Next stop on MT's comedy review train is here, and it took me a while to get through all of this, which made me feel some form of pity for people who ever attempt to get into the incredibly tangled web of backstory and literally hundreds of chapters that make up the story of the TBTTRAH Series. But oh well. Here's some thoughts.
For starters, it definitely helped that I played Twilight Princess. Did it help that TP is quite possibly my least favorite console 3D Zelda? Meh, probably not. But at any rate that's off topic, so here's my actual opinion.
For starters, this is obviously way too late to implement, and it's a bit of a nitpick, but since it's a parody of TP, if you're going to change the name of the main character, you might as well throw in a bit of creativity and change the names of all of them. Sticking Lewa into the world of Twilight Princess and letting him run free and interact with the characters of the Zelda world is an interesting concept, but this comedy appears to be more of a "Lewa replaces Link and basically follows the same plot as TP." In that regard, I think it could have helped mix things up if some of the characters had been changed around into other Bionicles; say, for example, instead of the two Yetis in Snowpeak, you could have Nocturn and Gadunka. Just a thought.
(This is more of a nitpick than a real complaint because there are, of course, some characters renamed, but not all)
The jokes poking fun at TP's logical inconsistencies(such as how in the world Ooccoo manages to get from temple to temple, and how the sages are incredibly lazy) are pretty funny, and probably my favorite part of the comedy. For that, I give a thumbs up.
Outside of that, though...I was kind of confused for quite a bit of the comedy. Now, of course, TP is in and of itself an epic, so I'm not by any means expecting jokes every single step of the way, but quite a few of the situations that appeared to be trying to give off some humor don't really seem to make sense. For example:
Prince Khilro: You can only catch that fish with a rare piece of coral, like the one I wear as an earring. Here, take a look at it. Careful, my mother gave that to me.
Lewa: All right.
Prince Khilro: Can I have my coral earring back now?
Lewa: What coral earring?
Prince Khilro: That's low.
...maybe it's because I just haven't played Twilight Princess in a year or so, but I don't...really...get...this at all. Asking for his earring back all of a sudden, and then Lewa pretending he doesn't have it is "low?" Is it a low blow because he doesn't have ears? What makes this a "low blow?"
My other main complaint would be the lack of any form of scene transition. Lewa continually bounces from one area to another, going from Kakariko, to learning a sword technique, to Snowpeak, in the span of 15 or so lines. The issue with that is it leads to some rather jarring changes in locale as well as never giving the scene any time to develop any sort of real jokes or humor, especially when so much of the comedy is devoted to following the plot of TP so closely. Perhaps covering one area a bit more in-depth-ly, and sacrificing some additional element, might help with that.
At any rate, those are my opinions, take them or leave them for whatever they're worth. I look forward to the Skyward Sword parody(you should have a field day with Fi).
TP has a convoluted storyline that doesn't make sense at some points, even contradicting, so I wouldn't blame you got not liking it. But I figured since I started on the "Link/Child" Timeline, I'd go all the way versus jumping around between this and the "Zelda/Adult" Timeline. And I'm almost questioning tackling the "Ganon/Defeated/Decline/Downfall/Cop-Out" Timeline.
Yes, I probably might have, but considering how there are many NPCs in the world of Zelda, it would almost be impossible. At least, it was impossible for me in 2010, and it wasn't all that possible for me now. That's why some characters have unaltered names. I've tried to change some names and add familiar Bionicle characters everyone is familiar with, but like I mentioned in some other post, I have some characters already assigned to certain roles for other stories, so to assign them roles in this one would make things weird and maybe even throw off the rhythm of things a little. I haven't used a lot of the 2007 characters in much of anything in a while, so maybe I could have done that. Although say I used Nocturn for Yeto... what of Yeta? I suppose I could make up a female version of his species but then I don't know how it'd work.
This year when I was able to sit down and really put more time into it, I tried my best to implement more Bionicle characters, even some I thought of using for canceled stories I planned out. But even then, there were still some things I couldn't find a way to change.
I'm glad to hear you like those jokes that poke at the inconsistencies, those are a personal favorite if mine as well. There's a lot of things in the game that always left me asking "Why/how does that happen?" and so I used that experience in here.
With that one, in the actual game, the "beastman" steals reek fish from the river outside Zora's Domain, so you need the prince's earring which is made of a special coral to catch them. From there, Link must catch one, get the scent, follow the scent, and find Yeto. In here, what I was trying to do was poke fun at how he takes a prince's earring and never gives it back, after the prince lets him just take a look at it. Hence why the prince says he wants the earring back, and Lewa simply asks "What coral earring?" To which, the prince replies "That's low," because he was just letting him see it and now he's refusing to give it back, even acting like he's never even seen/heard of it.
