112 replies to this topic

[Toa Zehvor MT]

Hey, everyone! Welcome to the first semi-annual Comedy Forum Expo, where people will, over the next week and a half, be demoing material they have on comedies they will be/are already writing. Sneak peeks, previews, character bios, it'll all be here.

The way this will work(if anyone isn't aware) is each person who wanted to preview some stuff they're working on will have a day assigned to them over the next week and a half. During that time, they can post whatever they want on this topic that pertains to their comedy, whether it's a preview, a spoiler, a collector's edition water bottle, or anything else.

The schedule for the CFE appears like this:

October 16: Rarity
October 17: Phovos
October 18: Meta Nuva
October 19: Shadow Bionics
October 20: TNTOS
October 21: Gundam
October 22: Felix
October 23: MT
October 24: Mr. Chicken
October 25: PurpleBouncy
October 26: Quack Quack

Should be a fun week and a half.

(and, yes, this is HH approved)

-MT

Edited by Toa Zehvor MT, Oct 15 2012 - 02:44 PM.

[Mesonak]

Excellent! Always nice to see showcases like these; really good method to get exposure. Hope everything works out.

-Mesonak

[Hurricane iBrow]

Here's to this getting pinned; for now, an original oneshot introducing each of the authors involved in this events written by the most legendary iBrow! Who has apparently turned into a duck.

If you all refer to Comedy Forums Rule #438 Sub-Clause B-17, you'll find that whenever iBrow turns himself into a duck you are to direct all comments/critiques on his works to Voltex. We thank you for your understanding and cooperation, and we hope iBrow will join you soon.


MT slapped his keyboard for what felt like the first time in days, before hitting enter and smiling as the chapter popped up on-screen.

“So that’s your secret!” a voice yelled behind him.

The Toa at the computer turned to face Meta Nuva, who bore a stunning resemblance to Metaknight. MT personally thought that the similarities were rather creepy, but he kept those thoughts to himself lest he be murdered in his sleep.

“What’s my secret?” He asked.

“You just slap your keyboard and a chapter magically appears!” Meta Nuva exclaimed. “No wonder you release chapters so fast! How do you do it?”

“I thought you were wondering how iBrow did it.”

“Nah, iBrow’s stupid. He posts a chapter once a year.”

“Good point.” MT conceded. “Plus, you only saw the final fake step. There’s plenty of real steps before that.”

MT turned back to his computer and was not surprised to notice a comment already posted about the chapter. He was surprised to realize that it was the long-lost Phovos, a raptor that had gone missing several months ago. MT had assumed that Phovos had been kidnapped by some minion of iBrow, as tended to happen when iBrow felt that the competition was too strong.

“Phovos is back.” He said aloud.

“Who’s Phovos?”

“You know, Phovos the Raptor.”

“...no, I don’t.”

MT face palmed and wondered how he was going to explain who Phovos was.

*-*-*-*

“Oh hey, would you look at that!” Hubert said, pointing to a poster on the wall. “iBrow is inviting us to the CFE!”

“What the heck is the CFE?” Shadow Bionics asked. “It sounds like a stupid acronym to me.”

“By the looks of it, I’d say it’s a Comedy Forum Expo.” Hubert replied.

“It sounds like a stupid name, too.” Shadow Bionics grunted.

“Don’t be such a downer.” TNTOS told him. “iBrow forced me to enter that comedies contest awhile back.”

“How do you force someone to enter a contest online?” Hubert asked.

“Uh... I don’t want to talk about it.”

TNTOS shuddered as he remembered being dangled from a rope over a vat that held an exact replica of one of Vultraz’s feet. It had been just as horrible as the real thing.

“Well, I’m joining.” Hubert told them. “Maybe this will inspire me to do something other than play RPGs.”

“Yeah, I’ll join too.” TNTOS said quickly. “No need for more feet, right?”

“Huh?”

*-*-*-*

“So Mr. Chicken, how did you come to enter the field of comedies?” Felix asked in a serious businessman-like voice from across the desk.

“Please, call me Hero.” Mr. Chicken replied.

“An odd nickname for a chicken, I must say.” Felix commented.

“An agyrophobic chicken nonetheless!”Rarity exclaimed.

Mr. Chicken tried to ignore the fact that Rarity was dressed up as a female pony that would undoubtedly be giving him nightmares for weeks on end as he replied to Felix’s first question.

“Does it matter how I joined comedies?” he asked, nodding towards a poster on the wall. “I was personally invited to present at the expo by iBrow.”

“So? Does that give you power over us?” Felix asked.

Mr. Chicken gulped. “Well, um, I don’t know. I mean, one of you is on the Comedies Critics Club I suppose....”

“I’m now 20% cooler!” Rarity grinned. “And also about 6% smarter, but that’s not important.”

“What is important is that you tell us how you started with comedies.” Felix continued.

“I wrote a comedy, it was popular, I made a sequel, it was popular, I started a reboot of the sequel, it was also popular, I vanished, the end.”

“...I give up. Getting money off of you is hopeless.” Felix muttered.

*-*-*-*

“Hey Phovos, how did you get so popular?” Meta Nuva asked.

Phovos glared at the Metaknight impersonator.

“My comedies get less replies than you get in an hour, bozo. Shut up.”

Meta Nuva frowned and sagged, leaving Phovos to jog away into the jungle of magical ideas and keyboards. He turned to an amused MT.

“So... mind sharing that secret with me now?” he asked.

“I’ll tell you what, Meta.” MT told him. “You go into that jungle, find iBrow, and bring him back alive I’ll share my secret with you.”

“Bring iBrow back alive? That’s easy.”

“Maybe I should re-phrase what I said. You have to bring him back, and you still have to be alive.”

“...what.”

“You heard me.”

“But the Comedy Forum Expo is running soon... iBrow announced it....”

“...what.”

“You know, the Comedy Forum Expo.” Meta Nuva said quizzically. “The one iBrow is running?”

“...WHAT?!”

“Do I have to continue repeating myself?”

“iBrow told you he’s running it?!”

“Yeah, he told everybody that MT.” Meta Nuva looked perplexed. “Why?”

“That goon!” MT growled. “The Expo was my idea! I’m gonna find him and beat him into the ground!”

Meta Nuva gulped. “Uh... sure. While you uh... while you do that... I’m just gonna... run for my life....”

MT sighed. “He’s right behind me.”

“You’re darn right I am! KA-BAM – rocket launcher go!”

*-*-*-*

“We are gathered here today, to pay our final respects to the dearly beloved.” Phovos announced to the small group of assembled writers. “MT was an inspiration to all of us who failed time and time again to beat, always writing the longest comedies and posting the most chapters out of all of us.”

“He was a good friend!” Hubert called out.

“You would say that, Mr. I’m Taking Over the Wiki.” Felix commented.

“Ahem... MT knew when the right time was to be funny-” Phovos began again.

“Are you kidding? My comedy was waaaay funnier, and in script too.” Mr. Chicken interrupted.

