Posted Oct 19 2012 - 05:57 PM
Hello, there. Well, today is my day to kind of show off what I have in store for the future. For the most part, I've abandoned a lot of my old projects in favor of newer ones. The really "big" one in the series is the "The Dimwit of Time" series, which spoofs The Legend of Zelda games and revolves around Lewa acting as Link. Recently, I've finished the second installment, originally written in 2010 and originally proposed to BZPower earlier that year. The third installment, which is currently on-going, I am thinking of putting up on here as well.
It will be a spoof of Twilight Princess and is set many hundreds of years after The Dimwit of Time/The Moron's Mask, following a new Lewa (if you understand the games, then you get why it's going to be like this) and his battle against an ancient evil. Here's a teaser I worked up with. For those who followed The Moron's Mask, I spoke about a deleted chapter 24. This is part of chapter 24, reworked into a teaser.
In the land of Metru Nui, there are whispers of many great legends. There are echos of a legend of a great hero who triumphed over evil and saved the land through his courage, stupidity, and sheer luck. The hero departed on a great voyage to search for a valuable friend, believing that evil to have been vanquished. He was wrong...
*Antroz is then seen riding his horse Nexus through a flaming forest.*
Antroz, screaming: Oh, Mata Nui, I'm on fire! I'm burning here! Why doesn't anyone help me?! AAAHH! Help me, I'm literally burning alive here! Please, I beg of you, help me! Someone please help me! Stop showing this flashback! It's very painful to me!
Upon returning to his own time, the young hero had the wicked burned man in black armor imprisoned before his rise to power in the land he abandoned, but was refused the opportunity to properly vanquish him. The wicked man was held trail for his heinous crimes and desires...
*Somewhere in the Po-Metru desert, the ones called "the Sages" were summoned to execute him. Unlike the sages of the timeline Lewa left behind, these Sages were only mere shadows of the ones who had yet to be awakened. All of them male and possessing a ghost-like configuration.*
*Antroz, after being found guilty, was led into the chamber where the Mirror of Twilight was held. These Sages, however, were lazy and not very bright. Antroz went along with the execution, but he would soon strike when the time was right. He allowed himself to be chained up to a rock slab with the Sages' rubber chains. He looked at them with fire in his eyes and the hatred of an ancient evil burning in his heart.*
Water Sage, brandishing sword: It's time for you to pay for your crimes, Antroz.
Antroz: Do we really need to have it be this way? Can't we all go out for a smoothie and talk it over?
Light Sage: While we do like smoothies, we can't do that. We're supposed to stab you in the chest.
Fire Sage: And then we're going to sell all your stuff to whoever wants it.
Antroz: Hmm… this simply won't do.
Forest Sage: Quit your stalling and let's get this over with.
*The Water Sage takes the sword and with one heavy, yet swift, motion, he impales Antroz with the sacred blade.*
Shadow Sage: All right, well the deed is done. Now we can go out for smoothies.
Spirit Sage: Well said.
*Sadly for them, they didn't realize how they didn't use the real sword to execute him. No… they only used the pretend sword to do the job. Antroz did not die, but he did get hurt in the chest. He slowly began to stir as the Triforce of Power glowed in his hand, granting him strength to try and break out. The sages realized too late what was going on.*
Antroz: You're going to pay dearly for that, foolish sages!
*Antroz breaks the rubber chains that held him to the stone slab and then he rushes out with a fist in front of him and he kills the Water Sage. The surviving sages could only cower in fear at the atrocity.*
Light Sage: Did he just… do a Falcon punch to kill him?!
Shadow Sage: It's Super Smash Bros. Melee all over again!
Forest Sage: What do we do?! We're too lazy to handle this guy all on our own!
*That's when they thought about where they were… the Mirror of Twilight! Without hesitation or thought, the Fire Sage activated the mirror. Antroz took the sword used to kill him, powered it up to suit his needs, and he made his way for the Sages. However, he didn't notice the Mirror of Twilight behind him. The mirror activated and opened a portal to the Twilight Realm. It then activated a vacuum and started to pull Antroz in. He tried his best to resist, but in the end the force was too much for him and he was banished into the Twilight Realm to be imprisoned for the rest of his days… at least for now, it seemed.*
*The Sages all looked over to where their fallen comrade once stood. After that, they all decided to go out for smoothies.*
That is the teaser for Twilight Delinquent, which is on chapter 25 as I am writing this, so with that said, everything else is pre-written and may/may not contain some dated material. I have also contemplated on making another one after this one is ended, either between Skyward Sword or Wind Waker, which is "the land he abandoned" referenced in the teaser. Skyward Sword however is a prequel to Ocarina of Time, thusly the Skyward Sword parody will be a prequel to The Dimwit of Time. I've asked people as to which one they would like to see more, but no one really ever answered me. So if anyone would like to provide feedback, please feel free to do so.
Here is a small test writing for an untitled Skyward Sword parody I thought up of...
*Lewa stepped through the boss door upon putting the key in its place--*
Lewa: That's not a key! It's a freak-weird puzzle piece!
*MOVING ON... Lewa found himself in a circular chamber, and a lone door with a glowing symbol associated with the goddess Hylia. Lewa figured it might be a clue as to where Nokama was. Before he could get any closer, he was stopped by an explosion of diamonds and FABULOUSNESS.*
*Lewa moved his hand away to see some sort of creepy guy standing in his way with a long, black-bladed sword in hand. He raised the sword above his head, but then stopped suddenly, making it vanish into FABULOUS diamonds.*
Lewa:Oh, look, it's Debbie.
Ghirahim: Oh, look who it is... And my name isn't Debbie, you know? Do you have any idea how it makes me feel whenever someone calls me that...?
