The Chronicles of Xa and Vu: Episode 1
During the Matoran-Bohrok War
Underground Bohrok HQ, Level 6, Island of Mata Nui
Pahrak-Za #723: Order in the court! Order, I say! *slams shield on table like a gavel*
Cahdok: Your honor, this pathetic excuse for a member of the swarm has committed an inexcusable act of defiance! I demand that he be punished!
Pahrak-Za #723: May I remind you that as a Krana Za, I am gifted with intelligence great enough to act as the judge during this trial—and to know that you are being very stupid right now. Lehvak-Xa #881’s actions will be judged fairly and logically, and he will be treated accordingly by the law.
Lehvak-Xa #881 (known as Xa from here on): If you ask me, this is a pretty rediculous trial to begin with. All I did was point out one tiny possible flaw in the Bahrag’s strategy-
Cahdok: You know perfectly well that you can’t disobey the orders of your queens! We were created by the Great Beings specifically to boss you around!
Xa: But all I said was that we should actually try to get rid of the Toa instead of blindly demolishing everything in our path and acting surprised when we’re defeated by one of those overactive pituitary glands of beings whom we didn’t even see coming!
Pahrak-Za #723: I’m sorry, #881, but I have to side with the Bahrag on this one. I’m going to have to sentence you to-
Gahdok: Throw him to Tahnok-Kal! Wake him up and let him fry the fool’s circuits until he’s as blackened and charred as Cahdok’s brain!
Pahrak-Za #723: -six months of newbie Bohrok training.
Xa: You sickening monster.
Pahrak-Za #723: #881, we’re both sickening monsters. You and I are nothing more than slugs squished into small, insectoid balls of protodermis. Deal with it.
Xa: *sigh* I’ll report to the Onu-Wahi base camp, then.
Cahdok: *snicker* This’ll be fun to watch via our secret cameras implanted in every Bohrok shell ever produced.
Xa (as he walks out of the courtroom door): Well then, they’re not so secret anymore, are they?
Gahdok: Cahdok, you imbecile.
Onu-Wahi Bohrok Base Camp, Trainee Pickup Wing (also underground)
Nuhvok-Vu #358 (known as Vu from here on): You’re green. Green is weird.
Xa: Listen, 358, I’m going to have to teach you the basics of being a Bohrok and demolishing things for the next six months. You’re going to need me for this, since you were only just formed yesterday. Let’s just get off the subject of my color and get this over with, okay?
Vu: Day before yesterday. And green makes you look fat.
Xa: Quiet! I don’t want to have to deal with your yammering and your inexperience. If we can get this done quickly, neither of us will have to put up with the other for the full half-year.
Gahlok Va #270 (over PA system): Xa-881, you are clear to escort your trainee to the surface of Onu-Wahi and begin elemental focus instruction.
Vu: What? Radio guy is confusing.
Xa: *sigh* Just… just follow me.
Onu-Wahi Surface Region
Xa: Alright, “Vu”. I think it’s pretty obvious that you know how to operate your Bohrok shell physically, so we can jump right to controlling your elemental power. As a Nuhvok, you have the ability to manipulate the ground and cause powerful earthquakes.
Vu: Didn’t know that. So how do I make ground go boom?
Xa: (He didn’t even know his element before now?) First, concentrate on the spot right in front of you and try to make a little ball of dirt rise up there. We’re going to start with baby steps, ‘kay?
*A giant pillar of compressed soil sticks up right under Vu, sending him flying backwards.*
Xa: How did that happen?!
Vu: Thought about spot right in front of me, like you said. One inch in front, exact.
Xa: Common sense, Vu? Ever heard of it? A pillar that size only one inch in front of you is going to slam into you! It’s unavoidable! Besides, you need to learn more precise control. That “little ball” was way larger than it was supposed to be!
Vu: Fine. Farther in front.
*This time, a pillar appears under Xa and throws him back.*
Xa (barely containing his rage): We’re… starting… with… something else.
Ga-Wahi, near Naho Bay
Xa: Alright, Vu, here’s the deal. If you can’t handle the powers of your Bohrok yet, I’ll teach you about something you should be a bit more familiar with: your own natural abilities.
Vu: The dragons told me I could fly by spinning, right?
Xa: Exactly. As a Krana Vu, you can fly short distances and survey the area by curling into a ball. Oh, and they’re called the Bahrag.
Vu: Okay. Bahrag. So what do I do first?
Xa: Fold your legs up, press your arms against the sides of your head, rotate your shields down, and thrust your head forward a bit. That should get you spinning.
*Vu does as he’s told and immediately launches forward out over the bay.*
Vu: *does loop-de-loops of glee* Yay! I’m flying! This is so much fun!
Xa: Umm… wow, Vu. That’s great! This training might actually go pretty quickly after all.
Vu: Really? I can’t wait! Let’s go tell the Bargah!
Xa: Bahrag, Vu. Bahrag. Now all you have to do is hover back over here before you…
*Vu suddenly uncurls and plunges down into the water.*
Xa: …run out of flight energy. Why must I constantly deal with such morons?!
Xa: Let’s try this, Vu. There are no environmental hazards here. There’s no soil, so your powers can’t go out of control. Pohatu’s out dealing with a Kohrak attack on Ta-Koro. There’s no way you could ever screw up this time.
Vu: What do I do now, Xa?
Xa: In general, don’t do anything so mind-blowingly stupid that an entire squad of Gahlok need to be called in to rescue you. Specifically, walk up to that Po-Matoran and punch it in the face with your shield. We’re going back to ordinary, basic weapon use here.
Vu: I see a lot of them. Which one I should punch?
Xa: That one to your right, the one with the Kakama. It’s just a pathetic, defenseless Matoran, Vu. It shouldn’t be a threat even to you.
Vu: Alright. I will go up to him.
*Vu takes a few steps towards the Matoran and is almost immediately knocked on his behind by a Koli ball to the chest.*
Hewkii: When are Bohrok going to learn not to mess with me? It’s getting kind of annoying, really.
Vu: Ow ow ow ow ow. Matoran are mean.
Xa: *faceshield* How am I going to explain this to the Bahrag?
END OF EPISODE 1
Edited by 742mph, Oct 13 2012 - 08:03 PM.