“Stop disrespecting MT!” Meta Nuva snapped.

“-you know what, screw it.” Phovos said, blasting a laser between the arguing Rarity and TNTOS. “MT was cool, he wrote comedies, the end.”

“Boo, sucky funeral!” Shadow Bionics called out.

“Also I have a message from iBrow ordering me to remind you all that the Comedy Forum Expo is coming up soon, or else he eats my soul and sells my liver to a shark over in Bara-Magna.” Phovos told them. “Oh, wait, I wasn’t supposed to read that last bit.”

*-*-*-*

“Man, that funeral sucked.” MT complained.

“What do you want from me?” iBrow asked. “It was last minute, give me a break.”

“Why did you need to kidnap me, again? I don’t need reminding of my own Expo.”

“Well, first, it’s my Expo now, considering that’s what they all believe. Also, I could tell you were about to crack under the pressure of Meta Nuva’s constant questioning.”

“I was not!”

“You were too, I read your mind. Our secret to comedy making is safe.”

“I suppose. It’s a good thing they’ll never, ever know that in order to write such awesome comedies you need to-”

“Hey wait, what about me?!” Purplebouncy yelled, entering the room. “Don’t you dare say you forgot me! I’m in the Expo too!”

“Fine, you’re in the Expo.” MT grumbled. “Add him into the schedule.”

“Now I’m on a Friday.” iBrow commented. “Woot to that, eh boys?”

The End – Welcome to the Comedy Forum Expo!

Edited by iBrow Voltex, Oct 15 2012 - 06:21 PM.

[Toa Zehvor MT]

Oh dear. Fine, let's add that PB guy in...

(jk PB)

-MT

[ZHX]

iBrow managed to get my intentions to participate in this Comedy Expo perfectly.

I really need to tear myself away from the RPG Forum.

[JL v2]

Oops. didnt join. Watevs. I would if I could, but I'll just....read this out. Probably gonna be interesting too.

Edited by Jl1223 X, Oct 16 2012 - 04:39 AM.

[Phovos the Raptor]

Yay! Expo-y Starting Stuff! Yipee!

And just so you know, I wasn't captured by iBrow's minions. I've been on holiday with Vahrga Tahnok, watching Teekay and Arkay slowly become friends then boyfriend and, er boyfriend, then, er, becoming official partners... Or something like that.

I have a feeling I've lost my scariness since I reappeared back here. The old me would never be threatened by iBrow and company.

Edited by Phovos the Raptor, Oct 16 2012 - 01:21 AM.

[TNTOS]

TNTOS shuddered as he remembered being dangled from a rope over a vat that held an exact replica of one of Vultraz’s feet. It had been just as horrible as the real thing.

Ah, yes. Vultraz's feet are absolutely disgusting XD.

Anyway, the expo's off to a good start already. Can't wait to see what everyone else has come up with.

-TNTOS-

[Toa Zehvor MT]

And we're now on day 2 of our lovely expo, aka the day of Rarity.

-MT

[Phovos the Raptor]

The sad thing is, it will technically be tomorrow when I get to read Rarity's comedies... And I'll be too busy writing my own.

[Scanty Demon]

Why is it nobody mentions my last name, it's not that hard to spell: D-z-e-r-z-h-i-n-s-k-y Dzerzhinsky. Besides I'm the head of the Extraordinary Commission or Cheka. A large espionage organization, my beard proves my leadership!

“You would say that, Mr. I’m Taking Over the Wiki.” Felix commented.

Curses my plan to spread the revolution is exposed, I was going to take over the wiki. Well I'll guess I'll have to break the bad news to TF2 he was looking forward to that which such enthusiasm. Besides I have to work on robbing the capitalist pigs my comedy that is in association with TNTOS who I may or may not have in my back room. I will say the opening skit was entertaining and managed to set the mood for the Expo.

[Hurricane iBrow]

I'm glad you all enjoyed it. Now, if Rarity would show up and show us whatever he's gonna show us, that'd be great.

I also sent it in to the bzp news to try and get front page - I dunno if they'll actually put it out as an article, but if they do it could get us some more attention.

-ibrow

[Applejack]

Shadrahk: *Comes rolling in threw a window, doging death, danger, traffic, missing laptop chargers, and mods*
I have arrived! *Looks around* Now this party can sta-oh. It already did... yay a pinata... of me?
Expo goer: They said you died, and we were going to celebrate...
Shadrahk:...
Ecpo Goer: Don't you like pinatas?
Shadrahk: Punk, I enjoy two things in this world; writing comedies, and chewing bubble gum.
And bub, I'm all out of bubble gum.
Expo goer: You're not scary!
Shadrahk: Yeah I am!
Expo goer: Not since you changed your name to Rarity, and dressing as a pony princess.
Shadrahk: I'm not dressing as a princess... I'm bring back glam.
Expo Goer: You're wearing a tiara.
Shadrahk: ....

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME!

For all five people who read the controversial M.O.D.S, good news! Starting this Thursday, a season 2 of M.O.D.S is coming, with a new chapter every week! Follow the moderators of BZP as they take down crime in the streets of BZ-NUI! And there will be episodes based off true stories! (If it doesn't get removed)

But that's not all! Another new comedy is coming next month! Follow the comedic adventures of the Shadow Slander studios(soon to be of M.O.D.S fame)crew as they try to create new shows and keep the studio running!

But two comedies isn't all... In my third new comedy, we get a look into the private life of Toa Lewa. His ups and downs, his highs and lows, his... breakfast?
Diary of a whimpy Toa coming in November!

It's going to be a very Shad-like Winter.

Edited by Rarity, Oct 16 2012 - 09:39 PM.

[Toa Zehvor MT]

Shad like winter, huh? No wonder it's so cold...

At any rate, looks exciting. Never really got into the MODS comedy, but I think I might use this point to jump into the series.

-MT

[Phovos the Raptor]

Is it my turn yet?

Please let it be my turn. Should I make a new topic for it as I have a LOT (well, not really, but we can only hope...) of stuff. Well, of course, I have FOUR chapters of the Bohrok-Kal's Ramblings to write today, plus the SECRET chapter. Or, I would, if the WYSIWYG editor doesn't fail me.

Anyway, before I start writing those four chapters and the secret one (and restart my computer. Stupid antivirus program!), got a, well, er, thing, to say.

As none of you remember, I used to write a lot of comedies. A LOT. Okay, I lied. But I used to have a bunch of actually-rather-popular comedies that people apart from Toa Zehvor actually read. So, instead of bothering with my-honestly-really-dang-awful-stupid comedies, Yet Another Story I'll Probably Forget About (review: 5/10) and An Ask Us Story With A Twist (review: 1/10) (You have to give me credit though. I don't need to rely on stupid scripts to write stuff like most comedies in this section)...

What was I saying? Oh yes. I have a question for you.

