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[742mph]

The Chronicles of Xa and Vu: Episode 1

During the Matoran-Bohrok War
Underground Bohrok HQ, Level 6, Island of Mata Nui

Pahrak-Za #723: Order in the court! Order, I say! *slams shield on table like a gavel*

Cahdok: Your honor, this pathetic excuse for a member of the swarm has committed an inexcusable act of defiance! I demand that he be punished!

Pahrak-Za #723: May I remind you that as a Krana Za, I am gifted with intelligence great enough to act as the judge during this trial—and to know that you are being very stupid right now. Lehvak-Xa #881’s actions will be judged fairly and logically, and he will be treated accordingly by the law.

Gahdok: But-

Lehvak-Xa #881 (known as Xa from here on): If you ask me, this is a pretty rediculous trial to begin with. All I did was point out one tiny possible flaw in the Bahrag’s strategy-

Cahdok: You know perfectly well that you can’t disobey the orders of your queens! We were created by the Great Beings specifically to boss you around!

Xa: But all I said was that we should actually try to get rid of the Toa instead of blindly demolishing everything in our path and acting surprised when we’re defeated by one of those overactive pituitary glands of beings whom we didn’t even see coming!

Pahrak-Za #723: I’m sorry, #881, but I have to side with the Bahrag on this one. I’m going to have to sentence you to-

Gahdok: Throw him to Tahnok-Kal! Wake him up and let him fry the fool’s circuits until he’s as blackened and charred as Cahdok’s brain!

Cahdok: HEY!

Pahrak-Za #723: -six months of newbie Bohrok training.

Xa: You sickening monster.

Pahrak-Za #723: #881, we’re both sickening monsters. You and I are nothing more than slugs squished into small, insectoid balls of protodermis. Deal with it.

Xa: *sigh* I’ll report to the Onu-Wahi base camp, then.

Cahdok: *snicker* This’ll be fun to watch via our secret cameras implanted in every Bohrok shell ever produced.

Xa (as he walks out of the courtroom door): Well then, they’re not so secret anymore, are they?

Gahdok: Cahdok, you imbecile.

---

Onu-Wahi Bohrok Base Camp, Trainee Pickup Wing (also underground)

Nuhvok-Vu #358 (known as Vu from here on): You’re green. Green is weird.

Xa: Listen, 358, I’m going to have to teach you the basics of being a Bohrok and demolishing things for the next six months. You’re going to need me for this, since you were only just formed yesterday. Let’s just get off the subject of my color and get this over with, okay?

Vu: Day before yesterday. And green makes you look fat.

Xa: Quiet! I don’t want to have to deal with your yammering and your inexperience. If we can get this done quickly, neither of us will have to put up with the other for the full half-year.

Gahlok Va #270 (over PA system): Xa-881, you are clear to escort your trainee to the surface of Onu-Wahi and begin elemental focus instruction.

Vu: What? Radio guy is confusing.

Xa: *sigh* Just… just follow me.

---

Onu-Wahi Surface Region

Xa: Alright, “Vu”. I think it’s pretty obvious that you know how to operate your Bohrok shell physically, so we can jump right to controlling your elemental power. As a Nuhvok, you have the ability to manipulate the ground and cause powerful earthquakes.

Vu: Didn’t know that. So how do I make ground go boom?

Xa: (He didn’t even know his element before now?) First, concentrate on the spot right in front of you and try to make a little ball of dirt rise up there. We’re going to start with baby steps, ‘kay?

*A giant pillar of compressed soil sticks up right under Vu, sending him flying backwards.*

Xa: How did that happen?!

Vu: Thought about spot right in front of me, like you said. One inch in front, exact.

Xa: Common sense, Vu? Ever heard of it? A pillar that size only one inch in front of you is going to slam into you! It’s unavoidable! Besides, you need to learn more precise control. That “little ball” was way larger than it was supposed to be!

Vu: Fine. Farther in front.

*This time, a pillar appears under Xa and throws him back.*

Xa (barely containing his rage): We’re… starting… with… something else.

---

Ga-Wahi, near Naho Bay

Xa: Alright, Vu, here’s the deal. If you can’t handle the powers of your Bohrok yet, I’ll teach you about something you should be a bit more familiar with: your own natural abilities.