Unfortunately you can kind of blame 2010 me for that. Because this comedy has taken much longer that it needed to be, I did my best to try and get as much of the story done as possible. As for the lack of scene transition, not much can be said there aside from Lewa has a large quest ahead of him and this is only an abridged version of said quest. Otherwise there's a good chance I'd be writing chapter 56 in 2014 and by then I might not even have the same kind of motivation and I'd just be so desperate to write something else. I'm not sure which elements to really go and sacrifice. Okay, perhaps some of the sidequests, yes, although I've already sacrificed quite a few. And then there's some that do play into the story near the very end, such as the sword technique ones. I'm not going to spoil it, but you will see why, and I think chapter 27 will demonstrate why.
Thank you for taking the time to look through the story, I'm kind of honored yet surprised you did. And yes, I'm going to have a field day with Fi. Not going to spoil it, but I've had something planned out for her ever since I played the game for myself in November/December of last year.
Sorry it took so long for me to reply. School, and everything else= BUSY.
I didn't even recognize Rusl until he took off the helmet. He'd been really really far in the back of my mind.
But the Dorks of the Round Table...Nuju=Shad, Nikila=the girl , Pohatu=the other guy. Brilliant matchups there.
But King Bulbin doesn't speak until Hyrule Castle...owell.
Zant is crazy. Absolutely, insanely nuts.
The Sages are really lazy, though. And why they no take me out for smoothies too? Owell.
And I like this new scene better.
Postman is creepy. Exactly how did he know
LinkLewa when he was a wolf? And then killed himmade him read all the letters with a knife at his throat?
"Midna: Elvis is just a story to scare children. Look, just go over there and talk. It's not even what you think it is."
Wait, Snowpeak Ruins=Ghirahim's mansion? Weird...
And Yetis are hilarious. KUTGW.
No, don't think much about it. I almost can't even get on here and post chapters due to my classes running into my time so frequently.
I kind of recognized him first time, but it was after he took off his helmet that I was able to go and say "Oh, so it really was him." Before, I was like "Could that be...?"
Nikila= Ashei. Pohatu= Auru, and Nuju= Shad. So yeah, that's about right. The way I've always portrayed Nuju, he was a perfect fit for Shad. Pohatu, way I've portrayed him, was always this strong, sort of smart guy who has solutions for almost anything. And for Nikila... well, I just wanted to use her somewhere and I can sort of imagine her like Ashei.
Yeah... much like I decided to make Zant insane from the get-go, I decided to make King Bulblin talk from the get-go, too. Mostly to help develop him a little more before I don't use him again.
Yup. That's partially why I like writing about Zant. He's probably the most insane character I've ever portrayed in any way.
I always figured the sages were lazy. I mean, if they're so powerful, why don't they go and stop the mess they inevitably created? Why don't they even help?
Well, glad you like the new scene better. I was torn between which one to put in, so I figured I'd put both scenes in the topic somehow.
yup. I always though he was. I'm not even sure how he could see through the wolf form.
Well, for this story, Ghirahim's mansion is in Snowpeak. I read about how fans wanted a snow/ice dungeon in Skyward Sword. One person suggested "something stupid, like Ghirahim's Mansion." Even though he was joking (I think) I liked that idea and I ran with it. And I'm going to run with it in the Skyward Sword one.
Well, glad you like the story.
And this is chapter 19 and I have no quirks or description for this one, aside from just look at it.
*After Yeta marked the map to where the key was supposed to be, Lewa wasted no time heading on over there so he could obtain the sharp of the Mirror of Twilight he thought to be here.*
Lewa: How does the food here stay so fresh?
Midna: Think of it this way: We're in the middle of the freezing, cold weather. So it's like a giant freezer out here.
Lewa: So then if we're in a freezer, that's how the food stays fresh all the time, despite being locked up in treasure chests?
Midna: Pretty much. Or at least, that's just what I think. I'm mostly making this up as I go along.
Lewa: Well, so far there's nothing in this room except these two suits of armor just standing there all creepy like. Well, at least I'm almost there.
*As Lewa goes to the other side to open the door, the door is sealed off by metal bars.*
Lewa: I think Yeta is trying to kill me.
