Posted Oct 01 2012 - 01:42 PM
I stare soothing at the big blue eyes,
Looking up at me with innocence—
Cerulean skies observing the lines and creases of my face.
He wants to cry, upset at being near all the loud people—
People clanging their glasses together in toasts to the bride and groom,
People slapping each other’s backs in embraces,
All oblivious to the sensitive ears of Little Liam—
But he sees my face,
Knows he is safe in my arms,
And a smile spreads.
His little face lights up, and I place a kiss on his head.
I know he wants to sleep, so I rock him back and forth in my arms.
Swinging and turning gently as his eyes slowly blink closed.
I smile—this is the life a father.
There is nothing greater.
~ :: ~
Another poem written for my Creative Writing class. It was supposed to use some sound, and it could only be between 12-16 lines. I don't like the writing of this one as much as my Staring Oceans poem, but considering this one has babies, it kinda evens out. I was originally going to write about a church (I still will, sometime, probably), but after I held my cousin's baby last weekend this was all I could think about, haha.
Enjoy! Comments and constructive criticisms are much appreciated.
"As a writer you ask yourself to dream while awake." ~ Aimee Bender
Posted Oct 04 2012 - 12:14 AM
Cerulean skies observing the lines and creases of my face
You wouldn't typically see something like that in a narrative prose story. The way the words and lines are put together, the author really hands the beauty over to the eye of the beholder. It's a nice escape from blocks of rigid prose.
Anyways, about this particular poem, I really do like it. For one, it's short and sweet, emphasis on both short and sweet, and the fact that it's written from a personal experience makes it all the better. It's nice to know there's a lot of heart going into what's been written and shared. I really have nothing else to say other than that good work has been done here, and I think this (and your other poem) will start a poetry initiative in the COT.
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