *He strikes Tael for no reason.*

Tatl: Stop hitting my brother! You think you're our friend after that?

Remote 2.0: Well, whatever.

Lewa: You're not going to drop the moon on Clook Town, I won't let you!

Remote 2.0: Who told you about my super-secret plan?! No matter… at least you're going to get to see the plan in action. All right, Luna… Prepare to be crushed!

Lewa: Did he say that last time or was it something else?

*Remote taps into the Elitha, throws his arms back, and emits a high-pitched scream. No sooner, the moon starts to draw closer to the town.*

Remote 2.0: Who ya gonna call?

Lewa: O_O What did you say…?

Remote 2.0: Strange… as if I was willed to say that… *As Remote starts acting confused as to why he was acting strange, Lewa took the moment to play the Oath to Order.*

Lewa: Okay, let's see if these guys actually help.

Remote 2.0: What's going on here?! No!!!

*As the cataclysm continues, the four giants come from each of the four compass directions, ready to stop the moon.*

Giant 1: My name is Ringo, and I play the drums.

Giant 2: My name's Paul and I play bass.

Giant 3: My name is George and I play a guitar.

Giant 4: Yah, my name's John and I also play a guitar. And sometimes I play the fool.

*Each of the fab four take 100 steps to the center of the town, put their arms out, and with all their might they manage to stop the moon from coming any closer… then in a matter of moments, it is as though time actually stops.*

Tael: Oh, now look what you did, Remote's unconscious…

Tatl: We came here to save you!

Tael: Oh, yeah, well who's gonna save you, Junior?

Tatl: I told you… *She grabs Lewa's skyblaster.* Don't call me Junior!

Tael: No, sis, don't do it! Don't you think about it now. I was just kidding.

Lewa: You... threatened your own brother.

Tatl: He was getting on my nerves, anyway. He's almost more of a moron than you are.

Female voice: Shut up, both of you!

Lewa: What??

Tatl: Who said that?

*Remote's limp body rises into the air, but it wasn't his voice that came from the mouth… Rather, it was the mask that the puppet wore on its face… it was now in full control and in charge.*

Elitha: You two are the bane of my existence, just what do you want from me? Tell you what? Come and get me if you can… are you man enough to see? Now then… time to move along with the rest of the plan…

*Elitha giggles in a demented sort of manner as she abandons the body of Remote and flies to the moon, which opens its mouth to let her in. From there, she possessed the moon as her new puppet. The eyes of the moon began to glow a haunting bright crimson.*

Elitha/Moon: I shall consume… everything.

*Stronger thanks to the Kanohi Elitha, the moon roars back to life and begins to push back the giants.*

Tatl: Darn it! Now that?

Lewa: We… shoot for the moon!

Tatl, groans: That is such a stupid pun. But are you crazy? You really are as bad as Tael.

Tael: But as long as I'm around, you're just second best.

Tatl: Uh... that didn't even make any sense to what'd going on right now.

Lewa: Come on, Navi!

Tatl: It's Tatl!

Lewa: Now's not the time, we have to quick-run!

*Lewa goes underneath the opening in the moon's mouth where Elitha flew to and he is taken to the surface of the moon.*

Tatl: I guess I have no other choice.

*Tatl goes with him and she is taken to the moon's surface as well, which is not how I imagined it… if anything, it looked more like a forest area, so peaceful and serine.*

Lewa: I think I know where air fresheners come from now…

Tatl: This is nothing like how the surface of the moon should be!

Lewa: You're right… it's much better!

Tatl: Never mind, let's go find this talking mask and beat it to death.

*Lewa runs up to the lone leprechaun tree growing out in the pasture. There is a kid wearing Elitha's mask sitting underneath it.*

Lewa: Hey, kid, have you seen a freak night-nurse mask around here with an exotic voice?

Elitha kid: No… do you like to play games?

Lewa: It depends.

Elitha kid: Why don't we play a game?

Lewa: Okay, I'm game.

Elitha kid: Let's play good guys versus bad guys. You be the bad guy and I'll be the good guy.

Lewa: But I don't wanna be the bad guy!

Elitha kid: I'll give you this cool mask if you agree.

*And thus Lewa got the Fierce Deity's Mask.*

Lewa: It does look cool. Okay, I'll be the bad guy.

