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TMM: Lewa's Mask Chronicles


ShadowBionics

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Hey, everyone, ShadowBionics here again with somewhat of a new comedy. I say that because it's not a new concept but it is new material. For those who aren't familiar with my story of The Moron's Mask, it's a spoof of The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask. In that game, Link goes around collecting a lot of masks through sidequests, a lot of which are omitted from the main spoof. So I decided to make somewhat of a companion story to go along with it. The reason a lot of these are omitted is because it would make the story go on for too long and I didn't know how to fit them in at the time, had I been willing to make them all. These are going to chronicle all of the masks, so some of these will be repeats from TMM, but at this point, the story has only maybe one mask that will be a repeat. So here's the first one. They're going to be very short, compared to the lengthy chapters of TMM, so they're like small little readings to go along with the main story. The Great Fairy’s Mask*Lewa had been in Clock Town for some time now and he noticed some strange orange fairy floating around every now and again.*Lewa: Hey, Navi?Tatl: That’s not my name.Lewa: You’re a fairy, right?Tatl: Gee, I wonder.Lewa: Do you know about that strange orange thing floating around? Is this line in Alice in Wonderland?Tatl: No, Lewa, that’s just a book… that got made into a bunch of different movies. But you do present an interesting point. I’m not sure if that has anything to do with the Great Fairy.Lewa: Great… Fairy?*Yes, the Great Fairy. One of the most scariest things you’ll ever see in your life, looking like some demented witch dressed up in an outfit of leaves and who shrieks moment you see her. Lewa has no memory of encountering the Great Fairy throughout his original journey documented in The Dimwit of Time, but that’s mainly because I as the author took it on myself to make sure NO ONE remembers the Great Fairy and thus all moments referencing the Great Fairies were cut from the original script.*Tatl: Yeah, you know? She rules over all of us fairies.Lewa: Something tells me I remember this… and yet part of me doesn’t want to. I wonder why that is.Tatl: Well, let’s leave this orange thing here and see the Great Fairy. I know where her fountain is in Clock Town.Lewa: You mean “Clook Town.”Tatl: What is it with you and names?!*So Lewa and Tatl went to go see the Great Fairy, expecting to see some scary witch thing, only to see a bunch of orange fairies fluttering about.*Tatl: What happened to the Great Fairy?!Orange fairy: Help me, help me! Remote 2.0 shattered me into pieces.Lewa: You can… break a fairy?Tatl: How is that even possible?! Wait, does that mean he can do that to me?!Orange Fairy: Help me, help me! Find my missing piece.Lewa: I know where that is!*Lewa runs back over to the Landry pool where he last saw her. Upon collecting her, he brings her back to the Great Fairy Fountain, restoring the Great Fairy back to normal and getting the shock of his life.*Great Fairy: *shrieking in pain/laughing in joy/ I DON’T EVEN KNOW, I’M SO SCARED!*Lewa: O_O I think now I know why I don’t remember the Great Fairies from my original journey.Great Fairy: Thank you, young hero. I am the Great Fairy of Magic. I will bestow upon you a gift. Receive it now.Lewa: Um… thank you, but I’m happy--Great Fairy: RECEIVE IT NOW!!Lewa, whimpering: Okay, okay, I’ll take my gift…*The Great Fairy then produces the Great Fairy’s mask.*Lewa: Uh… what is that freak-ugly thing?Great Fairy: This is the Great Fairy’s Mask. With this, you can help the other Great Fairies throughout all of Alma Nui.Lewa: You mean there’s more of you?!Great Fairy: Yes. All of them have met with a terrible fate.Lewa: Is this like the running joke of this story?Happy Mask Salesman: You’ve met with a terrible fate, haven’t you?Lewa: Would you get away from me?!Tatl: Wait, where did we leave that girl…?*Back in the Clock tower…*Natalie: Hello? Anyone here? You all sort of left me behind and now I’m kind of lost here… Oh…*Back at the Great Fairy fountain*Lewa: I think she’ll be fine. But why do I have to get this mask?!Great Fairy: Help us and we’ll give you cool stuff.Lewa: But is this really worth it? I don’t want to run around with this on my face. I’m going to look like an evil witch with three ponytails and bad eye-shadow and lipstick.Great Fairy: YES! Or else I will haunt you in your sleep.Lewa: NO! I don’t want that. I already have nightmares about Antroz and some Night-nurse mask!Great Fairy: Good.*And so Lewa grudgingly takes the Great Fairy’s mask, despite that he really saw no use to it and despite that he really did not want it at all.*Lewa: How do I get myself into these messes…?