Which of these comedies would you like to see me bring back from the dead?
- Phovos's (Stolen) Diaries
- Reading Over My Shoulder Is Dangerous To My Health
- The Toa Nuva's Ramblings
- None of the above! I want to see your upcoming comedy, RED VS BLU, where Tahu, Jaller and Hakaan attempt to infiltrate the base of BLU, run by Gali, Nokama, Hahli, Macku, a Gahlok of some sort (can't have a Raptor-written comedy without Bohrok) and a bunch of other blue Bionicle creatures.
- None of the above again! Just stick to what you know and just do The Bohrok-Kal's Ramblings!
- Just go away and die, Phovos. We all hate your comedies.

[Applejack]

I say the last option. loljk

Bring the nuva's ramblings back.

[Phovos the Raptor]

Okieee, that's ONE vote for TTNR!

And now for my second chapter of TBKR today! Only chapter 4 and the Hidden Chapter to go!

Also, unveiling my new banner:

Everyone read this! It contains previews for The Toa Nuva's Ramblings, Reading Over My Shoulder is Dangerous to my Health and Stolen Diaries!

Edited by Phovos the Raptor, Oct 17 2012 - 03:18 AM.

[JL v2]

Either the last or RvB.

[Phovos the Raptor]

I hope you're all joking when you say that last option...

That forgotten Bohrok-Kal's Ramblings chapter is finished.

Just one more chapter of the Bohrok-Kal's Ramblings to go! Has Tahnok killed himself? Will Kohrak calm down? Will Lehvak ever shut up? Who knows?

Well, I do, since I'm writing the story.

[Hurricane iBrow]

Do the Red vs. Blu comedy!

-ibrow

[Phovos the Raptor]

I guess I'd better get my RED VS BLU comedy demo out then!

...

Jaller grunted as he watched the strange building in the distance. He really wanted to know what it was. Problem was, he wasn't allowed anywhere near it. Last time he'd even got close, a rocket exploded by his feet and he was blown all the way back here. Where was here anyway?

"You still watching them?" Tahu wandered by, carrying a large crate.

"Yep. I want to know what's inside."

Tahu paused to scratch his head, dropping the crate on his foot. As he hopped around in pain, Jaller just sighed and went back to watching the tower. Wasn't the most exciting job around, really, but Jaller was curious.

"That flaming hurt..." Tahu rubbed his foot better, then gave up on the crate and stood next to Jaller, in no way making Jaller feel less awesome. "Anyway, what do you think is in there?"

Jaller shrugged. He really wasn't sure. "Could be anything. My bet is some kind of powerful blue crystal that gives all those water Toa their powers."

The Toa of Fire snorted. "Come on, Jaller! Have some imagination! They might have powerful new weapons! Or a castle made of gingerbread! Or a pegasus called Rainbow Dash!"

Jaller blinked. Did Tahu really just say 'Rainbow Dash'? Surely the hero of Bionicle had lost his mind or something? Mentioning a show about stupid little multicoloured female horses, a show aimed at human children. "Did you just..."

"Don't look at me!" Tahu backed away. "Blame Lewa! He got me into it!"

Suddenly, something exploded at the tower. A small dot flew towards them, getting bigger and bigger until it crashed into Jaller.

"Did you try a frontal assault too, Hakaan?" Tahu asked.

The Piraka just growled and picked himself up off the ground, dusting himself off. "What do you think, you..."

All of a sudden, Tahu started singing to cover up the trail of swear words that echoed from Hakaan's mouth. Jaller covered his ears and shuffled away, using Tahu as cover. When Hakaan finished, Tahu stopped singing and tried to change the subject. "Do you like My Little Pony, Hakaan?"

"Toa, I don't care about stupid horses..."

"Ponies... They're ponies..." Tahu corrected him.

"Whatever..." Hakaan growled. "I just want to get whatever weapons are inside that tower of blue..."

Jaller scratched his head. "You sure it's weapons?"

"Yep... Stupid BLU fools..."

Tahu butted in. "Erm, what does BLU stand for?"

Hakaan growled, pointing at the large letters that went down the side of the blue tower. "Bionic Liquid United, you thick-skulled moron."

[Hurricane iBrow]

I would follow this... I would so follow this. Although it's "Hakann", not "Hakaan".

-ibrow

[Toa Zehvor MT]

Zoinks. It's the grammar nazis.

-MT

[ZHX]

Ah, it seems as if Tahu has fallen into the lure of adorable and fuzzy equines.

[Meta Nuva]

Good entries, Rarity and Phovos.

Tomorrow is MY turn. Unfortunately, though, Part 2 of the finale will most likely not be up tomorrow.

Everything else is ready. IT'S GO TIME!!!

~MN~

[Toa Zehvor MT]

Good job, Phovos. So many chapters(I'll have to get around to reviewing them tomorrow).

-Mt

[Phovos the Raptor]

Yes... Now imagine a little green Raptor slumped over her keyboard, drooling on it... That'd be me!

Go, Meta Nuva, go!

[Meta Nuva]

MY TURN!

Meta Nuva

Hello, and once again, welcome to the 1^st Annual Comedy Forum Expo 2012! I am Meta Nuva, and today, October 18^th, is my expo day!

So yay. Introduction now—Hey, I’m supposed to be narrating this!

Oh, hello, Narrator. How are you?

I’d be better if you weren’t stealing my narrating spot!

This is real life, Narrator, not a comedy! But I suppose you’d like to tell people about—

Oh, so that’s what I interrupted you for. Sorry, I forgot for a second. Anyway, there’s a TAoT spinoff coming up, called How to Escape the Wig Salon. It stars characters that have died in TAoT, such as Turaga Nuju, Berix, TSO—

Wouldn’t you like to mention yourself?

But I’m not dead! Anyway, the upcoming comedy details, well, it’s pretty self-explanatory. In fact, I have a little tidbit—

I love that word. Tidbit, tidbit, tidbit.

Actually, I have the entire Prologue up here for you:

How to Escape the Wig Salon

Prologue: Questions

In the Wig Salon…

The Wig Salon is a dreadful place. Some, like Turaga Nuju, say that it is most relaxing. But others, like Black Hole, find it dreadful and want to escape.

Take it from me, the one and only Narrator. Well, it used to be that way. After I annoyed my master ever-so much, he ordered me to the wig salon for eternity.

But here’s the problem: the Wig Salon Retirement Home, or WSRH, is where dead people go. I’m not dead. I was simply ordered here for eternity. TN:TS didn’t stab me, or give me poisoned protodermis. He couldn’t, because all of us in, well, our company, are immortal. So how can I be here, then?

And how can I get out?


Great job, Narrator. Now, I’d like to call TN:TS to the stand.

You make it sound like we’re in a criminal case.

Shush. Also, please note how TN:TS and I are different entities now.

Apparently he didn’t like Tahu Nuva: Toa of Silver, folks.

It got boring. Plus, who doesn’t like Meta Knight?

Obviously that yellow marshmallow doesn’t.

What? Kirby’s not a yellow marshmallow! He’s PINK!

Oh…sorry to offend you, Globin.

