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[ShadowBionics]

All right then, hey everyone, ShadowBionics here again with the next installment of the "Dimwit of Time" series, which follows as a direct sequel to "The Moron's Mask." This is going to be a spoof of Twilight Princess, and as you can guess I'm spoofing the "Link/Child" timeline of the Zelda timeline. As for the "Zelda/Adult" timeline, that will be for some other day in the future. Anyways, let's get on with the story.

Like with TMM, this is all pre-written stuff. The first chapter was written in November of 2010, and I was actually going through a difficult time around that month. Hopefully it doesn't show. The story is still on-going, as I just finished chapter 25. The story itself won't go past 30 chapters, so no worries there. However, the chapters are definitely going to be lengthy, so there won't be any combing chapters this time around. And if there is, then it won't be as often. First chapter, right at you now.



*Long ago in the land of Metru Nui… there lived a boy and his horse. They were the best of friends and they loved each other. They also had a friend named Mr. Wall of Fire. The boy's name was Antroz, but Antroz was a naughty boy who did evil things revolving around some princess girl and this crazy hero guy in green.*

*It was up to the sages to execute him, but they failed miserably. They took it upon themselves to banish him to a prison for the greatest of criminals, thus sending him down into the Zone Where Normal Things Don't Happen Very Often…*

*They believed it would solve all their problems when in fact they only made everything that much worse than before…*

Bionicle: Twilight Delinquent



*It was peaceful out in Metru Nui, it was so peaceful that it was boring.*

Rusl: Hey, Lewa…

Lewa: What is it, freak?

Rusl: I have a name, you know.

Lewa: Really? What is it?

Rusl: You know… I've been so lost and confused in my life, I don't even know my true name.

Lewa: Then you are a sad, strange-wagon. You have my pity.

Rusl: I hope you don't feel weird...

Lewa: Too late for that, weird-freak.

Rusl: I just wanted to sit down by this waterfall.

Lewa: They call it as spring, weird-freak.

Rusl: I like looking at the spring… I could stare at it forever. Do you know what kind of water that is?

Lewa: No… I don't take swim-dips in the water.

Rusl: Look at how clear and crystal that water is. You know, they make Sprite with this water.

Lewa: What, are you serious?

Rusl: Yeah, this is where Sprite comes from. Just look at it. They take the water and put it into Sprite cans and bottles everywhere.

Lewa: You are insane, you know that?

Rusl: Maybe. I was going to tell you something important.

Lewa: What?

Rusl: You're adopted and no one ever loved you.

Lewa: …

Rusl: That's what I wanted to tell you.

Lewa: I kinda figured that since I don't have parents. At least... not that I can fully remember, aside from my dad before he got dragged to the funny farm.

Rusl: Okay, I'm joking. What I really wanted to tell you is there's this city of Metru Nui and we're just outside of it. Ever heard of it.

Lewa: Somewhat.

Rusl: Yeah, it's this big place and we're at like the edge of it.

Lewa: I feel like I've been there before.

Rusl: Well, you never have been, that's the other thing I wanted to tell you about. Okay, now go to work for the ranch.

Lewa: I don't wanna go to work.

Rusl: Too bad.

Lewa: I hate you, weird-freak.

Rusl: That's not my name!

Lewa: I have to call you something since you don't have a name.

Rusl: Don't call me that!

Lewa: What do I call you?

Rusl, sigh: Okay, fine… but only because I lost my true name.

*Lewa and Rusl get up and start walking away from the spring. Lewa had to get to the ranch, as he was nothing but a simple ranch hand. He was unaware though, that there were bigger things lined up in his destiny… With Epona, he rode to the ranch and got ready to get to work herding these scary goat-like things. And since I found this tedious (and glitchy the first time I played it on the Wii version), I'm going to skip to the end.*

*Lewa was able to get the job done herding the goats around, despite how stubborn a lot of them were. Yeah, his job this time around isn't as exciting as those of his ancestors in the days long past. He went to the other spring to take a load off of his mind, considering lately his mind was tormented with visions of some sun-burnt yelling guy with the Triforce of Power and a red/black crazy girl who danced to the song "Night Nurse." But they're not important, so let's ignore them.*

Lewa: Well, that was tedious.

Hahli: Oh, hi, Lewa…

Lewa: Oh… hello.

Hahli: How you doin'?

Lewa: I'm... sure-fine to say the least.

*There is an awkward moment of silence before the two split up and Lewa goes into his home for some sleep... and to get tormented by nightmares of the yelly guy and the freaky lady who lives in a mask. That's all ended when there's someone calling for him... a bunch of the scariest kids you'd ever see, especially the evil baby...*

Lewa: Okay, what do you brats want?

Talo: There's a slingshot at the store!

Lewa: What am I, 10? I don't play with kid-toys!

*5 minutes later...*

Lewa, panting: Must... search-find... money... to get... slingshot!

*Lewa drives himself crazy getting enough money and smashing some pumpkins (lol, Smashing Pumpkins). He literally goes the distance to find some money. On some stone pillars, he spies a monkey holding some weird bundle of something...*

Lewa: That monkey got money? Only one way to find out.

*Unlike his ancestors, he doesn't take that much of a direct approach. He takes some grass and plays me a song and summons a hawk.*

Lewa: Go get the money!

*He sends the hawk to the monkey, the hawk grabs the bundle and brings it back. Sadly it wasn't money, it was actually a baby cradle.*

Lewa: What the blaze is this? Maybe I can sell-pawn if for money.

Uli: You found my cradle!

Lewa: Uh... of course I did. Now give me a reward!

Uli: Take this fishing rod!

Lewa: Aw! Well, maybe I can sell-catch some fish then.

*That is exactly what Lewa does and he starts his own fishing business (without a fishing license, for shame), but that is short lived once a cat comes along and starts to steal his fish.*

Lewa: Get back here! I'm going to kill that—

*Lewa runs after the cat, which goes all the way into the store. Lewa breaks in.*

Lewa: You cat snatch-stole my fish!

Shopkeeper: Sorry, I can't give credit.

Lewa: How do I get money then?

Shopkeeper: I don't know. Take this bottle of milk, go nuts.

*Lewa got a half-empty bottle of milk. But more importantly, he got a bottle!*

Lewa: I don't drink milk...

Edited by ShadowBionics, Oct 26 2012 - 07:31 PM.

[ShadowBionics]

And here we go with chapter 2. Sorry if it all seems a bit boring and as if nothing much is happening, but that's kind of how the actual game itself is, and I'm just following that storyline as a guideline. By chapter 5, things will pick up, I can say that much.



*Lewa got bored with his bottle and did his best to make more money, and sure enough he found away in the pumpkin patch.*

Lewa: So money doesn't grow on trees... it grows in pumpkins! *Lewa picks up various pumpkins and throws them around to get money.*

Random guy: Hey! Pumpkins are for eating, not throwing! Gosh!

Lewa: Then why do they have money in them? They must be meant for throw-smashing! *So after "smashing pumpkins" (sorry, couldn't resist) for over 15 minutes, he had enough money for the slingshot. Lewa got over to the shopkeeper, but not before catching sight of some spiky skelly-thingy leaving the store.*

Krika: Hello.

Lewa: Get away from me. *He walks into the door.* Okay, I got enough money to buy the slingshot.

Shopkeeper: Just in time, too. That nice fellow who walked out the door just now tried to buy one, but he didn't have enough. Too bad. He seemed like a nice fellow. He said he wanted to use it to attract all the little ones to him.

Lewa: That's really cheer-happy, but just give me the stupid slingshot!!

*And thus Lewa got the slingshot. Set it to—oh, wait, what am I doing? Lewa left the shop to go back home, only to find Rusl leaving from it.*

Rusl: Oh, hey, Lewa.

Lewa: What's up, creep-face?

Rusl: Oh, I just broke into your house, left something in your basement, and I hope you like it.

Lewa: What a weird-freak.

Rusl: I heard that.

Lewa: You were supposed to. Who do you think you are, a genie?

Christina: No, but I am.

Lewa: Reverse stalker!! *Lewa flees from Christina and Rusl to go inside of his house, knocking over those creepy kids, and goes into the basement.*

Christina: Why does everyone call me that?

*Inside Lewa's house, Lewa was hiding under a blanket, shivering like the coward he was.*

Lewa: I heard that!

*You were supposed to. Sure Christina Aguilera is a reverse stalker, but no need to be afraid of her. I also find it weird that we haven't had an appearance by--*

Lewa: Okay, I get it! Move on now!

*Fine. Lewa decides to go look in his basement to see what Rusl had left him.*

Lewa: I hope it's not some fishing rod.

Rahaga Bomonga: It's too dangerous to go alone! Take this!

Lewa: Great, a cheap wooden sword. *Lewa takes the sword and works his way back up.* That was fun. Hope those creepy children don't get over-joyed at this.*

Kids: OOOOOHHHH!!

Lewa: I spoke too soon.

Talo: You got the slingshot!

Beth: You kids are so immature, interested in things like that.

*Beth was wrong, because you see not all of them were interested. One of the young ones, Malo, was not so interested. It could be that his shoes were too tight. It could be his head wasn't screwed on too tight. But I think the most likely reason of all may have been that he was actually an evil baby who idolized Karzahni.*

Malo: Such things don't interest me.

Talo: Wow, that wooden sword is so cool!

Lewa: Sure is, now I can kill stuff with it... like... *Lewa looks around and he spots a--* MONKEY!!!

*Yeah, that.*

Beth: Let's get it!

*The kids all run off after the monkey, leaving Lewa behind.*

Lewa: Hey, that's my monkey! I claim-called it first!

*Lewa gets onto Epona (because apparently this guy can't fly...) and rides into the Faron woods where he meets some beatnik.*

Coro: Duuude, it's an Ordonian. Sweet.

Lewa: Uh... hi?

Coro: Dude, I'm giving away free lanterns with the purchase of oil.

Lewa: Okay. May I see one of these lanterns?

Coro: Sure, here you go.

*And thus Lewa got the lantern.*

Lewa: Sucker.

Coro: What?

Lewa: I mean, it's a nice lantern.

Coro: And you can have it with the purchase of oil.

Lewa: Later!

Coro: Harsh, man, really harsh.

Lewa, thinking: It already has oil, so what's the point of buying more?

*Lewa rode through the woods in an epic fashion until he found Talo, who was trapped in a cage with the monkey. The other kids lost him and weren't of much help, so whatever. Talo was crying loudly.*

Lewa: Shut up, you little... *Lewa used the sword to chop up the cage, freeing Talo and the monkey.* That was easy.

*Lewa returned the kids back home to get them out of his hair, but one problem led to the next.*

Rusl: Hello, Lewa.

Lewa: What's up, creep-face.

Rusl: That's not my name.

Lewa: Tell me your name then.

Rusl: No matter, then. Pretty funny about young Talo there, huh?

Lewa: Weird-freak.

*The next Day, Lewa was parading around town on Epona. Hahli caught sight of them.*

Hahli: Father, it's Epona! Oh, and Lewa...

Mayor: What is it with her?

Hahli: So, uh... where you going, Lewa?

Lewa: Going to deliver-run the package for creep-face.

Hahli: He has a name, you know.

Lewa: Yeah, but no one knows what it is. Do you know?

Mayor: I-uh... no. *Lewa gets off and walks over to the mayor.*

Lewa: Then I rest my case.

Hahli: You've been pushing Epona too hard again!

Lewa: I had to herd twice as many goats this morning! And you know the saying: They multiply likes goats.

Mayor: Is that how it goes?

Hahli: That's not a saying! Come on, Epona, let's go where we're appreciated!

Mayor: What's wrong with her...?

Lewa: I couldn't even start.

[ShadowBionics]

Here is chapter 3 of the story. Probably the shortest chapter of the whole story. Also written in January 2011.


*Lewa was running around, trying to find Hahli and Epona. He ran back home to find those brats and Colin waiting for him.*

Lewa: Hey, Colin, did you see where Hahli went? I'm afraid she's going to do something to Epona.

Colin: She said she was going to run away with her. What does that mean?

Lewa: I have to quick-stop her!

Colin: But why?

Lewa: It means she's going to steal-take my horse away! I can't let her do that. Plus she owes me money, so that's only adding onto the debt!

Colin: Okay. Maybe I'll go see if I can talk to Hahli now. *He runs into the woods, possibly after Hahli. I can't be certain at this point.*

Lewa: Sure, go do that.

Talo: Hey, Lewa, can I borrow your wooden sword to beat the insults off me?

Lewa: Sure, but it'll take more than a wooden sword to back-beat the monkey insults and the humiliation it came with.

Talo: Yay, insults be gone! *Talo runs off and the Evil Baby goes off to follow him.*

Lewa: Poor, poor, weird-freaks.

Malo the Evil Baby: I will rule you all.

Lewa: Poor, poor, weird-freaks.

*Lewa runs off after Colin into the woods, ending up in the Ordon Spring. The gates we locked.*

Colin: Lewa, I got in but Hahli locked the gates after me.

Hahli: Go away and leave me and Epona in peace!

Colin: You'll have to use the nincompoop entrance.

Lewa: Fine, but I'm not cheer-happy about it!

*Lewa walks over to a hole with a sign over it reading "Nincompoop Entrance" in neon lights. Lewa gets down on his hands and knees and he crawls his way in, making his way into the spring.*

Lewa: Oh, nincompoop entrance... I hate you.

Hahli: Oh, Lewa, you're right... the nincompoop entrance is a bad place. I'm sorry, I won't ever do anything like this ever again.

Lewa: That's good to know. As long as nothing bad happens, we'll be fine.

*First rule of Makuta Murphon's law... If you say you're fine until a bad thing happens, a bad thing happens. Case in point... Two Bulblins atop two giant boar-like bulbos break the gates and they start rushing after Lewa nad his friends. Epona gets scared off and a Bulblin archer takes down Hahli.*

Lewa: Why didn't I listen to the narrator?? *Lewa starts to run after Hahli, but the second Bulblin takes a club and knocks the lights out of Lewa's head.* Ow, my head! *Lewa falls down, unconscious.*

Bulblin 1: See, I told you we didn't have to go to the store to find hostages. *He takes Hahli by the hand and throws her onto the bulbo.*

Bulblin 2: He's right, boss!

*We go over to a much larger Bulblin wearing a helmet, strong and dominant. He must have been their commander. He spoke in a deep, commanding voice.*

King Bulblin: Fine. You're right one time. So sue me. Now let's move out.

*Several hours later, Lewa starts to wake up. He gets up and he starts to look around, searching for something. He looks where the gate used to be.*

Lewa: They broke the gate! Those hooligans! I must go and find them!

*He runs past the broken gate and past the bridge. Little does he notice how everything starts to change to a sickly black and orange color. He keeps running and running and then he comes face-to-face with a black and orange door-way.*

Lewa: How hard did they smash-hit me? I'm seeing things!

*Lewa had no time to think as a black hand shot out from the door, grabbing him and dragging him to the other side. Next stop? The Zone where normal things don't happen very often.*

*Lewa was struggling against the shadow beast, putting both hands out to break the grip it had on him. Then suddenly, a glow came from his hand... it was the Triforce of Courage!*

Shadow Beast 1: Now that's one fancy glow-in-the-dark tattoo! *The power of the triforce shone and forced the shadow beast to release Lewa.*

*Lewa was tossed a few feet away, his triforce still glowing. Lewa tried to get up, but could not as he felt something overtaking him. The power of the twilight around him in the zone where normal things don't happen very often started to have an effect on him. Lewa felt a change coming over him and then he let out a loud scream as his body changed completely into the form of a wolf. Lewa's strength was gone, so all he could do was drift into unconsciousness (again) and let the shadow beast take him away by the tail.*

Shadow Beast 1: Let's take you someplace where I won't have to see your face again.

*As that happened, no one seemed to notice a mischievous creature who was watching everything from above. She looked in astonishment at Lewa and then she drifted into the shadows to follow him.*

Edited by ShadowBionics, Nov 03 2012 - 12:24 AM.

[ShadowBionics]

And here we go with Chapter 4, originally from February of 2011. So as you might tell, 2010-2011 wasn't a very good time for me to write things. And the chapters get more spread out as we go along. I think after chapter 4 is when things got visibly worse on how much I updated it. Speaking of which, the story itself is now on chapter 26, but you won't be seeing that for a while.

Interesting trivia you probably don't care about, in this chapter we get introduced to one of my favorite characters in this story. You'll see who I mean in a few moments. For now, here we go.


*Sometime after Lewa got turned into a wolf and taken by the Shadow Beasts, he was chained and imprisoned like the dog he was... literally speaking. He awoke, not knowing what was going on.*

Lewa: What the--? *he looks at his chains and at his surroundings.* Great, I'm in jail again. How did this happen?

*Lewa looks around, but there is nothing but stone and stone... and more stone as far as the eye can see.*

Lewa: Well, maybe I can use this time to self-reflect on myself and my accomplishments.

*about 10 minutes later...*

Lewa: Wow, my life's a joke. What now? How long have I been in here? I know most people would mind-snap living in these conditions, but not me.

*The following sequence is a montage of the next 5 minutes Lewa spends in jail.*

Lewa, chewing on chain: This chain doesn't taste like a squeaky toy...

Lewa: What's that, Mr. Wall? I'm your best friend? You're my best friend, too!

Lewa: I need food!!

Tidus: Hey, that's my line!

Lewa: I'm hearing voices!

*And that's when... she appeared.*

Lewa: Great, a crazy inmate...

*Midna looked at Lewa, gave him a sinister grin, and leapt up, landing right in front of him.*

Midna: Hey, what's up?

Lewa: I'm trapped in here my whole life! Help me!

Midna: It's only been 15 minutes, you big baby.

Lewa: If you're not my crazy inmate, what are you doing here?

Midna: I was sent here by some buttercup who wanted me to bring you to her castle.

Lewa: Okay...

Midna: Now hold still. *She focuses her energy into a ball and then uses it to break the chain on Lewa's leg.*

Lewa: Wow, thanks! So where's the exit? Don't tell me to take the nincompoop entrance!

Midna: No, no need for that. I'll tell you on one condition.

Lewa: What?

Midna: You have to be my whipping boy.

*Lewa snarls and makes a bite at her.*

Lewa: No way!

Midna: Fine, then have fun rotting away in your jail cell.

Lewa: Grr. Okay...

Midna: Shut up! Slave boys don't whine!

Lewa, whining: I'm not whining!

Midna: Now then... *she goes through the bars of the cell and turns around.* Dig under those crates. Come on, time's wasting away... *she gives a yawn and puts her arms behind her head.*

*Lewa uses his head (literally) and breaks the crates, finding a small hole. He digs through it and ends up on the other side. He searches for Midna, only to see she is gone. Then he is met with her laughter from off the walls.*

Midna: Bravo, Mr. Hero... You didn't have to break them with your head, you know?

Lewa: I don't do well under pressure!

*Midna then jumps right on top of him and Lewa gives a struggle.*

Midna: You're not as stupid as I thought you were.

Lewa: Thank you. What do I call you?

Midna: Just call me Midna.

Lewa: Fine, Midna it is.

Midna: Now let's get to that castle.

*The two of them begin working their way through the sewers, which was very confusing if you ask me.*

Midna: Okay, now grab that ring...

*Lewa jumps off and grabs the ring on the chain with his teeth, opening a new pathway.*

Midna: Use your senses on that guy over there.

*Lewa does as she says and he finds it was a castle guard.*

Guard 7: Eeeeeh... spiders!

Lewa: Is that guy scared of spiders?

Midna: It's amazing what you learn with your senses, isn't it?

Lewa: No, it's just sad!

*Well, later on, the duo make it to the roof and find their way to an open window. Lewa jump in and onto a stairway. He races past some double doors and into a room. That's when he finds her. She turns around, startled.*

Lewa: Wow... cute girl.

Midna, rolling her eyes: Here we go... Someone's got a crush.

Lewa: No, I don't!

Midna: Whatever. *giggles.*

Nokama: Midna?! Is this the one?

Midna: As far as you know.

Lewa: Aren't you a princess?

Nokama: Yes, I am.

Lewa: Why are you wearing that robe? To disguise yourself?

Nokama: No, to hide my shame...

Lewa: What shame?

Nokama: Grr... Look, this is a time of great evil. A power known as the twilight has consumed out land. The prophecy spoke of a great hero that would rise up and face this evil, and I think you are that hero.

Lewa: That wasn't in the job-description!

Nokama: It all leads back to a evil ruler named Zant.

Midna: Who's in a different world right now.

Nokama: It all started with a human chess match...

*flashback...*

Guard 5: Man, I sure feel vulnerable to an impending attack!

Guard 3: Yeah, if someone came in right now, we'd lose for sure.

Guard 2: Oy! There be thick smog a-comin'!

Nokama: No, my clean air!

*Indeed there was as a cloud of twilight erupted through the castle chamber, and with it several shadow beasts, who easily take out all the guards. Metru Nui has the worst security ever.*

Nokama: Stupid poorly trained guards.

Shadow Beast 3: Make way for Lord Helmet!


*Zant enters with 2 shadow beasts at his side, breathing heavily. He stops for a moment. When he spoke, he had a very deep, somewhat distorted voice.*

Zant: I should turn off that stupid respirator. *He does so and resumes walking menacingly towards Nokama.*

Zant: Greetings, Princess Nokama. I am Zant, the dark lord of the Zone where normal things don't happen very often. I've come to take over your kingdom and make it my own!

Nokama: Why are you doing this?!

Zant: It was a divine mission given to me by a great deity! I am an agent, his right hand man! *breathing heavily, turns respirator back on.*

Guard 1: Milady, you have to do something! You've got the triforce of Wisdom!

Nokama: Don't worry, I've got this.

*17 seconds later...*

Nokama: Please?

Zant: No.

Nokama: Pretty please?

Zant: No.

Nokama: I'll be your friend.

Zant: No. And you'll just leave me, like all my other friends! I know it!

Nokama: I'll be your girlfriend.

Zant: That's tempting... but no!

Nokama: *pouts* Oh, you're mean. I give up.

*end flashback.*

Nokama: And that's how Zant took over the kingdom and we now live in the Zone were normal things don't happen very often.

Edited by ShadowBionics, Nov 03 2012 - 11:41 PM.

[ShadowBionics]

Okay, and here is chapter 5, originally written in June 2011. Yeah. You heard right. Chapter 4 was February 2011, Chapter 5 was June 2011. Like I said, the whole time of 2010-2011 was kind of difficult for me, especially since this was around when I started college. And it got worse to updating as time went on. You'll see when I discuss chapters 6 and 7.

Anyways, after Nokama tells her sad story, Lewa and Midna (mainly Midna) decide on their next move. The action is still kind of slow, but it's starting to pick up steadily.



*Lewa finished listening to Nokama's pathetic tale of woe and defeat. Moments after, he came up with only one conclusion…*

Lewa: You're all a bunch of sissies.

Nokama: Excuse me?

Lewa: Yeah, you fast-threw the towel in too easy. And it doesn't help your guards are so poorly trained either.

Nokama: Well, excuse me if I can't work well under pressure and my guards don't have the experience to defeat Zant.

Midna: Oh sure, don't take responsibility for your actions… way to go, "Twilight Princess."

Nokama: Let's see you do better then!

Midna: I probably could do better than you. Even he could do better than you, I bet. You messed up BAD.

Nokama: Yes, but despite this minor mistake…

Midna: What would be a MAJOR mistake then?

Nokama, ignoring her: … There is hope. I haven't been turned into a spirit like everyone else engulfed in the twilight because I have the triforce of wisdom!

Lewa: That helps me how?

Nokama: Well, you haven't been turned into a spirit either.

Lewa: No, but I'm a wolf for Mata Nui's sake.

Nokama: I think it's because you are chosen by destiny as well.

Lewa: Destiny wants me to be a wolf? Destiny is cruel-mean!

Nokama: I have the triforce of wisdom, and you have the triforce of courage!

Lewa: Well… this is awkward. So now what?

Nokama: Stop Zant by going through a bunch of temples!

Lewa: How does that stop him?

Nokama: It won't, but you have to do it anyway.

Midna: And because I say you have to, whipping boy.

Lewa: Aw…!

Nokama: None the less, I think it's time you go.

Lewa: Why?

Nokama: No, because around this time a shadow beast comes in to check on me and so far I think you're weird.

Lewa: Me? What about that guy?

Happy Mask Salesman, playing organ: Shake shake shake… shake shake shake…

Nokama: Ok, whatever, just get out before someone sees you. Just head up to the roof again.

Lewa: Sure-fine.

Midna: Whatever, buttercup.

*The pair make way for the roof and make their hasty escape from the castle.*

Midna: You're probably wondering where we are, aren't you?

Lewa: The Crest, the statues, the sign that says "Welcome to Metru Nui Coliseum…" This is the Coliseum! Don't you think I know that?

*Midna give Lewa a slap.*

Lewa: *cries out*

Midna: Don't get on my bad side. Now then, we ought to get going. Don't you want to save these two?

*Just then she morphs into Colin and then Hahli, both screaming in horror, mocking the moment when they were captured.*

Lewa: Yeah, I do! Both of them owe me money!

Midna: Uh… what kind of hero are you?

Lewa: One of a kind.

Midna: I take it they don't mean anything to you then?

Lewa: Well…

*pauses*

Lewa: Not a whole lot, really.

Midna: Ok. Then I guess in that case you're gonna be my whipping boy for a WHILE longer. Which brings me to my first order of business…

*with the snap of her fingers, she and Lewa turn into clinkers and are sucked up into a black portal of twilight. Their next destination? Wait, no, I'm not supposed to use that joke yet. Whatever, they're leaving the Coliseum now and going someplace else.*

*Somewhere in Ordon Spring… The portal drops off Lewa in the middle of the spring.*

Lewa: That was some wild-crazy ride there! Here, where's Midna?

*Just then, Midnda pops out from his shadow*

Midna: I'm still here, you know. I just can't be out in your light world.

Lewa: Why not?

Midna: Um… I'll die?

Lewa: Well, works for me. You know, since I'm a dog, I can scratch myself wherever I want to!

Midna: If there's any scratching of any kind, then there'll be a face full of fist for you.

Lewa, grumbling: Don't let me have any fun.

*Midna slaps him.*

Lewa: *cries out.*

Midna: Keep moving and do as I say… I want a sword and a shield.

Lewa: What for? Can you even use them?

Midna: What did I say about getting on my bad side?!

Lewa: Fine…

*Lewa goes through Ordon Spring and makes it to his house, which is actually being blocked off by a bunch of Bulblins.*

Lewa: What are you doing by my house?! Get away! *Lewa attacks the Bulblins and makes quick work of them.*

Bulblin 7: Were were only lost and wanted directions!

Lewa: Stop with your fake-lies! Get away from my house!

Squirrel: Aw, yeah! Check this guy out!

Lewa: Wait… how can I understand what the squirrel chitter-talks to me?

Squirrel: You're a wolf and I'm a squirrel!

Lewa: Uh…

Squirrel: Animals can talk to other animals!

Lewa: Didn't know it worked that way, but sure-fine, I'll take it.

*So Lewa leaves his home and goes into the town.*

Midna: All right, let's get us a sword and a shield.

*Lewa tries to get the doorknobs to various houses, but to no avail.*

Lewa: How do I do that? I can't even break-enter into the houses!

Midna: I don't know, just go sneak around! Maybe you'll find some other way in.

Lewa: Are you sure?

Midna: Would I lie to you?

*pause*

Lewa: Somehow, I think you would.

*Midna slaps Lewa once more, but with a little more power to it.*

Lewa: *cries out.*

*As Lewa went snoopingas usual, he got word from the other villagers that the other children were missing. They were all very concerned.*

Hanch: I'm concerned.

Rusl: I'm concerned.

Uli: I'm pregnant!

Rusl: I'm shocked!

Lewa: And I'm out of here…

Hanch: We checked all the usual places… not at the ranch, not at the water wheel… what about Mayor Bo's house?

Mayor Bo: They're not at my house. Why are you so obsessed with wanting to see my house?

Hanch: Because no one has even seen the inside!

Mayor Bo: Well you're not going. Besides, there are other things to worry about… like what is wrong with my daughter?!

Rusl: Isn't your daughter missing, too?

Mayor Bo: Wait… she is?! Agh!!! Why didn't you tell me before, creep-face?!

Rusl: That isn't my name.

Mayor Bo: Well no one knows your real name and Lewa calls you that, so I might as well too because you're such a creep!

Rusl: I'm not a creep. I'm just lazy. Like how I wanted Lewa to deliver that sword and shield to Princess Nokama.

Lewa: Wait, that's what he wanted me to deliver?

Rusl: I was too lazy to give them to him, so they're all still at my house…

Uli: You lazy man! But I will always love you.

Lewa: Sheesh, talk about a superficial soap opera.

Midna: Quick, while everyone's distracted, we'll sneak in.

Lewa: Yeah, I don't think I can take another moment of this.

[ShadowBionics]

here is chapter 6, originally written in December 2011. Yup. Chapter 5, June 2011. Chapter 6, December 2011. So safe to say I wasn't having a good year for writing. It wasn't until this year when I wrote chapter 8 that I managed to turn it all around.


*As the people of the village outside argued about the disappearance of the village children that the video game designers were to lazy to explain about how the disappeared, Lewa and Midna snuck into Rusl's house and found the sword on a bed and the shield hanging on the wall.*

Lewa: What weird-freak hangs a shield on a wall?

Midna: Who cares? Just go ahead and take it before they realize what we're up to!

*Lewa did as he was ordered to by Midna, and he makes his way for the roof once more. Outside, the village people were performing YMCA and… wait… wrong village people. The village people of this village were still arguing, some demanding to see Mayor Bo's home for whatever stupid reason. Lewa, by Midna's orders, left and went back into the woods, which had been consumed by the twilight as well.*

Lewa, mumbling: Midna, bossing me around…

Ordona: You there, talking wolf.

Lewa: Who said that? Are you a voice in my head?!

Ordona: No, I am a light spirit who watches over this land.

*Lewa turns around and sure enough, there he is.*

Lewa: Oh, I see you now. What are you?

Ordona: I told you, I'm a light spirit. My name is Ram-goat.

Lewa: What a weird name.

Lord of shadows: That's because his name is Ordona.

Ordona: I am Ram-goat.

Lord of shadows: Okay, fine, you know what? Call yourself whatever you want to. You can call yourself Mr. Bucky McBuckington for all I care.

Lewa: Okay… Ordona Ram-goat, what are you asking of me?

Ordona: There's three other light spirits around here who don't consider me special enough to be a part of their little triad. They've all met with terrible fates.

Lewa: Where have I heard that before?

Happy Mask Salesman: You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?

Lewa: AAAAAAAH!! Get away from me!

Ordona: Hey, focus here. You need to go into the Faron woods and help the first light spirit.

Lewa: Okay, I guess that shouldn't be too difficult.

Ordona: Good, now go and make it happen.

Lewa: Okay then, I will.

Midna: Up, wait up, Lewa, before you go…

*Lewa doesn't let her finish as he runs to the Faron woods, only to see it is sealed off in Twilight.*

Lewa: Wait, you never said I'd have to go back in there!

Midna: You never asked me.

Lewa: That's not fair!

Midna: Life isn't fair. I should know… how do you think I was cursed to look like this?

Lewa: You weren't always vertically challenged?

Midna: No, I was actually much taller than this.

Lewa: Oh… sorry to hear that.

Midna: So are you coming or not?

Lewa: Fine…

*So Midna steps out of his shadow and past the door of twilight. And then without fair warning, she creates a giant hand that grabs Lewa and painfully drags him into the twilight.*

Lewa: Well, that was just rude! What's wrong with you?!

*Midna does not pay him any attention, as she puts the shield on over her face and plays around with the sword.*

Lewa: Are you hear-listening to me?!

*Midna takes off the shield and throws the sword down.*

Midna: This stuff is cheap. But I guess it'll have to do. *Before Lewa could actually get near it, she stows it away on her person somehow.*

Lewa: Hey, I got it for you! Why can't I near-touch it?!

Midna: You're just a dog. What would you want with this stuff?

Lewa: I demand respect!

Midna: Whipping boys don't get respect.

Lewa: Grr!

Midna: See, just like a dog.

Lewa: Why are you so rude-sassy?

Midna: It's what I do.

*Just then, Lewa hears a voice from far off…*

Faron: Oh, sacred beast…

Lewa: Oh, no, not more voices in my head! I can't handle a fifth one!

Midna: No, dimwit, that's not a voice in your head. Besides, I hear it, too.

Lewa: Oh, really? Then who is it?

Faron: I am a light spirit as chosen by the goddesses. I was under attack by the twilight and I need your help to restore my light.

Lewa: Well… okay. I see no harm. It's not like it's going to be some insipid-long fetch-quest I'll have to do more than once.

Faron: Yeah… sure. Anyway, take this light vessel and fill it up with light tears.

Lewa: How can light cry?

Faron: Don't question me! Just do as I say!

Lewa: Fine. But where do I find these "tears?"

Faron: A bunch of evil insects have them. Squash the bugs and you get the light tears.

Lewa, whining: But I don't like bugs!

Faron: Gee, the last hero didn't let bugs bother him.

Lewa: What last hero?

Faron: Stop eavesdropping on my conversation! Just go get the tears!

Lewa: *groans*

Midna: Is whining like a little kid all you can do?

Lewa, whining: I'm not whining!

*So skipping ahead, Lewa goes all about the Faron woods and he manages to kill off the evil twilight insects and steal back the tears of light, filling the vessel and presenting it back to Faron, thus restoring light to the force and… oops, what am I talking about? Well, everything's happy now, that's what I'm saying.*

*Faron comes out from the spring, presenting himself to Lewa.*

Faron: I am Lemur-squirrel thing.

Lewa: Wouldn't your name be Faron? Like the woods?

Lord of shadows: Oh, great, not another one. Sorry, Lewa, but I think you're gonna have to deal with these bone heads.

Lewa: If you say so, author guy.

Faron: I am Lemur-squirrel thing, a light spirit.

Lewa: Yeah, I figured that.

Faron: And you are a hero chosen by destiny to save our world.

Lewa: Really?

Faron: Unfortunately, yes. The goddesses don't pick good heroes, but you're all we've got.

Lewa: Wait, what does that mean?

Faron: Nothing. But if you want proof, think about this: Everyone in the twilight got turned into spirits whereas you just got turned into a wolf. That is surely a sign. Just look at yourself.

Lewa: I don't see what—Mata Nui, I'm a Toa-Hero again!

Faron: Yes, you are, just like the hero before you. But from what I remember, he wasn't as lazy and whiny as you are.

Lewa: Stop saying that!

Faron: No. Now go save the world.

Lewa: Wait, if you're some mighty-powerful light spirit, why don't you do it?

[awkward silence]

Faron: No, I'm lazy. Go save the world. I will not help you.

*And with that, Faron disappears into the spring, leaving a confused Lewa to soak in all this information.*

Lewa: Well, this sucks. Hey, Midna? Midna? Where are you?

Midna: I'm over here.

Lewa: Why do I keep hearing these voices?!

Midna: No, you fool, I'm in your shadow?

Lewa: Why are you in my shadow?

Midna: I can't survive in your world since I'm from the twilight, so if it's cool with you, I'm just going to hang around in your shadow so nothing happens to me, all right?

Lewa: If you say so. This is all just a little bit too much for me to soak-handle.

[Meta Nuva]

This is actually pretty funny. I'm playing Twilight Princess right now, and this comedy is, without a doubt, based on this. I always did wonder: what is up with Tears of Light?

I do have one minor complaint though: a lot of the characters are the actual characters from Zelda. I could have seen Gali as Midna, Tahu as Rusl, Jaller as Colin...such opportunities that haven't been explored. It makes this comedy more Zelda than BIONICLE.

But Malo looking like a baby...hilarious. Twilight Princess is my first Zelda game, and I'm really hoping that other characters in later games don't look like that .