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No idea. And trust me, the Great Fairy is real. You can't make this up. She used to scare me when I was little. She creeps me out still to this day. Why does she scream in pain?! Anyways, time for a new Mask Chronicles. And seeing as Toa Ahkmou was introduced in The Moron's Mask, I think now it's time to properly introduce him.The Blast Mask*It was close to midnight as Lewa and Tatl wandered through the northern part of Clock Town, when Lewa noticed an elderly woman walking in the distance. He also noticed an odd Toa hiding in the bushes.*Lewa: Hey, what’s up, creepy guy I’ve never met before?Toa Ahkmou: Oh, nothing. I’m not doing anything wrong. Whatever gave you that impression?Lewa: I… never snap-jumped to that conclusion.Toa Ahkmou: Oh. Okay. Because I’m not doing anything wrong!Lewa: I already said I never said you were!Toa Ahkmou: Well, I’m just making sure.Lewa: Well, it’s true.Toa Ahkmou: All right. So we’re good.Lewa: Yes. Now I’m going to get away from you and you just stay here being a smiley-creepy weirdo.*As Lewa walks away from the odd Toa of Shadow, Tatl starts knocking him on the head.*Tatl: Hey, tall, green, and clueless? Don’t you think you ought to do something?Lewa: What do you mean?Tatl: He’s obviously up to no good.Lewa: But he already said he wasn’t. In fact, we had a long-winded conversation about it.Tatl: There’s something not right about him.Lewa: Now that you mention it, there’s something about him that seems familiar…Tatl: Let’s go talk to the old lady.Lewa: What for?Tatl: Well, you never know.Lewa: Hey, old lady? Why are you out night-strolling?Turaga Jerzel: Oh, nothing, I’m just bringing in some new merchandise for the bomb shop.Lewa: But it’s midnight.Turaga Jerzel: Well, I’m very forgetful and I remember things at the last minute.Lewa: Yeah, I’ve been there before…*So Lewa walks away, and as he does, Toa Ahkmou starts prancing out of the bush he was hiding in, still keeping that scary grin on his face.*Toa Ahkmou: Zippidy doo da, zippidy day!*He starts skipping/prancing over to Turaga Jerzel, and as he does, he pushes her over in a harsh manner and steals the bomb bag she was holding.*Turaga Jerzel: Ouch! Watch out!Toa Ahkmou: You’re not the boss of me!*Toa Ahkmou, stealing what he wanted, starts to skip/prance/hop away.*Toa Ahkmou: Zippidy doo da, zippidy day!Turaga Jerzel: Stop! Thief! Give the old lady her luggage back!Tatl: I knew it! Lewa, do something!Lewa: What? Oh, sorry, I was just thinking about Nokama.Tatl: Lewa! Crime! Something! Do!Lewa: Oh. Okay.*Lewa dashes over towards Toa Ahkmou, cornering him behind a tree. He swipes at him with his sword, making Ahkmou drop the bomb bag and making him run around in circles like a scared nitwit.*Toa Ahkmou: Oh, no, I’m caught! Run away, run away!*Ahkmou starts running around in circles before he runs past the guard who just stood there watching the whole thing and did nothing at all to stop it. Lewa picks up the bomb bag and walks back over to the Turaga, returning it to her.*Turaga Jerzel: Thank you. Since he didn’t make off with them, we can finally stop bomb bags in the shop. Maybe I’ll put them out tomorrow.Lewa: I still question why you’re out here so late…Turaga Jerzel: Yes, well… I ought to thank you somehow. I know, take this. It’s a dangerous mask, but you can probably throw your own festival fireworks show.*And thus, Lewa got the Blast mask, which looked round like a bomb, as well as black in color, save for the white skull pattern in the front.*Turaga Jerzel: How do you like it?Lewa, wearing the Blast Mask: I look like the Grim Reaper.Turaga Jerzel: Consider that a perk.Lewa: Wait, so I can explode things with this mask?Turaga Jerzel: Yup.Lewa: Sweet! This opens up many possibilities!Tatl: I should have stayed lost in the Lost Woods.