Yeesh. I’m out of this expo.

And then where are you going to go? Quack Quack has already given you up for Voltex!

I’ll just kill Mario, Luigi, Fawful, and Bowser! How about them apples?

Shut up, marshmallow. Anyway, now he’s Meta Nuva, and I’m still TN:TS.

Don’t worry, TN:TS. I’m going to upgrade you by the time TAoT’s sequel comes out anyway, so we don’t have another “Karzahni” moment.

You weren’t supposed to say that he was alive!

You just made it apparent to the whole of BZP. Another reason why I’m upgrading you.

CURSE YOU…or me. Anyway, the sequel to TAoT is named The Fire Chronicles.

That you can say. Not “Oh, Karzahni survived!”.

Well, thanks. Also, some members of the Smash Bros. crew will be staying behind, one unintentionally, though.

Please don’t tell me it’s Olimar.

:facepalm: EX, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU READ TAoT?!? He’s dead!

Hey—

AND SO ARE YOU, POHATU! Please upgrade me now, MN. Please.

Only when you get on topic.

FINE.

You’re just as bad as Karzahni.

Shut up. Anyway, here’s a bit of TFC’s prologue:


The Fire Chronicles: Revenge

Prologue: The World As We Know It

In the House…

The Toa looked around. He was in a large room, and on the walls were posters reading: LEGO Star Wars gets renewed for ANOTHER 10 YEARS, LEGO Friends to be awarded Toy of the Year for the 15^th time in the row, Super Mario 128 released at LAST, and more. However, there was one poster that caught his eye: BIONICLE will NEVER return. On the poster was a blackened Mask of Life, and something sparked inside of the Toa’s head. Something…a past memory, a past life…but it slipped away as he tried to grab it.

That’s just part of the prologue to TFC, which will be released on October 27^th.

And it is going to be awesome. Just putting it out there.

A banner for it will be released once Chapter 1 is released. TN:TS also has some words to say regarding it:

Ah, yes. There will be at least five seasons of it, consisting of nine regular chapters and one finale. The first season, titled Revenge, will have the standard nine + finale. Also, many old characters will reappear, along with various new ones.

Also, since I am being upgraded, there will be little scenes relating to or set in NAW. However, interviews will make a return, featuring Ex, as usual, and even PSAs and Specials may appear.

All true.

That’s it, right?

Yeah, pretty much. In short, thank you for coming to my day and the CFE 2012 in its entirety! See you nex year!

Pun intended.

And cut.

DAY 3…done.

~MN~

Edited by Meta Nuva, Oct 18 2012 - 02:45 PM.

[Hurricane iBrow]

I'll check into The Fire Chronicles; nice title.

-ibrow

EDIT: I swear you guys, I'll get rid of the spell making me a duck sometime...

Edited by iBrow Voltex, Oct 18 2012 - 06:03 PM.

[Applejack]

TFC: Revenger actually looks pretty cool. Definitely reading it when it comes out.


Oh, and correction to my panel, MODS comes out NEXT Thursday.

[ShadowBionics]

Hello, there. Well, today is my day to kind of show off what I have in store for the future. For the most part, I've abandoned a lot of my old projects in favor of newer ones. The really "big" one in the series is the "The Dimwit of Time" series, which spoofs The Legend of Zelda games and revolves around Lewa acting as Link. Recently, I've finished the second installment, originally written in 2010 and originally proposed to BZPower earlier that year. The third installment, which is currently on-going, I am thinking of putting up on here as well.

It will be a spoof of Twilight Princess and is set many hundreds of years after The Dimwit of Time/The Moron's Mask, following a new Lewa (if you understand the games, then you get why it's going to be like this) and his battle against an ancient evil. Here's a teaser I worked up with. For those who followed The Moron's Mask, I spoke about a deleted chapter 24. This is part of chapter 24, reworked into a teaser.
-----------------------------------------------------

In the land of Metru Nui, there are whispers of many great legends. There are echos of a legend of a great hero who triumphed over evil and saved the land through his courage, stupidity, and sheer luck. The hero departed on a great voyage to search for a valuable friend, believing that evil to have been vanquished. He was wrong...

*Antroz is then seen riding his horse Nexus through a flaming forest.*

Antroz, screaming: Oh, Mata Nui, I'm on fire! I'm burning here! Why doesn't anyone help me?! AAAHH! Help me, I'm literally burning alive here! Please, I beg of you, help me! Someone please help me! Stop showing this flashback! It's very painful to me!

Upon returning to his own time, the young hero had the wicked burned man in black armor imprisoned before his rise to power in the land he abandoned, but was refused the opportunity to properly vanquish him. The wicked man was held trail for his heinous crimes and desires...

*Somewhere in the Po-Metru desert, the ones called "the Sages" were summoned to execute him. Unlike the sages of the timeline Lewa left behind, these Sages were only mere shadows of the ones who had yet to be awakened. All of them male and possessing a ghost-like configuration.*

*Antroz, after being found guilty, was led into the chamber where the Mirror of Twilight was held. These Sages, however, were lazy and not very bright. Antroz went along with the execution, but he would soon strike when the time was right. He allowed himself to be chained up to a rock slab with the Sages' rubber chains. He looked at them with fire in his eyes and the hatred of an ancient evil burning in his heart.*

Water Sage, brandishing sword: It's time for you to pay for your crimes, Antroz.

Antroz: Do we really need to have it be this way? Can't we all go out for a smoothie and talk it over?

Light Sage: While we do like smoothies, we can't do that. We're supposed to stab you in the chest.

Fire Sage: And then we're going to sell all your stuff to whoever wants it.

Antroz: Hmm… this simply won't do.

Forest Sage: Quit your stalling and let's get this over with.

*The Water Sage takes the sword and with one heavy, yet swift, motion, he impales Antroz with the sacred blade.*

Shadow Sage: All right, well the deed is done. Now we can go out for smoothies.

Spirit Sage: Well said.

*Sadly for them, they didn't realize how they didn't use the real sword to execute him. No… they only used the pretend sword to do the job. Antroz did not die, but he did get hurt in the chest. He slowly began to stir as the Triforce of Power glowed in his hand, granting him strength to try and break out. The sages realized too late what was going on.*

Antroz: You're going to pay dearly for that, foolish sages!

*Antroz breaks the rubber chains that held him to the stone slab and then he rushes out with a fist in front of him and he kills the Water Sage. The surviving sages could only cower in fear at the atrocity.*

Light Sage: Did he just… do a Falcon punch to kill him?!

Shadow Sage: It's Super Smash Bros. Melee all over again!

Forest Sage: What do we do?! We're too lazy to handle this guy all on our own!