~MN~

[ShadowBionics]

To answer some of your concerns... 1 thing that's been constant is how the partner characters remain as they are, so likewise Navi and Tatl are still their fairy selves. As for Rusl, you can kind of see he's like a sort of joke character. And since I can't really say this without spoiling anything, but Tahu is going to appear in the story in a somewhat prominent role. Since Tahu is one of my favorite characters to write about, I couldn't really see myself putting him as Rusl and having him as a bumbling guy who apparently lost his name.

For Jaller, I probably could have done that and I did think of having him be part of the cast. And yet, by having Hahli fill the role of Ilia... it sort of struck me as being awkward given the whole JallerXHahli pairing a lot of us are fond of. He is however going to have an important role in the TBR Skyward Sword parody I have planned. So it would kind of throw off the rhythm of the flow, so I thought it'd be best to let Jaller sit it out this time, but have a prominent role the next time around. Granted, it probably would have worked, but I guess the problem would be Hahli's role in the story that throws it off.

As for the comedy being more Zelda than Bionicle, yes, you're right. However, as I said before, the first 5 chapters are going to be slow. Plus, I wasn't fully concentrating on this story at the time and the story turns around in chapter 8, so the next one after this one.

With Malo being the youngest of the children (and someone said he looked like an evil baby) I couldn't resist, so I ran with that. But don't worry, I think he's the last of the "evil baby" characters in the Zelda series... so far. I can't speak for future games...

So this one was also written in December 2011, but it would be a while before I'd be able to continue the story, so this will be the last of the "awkward" chapters. And as you read, this one will be one of the most awkward of them all.



*Lewa, learning of his destiny, realizes he has a new beginning, a reason for living, with a deeper meaning and… oh, wait, sorry. Anyway, Lewa copes with his new information very well.*

Lewa: I can't be a hero! I can't do it!

Midna: You'll do it and you'll like it. Now just go to the Forest Temple and get the dark power I want so we can defeat Zant.

Lewa: Zant?

Midna: You know, Lord Helmet?

Lewa: His name is Zant?

Midna: Yeah. Haven't we been through that?

Lewa: If we have, I can't recall-think.

Midna: Whatever, just do as I say or else I'll slap you again.

Lewa: You can't slap me.

*Midna slaps Lewa and Lewa cries.*

*Sometime later, Lewa goes deeper into the Faron woods where he meets the same afro-headed guy from earlier on who he stole the lantern from.*

Coro: Whoa, it's the Ordonian.

Lewa: Yeah, how's it going? You know a way to trek-past the gate? It's locked.

Coro: Yeah, I locked it cause of the monsters, man.

Lewa: Can you open it?

Coro: Pay me for the lantern oil first.

Lewa: All right, here you go.

Coro: And here you go.

*Lewa uses the key (the easiest key he'll ever get in this adventure) to open the gate and he goes forward into the Faron woods, which is now covered in some weird purple smog. Lewa wasn't very intelligent, but lucky he was smart enough to see this mist wasn't natural nor was it safe to go through. He tried to use his power over air to go through, but unfortunately because of the mist's unnatural origins, the keeps coming back at him. Lewa takes out his lantern to see if anything else would work on it. Sure enough, the lantern manages to keep the mist away, but then the very same monkey Lewa went after earlier on swipes it away from him.*

Lewa: You! We meet again! Come back here with my lantern!

*Once more, Lewa gives chase after the monkey, who has the lantern on a stick as she runs ahead of him, leading him in a sort of path that Lewa was too dumb to see before. After a few minutes, the monkey gives up the lantern and Lewa successfully makes it through the mist. While the monkey was using the lantern, she used up all the oil.*

Lewa: I guess it was a good thing I pay-bought that bottle of lantern oil then…

*Lewa turns back around from looking out at the mist and goes to the entrance of the Forest Temple, there he is met with a haunting sight of a ghostly white wolf, panting and staring ferociously at him. Lewa takes out his sword and shield (which he can now finally use) to attack, but the wolf is too fast for him and leaps at him.*

Lewa: Whoa, where am I?

Hero's Shade: That matter not now, young one.

Lewa: Okay… but who are you?

Hero's Shade: My identity is of no importance to you. I've waited for you.

Lewa: Why?

Hero's Shade: I had a lot of regrets in my life and I want you to make up for all of my mistakes.

Lewa: Wow… okay then.

Hero's Shade: Yeah, never truly killing Antroz... leaving behind Nokama and making her sad... never finding where Navi really went to...

Lewa: I didn't ask for your life story, pal.

Hero's Shade: Oh, right, sorry. I got lost reminiscing of the past-days of my life.

Lewa: You're supposed to be teaching me something?

Hero's Shade: Oh, right. I'm going to teach you this killer-awesome move. I call it the Ending blow. Let it be hewn into your mind.

Lewa: What do I do?

Hero's Shade: When your opponent is down, you just stab them in the chest.

Lewa: You mean like this?

*Lewa catches the old adventurer off guard, knocking him over and then leaping into the air to stab him in the chest.*

Hero's Shade, gasping: Yes, like that.

Lewa: All right.

Hero's Shade: The teachings of old have been passed down. The Ending blow has been taught. Now good luck making up for all my wrong-mistakes.

Lewa: Can I at least know your name?

*Before the old hero can say another word, Lewa is sent back to his own world of the living, Lewa goes into the Forest Temple.*

Lewa: Is someone waiting for the next gust-wind to clean this place up? It's so dusty! Do monkeys live in here?

Midna: Uh…

Lewa: Oh, that's right. Never mind.

Midna: Now according to the dungeon map I stole from a chest while you were busy saying "never mind," the first place we should go to is--

Lewa: I don't need a map, I have my natural traveler's instinct!

*about 5 minutes later…*

*Lewa is running around, panicking and gasping for breath.*

Lewa: I'm lost! I don't know where I am! Somebody help me!

Midna: Now do you want my help?

Lewa: Yes!

Midna: All right, well first go into that room over there…

Lewa: I'll do it.

*Lewa does as she says, and sure enough, he finds the very same monkey from earlier on.*

Midna: Wow, seems like you're a lure for monkeys aren't you?

Lewa: Be quiet.

*With Midna directing him, Lewa finds a few more monkeys along the way.*

Midna: All right, I assume collecting monkeys is a thing with this dungeon.

Lewa: I hope this isn't some mean-trick played by the author guy.

Lord of shadows: Nope.

Lewa: As long as I can get out of here and get whatever it is you want…

*Lewa goes out to a rickety bridge that's being blown in the wind.*

Lewa: This isn't the way out.

Midna: Let's ask that hairy guy over there.

Ook: I'm not a hairy guy, I'm a baboon! Take this!

*Ook throws a wicked-looking boomerang at the ropes holding the bridge, bringing it down. As the weapon returns to him, he shakes his red behind at them mockingly.*

Midna: I… did not need to see that.

Lewa: Me neither. Let's get him!

*No sooner than he says that do the monkeys go across and form like a little chain for Lewa to jump with. Lewa decides he has nothing to lose and he uses them to get across. He enters the chamber and proceeds to fight Ook the baboon (who lacks manners).*

Lewa: Well, you were immature, but I bet the battle will be clever and most high brow.

*In a nutshell: It wasn't.*

Lewa: Well, that was even more immature.

*after beating the baboon, the evil primate turns out to not have been evil at all. He runs away after seeing Lewa with his sword. Lewa then looks over to the weapon the baboon had, the Gale boomerang.*

Gale Boomerang: Hey, what's up?

Lewa: … Seriously? A talking boomerang? What's next, a talking hat? Or how about a girl who lives in a sword?

Gale Boomerang: After all this weird stuff you've seen, this shouldn't be much of a surprise to you, Mr. Hero.

Lewa: Fine.

Gale Boomerang: I am the spirit of the wind and if you use the boomerang I can create gusts of wind to help you activate switches, stun enemies, or steal wallets.

Lewa: That's good-fine and all… But do me a favor? Don't loud-speak ever again.

Gale Boomerang: Fine. Hey, what's up?

Lewa: I already told you!

Gale Boomerang: Fine. Hey, what's up?

Lewa: …

*[Scene missing]*

Midna: Well, I'm glad you made that boomerang shut up. I'm actually somewhat impressed with how you did it, too.

Lewa: Yeah, I didn't know I had the ability to do that. It's so strange-weird, words can't even describe it.

Midna: Anyway, let's keep going.

*As Lewa goes around smash pots, he discovers one that moves.*

Lewa: It's haunted!

Oocoo: Oh! Hello there! Are you an adventurer, too?

Lewa: What's it to you? And what are you?

Oocoo: My name is Ooccoo, and I am an adventurer like you are. I got stuck in the pottery here whilst exploring. Let's stick together.

Lewa: Uh, yeah, you see--

*Before Lewa can object, Ooccoo becomes unwanted baggage for Lewa, who has a look of annoyance on his face.*

*So after rescuing all of the remaining monkeys, following the same dungeon pattern that Nintendo has used for 25 long years, Lewa arrives at the boss door.*

Lewa: You know, Midna, I was nervous-scared about this, but now I feel strong-confident in my abilities.

Midna: That's good. Now just keep it up and get what I want from whatever is behind that door.

Lewa: You got it. As long as it isn't some three-headed mutant-plant that spits acid from its mouth.

*Lewa goes into the chamber and meets the mutant plant, the Twilit Parasite Diababa.*

Lewa, crying: I'm not okay anymore!!

Ook, swinging in from afar: Hey! I'm good now! I help you! I give you bombs!

Lewa: Hey! And if I use this boomerang… wait… don't I already control air? Then why do I need this boomerang again?

Chuggaaconroy: Nintendo logic!!

ShadowBionics: And… it's kinda my fault, too…

Lord of shadows: So it's both of your guy's fault!

ShadowBionics: I created you, I can uncreate you. You're only an avatar of my existence in this world. Besides, Lewa, your air power can't directly reach that bomb. You need that boomerang.

Lord of shadows: All right… *he hangs his head in shame and walks away silently.*

Lewa: All right.

*Lewa uses the gale boomerang to take up the bomb and direct it at the evil plant's mouth. One by one, he takes them down.*

Lewa: Surprise sword attack! *He leaps into the air and does an Ending blow onto the main plant head, defeating the monster once and for all.*

*As Lewa stands in victory, the plant explodes and reveals a strange-looking artifact covered in shadows. As Lewa is about to claim it, Midna pops up from his shadow and claims it.*

Midna: Gimme that.

Lewa: Hey! Shouldn't I be allowed to have it?

Midna: No. Now be quiet, whipping boy. This is a Fused Shadow, an ancient artifact of my people. It houses a dark power, and one like you can't handle it.

Lewa: All right, fine…

Midna: Now let's get out of here and find more portions of this land covered in the Twilight.

Lewa: Here we go again.

*Lewa steps into the magic exit created by Midna and together they exit the Forest Temple, one of the Fused Shadows in hand. Oh, and somewhere along the line, Lewa looses Ooccoo.*

[Meta Nuva]

Ooccoo is freaky.

Yeah, this is an awk chappy. It perfectly describes Midna's meaness, though .

KUTGW.

~MN~

[ShadowBionics]

All right, here is chapter 8, originally written in May of this year. So yeah, reviewing the order of the chapters... Chapter 5 was June 2011. Chapter 6 and 7 were December 2011. Chapter 8 is May of this year. Yup. This was the year I was finally able to sit down and re-evaluate a few things, including plot and characters. This will bring in a few of my Bionicle OC's as well as a few of my favorite characters to use.

*Now having gotten one of the fused shadows for Midna, Lewa had to go off in search for the second one. Where was it? Anyone's guess, really, although it couldn't hurt to go around all of Metru Nui and see. While searching, Midna explained a little bit about them… So they're these rock things and then they fit with Midna's helmet thingy and they give her some special powers and… Okay, I'm not sure what they really are. Why don't we just skip back to our heroes?*

Lewa: So if we go to New Ta-Metru, we are sure to snatch-grab one of those fused shadows!

Midna: New Ta-Metru? What happened to the old one?

Lewa: Well, about 178 years ago, there was some red pyromaniac fire-spitter who caused the whole thing to be nuke-burned to the ground.

*Flashback, 178 years ago (The Dimwit of Time, Chapter 12)*

Tahu (DOT): Burn stuff!!!

Kopaka (DOT), face palm: Why is it that I am cursed to be like your keeper?

Tahu: Beacause you BURN BETTER!! *Tahu sets Kopaka ablaze as he resumes burning the rest of Ta-Metru to the ground, just missing Lewa, the Hero of Time, as he meets Remote who is hiding from the inferno*

Kopaka: I can only hope my descendants aren't cursed with this as I am.

*Present Day, Twilight Delinquent*

Lewa: Long story short, our ancestors just move-shoved it over a little bit to the left.

Midna: Okay… nothing wrong with that.

*Their conversation is cut short when they approach a very familiar looking door made of twilight.*

Lewa, gulps: Well, this is it. Going back in there… without a sweater…

Midna: Oh, come on, you're acting like it's going to kill you. It's not the first time you've been in the twilight.

Lewa: I know, but it just creep-scares me out of my wits.

Midna: Look, how about this? I'll help you in there, nice and slowly.

Lewa: Really?

Midna: Sure. I'll just pass right through… *Like that, Midna leaves Lewa's shadow and passes through the door. And then without warning, her hair (now a large, scary hand) breaks through the door, grabs Lewa, and pulls him into the twilight as he lets out a horrified scream for mercy.*

*Not soon after Lewa gets to his feet, he becomes a wolf again and Midna is once again taunting him.*

Midna: You know, I kind of like you better this way than your Toa self.

Lewa: Stop mocking me.

Midna: Hush, whipping boy. Now get moving.

*Lewa reluctantly moves forward, fearful of getting another slap from Midna if he disobeyed her. As he goes along, he spots a wooden sword. As he inspects it, he realizes it was the same one he let Talo have before the children all mysteriously vanished for reasons the game developers did not disclose.*

Lewa: Hey, I can sniff-search for them using the scent.

Midna: Good little doggie. Now hurry up.

*After fighting off a few twilight monsters, Lewa makes it to New Ta-Metru, which is unsurprisingly consumed by the twilight. No sooner does he enter, he encounters a spring which houses another light spirit.*

Eldin: Oh, hero chosen by the gods--

Lewa: You want me to cruise-around all of the Metru, kill some bugs, and restore your light.

Eldin: Oh, you already know?

Lewa: I guessed. Now give me the vessel so I can go.

*So Lewa gets the vessel of light and he makes his way through New Ta-Metru. As he collects a few of the ones he needed, he spies a hotel/fun zone in the distance…*

*Within the Hotel/fun zone…*

Barnes: Oh, that's it man. There's a bunch of monsters out there, man. Game over, man, game over!

Tahu: Do not scare the children, Barnes.

Kopaka: Yeah. And do you know how long it took me to calm Tahu down? And if you only knew this guy's ancestry…

Tahu: Hey, no one is supposed to know that! Besides, you're both scaring the children.

Malo: It won't matter, because Karzahni's army is upon us. You will all suffer and I will serve as his right-hand man once he sees my potential. And then you will all be my slaves.

Talo: Stop it with the Karzahni stuff, it's weird.

Malo: You're only saying that because you fear me.

Talo: Go to Karzahni!

Malo: Exactly my point.

Barnes: Eeek! I saw one of them move, man!

Tahu: You're getting on my nerves, so shut it before I nuke you.

*As they all argued, Lewa entered the hotel/fun zone.*

Lewa: Who are these weird-freaks? I'd hate to have known them in any lifetime.

Midna: You got me. But let's listen in on their conversation.

Lewa: Why?

Midna: Cause it's funny.

Kopaka: Keep your temper, Tahu. You didn't gain all this fortune after what your ancestor did only to lose it, remember?

Beth: I'm sad!

Tahu: Why?

Beth: I might never get to see Lewa again.

Colin: It'll all be all right. Lewa is coming to save us.

Lewa: Wow, they still have faith in me after all this?

Midna, unfazed: Wow. Touching. And now I don't care. We still have a problem to deal with, you know?

Lewa: We do?

*somewhere far away…*

Zant: All according to my devilishly diabolic plan. *uncontrollable maniacal laughter*

*Back in New Ta-Metru…*

Lewa: Oh, right, him.

Barnes: I don't know who this Lewa guy is, but he sounds important or whatever, man.

Tahu: Why does that name sound familiar?

Kopaka: Could it be the same guy our ancestors once fought alongside with?

Tahu and Kopaka: Nah.

Tahu: Well, all I can say is I hope the monsters aren't smart enough to come in through our cellar that can be only activated by lighting the torches.

Kopaka: I still think that's a dumb security measure.

Tahu: Well, how else am I going to open it? By burning it!

Kopaka: Keep your cool, Tahu. Remember old Ta-Metru… remember your ancestor.

Tahu: I said to shut up!!

Midna: Did you hear that, Lewa?

Lewa: Yeah. This guy's got some major family issues.

Midna: Yeah, that, too. But we can find the other bugs in the cellar, I bet.

Lewa: Why?

Midna: Bugs always like dank and dark places.

Lewa: But he said we need to burn-light the torches.

Tahu: I'll just light this candle and hopefully nothing will lead to the cellar being opened.

Lewa: Can they make this any easier?

*Without really thinking, Lewa takes a discarded branch (Tahu doesn't really clean up the place or close the windows except for this occasion) and lights both ends on fire to imitate his secret dream of being Darth Maul, and then he lights the torches and the cellar opens up.*

Tahu: AAAHH!!! The cellar! It opened up on its own! It's my ancestor! He's trying to tell me something!

Kopaka: Tahu… you're scaring me. Please… don't give into your madness.

*As Lewa and Midna dash into the cellar, Tahu approaches one of the torches.*

Tahu: What's that, Grand-dad?

Kopaka: He's lost his mind.

Barnes: Can't have something you didn't have.

Beth: What's the red guy doing?

Malo: He has given into the inferno.

Tahu: You say I should embrace my roots? You say I should believe in who I am? I will, Grand-dad, I will!

Kopaka: No… No, don't do it.

Tahu: For you, I must…

Kopaka: Children, get into the cellar!

Colin: But what about?--

Kopaka: I said get in there! This is 100 times worse!

Tahu: Burn stuff!

*So the children and Barnes go into the cellar as Tahu goes on a temporary psychopathic moment of power.

[ShadowBionics]

Here is chapter 9, also written in May of this year. Hopefully you'll be able to see how it's slowly finding a balance between Bionicle and Zelda. And also, there's a few references to DOT, so if you haven't read that story, then some instances won't make sense.



*While Tahu went on a crazy rampage of burning all in sight (which actually only applied to who those who were turned into spirits due to the twilight), Lewa and Midna continued the search for the bugs, which lead them all over New Ta-Metru. Lewa had to climb up a dangerous volcanic mountain where he encountered the spirits of all the Onu-Matoran and Toa of Earth. Somehow, Lewa was left with an unsettling vibe, as if he had a bad experience with them in a previous lifetime…*

*After he nabbed another howling stone and got the bugs on the mountain, he set off to finish up the search. The last few bugs were actually in Barnes' house. With that, Lewa broke into the house to finish up the search.*

Lewa: Why does it smell like gun-powder?

Midna: Beats me. Everyone I've seen here so far is a walking freak show.

Lewa: And it's so pitch-dark in here, too.

Midna: Stop complaining, whipping boy. Just find the stupid bugs so we can move on.

Lewa: Better turn on a light. I'll light this candle.

*Somehow, Lewa kept his double-edged torch and he used it to light a candle… which actually turned out to be a stick of dynamite. And to make matters worse, all that gun powder they were smelling? Those were barrels of gunpowder being stored inside!*

Midna: Now look what you did!

Lewa: Yikes! *As he knocked over the dynamite, the fuse actually went out. However, a spark from the fuse caught onto some loose gunpowder, causing it to quickly ignite and in a matter of seconds caused the whole place to catch ablaze. Seriously, who keeps their house with gunpowder?*

Midna: Uh… as romantic as this is… I'm outta here!

*Within half a second, Midna was gone and Lewa was by himself.*

Lewa: Hello? Midna? Don't leave me here!

*As Lewa cries, he frantically tries to find a way out. It took him a while to realize he could dig his way out via a patch of dirt that had been right next to him the whole time. After he finally saw it, he made his way out just in time to watch the fire works.*

*After the whole place exploded, Midna reappeared to Lewa.*

Midna: Hey, what's up?

Lewa: Why'd you leave me to get nuke-burned?!

Midna: Why'd you set the place on fire?

[awkward pause]

Lewa: Touche.

Midna: Did you even get the bugs?

Lewa: Uh…

*Luckily for Lewa, the explosion actually took care of the last 3 of them, so he was able to get the remaining tears of light and fill the vessel. With that, Lewa returned to the spring and Eldin's light was restored. With the twilight gone, Lewa is able to return to his Toa self. Eldin then appeared, all shining and glowing. He looked like some weird kind of hawk thing.*

Eldin: Hey, what's up?

Lewa: Look here, freak-bird thing, I didn't trek-quest all over New Ta-Metru just for a simple "what's up" greeting.

Eldin: Calm down, whipping boy.

Lewa: *groans* What are you anyway? You and Faron are like these weird creatures.

Eldin: The developers were fans of Avatar: The Last Airbender, okay? Now then, I take it you want to take the evil relic that taints this land with darkness.

Lewa: Wait, what evil relic?

Eldin: The fused shadow.

Lewa: The what?

Eldin: Surely you know about them. If you spoke to Faron, I'm sure you already have one. What did you think you were collecting this whole time for that imp girl?

Lewa: I don't know, she never let me see. I was collecting something for her.

Eldin: They're pieces of a stone mask.

Lewa: I didn't know they were evil.

Eldin: She never told you they were evil?

Lewa: I don't know.

Eldin: You're such a terrible hero… Just go to the mines where Onu-Metru and New Ta-Metru meet so you can save the Onu-Matoran and Toa from the evil power.

Lewa, walking away: Fine, I'll do it. Why do I get the feeling I'm about to relive a bad memory? Hey, are you going to--?

Eldin, as he disappears: No, I'm lazy, too.

Colin: Lewa?

Lewa: Oh, hey, Colin.

Talo: Out of me way! *He pushes Colin to the ground and runs to Lewa, Beth and evil baby following behind him.*

Lewa: Wow, you guys are just plain mean. Except you, Colin, you're cool.

*As Colin runs up to Lewa, Tahu (who's calmed down) comes out, followed by Kopaka and Barnes.*

Tahu: So, you are the one who has saved us.

Malo, glares: Yes... he is.

Tahu: Allow me to introduce myself. I am Tahu, and I own this entire place. I also reside in my Hotel/carnival. And this…

*Barnes lifts up his mask and smiles.*

Tahu: This is Kopaka.

Kopaka: Help me, I'm being held here against my will.

Tahu: He's just kidding. Well, that's everyone who's important to me.

Barnes: *frowns and puts mask back down.*

Tahu: A great evil pervades Metru Nui… It is in need of a hero who can take care of it. Not like the Hero of Time, though. He messed things up quite a lot.

Malo: A nightmare.

Tahu: And nightmares are everywhere these days. I should know, the spirit of my Grand-dad haunts me in my sleep. Are you some kind of hero?

Lewa: Why, yes, I am a Toa-hero.

Tahu: Well, so am I, but you don't hear me bragging about it.

Lewa: Why don't you do something?

Tahu: Uh… I'm the king of doing nothing. It's in my title.

Kopaka, sighs: He isn't joking. *He takes out one of Tahu's business cards, which reads as : "Tahu-- Hotel/carnival owner, Wedding planner, Day care specialist, VCR repairman, Doctor, Dog groomer, Lawyer, King of doing nothing about anything evil.*

Lewa: I'll be darned.

Tahu: Now then, go up and talk to the proud and strong Onu-Matoran people. They're friendly and they like everybody.

Lewa: Really? Okay.

*One trip up the mountain later…*

Nuparu: Stay out of here, freak! *Throws Lewa off the mountain trail.*

Lewa: What was that all about? *As Lewa leaves, he runs into Tahu.*

Tahu: I'm surprised to see you alive.

Lewa: Why, because the psycho-Toa didn't kill me?!

Tahu, laughing: I just wanted to see if you'd actually believe me. Man, I can't believe you fell for that! *laughing his head off, but then calms down.*

Tahu: But yeah, seriously, they hate everyone. They weren't always like this. I'm good friends with one of the Toa, Onua. But now, he doesn't even want to see my face.

Lewa: They weren't always like this?

Tahu: No, they weren't. I think this started up recently when they started going all "I hate everyone" on us all. I think it's got to do with the whole evil thing.

Lewa: But how do I scale-climb the mountain if they just attack me and shove-throw me off?

Tahu: There is only one individual who's ever bested them. See, they like to get into fights that involve who's the heaviest. Sadly, you and I are very light. But this individual was somehow able to beat them at their own game.

Lewa: Who is it already?!

Tahu: He's the mayor of your home village in Ordon.

Lewa: WHAT?! But I hate him so much!!

Tahu: Why do you hate him?

Lewa: Actually, I don't. But I have to trek-quest all the way over there?!

Tahu: Yeah. Pretty much.

Lewa: *groans* I hate trek-traveling…

*Lewa walks away grumbling about how he hates traveling on foot, when out of nowhere he sees Epona being harassed by some bulbins. Forgetting about going to Ordon, he makes work of them and he tames Epona, calming her down.*

Midna: Well, I guess you make a decent wrangler. Now that you have your horse back, let's get going to see this mayor of yours so we can just take care of those metal-heads.

Lewa: Yeah, I guess so.

*With that, Midna returns to Lewa's shadow, and Lewa goes on a trip back to Ordon.*

Mayor: Huh?? Lewa? Is that you?

Lewa: Yeah, it's me. Look, I need your help. I have to challenge those guys in Onu-Metru in a fight.

Mayor: What? *sighs.* Well, I never thought I'd be saying this, but… let's talk further inside.

*Lewa reluctantly leaves Epona and goes into the Mayor's house, a place that no one in the village aside from Hahli and the Mayor himself have actually seen.*

Lewa: So this is the mythical house everyone wants to see inside?

Mayor: Yes. I don't know why that is.

Lewa: Maybe because you don't let anyone in?

Mayor: Yeah… So tell me, where is everyone?

*Lewa explains to him the story about how he found everyone in New Ta-Metru, about how he was now a chosen hero, and about how he needed to go into the Onu-Metru mines.*

Mayor: So, the children are in New Ta-Metru along with Tahu. I'm sure they'll be fine… as long as they don't mention fire around him. What about Hahli? Was she there, too?

Lewa: Well…

Mayor: Say no more. I can see by your expression… Well, I'm sure she will turn up soon.

Lewa: Yeah… Now I need to learn how to take on all of those lunk heads.

Mayor: Well, lucky for you, their eyesight isn't really all that good. However, they can hear you pretty well. They're also not all that smart sometimes. Unless you're dealing with Onua, or the patriarch Whenua. They're very sharp. But I will teach you the art of the fight of the heaviest…

Lewa: This won't end well, will it?

Mayor: No.

Lewa: I didn't think so…

[Meta Nuva]

Tahu is Renado, Kopaka is Barnes, Nuparu is the first Goron...yeah, I'm seeing more of a balance now. I still wish that all the Zelda characters were replaced, but oh well...

This chappy was pretty good, not as good as the last one, but I can see that better ones are on their way .

KUTGW.

~MN~

[ShadowBionics]

Actually, in this story Barnes is Barnes. Kopaka is there because I'm used to having Tahu and Kopaka as a team. And it would go against me to break up the team. Unfortunately I can't replace all the Zelda characters since there's just not enough Bionicle characters to give parts to. And you'll see why when I start bringing in some of my Glatorian OC's to fill in some roles. I honestly tried, but some things just can't be done fully.

Anyways, Chapter 10, written June 3 of this year. And as you will be able to tell as you read, you'll also get to see a reference to one of my new favorite games my best friend got me into. And one of my favorite characters from said game... DON'T TELL ANYONE!!




*It took a while but after a long time of training, but Lewa was eventually able to learn the art of fighting in the fight of who's the heaviest against Mayor Bo. Afterwards, the two met upstairs and Mayor Bo was about to bid Lewa farewell.*

Lewa: So the reason why you never let anyone into your house was because you never wanted them to see your super-secret wrestling ring?

Mayor: Yeah, something like that. But there's also one more thing. Lewa, before you go, take what in the trunk over there. That's also part of why no one is ever allowed into my house.

*Lewa goes over and eager unlocks the trunk.*

Lewa: It's a pair of boots.

Mayor: Iron boots. I used them to best the Toa of Earth.

Lewa: Wait, so you were never the heaviest?

Mayor: No… that's part of my deepest shame. I needed those boots to stay anchored to the ground. Otherwise they would have pummeled me into next Tuesday.

Lewa: So you used big-heavy shoes to beat those guys. Wow. No wonder you're so ashamed.

Mayor: Yeah, I know… But you can use those boots to help you. Luckily, they never realized my ruse, and sure enough I doubt they will ever catch on. Go, and defeat them so you can save the children and find my crazy daughter.

Lewa: Don't worry. She owes me money, so I won't let that go.

*Lewa began making his way over to New Ta-Metru, when something caught him off guard.*

The Postman: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! !

*Lewa, afraid, turned around to see one of the scariest sights he had ever seen. More scary than the Diobaba, more frightening than the Happy Mask Salesman. It was… The Postman.*

Lewa: AAAAAAAAHHHHH!

The Postman: Oh, there you are, Mr. Lewa. I'd been looking for you for a long time. I have some letters for you.

Lewa, scared: Uh… sure. Okay.

The Postman: Here you go, Mr. Lewa! There, my job is done. *He then runs away at high speed. Lewa then hides the letters in a small satchel and continued on, trying to get the image of The Postman out of his head.*

*As Lewa and Epona raced back to New Ta-Metru, trouble was brewing as King Bulblin and his cohorts made the scene. The kids were all playing outside when they made the square. Sadly, Tahu was indisposed and Kopaka was busy trying to calm him down from having a pyromania attack.*

*King Bulblin was racing towards Beth, who was frozen in fear. Talo ran off, Malo was inside watching, and Colin looked on in fear. But something inside Colin made him get over his fear, and he raced towards Beth, knocking her out of the way as King Bulblin and his Bulbo raced at her. Barnes actually ran outside in time to see King Bulblin holding Colin, unconscious, right above his head. He then looked over to Barnes and raised his mask, making his face visible.*

King Bulblin: Hey. How's it going?

*Intimidated by his deep and commanding voice, Barnes lowered his mask to cover his face.*

*King Bulblin then let out a war cry, but was interrupted when he spotted Lewa and Epona coming to the rescue. King Bulblin signaled the others to follow his lead, and they escaped to the Bridge of Eldin, with Lewa and Epona hot on their trail. When the duo got onto the bridge, they were caught off guard when a few Bulblins blocked off the entrance with a wooden gate. It was worse when an archer used a fire arrow to set it ablaze. Lewa looked at the opposite end where King Bulblin was. On that end, the same thing took place, meaning they were both locked in place on the bridge for an epic duel.*

*Both wasted no time and they engaged in an epic jousting match, in which King Bulblin ultimately lost to his great luck (and I mean luck, he would have lost had King Bulblin not had his mask covering his face again) and he fell off the bridge to his ultimate doom.*

*Moments after, Lewa found Colin and got him back to the others.*

Colin: Lewa?

Lewa: Yeah, it's me. Pretty crazy ride back there.

Colin: I had this terrible dream! Everything was like a badly animated cartoon! And there was this king who was obsessed with dinner. And you were there, except you had an annoying voice and you were happy about everything.

Lewa: What have you been eating before bed?

Beth: We're just glad you're okay, Colin.

Colin: You're not mad at me, are you?

*Beth happily shook her head.*

Colin: I think I know what my father meant when he wanted me to be more like you, Lewa.

Lewa: Really? How so?

Colin: He wanted me to be more brave like you.

Lewa: Yeah, I guess that sounds right. Your father's a weird-freak.

Colin: I know…

Tahu: All right, now since I'm also a doctor, I will take him into the hotel/carnival so that he may rest.

Lewa: Yeah, you do that. I have some Onu-Matoran and Toa to deal with.

*Lewa starts his way back up the trail, only to meet with Nuparu.*

Nuparu: I thought I ran you out of here.

Lewa: I am a slow learner.

Nuparu: Twice the pride, double the fall. Take this!

*Nuparu lunges at Lewa, ready to throw him off again, But Lewa, prepared for his attack and clad with the Iron Boots, is able to counter him, grabbing him by the arms, and then tossing him off the mountain trail.*

Lewa: Challenge accepted.

*Lewa continued on the mountain trail with little to nothing else happening to him aside from rocks flying out of the volcano now and again… and aside from a moment when a meteor actually fell from the sky. As Lewa looks over at the meteor, there is the sound of a creepy violin playing. Lewa gets closer to the impact sight and the music continues to get scarier.*

Meteor: Well, hello there, little boy. Don't be shy. Step right up, I'm a reasonable guy. Don't be frightened by the look in my eye, I'm just your average evil meteor from out of the sky.

Lewa: Uh… Okay… And I'm not little. What's your deal?

Meteor: Well, I'm just tired and scared of this place. I'm just a big shot of water from outer space. As you can see, the trip has left me tired and drained, so why don't you be a pal, and bring me some BRAINS?

Lewa: Okay!

Midna: Uh, Lewa… can I have a word with you?

Lewa: What?

Midna: Are you really sure you want to help a green glowing meteor with one eye and sings catchy tunes? Besides, you're forgetting why we're here in the first place.

Lewa: Fine…

*Lewa runs over to a random Toa, scares him and makes him create a tall pillar. Lewa then uses it to climb up and into the main chamber.*

Lewa: Well, this is it… I'm going in.

Midna: Before you go, I want you to know something… From the first day we met, looked at you and thought to myself… "I think you're stupid."

*Lewa gulped and went in, faced off against a lot of Matoran and Toa, eyes all on him. They all stared at him. Lewa got his sword and shield ready. Before anyone could react, a voice called out.*

Onua: Hold it!

*Everyone stopped, and Onua pushed his way through the crowd.*

Onua: What brings you here, green one who resembles someone who once fought alongside my ancestor?

Lewa: I'm here to fight for my friends' freedom. One on one. Unless the Skrall leader is the real coward!

Onua: What?

Lewa: Sorry, I was playing up to the moment. I'm here to get into the mines and fix-solve whatever problems are going on so you'll stop being mean to everyone.

Onua: Wait, we aren't being mean to anyone.

Lewa: Then why wouldn't anyone let me inside? And Tahu said you stopped talking to him.

Onua: Was that Nuparu? He's just cranky because he can't find his multi-meter. He gets like that and takes out his angst on everyone. And Tahu wanted to talk to me? Darn. Nuparu needs to learn some manners. He could have ruined our friendship that way.

Lewa: So I don't have to fight you?

Onua: No, not really. Not unless you want to.

Lewa: I'd rather not.

Onua: Okay. Well, since you're here to help us, when going into the mines you must beware of our Patriarch, Whenua. He got a hold of some rock thing that turned him evil, so a few of the elders agreed to lock him up and split the key into three. We even enlisted the help of some guy with a funny accent to help us keep out intruders. If you beat him, he'll give you something helpful to return Whenua to his normal state.

Lewa: Okay, sounds good to me.

*Lewa enters the mines, which are filled with tons of fire and lava and death.*

Lewa: Tahu would feel at home here…

Midna: Let's got beat this guard guy and get whatever he's got.

Lewa: Yeah, it sounds like something cool.

*Eventually Lewa enters a large lava pit with a magnetic rock floating in the center. Before he could really react, he was caught off guard by the appearance of a rusty armored foe with red antler and an accent.*

Fire Lord: Good to see you again, Preston.

Lewa: Who?

Fire Lord: Oh, sorry, it's so hot in here I couldn't see for a moment there.

Lewa: Why is your speech-talk so funny?

Fire Lord: I come from a world below.

Lewa: Where is that from?

Fire Lord: Gran Pulse.

Midna: Stop making Final Fantasy references!