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  • 6 months later...

How long has it been since I made a chapter to this story? Too long... well, I'm going to try and remedy that now. Here is the third chapter in the Mask Chronicles. I won't delay any longer, since there's already been too many to count.

 

 

 

 

The Bremen Mask

 

*Sometime at night, Lewa and Tatl went wandering around South Clock Town--*

 

Lewa: Clook Town.

 

*SOUTH CLOCK TOWN when they heard some mysterious music being played from the direction of the laundry pool.*

 

Tatl: What is that mysterious music noise? It’s… kinda catchy.

 

Lewa: Say… I know that song!

 

*Without any hesitation, Lewa ran up the stairs that led to the laundry pool with Tatl fluttering behind him, groaning in disapproval as she had no idea what Lewa was getting himself into.*

 

*Upon entering the laundry pool, Lewa was met with a familiar face. Well, familiar to him, but seeing as this was a parallel universe where-- you know, never mind, I couldn’t explain this if I tried. *

 

Guru-Guru: La dah-dah, la dah-dah dah da-da-da-dah. Dah dah da-da-dah, dah dah dah-dah-dah…

 

Lewa: Hey, there, crazy windmill guy!

 

Guru-Guru: Oh…

 

Lewa: The name’s Nobudy.

 

Guru-Guru: Okay. So I’m talking to Nobudy.

 

Lewa: That’s right. *giggles under breath*

 

Tatl: So what are you doing here?

 

Guru-Guru: Ah! A talking light bulb!

 

Lewa: That’s not a light bulb. That’s my fairy, Navi.

 

Tatl: T-A-T-L. What does that spell? MY NAME!

 

Lewa: But she brings up a good point. Why are you out here in the dark?

 

Guru-Guru: They said I was too loud with my music. But I need to practice, so I ended up out here instead.

 

Lewa: Can’t argue with that.

 

Guru-Guru: They got mad… and now I’m sad…

 

Velika: Hey. Rhyming is what I do best. So now go and give your act a rest! *runs off before anyone can catch a glimpse of him.*

 

Tatl: Who was that?

 

Lewa: Most likely a minor character with no influence on us whatsoever. Anyway, go on.

 

Guru-Guru: I’ll just think about the past to keep my mind off the bad. Like when I wanted to be a concert pianist.

 

Lewa: Oh, cool. How did it go?

 

Guru-Guru: Well, it was all going well and I took lessons. I was very good at it. But then…

 

*Guru-Guru becomes very angry and the music he’s playing becomes very fast and hectic to match his mood.*

 

Guru-Guru: It was the monkey! The monkey took my spot! He took the spot that was so rightfully mine! I was left without a dream to go after! It made me so very mad!

 

*Guru-Guru then turned happy and his music was happy and cheerful again, as if. Lewa and Tatl however were very scared of what they just witnessed.*

 

Guru-Guru: That was when I joined and animal troupe with dogs and donkeys and zimzimeroos and such.

 

Lewa: What’s a… that last thing you said?

 

Guru-Guru, angry: I’ll ask the questions!

 

Lewa, scared: Okay…

 

Guru-Guru, happy: Why could a…? Why could a…? Why could a Matoran join?

 

*Lewa was about to answer, but he was too scared to say much of anything else, so he kept his mouth shut.*

 

Guru-Guru: Because I told them so! I was tired of being picked last for softball, so I said that I could join whatever I wanted and not get picked last!