*That's when they thought about where they were… the Mirror of Twilight! Without hesitation or thought, the Fire Sage activated the mirror. Antroz took the sword used to kill him, powered it up to suit his needs, and he made his way for the Sages. However, he didn't notice the Mirror of Twilight behind him. The mirror activated and opened a portal to the Twilight Realm. It then activated a vacuum and started to pull Antroz in. He tried his best to resist, but in the end the force was too much for him and he was banished into the Twilight Realm to be imprisoned for the rest of his days… at least for now, it seemed.*

*The Sages all looked over to where their fallen comrade once stood. After that, they all decided to go out for smoothies.*

-------------------------------------------------------------------

That is the teaser for Twilight Delinquent, which is on chapter 25 as I am writing this, so with that said, everything else is pre-written and may/may not contain some dated material. I have also contemplated on making another one after this one is ended, either between Skyward Sword or Wind Waker, which is "the land he abandoned" referenced in the teaser. Skyward Sword however is a prequel to Ocarina of Time, thusly the Skyward Sword parody will be a prequel to The Dimwit of Time. I've asked people as to which one they would like to see more, but no one really ever answered me. So if anyone would like to provide feedback, please feel free to do so.

Here is a small test writing for an untitled Skyward Sword parody I thought up of...

-----------------------------------------------------------------

*Lewa stepped through the boss door upon putting the key in its place--*

Lewa: That's not a key! It's a freak-weird puzzle piece!

*MOVING ON... Lewa found himself in a circular chamber, and a lone door with a glowing symbol associated with the goddess Hylia. Lewa figured it might be a clue as to where Nokama was. Before he could get any closer, he was stopped by an explosion of diamonds and FABULOUSNESS.*

*Lewa moved his hand away to see some sort of creepy guy standing in his way with a long, black-bladed sword in hand. He raised the sword above his head, but then stopped suddenly, making it vanish into FABULOUS diamonds.*

Lewa:Oh, look, it's Debbie.

Ghirahim: Oh, look who it is... And my name isn't Debbie, you know? Do you have any idea how it makes me feel whenever someone calls me that...?

Lewa: No. And I just did that randomly. I had no idea it was some kind of hate-plague against you.

Ghirahim: It makes me FURIOUS! OUTRAGED! SICK WITH ANGER! But enough about that...

*Ghirahim turns around, facing Lewa for the first time, revealing he had a wannabe Princess Rosalina haircut and some bad purple eyeliner.*

Ghirahim: I thought the tornado I stirred up would have torn you apart, yet here you are. *sigh* Not that your life or death would have any consequence.

Lewa: Well, you're no prize either, you know. Who else would want to dress up like some circus reject wannabe?

*Somewhere in the future...*

Zant: Princess Luna! Where are my rainbow wig and shoes made from real pumpkins?!

*Back in the Skyview Temple...*

Ghirahim: Well, none of that matters. It's just the girl that matters now, and I can sense her here... just beyond this door.

Lewa: Ah-ha! So she is here then!

Ghirahim: Yes, we plucked her "specialness" from her perch in the clouds, and now she's ours.

Lewa: Why do you speak as if you're more than one person? Weird-freak.

Ghirahim: Oh, but listen to me. I've forgotten my manners. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is not DEBBIE as you so rudely suggest.

*He does a hair flip as he turns back around.*

Ghirahim: I am the demon who presides over this land you look down upon... The surface. You may call me Ghirahim. In truth, I prefer to be indulged with my full title: Lord Ghirahim.

Lewa: Lord Creep-zone is more like it. *Annoyed, Lewa takes out the Goddess Sword and his shield.*

Ghirahim: Did you really just draw your sword? Fool.

*Ghirahim turns back around one more time to face Lewa.*

Ghirahim: By all rights, the girl should have fallen into our hands already.

Lewa: Who is this other person?! I don't see them!

Ghirahim: She was nearly ours when that loathsome servant of the goddess snatched her away.

*That's when Ghirahim starts to lose it... but nothing compared to how Zant did... or will, rather. Dang, prequels are confusing.*

Ghirahim: Do you have any idea how that made me feel inside?

Lewa: Furious, outraged, sick with anger?

Ghirahim: FURIOUS! OUTRAGED! SICK WITH ANGER!

Lewa: Yeah, you kind of said that before.

*Ghirahim suddenly vanishes into diamonds, but his voice still filled the chamber.*

Ghirahim: This turn of events has left me with a strong appetite for violence.

Lewa, freaking out: Wait, we can talk about this. This doesn't have to end with me getting killed by a creept nutjob like you.

*That's when Ghirahim appears again, right behind Lewa all creepy Voldemort style. Lewa was scared stiff the moment he felt that Ghirahim was right behind him.*

Ghirahim: You're right. It seems hardly fair, being of my position to take all of my anger out on you. Which is why I promise upfront not to destroy you.

Lewa, scared/sarcastic: Well, that's a relief!

Ghirahim: No, I'm just going to beat you up really badly. Now watch my creepy snake tongue!

*Ghirahim steps forward a few feet and sticks out and wiggles his snake-ling tongue to be creepy, making Lewa jump back despite that Ghirahim wasn't really near him.*

Lewa: What are you?

Ghirahim, laughs: I am the solution.

---------------------------------------------------

And that's a small test-writing for my untitled Skyward Sword spoof. Whether or not this will be in the final project remains to be determined, considering this isn't even in development yet. This is just a preview of how the characters would behave and just me working on an idea out of boredom that I kept. And as those of you who might have played the game before, I've altered this scene a bit, because the game is kind of dark when you think about it. A lot of the dialogue itself surpasses Twilight Princess and Majora's Mask in terms of how dark and sort of frightening they are. So yeah, I'm going to probably make the whole thing like that when I get to it, considering there's a lot of points in the game that do scare me. One of which made me cringe in terror.


And now for a bit of a minor spoiler for The Moron's Mask. At the end of chapter 23, the Happy Mask Salesman claims that the evil spirit in the mask of death is gone. This is not true. Elitha is not gone, and she is not a spirit. She has a "spirit form", but this is only as a ploy and for safety. Elitha survived the fight with Lewa on the moon. She's still very much alive. That is all I'll say about that. It's kind of a key plot point that I didn't go into much, mainly because I felt it would have driven the story on for too long. So in other words, no one knows anything about Elitha, aside from Elitha herself.


And now for a sort of poll.

Which of these projects would you be interested in seeing me continue on? I haven't done so because I'm almost not sure if anyone likes them or not.

A Day in the Life of Teridax?/ Just Another Day with Teridax
Final Dinner

I can continue either or both, but just something I'd want to know. Here's a small teaser for ADITLOT/JADWT.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Torah: Okay, Teridax wanted me to get... what was it again?

*Torah walks down the street to the market when he passes by a randomly placed radio for the sake of being random.*

DJ on radio: You're listening to Radio KPodge, where we bring you smashing and crushing great hits. Here is a preview one of my personal favorites, coming up later on.

Carly Rae Jepsen: Hey, I just met you. And this is crazy, but here's my number, so call me, maybe?

Torah: That song is annoying.

Zombified crowd: Must crush Brotherhood of Morons. Must crush Brotherhood of Morons.

Torah: Uh... why are you all coming at me with torches and pitchforks? Can't we talk this out? Wait... please! Don't come any closer!