Lewa: What?

Oerba Yun Fang: Not too bright, are you now? And you're a bit feisty yourself there.

Lewa: … Uh…

Fang, laughs: Get a hold of yourself now. You've got a job to do.

Lewa: Uh, right. Fighting the giant moose man.

Fire Lord: You shall not pass!! *He creates fire from his duel fire shooter weapon, intimidating Lewa.*

Lewa: This guy is insane.

Fang: Don't sweat it, he's just an overgrown Pulsework solider. If it'll make you feel less scared, how about I go ahead and help you out?

*Before Lewa could really say anything, Fang gets out her spear and approaches the Fire Lord.*

Fire Lord: Ooh hoo hoo. Wasn't expecting you around these parts.

Fang: Now don't be getting all cute on me. Let's see if you're more than just a load of talk.

*Before the Fire Lord could really react, Fang take a few jabs and swipes at him with her spear.*

Fang: On your knees! *Fang takes one last jab at him in the torso, causing him to weaken and stumble over to his knees.*

Fire Lord: Ugh…

Fang: Right, then. He's all yours. *Fang leaps over the dazed Fire Lord, and kicks him over to a bewildered Lewa. Afterwards, she makes her way over to a chest the Fire Lord was guarding, and sure enough it contained the Hero's Bow.*

Lewa: Whoa… *The Fire Lord tried to get back up, but without trying, Lewa just pushed him back over, causing him to fall off the rock and… well, let's just say he's going to be smelling like hot dogs for a long time.*

Fang: I think you can handle things from here on out. Good luck out there.

Lewa: Wait, why did you assist-help me?

Fang: Let's just say me and him had some unfinished business to take care of. *With that, Fang leaves Lewa to the rest of the dungeon.*

Midna: Come on, Lewa, and get that bow. There's a switch you need to get so we can leave this room.

Lewa: Oh, that's right. Okay. *With that, he takes the Hero's Bow and hits the switch with an arrow, allowing them to progress forward.*

Edited by ShadowBionics, Nov 13 2012 - 12:48 AM.

[Meta Nuva]

Lewa: So the reason why you never let anyone into your house was because you never wanted them to see your super-secret wrestling ring?

Mayor: Yeah, something like that. But there's also one more thing. Lewa, before you go, take what in the trunk over there. That's also part of why no one is ever allowed into my house.

What about Fado's house ?

Good chappy, although not into FF, so I don't get the references . Still good nonetheless.

Also, does it bother you that I'm your only reader?

~MN~

[ShadowBionics]

Lewa: So the reason why you never let anyone into your house was because you never wanted them to see your super-secret wrestling ring?

Mayor: Yeah, something like that. But there's also one more thing. Lewa, before you go, take what in the trunk over there. That's also part of why no one is ever allowed into my house.

What about Fado's house ?

Good chappy, although not into FF, so I don't get the references . Still good nonetheless.

Also, does it bother you that I'm your only reader?

~MN~

WHO?

All you really have to know about Fang for this story is that she's from a land down under (no, not Australia, but close) called Gran Pulse, she can fight, and she has an Australian accent. And she makes me laugh.

If this were the old ShadowBionics on the old BZPower that everyone used to kick around, then yes it would. However, after losing some valuable friends on here and seeing the loss of a key person, he is gone and now only I remain. Losing so many people kind of toughened me up. And frankly, I'm just here to post chapters of my stories. I write because it makes me HAPPY. I don't care about viewers/readers/whatever you'd consider them. So, no, it doesn't bother me at all. That ShadowBionics who would be bothered by it is long gone.

Enough about my boring life, here is chapter 11 of the story. We move on some more with the plot.





*After getting some now-redundant training from Mayor Bo, defeating King Bulblin, winning the trust of Onu-Metru, and beating the Fire Lord with some surprise help, Lewa set off to get the three pieces of the key in order to take on the Patriarch, who apparently turned into some evil monster by a dark power.*

Midna: Can you go any slower?

Lewa: Don't blame me if I can quick-move on these magnetic rocks! How is this even possible?

ShadowBionics: VIDEO GAME LOGIC.

Lewa: Besides, that weirdo Ooccoo wasn't any much help…

*2 minutes earlier…*

Lewa: Hey, Midna, is it hot in here or is it just--?

Midna: No, Lewa… just don't.

Chuggaaconroy: *shakes his head in shame.* Not even I would make a pun that bad.

Lewa: Why must you be so cruel-mean? I have self-esteem issues, you know. *While Lewa looked down in disappointment, he notices a random pot starting to move.*

Lewa: The pot is haunted!!

Midna: The pot isn't haunted, you stooge! Just use your sword on it.

Lewa: Okay…*Lewa chops the pot in half, and sure enough Ooccoo pops out, making some strange squabbling noises that sound just… strange. I hope we don't encounter a whole race of these weird sort of creatures.*

Ooccoo: Oh! Hello there, fellow adventurer. Funny running into you here.

Lewa: I'd say the same thing. Why are you in a volcano I just so happen to be trek-questing in?

Ooccoo: I don't know. Everything before last night was a blur. I know, let's team up again. Two heads are better than one!

Midna: Better than none is more like it, with Lewa around.

*And thus Lewa got Ooccoo, and now we end this flashback.*

Midna: Whatever. Let's just talk to those old folks and get this over with.

Lewa: Come now, Midna. The elderly are our greatest resource ever-full of deep wisdom and experience. They are important members of society, and I'm sure whatever they have to talk to us about will be intuitive and insightful.

Midna: Hmm. I never thought of it that way.

Lewa: Have I ever been wrong?

*Well, anyways, since the process of him meeting with each and every elder took quite a while, this scene was cut to make for time. But in the end, the first elder gave him the key piece, as did the second and third elders.*

*So with the complete key, Lewa makes his way for the locked door and enters a dark chamber. Sure enough, there is Whenua, although now he is much larger and chained up, his arms hanging from the ceiling and his legs chained to the floor. He is breathing heavily when he spots Lewa.*

Lewa: All right, he's chained. This is gonna be easy.

*In the irony of his words, the changed Whenua begins to stir. The jewel in his head glows a bright crimson and he begins to pull at his chains. After failing to break the chains, Whenua roars and begins to glow until his body ignites. Weakened by the intense heat, the chains give away when Whenua pulls his arms free. It was definite he was no longer the Onu-Metru Patriarch. He was now something much larger and dangerous. He was now Twilit Igniter Pyrunua…*

Lewa: Maybe not…

*Pyrunua, angered at Lewa's appearance, begins to run at him, but Lewa being more nimble and quick, was able to dodge him. Then he noticed the chains at his legs. With fast thinking, Lewa grabs at the chains. Pyrunua pulls him due to his larger size and greater strength.*

Lewa: Okay, that's not working out very well…

*Looking again, Lewa notices the chamber's floor is made partially out of the magnetic rock. So before going back to his strategy, he puts on the iron boots, this time able to trip Pyrunua and… defeat him??*

Pyrunua, as he falls: Oops! *Then he falls flat on his face. Pyrunua was defeated and the curse on him lifted.*

Lewa: Are you joking? That was it? All I had to do was making him fall face-flat on the floor??

Fang: Gotta hand it to you, not bad of a job there.

Lewa: Where'd you come from??

Fang: Place called Gran Pulse. Really nice place, you know.

Lewa: Uh…

Fang: Just thought I'd catch the show and see how you'd fair. Well, in that case, I guess I'll be heading off, then.

*Before Lewa could question the warrior woman further, the second fused shadow appears to him.*

Midna: Well, at least I got another fused shadow out of this.

Lewa: You??

Midna: Yeah, me. Now give me that! You don't even know what these are. *She turns away and creates a magic exit.* Now let's get out of here before they find out we killed him.

Whenua: Oh, man, my head…

Midna: I guess we didn't kill him after all.

Whenua: What did I do last night?

*With that, Lewa runs into the exit and gets out of the mines, leaving a confused Whenua to figure things out for himself. He then ends up at the Eldin Spring to speak to whatever his name is.*

Eldin: Well done, hero. I'm sure you know what to do next.

Lewa: No idea.

Eldin: Fine. Just talk to Midna. I'm tired of talking to you. *With that, Eldin goes away and Lewa turns around, just in time to see Tahu and the gang ready to greet him.*

Tahu, unfazed: Thank goodness you're completely unharmed.

*Colin pushes his way through the crowd and tries to run over to Lewa, but falls due to the fact he is still recovering. Lewa goes over to him and helps him back up.*

Lewa: Colin, you're alive.

Colin: Lewa, you're still alive.

Lewa: …

Colin: Just kidding.

*Later…*

Lewa: Hey, Barnes, I need bombs.

Barnes: Oh, well that's fine and good, man. Here you go.

Lewa: Wait, I don't have to go through any kind of process?

Barnes: Sorry, man, I just haven't felt the same since those monsters blew up my house.

Lewa: Uh… yeah. Darn those monsters.

Barnes: Oh, and I don't know if I told you, but you can put one of those bombs to your arrows to make bomb arrows.

Lewa: But… How would that work?

Barnes: I don't know, man. I don't question these things.

Lewa: Wouldn't the air resistance push back against the arrow due to the heavy object at the end? And then wouldn't it just result in the arrow just going about two feet before fall-plopping to the ground?

Barnes: I don't know, man, I just sell the stuff.

ShadowBionics: VIDEO GAME LOGIC.

*Sometime later, while Lewa tests out the bomb arrow theory, some of those said monsters come around and mess up the Bridge of Eldin, taking out a portion of it so that--*

Gandalf: You shall not pass!!

Lewa: Ah, great, they nuked the bridge.

Midna: I don't think they nuked it.

Lewa: Either way, I have to find another path… You said we must go to wherever Lanayru is, right?

Midna: Yeah, that's more or less what I said while you were shooting bomb arrows like a fool.

Lewa: That would be towards the Coliseum of Metru Nui, closer to Ga-Metru then.

*As Lewa goes off to find another way, he is met with a familiar golden wolf, which tries to bite his head off. One more he is taken into an ancient realm where he meets the Hero's Shade.*

Hero's Shade: You're late.

Lewa: I had things to do.

Hero's Shade: Like toy-playing with bomb arrows?

Lewa: Oh, you saw that…?

Hero's Shade: We must not mess around. We must make haste. I shall teach you the next skill, the shield attack. Let it be hewn into your mind.

Lewa: Cool. How does it work?

Hero's Shade: Before that, let us review the finishing blow.

*Wasting no time, Lewa kicks the Shade to the ground and then leaps into the air and pierces him with the sword as before.*

Hero's Shade, groans: Good, you remembered. Now then, the shield attack. To use it, just focus on your target and bash them with your shield. This leaves your target confused-dazed and subject to your attack.

Lewa: Like this? *Lewa randomly bashes the Shade with his shield, knocking him back, and then he delivers a few slashes at him with his sword.*

Hero's Shade, groans: Excellent. The second hidden skill, the shield attack, has been passed. Next time we meet, try and be a little earlier next time.

Lewa: Can't promise you that.

Hero's Shade: Ugh, you kids today…

*With that, Lewa is transported back to where he was before and able to resume his quest to find a new passage way. After a while, he is able to make it just outside of Ga-Metru, which has been taken over by the Twilight as well.*

Midna: So, you ready, Lewa?

Lewa, whining: I don't wanna go back in there…

Midna: Don't worry. I promise it won't be so bad this time.

Lewa: Okay…

*Midna travels through the Twilight, and then reaches out her shadow hand, grabbing Lewa and pulling him into the dark realm in a manner so violent as he struggles and screams in horror. Once inside, Lewa once again becomes a wolf and Midna appears to him once more.*

Midna: So, you happy to be a wolf this time?

Lewa: No, not really. I don't even wanna be here.

Midna: Not even to try saving that girl you like so much?

Lewa: Hahli? She owes me money.

Midna: I don't know, I just think you're so perfect together.

Lewa, annoyed: I hate you… Hey, look, her purse thing.

*Lewa runs over and sniffs her purse. Sadly, there was no money inside. Instead, he picks up her scent and can now follow it.*

*Eventually he follows it into the Coliseum town and into a milk bar (Guess Norik wasn't the only one who could open one up). There, he sees Hahli and another female, both looking after a young man who is unconscious.*

Gali: Don't worry, I'm sure he'll be just fine and things'll be all right. The doctor should know something.

Hahli: You sure? All he did was yell at me. And then he asked me when does he get paid…

Gali: Don't worry, he does that to everyone.

Midna: This is getting weird. Let's see what the guards are talking about.

Guard 6: Yeah… I was given orders to head to Lake Hylia, but I don't wanna.

Guard 8: It's too scary to go out there.

Guard 7: There might be spiders!

Midna: Well, I guess that's where we're heading next.

Lewa: But I don't wanna go.

Midna: Stop with the whining and get moving. You don't want to be like those poorly trained guards who don't do anything, do you?

Lewa: I guess not. All right. But I won't like it.

Edited by ShadowBionics, Nov 14 2012 - 04:40 PM.

[Meta-Mind]

Well, hello there. I was going to just silently stalk this topic, until I saw this.

Also, does it bother you that I'm your only reader?

~MN~

Just letting you know that I read these things too! As far as my commentary goes... well, I'd like to see most, if not all, characters replaced by Bionicle ones, but you know...

...Am I missing something here, or is it an odd coincidence that both of your readers are called Meta?

[ShadowBionics]

I kind of figured. The view count is over 140, so I'm guessing someone has to be looking at this topic now and again. But I've kind of gotten used to being the only one posting in my topics. As I said, I'm not looking for being popular or getting 100 comments in a topic. I just want to write these stories and post the chapters because writing makes me happy and I enjoy it.

Like I said earlier on, some things just can't be done. I mean, I could, but would you really want to see Krika be some crazy insane weirdo or Roodaka being some kind, nice, motherly-type character? I'm just exaggerating, but point is eventually I'd run out of characters for certain roles and in order to have purely Bionicle characters I'd have to resort to just putting them into random unfitting roles. And since it is a Zelda-Bionicle cross-over, it made sense to me to have a mix of both worlds, including characters.

All right, so here's Chapter 12, continuing on with Lewa and Midna going around the Lanayru province and restoring the light. And as I mentioned earlier, this is where I introduce some Glatorian OC's I had for a rejected story I never around to writing to. Before you ask, I don't have references for them, so sorry about that.


*After eavesdropping on a conversation among the guards in Gali's bar, Midna and Lewa went out to Lake Hylia. Lewa raced onto the Great bridge of Hylia when he noticed something was not right.*

Midna: What is it now?

Lewa: Do bridges smell like gasoline?

Midna: No.

Lewa: Oh, okay. This one smells like gasoline.

Midna: Are you sure?

Lewa: Have my wolf-senses ever lied?

Midna: Actually, no. You make a good point.

Lewa: What do normal bridges smell like?

Midna: How in the world would I know?

Lewa: Well, you said you knew bridges don't smell like gasoline, so I figured you knew what a bridge should smell like.

Midna: Well, no, I don't, but I do know they wouldn't smell like gasoline.

Hahu: Ha! I have you now! Now I shall burn you!

Midna: Is that… Tahu?

Hahu: No, silly imp girl. I am Hahu! Tahu's evil clone brother!

Midna, sarcastic: I can see the resemblance.

Hahu: And unlike Tahu, I do not fear the pyromania as he does!

*He takes out a bow and arrow, sets the tip on fire and launches it on the other end of the bridge.*

Lewa: Whoa! What are you doing? Are you working for Lord Helmet?

Hahu: Yes! But I'm just doing this for fun! Fire burns! Fire burns all! *He takes another arrow and launches it a few feet away, now trapping Lewa and Midna.*

Midna: Oh, that's just great. More fire. Lewa, see if you can--

Lewa: Forget that, I'm leap-jumping!

Midna: Lewa, wait! The lake is all drained around here, so that means there's no…

*SPLAT!*

Midna: …water. Lewa? Are you okay?

*Lewa crying in pain.*

Midna: Oh, dear.

*Sometime later, after Lewa somehow healed from his injuries thanks to VIDEO GAME LOGIC…*

Lewa: I'm guessing there's a spirit around here, so let's go find him.

Midna: There's just one problem with that.

Lewa: What is that?

Midna: He's up there… *points to cavern with sign that reads "Lanayru Spring."*

Lewa: Okay.

Midna: And we're down here. The dried up lake. No water whatsoever. We can't get up there properly.

Lewa: Oh…

Midna: So first we need to find out where the problem is so we can get the water going again.

*Looking around, she noticed a large mutant bird. With quick thinking, she ditches Lewa and takes mount on the creature. The Twilit Carrier Kargarok was now at her command.*

Midna: Let's use this thing to go upstream, Lewa. We can cover more ground this way. *Without any hesitation, she orders the strange bird who sounds like a dying car horn to violently grab Lewa.*

Lewa: You better not scratch my armor!

Midna: The armor you only have as a Toa?

Lewa: Oh, yeah.

Midna: Let's take this guy up the riverbed. That ought to be more fun and easy than climbing it ourselves.

*So Midna uses the bird-thing to fly through the cave, avoiding the archers who are firing at them and using the bird to take them out. Eventually, the make it to the upper river district where Lewa discovers some more insects with his senses, as well as the spirit of Foxxy Cleopatra moping around outside of a small hut sort of location.*

Iza: It's so cold out here… I miss my sweater.

Lewa: I told you sweaters were important, Midna.

Midna: Quiet, you. We need to make haste. We can't do anything to help her right now until we restore light to this area.

Iza: There's no point to all this. My business is a bust with the water being gone and all. And why is it so could up here??

*Seeing as there wasn't much else to do, the two move forward and they make it into the Great Temple area, which is completely frozen over.*

Lewa: You know, my father mentioned something about this place being wide-frozen once before.

Midna: Where is your father?

Lewa: He was dragged off to the Happy Farm… somewhat like my grandfather. According to him, anyway.

Midna, sarcastic: I can't imagine why.

Lewa: Where is everyone? It's so cold-quiet here.

Midna: Try your senses and see if we find out anything.

*Lewa does that, and within the frozen ice around them, there are Toa, Glatorian, and pretty much everybody just trapped inside.*

Lewa: By Mata Nui's pointy shoulders…

Midna: Now this is spooky, and I've seen a lot of stuff. But at least now we know what happened to all the water. Now we just have to find a way to get this place unfrozen.

Lewa: Wait… my brain is working!

Midna: You have a brain?

Lewa: Work with me. That evil meteor back in the Onu-Metru and New Ta-Metru area…

Midna: I still don't even know how you all took half of Ta-Metru and stuck it in between Onu-Metru and Ko-Metru…

Lewa: What if we quick warped the meteor here and dropped it, warm-thawing the entire area?

Midna: Before you do that, think first… The meteor is huge. And it talks. And it has one eye. And it wants brains. And it sings. This place is smaller and surrounded by so much ice.

Lewa: You're right, let's do it!

Midna: You totally did not listen to a word I said.

*So on the Death Mountain trail, Midna warps Lewa to the meteor as he wanted, but very reluctantly.*

Midna: Okay, last chance here. Think about what you are about to do here.

Lewa: I did. I'm going to be there Toa-hero that saved Ga-Metru.

Midna: All right, but if something goes wrong, don't say I didn't warn you…

Meteor: Go down to your neighbor's place. See the dull expression on his face. You'd be doing him a favor if you brought him to me. He ain't using his brain, he's just watching TV.

Midna: As catchy as his song is…

*Midna uses her powers to lift the evil meteor from the ground, send it skyward into the portal and off they went, back to Ga-Metru's Great Temple area.*

Lewa: Okay, a little to the left… a little forward… okay, now drop it!

Midna: Seriously, do you want to--?

Lewa: I said drop it!

*Midna begrudgingly dropped the meteor onto the ice, and now this is where the fun begins…*

Meteor: (no longer singing) Gah! What's happening?!

*The meteor falls into the ice, melting it into water and causing a roaring tidal wave. Engulfed by water, the meteor suffers and is left to melt away.*

Meteor: Zasquat?! AAAAHHH! I'm melting, I'm melting! What a world…!

Midna: Well, I'll be darned. Here, I thought you would have nuked this place to Karzahni, but I guess I was wrong. Not only that, but you killed the evil meteor so no one can feed it brains.

Lewa: Am I a super-genius or what?

Queen Ciutella: Well done, hero…

Lewa: Who said that?!

Ciutella: Why, I did.

Lewa: Who are you?

Ciutella: I am Queen Ciutella. I came from--

Lewa: A world below?

Ciutella: Uh… no.

Lewa: Okay. So that rules out Gran Pulse.

Ciutella: Bara Magna, a place of great warriors. My husband and I were awaiting for the hero to arrive. But unfortunately my husband is no longer with us.

Lewa: Who was your husband?

*Flashback…*

Lewa (DOT): So, you see, you largely Kingship, we don't know where your daughter is…

King Krulloc: No! Not my darling Kiina! I can't survive without my darling daughter!

Navi: Should we tell him the truth?

Lewa (DOT): I don't think we should…

*Present day…*

Lewa: So your husband was a largely Kingship sort of guy?

Ciutella: Yes. But he wasn't always like that.

Lewa: Whatever. So what is it you wish of me, your Queenship?

Ciutella: Funny, you remind me of another hero my husband and I met so long ago… Well, I need for you to look out for my son. He left here before we were attacked by a strange man with a helmet and his minions. I ordered him to get help, but I fear it was too late for the both of us, and now… now I'm afraid he's lost.

Lewa: There was nothing you could have done. If he stayed here, he would have died as well.

Ciutella: Thank you… You're very sweet…

Midna, gagging: Please, someone get me a bag.

Ciutella, ignoring Midna: After you find him, I will grant you the power of surviving underwater. Your journey will take you to the Lakebed temple and I can imagine this will be of great help to you.

Lewa: Aw, but I don't like the water. I can't swim.

Ciutella: With this, that won't be a problem at all for you.

Lewa: If only I had like, some armor that could shift-change to my environment so that no climate will be my master.

Greg Farshtey: You do. But in this story, you're just too dumb to realize that you already do and don't use it.

Lewa: But where is this so-called power?

Ciutella: In the graveyard in what you call the new Ta-Metru.

Lewa: What…? I have to go into a graveyard?

Ciutella: Yeah. Is that a problem?

Lewa: Well, I mean I'm supposed to be a Toa-hero, and yet this sounds like grave robbing. So does this make me like Indiana Jones or Lara Croft?

Ciutella: I guess so. Besides, not like you're really stealing it. I'm giving you my permission.

Midna: You know, this is really fascinating, but could we please move on now? Before I start getting older?

Lewa: Fine…

*Lewa jumps into the river and it carries him down stream all the way back to where he started below the Great Bridge of Hylia.*

Lewa: That bridge isn't so great.

Midna: Whatever. Look, now we can get over there. Just climb up and we can make it to the spring.

*Lewa does so and he makes it into the spring to talk to the spirit.*

Lanayru: You. Hero. Take. Go.

Lewa: Finally, someone who understands.

*Lewa takes the vessel of light and he begins going after the insects of light. They take him all around Ga-Metru. Like behind a small shack where a scary clown man lived, up the river bed through the use of the Kargarok, Iza's business, most of the river area, and eventually he caught all but one…*

Lewa: That's all of them… I think.

Midna: Wait, there's got to be more… Hold on, let's head back over to the spring anyway and see if we missed something.

*So they went back over to the spring area, but to their surprise, they were ambushed by what seemed to be an oversized version of a twilight insect.*

Midna: Whoa!

Lewa: Well, that's just great.

*So faced with a mini-boss even before the dungeon, Lewa had to make work of the giant insect, which flew around him, taunting him. Lewa attacked whenever it made a dive for him, taking down the insect and nearly drowning it. When it capsized to the water, Lewa attacked it some more, finally defeating it and claiming the last tear of light. Taking it back to the spring, Lanayru was restored and light was returned to the area, thus Lanayru was back to his true form and Lewa back to his.*

Midna: Well, that takes care of that. Well, see you later, Toa-Hero. *With that, Midna disappears and Lanayru appears to him in his serpentine form.*

Lanayru: Thank you, chosen hero.

Lewa: All in a day's work.

Lanayru: Now then, I have to show you something.

Lewa: This isn't going to be some freak-scary vision, is it?

Lanayru: Uh… no?

Lewa: Okay.

Lanayru: All right, here we go. Just sit back, shut up, and hang onto your seat. Okay, once upon at time, there were three golden goddesses who looked like Oscars. They created the land and they brought to us three golden triangles. And… are you even listening?

Lewa: Whoa, this is crazy. *He looks over and there is Hahli.* Is this scaring you, too?

Hahli: Totally… *Lewa doesn't notice she has a bat behind her back.* I want the triangles!!!

*Hahli moves in to attack Lewa. After that, her victory is short-lived as she is hit in the back with a bat. Who is the attacker? Closer look reveals… Sephiroth?! After Hahli falls to the ground, Sephiroth gives a cold laugh.*

Sephiroth: The black materia-- I mean, the triangles will be mine. *Sephiroth then removes his face to reveal it was actually a mask, and that it was actually Lewa the whole time.*

*Lewa, dressed as Sephiroth, runs towards the Triforce, but before he can reach it, he's stopped by three dark clones.*

Dark Lewa: Ha ha ha! I told you someday I'd be back! Now it's payback time for trapping me in the Water Temple!

*He banishes Lewa to the shadow realm and seconds later, Dark Lewa was now wearing Lewa's armor and Sephiroth cosplay.*

Dark Lewa 2: Whoa, man, nice threads!

Dark Lewa 3: Yeah, man, now let's get those triangles!

Dark Lewa: Yeah, let's get our revenge!

*Before the trio could do anything, the fused shadows appear and defeat the three dark clones, thus ending the vision that to this day just doesn't make ANY SENSE TO ME!*

Lanayru: So I guess now you have an idea of what the fused shadows are, right?

Lewa, cowering in fear: I want my blankie.

Lanayru: Don't worry, it was just a vision.

Lewa: Could you have just told me instead of giving me a nightmare?! I already have nightmares! Like this one about some woman in red and black who wears a mask and murders people.

Lanayru: Uh… no, I'm not saying it.

Lewa: Saying what?

Lanayru: Saying that she was real and she almost destroyed the world. Oops.

Lewa: Mata Nui! *resumes cowering in fear.*

Lanayru: I need to think before I talk.

Edited by ShadowBionics, Nov 21 2012 - 12:07 AM.

[Meta Nuva]

I'm guessing that the Glatorian are custom?

Well, it works anyway. But wait...didn't the Kagarok have to be fought first?

Doesn't matter. I hated that battle .

Good chappy.

~MN~

[ShadowBionics]

Yes. Yes they are. I wasn't going to use them in that unfinished story, so I figured I might as well recycle them somehow. And you're going to notice a trend in certain battles. If I skip it from the actual game, it means I found the fight uninteresting and/or I just plain out hated it.

Here is chapter 13. One more before one of my favorite chapters in the story. So this one is going to be kind of slow since this is just building up to chapter 14.



*After seeing the vision from Lanayru, Lewa decides to eventually go and check on on Hahli. Eventually. He was somewhat curious about Lake Hylia and its people, so he took the time to go around and see. Meanwhile, unknowingly to Lewa, Midna had her own plan in action…*

Fyer: Hey, there, guy.

Lewa, fear: CLOWN!

Fyer: Whoa, there, guy. I don't do that thing anymore. I left the circus to start up my own business.

Lewa: Really? What business is that?

Fyer: I shoot people out of a cannon.

Lewa: Uh… that's… interesting.

Fyer: How about it, guy? Want to have a go? 20 rupees.

Lewa: What have I got to lose?

Fyer: That's the spirit. Just step inside here and you'll have the ride of your life.

*Lewa steps behind the door, which promptly shuts. After that, Fyer begins a-peddling his whatcamahoozit contraption with the scary circus music, and from the shack's roof comes a large cannon. The cannon rotates around and then it fires Lewa like a cannonball out of sight.*

*Sometime after, he lands in a small housing of some sort full of chickens. He looks around and sees another clown guy.*

Lewa, fear: CLOWN!

Falbi: HAI.

Lewa: Get away from me!

Falbi: I run a business here.

Lewa: Who gave all these clowns a business?

Falbi: Take a cucco and fly over to the Isle of Riches over there. Only 30 rupees.

Lewa, with a cucco: The sword on my back says I do this for free.

Falbi: Uh…

*Later that day…*

Lewa: Okay, now to find Hahli. Where am I again?

*Before he could figure it out, he finds himself attacked by a familiar golden wolf and then transported to a familiar looking realm with a familiar looking skeleton guy.*

Hero's Shade: This time, I just decided to find you.

Lewa: That's… convenient.

Hero's Shade: Yes. In my days, I was like you. Then again, I had Navi who did a lot of speak-teaching at me.

Lewa: I don't know what a Navi is, so can we move on?

Hero's Shade: Oh, yes. First, let's review the Shield attack.

*Lewa bashes the old adventurer with his shield, and then attacks him with a few slashes.*

Hero's Shade: Excellent. You've learned well. Now for the next skill. The Back slice. Let it be hewn into your mind.

Lewa: Cool. How does that one work?

Hero's Shade: As before, focus on your target. Then you must roll-jump over to their side to get behind them. After that, attack them with all you got.

Lewa: Like this?

*As the Hero's Shade tries to move, Lewa quickly jumps and rolls past him. Then he quickly delivers a few strikes to his back, knocking him down.*

Hero's Shade, groans: Excellent. The back slice has been passed. Take sword in hand and meet me again.

*Lewa is teleported back to where he was before and then he realizes he was somewhere at the upper part of the river bed, right where he met Iza, who was now ready to open her business again… but not before some of Zant's minions came around.*

Iza: Monsters! They're even worse than those freaky bugs! *She runs inside, leaving Lewa to face them head on. He hadn't done anything like this since long before. Making work of them and using some of the skills learned from the Hero's Shade, Lewa was able to best them.*

Lewa: They weren't so tough.

Iza: Wow… those were some sharp moves you had out there.

Lewa: Ah, it was nothing. Just all in a day's work.

Iza: Hey, why don't you step inside my cabin over here? I run a business like my brother and sister.

Lewa: Sure-fine. Who is your brother?

Iza: His name is Coro and he has his business in Ordon woods.

Lewa: I think I've met him before… And your sister?

Iza: She's got a fishing thing going on. Her name's Hena.

Lewa: All right. So what kind of business do you have?

Iza: I rent boats. Well, I used to. See, thing is a rockfall just closed up the route and now my business is sunk.

Lewa: Why don't I help you out?

Iza: You'd do that?

Lewa: Sure. Why not?

Iza: Thanks, you just saved my business. Why don't I just give you this bomb bag here? In fact, you can even keep it when you're done. Just take care of those rocks so the river can be opened again. Take this boat over here. If you got a bow, you can make bomb arrows.

Lewa: Yeah, and I still don't understand how that's possible.

*Lewa gets into the boat and begins to make work of the rocks, blasting them away and slowly getting the river open again. In no time, he clears the river and makes it to Lake Hylia once more.*

Tarix: Thank you for your patronage. I'll just take this boat back up the river now.

Lewa: Are you like her assistant?

Tarix: You can think of it that way. Good going out there.

*Later on, Lewa discovers Hena's place of business. He steps inside and he get a big surprise in the form of a cute girl who.*

Hena: Why, hello there.

Lewa: Uh…

Hena: *giggles* So, what can I do for you?

Lewa: I'm… new around here and…

Hena: Why, pleased to meet you. I'm Hena.

Lewa: Yeah. I've met your brother and sister.

Hena: Really? Wow. So then you probably know about my little fishing business. You know, it runs in our family.

*Lewa walks over to a wall of pictures, and sure enough he sees Coro, Iza, and Hena, each holding up their best catches. Then he sees someone else.*

Lewa: Who is this?

*flashback…*

Lewa (DOT): Hey, there, king itchy!

Fisherman: Please don't call me that…

*end flashback*

Hena: That's one of our ancestors. He's said to be one of the greatest fisherman of his time. He also was said to have a big itching problem… *Hena gives her head a scratch while Lewa isn't looking.*

Lewa: All right. Is that your boat over there?

Hena: Oh, yes. But I only use it whenever I go out to the river with my boyfriend.

Lewa: Who is he?

Hena: I don't have one…

*And I'm going to cut the scene here because… well, I'm the writer and that makes me the man. Five minutes!*

*Lewa eventually begins to make his way to the town again, when he spots a bug. Hello bug. It was a gold and glowing stag beetle, so Lewa took it for himself. Traveling a little further, he finds yet another stag beetle of the same attributes, so as before he takes it for himself. While he was on his journey, he was met with a familiar…*

The Postman: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

*The scary postman is running towards Lewa and boy does he look scary.*

The Postman: So, Mr. Lewa, how have you been enjoying your mail?

Lewa: I haven't. Now hurry-move, I'm on a schedule. I've done nothing to contribute to the plot yet.

The Postman: Okay, here is your letter. Now I'm off. *He runs off again and Lewa just shakes his head in shame.*

Lewa: What a weird-freak.

*Lewa eventually makes it into the market place, which is once more full of life instead of being full of spirits. Lewa however, kind of forgot where the bar was, so he looks around and eventually spots a house. He goes inside, and gets a big surprise. You might say this house could make a Le-Matoran proud. Trees and shrubbery grew all around and it looked like a miniature forest. Then he looked over and saw a young Matoran girl.*

Agitha: Oh, you startled me. I thought you were a giant grasshopper. But you're not, you're a Toa. Still, you're dressed in emerald armor, so that tells me you like bugs, too.

Lewa: Oh. Hello. Well, you know… Anyway, I was looking for a--

Agitha: Welcome to my bug kingdom!

Lewa: Bug kingdom?

Agitha: Yes. All for my lovely subjects and me to live in.

Lewa: Not to sound rude, but where are they?

Agitha, sighs: I'm not sure. I invited them all to a royal ball, but it looks like they all got lost along the way. I don't know what to do. I wish I could find them all.

*Lewa reaches into his pack and pulls out the bug he found earlier.*

Lewa: Is this one of them?

*Agitha squeals in delight and takes the bug up in her hands.*

Lewa: Uh…

Agitha: Li'l beetle, li'l beetle, I want to use that shiny shell as a pillow and fall asleep. You went bug hunting for me, didn't you? To be honest, I doubted you would… I guess some might consider me a poor-mannered princess.

Lewa: Aw, that's okay, I don't think that.

Agitha: From now on, if you bring me insects, I'll share my happiness with you. And you can keep that in this.

*With that, Lewa gets a bigger wallet, meaning he could now hold more money.*

Agitha: I wonder if there's a partner for my li'l stag beetle somewhere close by where you this one.

Lewa: As a matter of fact…

Agitha: You've brought me a pair!

*With that, she pays Lewa twice as she would have regularly paid him. Happy, Agitha thanks him and reminds him to find the other 22 bugs. Lewa leaves and he eventually finds his way to the bar, where he meets THE DOCTOR.*

Dr. Strakk: When do I get paid?

Hahli: Please help this young man!

Dr. Strakk: Not until I get paid.

*Strakk leaves in a huff, but not before glaring at Lewa as he exits.*

Dr. Strakk: Who you staring at, snack shack? You going to pay me?

Lewa: No.

Dr. Strakk: Then what good are you? *He leaves angrily out the door. Hahli rushes after him, but she's too late.*

Lewa: Hey, Hahli.

Hahli:… *She turns away and goes back over to the mysterious young man.*

Lewa: What gives? Well, fine, I didn't want to speak-talk to you either.

Gali: Don't worry, no name, I am sure things will be all right.

Hahli: That doctor's a real creep!

Gali: Yes. Yes, he is. But I just remembered something. There's a guy in New Ta-Metru who could help us. He owns a hotel/carnival and he also practices as a doctor.

Hahli: Really?! We must go there!

Guard 9: And don't worry, ladies, we shall escort you there!

*The other guards wave their spears and give loud, victorious battle cries.*

Gali: See? I'm sure they'll keep us safe from the monsters out there.