 

Tatl, quietly: This guy is scaring me.

 

Lewa, quietly: You’re not the only one…

 

Guru-Guru: They were all great, but there was one thing I didn’t like about it…

 

*Guru-Guru becomes scary again, cranking his music box to go faster and faster to channel his rage, his music becoming quicker in pace and more rushed in tense.*

 

Guru-Guru, angry: Why was the…? Why was the…? Why was the dog the leader?! I’m the one with opposable thumbs! Why couldn’t I be the leader?! What, my way of life wasn’t good enough for them?! Was it because something was wrong with me, Nobudy?!

 

*Then Guru-Guru becomes happy again and his music once again reflects his mood… scary.*

 

Guru-Guru, happy: Oh, that dog was such a wonderful leader. He always had a stellar troupe, no matter what animals he had to work with. And that’s why… That’s why… that’s why… I stole it! I stole the dog’s mask!

 

Lewa: He had a mask?

 

Guru-Guru, angry: I’ll ask the questions!

 

Lewa, whispering so softly you couldn’t even hear him: Okay…

 

Guru-Guru, happy: I wanted it because it was the leader’s mask. It made you a leader so charismatic and moving, one couldn’t help but follow. But I don’t want it anymore, so I’ll give this to you.

 

*And thus, Lewa got the Bremen’s Mask. It made him look like Falco.*

 

Lewa: It’s a chicken mask. Next thing you know, I’m going to get a pig mask, a cow mask, a fox mask, and a frog mask to go along with it.

 

Tatl: Be careful what you wish for, Lewa… that’s all I can say.

 

Guru-Guru: The dog was a good leader. His members matured very quickly and they became adults in an instant.

 

Lewa: Hmm… that may or may not be useful information to me in the future. Okay.

 

Tatl: Well, that’s another mask down. What now?

 

Lewa: We let the wind take us to our next destination.

 

Tatl: Well… that’s dumb. I hope your descendants don’t follow that logic.

Edited by ShadowBionics
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Except for the part of being a concert pianist, everything else is exactly what happened in the game. You get the Bremen by listening to this guy's rant. Not joking. He joins an animal troupe, steals the Bremen Mask, and joins the circus performers.

 

All right, now this next chapter is kind of a throw-away, as it reuses material from The Moron's Mask. However, there is some added dialogue in there so it's not a total waste. After I thought about it, there was more material I could have included in the original but didn't. So consider this like a "director's cut" version of the scene.

 

 

 

The Mask of Scents

 

*Meanwhile in the Deku Palace, as Lewa and Tatl were in the Woofall Temple racing back to the Deku Palace to tell the Deku King the great news of how his daughter was safe, the Deku King himself was still going with the monkey's "trial."*Guard 1: Your majesty! Are you sure we should be doing this?Deku King: Don't be so silly. The monkey's having a great time over there, swaying back and forth and back and forth and-- wait, is he trying to hypnotize me? He is! In that case, Dunk the--*That moment, Lewa (wearing the Deku Mask) came in with the bottle in hand.*Lewa: Hey, king, we found your daughter. Here you go. *He takes the bottle and dumps the princess out. Oh, yeah, that's really gentlemen-like, dump her out on the floor like that, why don't you?*Deku King, all surprised: Oh, my princess! You've returned!Deku Princess, angrily: Father...*In an instant, she then runs as if there were a fire and she proceeds to knock over her father, jumping up and down on him. Yeah! Bounce on him! That's right! Stick to your father! Show him he can't just push us children around! We're not going to take it! The guards were cowering in fear as they watched the princess unleash her fury on the king. When she was done, she turned around and faced the guards, all of which looked at her in fear. And the Deku Butler just stood there.*Deku Princess: What are you standing around for, you fools?! Release that poor monkey this instant!*The guards do as they are told and Deku Butler just stands there because he doesn't care. She then runs right back to Lewa in the same fashion as earlier.*Lewa: Where's the fire at?Deku Princess: In your eyes, sugar.Lewa: Uh... Huh.Deku Princess: Oh, Mr. Monkey, I am truly sorry. Father does rash things when he's worried about me.Monkey: I understand, forget about that. The temple's been returned to normal?Deku Princess: Why, yes... thanks to Mr. Lewa over here...*She eyes him in a sort of odd manner... moving on.*Deku Princess: I am truly grateful.Monkey: Really, that's so awesome. I bow before your greatness. *The monkey bows before Deku Lewa, and Lewa does the same, but not all the way.*Deku Princess, flirting: So... Mr. Lewa... will you be staying much longer?Lewa: Not really, I have a sad-moon to stop before this weird-freak drops it on all of us.Deku Princess: Okay. Be sure to drop anytime you'd like! Really...Lewa: I'm going going to quick-run now.Deku Butler: Hello there, sir. I am Deku Butler.Lewa: Is that your real name?Deku Butler: Yes.Lewa: Okay, just checking. Were your parents bored when they named you?Deku Butler: When I look at you, I am reminded of my son, who left for New York years ago. If you can make it there, you'll make it anywhere... those were the words of Alicia Keys. Here, take this pig mask that makes you look like a pig.*Thus Lewa got the Mask of Scents.*Lewa: Okay... thanks? What does it do?