Lewa: No. And I just did that randomly. I had no idea it was some kind of hate-plague against you.
Ghirahim: It makes me FURIOUS! OUTRAGED! SICK WITH ANGER! But enough about that...
*Ghirahim turns around, facing Lewa for the first time, revealing he had a wannabe Princess Rosalina haircut and some bad purple eyeliner.*
Ghirahim: I thought the tornado I stirred up would have torn you apart, yet here you are. *sigh* Not that your life or death would have any consequence.
Lewa: Well, you're no prize either, you know. Who else would want to dress up like some circus reject wannabe?
*Somewhere in the future...*
Zant: Princess Luna! Where are my rainbow wig and shoes made from real pumpkins?!
*Back in the Skyview Temple...*
Ghirahim: Well, none of that matters. It's just the girl that matters now, and I can sense her here... just beyond this door.
Lewa: Ah-ha! So she is here then!
Ghirahim: Yes, we plucked her "specialness" from her perch in the clouds, and now she's ours.
Lewa: Why do you speak as if you're more than one person? Weird-freak.
Ghirahim: Oh, but listen to me. I've forgotten my manners. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is not DEBBIE as you so rudely suggest.
*He does a hair flip as he turns back around.*
Ghirahim: I am the demon who presides over this land you look down upon... The surface. You may call me Ghirahim. In truth, I prefer to be indulged with my full title: Lord Ghirahim.
Lewa: Lord Creep-zone is more like it. *Annoyed, Lewa takes out the Goddess Sword and his shield.*
Ghirahim: Did you really just draw your sword? Fool.
*Ghirahim turns back around one more time to face Lewa.*
Ghirahim: By all rights, the girl should have fallen into our hands already.
Lewa: Who is this other person?! I don't see them!
Ghirahim: She was nearly ours when that loathsome servant of the goddess snatched her away.
*That's when Ghirahim starts to lose it... but nothing compared to how Zant did... or will, rather. Dang, prequels are confusing.*
Ghirahim: Do you have any idea how that made me feel inside?
Lewa: Furious, outraged, sick with anger?
Ghirahim: FURIOUS! OUTRAGED! SICK WITH ANGER!
Lewa: Yeah, you kind of said that before.
*Ghirahim suddenly vanishes into diamonds, but his voice still filled the chamber.*
Ghirahim: This turn of events has left me with a strong appetite for violence.
Lewa, freaking out: Wait, we can talk about this. This doesn't have to end with me getting killed by a creept nutjob like you.
*That's when Ghirahim appears again, right behind Lewa all creepy Voldemort style. Lewa was scared stiff the moment he felt that Ghirahim was right behind him.*
Ghirahim: You're right. It seems hardly fair, being of my position to take all of my anger out on you. Which is why I promise upfront not to destroy you.
Lewa, scared/sarcastic: Well, that's a relief!
Ghirahim: No, I'm just going to beat you up really badly. Now watch my creepy snake tongue!
*Ghirahim steps forward a few feet and sticks out and wiggles his snake-ling tongue to be creepy, making Lewa jump back despite that Ghirahim wasn't really near him.*
Lewa: What are you?
Ghirahim, laughs: I am the solution.
And that's a small test-writing for my untitled Skyward Sword spoof. Whether or not this will be in the final project remains to be determined, considering this isn't even in development yet. This is just a preview of how the characters would behave and just me working on an idea out of boredom that I kept. And as those of you who might have played the game before, I've altered this scene a bit, because the game is kind of dark when you think about it. A lot of the dialogue itself surpasses Twilight Princess and Majora's Mask in terms of how dark and sort of frightening they are. So yeah, I'm going to probably make the whole thing like that when I get to it, considering there's a lot of points in the game that do scare me. One of which made me cringe in terror.
And now for a bit of a minor spoiler for The Moron's Mask. At the end of chapter 23, the Happy Mask Salesman claims that the evil spirit in the mask of death is gone. This is not true. Elitha is not gone, and she is not a spirit. She has a "spirit form", but this is only as a ploy and for safety. Elitha survived the fight with Lewa on the moon. She's still very much alive. That is all I'll say about that. It's kind of a key plot point that I didn't go into much, mainly because I felt it would have driven the story on for too long. So in other words, no one knows anything about Elitha, aside from Elitha herself.
And now for a sort of poll.
Which of these projects would you be interested in seeing me continue on? I haven't done so because I'm almost not sure if anyone likes them or not.
A Day in the Life of Teridax?/ Just Another Day with Teridax
I can continue either or both, but just something I'd want to know. Here's a small teaser for ADITLOT/JADWT.
Torah: Okay, Teridax wanted me to get... what was it again?
*Torah walks down the street to the market when he passes by a randomly placed radio for the sake of being random.*
DJ on radio: You're listening to Radio KPodge, where we bring you smashing and crushing great hits. Here is a preview one of my personal favorites, coming up later on.
Carly Rae Jepsen: Hey, I just met you. And this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me, maybe?
Torah: That song is annoying.
Zombified crowd: Must crush Brotherhood of Morons. Must crush Brotherhood of Morons.
Torah: Uh... why are you all coming at me with torches and pitchforks? Can't we talk this out? Wait... please! Don't come any closer!
*As the crowd begins to clobber the dimwitted Makuta, we see that just above the building where the radio was placed, the DJ himself sits down and looks upon the horrible sight. Who is the DJ?*
Hodge Podge, with microphone: All that and more coming up on Radio KPodge. HA HA HA!
And that's about it for now. There will be more to arrive from me as time progresses. Until then, see you all some other time. Bye.