*Moment she says that, all the guards suddenly disappear, leaving only Lewa.*

Gali: You stupid guards aren't allowed in here anymore!

Hahli: It's hopeless.

Gali: Wait a minute, I see we have a young swordsman over there who didn't leave like some yellow bellied whelp.

Lewa: Me? Yeah, I'll help you.

Gali: Well, then, thank you there, handsome.

Lewa: Um…

Hahli: Let's load everything up to go to New Ta-Metru! *She runs out the back and readies the wagon.*

Gali: Poor, no name. She's doing everything she can for this one, yet she doesn't even know who she is. I feel as though you know her, don't you?

Lewa: Yeah. But she just ignored me. Very rude-mean of her.

Gali: Well, whatever the case, looks like she doesn't even remember who she is right now.

Lewa: Who is this?

Gali: I am not very sure. I think he is a Glatorian prince. He could possibly be Prince Khilro.

Lewa: Son of Queen Ciutella…?

Gali: Hey, how'd you know who the queen was?

Lewa: I… read up on my history.

Gali: All right. And speaking of history, my bar has quite a history. It has a secret passageway that leads to the Coliseum, you know.

Lewa: Really?

Gali: Yeah. Just don't tell anyone. You're the only one I've ever told.

*So one uneventful trip to New Ta-Metru later, Lewa and Epona escorted the wagon driven by Gali to Tahu's hotel/carnival. Tahu went out and greeted them as the group took Prince Khilro to a room.*

Tahu: Thank goodness you brought him here in time.

Hahli: Yeah, the doctor over there refused to do anything until we gave him money.

Tahu: He's a quack. But don't worry now, things will be better soon.

*Tahu walks over to Lewa.*

Tahu: So this is the mayor's daughter.

Lewa: Yeah, but she doesn't have a clue who she is.

Tahu: Not sure what to tell you there. One idea I have where we just take a big rock and then--

Lewa: I didn't say hurt her, I just want her memory restored.

Tahu: But that would restore her memory. Oh, well. Then I am out of ideas. I'm just going to go walking around the town.

Lewa: In the middle of the night?

Tahu: Is there not a better time? *Tahu steps out of the hotel/carnival and begins his evening walk.*

Kopaka: I'd better go and follow him, in case he gives into the pyromania part of his mind.

Gali: I'll go ahead and do that for you, so you just stay here in case someone needs anything.

*Gali then walks out and joins Tahu. Now let the Tahu x Gali shipping begin. Have fun.*

*Lewa walked out as well, but as he did, the spirit of Queen Ciutella appeared to him. Entranced, he tried to approach her, but she moved back. He tried again and she moved still.*

Ciutella: Follow me, young hero.

*And thus the Deku butler/ Dampe race began. Lewa followed her into the Ta-Metru graveyard. Interestingly he noticed a grave stone marked for "Tahu I." Passing by it, he saw her pass through a wall. Unsure of how to get through, he took out his trusty Midak skyblaster that has been absent for nearly most of the series and blasted the wall down. I guess he wanted to save the bombs for later. Once there, he sees a lone grave stone on a lonely island.*

Ciutella: This is the grave site for the royal family. My husband left some special armor here for the chosen hero, if he would ever need it. I wish for you to have it. He would have been honored to meet you.

*So Lewa makes his way and looks behind the grave stone and discover a box. Taking what was inside, he now had some scaly blue armor.*

Lewa: So I can breathe underwater and not drown-die now?

Ciutella: That is correct.

Lewa: All right, sounds good.

*With that, Midna appears to him.*

Midna: Lewa.

Lewa: Midna! Where have you been?

Midna: I'm tired of watching you run around and talking to people and treating this as a filler episode. So while you were talking to the girl at the fishing place, I broke into the Lakebed Temple, beat the miniboss, got you the clawshot, and stole the boss key.

Lewa: Can you do that?

Midna: Who cares? I'm tired of waiting for you. Now, I'm going to teleport you to the boss room so we can get that last part of the fused shadow.

*Midna forcibly teleports Lewa into the Lakebed Temple's boss room.*

Lewa: I'm not sure this is the right way--

Midna: I don't care, just open that door like a good little whipping boy and get in there. You're going to fight a boss. You're going to beat the boss. You're going to hand over the last fused shadow and we are going to defeat Lord Helmet.

Lewa: He must be getting ready to challenge us…

*Elsewhere…*

Zant, throws his hands up in the air: I LOVE CARLY RAE JEPSEN!

Edited by ShadowBionics, Nov 21 2012 - 12:18 AM.

[ShadowBionics]

Chapter 14, a chapter I was looking forward to writing for a long time. Since the start of the series, I wanted Zant to be this crazy nutjob who obviously shouldn't be out by himself, and this chapter kind of demonstrates that. Be though as it may, this chapter might be kind of thematic in some points, so some caution is advised.


*After goofing off for what seemed like a filler chapter, Lewa finally made it to the end of the Lakebed Temple (although it was Midna who completed a majority of it on her own). And now all that was left for him to do was to fight the boss. With his water armor and his iron boots and claw shot, he made is way down to the bottom of the sea floor.*

Midna: Stay on your guard, Lewa. This fight could be tough.

Lewa: I doubt it. If I learned anything, it's that what might seem innovative and cool will be a huge let down. This boss should be no exception. It might be like some tiny little eel or something.

*Lewa gets down there and he sees some weird kind of appendage with an eye at the end. And then other similar ones rose from the ground.*

Lewa: Well, this is… interesting…

*Clawshotting the eyes a few times, it looked like Lewa triumphed at first, but then a giant eel came out of the ground, letting out an animalistic cry.*

Lewa: That's a big eel…

Morpheel: Well, I hope no one attacks my eye. That's right there. On my back. With all the arrows pointing at it.

*Sure enough, there are big neon arrows and signs that read things like "attack here!" and "over here, stupid!"*

Midna: Lewa, stop gazing at the abyss and attack his obvious weakspot!

Lewa: All right then. *Lewa swims over to him and clawshots his eye, bringing him closer. Then he starts to slash at his eye repeatedly until Morpheel throws him off.*

Morpheel: Oh, no, I'm blind. I can't see. *With that, he crashes into a wall, causing him a painful and terrible death. In doing so, he also begins to drain all the water that was in the chamber.*

Lewa: Okay… so I didn't kill him. It was him losing spin-control and slam-crashing into the wall.

Midna: It doesn't matter, we beat him.

*With that, Lewa is presented with the last piece of the fused shadow.*

Midna, snatching it: You know the drill, Lewa. Well, now I can finally defeat Lord Helmet.

Lewa: Yeah, and I guess it means this adventure is almost over.

Midna: I have to say it wasn't all as bad as I thought it'd be.

Lewa: Yeah, I guess so. Well, let's go into the magic exit and make our way to Lord Helmet.

Midna: Okay, but the way to Lord Helmet isn't as easy as you might think it is. I'll explain it to you on the way.

*Midna goes over and creates a portal out. She then turns around and sees that Lewa was back in his regular armor again.*

Midna: Whoa! How did you change clothes so quickly?

Lewa: Does it really matter?

Midna: I guess not.

*And so they enter the portal and end up at the Lanayru Spring. Lewa starts to make his way out when he suddenly finds himself face-to-face with the villainous Lord Helmet. AKA Zant. Intimidated by his respirator and deep, powerful voice, Lewa stumbles back. Zant didn't even move at all.*

Zant: Hello there, Hero. At last we meet.

*Suddenly, Lanayru rises from the water, ready to attack.*

Lanayru: Don't worry, Lewa, I'll protect you.

Zant, not scared: Oh, dear, a light spirit. Whatever shall I do?

*Without moving, Zant unleashes a dark attack that takes out both Lewa and Lanayru instantly.*

Zant: Surprise gust attack!

Lanayru: I've been instantly defeated!

Zant: Time to enter… The Zone where Normal Things Don't Happen Very Often.

*As if by magic (and it was), the area is plunged into the twilight. Lewa turns into a wolf, and Midna is forced to show her true self to Zant. Using his dark powers, Zant lifts Midna up and immobilizes her. Like a pixie.*

Zant: Midna.

Midna: Lord Helmet. Only you could be so bold.

Zant: That's not my name, and you KNOW IT.

Midna: Stop whining.

Zant: Let's see you change your attitude once I have THESE!

*He steals the fused shadows from Midna, now making all the hard work she and Lewa did for naught.*

Midna: Hey! What are you doing?!

Zant: Foolish, Midna, did you think you could really defeat me with such toys? Face it Midna, you're always second-best next to me.

Midna: You're insane.

Zant: Best be careful, Midna. I have you out-numbered.

Midna: Are you blind? There's two of us and one of you.

Zant: That's where you're wrong. It's the two of you versus me and my multiple personalities! You tell her, Zant! Hey, get back into my head! No, you get back into my head! We both have the same head, you moron! Hey, stop fighting, you two. Why don't you butt out?! Hey, don't be mean to him! (womanly voice) Zant, dear, dinner is almost ready. (normal voice) Mother, please, I'm in the middle of fighting Midna! Don't you be mean to mom that way! I thought I told you to butt out of it!

Midna: Oh, dear…

Zant: Let's all sing a song from the motion picture Battleship. (singing/imitating Rihanna) You sank my ship in a hopeless place. You sank my ship in a hopeless place. You sank my ship in a hopeless place. You sank my ship in a hopeless place. Bravo! Thank you, thank you, you're too kind!

Midna: I don't know if that was really funny or really terrifying.

Zant: Be terrified, my dear. Now that I've taken the fused shadows off your hands, I will return you to the light world where you will soon die a slow and painful death. However, if you join me, then your life shall be spared.

Midna: Join you?! After you killed our king, enslaved our people, made me vertically challenged, and took over the kingdom. Never! I'll never joined you!

Zant: You never even knew what happened to your father.

Midna: I just said so. You killed him.

Zant: No, Midna. I am your father.

Midna: What? No, you're not.

Zant: Sorry, that was one of my other personalities talking. Besides, I know I'm not. Anyways, you should consider joining me.

Midna: My answer is still no. I won't join you.

Zant: In that case, before I send you to your demise, let me impart you with this final message…

*He pulls Midna closer to him. He then puts her face near his… Oh, boy.*

Zant: Just think about how these light-dwellers have treated us. How they've forgotten all about us. How they've abused and neglected us. How they've used our home as a prison for criminals they are too weak to deal with themselves! And you're going to help them, Midna. I can't understand that. Midna, I'm on your side. Together, we could put them all in their place. Just imagine it. Such a beautiful and wonderful world it would be, just the both of us. We can give the Zone where Normal Things Don't Happen Very Often the respect it deserves!

*Zant then retracts the lower part of his mask, revealing his mouth.*

Zant, slightly higher-pitched voice: Midna… I need you…

Midna: What's the deal with your voice?

Zant: Don't you know? Helmets make voices sound deeper. It's a fact.

Midna: No, aside from that. Your normal voice didn't sound that way before.

Zant: My spirit guide told me to devour helium to make to smarter. What do you say about my offer now?

Midna: I say you're a creepy weirdo and your helmet is stupid.

Zant: Wrong answer!

*He slams Midna to the ground out of anger.*

Zant: As for you, Hero…

Lewa, wakes up: Hey, someone's talking to me.

Zant: I'm going to use my dark magic to create this deadly glow-in-the-dark baseball. With this, I will--

Lewa: Shiny! *He jumps right into it, causing him deep harm, and allowing a curse Zant was about to place on him (had Lewa not interrupted him while he was talking, he would have said that) to take hold of him.*

Zant: Wow. I didn't actually think you'd jump into that. Well, works for me.

Lewa: What's this dark crystal thing?!

Zant: I hope you like being a dog, Hero, because now you're going to be a dog forever! Now for you, Midna.

*He uses his dark magic to lift Midna back up. She struggled and kicked as Zant got Lanayru back up. The attack Lanayru was about to use to attack Zant was now aimed at Midna, thus causing her very painful damage. In a matter of moments, she was gone, as was Lanayru for the time being.*

Zant: Now, for you, Hero. It would be foolish to say, so you might as well…

*Zant turns around to see that Lewa was gone.*

Lewa, from far away: Way ahead of you, buddy.

Zant: Wow, what a wimp.

[Meta Nuva]

Zant is crazy. Obviously crazier in this comedy, but man, was he wild in his final boss part.

And wow, is Link Lewa dumber than I thought he was. Owell.

Good chappy, and the last one too. Although I really don't get the ending of the latter.

~MN~

[ShadowBionics]

All I can say about Zant in this comedy is... you haven't seen anything yet. This is only my second favorite chapter of the whole story. My favorite one shows Zant at his finest.

Lewa does put the "Delinquent" in the title of this story.

Yeah, sorry about that. I didn't want chapter 13 to be a total waste, so I kind of had to rush it at the end. Plus I thought it'd be funny to have Midna complete a dungeon on her own.

Here is chapter 15, and not much I can really say about it. At this moment in real time, however, Twilight Delinquent is one chapter 29, so there's just one more left until it's finished. That also means we're half-way through the story.



*As Lewa ran out into the field like a big coward…*

Starscream: But sometimes cowards do survive.

*No one asked you. Besides, you get beat up by Megatron every generation. Anyways, after he ran out into the field, stuck as a wolf, Lanayru magically teleported Midna on his back.*

Lewa: What in Din's name??

Lanayru: Hero, seek the one whose fault this is and make her do something about it.

Lewa: All right. But what can she do? She just hand-gave Metru Nui to Lord Helmet.

Lanayru: Well, she might be a terrible ruler, but she might be able to still help you. Now go to her, Hero.

Lewa: Okay.

*Lewa raced all the way to the market place, but found that they didn't take too kindly to wolves. In fact, the whole guard was all up in arms to make sure Lewa stayed out. They were so focused on Lewa, that they didn't notice a red-armored yelling burn victim guy sneak in behind the back gate.*

Lewa: Now what?

Midna: I'm still dying here.

Lewa: I know! Gali mentioned some secret passage way!

*Lewa ran to her bar and walked right in the front door, which was open slightly ajar.*

Gali: Stupid animal, get out of my bar!

*Lewa and Midna were tossed back out and the door was locked. There was no way in for him now. Or was there?*

Lewa: I won't forget this!

Midna: Still dying here.

Lewa: I know that, Midna!

Runia: Hello there, Lewa.

Lewa: Who said that?

*He turned around to see it was Gali's pet cat, who until now has done nothing.*

Runia: You are much different than I remember.

Lewa: Yeah, I'm a dog again. I need to get into the Coliseum.

Runia: Yes. And sadly my silly master doesn't seem to understand.

*She makes her way and pushes out some boxes.*

Runia: Climb up here and don't get caught.

Lewa: All right…

*Lewa climbs up the boxes and into a window. There, he sees a bunch of ropes around the ceiling. With no other way to get across to the other side, Lewa uses them as tightropes. As he walks, he notices a small group of misfits below, crowded by a round table.*

Lewa: Hey, Midna, look. It's the Dorks of the Round table.

Midna: Hurry up, I'm still dying.

*Eventually, Lewa makes it into the Coliseum undetected and he makes his way over to the room where Nokama was staying in. He walks in the door and Midna collapses onto the floor.*

Lewa: Hi, dear. I'm home.

Nokama: I can tell by the fact Lewa is a wolf and Midna is dying that Lewa failed horribly in his quest to save Metru Nui.

Midna, gasping: We got the fused shadows, but Lord Helmet attacked us. He put some curse on Lewa and then he hurt me…

*Nokama approaches Lewa and holds out her hand, the Triforce of Wisdom glowing as her hand nears his head.*

Nokama: Looks like it's all in his head.

Midna: You mean Lewa is imagining all of this?

Nokama: No. What I mean is whatever is making him stuck as a wolf is in his head.

Lewa: Your Triforce lets you sense evil?

Nokama: Yes. My Triforce can do a lot of things. It can let me sense evil and allow me to think very intelligently and rationally in dire situations, for example.

Midna: Is that why Lord Helmet won?

Nokama: Be quiet, you're supposed to be dying! Anyways, and like how the Triforce of Power grants its user great strength and dark magic.

Lewa: What does mine do?

Nokama: Yours makes you better than those coward guards who don't do anything right. But anyways, to fix this curse you must go to the sacred grove to find an ancient weapon that no evil can ever touch.

Midna: Wait, before he goes, tell him about… the Mirror of Twilight.

Nokama: I don't have to tell him anything, because you're going with him.

Midna: Wait, what??

Nokama: I'm going to sacrifice myself so you can live.

Midna: No, Lewa, stop her!

Lewa, looking out the window: I wonder who the red guy sneak-breaking inside is.

Midna: Forget the red guy, he's not important! Hurry before it's…

*In a matter of moments, Nokama was gone and only her hooded cloak was left. She became one with The One.*

Midna: Lewa… Nokama just sacrificed herself to save me… She didn't have to do anything. She didn't even know me, and yet she gave her own life for mine…To think, all this time I thought you light-dwellers were selfish and stupid, but now I truly see there are those like you and Nokama who are different…

Lewa, laughing: The red guy slip-fell down the stairs.

Midna: Exactly. Now, we can't let Nokama's sacrifice be in vain. We must go to the sacred grove and get rid of this curse on you!

Lewa, sad: All right.

*So the duo left the Coliseum, but they were surprised when the moment they left, it became engulfed by some yellow crystal-like barrier. There was truly no way back inside now.*

Lewa: Who could have done this?

*Somewhere inside the Coliseum…*

Antroz: I'm back again, baby! Ha ha ha! And all it took was a bunch of manipulating and some major string-pulling, too!

*Lewa and Midna raced back to Le-Metru and made their way through the Faron woods. There, they found themselves lost in a maze-like place where the sound of a flute playing a song by a blond-haired songstress was heard echoing everywhere they went.*

Lewa: I like this song.

Midna: Stay focused, Lewa. We have to find a way to navigate through here.

*Midna's thought was interrupted when out of nowhere, some rusty robot puppet appeared to them, holding a remote and a trumpet. He laughed in a grating, raspy voice and he looked like he was thrown in the trash. He gave a sinister giggle before blowing the trumpet, summoning a bunch of other puppets like himself, except larger and floating. Lewa attacked them and continued to follow the strange little freak through the maze until he was able to defeat his minions. Then, he attacked and defeated the freak. All he did was laugh and run away.*

Remote: That was fun… let's meet again sometime.

*As he ran through, a passage opened. Victory was within reach. Lewa went through and he made his way into what seemed like the ruins of some old temple.*

Lewa: All right, now to go see what's in there.

Statue Guards: Not if we have anything to say about it.

Lewa: Darn it.

Statue: Solve our puzzle and we'll let you through.

*So roughly 10 minutes later, Lewa got them on their proper spots, allowing him to progress. It was there, a lone ray of light shone on something glimmering in the distance.*

Midna: Well, I guess this is the place.

Lewa: What is that over there?

Midna: I'm not sure. Let's go and see.

*As Lewa neared the object, the pair saw that it was no mere object, but a sword in a pedestal. It was the legendary weapon, the Blade of Evil's Bane. The Master Sword. Getting closer, the sword gave off a pulse of power, throwing Midna back. Lewa, however, held his ground and he got closer still. Then there was a bright flash of light. Midna covered her eyes until the flash went away. She was shocked when she opened her eyes to see Lewa, a Toa once more, pulling the sword from the pedestal. And no, he did not become the king of anything, either.*

Midna: The sword… accepted you as its master…

Lewa: Surprised?

Midna: Well, yeah, actually, I am.

*Midna drifts closer over to Lewa, holding the same curse Zant placed on him before.*

Lewa: You must think I'm pretty cool, right?

Midna: Don't push your luck. *She holds up the dark crystal.* This thing is what Zant put on you to turn you into the wolf. I think we can use this to our advantage, so now you can be the wolf whenever you want.

Lewa: All right!

Midna: Okay… I'm not even going to ask questions. But anyway, yeah, it's ours now to use. And you know, before… I treated you like an cool dude whipping boy. But now…

Lewa: You think I'm better?

Midna: No, I still think you're an cool dude. But I guess I shouldn't have been so harsh before. After all, I mean you are helping me defeat Lord Helmet. I have to warn you, though. The Mirror of Twilight won't be an easy place to get to. Will you still help me?

Lewa: Of course I will.

Midna: Thank you. Well, we should probably get moving. If you don't mind, I think I should resume hiding in your shadow until we defeat Lord Helmet.

Lewa: I'm sort of curious about what he's plot-scheming.

Midna: It could either be something really devious or something totally stupid, knowing him.

Lewa: How long have you known each other?

Midna: A long time, actually. You might even say we knew each other since we were younger.

Lewa: Was he always a wacky nutjob?

Midna: Yes. But he wasn't this bad before. He got worse after going to space camp.

Lewa: Space camp?

Midna: Yes. See, my father, the king, saw he was getting out of hand, so to teach him a lesson, he was sent to space camp for 1,000 hours. I felt bad for him, especially since he was scared of things like rockets and cannons. Plus the camp was on the moon.

Lewa: Wow…

Midna: When he came back, he said his Spirit Name was "Lord Helmet," and wanted everyone except for me to call him that. Plus, he went on about how his spirit guide told him to make some life changes… such as wearing that stupid helmet.

Lewa: Why do I feel like this "spirit guide" has some connection to me?

[Meta Nuva]

Statue: Solve our puzzle and we'll let you through.

*So roughly 10 minutes later, Lewa got them on their proper spots, allowing him to progress. It was there, a lone ray of light shone on something glimmering in the distance.*

I'm ashamed to say...I used a guide for that .

Lewa: I like this song.

So do I. F-A-B, F-A-B...

Oh, and is the cat a Glatorian Oc as well?

Good chappy.

~MN~

[ShadowBionics]

 

Statue: Solve our puzzle and we'll let you through.

*So roughly 10 minutes later, Lewa got them on their proper spots, allowing him to progress. It was there, a lone ray of light shone on something glimmering in the distance.*

I'm ashamed to say...I used a guide for that .

Lewa: I like this song.

So do I. F-A-B, F-A-B...

Oh, and is the cat a Glatorian Oc as well?

Good chappy.

~MN~

 

 

 

I just had to sit there for about 10 minutes. I died once, but I eventually got it after the second try. Don't worry, I needed a guide for that annoying slide puzzle in Skyward Sword's Sky Keep temple. Slide Puzzles are a bane of my existence.

 

Well, technically, that part is a reference to both DOT as well as the old ShadowBionics. You'll see what I mean... in chapter 24. Or if you read DOT. But I do like that remix of Saria's song that plays in that part. That's the only thing I do like from that segment. I'd rather not go through the Skull Kid and his demonic puppets again anytime soon.

 

No. The Runia wildcat is a rejected Rahi idea I had along with the Klang bird. Although the latter did get a MOC and a few mentions in other comedies

 

Here is chapter 16. It was around here when I really started to make the chapters longer because I didn't want the story to go on for 40+ chapters and I felt like there needed to be more story in them.

 

 

 

 

 

*With the Master Sword in hand, Lewa and Midna were making their way through the field, when Lewa was suddenly met with a familiar enemy.*

The Postman: HEEEEEEEEEEY!

Lewa: How does he find me?!

The Postman: Hey, Mr. Lewa, how have you been enjoying my letters?

Lewa: I haven't, now get away from me!

The Postman: Here is your letter. Well, now I am off again.

*As The Postman runs away, Lewa does as well, but in the opposite direction. He is cut off once more however when he encounters a familiar gold wolf that tries to bite off his head. And once again, Lewa is transported to the scary place to meet the scary skeleton man.*

Hero's Shade: So, we meet again.

Lewa: Hey… I don't know your name.

Hero's Shade: You actually do. It is as clear as your name.

Lewa: Okay…

Hero's Shade: First, let us review the Back Slice.

*Lewa focuses on the Hero's Shade, jumps to the side, rolls, and attacks him.*

Lewa: That good enough?

Hero's Shade: Yes. Now, on to the next skill, the Helm Splitter. Let it be hewn into your mind.

Lewa: How does it work?

Hero's Shade: If you're fighting against heavy-armor foes, the back slice won't do anything. So first you must stagger them with a shield attack. Then, quick-leap into the air to split into their helms.

Lewa: So something like this?

*Lewa delivers a shield attack, staggering the old spirit, and then he leaps into the air and slashing his mask with the Master Sword.*

Hero's Shade: Good… and I see you've gotten your hands on a new sword.

Lewa: Yup.

Hero's Shade: I take it you didn't become king of anything after you pulled it out, did you?

Lewa: No… why? Should I have??

Hero's Shade: No, it's just that when I-- Oh, never mind. The Helm Splitter has been learned, now go until we meet again.

Lewa: Got'cha skeleton guy.

*Lewa is transported back to the field and he makes his way to Gali's bar. After all, he wanted to give her a piece of his mind for throwing him out of the bar last night.*

Lewa: How could you toss-throw me out of your bar?!

Gali: I don't know what you are talking about. I never did such a thing.

Lewa: Don't play innocent with me! 

Gali: While you're here, there's someone I want you to meet. *She signals over to the "Dorks of the Round Table," as Lewa referred to them previously.*

Lewa: Do I have to meet them?

Gali: Yes. Yes, you do. Also, when you're done, I recommend you speak to a man by the name of Pohatu. He might be able to help you out on your journey. 

*Lewa grudgingly walks over to them. As he does so, he notices a guy wearing a helmet (no, it's not Zant/Lord Helmet) who looks familiar.*

Lewa: Hey, creep-face.

Rusl: How did you recognize me? I was wearing a helmet!

Lewa: Trust me. I know from experience helmets aren't that cool. Why are you here?

Rusl: I wanted to join the rebellion!

Lewa: So this is the Rebel Alliance?

Rusl: Not exactly. We aren't rebelling against anyone. But we thought it sounded cool.

Lewa: Whatever.

*He then goes over to a nerdy-looking guy studying a book.*

Nuju: Oh. Hello there. I'm Nuju.

Lewa: You don't get out much, do you?

Nuju, sad: No… I've spent most of my days looking through my telescope and reading these books. I've gotten very far in my research. I've just discovered there was once a city in the sky! Not only that, but people lived up there! I also learned there might still be inhabitants to this very day.

Lewa: City in the sky, huh? Sounds interesting. Let me know how that goes for you.

*After talking to Nuju, Lewa goes over to the last adventurer at the table who seemed to have something on her mind.*

Lewa: And you are…?

Nikila: I'm Nikila. I grew up in the mountains.

Lewa: Interesting…

Nikila: I had a crazy boyfriend who went insane who looked kinda like you.

Lewa: Um… okay. If you need me, I'll be far away from you.

Nikila: I'm doing some research on the Snowpeak mountains in Ko-Metru.

Lewa: That's really nice. I'll be going now.

Midna: Take you to Ga-Metru to find this Pohatu guy?

Lewa: I thought you'd never ask.

*After getting out of that place and away from the "Dorks of the Round Table," Midna warped Lewa to Ga-Metru where Pohatu was supposed to be. After walking around, Lewa spotted him on a very tall pillar. Climbing up, the Toa of air made his way to talk to the veteran Toa of stone.*

Pohatu: Ah, I had a feeling I'd be seeing you very soon.

Lewa: Gali?

Pohatu: Yes. 

Lewa: What are you doing up here?

Pohatu: I'm just looking out into Po-Metru. It's a very big desert out there, you know?

Lewa: So I've heard.

Pohatu: There's a lot of things out there, just lost in the sands of time. There's lot of rumors of some object of great power out there, too.

Lewa: When isn't it about some object of great power?

Pohatu: Yeah, but this time, it's different. I take it you want to get out there, don't you?

Lewa: Something tells me I'm going to have to anyway.

Pohatu: In that case, take this note with you. Show it to that scary clown guy who runs the cannon place.

Lewa: What will that do?

Pohatu: It's just a quick and easy way to get to the desert. Plus he owes me some favors. The way over there is blocked by boulders, too.

Lewa: Can't I just climb over them?

Pohatu: No! You have to go by cannon.

Lewa: Well, all right. I guess I can't fly over there, either.

*So Lewa makes his way back down and talks to Fyer the scary clown guy. Well, one of them, since you have the other one.*

Fyer: So what'll it be there, guy?

Lewa: HERE.

*Lewa hands over the note to Fyer, who proceeds to read it.*

Fyer: So looks like Pohatu wants me to do this for him… well, that's one less favor I owe him, then. All right, guy, step into the cannon. You know the drill by now. This is a secret option not available to the public.

Lewa: This better not dent-scratch my armor.

*Lewa steps into the cannon and Fyer gets his peddling-bike ready.*

Fyer: One Oasis flight, coming right at ya. 

*Fyer starts a-peddling and the scary circus music starts up again. The cannon rose from the roof of the shack and it rotates around, only this time in the direction of the desert. In a few short moments, Lewa was shot out of the cannon once more and sent soaring into the desert.*

Lewa: There's got to be an easier way to get here. This place is so vast-huge… I guess I'd better go.

Midna: Wait, Lewa…

*Midna shyly looks away as Lewa faces her.*

Lewa: What is it?

Midna: Before you go, there's something I want you to hear. You remember all that stuff Lanayru said about the fused shadows?

Lewa: Kind of. All that didn't make a load of sense to me.

Midna: What do you think happened to the magic users who sought the divine power?

Lewa: I didn't think about that… What happened to them?

Midna: They were banished. Chased around by angry mobs all across Metru Nui until they were banished to the Twilight Realm.

*Flashback…*

*Antroz is seen riding through the forest on fire…*

Antroz: Can we please stop showing this flashback?! It's getting really annoying and painful!!

*Another Flashback…*

*Crowds with torches and pitchforks are seen chasing the dark interlopers into the desert.*

Dark Lewa 1: Man, I hate this! I hate all of you angry mob people!

Dark Lewa 2: Yeah! I mean we only wanted the triangles!

Dark Lewa 3: Why you angry mob people always got to spoil the fun?

*End Flashback.*

Midna: Yes, so you see…It was another world entirely. It was the antithesis of Metru Nui, there the sun shines bright. It denizens became shadows that could not mingle with light.

Lewa: Oh, so that's how Zant almost killed you.

Midna: Yes, now be quiet. Don't interrupt me. Eventually, most came to call it the Twilight Realm, and from it, none could return to the world of light. Others called it The Zone Where Normal Things Don't Happen Very Often, due to the bizarre nature of the realm. They were forever doomed to live in the twilight, just mere half-shadows in the dusk of Metru Nui. This is the history of the Twili as it has been passed down from our ancestors. Do you now understand what I am?

Lewa: Um… I think I do, but I'm nervous to say it.

Midna, somewhat angered: I'm a descendant of the tribe that was banished to the Twilight Realm!

*Another Flashback, this time we look into the Twilight Realm…*

Midna, voice-over: It was a peaceful place until Zant returned from space camp and became addicted to helium and started to wear that stupid helmet of his. He started turning Twili into his army of Shadow Beasts and unleashing a dark reign of terror and stupidity.

*Zant is seen walking in front of his new army of Shadow Beasts, wearing his signature helmet and heading for the throne room.*

Zant, laughing: I'll catch you yet, my pretties. Yes, as soon as one of you is in my reach, you're gone to be mine! All mine!! *maniacal laughter.*

Midna, voice-over: It's clear to me now that he somehow gained a great evil power previously unknown to our tribe. In any case, I was sent from there and could no longer get into the Twilight Realm without his power. But that's another tale told by my people.

*end flashback…*

Midna: Although the goddesses forbade us to return to the world of light, they left one link between the light and darkness. Something called the Mirror of Twilight was passed to the protectors of Metru Nui. It's our only path to the Twilight Realm, and we must get there!

Lewa: All right. So then it's somewhere around here?

Midna: Yeah. You'll come with me, won't you?

Lewa: Yeah, of course I will.

*With that, Midna returns to his shadow as Lewa stumbles around the desert until he finds a large slab… which turns out to be part of the Bridge of Eldin!*

Lewa: Hey, Midna, I think I've seen this somewhere.

Midna: That's part of the bridge from earlier.

Lewa: Really? Then let's go send it back to where it goes.

*Taking Lewa's advice, Midna warps the piece of the bridge back over to the Bridge of Eldin, slowly placing it back to where it once was and making the structure complete once more. It just locks into place, no need to attach it back into place or anything.*

*Keeping that in mind, Lewa and Midna keep going through the desert and even taking down a Bulblin camp to get into the Arbiter's Grounds, passing through an old abandoned fortress that once belonged to some Vortixx thieves. It was in this fortress that he met with a familiar golden wolf who was linked to a familiar spirit who actually had a bit of history with this fortress. The wolf tried to bit off Lewa's head yet again, and Lewa was teleported back to that eerie realm to meet the Hero's Shade once more.*

Hero's Shade: We meet again. 

Lewa: Didn't we already meet?

Hero's Shade: Yes, but I pick up you are getting lazy. I'm going to make up for lost time. At last, the skills I have to teach have entered true secrecy, for they've been long forgotten by all except those in our bloodline. You ready?

Lewa: You bet I am.

Hero's Shade: Very well. First, let's review the previous hidden skill, the Helm Splitter.

Lewa: The one I just learned like 2 hours ago?

Hero's Shade: Yes. Don't tell me you've already forgotten, little one.

Lewa: Oh, I haven't forgotten anything.

*Lewa attacks him with his shield, and then jumps in the air and performs the helm splitter.*

Hero's Shade: Excellent. So you have been paying attention after all. All right, now I shall teach you the next hidden skill, the Mortal Draw! Let it be hewn into your mind.

Lewa: How does this one go?

Hero's Shade: The ways of the sword are known by many, but few are truly able to master it. For me, it took me a lot of trek-questing through temples and fighting Antroz and the Night Nurse mask. The mortal draw is one of those skills few can master. You must sheathe your sword and cast aside the most basic of sword skills. You must wait until your foe is upon you. Then before your enemy can see through your fool-ruse, you must quickly draw your blade.

Lewa: Couldn't that kill me?

Hero's Shade: That's why only few can master it. Otherwise anyone else is too afraid to even try it. But I am sure you can do so just fine.

*While the Hero's Shade is talking, Lewa drew out his sword, swiping it against his armor.*

Lewa: That good?

Hero's Shade: That was good, I wouldn't have done it better myself. The next hidden skill, the Mortal Draw, has been passed down. Take sword and hand and we shall meet again.

*Lewa is teleported back, this time though in front the entrance of the Arbiter's Grounds. At first, Lewa thought it'd be an easy walk through, but he was met by a familiar face instead...*

King Bulblin, swinging axe: I'm gonna kill you!

Lewa: What'd I do?!

King Bulblin: You don't remember?

*Lewa remembers back to the epic showdown on the bridge with King Bulblin who fell to his doom... something that have obviously killed him but didn't. Instead, he was missing one of his horns, that's all.*

Lewa: How are you still alive and kick-walking?

King Bulblin: That's not important, but what is important is that I won't let you in!

*Wasting no time, Lewa took advantage of how slow he was and beat him rather easily. I guess having a giant axe isn't too helpful at all. If anything, I think it took him longer to wave that thing around that it did for Lewa to swing his sword.*

King Bulblin: All right, all right. You can get through. Was it necessary for you to beat me again?

Lewa: Yeah, you wouldn't have let me pass otherwise, Mr. "I'm gonna kill you!"

*Lewa this time for real did go into the Arbiter's Grounds after King Bulblin surrendered. Eventually, after making it past a punch of quicksand traps at the entrance and using his clawshot to go to and fro, he eventually made it inside to the Arbiters grounds, where he met face to face with four ghosts.*

[ShadowBionics]

Here is chapter 17, where we hit a rather key plot point of the story. I also have some more fun writing with Zant's character. Of all the characters in this series, him and the other 1 1/2 villains are the ones I have the most fun writing about. Yeah, that's right, this story has 2 1/2 villains. More on that later when we get to it. 

 

 

 

*The four ghosts in the Arbiter's Grounds appeared out of nowhere, it seemed. They were only four floating lanterns at first, but then with those lanterns they stole the four flames keeping the door to the boss chamber open and then showed themselves. As they did so, the door sealed shut and the four ghosts fled in different directions.*

Lewa: Well, that's just cheer-happy. 