 

Deku Butler: It makes you able to smell things that would go undetected by most noses.

 

Lewa: You have this with you for what reason?

 

Deku Butler: I just thought it looked fascinating. Plus my son wanted it.

 

Lewa: Who was your son?

 

Deku Butler: His name was Deku Butler’s Son.

 

Lewa: Uh… where you bored when you named him?

 

Deku Butler: Okay, Mr. Name Critic, what would you have named him??

 

Lewa: I don’t know him! What was he like?

 

Deku Butler: He was kind of short. He had three leaves on his head. He liked to dress in green. And he mostly looked SO SAD.

 

*Those last two words resonated in Lewa’s mind. That’s when he remembered the tree he saw before he got into Clock Town for the first time. It looked SO SAD. And it matched the description the Deku Butler had given. Not only that, but the tree very well looked a lot like Lewa’s Deku Scrub appearance…**Lewa takes off in one of his signature sprints as Tatl tries her best to keep up. Yeah, she wasn't as fast as Navi was in keeping up with him, but what can you do? Once he was nearing the outside, he took off the Deku Mask to return to his normal self. Lewa managed to get out of the swamp area and found himself outside of the Milk Road, which was mostly blocked off by a large boulder.*Lewa: Strange. Why's a boulder in the path?Tatl: Maybe there was a rock slide...Lewa: Or maybe this was foul-play. And the culprit behind this has to be... Red Herring!Tatl: Stop referencing TV shows that were cancelled in the 90's, most of our readers won't understand them!

 

Lewa: But making references to 90’s TV is fun!

 

Tatl: It isn’t to me.

 

Lewa: Aw, you’re no fun. :(

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Okay, well here's another "director's cut" scene from TMM featuring Kamaro's mask. For those who read the main story, you'll know this mask was kind of important for Lewa to beat the main antagonist at the end. Yes, really. So I had to incorporate it into the main story somehow since it was going to play somewhat important role.

 

Plus, it'll also explain why Lewa just didn't fly up the mountain after realizing he has two jets on his shoulders. I really wish Lego explored the possibilities of the adaptive armor more. Since they did not, I can sure do that. After all, armor that adapts to your environment and climate is beyond awesome. You could walk into a snowstorm and not worry about having a jacket. Or go diving underwater and not worry about having scuba diving gear.