*That thought was interrupted when a ball and chain smashes through the suit of armor Lewa was standing behind. Turning around, Lewa saw that the other suit of armor was very much in use by some lunatic swinging a ball and chain around. Wasting no time, Lewa got the Master Sword ready for battle and took down the crazy lunatic and took his weapon for his own use.*
Lewa: They don't call me the hater exterminator for nothing. Now to go get that key!
*Lewa makes his way through the rooms and finds the other chest, opening it to find…*
Midna: Food again?? I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this, too. She doesn't seem so sure of herself, does she?
Lewa: No. I mean, why am I sprint-running around this mansion for food??
Lewa: Hey, Yeto, I found more food for you.
Yeto: You bring me food? You give to me!
*Yeto throws down Lewa and takes the cheese from him.*
Lewa, crying: What's wrong with you?! I would have let you have it if you only gave me the chance!
Yeto: This soup is good. You try some?
Lewa: Fine, I'll try some, but I'm still not happy about you abusing me!
*Lewa takes up some of the soup in an empty bottle and holds it up.*
Lewa: Is this okay, mommy?
Midna: Why did you say that?
Lewa: I have no idea. *He takes a sip and turns out the soup is actually very good. He takes another bottle full and goes to talk to Yeta.*
Midna: All right, let's see what the deal is here.
Lewa: You don't have to tell me twice. Hey, Yeta? What's wrong with you?! More food?! This would have been fine last week when I wanted food, but no! I have to find this key! And why are you trying to kill me?!
Yeta: I not know what you talk about. But I sure key is right here in this room.
Lewa: Is anything going to try and kill me?
Yeta: I make no promises.
Lewa: Well, close enough.
*Lewa goes through the mansion yet again to a farther side. He goes in, and sure enough both doors on the sides lock and he finds himself face to face with a bunch of ice skelly things.*
Lewa: I think I'm going to die…
*Lewa takes the ball and chain and annihilates all of them out of fear of them and anger towards Yeta.*
Lewa: There better be a key in here, or else Yeta won't be talking for much longer…
*Lewa opens the treasure chest to get the watermelon in return. After throwing the watermelon outside the window and hitting Yeta despite the distance with it, Lewa saw another treasure chest behind the one he just opened. After opening that one, he got a key in the shape of a heart.*
Lewa: Finally… why does this look like a heart?
*So many years ago, I'm not even going to bother counting…*
Ghirahim: Yes! Yes! Isn't it just absolutely precious? My heart is just filled with rainbows on behalf of this wonderful key shape!
Midna: It doesn't matter, Lewa. As long as it opens the door and we can get the mirror shard, then it's all good.
*Lewa exits the room to be met with Yet, covered in watermelon, waiting for him.*
Lewa: I didn't do it!
Yeta: I not you what you talk about?
Lewa: Uh… Neither do I. What are you doing here?
Yeta: I was never sick. I was just tired.
Lewa: Wait… what?
Yeta: Follow me to the bedroom.
Lewa: You're doing that awkward thing again.
Yeta: To get mirror.
Lewa: Okay, that's better.
*So after following Yeta (very slowly) to the bedroom and using the heart-shaped key to open the door, Lewa went in and sure enough, there was the mirror shard against the wall.*
Yeta: I not sure about giving mirror to you. Husband gave me it as gift.
Lewa: I already told you, I need it to save the world or else everyone will die or be enslaved by Lord Helmet.
*Suddenly, that's when Yeta was overcome by some outside force, which prompted her to lead Lewa to the mirror…*
Yeta: Okay, then…
*Yeta wobbles over to the mirror shard, Lewa following behind her. As the mentioned outside force leads Yeta to the mirror, something starts to happen to her… something very horrible… She begins to shiver and shake, and then she turns around, her fanged mouth and glowing red eyes set on Lewa.*
Blizzeta: You no take mirror!!
*That's when the mirror makes Yeta into some evil ice sorceress witch queen… thing, surrounded by ice crystals.*
Crystal King: Hey, that's my thing.
*Shut up, you're in the wrong story, you belong in that story I never finished writing. Anyways, after a long and drawn out fight where Lewa just smacks her around with the ball and chain, he obtains the mirror shard.*
Midna: Well, that's the end of that. I feel sort of bad we had to rough her up, though.
Lewa: We got the mirror shard, so let's get out of here before Yeto finds out I had to fight off his wife.
Yeto: Why is wife on the floor…?
Lewa: I can explain.
Yeto: I'm going to kill you!!!
Lewa: No, wait, let me explain! You see…
*About 10 minutes later…*
Yeto: Oh, Okay. I thought you got here, beat up wife, and stole mirror.