Midna: Stop your whining, Lewa.

Lewa: But really? I've got to go find those four ghouls and open the door?

*No sooner that he said that do the ghosts show up once more and start circling around him in a surprise attack.*

Lewa: What the--?

*Lewa quickly had Midna change him into the wolf and he attacked them one by one. As each one fell, a single flame returned each time to the door, thus opening it once again.*

Lewa: I'm surprised they all decided to attack me all at once. 

Midna: I guess they were just stupid, was all. Well, now that we can progress through this place, let's go on through that door.

*As Lewa enters, he sees that there's just a dead end… or was it? There was also a noticeable opening in the floor in the shape of a gear.*

Midna: Oh, that's just great. So how do we get through this place now?

Lewa: Well, since I've saved enough time taking on all those ghosts at once, I can freely explore this place and find a way to get through.

Midna: Yeah… I'd imagine if they hadn't ganged up on you, this place would take twice as long to finish.

*Lewa makes his way into a lone chamber of nothing but a sword with many ropes and scrolls tying it down.*

Lewa: I could use a sword like that. 

Midna: It's black and red and looks creepy.

Lewa: Let's see what this does. *He cuts one of the ropes with his own sword.*

Midna: What are you doing?! 

Lewa: I wanted to see what that'd do.

Midna: I'm more than sure those were all there for a reason.

Lewa: It's just one.

Midna: One too many! Look.

*After Lewa cut one of the ropes, the sword began to glow red and then it started to swing on its own once it unsheathed itself from the ground. That's when the sword's owner appeared, looking like some sort of demonic swordsman.*

Lewa: Okay, well… Here goes nothing.

*Lewa managed to shield attack him and then perform a backslice on him, defeating him and making him dissipate into black dust.*

Lewa: Wow… what a wimp. Here I thought I was in trouble.

*Lewa goes over to see the treasure he was guarding, and from it he got a geared spinner.*

Lewa: Sweet! I've always wanted one of these!

*Lewa hops on it and begins to travel across the floor.*

Lewa: Even when I'm not moving, it still goes!

Midna: Okay, enough of the games, Lewa, we really need to go take on that boss now.

Lewa, sighs: All right.

*Lewa goes back to the previously-though dead end and uses the spinner on the gear-shaped opening, turning it within the notch until the wall pulls away and reveals a winding spinner track to the boss room. Lewa uses the spinner to get across the sand traps and go up the track to the boss chamber. There, he sees nothing but sand and a skeleton that looked like it belonged to some enormous beast.*

Lewa: All right, the boss is already dead! So what now?

*Those thoughts were cut short by the sound of Zant's helium-induced laughter. Zant himself then appeared on top of the skull of the deceased monster.*

Lewa: Lord Helmet…

Zant: That's right, Hero. I am here once again to meddle in your affairs!

Lewa: I'm, so going to kill you for what you've caused in the past.

Zant: Oh, dear, I'm so scared, I'm trembling in my helmet.

Lewa: Stop with the sarcasm and let's skip to the part where I beat-smack you with your own arm.

Zant: Hmm… that simply won't do. How can we be friends if you threaten me like that?

Lewa: I never planned on being your friend. Plus you tried to kill Midna.

Zant: Really?

Lewa: Yeah, you're thinking of Nokama.

Zant: Well, then, no matter, because you see in the end I am the one who will win.

Lewa: How can you--?

Zant: Shut up, I have ultimate power now! I'm going to deal with you in a manner so bizarre and so frightening, you will beg for mercy and wish for death.

Lewa: That makes no sense.

Zant: Shut up! I have a big chair! *Zant holds up his arms, revealing his hands from his sleeves for the first time. He then begins to focus some dark energy and he creates a sword.*

Lewa: Is that Megatron's Sword?

Zant: Yes, hero? I see you recognize it.

Lewa: How do you have that?

* Zant struck the skull with the sword.*

Lewa: What did that do?

Zant: Ta-ta, hero. When you're gone, the pieces of my heart won't be missing you.

Lewa: Was that supposed to be some Avril Lavigne reference?

Zant: Shut up! I have a big chair! 

*Zant disappears from the chamber and from there, the skeleton literally roars back to life. Lewa was now face to face with the Twilit fossil Stallord, who was sending waves of undead minions to attack him. Lewa had the spinner, however, and was able to plow through them and attack Stallord's spine, which was the key to his defeat. After he did this a few more times, Stallord fell apart and his body was destroyed. His head fell into the sand.*

Lewa: That was too easy. Now where's that mirror?

*Lewa was interrupted again when the platform began to rise. As it did so, the skull of Stallord came back at him again, still animated by the sword Zant stole from Megatron and struck into the skull. The skull knocked Lewa off the platform. As he fell, he noticed spinner tracks on the chamber walls and the pillar on which the platform was. When he stopped himself from falling, he used the spinner once again to give chase to the freakish skull, going from track to track until he built up enough momentum to spin right into the skull. After doing this a few more times, the skull of Stallord was destroyed and the sword skimmed through the air, landing into the platform where it proceeded to break. You know, maybe this was one of the cheap energon knock-offs made by the Autobots. A bridge extended from the other side over to where Lewa was. There, adjacent to where the bridge was, stood a door that proceeded to open.*

Lewa: Okay, now it's over, I'm sure of it. Well, I guess it's good to know the mirror is on the other side of that door.

Midna: Yeah, that's good, Lewa. Now we can finish off this mess and defeat Lord Helmet.

Lewa: Why is he so bizarre?

Midna: I'm not even sure of it myself. After going to space camp, he just got worse.

*Lewa proceed through the door and found a statue with a spinner track and a large bell. Lewa used the clawshot to ring the bell first. By doing so, the statue began to rise from the sand to reveal it was larger than expected. With it, there were also signs of a stone slab. Lewa used the spinner to get to the top of the statue where he found a familiar gear-shaped notch. Using the spinner once more, he spun the gear and the stone slab with the mirror rose from out of the sand. The statue itself lowered back into the sand as the slab and mirror became more and more visible.*

Lewa: This doesn't look like a mirror.

Midna: That's a stone, Lewa. This is…

*To her dismay, Midna looks to see that the mirror was partially destroyed.*

Midna: The Mirror of Twilight is broken?! I'll kill that Lord Helmet!

Lewa: Well, there go my plans for the weekend. Maybe those ghost-floating guys can help us.

Fire Sage: We are the sages… sort of. Lewa, chosen hero by the goddesses, you are here to see the Mirror of Twilight.

Lewa: Thanks for the recap, but we all know why I'm here. Why are you here?

Shadow Sage: We are the guardians of the mirror to make sure the balance between this world and the Zone Where Normal Things Don't Happen Very Often remain in check.

Light Sage: We are here to tell you about why the mirror was shattered.

Lewa: Well, let me just say you're doing a lousy job.

Forest Sage: What gives you the right to insult us?

Lewa: The fact the mirror is split-shattered. The fact Zant is prance-running around. The fact you're so all-powerful and yet you do nothing and expect me to do everything for you and make it right again.

Midna: What were you doing while this was all happening?

Fire Sage: We all went out to get smoothies. We were on a break.

Midna: A break? Smoothies? You know… Lewa's right. You guys are terrible at doing your job! A squirrel can guard this better than you can!

Lewa: What excuse do you have to take a smoothie break?

Light Sage: It was very dry out here.

Lewa: Boo-hoo, I had to go through a forest, a volcano, and underwater and you didn't hear me whine-cry.

Midna: Well…

Lewa: I'm trying to make a point here! Are you at least going to own up and take responsibility?

Shadow Sage: Nope. We're going to rely on you to do all that.

Lewa: You're so lazy! If it was split-shattered, then why wasn't it destroyed completely?

Midna: Because only the true leader of the Twili can destroy it, Lewa.

Lewa: So then I take it the mirror was split-shattered into three pieces…

Lewa and Midna, both annoyed: And scattered into three other temples.

Lewa, annoyed: I figured that much. 

Spirit Sage: Well, looks like someone seems to know all about the mirror now.

Forest Sage: We're going to tell you a little story now about the mirror and how everything fell apart.

*Flashback…*

Fire Sage, voice-over: One upon a time, there was a boy and his horse. He loved that horse. They also had a friend named Mr. Wall of Fire. They were very good friends. The boy's name was Antroz. However, Antroz was a naughty boy and he roamed the land with the other members of the Brotherhood of Makuta doing evil things.

Antroz, laughing: I'm so evil, I love it!

*As he rides Nexus in an epic pose, Mr. Fiery Wall of Fire appears behind him.*

Antroz: And this time, the fire works for me now! No more getting burned! Take that!

Spirit Sage, voice-over: So it was up to us, the ones everyone calls "the sages," to execute him. Without any hesitation, Antroz was chained to a stone slab with his arms out and we were had to stab him in the chest, and that is exactly what happened. However, we accidentally used the pretend sword instead of the real one to kill him, so he didn't die. Antroz got angry. 

*The Triforce of Power glows on Antroz's hand and he stirs to life, angry and ready for revenge. He eyes over at the Water Sage, who was the one who tried to impale him.*

Shadow Sage, voice-over: Then he showed us his glow in the dark tattoo on his hand and then he broke our rubber chains. Then he rushed out and killed one of us. We stood there cowering before his might. We had no choice but to send him to The Zone Where Normal Things Don't Happen Very Often, flushing him down so he'd never be heard from again.

*End Flashback…*

*The Sages look over to the lone pillar which bore the mark of the Water Sage. Each of the six pillars had the mark of the respective sages, but this one was the only one that had no one linked to it.*

Forest Sage: We believe it is from Antroz or possibly some other force that Zant got his power from.

Lewa: And yet you did nothing…

Midna: And you sent him into the Twilight Realm?! Man, I was wrong, you're not just terrible, you're horrible and lousy and you don't deserve to do anything with your lives!

Lewa: Can you at least tell us where they are?

Fire Sage: Okay, fine, just stop making us feel bad about ourselves.

Spirit Sage: One is in a snowy mountain.

Shadow Sage: One is in a sacred grove.

Forest Sage: One is in the clouds.

Light Sage: And you've already gotten this one.

Lewa: Can we have specifics?

Fire Sage: What are we, a map? Go figure it out yourselves.

Midna: Well… the only place we know with a map is Gali's bar…

Lewa: Argh.

Sages: Good-bye, heroes.

Lewa: Yeah, good-bye you good-for-nothing lousy excuses for sages.

 

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Okay, before someone starts to wonder what's wrong with the scene of Antroz's execution in reference to the teaser I originally posted, well this scene went through some changes. The one in the chapter is what was written first. The one in the teaser was an alternate version I thought of later, and I wanted to use it. However, it wasn't fully possible to put them both together. At least, in a way I thought would make sense. So I gave the alternate one as a teaser. I like the alternate one better, to be honest. But this one was kept for the sake of plot progression and for explaining the backstory behind Antroz. As a treat, though, I'm going to include the teaser right here. So if you like that scene better like I do, here it is to read it with the actual story.

 

 

In the land of Metru Nui, there are whispers of many great legends. There are echos of a legend of a great hero who triumphed over evil and saved the land through his courage, stupidity, and sheer luck. The hero departed on a great voyage to search for a valuable friend, believing that evil to have been vanquished. He was wrong...

*Antroz is then seen riding his horse Nexus through a flaming forest.*

Antroz, screaming: Oh, Mata Nui, I'm on fire! I'm burning here! Why doesn't anyone help me?! AAAHH! Help me, I'm literally burning alive here! Please, I beg of you, help me! Someone please help me! Stop showing this flashback! It's very painful to me!

Upon returning to his own time, the young hero had the wicked burned man in black armor imprisoned before his rise to power in the land he abandoned, but was refused the opportunity to properly vanquish him. The wicked man was held trail for his heinous crimes and desires...

*Somewhere in the Po-Metru desert, the ones called "the Sages" were summoned to execute him. Unlike the sages of the timeline Lewa left behind, these Sages were only mere shadows of the ones who had yet to be awakened. All of them male and possessing a ghost-like configuration.*

*Antroz, after being found guilty, was led into the chamber where the Mirror of Twilight was held. These Sages, however, were lazy and not very bright. Antroz went along with the execution, but he would soon strike when the time was right. He allowed himself to be chained up to a rock slab with the Sages' rubber chains. He looked at them with fire in his eyes and the hatred of an ancient evil burning in his heart.*

Water Sage, brandishing sword: It's time for you to pay for your crimes, Antroz.

Antroz: Do we really need to have it be this way? Can't we all go out for a smoothie and talk it over?

Light Sage: While we do like smoothies, we can't do that. We're supposed to stab you in the chest.

Fire Sage: And then we're going to sell all your stuff to whoever wants it.

Antroz: Hmm… this simply won't do.

Forest Sage: Quit your stalling and let's get this over with.

*The Water Sage takes the sword and with one heavy, yet swift, motion, he impales Antroz with the sacred blade.*

Shadow Sage: All right, well the deed is done. Now we can go out for smoothies.

Spirit Sage: Well said.

*Sadly for them, they didn't realize how they didn't use the real sword to execute him. No… they only used the pretend sword to do the job. Antroz did not die, but he did get hurt in the chest. He slowly began to stir as the Triforce of Power glowed in his hand, granting him strength to try and break out. The sages realized too late what was going on.*

Antroz: You're going to pay dearly for that, foolish sages!

*Antroz breaks the rubber chains that held him to the stone slab and then he rushes out with a fist in front of him and he kills the Water Sage. The surviving sages could only cower in fear at the atrocity.*

Light Sage: Did he just… do a Falcon punch to kill him?!

Shadow Sage: It's Super Smash Bros. Melee all over again!

Forest Sage: What do we do?! We're too lazy to handle this guy all on our own!

*That's when they thought about where they were… the Mirror of Twilight! Without hesitation or thought, the Fire Sage activated the mirror. Antroz took the sword used to kill him, powered it up to suit his needs, and he made his way for the Sages. However, he didn't notice the Mirror of Twilight behind him. The mirror activated and opened a portal to the Twilight Realm. It then activated a vacuum and started to pull Antroz in. He tried his best to resist, but in the end the force was too much for him and he was banished into the Twilight Realm to be imprisoned for the rest of his days… at least for now, it seemed.*

*The Sages all looked over to where their fallen comrade once stood. After that, they all decided to go out for smoothies.*

Edited by ShadowBionics, Dec 05 2012 - 03:03 AM.

[ShadowBionics]

Here is chapter 18, which is where I kind of had some fun messing around with some characters, mainly Nikala and The Postman, which you can tell once you start reading. As of today, the 30th chapter of TD is finished, meaning they story is complete and thus I will be able to put all 30 chapters here. Also this and chapter 19 serve as teaser for the Skyward Sword spoof. 

 

However, what I am doing is not what really happened in Skyward Sword... at least, no one thinks so. There are fans who have had ideas for what they wanted in the game, and I agree with them and I even have my own ideas, so what you're seeing here is a few of my ideas of what I would have liked in SS, and thus an idea of what to expect in the spoof. Okay, well, here is chapter 18.

 

 

*After having dealt with Stallord, Lord Helmet, and the sages who don't do anything (see what I did there?), Lewa asked Midna to warp him back to the field so he could go to Gali's bar. When in doubt, visit the bar. However, when he did that, he was met with a horrible nightmare.*

The Postman: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!

Lewa: NOOOOOOOOO! How could he find me when I'm a wolf?!

Midna: Quick, change back!

*Lewa changes back to his Toa self as The Postman runs at him with high speed.*

The Postman: Hello, Mr. Lewa. It's me, The Postman! Have you been reading my letters?

Lewa: Thing is I wanted to, but I never got around to it.

The Postman: What do you mean?

Lewa: Well, you're a weird-freak and I think you're annoying. I don't like reading letters delivered by annoying weird-freaks.

The Postman: Oh… is that so?

*In a surprise shock, The Postman ambushes Lewa, covers his head with a brown paper bag, ties him up and drags him away, never to be seen again…*

The End

*Okay, that's not really how the story ends. It would be a shame if that's how it really did. The Postman takes Lewa to a secluded area. He takes the bag off his head and holds a knife to his face as he unties his hands.*

Lewa: Where am I?!

The Postman: It doesn't matter now, Mr. Lewa. You're going to read some of my letters now.

Lewa: Are you insane? You kidnap me just so I can read letters?

The Postman: You'd better do it… or else.

Lewa: All right, fine. 

*Lewa takes a letter, opens the envelope and holds it up to the lone light shining in his face.*

Lewa: "If I have a letter for you, I will approach you at high speed. Please do not flee." Okay, you monster, I read it. Now let me go!

The Postman: Not yet. Read another?

Lewa: Do I have to?

*The Postman holds the knife closer to Lewa's face.*

Lewa: Okay, okay! I'll read another one!

*A few hours of reading pointless letters later…*

*Lewa walks into Gali's bar, panting and gasping for breath.*

Gali: Hello there, Lewa. Where have you been?

Lewa: Gali! I was abducted by The Postman! He forced me to speak-read his letters!

Gali: Oh… you poor dear, I'm sorry to hear you went through all that pain and torment. The guys are over there talking again about saving Metru Nui. Why don't you go talk to them?

Lewa: Well, if I have to. I guess I need to anyway.

*Lewa walks over to the round table where they were all sitting at… well, some of them. Nikila and Rusl were missing. Pohatu was there, however.*

Lewa: Pohatu, where were you?! I thought you were going to the desert to help me!

Pohatu: Are you kidding? That cannon ride alone would have killed me! Plus didn't you hear what I told you before?

Lewa: Well, whatever. Where did the goth girl go? 

Nuju: I'm sure there's a city in the sky! Why won't anyone believe me?!

Lewa: You know, I don't have to talk to you. I'll just read the map.

*Lewa looks at the map to find out she's in Ko-Metru.*

Lewa: She's in the mountains. Great. Could she be where the mirror piece is?

Nuju: What mirror?

Lewa: Uh… look, it's Carly Rae Jepsen!

Nuju, happy gasp: WHERE?!

*Lewa runs away and closes the door behind him.*

Nuju, from afar: Wait a minute, she's not here.

Lewa: Get me the heck away from here, Midna.

Midna: I thought you'd never ask.

*Midna warps Lewa away. Lewa didn't specify, but as she wanted to get away as well, so she just took him to Ga-Metru so he could make his way to the mountains.*

*So from there, Lewa makes his way up the pathway to the cave to the mountains. As he went along, he noticed a few Ga-Matoran looking around all scared and sort of confused. Lewa didn't pay too much attention to them and continued on. Then at the entrance he spotted a figure covered in white fur.*

Lewa: It's bigfoot!

Midna: What are you talking about? We're in the mountains.

Lewa: So then it's the Loch Ness Monster!

Midna: You're so misguided and confused.

Lewa: Elvis?

Midna: Elvis is just a story to scare children. Look, just go over there and talk. It's not even what you think it is.

Lewa: Okay, but if I die, stay away from my funeral.

Midna: You've got it, Lewa.

*Lewa walks up to the white fur figure, who turns around to take off his head! It's Phantom Antroz!! No, wait, it's Nikila in her spirit hood.*

Nikila: Oh. Hi, Lewa. How are you doing on this depressing day?

Lewa: I'm fine, except for having to fight some giant skeleton thing.

Nikila: Do not underestimate the power of the dead.

Lewa: You're telling me. Why are you long-staring out into the mountains?

Nikila: This is where my boyfriend ran after he went crazy.

*Flashback…*

Lesovikk, going insane: I didn't kill Karzahni! I didn't kill Karzahni! I didn't kill Karzahni! 

*Lesovikk jumps into the snow head first and starts to wiggle his legs around as his gasps for breath.*

Lesovikk: Oh, hello there, Princess Rosalina. I like you. If I didn't have a girlfriend already, I'd make you my girlfriend!

*End flashback.*

Lewa: I pity you.

Nikila: The mountains have gotten colder recently, a lot like my soul.

Lewa: Yeah, the seasons are changing.

Nikila: I also saw this beast man walking around. I made this picture of him so I could show it to my art group later, but you can have this copy.

Lewa, taking it: I will treasure this with my life.

*Later in New Ta-Metru Graveyard…*

Lewa: Hey, kid, I'm looking for a recycle bin so I can stash-trash this drawing some goth girl gave me.

Prince Khilro: Oh, hello, Lewa. I was just here visiting the grave site of my mother and father. 

Lewa: Okay. So can you take this piece of paper? You can still use it for something.

Prince Khilro: Hey, isn't that the beast man of the mountains?

Lewa: You've heard of this? It appears to be so.

Prince Khilro: And is that a red fish he's holding?

Lewa: Yes, it appears to be red. 

Prince Khilro: You can only catch that fish with a rare piece of coral, like the one I wear as an earring. Here, take a look at it. Careful, my mother gave that to me.

Lewa: All right.

Prince Khilro: Can I have my coral earring back now?

Lewa: What coral earring?

[awkward pause]

Prince Khilro: That's low.

Lewa: I need to save the world!

Prince Khilro: Oh. In that case, I'll let you have it.

*Lewa exited the grave yard, only to meet a familiar golden wolf who tries to bite off his head. Lewa is teleported to the same place again and meets the Hero's Shade.*

Hero's Shade: So we meet again.

Lewa: We've met a bunch of times.

Hero's Shade: Yes. Now then, first let's review the Mortal Draw.

*The Hero's Shade approaches Lewa and Lewa draws his weapon, slashing him.*

Hero's Shade: Very well. Now, let the jump strike be hewn into your mind!

Lewa: So how does this one work?

Hero's Shade: The jump strike is good for many enemies in a surrounding area. To do it, you must focus your energy as always into your blade. The surge you release at the right quick-timing can hit all the enemies around you as you jump.

Lewa: So like this? *Lewa focuses his energy into the sword, and as it lets out a glint, Lewa jumps into the air and strikes the ground, knocking back the ancient warrior.*

Hero's Shade: Excellent. The sixth hidden move, the jump strike, has been learned.

*So, sometime later after Lewa was teleported back to Metru Nui, Lewa decided to go fishing for that red fish. Once he got it, Midna suggested getting the scent of it so he could follow it. After all, if the beast man took these fish all the time, it was likely he would leave a scent trail. Doing so, Lewa became a wolf again and went up the mountains. Eventually, he sees the beast man and turns back to his Toa self to go and talk to him.*

Yeto: Oh. Hello there. What you doing up here?

Lewa: Apparently you've been terrorizing people.

Yeto: How you find me? You follow scent of fish?

Lewa: Sort of…

Yeto: I use fish to make soup for wife. She got sick after finding piece of mirror. You follow me?

Lewa: Well, I guess so.

*Yeto hits the tree next to him and a large piece of ice falls down. Yeto gets on and uses it as a snowboard.*

Midna: Lewa, don't let him get away. If he's talking about the mirror piece we're looking for, we can't lose him.

*Lewa hits the tree and gets a similar piece of ice and he follows Yeto through the mountains while showing off his mad snowboarding skills. Eventually, he makes it to the destination, which was a very large house…*

Midna: Here? What's with this guy? He's got a nice place… for a beast man. I wonder who lived here before.

*1,000,000,000,000 years earlier…*

Ghirahim: My mansion is a monument to my fabulousness! I hope that it doesn't get taken over by some beast man, for it'd be a crime against fabulosity! I shall hide out here until I can revive my master!

*Now…*

Midna: Well, that explains one thing… yet raises so many other questions.

Lewa: No, it doesn't. Let's go.

Midna: Are you sure the mirror shard is here?

Lewa: They said the mountains, and this is the only other place here.

Midna: Fine, but I just hope you're right.

*Lewa goes up the stairs and through the foyer where he meets Yeto's wife.*

Lewa: Oh, look, a big pillow.

Yeta: Oh, you must be who husband was talking about. You want mirror, yes?

Lewa: Yeah, that's why I'm here.

*Yeta then gives him a map of the house.*

Yeta: Here, you take this. I mark where key is.

Lewa: Key to what?

Yeta: Mirror in bedroom.

Lewa: Oh. Okay. And you're sure this is where the key is?

Yeta: Yes. I think.

Lewa: Better than nothing.

*Turns out Lewa actually went to the kitchen, where he meets with Yeto and Ooccoo.*

Lewa: Why do I keep meeting you?

Ooccoo: Well, you left me in the Arbiter's Grounds and in the Lakebed Temple.

Lewa: Okay, sorry I asked. Did you need me to save you?

Ooccoo: Yes! I can't get out of jars by myself.

Lewa: Fine…

*Lewa takes Ooccoo again, although not as annoyed as before.*

Yeto: Me making soup. You want any?

Lewa: No, not now.

*Lewa goes in the right direction, meets some skelly things made of ice, and makes it to the location marked on the map.*

Lewa: Okay, time to get this key and…

*Lewa opens the chest and gets the pumpkin in return.*

Lewa: This isn't a key. It's a pumpkin.

Midna: She got the wrong location. Let's go knock some sense into her.

Lewa: You don't have to tell me.

*Later on.*

Lewa: Hey, Yeto, I sought-found this pumpkin and I don't want it.

Yeto: You got pumpkin? You give to me!

*Yeto knocks down Lewa and takes the pumpkin from him.*

Lewa: What is wrong with you?!

Yeto: I add it to soup and now it taste better. You try?

Lewa: No! I'm going to talk to your wife.

*The next room.*

Lewa: Why was there a pumpkin and not a key?!

Yeta: Oh. Pumpkin. Check this room here.

Lewa: I've got a bad feeling about this…

Edited by ShadowBionics, Dec 05 2012 - 11:20 PM.

[Meta Nuva]

Sorry it took so long for me to reply. School, and everything else= BUSY.

 

Ch. 16:

 

I didn't even recognize Rusl until he took off the helmet. He'd been really really far in the back of my mind.

 

But the Dorks of the Round Table...Nuju=Shad, Nikila=the girl , Pohatu=the other guy. Brilliant matchups there.

 

But King Bulbin doesn't speak until Hyrule Castle...owell.

 

Ch. 17:

 

Zant is crazy. Absolutely, insanely nuts.

 

The Sages are really lazy, though. And why they no take me out for smoothies too? Owell.

 

And I like this new scene better.

 

Ch. 18:

 

Postman is creepy. Exactly how did he know LinkLewa when he was a wolf? And then killed himmade him read all the letters with a knife at his throat?

 

"Midna: Elvis is just a story to scare children. Look, just go over there and talk. It's not even what you think it is."

 

Well...then...

 

Wait, Snowpeak Ruins=Ghirahim's mansion? Weird...

 

And Yetis are hilarious. KUTGW.

 

~LTT~

[Toa Zehvor MT]

Next stop on MT's comedy review train is here, and it took me a while to get through all of this, which made me feel some form of pity for people who ever attempt to get into the incredibly tangled web of backstory and literally hundreds of chapters that make up the story of the TBTTRAH Series. But oh well. Here's some thoughts.

 

For starters, it definitely helped that I played Twilight Princess. Did it help that TP is quite possibly my least favorite console 3D Zelda? Meh, probably not. But at any rate that's off topic, so here's my actual opinion.

 

For starters, this is obviously way too late to implement, and it's a bit of a nitpick, but since it's a parody of TP, if you're going to change the name of the main character, you might as well throw in a bit of creativity and change the names of all of them. Sticking Lewa into the world of Twilight Princess and letting him run free and interact with the characters of the Zelda world is an interesting concept, but this comedy appears to be more of a "Lewa replaces Link and basically follows the same plot as TP." In that regard, I think it could have helped mix things up if some of the characters had been changed around into other Bionicles; say, for example, instead of the two Yetis in Snowpeak, you could have Nocturn and Gadunka. Just a thought. 

 

(This is more of a nitpick than a real complaint because there are, of course, some characters renamed, but not all)

 

The jokes poking fun at TP's logical inconsistencies(such as how in the world Ooccoo manages to get from temple to temple, and how the sages are incredibly lazy) are pretty funny, and probably my favorite part of the comedy. For that, I give a thumbs up.

 

Outside of that, though...I was kind of confused for quite a bit of the comedy. Now, of course, TP is in and of itself an epic, so I'm not by any means expecting jokes every single step of the way, but quite a few of the situations that appeared to be trying to give off some humor don't really seem to make sense. For example:

 

 

 

Prince Khilro: You can only catch that fish with a rare piece of coral, like the one I wear as an earring. Here, take a look at it. Careful, my mother gave that to me.

Lewa: All right.

Prince Khilro: Can I have my coral earring back now?

Lewa: What coral earring?

[awkward pause]

Prince Khilro: That's low.

 

...maybe it's because I just haven't played Twilight Princess in a year or so, but I don't...really...get...this at all. Asking for his earring back all of a sudden, and then Lewa pretending he doesn't have it is "low?" Is it a low blow because he doesn't have ears? What makes this a "low blow?"

 

My other main complaint would be the lack of any form of scene transition. Lewa continually bounces from one area to another, going from Kakariko, to learning a sword technique, to Snowpeak, in the span of 15 or so lines. The issue with that is it leads to some rather jarring changes in locale as well as never giving the scene any time to develop any sort of real jokes or humor, especially when so much of the comedy is devoted to following the plot of TP so closely. Perhaps covering one area a bit more in-depth-ly, and sacrificing some additional element, might help with that.

 

At any rate, those are my opinions, take them or leave them for whatever they're worth. I look forward to the Skyward Sword parody(you should have a field day with Fi).

 

-MT

[ShadowBionics]

Next stop on MT's comedy review train is here, and it took me a while to get through all of this, which made me feel some form of pity for people who ever attempt to get into the incredibly tangled web of backstory and literally hundreds of chapters that make up the story of the TBTTRAH Series. But oh well. Here's some thoughts.

 

For starters, it definitely helped that I played Twilight Princess. Did it help that TP is quite possibly my least favorite console 3D Zelda? Meh, probably not. But at any rate that's off topic, so here's my actual opinion.

 

For starters, this is obviously way too late to implement, and it's a bit of a nitpick, but since it's a parody of TP, if you're going to change the name of the main character, you might as well throw in a bit of creativity and change the names of all of them. Sticking Lewa into the world of Twilight Princess and letting him run free and interact with the characters of the Zelda world is an interesting concept, but this comedy appears to be more of a "Lewa replaces Link and basically follows the same plot as TP." In that regard, I think it could have helped mix things up if some of the characters had been changed around into other Bionicles; say, for example, instead of the two Yetis in Snowpeak, you could have Nocturn and Gadunka. Just a thought. 

 

(This is more of a nitpick than a real complaint because there are, of course, some characters renamed, but not all)

 

The jokes poking fun at TP's logical inconsistencies(such as how in the world Ooccoo manages to get from temple to temple, and how the sages are incredibly lazy) are pretty funny, and probably my favorite part of the comedy. For that, I give a thumbs up.

 

Outside of that, though...I was kind of confused for quite a bit of the comedy. Now, of course, TP is in and of itself an epic, so I'm not by any means expecting jokes every single step of the way, but quite a few of the situations that appeared to be trying to give off some humor don't really seem to make sense. For example:

 

 

 

Prince Khilro: You can only catch that fish with a rare piece of coral, like the one I wear as an earring. Here, take a look at it. Careful, my mother gave that to me.

Lewa: All right.

Prince Khilro: Can I have my coral earring back now?

Lewa: What coral earring?

[awkward pause]

Prince Khilro: That's low.

 

...maybe it's because I just haven't played Twilight Princess in a year or so, but I don't...really...get...this at all. Asking for his earring back all of a sudden, and then Lewa pretending he doesn't have it is "low?" Is it a low blow because he doesn't have ears? What makes this a "low blow?"

 

My other main complaint would be the lack of any form of scene transition. Lewa continually bounces from one area to another, going from Kakariko, to learning a sword technique, to Snowpeak, in the span of 15 or so lines. The issue with that is it leads to some rather jarring changes in locale as well as never giving the scene any time to develop any sort of real jokes or humor, especially when so much of the comedy is devoted to following the plot of TP so closely. Perhaps covering one area a bit more in-depth-ly, and sacrificing some additional element, might help with that.

 

At any rate, those are my opinions, take them or leave them for whatever they're worth. I look forward to the Skyward Sword parody(you should have a field day with Fi).

 

-MT

 

TP has a convoluted storyline that doesn't make sense at some points, even contradicting, so I wouldn't blame you got not liking it. But I figured since I started on the "Link/Child" Timeline, I'd go all the way versus jumping around between this and the "Zelda/Adult" Timeline. And I'm almost questioning tackling the "Ganon/Defeated/Decline/Downfall/Cop-Out" Timeline.

 

Yes, I probably might have, but considering how there are many NPCs in the world of Zelda, it would almost be impossible. At least, it was impossible for me in 2010, and it wasn't all that possible for me now. That's why some characters have unaltered names. I've tried to change some names and add familiar Bionicle characters everyone is familiar with, but like I mentioned in some other post, I have some characters already assigned to certain roles for other stories, so to assign them roles in this one would make things weird and maybe even throw off the rhythm of things a little. I haven't used a lot of the 2007 characters in much of anything in a while, so maybe I could have done that. Although say I used Nocturn for Yeto... what of Yeta? I suppose I could make up a female version of his species but then I don't know how it'd work. 

 

This year when I was able to sit down and really put more time into it, I tried my best to implement more Bionicle characters, even some I thought of using for canceled stories I planned out. But even then, there were still some things I couldn't find a way to change. 

 

I'm glad to hear you like those jokes that poke at the inconsistencies, those are a personal favorite if mine as well. There's a lot of things in the game that always left me asking "Why/how does that happen?" and so I used that experience in here.

 

With that one, in the actual game, the "beastman" steals reek fish from the river outside Zora's Domain, so you need the prince's earring which is made of a special coral to catch them. From there, Link must catch one, get the scent, follow the scent, and find Yeto. In here, what I was trying to do was poke fun at how he takes a prince's earring and never gives it back, after the prince lets him just take a look at it. Hence why the prince says he wants the earring back, and Lewa simply asks "What coral earring?" To which, the prince replies "That's low," because he was just letting him see it and now he's refusing to give it back, even acting like he's never even seen/heard of it.

 

Unfortunately you can kind of blame 2010 me for that. Because this comedy has taken much longer that it needed to be, I did my best to try and get as much of the story done as possible. As for the lack of scene transition, not much can be said there aside from Lewa has a large quest ahead of him and this is only an abridged version of said quest. Otherwise there's a good chance I'd be writing chapter 56 in 2014 and by then I might not even have the same kind of motivation and I'd just be so desperate to write something else. I'm not sure which elements to really go and sacrifice. Okay, perhaps some of the sidequests, yes, although I've already sacrificed quite a few. And then there's some that do play into the story near the very end, such as the sword technique ones. I'm not going to spoil it, but you will see why, and I think chapter 27 will demonstrate why.

 

Thank you for taking the time to look through the story, I'm kind of honored yet surprised you did. And yes, I'm going to have a field day with Fi. Not going to spoil it, but I've had something planned out for her ever since I played the game for myself in November/December of last year. 

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry it took so long for me to reply. School, and everything else= BUSY.

 

Ch. 16:

 

I didn't even recognize Rusl until he took off the helmet. He'd been really really far in the back of my mind.

 

But the Dorks of the Round Table...Nuju=Shad, Nikila=the girl , Pohatu=the other guy. Brilliant matchups there.

 

But King Bulbin doesn't speak until Hyrule Castle...owell.

 

Ch. 17:

 

Zant is crazy. Absolutely, insanely nuts.

 

The Sages are really lazy, though. And why they no take me out for smoothies too? Owell.

 

And I like this new scene better.

 

Ch. 18:

 

Postman is creepy. Exactly how did he know LinkLewa when he was a wolf? And then killed himmade him read all the letters with a knife at his throat?

 

"Midna: Elvis is just a story to scare children. Look, just go over there and talk. It's not even what you think it is."

 

Well...then...

 

Wait, Snowpeak Ruins=Ghirahim's mansion? Weird...

 

And Yetis are hilarious. KUTGW.