*As the crowd begins to clobber the dimwitted Makuta, we see that just above the building where the radio was placed, the DJ himself sits down and looks upon the horrible sight. Who is the DJ?*

Hodge Podge, with microphone: All that and more coming up on Radio KPodge. HA HA HA!

-----------------------------------------------------------


And that's about it for now. There will be more to arrive from me as time progresses. Until then, see you all some other time. Bye.

[King of the Madness Isles]

Sorry I didn't post, I'm using the slow desktop because my laptop is being sent in for repairs. Onto my observations of the posting thus far!

Rarity: You caught my attention by saying that M.O.D.S. was controversial. Will check out Season 2.

Phovos: I use to love Stolen Diaries as a guest! Will read the sequel dedicatedly!

Meta: The Fire Chronicles. Great name, will check out/investigate...

ShadowBionics: Never realized you wrote Zelda spoofs. That's my favorite game series, and Twilight Princess is my favorite game of all time! Will read, and maybe read your earlier two. It seems you're going with parodies of the Child Timeline for now (assuming you agree with the Split Timeline theory).

EDIT: Forgot about your mention of Wind Waker. However, any game taking place before Ocarina (in this case Skyward Sword) is canon to both timelines (as well as the first two games, it's assumed they happened either way).

Edited by PurpleBouncy, Oct 19 2012 - 06:32 PM.

[JL v2]

Hmmm. Nice. Never played LoZ games before, but still cool.

While I couldn't read all of that due to chronic laziness and procrastination, I'll be following it.

Edited by Jl1223 X, Oct 19 2012 - 07:14 PM.

[Hurricane iBrow]

I think, considering that I believe Ocarina of Time, Majora's Mask, and Twilight Princess are all the same continuity, that a Skyward Sword parody would be better to do first - and then maybe after it's done a Wind Waker "what if" sort of parody.

-ibrow

[TNTOS]

(Note: This post will be in a question and answer format. Questions are in bold)

Introduction

Hello, Comedies forum-goers! My name is TNTOS and today for the Comedies Forum Expo I am showcasing my upcoming comedy, BIONICLE: The Legend Imploded, the final comedy in my trilogy of Bionicle story parodies, which are collectively called the Legend Trilogy.

The Legend Trilogy began in 2010 with BIONICLE: The Legend Reloaded (TLR), a parody of the movie BIONICLE: The Legend Reborn. It was followed in 2011 by BIONICLE: The Legend Exploded (TLE), the sequel parodying the story for the unreleased and untitled Bionicle 5 movie.

And now, coming Saturday, December 1st, 2012, I am going to post BIONICLE: The Legend Imploded (TLI), which, as I have said before, is the final comedy in the entire trilogy.

What’s this comedy about?

Here’s a brief summary of the comedy:

The Legend Trilogy comes to its awesome conclusion as Mata Nui’s old foe, Makuta Teridax, returns with a vengeance. Teridax proves far too powerful for Mata Nui to defeat on his own, which forces our psychotic hero and his equally mad friends to go on a grand adventure across the entire planet in search of the six golden armor pieces, which if brought together will give Mata Nui the power he needs to defeat Teridax once and for all.

But Teridax is aware of the golden armor as well and sends his own minions all over the planet to find the golden armor pieces before Mata Nui and friends do.

The race is on as Mata Nui’s friends and Teridax’s minions try to get the golden armor pieces first, resulting in epic battles, bizarre meta-jokes and pop culture references, and even stranger plot twists that would make any observant reader cry (not because they are beautiful or sad but because they’re so stupid).

Unlike the last two comedies, TLI is not based on an existing Bionicle movie. It instead takes elements and ideas from the 2010 story (hence the golden armor) and is mostly original story. Only the basic plot resembles anything from the canon story.

Any new characters I need to know about?

Glad you asked because TLI, like TLE before it, introduces a handful of new characters to the cast.

The first two are Tahu and Takanuva, who join Mata Nui’s gang as they search for the golden armor pieces. Tahu is a rough, serious, no-nonsense kind of guy whose “Burn first, ask questions later (maybe)” philosophy resembles Mata Nui’s own approach to situations and problems.

Takanuva is a surfer dude who is often confused about the world and is never sure about anything. His catchphrase is “I dunno, man . . . I mean, I dunno, man.”

New villains are introduced as well. There’s Makuta Teridax, the main antagonist of the story, who like the canon Teridax is a scheming mastermind with plans within plans. He’s also quite immature and cries and pouts when things don’t go his way. He is also the only villain in the entire trilogy who is able to go toe-to-toe with Mata Nui and live to tell the tale.

Along with Teridax, I introduce most of the Brotherhood of Makuta members: Antroz, Chirox, Vamprah, Bitil, Gorast, Krika, Icarax, and Mutran, as well as Brotherhood servants Vican and Nektann. I won’t bore you with bios of each Makuta, but suffice to say they’re all completely insane (just like every other character in this trilogy, in fact).

Although not a new character, Gresh undergoes a drastic personality change between TLE and TLI. He loses his accent and becomes a bubbly, happy-go-lucky guy. I did this to make him funnier and less annoying because some readers complained about his accent making him hard to understand back in TLR.

Also, some old characters make their reappearance. The personification of Death from TLR returns, as do a couple other characters. I will refrain from saying anything more, however, because to say more would be to spoil the comedy, which would kind of defeat the purpose of this preview.

Care to show us anything concrete or are you just going to keep talking about it?

Of course. As a preview, here’s the entire first chapter:


Mata Nui sat down at the table and stared at the two beings he was meeting. He had already been sitting down, but had chosen to sit down again in order to make a point (although as it was Mata Nui forgot what that point had been).

The tavern in which Mata Nui was meeting his new companions was a loud and rowdy place. Drunkards sat at the bar, singing drinking songs that cannot be repeated here due to their inappropriate lyrics. Sufficient to say, if you know anything about classical music, you would be offended by these songs.

A low cloud of heavy smoke seemed to hang above their heads, suspended as it was above the ceiling by a thick length of rope. It is safe to warn you, the readers, that this story generally ignores logic, coherency, and of course sanity, so please shut off your minds for the duration of this story, lest your brains fry from attempting to come up with logical explanations for every extraordinary thing that occurs here.

“All right,” said Mata Nui, leaning forward in his chair. “What can I do to get you two guys to help me?”

The two gentlemen Mata Nui had spoken to were Toa. One was of a bright crimson coloration, carrying a rifle that looked remarkably like flame, while the other was white and carried twin shot guns that looked remarkably like shot guns.

The red one, whose name is Tahu, yawned loudly and said, “Nothing. I’ve told you once, Mata Nui, and I’ve told you twice, I’m not going to work with you. Just because we’re friends on Facebook doesn’t mean I have to come to your aid whenever you need it.”

“But we’re war buddies!” said Mata Nui, clasping his hands together as though in prayer. “You were there when I thought I killed Teridax the first time! We’ve been through so much together!”