 

 

 

Kamaro’s Mask

 

 

*After encountering a boulder blocking Milk Road (and after Tatl burned him with how no one would understand his references to 90’s TV), Lewa decided to leave since there wasn't anything he could do. He went back into Clock Town and he met back up with Natalie, who looked like she just finished with a public affair... If you understand that reference, then I feel so bad right now.*Lewa: There you are!Natalie: Oh, hi. Just finished up scoping out this place. They've got some nice little shops and these really cool places to hang out at.Lewa: That's good. I just finished the swamp, now we have to go to the mountain.Natalie: Hmm. Okay, I think I'll tag along.Lewa: You sure?Natalie: Why not? I like climbing. It's some good exercise. *laughs.**As Lewa, Tatl, and Natalie were getting ready to go for the mountains, the sun started to set and then on a lone rock in the distance, appeared this really scary man who looks like he should have been dead.*Kamaro: I am no longer a part of the living... My sadness to the moon... I haven't left my dance to the world... I am filled with regret.Lewa: What?Natalie: I am disappointed, oh moon, I have died!Tatl: What?Natalie: What? You don't understand what he's saying?Lewa: I guess I don't. He sounds like a fortune cookie. Or like Shakespeare in the forest. "Does thou mother knoweth you dance in a manner so heinous?"Kamaro: Oh, I planned to bring the world together and stir it into a giant melting pot with my dance. If only I had taught my new dance to someone.Lewa: I wanna hit this guy right now.Natalie: Wait... this is just a shot in the dark, but... what if all he needs is some soul mending?Lewa: Wait, don't we know something like that? *He takes out his ocarina.* Navi, the Song of Healing!Tatl: It's Tatl! And what do you mean?Lewa: I'll play the music, you sing the lyrics!Tatl: What?! But I-- *groans.**Lewa begins to play the song and Tatl begins to sing along with it.*Tatl: Shake, shake, shake. Shake, shake, shake... Shake your... whole self.*The song's properties then began to work on Kamaro, and it seemed to have done the trick as Natalie suggested.*Kamaro: Spread my dance across the world, train its followers.Natalie: I've taught it to you, now make it a popular dance craze.Lewa: Oh, now I get it.*And thus Lewa got Kamaro's Mask.*Kamaro: I'm counting on you.Natalie: I'm counting on you.*So Kamaro disappears and Lewa is left to stare at the new mask.*Tatl: So what does this one do?Lewa, put it on: I don't know.Natalie: You look like a loon or something. *laughs.*Lewa: I feel funny. *That's when he begins to break into dance.*George Michael's voice, singing: And I'm never going to dance again, guilty feelings, got no rhythm...*So by using this mask, Lewa apparently gained the ability to dance while playing George Michael's songs. I guess that's... sort of useful. I think?*Tatl: Can we head up that mountain now?Natalie: Unless you'd rather goof around some more and do some of those fancy side quests I've heard about.Lewa, stops: How do you know?Natalie: I read the game strategy guide. *embarrassed laugh* I'm surprised the author hasn't covered everything you can do yet at this point.Lewa: I'm scale-climbing this mountain.Tatl: I guess those jets are just for show?*Lewa looked at her blankly and then looked on either side of him at his jets, obviously having forgotten them since the last time.*Lewa: That works, too.

 

Lord of shadows: Seriously, why hasn’t Lego explored the whole concept of the Adaptive armor like they could have? So much potential here, all wasted… *facepalm*

 

Tatl: So does that mean you’re going to fly us up there, or are we going to have to climb up the mountain?

 

*Lewa attempts to carry Natalie, but when Tatl hangs onto him, for whatever reason, Lewa plummets down and into the snow.*

 

Natalie, coughing: What was that all about?

 

Lewa: Navi? Have you been overeating on the muffins again?

 

Tatl: One, I’m not Navi. Two, I haven’t eaten any muffins since we got here. And why is it that you can fly fine with her, but you can’t fly with both of us?

 

Lewa: Weird science. If only we had some Ko-Matoran big-brain to explain it to us…

 

Nuju: Well, you see, according to the distribution of mass, the exact weight of the fairy according to the planet’s gravity--

 

Lewa: Who asked you?!