 

~LTT~

 

 

No, don't think much about it. I almost can't even get on here and post chapters due to my classes running into my time so frequently. 

 

I kind of recognized him first time, but it was after he took off his helmet that I was able to go and say "Oh, so it really was him." Before, I was like "Could that be...?"

 

Nikila= Ashei. Pohatu= Auru, and Nuju= Shad. So yeah, that's about right. The way I've always portrayed Nuju, he was a perfect fit for Shad. Pohatu, way I've portrayed him, was always this strong, sort of smart guy who has solutions for almost anything. And for Nikila... well, I just wanted to use her somewhere and I can sort of imagine her like Ashei. 

 

Yeah... much like I decided to make Zant insane from the get-go, I decided to make King Bulblin talk from the get-go, too. Mostly to help develop him a little more before I don't use him again.

 

Yup. That's partially why I like writing about Zant. He's probably the most insane character I've ever portrayed in any way. 

 

I always figured the sages were lazy. I mean, if they're so powerful, why don't they go and stop the mess they inevitably created? Why don't they even help? 

 

Well, glad you like the new scene better. I was torn between which one to put in, so I figured I'd put both scenes in the topic somehow.

 

yup. I always though he was. I'm not even sure how he could see through the wolf form.

 

Well, for this story, Ghirahim's mansion is in Snowpeak. I read about how fans wanted a snow/ice dungeon in Skyward Sword. One person suggested "something stupid, like Ghirahim's Mansion." Even though he was joking (I think) I liked that idea and I ran with it. And I'm going to run with it in the Skyward Sword one. 

 

 

Well, glad you like the story.

 

And this is chapter 19 and I have no quirks or description for this one, aside from just look at it. 

 

 

*After Yeta marked the map to where the key was supposed to be, Lewa wasted no time heading on over there so he could obtain the sharp of the Mirror of Twilight he thought to be here.*

Lewa: How does the food here stay so fresh?

Midna: Think of it this way: We're in the middle of the freezing, cold weather. So it's like a giant freezer out here. 

Lewa: So then if we're in a freezer, that's how the food stays fresh all the time, despite being locked up in treasure chests?

Midna: Pretty much. Or at least, that's just what I think. I'm mostly making this up as I go along.

Lewa: Well, so far there's nothing in this room except these two suits of armor just standing there all creepy like. Well, at least I'm almost there.

*As Lewa goes to the other side to open the door, the door is sealed off by metal bars.*

Lewa: I think Yeta is trying to kill me.

*That thought was interrupted when a ball and chain smashes through the suit of armor Lewa was standing behind. Turning around, Lewa saw that the other suit of armor was very much in use by some lunatic swinging a ball and chain around. Wasting no time, Lewa got the Master Sword ready for battle and took down the crazy lunatic and took his weapon for his own use.*

Lewa: They don't call me the hater exterminator for nothing. Now to go get that key!

*Lewa makes his way through the rooms and finds the other chest, opening it to find…*

Lewa: Cheese…

Midna: Food again?? I'm starting to get a bad feeling about this, too. She doesn't seem so sure of herself, does she?

Lewa: No. I mean, why am I sprint-running around this mansion for food??

*Sometime later…*

Lewa: Hey, Yeto, I found more food for you.

Yeto: You bring me food? You give to me!

*Yeto throws down Lewa and takes the cheese from him.*

Lewa, crying: What's wrong with you?! I would have let you have it if you only gave me the chance! 

Yeto: This soup is good. You try some?

Lewa: Fine, I'll try some, but I'm still not happy about you abusing me!

*Lewa takes up some of the soup in an empty bottle and holds it up.*

Lewa: Is this okay, mommy?

Midna: Why did you say that?

Lewa: I have no idea. *He takes a sip and turns out the soup is actually very good. He takes another bottle full and goes to talk to Yeta.*

Midna: All right, let's see what the deal is here.

Lewa: You don't have to tell me twice. Hey, Yeta? What's wrong with you?! More food?! This would have been fine last week when I wanted food, but no! I have to find this key! And why are you trying to kill me?!

Yeta: I not know what you talk about. But I sure key is right here in this room.

Lewa: Is anything going to try and kill me?

Yeta: I make no promises.

Lewa: Well, close enough.

*Lewa goes through the mansion yet again to a farther side. He goes in, and sure enough both doors on the sides lock and he finds himself face to face with a bunch of ice skelly things.*

Lewa: I think I'm going to die…

*Lewa takes the ball and chain and annihilates all of them out of fear of them and anger towards Yeta.*

Lewa: There better be a key in here, or else Yeta won't be talking for much longer…

*Lewa opens the treasure chest to get the watermelon in return. After throwing the watermelon outside the window and hitting Yeta despite the distance with it, Lewa saw another treasure chest behind the one he just opened. After opening that one, he got a key in the shape of a heart.*

Lewa: Finally… why does this look like a heart?

*So many years ago, I'm not even going to bother counting…*

Ghirahim: Yes! Yes! Isn't it just absolutely precious? My heart is just filled with rainbows on behalf of this wonderful key shape! 

*End flashback.*

Midna: It doesn't matter, Lewa. As long as it opens the door and we can get the mirror shard, then it's all good.

*Lewa exits the room to be met with Yet, covered in watermelon, waiting for him.*

Lewa: I didn't do it!

Yeta: I not you what you talk about?

Lewa: Uh… Neither do I. What are you doing here?

Yeta: I was never sick. I was just tired.

Lewa: Wait… what?

Yeta: Follow me to the bedroom.

Lewa: You're doing that awkward thing again.

Yeta: To get mirror.

Lewa: Okay, that's better.

*So after following Yeta (very slowly) to the bedroom and using the heart-shaped key to open the door, Lewa went in and sure enough, there was the mirror shard against the wall.*

Yeta: I not sure about giving mirror to you. Husband gave me it as gift.

Lewa: I already told you, I need it to save the world or else everyone will die or be enslaved by Lord Helmet.

*Suddenly, that's when Yeta was overcome by some outside force, which prompted her to lead Lewa to the mirror…*

Yeta: Okay, then…

*Yeta wobbles over to the mirror shard, Lewa following behind her. As the mentioned outside force leads Yeta to the mirror, something starts to happen to her… something very horrible… She begins to shiver and shake, and then she turns around, her fanged mouth and glowing red eyes set on Lewa.*

Blizzeta: You no take mirror!!

*That's when the mirror makes Yeta into some evil ice sorceress witch queen… thing, surrounded by ice crystals.*

Crystal King: Hey, that's my thing.

*Shut up, you're in the wrong story, you belong in that story I never finished writing. Anyways, after a long and drawn out fight where Lewa just smacks her around with the ball and chain, he obtains the mirror shard.*

Midna: Well, that's the end of that. I feel sort of bad we had to rough her up, though.

Lewa: We got the mirror shard, so let's get out of here before Yeto finds out I had to fight off his wife.

Yeto: Why is wife on the floor…?

Lewa: I can explain.

Yeto: I'm going to kill you!!!

Lewa: No, wait, let me explain! You see…

*About 10 minutes later…*

Yeto: Oh, Okay. I thought you got here, beat up wife, and stole mirror. 

Lewa: I told you I need it to save the world. Besides, you don't want to live in a world with Lord Helmet reign-controlling everyone, right?

Yeto: No. I not even know who Lord Helmet is, but he sound creepy.

*And so that's when Yeto decides to go take care of his wife, leading to there being two less lonely yetis in the world. And that's when Lewa and Midna left via magic exit. After that, he had Midna take him to Gali's bar since he had no idea where else to go.*

Lewa: Hey, Gali? Why doesn't anyone in the group ever help me?

Gali: They talk about saving the world, but they never do anything. That is why when they saw you, the decided to weigh in everything on you.

Lewa: So they literally do nothing?

Gali: Yup.

Lewa: They're just as bad as the sages!

Gali: Speaking of them, I think you need to go talk to the one who has no name.

Lewa: Where is he?

Gali: How would I know? I'm not the sages.

Lewa: Oh, they wouldn't know either. They don't know anything.

*Lewa goes over to the map at the table and figures out he is actually in the forest area. Lewa sets off to go there next, despite how much he really didn't want to meet with him.*

Rusl: Hello there, Lewa.

Lewa: Hey, there, creep-face. What are you doing here?

Rusl: Well, I figured you need to get going to that sacred grove.

Lewa: So why are you here…?

Rusl: I'm here to help.

Lewa: So the one person who wants to help me… is someone I refuse to get help from.

Rusl: Isn't life funny that way?

Lewa: Actually, no, it isn't.

Rusl: Well, here is your way through this trap-infested part of the forest. 

*Rusl whistles and out comes a Gukko bird.*

Lewa: Why does this feel familiar?

Rusl: Never mind that. Meet My Dinner.

Lewa: Your dinner?

Rusl: No, My Dinner. My Dinner will fly you through here safely.

Lewa: Well, all right.

Rusl: Make sure you bring back My Dinner. After all, that is my dinner…

Lewa: See you, crazy weirdo.

*Lewa takes off on the Gukko bird, going through all the moving logs that could easily crush someone and a whole bunch of other traps until he arrives at the sacred grove once more.*

Remote: Hello there… want to play a game?

Lewa: Hello there, you adorable psychopath. No. I just want to get to the next mirror shard.

Remote: Before you do that, how about a game? I call it… Survive my barrage of evil puppits while you try to catch me.

Lewa: … That doesn't sound fun.

Remote: It is for me. 

*He takes out a trumpet and plays a note, summoning a bunch of freakish puppets who try to kill Lewa. After Lewa destroys them, he chases after Remote, who just summons more puppets to kill him. Eventually, Lewa defeats the puppets and Remote, taking the trumpet and breaking it over his knee.*

Lewa: I pick my teeth with puppits.

Remote: Aside from you doing a bad reference to the main Bionicle story, I have to admit you did well. See you in another lifetime…

*With that, Remote disappears… and by that, I mean he shuts down and proceeds to self-destruct into scrap metal.*

*That's when Lewa goes back to the ruins of the Temple of Time, exactly as he left it before when he got the Master Sword.*

Midna: Well, we're here. So now what? There's nothing here but trees and grass and bugs.

Lewa: Oh, my!

Midna: This isn't the Wizard of Oz, Lewa, this is serious business. 

Lewa: Well… something tells me…

Midna: What is it?

Lewa: What if I put the sword back in the pedestal? Than we can time travel back to when this temple was whole and full.

Midna: That's stupid. How could that work? 

Lewa: It worked in Back to the Future. And Bill and Ted. And Doctor Who.

Midna: Those are different. You're talking about putting a sword in a stone to go back in time. That's stupid, it'll never work.

Lewa: Oh, yeah? Well, watch this.

*Lewa takes the Master Sword in hand, and puts it back in the pedestal, causing a great special effect like in The Dimwit of Time, but with less flashiness and antidermis. And a whole lot of nothing happening… or so they think. Outside, a statue that was guarding a useless door to nowhere disappears into nothingness.*

Midna: See? I told you.

Lewa: Wow, I thought it would work for sure. 

*They both go outside and notice the missing statue.*

Midna: Wasn't there a statue in that spot earlier?

Lewa: Ha! In your face! I told you I knew what I was doing!

Midna, groans: Never mind, just go up there and figure out what to do now.

*Lewa climbs up the edge and approaches the door. He opens it to find there is another world on the end! It was the Temple of Time, but as it appeared many years in the past… Despite all logic, Lewa goes through the door and he goes into the past. Not just a week into the past, but a great many years into it.*

[ShadowBionics]

And here is chapter 20 of the story, meaning we are 2/3 done with it. Not a whole lot to say about this chapter, although has some bad puns and movie references. 

 

 

*After opening a doorway into the distant past, Lewa walked into the Temple of Time, which seemed to have had a lot of renovations ever since the day of the Hero of Time. Like, the statues were never there. And where's the place where the spiritual stones went? Oh, well, never mind. Well, anyways, Lewa walked into the ancient temple and right back to where the pedestal was. Unsure of what else to do, he decided to try it again.*

Lewa: It worked before, so might as well try again.

*Lewa struck the pedestal with the Master Sword, and it created a glowing stairway all the way to the window that Navi went through those many years ago… I can't help but wonder…?*

Lewa: All right, a stairway to heaven!

*Before Lewa could even take a step, the squabbling Ooccoo and Ooccoo Jr. go past him and go all the way up the stairs and through the window, a lot like how Navi did 178 years ago.*

Lewa: What in Mata Nui's chimpanzee face…? What is Ooccoo doing here?

*Confused, Lewa goes up the stairs and right through the window. Surprise, it was a hologram all the time. It was hiding the rest of the Temple of Time this whole entire time… which oddly means the rest of it must have been pretty dang well hidden considering there never looked like there was more to the temple aside from the entrance and the sword chamber. Anyways, Lewa meets up with Ooccoo once again.*

Lewa: Ooccoo, why are you so strange-crazy?

Ooccoo: Well, excuse me for being excited.

Lewa: Excited for what?

Ooccoo: They key to getting back home is somewhere in this temple!

Lewa: And just where is your home?

Ooccoo: Somewhere in the sky.

Lewa: Hmm… I think someone was trying to tell me something about a city in the sky.

Ooccoo: You must take me there!

*And so Lewa reunites with Ooccoo once again, but this time around he's not as annoyed like he has been in the past. As he went into the door, he noticed two bells and one statue underneath one of them…*

*So much, much, much, much, much, much, much, much later, Lewa ends up in the only room on the eighth floor.*

Lewa: I went all this way just to find out there's an empty room in here?! What a rip-off! Hey, a suit of armor. This better not be like the last time when one of them came to life and tried to kill me.

*Lewa approaches the armor, and sure enough the armor is in use and it is "alive." It was a dark knight. I mean, a Darknut. But you could think of him as a dark knight. The Darknut turns around to face Lewa.*

Darknut, as Christian Bale Batman: Why you wanna kill me?

Lewa: What?

Darknut: I said why you wanna kill me, Joker?

Lewa: I'm not a joker.  And I can't understand you.

Darknut: Don't play games with me, Joker! *punches Lewa.*

Lewa: Argh… that hurt.

Darknut: Tell me where's Harvey Dent!

Lewa: I don't know if that was a question or statement.

Darknut: Where is he?!

Lewa: I have no idea what you're saying. It's all just guttural sounds.

*The Darknut then challenges Lewa in a sword duel while shouting things that Lewa could not understand.*

Darknut: Where is he?!

Lewa: Learn how to talk!!

*Lewa manages to cut away most of his armor, staggering him.*

Darknut: Take this big sword!

*Lewa manages to dodge the sword as the Darknut threw it at him.*

Lewa: Ha! You just threw your only weapon away! What are you going to do now?

*The Darknut then unsheathes a small sword.*

Lewa: Darn it, he's got another sword! Well, no matter. Prepare to die!

*Lewa manages to deliver a few back slices to the Darknut, defeating him and making sure he won't ever rise again.*

Darknut: You are the symbol of justice I can never be…

Lewa: Yeah, well, whatever to you, too.

*After the Darknut dies, Lewa goes to claim the item for the temple, and he is awarded the glowing Dominion Rod.*

Lewa: This… this is what I get? What does it do?

*Lewa tries it out, and he gains control of one of the statues.*

Lewa: Okay, so I can control statues… that's not bad, but I thought it'd be something cooler.

Midna: Lewa, see if you can get that statue beneath that bell, that way you can send it back to that bell at the beginning of the temple.

Lewa: I don't think it works that way, but worth a shot. 

*Lewa uses the Dominion Rod to move the statue over to the bell on the other end of the room, and trusting Midna's words, he began his 2 hour journey back down to the beginning of the temple where he saw the other statue and the two bells. Sure enough, when he walked in, the bell lowered itself and revealed the statue.*

Lewa: Okay, I guess we're even now, Midna.

Midna: You got that right. I figured the bell had to do something since it's in this place more than once. Now let's go into the door. I still don't understand how the mirror shard ended up in the past, but then again I don't understand how a lot of this stuff is happening in the first place.

*So Lewa goes into the door and works his way inside the chamber, which is very dark save for some light shining in through some openings in the ceiling. Who knew all of this was in the Temple of Time? Lewa got startled when a shadow blocked off one of the openings of light and he looked up to be met with a single orange eye staring right back at him. The eye of Twilit arachnid Armogohma… who I don't think is related to Queen Gohma from the that one part of the story I skipped because I saw no point, but oh well.*

Lewa: Spiders… why does it always have to be spiders? Well, rule of thumb… see a giant eye, sharp-shoot an arrow at it.

*Lewa takes out his bow, shoots an arrow at the spider's large eye on its back, and sure enough it falls down from the sharp pain.*

Midna: Now hurry up and use that statue to smash it.

Lewa: Already on it.

*Lewa takes the Dominion Rod, takes control of the statue, and commands the statue to use its giant fist to kill the evil insect, sure enough delivering the killing strike. With that, the evil mutant spider curls up like all spiders do when they die, and explodes. Lewa was triumphant and as he was about to put his sword away, he looked and saw that Armogohma wasn't truly dead… instead, Armogohma just exploded into a bunch of smaller spiders and the single eye being the largest of them.*

Lewa: Seriously, why does it always have to be spiders?

*Lewa runs after the spiders in a somewhat amusing chase, shooting arrows at the "eye" spider, until he finally kills said spider and the rest all die off conveniently. NOW he was triumphant and now able to claim the mirror shard… for like 2 seconds before Midna takes it.*

Midna: Come on, Lewa, you know the rules.

Lewa: Yeah, yeah, I'm apparently not allowed to hold the stuff we get from the temples.

Midna: That's right, so no touching the mirror shard. So now that only leaves one more to go.

Lewa: Yeah, and I wonder where it might be. Didn't one of those sages say it'd be in the clouds?

Midna: In that case, why don't we try and find that nerd who was going on about that city in the sky?

Lewa: Oh, that annoying guy. Well, all right.

*So Lewa goes through the magic exit and proceeds outside of the Temple of Time. That's when he notices something happens.*

Lewa: Why did the Dominion Rod suddenly go dark? It was all bright-glowing before.

Midna: Maybe because we left the past, so it doesn't work anymore.

Ooccoo: No, now we'll never get home!

Lewa: You're still here? Wait, so this…? This is the thing that'll get you home?

Ooccoo: Well, sort of. It's rather complicated. But that weapon needs to be powered up again.

Lewa: And how do I do that?

Ooccoo: What do I look like, an encyclopedia? Figure that out on your own. *With that, Ooccoo and Ooccoo Jr. go off again, squabbling like strange creatures.*

Midna: Wait, get back over here! Tell us how to... Oh, forget it. You're just as bad as the sages!

Lewa: Well, not sure what to do now…

Midna: We don't, but there might be someone who does. 

Lewa: What do you mean?

Midna: Here's an idea: Find that nerd guy.

Lewa: Oh, right, him. I don't want to…

Midna: Just do it.

*To save a bit of time and writing, Lewa goes to Gali's bar as always, but it turns out Nuju was doing some studying in New Ta-Metru's hotel and carnival for whatever odd reason, so Lewa had to go over there now, which was no problems since Midna could warp him. So after that, Lewa goes into the hotel and carnival to talk to the insane pyromaniac Tahu.*

Tahu: Oh, hello there, Lewa.

Lewa: Hey, there, you wacko nutcase.

Hahli: Hi, Lewa!

Lewa: Hello… you…

*Lewa couldn't help but think about the past moments he had with Hahli, and they really weren't all that great, considering it mostly consisted of her yelling at him and stealing his horse. Plus, she owed him money. Safe to say, Hahli wasn't exactly his most favorite person at the moment…*

Tahu: What brings you here to the hotel and carnival?

Lewa: I was looking for a way to get to some sort of city in the sky, which all of a sudden because mega-important.

Tahu: Well, lucky for you, there is a Ko-Metru big brained nerd downstairs in the basement. 

Kopaka: Why are you so mean to us?

Tahu: Because it's funny. In the mean time, we've been trying to help Hahli get her memory back. 

Lewa: How?

Tahu: Well, I tried shouting in her ear. I tried to do a dance tribute to Carrie Underwood. I tried to hang her over a cliff upside down. I even tried to feed her loads and loads of garlic. None of it worked.

Lewa: Darn. I'd think the hanging her over a cliff would have worked for sure.

Tahu: I even enlisted the help of some old friends.

Onua: Hey, there.

Lewa, yelps: Why are they here?

Whenua: We're here to help.

Lewa: How can they help us?

Onua: Well, Bomonga always has these ways to deal with craziness, but Tahu won't let us do anything.

Tahu: I might be insane, but I keep telling you that hitting her over the head with a rock isn't going to help any.

Lewa: Well, you never know. I'm going to go talk to the big-brain now.


*A few moments later in the basement.*

Nuju: Hello there, Lewa. What brings you to my place of studying?

Lewa: Well, I heard you were doing some research on some city in the sky, and--

Nuju: Oh, happy day! Finally, somebody believes! After all these wasted years, there's someone who actually believe in my theories and research!

Lewa: That's nice. But anyways, I really need to get there. I have a feeling it has something to do with this Dominion Rod thing.

Nuju: Where did you get this?

Lewa: I went back in time and stole it.

Nuju: Um… okay. But there is no denying it is the ancient Dominion Rod. Oh, but if only it were to work as it did back in the old times.

Lewa: Why is that?

Nuju: I've done a lot of research and there are still a few missing pieces to the puzzle.

Lewa: When did this become a puzzle?

Nuju: That's just a metaphor, but stay with me. Aside from what's missing, I can conclude the way to the city in the sky revolves around the Dominion Rod and that owl statue over there.

*Nuju points behind him, over to an owl statue.*

Nuju: If legend is correct, the Dominion Rod is the only thing that can help to move this statue and find a way to this city. And then my research also leads me to believe a clue lies in Hahli's memory.

Lewa: Hahli's memory?

Nuju: Wherever she was prior to her being in Gali's bar, an important clue lies there as well. 

Lewa: So then restoring her memory really is important to this? Darn. I don't want to have to listen to her loud-shouting at me again. But I guess I'm going to have to.

Nuju: Yes, that's right. After we've found out where she was before all of this, only then might we have a chance at discovering the secret.

Lewa: Wow, that was actually very helpful. Thank you.

Nuju: You're very welcome. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to wrap myself in a blanket and cry my heart out.

Lewa: All right…

[Meta Nuva]

Ch. 19:

 

Rusl: Make sure you bring back My Dinner. After all, that is my dinner…

 

What a creep-face.

 

Good chappy here. But wait...

 

Crystal King: Hey, that's my thing.

 

What story? Would be nice to know...

 

*Lewa opens the treasure chest to get the watermelon in return. After throwing the watermelon outside the window and hitting Yeta despite the distance with it, Lewa saw another treasure chest behind the one he just opened. After opening that one, he got a key in the shape of a heart.*

 

Watermelon? That was actually pretty funny .

 

Ch. 20:

 

Darknut, as Christian Bale Batman: Why you wanna kill me?

 

Wow. Movie reference 1.

 

Also, I'd like to note that it's great you sped this temple. Seriously, it was WAY too long in-game.

 

 

Nuju: You're very welcome. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to wrap myself in a blanket and cry my heart out.

 

I feel no pity for this guy. Surprising? Not really.

 

Good two chappys.

 

~LTT~

 

P.S. Oh, and how do you like my name change?

[ShadowBionics]

Ch. 19:

 

Rusl: Make sure you bring back My Dinner. After all, that is my dinner…

 

What a creep-face.

 

Good chappy here. But wait...

 

Crystal King: Hey, that's my thing.

 

What story? Would be nice to know...

 

*Lewa opens the treasure chest to get the watermelon in return. After throwing the watermelon outside the window and hitting Yeta despite the distance with it, Lewa saw another treasure chest behind the one he just opened. After opening that one, he got a key in the shape of a heart.*

 

Watermelon? That was actually pretty funny .

 

Ch. 20:

 

Darknut, as Christian Bale Batman: Why you wanna kill me?

 

Wow. Movie reference 1.

 

Also, I'd like to note that it's great you sped this temple. Seriously, it was WAY too long in-game.

 

 

Nuju: You're very welcome. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to wrap myself in a blanket and cry my heart out.

 

I feel no pity for this guy. Surprising? Not really.

 

Good two chappys.

 

~LTT~

 

P.S. Oh, and how do you like my name change?

 

Rusl is a creep-face. As for that reference, that is the Crystal King from Paper Mario. When I was writing The Dimwit of Time in 2010 I was also writing a comedy called Paper Tahu, which spoofed Paper Mario. It was only 3 chapters long before I called it quits. Mainly because not many people liked the project and I kind of lost interest myself. Before you ask, I'm not sure if it's still on BZPower... of if you can find it on BZPower... O_O

 

I was going in with the whole "finding food" theme and thought "What if he found another food item in it?" and kind of played with that idea. 

 

I hated the temple, even thought it's the Temple of Time. They kind of made it drag on for so long, so first thing I thought to myself was "I'm going to speed it up to save me and anyone who reads it the trouble."  And I've portrayed Nuju as being the smart guy who doesn't get the attention he deserves, so yeah.

 

Cool name change. 

 

 

Here is chapter 21. In this one, Lewa tries to discover what happened to Hahli after she was kidnapped and what was going on during the whole time. As of this moment, the 3,000 word intro for Skyward Stooge is also finished, meaning the first 2 chapters are done (I'm going to split it). So that is coming along nicely. And since my finals are done, it means I have a little more freedom to write, so hooray for that. And by uttering that, I've become like this guy who is kind of a role model.

 

 

*Day by day, there was no telling how much Antroz was growing in power or what he was doing in the Coliseum. He could have been formulating a brilliantly evil master plan. He could have been raising an army of monsters and demons. He could have been preparing some sort of ultimate weapon that he would use to exact his revenge from being locked in the sacred realm with some Southern Belle girl. Or almost. This is a different timeline after all, which means-- oh, what does it matter? Whatever it was he was doing, it was sure that he was up to absolutely nothing good at all.*

Antroz, sitting down: Huh… Hmmm… it sure is taking a while for the so-called legendary hero to come and stop me. It's been a week already since I broke into the Coliseum and exacted my plan to enslave Metru Nui. What else can I even do? Whoever this guy is, can't he hurry up a little? I'm so bored. I might actually fall asleep without warning. I've done nothing but sit in this chair for a week, and it does get monotonous after a while. Maybe I should have thought this through before I really put my plan into action. Maybe I could have brought a TV or something. Maybe a few playing cards. Possibly some DVD's so I could catch up on all the movies I missed out on in the last 178 years. I mean, I have been gone for such a long time, so I can only imagine at how many movies were made and released during the time I was sealed away.

[awkward pause]

Antroz: I'm so bored! It's not even funny!

*Well, I feel slightly better now. Since we've checked up on Antroz, how about we go check up on Lewa now? So after leaving Nuju to wallow in self-pity, Lewa decides to go back to Gali to see if she knew anything that could help about restoring Hahli's memory. Tahu stopped him and asked him to deliver a letter for her… because he apparently didn't want to go deliver it himself. So Lewa went back to see her.*

Lewa: Hey, Gali, I've got a letter for you from Tahu.

Gali: Whatever you say, Postman.

Lewa: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not The Postman.

Gali: Anyone who delivers letters all look the same to me.

Lewa: … That's harsh. Anyways, he said something about there being instructions here and to think while-back on if anyone met with Hahli before you did.

*Gali reads through the letter quickly, and she thinks back.*

Gali: Well, it was that stupid doctor who brought her in. However, he refuses to talk to anyone unless he's paid. Luckily for me, I have some dirt on him that will make him have to give in. *She hands Lewa an invoice.*

Lewa: What's this for?

Gali: The stupid doctor spends a lot of time drinking tons and tons of milk and he always answers to put it on his tab. Well, he's not the only one who wants to be paid. So show this to him so he will have no choice but to answer to you. Also, see if you can rough him up a bit so he can pay me back.

Lewa: I can't make any promises on getting your money…

Gali: Well, that's fine, but as long as he knows, it's okay.

Lewa: I'm sure I can make him speak-answer me.

Gali: And while you're at it, why don't you make him cough up the wooden idol he stole from Hahli.

Lewa: Why did he take a wooden idol from her? Wait, why did she even have one in the first place?

Gali: I don't know, but I know that doctor has something he's not telling us.

*So Lewa goes to see the doctor to make him talk. He was sitting at his chair, fast asleep.*

Lewa, yelling: Hey, Strakk Frost!!

Strakk, gasping: Vhazzut?! Vhere's my money?! Oh… you're the heroic young green freak who saved that girl and that boy for free. People like you disgust me. Vhy do things for free?

Lewa: Stop acting like a fool and talk.

Strakk: Not until I get paid. Pay me first.

Lewa: Shut up and listen. You have to pay this right now! *Lewa shows him Gali's invoice, which knocked off that smug expression from his face.*

Strakk: I told her to put it on my tab!

Lewa: Well, you can only put so much on your tab, so if you don't want me to knock-rough you around, you're going to talk and we'll call it even.

Strakk: If I could have sold the vooden idol that girl had, I'd have been able to pay off the money!

Lewa: Ah, so you do admit to having the wooden idol!

Strakk: Yes, I admit it! I stole it from the girl! But vhat else could I have done?! I'm just a lowly doctor! Plus it's not like she even knew who she vas, so vhat else could I have done?

Lewa: People like you sicken me.

Midna: You liked the idea of being a grave robber.

Lewa: That was different!

Strakk: If I hadn't spilled medicine on it, everything vould have been okay.

Lewa: Wait, so you spilled medicine on it? Then what happened?

Strakk: A pack of vild dogs attacked me and stole it. They're not so tough. They're outside the south gate.

Lewa: If they're not so tough, why didn't you do anything about it?

Strakk: Not unless I get paid.

Lewa: I don't know who's the most worthless… you, the sages, or the dorks of the round table!

*Lewa goes outside and changes into his wolf form, getting the medicine scent and then resolving to go outside the southern gate and wait for the pack of dogs to show themselves.*

Midna: Why are you a wolf right now?

Lewa: I'm going to face off against those wild dogs personally…

Midna: Well, whatever works. It's almost sun down…

*As the sun set into the sky, that's when the pack of Stalhounds show themselves.*

Lewa: They're demon dogs! That crazy doctor lied to me!

*Lewa, having no other choice, fights them all off one by one until the last one falls and gives up the wooden idol. Taking the wooden idol, Lewa changes back to his Toa self and goes back to New Ta-Metru to see Hahli. Oddly enough, the wooden idol had the symbol of an eye at the top of it, which looked as though it belonged to a certain tribe from long ago…*

Lewa: Hey, Hahli, you remember this?

*Lewa shows her the wooden idol and it suddenly jogs her memory.*

Hahli: I remember something! There's some person in trouble! I don't remember where, but I know it's blocked off by some giant boulder.

Onua: I know that place!

Lewa: How you do conveniently know that place?

Onua: Trust me, I do! Whenua, head down over there and clear the path!

Whenua: You got it. *So Whenua rolls up like he does in the Toa Metru animations and he rolls away to wherever this place is. I don't understand why he doesn't do this in the actual storyline and yet he does it in those animations, but whatever.*

Onua: You must go past the Eldin Bridge, and there you will find a small passageway.

Lewa: Okay, now we're getting somewhere.

*So a few hours of confused stumbling later, Lewa stumbles on Whenua who has finished clearing away the giant boulder with his earth shock drills.*

Whenua: Oh, I was wondering when you would be getting here.

Lewa: I got lost along the way.

Whenua: Well, this is the way. The air is thickened with the scent of evil… and possibly cats. Since I'm allergic to cats, I can't go help you.

Lewa: Why not?

Whenua: Last time I was in a place full of cats… let's just say a lot of renovations had to be done.

Lewa: Oh… I get you. Well, see you later then.

*Lewa walks into the hidden village. As he does, a small gust of sand blows in, blowing a tumbleweed in front of him. Lewa stops in front of the charred sign that reads "Ta-Metru Forge," to see a bunch of Bulblin monster archers all lined up at specific posts. It was a moment of truth and a moment of trial as Lewa stared down at each one of them, all of them staring right back at him as well. Lewa was ready with his bow, as were the other archers. It was just a matter of who would make the first move and who was first to draw.*

*At that moment, Lewa drew his bow and started taking down a few of the archers before they could even react in time. Using a combination so speed and stealth, Lewa was able to take down a majority of the archers, who didn't stand a chance against him. Eventually, he took down all 20 of them. As they were all finished, Lewa heard the sound of a door unlocking. He took a moment to look around and see the village was nearly dead, except for a few cats that now roamed freely with the monsters gone.*

Lewa: Is there still one left?

*A door of one single house on the other end of the village opens and out comes an elderly female.*

Riskaz: Are all the evil hooligans finally gone?

Lewa: Yeah, thanks to me.

Riskaz: Thank you very much. I am the sole survivor of an old tribe who once founded this small village here in the old Ta-Metru.

Lewa: Wait, this is the old Ta-Metru? I was wondering why everything was charred-burned. 

Riskaz: Yes. My name is Riskaz.

Lewa: And I am Lewa. Can you tell me something about some girl named Hahli?

Riskaz: Oh, of course, how could I forget about her? She got on my nerves and threatened to kick me down the stairs.

Lewa: Yup, that sounds a lot like her. How'd she lose her memory?

Riskaz: Well, she spoke a lot of you and a lot of some horse named Epona and how she didn't want Epona to get hurt because of you. She threatened me if I tried to keep her from Epona. So I took this old book, threw it at her head, and then left her to wander around Ga-Metru.

[Awkward pause]

Lewa: You are the greatest person who has ever lived.

Riskaz: Thank you. Sorry for making her lose her memory, however. I must have overdone it.

Lewa: No, it's fine, I understand. It's a simple, unavoidable mistake.

Riskaz: Well, I might as well give this thing to you. She made it when she wasn't make a racket and going on about Epona. It might help restore her memories… You're not going to do that, are you?

Lewa: I'd rather not. I like her better the way she is now. All nice and not complaining and yelling at me.

Riskaz: I might as well give you it anyways since I don't know what to do with it.

Lewa: What is it?

Riskaz: I'm not sure. It looks like some kind of whistle. Apparently she made it for Epona.

Lewa: Of course, she did… The little weirdo. 

Riskaz: While I'm at it, here's the book I used to make her lose her memory. It's something about some ancient city in the sky, and I was told to hang onto it for when the chosen hero would need it. I think that's supposed to be you.

Lewa: Yup. 

Riskaz: Well, here you go. I take it you have the dominion rod?

Lewa: Yeah, but it's worthless now.

*Lewa holds it out, and sure enough it was still powerless.*

Riskaz: Well, there's something supposed to be in that book to fix that problem.

Lewa: Well, thank you very much, and I will be sure to do just that. 

*We cut to the basement in the New Ta-Metru hotel/carnival…*

Nuju: YES! FINALLY! I HAVE IT! ALL THESE WASTED YEARS PAY OFF NOW!!

Lewa: I take it you're cheer-happy I brought you this book.

Nuju: You bet I am! I can now move on with my research and keep going forward with my life! I can finally do all the things I've always wanted to do, but couldn't due to my studies getting in the way! Now I can pick up from where I last left off. Now then, there's a magic word to move this statue by using some magic Dominion Rod, and this book has that exact word in here someplace!

Lewa: Great. Well, go on and do the honors.

Nuju: And the magic word is… Pickle.

*Nothing happens… or so, it seems…*

Nuju: Hmm… Well, at least we're one step closer to solving this mystery.

*That's when Lewa notices the Dominion Rod glowing with power once more. The power of the Dominion Rod was back!*

Lewa: Well, you can say that.

Nuju: Hmm… you might still need this book. Hang onto it, I guess. In the mean time, why not try and help Hahli with her memory?

Lewa: Oh… that. Darn it. Well, I guess all good things come to an end. It's like that song says.