“You can’t convince me Teridax is still alive,” said Tahu, folding his arms and pouting like a child. “The letter you showed me is written in crayon. It could have been written by anybody.”

“Takanuva, my friend,” said Mata Nui, turning his attention to the fairer of the two. “You believe me, don’t you?”

Takanuva scratched his head and said, “Geez, Mata Nui, I dunno. I mean, you sure sound serious about Teridax being back and all that, but on the other hand, I dunno, man.”

“So yes or no?” Mata Nui asked.

“I dunno, man,” said Takanuva, shaking his head. “I mean . . . I dunno.”

Mata Nui sighed in frustration and said to Tahu, “Tahu, come on, dude. I need your and Takanuva’s help. I have a feeling Teridax will attack at any moment.”

“Yeah, right,” said Tahu. “Teridax has been dead for years. You’re just paranoid. Probably post-traumatic stress disorder or something.”

“I dunno, man,” said Takanuva, looking at Mata Nui with uncertainty. “He seems pretty convinced, but then again, I dunno, man.”

“What will it take for me to convince you that Teridax is back and we need your help?” said Mata Nui. “I mean, we don’t need your help, but it would be nice if you helped.”

“In order for me to believe your claim, I’d have to see Teridax himself burst through the wall like the Kool-Aid guy,” said Tahu. “The chances of that happening, however, are-“

At that moment, the eastern wall suddenly exploded and a giant being in black, rusty-looking armor burst through holding a gigantic pitcher of red liquid. The being wore an ugly-looking mask that bespoke of evil and indigestion, if my medical analysis is correct.

“OH YEAH!!” the being exclaimed, causing everyone in the room to look at him. “Makuta Teridax is in the house!”

Mata Nui smirked at Tahu’s dumbfounded expression. “See? I was right and you were wrong and I am never, ever going to let you forget this. Neener neener.”

“Impossible,” said Tahu. “How could Teridax still be alive?”

“I dunno, man,” said Takanuva, shaking his head again. “I mean . . . I dunno.”

Then the being known as Teridax turned his attention to Mata Nui, Tahu, and Takanuva. The Makuta smiled evilly as he tossed the pitcher of Kool-Aid away. When the pitcher landed on the people sitting at the bar, it exploded, thus incinerating them. The author has informed me, however, that these people were not really hurt in the explosion and that it was all really just an illusion created by CGI.

“Mata Nui,” said Teridax with a smug tone. “Long time no see, old friend.”

“Teridax,” said Mata Nui, standing up with his two friends. “What are you doing here?”

“You remember what my letter said,” said Teridax. “If you did not come to fight me, I would come to you. And so I have.”

Tahu glanced down at the letter Mata Nui had shown him, which was written in crayon, as has been already established. “Why did you write it in crayon?”

“Crayon is untraceable because so many children use crayons,” said Teridax. “You’d have to arrest every child in the world before you discovered that it was an adult who had written a letter with crayon!”

“But you weren’t trying to hide yourself,” Tahu observed. “You explicitly signed your signature at the bottom.”

“Do shut up,” Teridax informed him.

“Teridax, this isn’t the right time,” said Mata Nui. “I mean, yeah, you did prove my point, but didn’t you know that I only ever fight the Big Bad at the end of every story? This is the beginning, moron.”

“Oh, I know, Mata Nui,” said Teridax with a dark smile. “That is why I have chosen to attack you now rather than later. You are unprepared for this attack, so there is no way I can lose!”

With that, Teridax lunged at our three heroes, but Mata Nui had seen that coming. He kicked a chair through the air and it collided with Teridax, which for some reason exploded. The explosion sent Teridax spinning through the air until he crashed through another wall, creating yet another explosion.

“Pfft,” said Mata Nui. “This is gonna be easy.”

Just as Mata Nui finished uttering those words, Teridax emerged from the smoking wreckage of the wall he’d crashed into. His armor didn’t appear at all damaged; in fact, the Makuta looked almost stronger for the defeat.

“Nice try, Mata Nui,” said Teridax as he kicked aside a piece of rubble, which exploded. “But you cannot defeat me so early. Otherwise, where is the story?”

“Arbitrary rules are arbitrary, Teridax,” said Mata Nui. “But it does look like I’m going to need a bit more to teach you a lesson. Huzzah!”

Mata Nui raised his hand and a small insect creature, known as Click, climbed up his arm until it reached his palm. With an explosion of light and the most dreadful of guitar playing, the insect known as Click was replaced with a rifle that, the author tells me, is called the 40k Mighty Grandma Assault rifle, or 40k MGA for short.

With the speed of a cheetah, Mata Nui swept up several chairs and tables and crammed them down his gun’s barrel. This caused the gun to glow with built-up energy as Mata Nui took aim and said, “Smoke this!”

Mata Nui pulled the trigger, sending a massive burst of energy from the 40k MGA that flew toward Teridax. Without even blinking, Teridax snapped his fingers, causing the blast from the 40k MGA to implode into nothingness.

“Oh crud,” said Mata Nui, looking at his gun. “I did not see that coming.”

“Let me take care of him,” said Tahu as he stepped forward. “Teridax may be able to destroy energy blasts just by snapping his fingers, but can he take the heat?”

After making that terrible pun, Tahu raised his rifle and fired off several flaming bullets at the Makuta. Teridax took them all, stumbling backwards as he was hit by bullet after bullet. Every spot Tahu hit exploded into flames until the Makuta was completely obscured by the burning fire.

Yet the Makuta did not scream. Instead, he stopped, dropped, and rolled until the fire went out and then he was back on his feet. He smelled oddly of crispy chicken nuggets, which are making me hungry the more I think about it.

“What?” said Tahu in horror. “But burning stuff always works!”

“Takanuva, can you defeat Teridax?” said Mata Nui, glancing at the Toa of Light.

“Well, I dunno man, I might,” said Takanuva, scratching the back of his head with one of his shot guns. “But . . . I dunno, man.”

“Just try,” said Mata Nui, shoving Takanuva forward.

Takanuva stared at Teridax for a moment and then, without warning, ran at the Makuta at the speed of light (pun intended). As he did so, Takanuva’s body charged with energy and he body-slammed Teridax, again sending the Makuta flying out of the tavern. When Teridax landed outside, it created a massive earthquake, although the earthquake got bored and left when it realized there were no huge buildings around for it to destroy.

“Good job, Takanuva!” said Mata Nui, giving his friend the thumbs up. “I mean, I could have done that, obviously, but I was feeling generous so-“

At that moment, Teridax rose from the crater he had created. He dashed at Takanuva, who had turned his back on the defeated Makuta, and body-slammed the Toa of Light in the back. The blow sent Takanuva flying through the air screaming like a little girl.

Takanuva crashed into the bar, the impact of which created a mini explosion that Mata Nui grabbed and hurled into space, where it would hurt no one.

Then Teridax jumped back into the tavern and dusted off his posh white suit that he was wearing for no reason other than to make a dumb joke about posh white suits.