Vu: The dragons told me I could fly by spinning, right?

Xa: Exactly. As a Krana Vu, you can fly short distances and survey the area by curling into a ball. Oh, and they’re called the Bahrag.

Vu: Okay. Bahrag. So what do I do first?

Xa: Fold your legs up, press your arms against the sides of your head, rotate your shields down, and thrust your head forward a bit. That should get you spinning.

*Vu does as he’s told and immediately launches forward out over the bay.*

Vu: *does loop-de-loops of glee* Yay! I’m flying! This is so much fun!

Xa: Umm… wow, Vu. That’s great! This training might actually go pretty quickly after all.

Vu: Really? I can’t wait! Let’s go tell the Bargah!

Xa: Bahrag, Vu. Bahrag. Now all you have to do is hover back over here before you…

*Vu suddenly uncurls and plunges down into the water.*

Xa: …run out of flight energy. Why must I constantly deal with such morons?!

---

Po-Koro Outskirts

Xa: Let’s try this, Vu. There are no environmental hazards here. There’s no soil, so your powers can’t go out of control. Pohatu’s out dealing with a Kohrak attack on Ta-Koro. There’s no way you could ever screw up this time.

Vu: What do I do now, Xa?

Xa: In general, don’t do anything so mind-blowingly stupid that an entire squad of Gahlok need to be called in to rescue you. Specifically, walk up to that Po-Matoran and punch it in the face with your shield. We’re going back to ordinary, basic weapon use here.

Vu: I see a lot of them. Which one I should punch?

Xa: That one to your right, the one with the Kakama. It’s just a pathetic, defenseless Matoran, Vu. It shouldn’t be a threat even to you.

Vu: Alright. I will go up to him.

*Vu takes a few steps towards the Matoran and is almost immediately knocked on his behind by a Koli ball to the chest.*

Hewkii: When are Bohrok going to learn not to mess with me? It’s getting kind of annoying, really.

Vu: Ow ow ow ow ow. Matoran are mean.

Xa: *faceshield* How am I going to explain this to the Bahrag?

END OF EPISODE 1

Edited by 742mph, Oct 13 2012 - 08:03 PM.

[Phovos the Raptor]

Tahnok-Kal: Aw, I wanted to fry him...

Anyway, I like, I like! And I admit, I've never considered naming Bohrok after what Krana they're wearing! I'd love to see more of this!

[742mph]

The Chronicles of Xa and Vu: Episode 2

Xa’s first progress report, 1 week after Vu’s training began
Underground Bohrok HQ, Level *classified*, Island of Mata Nui

Cahdok: So, my little disobedient and extremely irritating friend, how much has Vu-358 learned over the past week? Surely you’ve at least taught him sufficient control over his Krana and elemental abilities.

Gahdok: If you haven’t even managed that, we’ll make sure your wiring is nice and toasty!

Xa: Oh, things have been going… uh… pretty well. Vu’s making progress on performing his class’s typical duties, and he can fly across small chasms without much trouble. He’s, um, even managed to keep his Earth powers in check and hasn’t injured me in two days!

Vu: Xa is a nice teacher. He lets me eat food if I don’t give him owies. Right, Brahag?

Xa (whispering): Vu, you weren’t supposed to tell them about that…

Cahdok: I’m sorry, Xa-881, but you aren’t doing nearly a good enough job. “Vu” doesn’t seem to have been meeting our NKSs (Novice Krana Standards), which state that he should at least be able to dodge projectiles in mid-fight and—

Gahdok: Besides, feeding a Krana wild fruits and other sources of nutrition is both dangerous and in violation of our food rationing laws! You are outdoing yourself in incompetence, 881!

Vu: Hey, they were nice foods. Xa called them Macku Cabaldo or something, and they were yummy!

Xa (whispering again): And you really weren’t supposed to mention their name.

Gahdok: Alright, that’s it, you worthless maggot of a Bohrok! You fed a trainee potentially explosive Madu Cabolo fruit without authorization from a Za-class management official?! You don’t even deserve to be training someone how to demolish things! Do we have to assign you to a constructive job?!