Elitha kid: Good…

*That's when they are taken to a strange room, almost like something you'd see in one of those sort of crack-pot dream, and I don't use that term lightly.*

Lewa: I'm scared...

Tatl: Don't let the room get you, just get out there and fight that mask!

Lewa: But where is she?

*The chamber echoes with Elitha's laughter. They both look to the opposite end of the wall where the Kanohi Elitha hung.*

Elitha: Oh, I didn't think you two would come. *The mask lifts off from the wall menacingly, hovering over Lewa and Tatl.*

Lewa: of course we did.

Elitha: Don't you know how evil I am?

Lewa: You're not so hard-tough to beat.

Elitha: Really?

Lewa: Name one bad thing you've done... aside from making Lord of shadows leave BZPower...

Elitha: I'm going to launch a brilliant master plan in the future! And you will all suffer before me!

Lewa, gasping: You... no good... little...

Elitha, laughs: Face it, I'm too much for you to handle.

Lewa: I'm going to have a pleasure-fest killing you!

Elitha: First, why don't we bring in some guests?

*From Lewa, Elitha summons the four boss remains and plants them on the wall. From there, they come off the wall, alive in almost the same manner as the Elitha. They were reincarnated, although not exactly the same way they once were...*

Elitha: Once they were gone, now they are back after 10 years... coming to you from the depths of Karzahni...

Tatl: No...

Elitha: Jerry, George, Kramer, Elaine...

Tatl: No way... you mean...?

Elitha: Yes! Seinfeld Team attack!

Tatl: This doesn't look good...

Lewa: Time to heat things up... *He fires his blaster at Goht/George, setting him on fire. Goht screams in pain as he dies... again, but this time not by crashing into something.*

Elitha: I have more where that came from!

*Lewa repeated the same strategy and met with successful results.*

Lewa: Looks like this show's been canceled.

Elitha: Well... your body's all gray! *She fires her lazors at him, but Lewa dodges them and reflects them back at her with the mirror shield.*

Lewa: Anything else?

Elitha: you bring me no choice... at least you get to die in the presence of my actual form...

*The mask drops down to the floor and the eyes glow bright crimson. The in a matter of moments, the mask grabs loose particles and begins to form a body for itself, clad in red/black armor.*

Lewa: O_O It's a nightmare come true!

*Elitha was laughing evilly as she sprouted wings for herself and summoned her scissor scythe and flame shield.*

Elitha: It's getting critical now, isn't it?

Lewa: No! No, you can't be real!

Elitha: I'm as real as everything and anything, "hero of time."

*The lights in the room darken and Elitha's "song" begins to play.*

Lewa: Not the Night-Nurse song! Wait!

*As Elitha starts to move in an erratic fashion, Lewa puts on Kamaro's mask and taps into its powers... it was Lewa's dancing versus Elitha's dancing now.*

George Michael's voice, singing: And I'm never going to dance again...

Natalie Horler's voice, singing: It's critical, 'cause your body's going to rock just like a chemical.

George Michael's voice: Guilty feelings, got no rhythm...

Elitha: No, his moves are too powerful!

Lewa: That's right, you're not going to kill me Freddy Kruger style!

*On the ropes, Lewa uses a combo of fighting/dancing to throw Elitha around, knocking away her shield and scythe and throwing her against the wall, almost parallel to the way she did to him in the nightmare.*

Elitha: You leave me with no choice then... *Elitha breaks off from the wall and begins to grab more particles around her, becoming much larger and stronger. She trades in her weapons for some spiked whips and she screeches out in a much higher voice.*

Lewa: Another transformation? What are you, Frieza?

Tatl: This looks tough. You might want to use that Fierce Deity's Mask now.

Lewa: Okay, good thought-plan. *Lewa takes the Kamaro's mask off and puts on the Fierce Deity's mask, rewriting his DNA once more.*

Elitha: What?!

Lewa: I have the power!!!

Elitha: Grr... I didn't think he'd actually use it. No matter, this will be our ultimate battle!