“Good try, all of you,” said Teridax. “Now it’s my turn.”

Teridax suddenly vanished and reappeared in front of Mata Nui and Tahu. He grabbed the two heroes and smashed their heads together. This would have killed ordinary individuals, but it should be noted that Mata Nui and Tahu have thicker than usual skulls, so it only hurt a little.

Then Teridax hurled our heroes through another wall (makes you wonder how this place is still standing considering all of the walls they’ve destroyed already). Mata Nui and Tahu landed hard on the ground, dazed and in pain.

“Hey, Tahu?” said Mata Nui as he sat up, shaking his head.

“Yeah, Mata Nui?” said Tahu, looking at his strange friend.

“I think we should retreat,” said Mata Nui. “I mean, not as in like, run away like schoolgirls or anything, but like strategically retreat and regroup, you know?”

“Yeah, but what about Takanuva?” said Tahu. “He’s still-“

It was at that moment that Takanuva went flying out of the back door. He smashed into the ground next to Mata Nui and Tahu, but as he also had an unusually thick skull, he survived without much harm to his cranium.

“There he is,” said Mata Nui, pointing at Takanuva. “Now like I was saying-“

Mata Nui was interrupted by the entire tavern exploding. Acting quickly, everyone’s favorite action hero created a barrier of energy around him and his friends, protecting them from the deadly flames that would have incinerated them had Mata Nui not acted. When the explosion faded, Mata Nui let the energy barrier down.

Standing in the spot where the tavern used to be was Teridax. He wasn’t wearing his posh white suit anymore, but he carried a rather lethal-looking spear, with a sticker on it that read ‘MAKUTAFEST ‘12’.

“Okay, yeah,” said Tahu. “We should definitely retreat and regroup. Not run away.”

“Yes,” said Mata Nui, nodding fervently. “Right, Takanuva?”

“I dunno, man,” said Takanuva with a shrug. “I mean . . . I dunno, man.”

Teridax began walking toward them, saying as he did so, “There’s nowhere you can run and hide now, Mata Nui. Wherever you go, I shall follow. And wherever you follow, I shall go.”

That last line didn’t quite make sense, but seeing as Teridax was probably going to pound them into pulp, Mata Nui decided to act and not question.

“Ninja smoke bomb!” said Mata Nui as he tossed a ninja smoke bomb in front of him and his allies.

The explosion startled Teridax, briefly obscuring his vision. The Makuta recovered quickly, however, and blew away the smoke with a single gust of wind, but when it passed, Mata Nui, Tahu, and Takanuva were nowhere to be seen.

“Darn it!” said Teridax, stomping his feet. “That’s not fair! I wanted to kill him! Wahh!”

Teridax got on his hands and knees and started pounding the ground until he realized just how stupid he looked. Then he immediately stood back up and tried to look as dignified as possible, although after that disgusting performance of immaturity, it didn’t seem possible for him to have any dignity left.

“I know what Mata Nui will do next,” said Teridax, speaking out loud for some reason. “He is going to get the plot device necessary to defeat me. I must tell my minions to get it before he does!”

So Teridax disappeared in a funky flash of darkness and awesome, thus setting the stage for the rest of this comedy, which will be, in all likelihood, as pretentious and stupid as the last two were. Oh well.


How long is it, anyway? I don’t want to spend a lot of time reading it because I have a short attention span not a lot of time to spend reading long fanfics

The entire comedy is 27 chapters long (plus the prologue). By comparison, TLR was 34 chapters and TLE was 19, making TLI the second longest comedy in the trilogy, chapter-wise.

I plan to post one chapter a week every Saturday starting December 1st. I will announce new chapters in my sig and on my blog as they are posted.

Explain to me why this whole trilogy is badly-written

My idea of humor is very absurdist. People can grab explosions, characters pull posh white suits out of nowhere, and everything is sapient if a joke calls for it, among other things. This just happens to be what I find very funny.

Also, a big aspect of the Legend Trilogy -- including TLI -- is that it parodies bad writing. Hence there will be plot holes big enough to drive a semi through, characters will do the most ridiculous things for no good reason, and Deus ex Machinas will come out of nowhere, all for the readers' enjoyment. This, again, just happens to be what I find funny.

I will say, however, that TLI's plot is structured better than the plots of TLR and TLE, although it's still fairly ridiculous, possibly even more so depending on your point of view.

Can a reader new to the trilogy understand TLI without having to read TLR and TLE first? Or am I going to have to sacrifice my weekends just to understand it?

Your weekends are going to be just fine, Anonymous Reader. TLI’s prologue is a (humorous) recap of the last two comedies. As long as you read the prologue, you should be able to understand TLI fairly well.

However, I do recommend that you read TLR and TLE first, mostly because I believe TLI is more enjoyable that way. Imagine reading the last Harry Potter book without reading the first six books. It’s enjoyable on its own, sure, but many of the references and ideas make so much more sense if you’d read the previous books first (not that I’m saying the Legend Trilogy makes sense, mind you).

In other words, it's not mandatory, but I do suggest it.

Any last bits of trivia you want to blab on about?

I wrote TLI while listening to “Believe it or not” by Joey Scarbury, “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey, and “Magic” by Pilot. If that sounds awful to you, then you probably won’t like TLI. If that sounds awesome to you, then we’re best friends forever.

I also intend to put up an ad for it in the community calendar soon, so keep an eye open for further news regarding its release date later.

That’s about it. Remember to keep an eye on the Comedies forum on Saturday, December 1st, 2012. That’s the beginning of the end of something no one really cares about.

-TNTOS-

Edited by TNTOS, Oct 20 2012 - 06:39 PM.

[Toa Zehvor MT]

Sorry I've missed the past two days, been busy arguing with people in Kentucky.

Anyways, CFE has looked really interesting while I've been gone. Zelda spoof sounds like an amazing idea, and I would totally follow that all the way.

(*cough* Skyward Sword first *cough*)

Good opening by TNTOS, too. Kool-aid man jokes never get old.

And who asked the questions in your post, if I might ask?

-MT

[TNTOS]

Good opening by TNTOS, too. Kool-aid man jokes never get old.

And who asked the questions in your post, if I might ask?

-MT

Thanks .

No one asked the questions. I just made them up because I thought it'd be a more entertaining way of presenting my comedy, rather than using normal categories like I originally planned.

-TNTOS-

[Hurricane iBrow]

This looks interesting - I'll check it out once it's released!
And December holds a rather... particular place in my heart this year, so that makes the comedies being released then even better...

-ibrow

[ZHX]

Wait, a third story in that trilogy?

I am gladly awaiting it.

Also waiting for the LoZ spoof. I rather like your spoofs SB.

Now then, it's already the 21st in Australia, but I'll wait another five hours.

[TNTOS]

This looks interesting - I'll check it out once it's released!

-ibrow

Thanks .

Wait, a third story in that trilogy?

I am gladly awaiting it.

Yep. I assume you've read the other two stories?

-TNTOS-