Cahdok: Now, Gahdok, I’m sure Xa knew what he was doing at least partially. We should probably look over the data before reassigning him again—

Xa: *frustrated groan* So do you interrogate all of your “incompetents” with Good Cop/Bad Cop routines, or just me?

Vu: Huh? Cops? Where?

Gahdok: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME, 881?!

Cahdok: Even I think that that was way out of line, Xa. I’m afraid we are going to have to repurpose you and your trainee—

Gahdok: SCREW REPURPOSING! THROW THEM BOTH INTO THE MANGAI VOLCANO! *insane cackling*

Cahdok: Come on, Gahdok. Calm down. We’ll just get you to your sleeping chamber and give you your relaxing pills, okay? Everything’s going to be fine. *slowly and carefully leads a moaning and growling Gahdok out of the door*

Xa: Well, that was… eventful.

Vu: And kind of scary.

Cahdok (after returning): I’m sorry about that. She has anger management issues sometimes, especially when we use that… interrogation method. I should really convince her to be the Good Cop next time. Anyway, let’s head down to Level 17’s mission briefing room. I’ve got a new assignment for you.

---

Briefing Room, Underground Bohrok HQ, Level 17, Island of Mata Nui

Cahdok: Alright, you two. Here’s what I’ve taken you down here for. *points to map of the MU, where one of the Southern Islands is flashing* As you can see, we’re picking up a very high concentration of elemental energy in a single being somewhere on this island. No Toa or Makuta should be able to comfortably contain this amount of energy, and this thing has been here ever since we started scanning, so it’s not a Kaita. They don’t last this long.

Xa: Hold on a second. What is this map of? Is that island at the top us? And how did you find out about all of this energy?

Cahdok: Our universe, it’s one directly below us, and Bohrok shells aren’t the only thing we have secret sensors implanted in, in that order.

Vu: But why can’t we see all that in real life?

Xa: And why should we care?

Cahdok: Always questions with you two, isn’t it? Why can’t you accept that we are smarter and stronger and more sensible and better than you in every way and just follow our orders?! *sigh* Anyway, you can’t see it because everything in this map is underwater, but not actually submerged somehow. As for why we care, that’s classified.

Xa (whispering to Vu): Either she’s actually hiding something big from us, or she’s completely off her ornate Protosteel rocker.

Vu (whispering back): Yeah.

Xa: How long will this trip take, exactly?

Cahdok: We’re not going to spare any flying vehicles just for you guys, so you’ll have to go by boat. It’ll probably take about a week. *points to the top of the map* In order to reach this vast underwater sea, you’ll have to navigate a series of looping tunnels vertically between us and our counterpart island down there. After that, just sail to the southeastern island chain and wait until this elemental power detector goes off the charts. *hands Xa a device with a screen and sensor dish on it*

Vu: Hey, why don’t I get one?

Xa: Because neither of us trusts you with it.

Cahdok: You took the words right out of my mouth. Anyway, you should probably get going now. Good luck… muahahaha.

*Cahdok presses a button, opening a hidden door to a long, partially submerged horizontal shaft with a boat floating in the silvery water near the “shore” closest to the three of them.*

Xa: Well, that’s… convenient. Come on, Vu. (whispered) The sooner we get out of this dump, the better.

Vu: But I don’t know how to swim.

Xa: You don’t need to. There’s a boat, remember?

Vu: Oh yeah. *climbs into boat*

Xa: *climbs into it after him* Does this boat have any kind of propulsion system, or will we just have to row with our shields? Because that would be pretty problematic, considering they have gigantic holes in them.

Cahdok: Yes, it has a motor. There should be some controls in the front somewhere.

Xa: *reaches around Vu, grasping a small rectangular object and pulling it towards him* An NES controller? Really? Why couldn’t you install something more dignified?

Cahdok: D-pad to steer, A to accelerate, B to brake, Start to turn it on, and Select to be quiet and do what you’re told for once.

Xa: Good enough for our purposes, I guess. *turns motor on* Well, I guess we can get go—

Gahdok: *barges in* HAVE YOU KILLED THEM YET???