*So Lewa and Eltiha get into an epic battle. Elitha charged her whips and threw Lewa back a few times, but he countered by firing beams from his double helix sword, stunning her for some moments. Elitha was still agile and leapt several feet in the air and lashed out at him, giving him some heavy damage. As the battle goes on, Lewa starts to dodge her attacks and is able to get more of his attacks in. Then he stuns her for the last time before he delivers the last blow, silencing Elitha forever...*

Elitha: Party on the top floor...party on the top floor... party on the top-top-top... *Elitha's body stiffens and then begins to crumble away...*

*Back on the outside, the moon, left without Elitha's power, starts to crumble away as well and turn into a huge rainbow. Yeah, I don't get it either. If only my geology teacher could see the logic behind this one, huh? The people in town begin to rejoice now that they are saved.*

Lewa, normal: That was extreme...

Tatl: Tael, what are you doing here?

Tael: What? You should know you don't control me. I play by my own rules and listen to no one else but me.

Happy Mask Salesman: Well, now, looks like you got the mask back for me now, didn't you? It looks like the dark power faded away.

Lewa: What?! Hey, where's my Fierce Deity's mask?

Happy Mask Salesman: The fierceness of the battle must have destroyed it along with the mask's spirit. Pretty ironic if I do say so, myself.

*Unfortunately, the mask salesman doesn't know the truth behind what happened to Elitha's mask, but that is a story for another day...*

Tatl: It's probably for the best, that thing made you into a werido... not that you weren't one before.

Tael: Hey, man, what's with Remote?

Remote: Hey, Paul, is it true what they say about you?

Giant 2: No. It's just a rumor.

Remote: Hey, uh... sorry about the whole moon thing. The mask really took a grip on me.

Lewa: It took a grip on me, too. I understand.

Remote: You know, you remind me of that green guy who taught me that song.

Lewa: That's because I am that guy.

*The Happy Mask Salesman starts to go into his instant-changing poses again...*

Happy Mask Salesman: Looks like I'm no longer needed here. Clock town is safe.

Tatl: Yeah, especially now that you're leaving, you freak!

Happy Mask Salesman: But remember... never dance with another man's potato patch, otherwise I'll rough you up! But before I go, why don't we sing the Song of Healing?!

*Everyone runs away as fast as they can into Clock town, far away from him.*

Happy Mask Salesman: Oh... they're gone. I guess nothing left for me to do now but return to my home planet. *He looks up and then in seconds he is beamed aboard a mother ship with Elitha's mask in hand. The ship then takes off into hyperspace, not to be seen again...*

Tatl: Now that we got away from that freak, it's time for you to go, Lewa.

Lewa: What? But what if I wanted to stay at the carnival? Thought of that?

Tatl: Who cares, you're supposed to leave.

Lewa: Grr. Fine, maybe I'll just try and get back home then...

*So Lewa set off from Alma Nui to try and return home... at least until the Glatorian were on and they needed their lead guitarist back, thus causing some confusion and some brute force to bring Lewa back so he could perform with them. Other than that, he left forever. In the end, everyone was happy, all was well. And somewhere along the line, Natalie took the remote from Lewa (around the time she gave him the strategy guide) and managed to get back home and live happily.*

Kiina: Hey, where's Tarix? It's time for the concert.

*Well, except for that... Oh, well.*

[Phovos the Raptor]

So, according to you, those 4 giants are the Beatles? Note to self, never use Natalie's strategy guide when I play Ocarina of Time...

Nice to see a happy ending! Well done!

[ShadowBionics]

Yeah. It was sort of planned out far in advance when I sort of thought 4 Giants and 4 Beatles. That, and I was listening to "From me to you" around the time I got the idea. ("Just call on me," Oath to order to call the giants...)

Well, since Lewa didn't have Natalie's strategy guide to help him on his first journey, no worries there.

Well, I'm very glad to hear you liked it. This isn't Lewa's only quest, so if you really want to see his further adventures, there's also The Dimwit of Time, the first in the series, as well as Twilight Delinquent, which sees his descendant going on an adventure.

Speaking of that, I figured that I probably should have done this. For those who have never seen the character of Elitha, here is a character reference of her MOC that I made (with wings tucked in) as well as a human/toon form of her.

See Here

She and Natalie are the only ones I have any references for. Of course, I won't really post the Natalie reference unless someone REALLY wants to see her. She's drawn in the same style as the human Elitha is.

Edited by ShadowBionics, Oct 26 2012 - 07:40 PM.