Lewa: I told you I need it to save the world. Besides, you don't want to live in a world with Lord Helmet reign-controlling everyone, right?
Yeto: No. I not even know who Lord Helmet is, but he sound creepy.
*And so that's when Yeto decides to go take care of his wife, leading to there being two less lonely yetis in the world. And that's when Lewa and Midna left via magic exit. After that, he had Midna take him to Gali's bar since he had no idea where else to go.*
Lewa: Hey, Gali? Why doesn't anyone in the group ever help me?
Gali: They talk about saving the world, but they never do anything. That is why when they saw you, the decided to weigh in everything on you.
Lewa: So they literally do nothing?
Lewa: They're just as bad as the sages!
Gali: Speaking of them, I think you need to go talk to the one who has no name.
Lewa: Where is he?
Gali: How would I know? I'm not the sages.
Lewa: Oh, they wouldn't know either. They don't know anything.
*Lewa goes over to the map at the table and figures out he is actually in the forest area. Lewa sets off to go there next, despite how much he really didn't want to meet with him.*
Rusl: Hello there, Lewa.
Lewa: Hey, there, creep-face. What are you doing here?
Rusl: Well, I figured you need to get going to that sacred grove.
Lewa: So why are you here…?
Rusl: I'm here to help.
Lewa: So the one person who wants to help me… is someone I refuse to get help from.
Rusl: Isn't life funny that way?
Lewa: Actually, no, it isn't.
Rusl: Well, here is your way through this trap-infested part of the forest.
*Rusl whistles and out comes a Gukko bird.*
Lewa: Why does this feel familiar?
Rusl: Never mind that. Meet My Dinner.
Lewa: Your dinner?
Rusl: No, My Dinner. My Dinner will fly you through here safely.
Lewa: Well, all right.
Rusl: Make sure you bring back My Dinner. After all, that is my dinner…
Lewa: See you, crazy weirdo.
*Lewa takes off on the Gukko bird, going through all the moving logs that could easily crush someone and a whole bunch of other traps until he arrives at the sacred grove once more.*
Remote: Hello there… want to play a game?
Lewa: Hello there, you adorable psychopath. No. I just want to get to the next mirror shard.
Remote: Before you do that, how about a game? I call it… Survive my barrage of evil puppits while you try to catch me.
Lewa: … That doesn't sound fun.
Remote: It is for me.
*He takes out a trumpet and plays a note, summoning a bunch of freakish puppets who try to kill Lewa. After Lewa destroys them, he chases after Remote, who just summons more puppets to kill him. Eventually, Lewa defeats the puppets and Remote, taking the trumpet and breaking it over his knee.*
Lewa: I pick my teeth with puppits.
Remote: Aside from you doing a bad reference to the main Bionicle story, I have to admit you did well. See you in another lifetime…
*With that, Remote disappears… and by that, I mean he shuts down and proceeds to self-destruct into scrap metal.*
*That's when Lewa goes back to the ruins of the Temple of Time, exactly as he left it before when he got the Master Sword.*
Midna: Well, we're here. So now what? There's nothing here but trees and grass and bugs.
Lewa: Oh, my!
Midna: This isn't the Wizard of Oz, Lewa, this is serious business.
Lewa: Well… something tells me…
Midna: What is it?
Lewa: What if I put the sword back in the pedestal? Than we can time travel back to when this temple was whole and full.
Midna: That's stupid. How could that work?
Lewa: It worked in Back to the Future. And Bill and Ted. And Doctor Who.
Midna: Those are different. You're talking about putting a sword in a stone to go back in time. That's stupid, it'll never work.
Lewa: Oh, yeah? Well, watch this.
*Lewa takes the Master Sword in hand, and puts it back in the pedestal, causing a great special effect like in The Dimwit of Time, but with less flashiness and antidermis. And a whole lot of nothing happening… or so they think. Outside, a statue that was guarding a useless door to nowhere disappears into nothingness.*
Midna: See? I told you.
Lewa: Wow, I thought it would work for sure.
*They both go outside and notice the missing statue.*
Midna: Wasn't there a statue in that spot earlier?
Lewa: Ha! In your face! I told you I knew what I was doing!
Midna, groans: Never mind, just go up there and figure out what to do now.
*Lewa climbs up the edge and approaches the door. He opens it to find there is another world on the end! It was the Temple of Time, but as it appeared many years in the past… Despite all logic, Lewa goes through the door and he goes into the past. Not just a week into the past, but a great many years into it.*