Cahdok: Darn, the tranquilizers wore off! Okay, Gahdok, calm down. I haven’t killed them, but I have sent them to investigate the elemental energy issue, so they’ll be out of your nonexistent hair for a while.

Gahdok: You don’t have any hair either, Cahdok, so don’t mock me for it!

Cahdok: I wasn’t mocking you! Look, let’s just go back to managing the Pahrak demolition of the Le-Wahi swamp, alright? That’ll be much more engaging for you. Lots of stuff blowing up!

Gahdok: Fine, fine. Now get out of my sight, you two midgets!

Xa: Yes, ma’am. *starts piloting the boat down the shaft*

Vu: Bye bye.

Cahdok: Don’t disappoint me, either of you. And when you find the source of that energy, destroy it immediately!

Xa: Well, at least we’ll get to demolish something.

END OF EPISODE 2

[Phovos the Raptor]

I really like Xa. Such a god character!

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who sees one of the Bahrag being crazier than the other!

[742mph]

The Chronicles of Xa and Vu: Episode 3

Somewhere in the series of flooded tunnels between Mata Nui and Metru Nui

Vu: Are we there yet?

Xa: No, we are most certainly not. It’s only been two hours since we left, remember?

Vu: Okay.

*5 minutes pass*

Vu: Are we there yet?

Xa: For the last time, Vu, we are not there yet! Now be quiet, I’m trying to concentrate on driving.

*Another 5 minutes pass*

Vu: What’s that thing up there?

Xa: I told you, I need to keep my attention on-*looks up*-what in the Bahrag’s name is that?!

*What looks like a misshapen Bohrok, unable to fully curl up into a ball, drops from the tunnel ceiling and hovers a few feet above the silvery water.*

Xa: It looks a bit like a Bohrok, but there’s something wrong. A green head, a brown faceplate, white shoulders, Nuhvok shields, blue fangs…

Vu: Creepy.

Fake Bohrok: Creeps, say you? I is not creeping, I is mighty cool strong Invincibility Robot!!!

Xa: …wow. What a ripoff.

Inv. Robot: Has appeared me from next dimension what I scrub side or a Big Ghost, Matt A Nut!

Vu: What’s he saying, Xa?

Xa: I have no idea. It sounds like he’s speaking in another language and using a bad translator program or something. *clears throat, speaks slowly and condescendingly, as if to a mentally handicapped person* Why… are… you… here?

Inv. Robot: Come for over take of world! Rule every what my awesome Super Powers!!!

Xa: I think he wants to rule the universe or something like that.

Vu: We’re not gonna let him, are we?

Xa: He probably wouldn’t have much chance anyway, but nope. *shoots a bolt of acid at the Invincibility Robot, melting its right arm off*

Vu: I hope he was right-handed.

Inv. Robot: Invincibility Robot does hands both equal! Die You Now!!!

*Invincibility Robot fires a giant death laser from its left shield, destroying Xa and Vu’s boat. Both of them jump out at the last second and Vu begins hovering, allowing Xa to grab on before they fall into the water.*

Xa: Congratulations, Vu. You finally learned to fly.

Vu: Kind of.

Inv. Robot: Still you had alive?! Now yes angry, you crush again up! *starts charging another death laser*

Vu: Xa, I’m getting tired…

Xa: You’re running out of flight energy already? Well, then, I suppose there’s nothing left to do but this. *fires a large amount of acid at the Invincibility Robot’s head, melting its faceplate and poisoning its Krana*

Inv. Robot: Not! How debt feeted! Lost have me Matt A Nut!!! *Krana dies and falls out of head, shell continues hovering*

Xa: Apparently, it doesn’t need its pseudo-Krana to fly. Okay, Vu, maneuver us over there before you run out of power and drown us both.

*Vu drops Xa onto the top of the ruined Robot and grabs onto its dangling feet.*

Vu: How are we going to get to that island now?

Xa: If I can figure out how to fly this thing, it might actually speed up our journey. *removes shield and inserts finger into the Robot’s Krana interface port* Let’s see here. Color randomization program, giant laser controls… ah, here we are: self-powered flight mechanism. Hang on tight, Vu.

Vu: How fast does it go?