 

Nuju: :( *walks away sadly.*

 

*And with that, Lewa, Tatl, and Natalie make their way up the mountain. Somewhere in between, Natalie found time to dress warmly. Tatl did not need to do so since she is magical. And Lewa was a fool.*

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  • 3 months later...

More of a director's cut from chapter 11 of the original story, here is an expanded version of the story of how Lewa gets the Stone Mask.

 

 

 

The Stone Mask

 

 

*Having gone through the Snowhead Temple, Lewa was ready to progress through his quest in trying to save Alma Nui from certain doom. He already took care of the temples in the south and north, so all that was left were the ones in the east and west. He decided to go for the one in the Great Bay, but there was a slight problem…*Tatl: Lewa, you dimwit, you flew in the wrong direction.Natalie: Yeah, the strategy guide didn't say anything about a canyon. Well, not yet anyway.Lewa: I'm sorry, I get dyslexic sometimes! I don't know the difference between my east and west!Natalie: Then boy, do I feel sorry for you.

 

Tatl: No kidding. It’s a surprise you can find your way anywhere.Lewa: Don’t laugh at me! :( Hey, what's that over there?

 

*Lewa apparently sees something over by a pile of rocks that were arranged in a circle. And yet, there was nothing there.*Tatl: It's a pile of rocks.Lewa: No, there’s something else there, I know there is…

 

*Lewa takes out his Lens of Truth and takes a look over at the rock pile through it. Sure enough, there really was something there! Or rather, someone.*

 

Lewa: Hey, there's some guy there.Tatl: Are you kidding me? How did you know that without even having the Lens of Truth on??

 

Natalie: He probably cheated. *she promptly shuts the strategy guide and hides it in her bag.*Lewa: Hey, invisible guy, what are you doing here?Guard: Egads! Can you see me?Lewa: Uh, yeah. How else would I be talking to you?Guard: Well, it's no matter, no one knows I exist.Lewa: If you weren't invisible, then people could quick-chat with you. Maybe hang around with you.Guard: It doesn’t even matter. I’m stuck being invisible, and I don’t know how it even happened! If only I had something to drink.Lewa: Like this?

 

*He takes out a red potion and hands it over to the guard.*Guard: Thanks, I'm parched.

 

*The guard takes a big drink and little by little, he slowly becomes more visible as if by magic.*Tatl: O_O Wow, he wasn't kidding then.Natalie: It's Nintendo logic.Chuggaaconroy: Hey, that's my line.Natalie: I'm older than you, so respect me, little one. *devious laugh.*Chuggaaconroy: Yes, ma'am. *walks away sadly.*Guard: All right! I’m visible again! I’m free to do whatever I want! I’m free to run around and annoy people so they can punch me in the face!

 

Tatl: Uh… sure, whatever makes you happy.

 

Guard: Here's a gift for you. *And thus Lewa got the Stone mask.*Lewa: Aw, it's ugly!Guard: Yes, but it's so ugly that no one can see you. It makes you invisible.Lewa: That doesn't make sense.

 

Guard: I don’t care, I’m going to go run off a mountain and try to fly now!

 

*The guard runs away with his arms in front of him like he’s a super hero. He even makes these “ZOOOOOM!” noises as he runs away. Yeah, he’s definitely got problems…*Natalie: It's Nintendo logic, it doesn't have to make sense! That's the beauty of it!Tatl: Let's just go to the Great Bay this time, and not the Canyon.Lewa: Okay, Navi.Tatl: It's Tatl!Lewa: No thanks, I'll just have mine over easy.

 

*After that strange little detour, Lewa and his other two members in his party head off for the Great Bay, this time for real.*

 

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I'm probably doing these out of order now, but I don't really care. Probably doesn't bother any of you who read it much... all 1 of you. chapter 7, which probably should take place before chapter 6 now that I think about it.

 

 

 

Don Gero’s Mask

 

 

*While walking around in the guise of Whenua, Lewa noticed a somewhat dimwitted Toa of Earth standing on top of a ledge, freezing himself.*

 

Lewa: Hey, you! Why are you standing out there? You look like you’re deep-freezing out here!