[ShadowBionics]

Chapter 22, continuing with Lewa's attempts to get to the city in the sky. In this chapter, there's also some major plot points revealed as well as some call-backs to The Dimwit of Time and The Moron's Mask that kind of come into play in this story. So for those who hate the fact I include the side-quests with the Hero's Shade, there's an important reason as to WHY HE NEEDED to be in the story for this to work. 

 

 

*Upon taking the ancient sky book to Nuju, he learned there was a secret word that would allow Lewa to move the bird statue in the basement of Tahu hotel/carnival. When asking how to obtain the word, Nuju simply told him there were 6 other bird statues all throughout Metru Nui, much to Lewa's annoyance. Nuju then reminded him to help Hahli get her memory back, more so to Lewa's annoyance. Lewa grimaced as he went back upstairs to show Hahli the fancy whistle she left with Riskaz.*

Lewa: Hello… you. Do this look familiar?

*He gives the whistle to Hahli, triggering something in her subconscious.*

Hahli: I… I knew you once. We lived in a small village for so long as friends.

Lewa: Yay, she remembers me now.

Hahli: I was talking about Epona.

Lewa: Why are you obsessed with my horse?? It's eerie-creepy! You got all mad-flustered when you saw that small scratch on her leg and you tried to steal her from me!

Hahli: Is it wrong I like nature so much?

Lewa: No, but in your case, it's utter creepiness.

Hahli: Well don't worry, Lewa. Besides, I remember you, too.

Lewa: Okay, good to know that.

*So after the moment was totally ruined, Hahli and Lewa collect themselves together.*

Hahli: I made this charm as a horsecall so you can call Epona anytime you wanted.

Lewa: Oh, good… but…

Hahli: What is it?

Lewa: Wouldn't it have been better to give this to me in the beginning? You know, considering my adventure is more than half way over and I've been giving Epona a break? Speaking of which…

*Lewa didn't really know where he left Epona, but he actually left her somewhere back in Ga-Metru near Lake Hylia after meeting with the two scary clown guys.*

Hahli: Well, it's the thought that counts, right?

Lewa: I guess you're right. Still, it would have been more practical for me to get this when it was more relevant, which would be the first half of the story and not near the end when I have a new way to travel. *glares at the game developers who made the game this story is based off.*

*While going off to find these six statues, Lewa was met with a familiar golden/white wolf who tried to bite his head off. Lewa once more found himself in the same realm as the Hero's Shade.*

Hero's Shade: Back again, are you now?

Lewa: Yeah, although I was kind of in the middle of something. 

Hero's Shade: Are you ready to learn the last hidden skill?

Lewa: No.

Hero's Shade: Then get away from me! You're a disgrace! I hate you! You're stupid, ugly, and I hope you die slowly and painfully!

Lewa:   I was just kidding.

Hero's Shade: I was like you once… and then--

Lewa: You took and arrow to the knee?

Hero's Shade: No! And don't say that. It's an overused meme that's stupid anyway. It was on the day after I returned to Metru Nui from fighting the Night Nurse, Elitha, and found out Antroz escaped due to those sages who don't do anything… I realized all the fun-games stopped then and there. I realized that not only could I not hold onto my friends for so long, but I also realized I can't solve every little problem that goes wrong in the world. I killed off Elitha but not Antroz.

Lewa: So that means…

Hero's Shade: I am your ancestor.

Lewa: So then is it true you got dragged to the funny farm?!

Hero's Shade: No. Who told you that?

Lewa: I don't know, I read it somewhere.

Hero's Shade: Well, they're liars! I was never at the funny farm! No one in our family has!

Lewa: I woke up in a jail once after I got turned into a wolf.

Hero's Shade: I got thrown into jail by a bunch of Vortixx. 

Lewa: Wow… I never knew we had so much in common before… aside from the fact we both use swords and use treespeak.

Hero's Shade: And that it is it is up to you as one of my descendants to do the things I couldn't do and correct my past mistakes.

Lewa: All right. So what do you have for me this time?

Hero's Shade: First let's review the jump strike.

*Lewa focuses on his target, and with his sword he jumps and strikes the ground with all his might.*

Hero's Shade: Excellent. Now for the final hidden skill. Let the great spin be hewn into your mind. This is a forgotten skill and a hidden technique, but such secrets never leave our bloodline.

Lewa: So how does it go?

Hero's Shade: It's a skill that first needs you to be full-health.

*The Hero's Shade uses his strange, magical powers to heal Lewa to full health.*

Lewa: Um… wow… Thank you for that.

Hero's Shade: Being at full health and with the power of your past skills, you can magnify the power of the spin attack and use it at its full potential. 

*Lewa then attempts to use the spin attack, charging up the Master Sword, and unleashing a mighty spin that takes out the Hero's Shade from a somewhat farther range than Lewa can usually get.*

Hero's Shade: Excellent. The final hidden skill, the great spin, has been passed… Go, and do no falter, my child…

*With that, Lewa is transported back to Metru Nui, having seen his ancestor for the last time. True to his word, he went on with the intention of fulfilling his wishes… So about six annoyingly hidden bird statues later, Lewa finds six pieces of parchment that, when put together in the right order, made the phrase needed to move the other statue in the basement. So having completed that in a very annoying, drawn-out side quest that made me lose my mind (yes, you're welcome for skipping said side quest), Lewa returned to Nuju to see what he would say.*

Nuju: What's this? There's more words in the book now! Don't tell me you actually went out and gathered the last of the words, did you?!

Lewa: Yes, and don't remind me…

Nuju: All right, the ancient phrase that will allow you to move the statue with the Dominion Rod is… "Dry Clean Only."

*The ancient "lock" on the statue then disappears the moment Nuju finishes reading those words.*

Nuju: That's amazing! And no, I'm not quoting myself from Legends of Metru Nui.

*Lewa walks over to the statue with the Dominion Rod, moves it over, and walks into the room that was hidden behind it. There, inside this massive chamber that was somehow hidden in Ta-Metru all these years with no one ever knowing, was a cannon with two chicken legs.*

Nuju: This has to be the ancient sky cannon I read about in my studies!

Lewa: You're getting a bit too excited, you know?

Nuju: I have a feeling you're going to be needing this cannon, aren't you?

Lewa: Well, I don't know any other way to fly-reach this city in the sky.

Nuju: I understand. Still, this is an amazing discovery.

Lewa: But it's not like the cannon is going to disappear. I just need to get it fixed-running again.

Nuju: All right. Let me know about that when you're finished. I really love this book, you know? This book has opened the door to many great discoveries. 

*So Nuju wanders off to let Lewa be with the cannon. In the mean time, Lewa had to figure out what to do with it.*

Lewa: I don't know anyone who fixes cannons though!

Midna: Well, there's a certain clown with a belly shirt who might disagree with you.

Lewa: Do I have to?

Midna: We have to get this thing fixed, Lewa. By any means necessary.

Lewa: Okay, but I won't like it. Let's go to Lake Hylia.

*So Midna warps the cannon and Lewa over to Lake Hylia, dropping the cannon in an empty piece of land. Lewa returned to his Toa self and made his way over to Fyer.*

Fyer: Oh, hello there. I see you've brought a cannon here.

Lewa: Yeah, and I need you to fix it for me.

Fyer: No problem. I know a lot about cannons anyway. How did you get it here, though?

Lewa: Uh… I got it on one of those delivery trucks.

Fyer: Really? Cool. Well, let's have a look-see.

Lewa: I didn't know you spoke treespeak.

*The both of them go over to the cannon to inspect it.*

Fyer: Kind of old, isn't it?

Lewa: This guy told me it was an ancient sky cannon.

Fyer: I think I can do it, but for a price. I need 300 rupees and 3 days. In advance.

Lewa: So I have to?

Fyer: Either that or live with a broken cannon for the rest of your life and like it.

Lewa: Fine… as long as everything is sped up to catchy music.

Fyer: Deal.

*So Lewa gave him the time and money and Fyer begins working on the cannon in fast motion to the scary circus music from before.*

Lewa: No! I said catchy music! This music wants to make me throw myself off a bridge…! Again.

*Eventually, the 3 days have passed and the cannon is ready.*

Lewa, cowering in fear: Is it over?

Fyer: Yup. All finished. Have fun. I'm not sure what you're going to do with it, though. There's no ignition.

Lewa: I'll figure something out.

Fyer: Well, if you do get it working, you'll be knocking on Artakha's door, that's for sure. Literally, take this cannon and you'll be shot with so much force you could literally just go visit him and knock on his door.

*After Fyer leaves, Midna decides to give him some advice.*

Midna: You know, maybe you don't need an ignition. Maybe you could, oh… clawshot your way?

Lewa: Well, it's worth a try.

*Lewa goes over to the end of the cannon, clawhots into it via a clawshot target inside, and the cannon springs to life. As it's about to shoot Lewa to the sky, Ooccoo and Ooccoo Jr., squabbling and running, run in and jump into the cannon. Then Lewa gets shot off into the sky, embarking on quest for the last mirror shard.*

*Eventually, he lands into a large pool of water floating out on some small island among a larger chain of islands. Lewa was now in the ancient city in the sky Nuju went on and on about. And sure enough, there were in fact a whole bunch of other Ooccoo-type of creatures living there. Talk about a major headache.*

Lewa: There's more of them?!

Ooccoo: Yes? Did you really think we were the only ones?

Lewa: Yes! I didn't think there was more of you!

*Lewa was about to run into a shop, when a large shadow overcasts the walkway. Lewa looks up to see the form of a large, powerful dragon. After getting his bearings back, Lewa runs into the shop to find…*

Lewa: There's another one!

Oocca shopkeeper: (Speaking huttenese)

Lewa: I can't understand a thing you're saying!!

Oocca shopkeeper: Oh, sorry? I speak some Matoran. You want to buy something? I don't know how I got these bombs and arrows, but I have them.

Lewa: Um… sure… I guess.

Ooccoo: Excuse me, fellow adventurer, but aren't you going to go and do something about that dragon?

Lewa, in denial: What dragon?

Ooccoo: The one that we saw earlier?

Lewa: Do I have to?

Ooccoo: I'm worried about everyone here. I'll go with you if need be.

Lewa: All right, but I won't like it.

[ShadowBionics]

Here is Chapter 23. Before anyone complains, yes I did shorten the dungeon in terms of chapter length, but mainly because that dungeon takes a long time. It took me over 2 hours personally to get through it, and like with the Temple of Time, I just did not want to spend so long on a dungeon I didn't even like. The only thing I did like was the boss battle. That in itself made the dungeon feel worth it. If I could, I'd go through it again just for that battle because I like it so much, but I won't because I'd have to go through the dungeon again and I don't want to.

 

 

*So Lewa went off to go into the sky temple and he made his way through it. Though it was stress-inducing, mind numbing, and overall just confusing, Lewa was able to get through most of it… then he had to fight some flying lizard guy with a shield… that had a clawshot target.*

Lewa: He might as well give up to me right now.

*Lewa beat him with the clawshot with ease and his reward was… another clawshot.*

Lewa: What the…? I already have one of these.

*Sure enough, Lewa eventually learned having two clawshots was actually more helpful than it sounded. It made getting through the temple much easier… sort of. There was still a lot of problems but nothing he couldn't totally handle. So about 5 hours later, Lewa made it to fight the menacing monster that terrorized the city in the sky. None other than Twilit Dragon Argorok. When Lewa first got to the chamber, it was relatively sunny outside. As he made his way up via his double clawshots and the floating peahats, he found the weather started to get worse. It was Pathetic Fallacy at its best in this case.*

Lewa: Can this get any worse?

*In the irony of his words, Argorok flew in, letting out a roar, and then soaring up higher. Lewa, looking at the 4 spires around him, uses his double claw shots to ascend and then clawshot to Argorok's hooktail. Lewa added some weight with his iron boots, causing the dragon to plummet and lose some of his armor. Argorok shook it off and tried again, getting higher, but as did Lewa and he did the same thing once more. After Argorok 90% of his armor, he simply shook off the rest of it and let out a powerful roar, soaring above the spires and spewing fire as he did so. As he did so, Pathetic Fallacy kicked in again with a terrible storm with wind and rain, causing a few peahats to grow out of the ground and fly into the air.*

*Lewa clawshotted his way above the spires and then to the peahats, going to and fro between then and getting behind Argorok, just to notice a red jewel on his back. Once behind Argorok, Lewa latched onto him and struck at the jewel repeatedly until the dragon shook him off. Lewa went after him again, doing the same thing to strike at the jewel once more. After the dragon shook him off again, Argorok grew wise to his strategy and as Lewa tried again, Argorok started to breathe fire in his direction to block him off. Lewa quickly changed direction, latched onto the jewel, and destroyed that evil dragon, earning the final mirror shard. The Mirror of Twilight was now complete.*

Midna: Well, well, well, looks like you took down that dragon, Lewa. Now give me the mirror shard, you know the rules by now.

Lewa: All right.

Midna: You know, only the true leader of the Twili can truly destroy this thing. Zant only shattered it into 4 pieces. If that's not proof of his false kingship, I don't know what is.

Lewa: Well, now we can go and face him and steal-back the Fused Shadows. I can only wonder what he's doing while we're out here. He must be plotting… doing evil things…

*Somewhere in the Zone Where Normal Things Don't Happen Very Often…*

*Zant is in his quarters… playing with his actual action figure series for Twilight Delinquent. He's got the Lewa figure, the Nokama figure, the Midna figure in her true form with her face hidden in her cloak, and of course the Zant figure with special helmet.*

Zant: 
(as himself) At last, Midna, I have you in my clutches. And now you will be forced to love me and marry me and live happily ever after! 
(as Midna) No, Zant, I hate you! Get away from me, I'll never love you! 
(as himself) No! You're mine now! 
(as Lewa) I won't let you love-marry her, Lord Helmet! 
(as himself) Toa Lewa! I knew you would get here! Well, no matter, because you're not as cool as me! *beats up Lewa action figure* 
(as Lewa) No! I lost to your awesomeness! 
(as himself) Yes, and I did it all in a few seconds while barely moving! 
(as Nokama) Oh, no, you killed my boyfriend! 
(as himself) Oh, yeah? Well, now I'll kill you, too! *he beats up the Nokama figure the same way, then placing her next to the Lewa figure.* 
(as Nokama) Oh, no, you're so strong and handsome, there was no way I could ever keep up with you!
(as himself) And don't you forget it. Now, Midna, at last we are alone.
(as Midna) No, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! And yet… I find you strangely attractive.
(as himself) Of course you do. I have money and power, and you're a sucker for both and you know it! Now kiss me!
(as Midna) No, leave me alone, you monster!
(as himself) No, kiss me now! You can't deny that you love me!
(as Midna) Oh, Zant… your voice is so sexy, and your helmet is so big…

*Just then a Shadow Beast barges into Zant's quarters.*

Shadow Beast: Lord Helmet!

*Zant, scared out of his wits, quickly grabs his figures and hides them underneath his arms*

Zant: WHAT?!

Shadow Beast: They've gotten all the mirror shards.

Zant: Knock on my door next time, or I'll personally put you in the washing machine and hang you out to dry!

Shadow Beast: Yes, sir.

Zant: Did you see anything?

Shadow Beast: No, I didn't see you playing with your dolls.

Zant: Good!

*The Shadow Beast leaves and closes the door behind him.*

Zant: Oh, no, that means they'll be arriving here shortly… I'll be doomed! What will I do?! I'm not so much worried about that pathetic hero, it's more Midna I'm worried about! Her wrath is unmatched, and after I tried to kill her to convince her to join me, I'm sure she won't be happy to see me! I mean, trying to kill her should have made her join me! Why didn't it?!

Female voice: You worry too much, Lord Helmet…

Zant: Ah?! Oh, fair maiden, I need your guidance! Please, oh, spirit guide, share with me your wisdom!

Female voice: Stay calm and stay ready, for while this hero is indeed related to the "legendary" hero of time, he will be of no threat if he knows what he is truly up against. *evil giggle*

Zant: Yes, yes, you're right!

Female voice: Show him the might of the powers bestowed upon you by your deity… tell him exactly what he is up against. 

Zant: Oh, yes, fair princess! I shall do that! (womanly voice) Zant, before you go play, I do encourage you to finish your dinner. (regular voice) Aw, mom, do you have to embarrass me in front of the princess like that? Okay, I'll eat dinner first. Then I really need to plan the destruction of a hero.

Female voice: I suggest you keep me with you at all times while you confront this fool. He might be stupid, but he is powerful. I know his ancestor all too well…

Zant: Yes, Oh, maiden fair… *He reaches over to a shelf cloaked in darkness, taking something from it and putting it in a waist coat pocket. Then he makes his way to eat dinner.*

*Back with Lewa, he got out of the temple and ready to get to the Mirror Chamber. He wasn't sure how to get back down, though. At least, until he noticed there was another cannon like the one he found before.*

Lewa: Is it a good idea to shoot myself down from a cannon? I'll give it a try.

*Lewa clawshots into the cannon like before, and the cannon shoots him back down.*

Lewa: Bad day, bad day, bad day, bad day…!

*Lewa ends up back in Lake Hylia, thankfully landing in the water.*

Midna: All right, now it's time for you to make for the Mirror Chamber and get this mirror back together. We've wasted enough time dawdling, so let's get to it.

Lewa: All right, let's get to that Mirror Chamber.

*So with that, Midna warps Lewa to the Mirror Chamber in Po-Metru, ready to assemble the Mirror of Twilight to face Zant. He presents the other shards in front of the broken mirror, and they all magically assemble to form the full Mirror of Twilight once more. As the mirror glows and activates, the chains holding the stone slab break and it plummets into the ground. The mirror then projects a portal onto the stone slab.*

Midna: Now, Lewa, I have to warn you… The Twilight Realm isn't your average everyday sort of vacation spot. It's a zone of sight, taste, and smell. And capable of making sure normal things don't happen to you very often.

Lewa: What's it like?

Midna: You get your own taste of the Twilight realm in some ways… It holds a serene beauty. You've seen it yourself when the sun sets on this world.

Lewa: Oh… like the time between night and day. 

Midna: Yes, Lewa, that is why it's called the Twilight Realm. What else did you think it was?

Lewa: I don't know.

Midna: It was peaceful until a dark entity invaded.

Fire Sage: It was all our doing.

Midna: So… you finally admit it is your fault! I kind of already knew that, based on how poorly you handled Antroz and not only let him live, but just sent him to our home!

Light Sage: Well, excu-uuuuse me, Twilight Princess.

Lewa: What?? Midna? You're--?

Midna: Well… I guess now you know… I didn't really want you to find out like this.

Lewa: What… happened…?

Midna: It started with Zant's rise to power…

*Flashback, Zant is invading the Palace of Twilight with his Shadow Beasts and he has cornered the tall, elegant figure of Midna, slowly approaching her at her balcony.*

Zant: Ah, Midna, isn't this just so romantic? It's just you and me… you in my clutches!

Midna: What do you want with me?!

Zant: I'm just going forward with my plan, as my spirit guide advised me to! Midna, from the first day we met, I had these powerful feelings for you…

Midna: No, get back!

Zant: I was hoping that when I was named as ruler, I could then have you as my queen so we could rule the Twilgiht Realm and make things the way we always wanted to!

Midna: I'd never rule with you! You've changed! 

Zant: Why are you in freak mode?

Midna: ME?! You're the freak here Zant! I'm doing this because of what you've done! What you plan to do! I admired you once, Zant, but that was a long time ago… when you were different. But now I see your true colors and so did my father!

Zant: Yes… that's why I personally disposed of him.

Midna: What?!

Zant: Yes, you see, I thought he would be a minor flaw in my great plan, so I ate him!

Midna: You monster! How do you think I'd ever side with you?! Murderer! You're insane!

Zant: No! You're insane, Midna! All of you are insane! I'm the only same person left in this world! If you won't join me, then you're my enemy! Feel the power of my god! *Zant then delivers a powered back-handed slap to Midna's face, not only striking her down, but turning her into an imp-like creature, by using the powers granted to him.*

Midna, voice-over: Zant swept through the Palace of Twilight and personally took me down, taking me down from power and then putting himself in my place. All I could do was wander through aimlessly, banished and ashamed. Then I got hope in the form of the fused shadows and an ancient prophecy that spoke of a hero that would appear as a divine beast. I thought I could use you… When I saw you, I thought you would be the one. But after seeing all you and Nokama put yourselves through, I realize not everyone in this realm is truly bad. Your sacrifices opened my eyes…

*End flashback.*

Lewa: Now that is seriously messed up.

Midna: Now we have to go and teach Zant a lesson. We have to take him down so things can go back to normal and I can have my tall, gorgeous beauty back. Just step into that white light through the staircase from the mirror.

Lewa: Okay… as long as I don't get turned into clinkers.

*Lewa steps into the light and is turned into clinkers like the ones that surrounded the world when it was plunged into twilight.*

Lewa: Argh, it hurts!

*Lewa is then whisked away. As each of the black squares makes their way to points A, B, C, D, and as well as points E, F, G, H, I and J, K, L, Lewa goes into what could be his potential tomb and resting place as he faces the usurper of the Twilight realm's throne. His ultimate destination? The Zone Where Normal Things Don't Happen Very Often.*

[Meta Nuva]

Gali: Whatever you say, Postman.

Lewa: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not The Postman.

 

Poor Postman. I wonder if he heard that, because he is ordering meat in the back of the room.

 

I'm sure he doesn't care .

 

 

Riskaz: Well, she spoke a lot of you and a lot of some horse named Epona and how she didn't want Epona to get hurt because of you. She threatened me if I tried to keep her from Epona. So I took this old book, threw it at her head, and then left her to wander around Ga-Metru.

 

Is that really how Ilia lost her memory? :inallseriousness:

 

 

*Zant is in his quarters… playing with his actual action figure series for Twilight Delinquent. He's got the Lewa figure, the Nokama figure, the Midna figure in her true form with her face hidden in her cloak, and of course the Zant figure with special helmet.*

Zant:
(as himself) At last, Midna, I have you in my clutches. And now you will be forced to love me and marry me and live happily ever after!
(as Midna) No, Zant, I hate you! Get away from me, I'll never love you!
(as himself) No! You're mine now!
(as Lewa) I won't let you love-marry her, Lord Helmet!
(as himself) Toa Lewa! I knew you would get here! Well, no matter, because you're not as cool as me! *beats up Lewa action figure*
(as Lewa) No! I lost to your awesomeness!
(as himself) Yes, and I did it all in a few seconds while barely moving!
(as Nokama) Oh, no, you killed my boyfriend!
(as himself) Oh, yeah? Well, now I'll kill you, too! *he beats up the Nokama figure the same way, then placing her next to the Lewa figure.*
(as Nokama) Oh, no, you're so strong and handsome, there was no way I could ever keep up with you!
(as himself) And don't you forget it. Now, Midna, at last we are alone.
(as Midna) No, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! And yet… I find you strangely attractive.
(as himself) Of course you do. I have money and power, and you're a sucker for both and you know it! Now kiss me!
(as Midna) No, leave me alone, you monster!
(as himself) No, kiss me now! You can't deny that you love me!
(as Midna) Oh, Zant… your voice is so sexy, and your helmet is so big…

*Just then a Shadow Beast barges into Zant's quarters.*

Shadow Beast: Lord Helmet!

*Zant, scared out of his wits, quickly grabs his figures and hides them underneath his arms*

Zant: WHAT?!

Shadow Beast: They've gotten all the mirror shards.

Zant: Knock on my door next time, or I'll personally put you in the washing machine and hang you out to dry!

Shadow Beast: Yes, sir.

Zant: Did you see anything?

Shadow Beast: No, I didn't see you playing with your dolls.

 

 

Funniest part of the whole comedy^.

 

Good last three chappys. This is truly a great comedy.

 

Oh wait: I finished the game!!!

 

~LTT~ 

[ShadowBionics]

 

Gali: Whatever you say, Postman.

Lewa: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not The Postman.

 

Poor Postman. I wonder if he heard that, because he is ordering meat in the back of the room.

 

I'm sure he doesn't care .

 

 

Riskaz: Well, she spoke a lot of you and a lot of some horse named Epona and how she didn't want Epona to get hurt because of you. She threatened me if I tried to keep her from Epona. So I took this old book, threw it at her head, and then left her to wander around Ga-Metru.

 

Is that really how Ilia lost her memory? :inallseriousness:

 

 

*Zant is in his quarters… playing with his actual action figure series for Twilight Delinquent. He's got the Lewa figure, the Nokama figure, the Midna figure in her true form with her face hidden in her cloak, and of course the Zant figure with special helmet.*

Zant:
(as himself) At last, Midna, I have you in my clutches. And now you will be forced to love me and marry me and live happily ever after!
(as Midna) No, Zant, I hate you! Get away from me, I'll never love you!
(as himself) No! You're mine now!
(as Lewa) I won't let you love-marry her, Lord Helmet!
(as himself) Toa Lewa! I knew you would get here! Well, no matter, because you're not as cool as me! *beats up Lewa action figure*
(as Lewa) No! I lost to your awesomeness!
(as himself) Yes, and I did it all in a few seconds while barely moving!
(as Nokama) Oh, no, you killed my boyfriend!
(as himself) Oh, yeah? Well, now I'll kill you, too! *he beats up the Nokama figure the same way, then placing her next to the Lewa figure.*
(as Nokama) Oh, no, you're so strong and handsome, there was no way I could ever keep up with you!
(as himself) And don't you forget it. Now, Midna, at last we are alone.
(as Midna) No, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! And yet… I find you strangely attractive.
(as himself) Of course you do. I have money and power, and you're a sucker for both and you know it! Now kiss me!
(as Midna) No, leave me alone, you monster!
(as himself) No, kiss me now! You can't deny that you love me!
(as Midna) Oh, Zant… your voice is so sexy, and your helmet is so big…

*Just then a Shadow Beast barges into Zant's quarters.*

Shadow Beast: Lord Helmet!

*Zant, scared out of his wits, quickly grabs his figures and hides them underneath his arms*

Zant: WHAT?!

Shadow Beast: They've gotten all the mirror shards.

Zant: Knock on my door next time, or I'll personally put you in the washing machine and hang you out to dry!

Shadow Beast: Yes, sir.

Zant: Did you see anything?

Shadow Beast: No, I didn't see you playing with your dolls.

 

 

Funniest part of the whole comedy^.

 

Good last three chappys. This is truly a great comedy.

 

Oh wait: I finished the game!!!

 

~LTT~ 

 

No, not really. He's sort of used to people being weirded out by him. Plus in this story he's not actually right there in the clear, able to hear what they're saying.

 

In the actual game, that's not it. For this story, it is how she lost her memory. I don't even remember what happened in the actual game that made her lose her memory, so I had to improvise.

 

Well, good to hear you finished the game. I wouldn't want to spoil the game for anyone or things like that.

 

Okay, now we get to the moment I've personally been waiting for. Chapter 24. I've held almost nothing back (there are some things I deemed to be too dark for this story) and pulled the punches. Now one thing to note is this chapter is one of the darkest things I've written, in the sense that it features Zant going full-out insane. While humorous to some, might be frightening and not-so humorous to others. 

 

Also another thing to note is that I have consulted the "old me" to help in the writing of this chapter. For those who are familiar with my old writings in 2006-2010, then you might have an idea of what might go on. For those who aren't... you're in for a ride.

*After being dragged into the Zone Where Normal Things Don't Happen Very Often via the Mirror of Twilight, Lewa made his way into the strange realm with orange-yellow twilight skies and black clinkers all around.*

Lewa: They weren't kidding when they said normal things don't happen here.

Midna: Lewa, before you go any further, can I ask a favor? See, since I sort of left my people, got turned into an imp, and basically live in shame, is it all right if I hide in your Toa shadow?

Lewa: That's fine. Wait… so if I turned into a wolf, would, you show yourself?

Midna: … Don't turn into a wolf.

*As Lewa makes his way towards the Palace of Twilight, he notices is very large, armored guard.*

Midna: Wait, this guy isn't an enemy.

Lewa: But he's scaring me! 

Midna: He's just been made this way by Zant's spell… How could he do this?

Lewa: He's evil and insane.

Midna: No, I mean how could he do this? The idea and mechanics behind it are just perplexing. 

Lewa: We won't worry about that now. We have to sneak-pass through whatever things Zant has guarding this place.

*So, one trip involving two glowing spheres with the power of the sun with no giant stone hands chasing Lewa and scaring me whatsoever later…*

Lewa, cowering in fear: I won't be the same ever again…

*With the two spheres called Sols in place, power was transferred to the Master Sword, lacing it with light. Now Lewa could go through the Palace of Twilight without being afraid of the dark. And after he stopped cowering in fear, that is exactly what he did. He eventually made his way into the palace throne room, where he met with Zant and his big chair.*

Zant: Heh heh heh heh heh heh. Hee hee ha ha ha! HA HA HA HA HA Ho ha ha ha ho ha!

Lewa: … Are you done?

Zant: Yes, that's enough evil laughter for now. So, hero, it looks like you've made it. I have to admit, you got much further than I originally thought you would. 

Midna: Well, Zant, you thought shattering the Mirror of Twilight and putting a curse on Lewa would stop us, but it turns out it only made us that much stronger and effective. You might think you're all smart and powerful, but the fact of the matter is you're an insane loon who chases after fairy tales. Always have been… always will be.

Zant: If it's because of what we had and because of what I did to your father, all I have to say is get over with it and move on!

Lewa: What happened?

Zant: Oh, she's made because I devoured her father in a fit of rage and because she and I were best friends.

Lewa: Who eats someone? That's cannibalism!

Zant: No, it's not, it's survival!

Midna: That was my father! And I trusted you!

Zant: Oh, come on, we all do silly things like that now and again, don't we?

Lewa: Actually, cannibalism is looked down on in society, so frankly you should be toss-thrown in jail or an asylum.

Zant: You know… I'm tired of everyone calling me insane…

*Zant gets off from his throne, and the mouth of his helmet retracts. Then the rest of his mask retracts, revealing his face for the first time in the series. He no longer spoke in the deep voice his helmet gave him, but in the helium-induced voice his spirit guide apparently told him to have so he could have respect.*

Zant: I am a very emotionally stable individual. You can even ask my spirit guide, Princess Luna.

Female Voice: Of course, you are, Lord Helmet. They must be made to see this…

*However, no one but Zant can currently hear her, so Midna and Lewa only hear silence and look at him in shock.*

Zant: See? The princess says I'm fine.

Midna: If you're trying to convince us, you're not doing a good job of it.

Zant: You're just jealous that I have all the powers of a deity, this temple, sovereign rule of the Twilight Realm, and this big chair! I get to sit in this big chair while all of you sit in your little chairs!

Lewa: Well, I do like that chair.

Midna: Lewa! Don't root for the bad guy!

Lewa: It's a nice chair, come on.

Midna: Well, anyways, it looks like you've really gone mad with power, Zant. Seeing as you were pretty much insane from before, that's saying something. 

Zant: So what if I am a little off? You're going to kill me for being too crazy?

Lewa: That's beside the point. You're a threat to all of Metru Nui and possibly this universe, so I have to take you down.

Zant: You forget one thing, hero. The last time we had a scruff, not only did I beat and humiliate you, but I did it under 10 seconds without even moving. I even took down that light spirit while I was at it.

Lewa: That was a long time ago, and I've learned so much since then.

Zant: It was last week.

Lewa: I learned so much in that one week. I even have the gathered-strength of my ancestor behind me!

Zant: Ah, yes, the legendary Hero of Time I've heard so much about…

Lewa: How do you know?

Zant: My spirit guide warned me about him and you. It seems she and your ancestor have a bit of a bad encounter.

Lewa: And who is she?

Zant: That is not important. You think you can beat me? 

Lewa: But… if you give up peacefully, we can avoid and sort of angry-conflict.

Zant: And give up being king? Are you insane?!

Lewa: Did you ask me that? You, Mr. Crazy?

Zant: You don't understand what it was like to be me! Midna refused to love me, no one respected me, and only my spirit guide ever listened to me! Before, I was nothing but a crazy lunatic!

Midna: "Before?"

Zant: Shut up, I have a big chair! I was a laughing stock and I couldn't fit in anywhere. No one wanted to interact with me. The serial killers, the asylum patients, the guy who lived next to me who wore tin foil blathering about the mothership… they all though I was insane! They said I would never amount to anything and I'd waste away for the rest of my life! After the king banished me to space camp for 1,000 hours, I was kicked out of all sorts of country clubs and social gatherings. I couldn't take it anymore… then one day… I met… him.

*flashback.*

*Zant is walking out to his balcony, not wearing his helmet and looking very depressed.*

Zant, voice-over: I remember that day like it was just yesterday. It wasn't though, and it was more of a mid-Thursday afternoon.

Zant: I can't take it anymore! I'm not welcome anywhere! Is there any place that can accept me?! Wait… there might be one place…

*a few minutes later…*

Zant: I can't believe the department of sociality and experimentation didn't want me! This is all your fault, stupid head! I'm going to bang my head against the floor repeatedly! That'll show everyone I'm not crazy! *banging head on the floor* Stupid head, stupid head, stupid head, stupid head…!

*That's interrupted when a giant cloud of Antidermis appears right before him.*

Zant: That wasn't there before, was it?

Antroz: You there. Bowling pin head. I need some help here.

Zant: By the heavens… what are you?

Antroz: Oh, well, you see--

Zant: Are you some kind of deity? 

Antroz: What? No. See, my name is Antroz--

Zant: What's it like to be a higher power?

Antroz: I'm actually a Makuta--

Zant: Can you make it rain?!

Antroz: I just told you--

Zant: Can I have chocolate?!

Antroz: No.

Zant: Chocolate rain!

Antroz: What are you talking about?!

Zant: Can you share your divine wisdom with me?

Antroz: I told you, I'm not a higher power. I was banished here by some lazy sages.

Zant: What is the meaning of life?

Antroz: All right, fine, I'm a deity!

Zant: How do I know you're not lying…?

Antroz: That's it, I'm going somewhere else!

Zant: You're going to leave me, just like my faith. You have to be some kind of deity then!

Antroz: What kind of nutcase are you?!

Zant: I have voices in my head. One of them tells me to burn things and speaks French.

Antroz: I see… Well, I guess that means you'll be insane enough to go with whatever I tell you to do. I guess there's no harm on letting me in on my plan.

Zant: Yes, mighty Antroz.

Antroz: You see, in this form I'm unable to use the Triforce of Power, so I need to regain strength to return to my physical form. I've formulated and elaborate plan for ultimate domination. If I were to pass on some of my remaining power to you, you can then carry out my plan and return me to my physical form.

Zant: I will do anything for you.

Antroz: So are you truly willing to do this for me?

Zant: Well, I might have to ask my mother first. Mom, is it okay if I carry out a divine mission and take this being's power? (womanly voice) Sure, dear, just be home in time for dinner. (normal voice) Thanks, Mom. Okay, I can go.

Antroz: … I've been wandering about the Twilight Realm for so many years, and you're the first being I run into.

Zant: I know! How lucky are you?!

Antroz, thinking: Wow, how messed up is this guy's mind? I'm almost tempted to scan his mind, but then I'm afraid I might mentally injure myself by doing so.

*end flashback.*

Zant: So now you see why I have to take over Metru Nui. My powers were a divine gift, and only a fool would go against the will of a deity!  You think I'm crazy, now do you? Well… maybe I'm not the crazy one. Maybe all of you are crazy! And I'm the only sane person left!

Midna: You devoured my father.

Zant: Yeah, I guess I am very insane. I don't know what I was thinking. 

Lewa: How can you be even more whack-crazy than you already are?! I don't wanna save Metru Nui anymore! I want to go home!

Midna: How is it possible to be more insane that you are now?!

Zant: Don't worry, I'm sure they're plenty of time before....

*That's when Zant suddenly turns his head and stops moving.*

Lewa: Zant? Lord Helmet?

Midna: Oh, no…

Zant: That's odd. I feel mellow right now.

Lewa: Oh, that's great!

Zant: Yeah, I know, imagine if I just went full-out insane?