Xa: Fast enough to get us to our destination in only a few hours, actually. Now let’s hope this thing has…

*The shell rockets forward, Xa and Vu barely hanging on, and slams into a wall a few hundred yards ahead of where it started.*

Xa: …an acceleration curve. Never mind, then.

---

The Silver Sea, about 20 miles off the northeast coast of the Southern Continent

Vu: Are we—

Xa: NO.

Vu: —gonna have to get any closer to those guys? *points toward a boat ahead of them with several ferocious-looking beings in it*

Xa: Oh. I hope not. Let’s just ignore them and hope they do the same to us, okay?

Vu: Okay.

*A bolt of laser vision shoots out from the boat, narrowly missing Xa and Vu.*

Xa: *brings the Robot shell to a halt* Hey! What was that for?!

???: You fools dared to come within a 1-mile radius of us, the greatest team of warriors in the Matoran Universe! What is your business around here, anyway?

Xa: We were sent by the Bahrag Queens to investigate some kind of energy fluctuation on one of the Southern Islands. And what right do you have to fire on us when we weren’t even attacking you?!

??? #2: Because we’re awesome like that.

???: Quiet, Reidak!

Reidak: Then why did you fire lasers at them, Zaktan? I honestly don’t know.

??? #3: Chill out, you two. They’re not even worth our time.

Vu: Can we get out of here now?

??? #4: Are you trying to flee from us?! I’ll have you know that you’re dealing with the Piraka, the most accomplished members of the Dark Hunters organization by far!

Zaktan: Thok, I’ll decide who is and isn’t worth our time here. And Avak, we’re the accomplished ones. You didn’t even have the guts to try and overthrow the Shadowed One that one time!

Avak: I didn’t “try” because you wouldn’t let me help!

??? #5: Can we get back to assassinating that bothersome group of Frostelus now?

Xa: Please do. I think both Vu and I are already sick of you.

Zaktan: No, Hakann, we cannot. I want to teach these oversized insect-ish things a lesson.

??? #6: You’re an oversized insect-ish thing.

Thok: I’m pretty sure he’s just made of a whole bunch of smaller insect-ish things, Vezok.

Vezok: Whatever.

Zaktan: Quiet, all of you! I ought to kill you right here and now and split myself up into six smaller me’s and form a new team out of them and then—

*A death laser punctures the hull of the Piraka’s boat, causing it to sink.*

Xa: That should teach them a lesson of their own.

Zaktan (treading water): We’ll get you for this, snarky green thing and quiet black thing riding on damaged multicolored thing!

Reidak: Yeah, we’ll get you for it! We’ll get you so good that you explode from our awesomeness!

Avak: Shut up, Reidak.

Vu: Are these guys really the best fighters in the world, Xa?

Xa: Not at all, from the looks of it. Anyway, let’s continue south and hope these “Piraka” either drown or forget about us entirely.

*As the Robot shell lurches forward once more, the Piraka begin to swim for the Southern Continent while cursing and muttering to themselves.*

Zaktan: They’re going to pay for this. I swear they are.

END OF EPISODE 3

[rahkshi guurahk]

Pretty good, post a chapter so I can see more.

[Phovos the Raptor]

Haha, interesting, seeing the Piraka. And Vu's finally learned how to fly. Kinda. Love the fake Bohrok thingy.

[742mph]

The Chronicles of Xa and Vu: Episode 4

100 feet above the Silver Sea, about 5 miles off the northwest coast of the destination island

Xa (staring at the island): Looks like the super-powerful elementally charged being isn’t making his presence obvious. This place looks like any other Southern Island to me: lifeless, rocky, and all-around boring.

Vu: Are you sure he’s here?

Xa: The tracking device says so. Its readings on the elemental power level are OVER NI—

Vu: Let me see that. *grabs power detector* No it’s not! It’s only eight hundred!

Xa: Vu, I was doing it for comedic effect. Anyway, we’re going to be entering the air above the island any second now. We’ll probably land in that valley over there and then have a look around.

Vu: Do you think the Baghar sent us here for some other reason than what they say?

Xa: Maybe, but it doesn’t matter. If it turns out there isn’t a super-being here, we’ll just say the problem was in the detector and head right back. Besides, we’ll only have missed about twelve hours of demolishing, thanks to the speed of this damaged “Invincibility Robot”.