 

Onua: Oh, hello, Whenua! I’m standing out here because I’m hungry.

 

Lewa: You’re… hungry?

 

Onua: Yes, I’m so hungry!

 

Lewa: Then why don’t you leave??

 

Onua: I’m so hungry that I’m so weak, that I can’t leave.

 

Lewa: Wait, how did you even get up there in the first place?

 

Onua: Some friends wanted me to go get something for them up here. They made a game out of it by putting this stupid frog mask on my head. I got hopelessly lost and here I am. I fell down a few feet and now I’m stuck.

 

Lewa: But you’re only 10 feet off the ground. You can jump, can you?

 

Onua: But… but… I NEED FOOD!!!!

 

Lewa: Is that quote going to be a running gag through the whole series?

 

Tatl: Lewa, just help him. Plus he’s got a mask on his head.

 

Natalie: You’re going to be needing that one, too, if you want to get the grand prize.

 

Lewa: Joy. Okay, pal, what do you eat?

 

Onua: I eat frozen meat. We keep it in our mountain shrine on top of the chandelier.

 

Lewa: You can’t make this easy, can you?

 

*Later at the shrine…*

 

Lewa: The only good thing in this case is the brat isn’t loud-wailing like a banshee anymore.

 

Tatl: I don’t see the meat anywhere.

 

Lewa: He said the chandelier. And there’s a bunch of bulb things, so… must be in there.

 

Natalie: Wait, you have to light up the torches around here first.

 

Lewa: Why?

 

Natalie: The guidebook says it’ll make the chandelier rotate so you can get the meet. Not all of them have it, I guess. Talk about a major pain. *weak laugh*

 

Lewa: He planned this, I know it!

 

*Lewa runs around lighting the torches, and sure enough the chandelier starts to rotate around. How lighting torches does this, I don’t know, but I’ve learned to just not question it.*

 

Lewa: All right, here I go!

 

*Lewa turns into his “spinning thing of death” form and he races off a ramp towards the chandelier, but he unfortunately misses.*

 

Tatl: Try to time yourself better.

 

Lewa: This is going to be a long day…

 

*Approximately 37 failed tries later…*

 

Lewa: I… have… MEAT!!!!

 

*Back with the very pitiful loser…*

 

Lewa: I have your meat, you lazy slug!

 

Whenua: Oh, thank you so much, great Whenua!

 

Lewa: You’re welcome.

 

Onua: If you could either throw it up here or come up here and let me have it, I would be most grateful!

 

Lewa: Oh, no-no-no-no-no… you come down here.

 

Onua: Wh-wh-what?

 

Lewa: You heard me. You want food? Come down here.

 

Onua: But… I can’t!

 

Lewa: Listen… I had to dash-run around the shrine to light the torches, then I had to quick-run up to the chandelier, and then I had to rapid-spin to the thing to get the meat! And know what? It took me 37 tries because I either kept missing or I hit the wrong bulb! I am not moving another inch more than I have to!

 

Onua, crying: But…

 

Lewa: You don’t eat until you stop being lazy and get down here! You’ll be lucky if I don’t kick your face in the moment you do that!

 

Onua: Oh… all right…

 

*Onua starts to walk slowly over to the edge, still shivering.*

 

Natalie: Aren’t you being a bit harsh on him?

 

Lewa: He doesn’t know what “harsh” means! Keep moving! I have your meat right here!

 

*Onua keeps moving closer to the edge. When he gets closer enough, he gets ready to jump. Unfortunately at that point he froze and he just fell flat on his face, unmoving.*

 

Tatl: Uh… oh…

 

Natalie: He’s not… Is he?

 

*Lewa walks over to inspect him. He then reaches over and takes the Don Gero’s Mask.*

 

Lewa: All right, we got the mask!

 

Tatl: That’s all you can think about?

 

Lewa: When I play the Song of Time, he’ll be back up there freezing his butt off like before. No big deal. Now let’s keep moving.

 

Tatl: Why do I even bother?

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