*As Xa and Vu begin to approach the valley, twin bolts of Plasma and Acid streak past them, one too far to the right to hit them and the other too far to the left.*

Vu: Aaah!

Xa: Who’s firing on us?! Could it be more of those fake Bohrok?

*More bolts follow, most coming within a few inches of hitting the two investigators. After a couple of seconds, one makes contact with the Invincibility Robot shell and knocks it out of the sky.*

Xa: Abandon ship! *jumps off*

Vu: *follows* Wait for me! Wait for me!

*Vu curls up, begins flying, and dives down after Xa, allowing him to grab onto Vu and the both of them to land safely. They watch the Robot shell smack into the ground of the valley and explode.*

Xa: Well, there goes our only way of getting off this partially submerged rock. What are we going to do now?

Vu: *turns around* Maybe we could ask him for help.

Xa: *also turns around, gasps* What the—

*Standing behind them is a massive Bohrok, slightly taller than even a Toa and with patched-together-looking orange, red, and green armor, dark green eyes, and a green Lehvak faceplate. Clearly incapable of curling up because of its proportions and lacking any portable shields, it instead holds in its crablike clawed hands a pair of barbed katana for combat purposes.*

Xa: Orange and green armor—the primary colors of Acid and Plasma! He must be the one who attacked us! Get him!

Vu: Die, mean person! *charges toward him with shields raised*

*The mysterious Bohrok simply raises a katana, which begins to glow orange, and a geyser of concentrated plasma erupts right in front of Vu, blocking his charge.*

Xa: Who—are you?

Mysterious Bohrok: I am the King of all Bohrok, and you have invaded my empire! For this horrible crime, you must die!

Xa: Whoa, hold on a sec. First of all, how are you the King? The Bahrag are the queens of the Bohrok, and they don’t seem to have ever heard of you. As a matter of fact, they sent us here because of all the elemental energy you’ve been emitting!

King Bohrok: *immediately lowers his weapons* So you didn’t come here out of disrespect or an an attempt to claim this island for yourself like the others have. It was those sadistic monsters the Bahrag who commanded that you journey here.

Vu: What others?

Xa: And what are you? How long have you been here? Why do you hate the Bahrag so much?

King: You two love to ask questions, don’t you? Well, in no particular order, 95,000 years, various explorers, warlords, and dimension-hopping Toa of Light, a giant Bohrok, and they abandoned me here instead of killing me and assumed I would die on my own.

Vu: A Toa of Light?

Xa: Wow. Can you tell us more? Maybe we could help you if you let us know what your problems are.

King: Yes, little Nuhvok. A Toa wearing grey and white armor appeared out of a wormhole just over that hill and shot a laser at me on sight. I returned fire, and the only way he could escape was to jump back into the wormhole. I never saw him again. *sighs and slumps down* I kind of wish he didn’t try to kill me. Maybe he would have stayed and I could have had some company on this lonely chunk of rock.

*As the King bends down and exposes the front of his faceplate, Xa notices that he is a Krana Bo, the lowest class of Krana and by far the least intelligent.*

Xa: Sounds like you have a pretty hectic life. Once again, though, how did you get here in the first place, why are you so massive, and how can we help?

King: I don’t need your help. My life is about as far from hectic as we are from the Bohrok Nest right now, but I don’t see any reason to change that. If you want to hear my story, though, you can by all means.

Xa: One last thing… if there’s anything we can do for you, please let us know. See, we don’t have any means of getting off this island now—not that we want you to be lonely or anything—and we were thinking that if we could do you a favor, you could help us escape.

Vu: So could you do it? Please?

King: Admittedly, there is one thing you could do. Now that I think about it, you, Nuhvok-Vu, would be perfectly suited for the job. It involves a lot of searching and collecting items, but once it is finished, none of us will have any trouble leaving this place for good.

Help me reassemble the Kal. Help me overthrow the Bahrag.

END OF EPISODE 4

Edited by 742mph, Nov 04 2012 - 10:10 AM.

[rahkshi guurahk]

This is getting itresting...

[Phovos the Raptor]

Oh deary deary. I wonder where this is going?