*Both laughing nervously.*

*Zant, however, starts to cry and then he lets out a painful shriek.*

Zant: Get them out, get them out! Stop the voices in my head! They're all telling me what to do and who to be!  I can't listen to them anymore! Everyone's staring at me! Why are they all staring at me?! I can't take this kind of pressure!

*Zant then starts to bend and twist his body around.*

Zant: Who turned the world upside down?! I'm scared and I don't know where everything is anymore!

*Zant stops and starts hopping up and down.*

Zant: I'm a little bunny rabbit.

*Zant then stops and breaks into a spinning motion, racing over behind Lewa and Midna.*

Zant: I never wanted to be an evil king! I just wanted to be a dancer for Cascada!

*Well, we went 24 chapters without a Cascada reference, so that's a good record, right?*

Lewa: What's going on?

Zant: This is all your fault!

Lewa: Please don't take my body and break my back over your knee!

Zant: Why would I? You already broke my heart! *crying hysterically*

*Zant stops crying and leans back all the way.*

Zant: Limbo time!

Lewa: Midna, I'm scared.

Zant: Solo time! (singing/imitating Rihanna) You sank my ship in a hopeless place. You sank my ship in a hopeless place. You sank my ship in a hopeless place…

Midna: Don't worry, while he was pretending to be a dancer, I managed to steal the fused shadows from him. He can't concentrate on us while he's going insane.

Female voice: No, but I can…

*That time, Midna and Lewa did hear her voice. Lewa felt as though he heard that voice before. His fears were realized when he saw the Kanohi Mask of Death floating in front of him. He nearly fell over when he saw the mask take the form of a female warrior clad in red/black armor.*

Elitha: Did you miss me?

Lewa: You… you can't be real… you can't! You're dead! My ancestor killed you!

Elitha, sinister giggle: He was a fool, and I see it runs in the family. He thought he killed me, but I didn't die. While he did severely weaken me, I managed to barely survive. 

*Elitha disappeared into the shadows.*

Midna: Who is this?

Lewa: The Night Nurse herself…

*Elitha then reappeared from the shadows, right behind Lewa, and puts her scissor scythe against the front of his neck, bringing him closer towards her.*

Elitha: My, it is good to see someone still remembers me. I thought all this time I was forgotten.

Lewa: How could I forget you? I've been scared-haunted with nightmares of you and this yelling guy for the last few days! 

*Elitha giggles sinisterly as she lets Lewa go and backs off. Lewa quickly turns around to face her.*

Midna: So you're the one Zant has been going on about as a spirit guide?

Elitha: Yes. We're kindred spirits, he and I. Both of us were shunned by society. So I called out to him so he could help me. He was particularly interested in you, Midna. I told him he would have whatever his heart desired as long as he helped me get off the moon. That's a promise I intend to keep…

Midna: I don't know who you are, but you're just as insane as he is if you think I'd ever have any kind of feelings for him, especially after everything he's done.

Elitha: Have it your way then… I underestimated your ancestor, hero. This time, I'm not going to take the challenge lightly. No summoning the Seinfeld team, no dance contests, just straight out battling.

Lewa: Sounds good to me.

Elitha: Not so fast. I made the mistake of taking on your hero of time in this form. He defeated me due to my hubris. I'm not going to make that mistake again. This time…

*Elitha turns her eyes on Zant, whose mind was virtually shredded.*

Lewa: You wouldn't!

Elitha: I would!

*Elitha quickly reverts to her spirit form, retreating into the mask, and then racing over to Zant, slamming over his face, forcing his helmet to close around her mask, and then she forces him to stand up straight.*

Elitha: The Night Nurse is in…

Edited by ShadowBionics, Dec 20 2012 - 11:40 PM.

[ShadowBionics]

Judging by how there's no comments, I imagine everyone is freaked out by chapter 24. Well, I guess now you know the power of the old ShadowBionics who was insane and a fan of some singer you never heard of. 

 

Chapter 25 is toned down compared to that. 

 

 

*Lewa was taken back, not only seeing Zant go full-out insane, but seeing that the spirit guide he rambled on about was an enemy who was supposed to be dead, killed by his ancestor the Hero of Time. Now she was back, directing Zant, and now using him as a puppet for revenge. As Zant/Elitha rose into the air, the puppet Zant raised his arms out and teleported Lewa back to the Forest Temple.*

Lewa: Why are we here again?

Elitha: I'm going to make your death be just oh-so nice and slow, that's all…

Zant: Stop the voices in my head!!!

Elitha: Shut up, you!

Midna: Whoever she is, just ignore her. She's trying to psyche you out. Plus I don't think she can hold onto Zant for too long…

Lewa: You're right. Plus she's just being lazy by re-using past battles. Well, in that case…

*As Elitha forces Zant to fire black fire at Lewa, he manages to roll out of the way and use the Gale Boomerang to reel them in, delivering a few good slashes to Zant. After taking a beating, Elitha/Zant decides to take it to another battle ground, going to the floating disk in the mines, where Lewa encountered Fang and the Fire Lord.*

Fire Lord: I'm still alive…!

Elitha: Try this on for size…

*Elitha forces Zant to start jumping up and down in an attempt to make Lewa fall to his doom, but Lewa manages to get on the iron boots just in time.*

Zant: The wonderful thing about Tiggers--

Elitha: Would you please be quiet? I'm trying to help you here!

*Between arguing and jumping up and down, they both get tired and stop jumping. Lewa takes the time to run over there without the iron boots and deliver a few more slashes to the dark pair. That prompts Elitha to choose another battle ground, this time in the Lakebed temple.*

*Before Lewa can do anything, his adaptive armor changes to fit his underwater surroundings, so he didn't need that armor King Krulloc made. As Lewa drifts to the sea floor, these four giant Zant heads rise from the ground as a tribute to Unicron's stupid head. Catching Lewa off guard, Elitha/Zant fires at Lewa from one of the stupid heads with black fire… which totally doesn't make sense, but hey, Karzahni had chains that could burn underwater, so whatever.*

Gwonam: These are the faces of…

Over-dubbed voice: DINNER.

Elitha/Zant: SHUT UP!!! 

*Elitha/Zant takes a moment to take Elitha's scissor scythe and use instant death on Gwonam, which worked first try despite having only a 1% chance of working. Sadly, while they were distracted, Lewa takes the moment to use the clawshot to bring Zant closer and deliver a few slashes as Elitha/Zant tries to flounder away.*

Zant: FLOUNDER!!!

Elitha: You are so random!

*When Elitha manages to get away, she has Zant teleport them all once more, this time back to the forest temple and back to where Lewa fought Ook in what was one of the most immature fights of all time. So immature, it was edited out for the sake of time. Zant is jumping from totem pole to totem pole, and then does the Dance of Healing each time he stops.*

Zant: Shake shake shake. Shake shake shake. Shake your whole sefl.

Lewa and Midna:

Elitha: Keep up with me!

Lewa: Are you talking to me or him?

Elitha: I don't even know anymore! *groans in frustration.*

Midna: Looks like Zant isn't as weak-minded as you thought. In fact, I think his mind is a lot stronger than yours.

Elitha: Insolent girl! How dare you even say that! I am in control here!

Midna: No, you're not… Zant is. And more importantly, he's just a puppet for Antroz.

Elitha, struggling: His power… doesn't surpass… my own…

*And unfortunately, by trying to resist Zant's insane mind, Elitha ends up hurting her own mind in the process, leaving her susceptible to the insanity that plagues Zant… one that she helped to harbor with her insane ideas and life-style changes. Elitha's mind, once belonging to a shy, timid Matoran girl who was hurt and lost… now consumed…*

Zant: You sank my ship in a hopeless place…

Elitha: You sank my ship in a hopeless place…

Both: You sank my ship in a hopeless place…

*Lewa takes the time to roll into the totem pole Zant was on, knocking the both of them off and giving him a chance to deliver a few more slashes. Before long, Elitha has Zant teleport away and this time to an icy arena. Elitha then uses a combination of her powers and Antroz's given powers to make Zant turn into a giant.*

Zant: I wanna step on all the little people! 

Elitha: There you are, my lovelies!

*Elitha/Zant starts trying to step on Lewa, just thinking for a moment, he tries a series of ridiculous strategies that failed, up until the ball and chain, hurting Zant's foot and making him shrink back down to size as he clutches his hurting foot in pain.*

Zant: The little man hurt me, mommy!

Elitha: Don't worry, my little Zant, mama's here…

Midna: Yup, I knew she would go insane sometime soon…

*Lewa runs after the hobbling Zant to deliver a few more swift slashes. It wasn't before long that Elitha teleported them all to one last battle arena, this one being outside of the Coliseum. Zant looked madly around at his surroundings before Elitha gifted him with two broadswords. And that's when Elitha and Zant let loose. Doing a combination of a lot of blind, fury attacks and Elitha's Night Nurse dance, Zant was truly going off the walls.*

Lewa: Maybe if we're lucky, they'll destroy each other.

Midna: Yeah, but you never know, they might still somehow survive.

*After Zant is done going upside down and bouncing off the ceiling, he stops to take a rest, allowing Lewa enough time to rush over and deliver the final slashes. Zant starts hopping up and down before he finally falls…*

Elitha: I'm a little bunny rabbit… Night nurse go night night…

*Elitha's power returns them all to the Palace of Twilight, where Midna was expecting she would be returned to normal with Zant defeated. She was shocked when she wasn't. Her thoughts were interrupted when she saw Zant, unmasked and sitting on the big chair, laughing at her.*

Zant: You didn't think it'd be that easy, did you?

Midna: Um… YEAH?!

Zant: You foolish princess, this goes beyond me. This is all his magic… as long as I serve my master, Antroz, he will bring me back in an endless cycle and you will never be normal again. And as long as Princess Luna is by my side, I shall live forever! And I will sit on this big chair forever!!!

Elitha, singing: If you wanna dance with me, get ready, there's a party tonight. Whoa… We're gonna dance so free, let's do it for the very first time. Whoa… 

Zant: That's right! We're going to party tonight! And it will be a glorious FEAST!!!

*Angered greatly at Zant, Midna accidentally taps into the power of the Fused Shadows, causing her hair to turn into sharp spears, which rush right at Zant, impaling him in the chest, causing him to inflate and then explode into nothing.*

Midna and Lewa: O_O Holy Mata Nui.

Elitha, singing: This is the Summer of Love… Whoa… I feel my heart is dancing…

Lewa: What did you do?!

Midna: I don't know… I was just so angry that I just… The Fused Shadows… *laughing* Man, did you see that?! The power of my ancestors did that! 

Lewa: You killed him!

Midna: He just went like a beach ball! *she imitates the sound of a beach ball inflating, and then makes an exploding sound.* BOOM! He just popped!

Lewa: This isn't funny.

Midna: You're right. It's hilarious!

Lewa: I don't understand you! And speaking of that, what do we do about Miss Crazy here?

*Elitha turns to see Lewa and she stops singing and gasps upon seeing him.*

Elitha: It's the space angel!

Midna: I can pop her, too.

Lewa: No! Haven't you done enough already?

*Elitha walks over to Lewa and falls in his arms, laughing stupidly.*

Elitha: Come on, Mr. Space Angel… let's get out of here. Mr. Big Chair is no fun and three Midna's are definitely a crowd. We can be SO HAPPY together… Okay…?

*Elitha looks into Lewa's eyes with endearment, blushing as her green eyes meet his.*

Lewa: Uh… is this insane-crazy thing supposed to be forever?

Midna: I'm not sure. I'd think it'd be only temporary. If she was weak-minded, Zant would have easily broken her. But while she did have some dominance, she still struggled. I'd say give her about a few days before she's normal again.

Lewa: But what do we do about her now? I can't have her all over me!

Midna: I don't know. But it's not like she's harming anyone now.

*Elitha starts trying to cuddle with Lewa, but Lewa tries to break free from her. This only makes Elitha's grip stronger, however.*

Lewa: She's going to squeeze-suffocate me if she doesn't stop getting all near-close to me.

Midna: Relax, she's just like a little puppy dog. I think she likes you.

Lewa: Shut up! She's not little!

Midna: Well, I imagine being alone on the moon would cause her some kind of loneliness. 

Lewa: Argh…

[ShadowBionics]

Chapter 26 where we head into the final battle. Lewa also picks up an extra partner along the way. And not much of interest to say about that chapter aside from how long it originally took me to write this about a month and a half ago.

 

 

*After Lewa challenged Zant-Elitha and witnessed Midna using the power of the fused shadows to impale Zant…*

Midna: *imitates explosion* Like a beach ball! 

*Lewa set off to the Metru Nui Coliseum to challenge Zant's other puppet master and end the reign of terror once and for all.*

Lewa: Hold-stop! What about… her?

Elitha, stupid giggle: All the black squares look like little people. They're telling me to kill everyone I see… except for you, Mr. Space Angel. I love you. *She continues to snuggle Lewa.*

Midna: Well, what do you want to do? I mean, I doubt she can cause any real harm in her delirious state.

Lewa: But what about when she snaps out of it? Then she'll be track-hunting me down to kill me!

Midna: Okay, well, since you're that worried… Why don't we just bring her along?

Lewa: What for?

Midna: She won't be in the Twilight Realm and when she does snap out of it, you can just take her down when she least suspects it.

Lewa: Okay, that might work.

Midna: And maybe if we're lucky, this Antroz guy might take care of her for us.

Lewa: All right, I'll bring her along, but I won't like it.

*So Lewa, Midna, and a confused Elitha take the Mirror of Twilight back to Metru Nui, but before Lewa could go to the Coliseum, he decided to go ahead and finish up some unfinished business.*

Lewa: All right, so I got all your golden bugs. Now what?

Agitha: Thank you so much! Take this giant wallet!

Lewa: Just what I need to hold all the money I got from giving you the bugs.

*Just outside the fortune teller's place…*

Midna: Why are we here? Shouldn't we be… oh, I don't know, saving the world??

Lewa: In time, Midna. Besides, we still have to explore what open to us. And what better time to do side quests than when the world is in danger-peril?!

*So Lewa steps in and he meets the fortune teller…*

Lewa: Greeting, all-seeing fortune teller.

Fortune Teller: (speaking Huttenese)

Lewa: O_O I've never been so insulted in all my life! Good day to you!

Midna: What did she say?

Lewa: You don't want to know.

Elitha: A plague onto your houses!!

*Elitha, in her confused rage, sets the fortune teller's place on fire.*

Lewa: See? Told you?

Midna: Well, as I told you, as long as she's with us, she can't get into too much trouble.

Lewa: What do you call that over there?

Midna: Ah, no one ever goes there anyway. Not when there's perfectly good game guides out there.

*After the chaos that went down in the market place, Lewa works his way back to the Coliseum, which is still trapped inside a yellow prism sort of force field.*

Lewa: Well, here's the place. But how do we get inside there?

Elitha: It's the magical shininess the shiny! 

Midna: It'll have to take some kind of ancient magic to break this down.

*And in the irony of her words, the fused shadows react, camping over her helmet and suddenly throwing her around like a rag doll and behind a wall until she arises again and a large, scary, freakish, seven-armed Twilight arachnid (which is a misnomer since it doesn't have 8 limbs, but whatever).*

Elitha: Scary!!!

Lewa: And my ancestor and I were afraid of you?

*Spider-Midna begins to scale the prism and then forms a dark spear, breaking through the prism and shattering it. Upon doing so, the rain begins to fall and Midna powers back down, waking up in Lewa's arms.*

Lewa: You went night-night.

Midna: So…?

*The both of them look over at the looming structure of the Coliseum as the rain poured down from the twilight skies. They both knew what was ahead of them. Elitha however was sad over the prism being shattered into 6,924,692,851 pieces. Midna hid back in Lewa's shadow as he took his first steps towards the looming structure. Elitha, scared of being alone, followed him.*

*As always, the front door was locked, so Lewa had to go and find the key to get inside. So Lewa had to work his way through the courtyard where he eventually found himself running into King Bulblin, who did not look very good shape.*

King Bulblin: So we meet at again for the last time.

Lewa: What happened to you? Why is your voice so high-pitched? And why are your horns sawed off?

King Bulblin: Let's see you survive falling down 50 times. And plus didn't you know helmets make your voice deeper?

Lewa: Oh… right… I forgot about that.

*Lewa engaged in combat with King Bulblin one last time, knocking him around a bit before he yielded.*

King Bulblin: Enough.

Lewa: What? But that was only like 5 seconds.

King Bulblin: Yeah? Well, I just realized I'm tired of this. Take this key to the front door.

*He throws over a key on a rope. That was easy.*

Lewa: But why…?

King Bulblin: I fight for the strongest side. That is all I've ever known.

*With that, he gets on his Bulbo and he rides off.*

Midna: Well, that was odd.

Lewa: Yes it was. But I got a key out of it!

*So with that, Lewa worked his way through the other side of the Coliseum grounds, but not before he found a very darkening sight.*

*Lewa stopped at a rather large grave and read the inscribed text.*

Lewa: "Here lies the cursed swordsman. He died of many sorrows and regrets. And kidney failure caused by a fairy."

*After paying his respects to his fallen ancestor, he made his way through the front door with Elitha still following him.*

Lewa: Wow, it' so… dark.

Midna: No wonder, the chandelier isn't lit up.

*Elitha fires at the chandelier, setting it on fire.*

Lewa: Why are you nuke-burning everything?!

Elitha: Because the butterflies in my head tell me to burn things, Mr. Space Angel.

Lewa: … I can't even say anything at this point.

*Lewa looks around and he spies a burlap sack. Taking the sack, he then stuffs Elitha inside of it and then locks her in a nearby closet.*

Midna: Why did you do that?

Lewa: I can't have her torch-fire at everything in sight. Plus she'll only slow us down. She'll be safe in there. 

Midna: Well… all right. I still can't help but feel kind of bad about mistreating that girl.

Lewa: She's over 200 years old. She's not a girl.

Midna: She sounds, looks, and behaves like a young woman. 

Lewa: I don't really know, but I don't care right now. She's staying in the closet!

*So Lewa runs around the Coliseum trying to solve the various puzzles set up by Antroz to keep anyone out. Of course, it wasn't anything too hard. They were all those kinds of puzzles where Antroz just basically came in and say "Oh, hey, Lewa, come right in. And here's some stuff to make you think, but nothing too challenging."*

*Oh, and there were also some Darknuts present.*

Both Darknuts, imitating Christian Bale: Where is he?!

Lewa: Oh, no, not this again. :/

Both Darknuts: Take me to Bane!

Lewa: I don't have time for you!

*Lewa does his best to fight them as he did the first one in the Temple of Time, but it was harder considering there were two of them. Eventually, Lewa manages to get rid of armor from both of them, and like before they both throw away their giant swords.*

Lewa: Ha! You just got rid of your only weapons!

Both Darknuts: Oh, really? *They unsheathe some smaller rapier-like swords.*

Lewa: I forgot about that.

*Lewa takes them out like before, getting hit every so often, but it was nothing that could keep him down. Eventually, he defeats them both and they fall as the other one did.*

Both Darknuts: A hero can be anyone. Even a man doing something as simple and reassuring as putting a coat around a little boy's shoulders to let him know that the world hadn't ended.

Lewa: When you have stopped quoting the Batman movies… then you have my permission to die.

*Lewa leaves the room, taking whatever else he can take and he moves forward through the Coliseum.

[ShadowBionics]

Chapter 27. There's more story. And I'm gonna post it. 

 

 

*Lewa resumed his excursion of the Metru Nui Coliseum, desperately trying to make his way to face the evilother puppet master of the late Zant. He was still doing everything and anything he could to get through. His exploration brought him outside where the twilight skies continued to pour rain upon him.*

Lewa: Where is that key?! I can't find it! I've been run-scaling this place and can't find anything. I got all these small keys, but not the one I want!

*That's when Lewa stumbles across a cage of a lone tower, protecting a familiar treasure chest. However, it opens to reveal two Lizafos and two Bulbin archers.*

Lewa: This won't end well.

*Lewa closed his eyes, expecting to be killed, as one of the archers fired a fire arrow at him. Lewa was shocked when he heard the arrow fall to the ground. He opened his eyes and stopped being a coward to see that the two archers were then taken out by arrows. As the Lizafos continued to run at him, they were blown up by a bazooka blast.*

*Lewa turned around to see a hawk flying overhead, going over to a familiar face…*

Rusl: Hello, Lewa.

Pohatu: Bazooka power!

Nuju: Nuju here.

Nikila: Ugh… I can, like, snipe things with a bow and arrow.

Lewa: Um… what? Pohatu has a bazooka. Nikila has a bow and arrow… which isn't cannon. Freak-face is suddenly a rahi-tamer. Nothing makes sense! And why did you choose now to actually do something to help me?! I've wanted help throughout the whole adventure, and I didn't get anything from you! 

Rusl: Oh, we're not going to help you. We just wanted to make a cameo appearance before the end of the story. 

Pohatu: Yup. We're going to go back to doing nothing until the last chapter.

Lewa: Really?

Nikila: Yeah… You're more trouble than you're worth. You're worse than my crazy boyfriend who froze himself.

Lewa: Well… okay then.

Fang: Thought I'd drop in and make a cameo, too, before the end of this whole little story.

Lewa: All right. Hey, whatever works for you, is fine by me. So we're agreed?

Fang: Sure.

Rusl: Yup.

Nikila: Yeah.

Nuju: Certainly.

Pohatu: Bazooka power!

Lewa: Then if you'll excuse me, I've got a world to save.

Fang: Well, good luck, then, Mr. Hero. Been there, done that.

Nikila: Really?

Fang: Yeah. Just ask Vanille, me, and everyone else from our party.

*So Lewa went and got the key to the final door and was now able to face off against the dark lord. Before doing that directly, he stumbled on a secret room, which he proceeded to raid, taking all the treasures and taking potions from the cauldrons with his bottles. And he found a fairy, too.*

Lewa, holding up bottle to audience: Is this okay, mommy?

Midna: Are you going to keep doing that?

Lewa: Whoa, you just spoke!

Midna: Yeah, but that's not the point.

Lewa: This is the last time, I promise.

*Lewa proceeded to make his way to the last door, using his spinner to get through some obstacles on a spinner track, eventually making his way right in front of it.

Lewa: I cannot tell a lie. I was scared that day. That day I stood at the boss door. I took a look back at those spinny-top things and thought I'd never again see something so small and full of life ever again. But I had made my decision. So with my own two hands, I grabbed the door that was two times my size and three times my weight…

Midna: What are you doing?

Lewa: Narrating.

Midna: Why? I mean, what do you think we got the narrator guy for?

Lewa: Okay…

*So Lewa went through the door after trying to sound epic but failing majorly. He was outside again, this time at the highest point of the Coliseum. The winds were furious and the sky was more dangerous-looking than before. Lewa took one last look into the horizon before proceeding up. Again, he had made his decision.*

*Lewa and Midna looked around the destroyed throne room where statues and pillars were fallen and everything looked a mess. Lewa looked up and to his surprise, he saw Nokama's unconscious body atop the statue of the goddesses.*

Lewa: Hey, look, it's Nokama. And her cloak is gone. 

Midna: Wait… why is Nokama even here?

Lewa: Hey, look, it's the red guy from earlier.

*They both look over to see Antroz at the throne (and Midna will never get her question answered because the game designers never gave us a proper answer), resting his head on his palm.*

Midna: I guess I'll blame it on the prophecy so I can sleep better at night.

Lewa: Antroz! We've come to stop you. Your reign of terror is over! Prepare yourself, because the legendary hero has arrived!

*Antroz snoring loudly.*

Lewa: Is… he sleep-snoring?

Midna: Oh, for the love of… Wake up, you lazy oaf!

Antroz, snores: No, sweetums, of course I love you! You know I'll never love anyone else…

Lewa: He's in a deep sleep.

Midna: So how do we wake him up?

Lewa: Can't be harder than waking up Mata Nui.

*rim shot.*

Elitha, stupid laugh: Don't worry, Mr. Space Angel. I'll help you!

*She torches Antroz, immediately waking him up and bringing back some emotional pain from the past.*

Antroz: I'm on fire! I'm literally burning alive here again! Why doesn't anyone ever help me?!

*Lewa uses his air powers to get rid of the fire.*

Antroz: Oh… that's better. Wait… you! Where have you been? I've been sitting in this stone chair for almost two weeks waiting for you! Do you know how bored I was and how cramped my legs feel right now?

Lewa: Hey, don't blame me. Zant slowed us down and made us go through another three dungeons.

Midna: And the Twilight Realm.

Antroz, growls: Are you serious? I ought to wring his neck for that.

Midna: That's won't be necessary.

Antroz: Wait, so you… finished the job?

Midna: Yup. Like a beach ball.

Lewa: Do we have to go through this again?

Antroz: That's too bad. He was funny at times.

Lewa: I thought you wanted to kill him just now.

Antroz: I was talking figuratively. 

*Then out of nowhere, Elitha sneaks up behind Antroz and slaps him in the back, giving him some major pain.*

Antroz: OW!! I'm still hurting from when I was on fire!

Elitha, stupid laugh: You're a very bad boy.

Antroz: Wait… is this who I think it is?

Lewa: Why? Who do you think it is?

Antroz: Of course… I was wondering when you would show yourself again, Elitha. I don't know how long you eluded our former Brotherhood leader for so long.

Midna: Wait, how did she get out of the closet??

Lewa: I told you.

Elitha: You mean… daddy's dead?! *crying loudly.*

Antroz: *shoves Elitha* Yes, he's gone now. I'm in charge now.

Elitha: Who?

Antroz: Me, silly.

Elitha: Me silly, too.

*Elitha shoves Antroz back, causing him more discomfort.*

Antroz: ARGH! Not good, not good!

Lewa: Do you want me to…?

Antroz: No, that's fine. Let's resume. Where was I? Oh, yes… I mean, didn't Zant realize what he was doing? Doesn't he also know how there's literally nothing at all to do here?! I wish I could have brought a TV here, but here I was thinking you might show up and I didn't want to miss you. Do you have any idea what happens? What if I told you there were exactly 3,649,892,503 cracks in the ceiling?!

Lewa: I… don't know what to say…

Antroz: Exactly! It shows you how absolutely bored I was wasting away in here! Do you know how horrible it is to even know such pointless information?! You can't use that in conversation!

Lewa: I'd feel sorry-bad for you, but seeing as you put Zant in charge and thought everything would be cheer-happy for you… I don't. 

Antroz: Oh… you're right! Perhaps I was so obsessed with getting revenge and getting out of the Twilight Realm, I was willing to do anything and everything to make it happen. I probably should have thought that through.

Lewa: Plus, you apparently know Miss Loopy nutjob well.

Antroz: No, she's just some labrat experiment our leader had.

Elitha, giggles: Oh, you're so sweet. 

Antroz: And why is she… stupider?

Midna: She tried to control Zant.

Antroz: Oh… that's like adding two negatives together! She was already a nutjob to begin with, but now she's made it worse!

Lewa: Anyways… so this whole thing is about revenge?

Antroz: Not just revenge. Power.

Lewa: Power?

Antroz: Experience has taught me that power is respected. Plus, with the Triforce of Power, I have easily become the most influential man in all of Metru Nui, and perhaps our whole universe! I've set off to continue Makuta Teridax's great, noble work… with the exception of using Elitha as a tool of revenge.

Elitha, singing: I threw a wish in a well, don't ask me, I'll never tell…

Antroz: With the power over the Twilight Realm, and my Triforce of Power combined, all shall bow down before me in a new world order! Once, I was just a simple lieutenant, but now I am so much more. The new king of shadows! I shall be feared and respected everywhere, and all who oppose me shall perish! My Triforce of Power shall serve as a beacon of chaos all will grow to fear! Then, I will be the ruler of not just this physical world, but the spiritual world as well!

Midna: You're insane. And stupid.

Hero's Shade: And as if we even care-like you. I didn't the first time we met.

Lewa: Ancestor, you're here!

Hero's Shade: Yeah, I couldn't stand Antroz's daft-drabble. 

Elitha: Yoo-hoo! Remember me, handsome?

Hero's Shade: O_O She's still alive?!

Lewa: Yes, but we made her stupider.

Hero's Shade: Hmm… good call.

Antroz: Well, Midna, Lewa and Lewa, I don't care what you think. I will rule the sacred realm! I will rule over the great spirit and the goddesses themselves!!! *panting/ breathing heavily*

Midna: I still think you're insane.

Antroz: Maybe you're right, but it matters not now. My plan will reach its glorious climax and you will all be forced to bow before me… if I haven't taken you out first. Your people amuse me, Midna. So easy to manipulate when it comes to matters of light and shadow.

Midna: You're nothing, Antroz. I won't let you do this and I'll do everything to defy you!

Antroz, laughs: So, the shadow has been turned by light, it seems. How amusing. *obnoxious, continuous laughter.*

Lewa: Were all Makuta like this? He's annoying me.

Hero's Shade: Can't say. He's the only one I ever met.

Antroz: Defy me all you want, Midna, because in the end it doesn't even matter.

Midna: All of you, stop referencing songs!

Antroz: I have the upper hand…

*Antroz looks over to Nokama's unconscious body. Midna, catching on, rushes over to Nokama, levitating up and in front of her to block Antroz. However, Antroz uses the power of the twilight to turn into clinkers and faze right through Midna, going right into Nokama's body.*

Midna: Oh, that's just great… 

*She tries to pull Antroz's presence out, but cannot. So then she resolves to mess with Nokama's face instead. However, that doesn't go over too well.*

Antroz/Nokama: Eye-opening attack.

*Antroz/Nokama opens his/her eyes (I don't even know anymore!!), sending Midna reeling back a few feet. Lewa tries to run over to her, but he is cut off by Antroz's barrier.*

Lewa: What's… going on here?

Antroz/Nokama: Now, hero, there is no use in prolonging the inevitable. 

Lewa: Well, I'm ready for you, Antroz. So is my ancestor!

Hero's Shade: Actually, I can't help you.

Lewa: What?! Why not?

*The Hero's Shade attempts to slash at Antroz, but he does nothing as he is a ghost.*

Hero's Shade: As much as I want to help you takedown Antroz… and I really do… I can't. My sword faze-passes through him. 

Lewa: Oh…

Hero's Shade: I'll continue to watch over you. Make me proud… Put my troubled heart at rest…

*The old adventurer then returns to his spiritual realm as Antroz/Nokama approaches Lewa.*

Antroz/Nokama: Don't worry… you'll soon be joining him.

Elitha: Go get him, Mr. Space Angel!

Lewa, taking Master Sword: I intend to…

[ShadowBionics]

Chapter 28. Heh.

 

 

 

 

*Moments ago, Lewa, Midna, and a stowaway broke into the Metru Nui Coliseum to face off against the evil Antroz, who spelled out his plan all novice villain style. After possessing Nokama, Antroz was ready to face Lewa in what would be a heart-wrenching battle, in the fact that Lewa would have to harm the very individual he was there to save.*

Antroz/Nokama: Ironic, isn't it? You were ready to fight me, but were you ready to fight Nokama? I don't think so…

*As Antroz continues to banter, he has Nokama rise into the air, brandish a sword, and hold it up, ready to concentrate dark energy at Lewa.*

Antroz/Nokama: How will you ever bring yourself to harm your precious Princess Nokama, Lewa? Tell me, it must be difficult to be in such emotional agony…

*As Antroz fires the energy at Lewa, he swings it back at Nokama's body, fully immobilizing Antroz in the process.*

Antroz/Nokama *screaming in pain* What'd you do that for?!

Lewa: Don't you know the rule of RPGs? If the main character's love interest gets possessed by the main villain, the main character attacks the love interest and she is safe while the villain is defeated.

Antroz/Nokama: Oh… I didn't think you'd figure that out…

*Antroz/Nokama trembles upon being lowered to the ground. As that happens, Antroz's barriers fall and Midna starts to get back up again.*

Midna, getting up: Enough of your senseless talking, Antroz. The power of the Twilight compels you!

*Midna uses the Fused Shadows to lash out at Antroz, expunging his spirit from Nokama. Upon doing so, however, Antroz starts to take shape again, but this time in his beast form.*

Lewa: This might be a little edgy…

Midna: So far, this guy seems like a total pushover. Here, I thought we'd be in big trouble. I'm sure this isn't going to be anything bad.

*Antroz, in his dragon form, roars loudly and knocks over a pillar with his tail.*

Midna: Okay… Fine, I'll admit this doesn't look good, but as long as…

Lewa: I want to go home! I'm a hero, not a knight of the round table!

Midna: That did not make sense in any way. Look, I'll help you take him on so you'll feel less afraid. Okay?

Lewa: Okay…

Midna: Good. Now be a good little wolfie and transform into a wolf so we can take him on together.

Lewa: Why?

Midna: Well, it kind of makes sense in my head. He turns into his beast form you turn into yours. Plus, while I'm pretty sure you can take him on as you are now, I'm also pretty sure you're going to be terrified for half the time if you do.

*So Lewa turns into his wolf form as Antroz disappears into an unseen portal.*

Lewa: Oh, now we're thinking with portals.

Midna: Now we just have to know where he's going to be next…

*Several portals appear around Lewa, all of them shimmering. He keeps looking around until he sees that one of them turns blue. At that moment, Antroz comes through, charging right in.*

Lewa: Stay away from me, Mr. Dragon! I never wanted to kill-slay you!

Midna: *sighs* Always got to do things myself.

*Midna uses her shadow hand power to hold back Antroz before throwing him over on his back. That's when she and Lewa notice a scar on his chest, most definitely from when he was stabbed by the sages who don't do anything.*

Midna: There! His obvious weak spot!

Lewa: I don't…

Midna: Do it!

*Lewa, afraid of Midna more than Antroz now, goes over and starts chomping on his scar, delivering some critical damage to him. Antroz flails around before he collapses on the ground again, this time burning into yellow fire. Lewa turns back to normal and walks over to Nokama's unconscious body. Midna starts to glow as she follows Lewa, and then that sparkling energy returns to Nokama, bringing her back to life.*

Midna: My sparklies…

Nokama: Thank you, Midna, for returning my life and my sparklies to me.

Midna: Why can't I have my own sparklies? And wait, wasn't you life energy the only thing keeping me alive?

Nokama, ignoring her: And thank you, Lewa, for braving through these challenges to rescue Metru Nui. I can now see you have become a smart, cunning young warrior.

Midna: Are we talking about the same Lewa here? And why won't anyone answer me?!

Lewa: You're welcome.

*Their thoughts are interrupted by the sound of two hands clapping. Everyone turns around to see Elitha staggering towards them. She then starts laughing a demented laugh.*

Elitha: I have to admit, Lewa, it takes some slight skill to take down a total buffoon like Antroz.

Lewa: Uh…? What happened to Miss Loopy Nutjob?

Elitha: You didn't think the insanity affect was permanent, did you?

Midna: I suspected that.

Lewa: I was hoping it was.

Elitha: Well, you're half right! Part of it still affects me, but I've regained enough of my sanity to get back on track.

Lewa: Why do you want to kill me?

Elitha: It's not just you. It's everyone, Lewa. Especially the Brotherhood… they ruined my life and I can't let them get away with that. They ruined me!

Lewa: You have done that yourself.

Elitha: You will not take this moment away from me!

Lewa: Your anger and lust for power have already done that. You've let this "King of Shadows" twist-warp your mind until now… Now you've become the very evil you seek to destroy.

Elitha: Don't lecture me, Lewa. You don't know what it's like. 

Lewa: Elitha, Chancellor Teridax is evil!

Elitha: From my point of view, the Toa are evil!

*Elitha fires a shadow bolt from her scissor scythe, almost hitting Lewa until he jumps out of the way, making her shadow bolt his a pillar and making it crumble to dust.*

Elitha: Hold still! 

Lewa: Why should I?

Elitha: Relax. This won't hurt a bit!

*Elitha tries again, just making Lewa jump out of the way again. Elitha starts chasing after him, firing chain lighting at him, but Lewa simply dodges it again. She then takes flight and tries to use instant death on him, but Lewa narrowly manages to dodge it, making the floor take the full blast of her attack, making it fragment.*

Nokama: Should we help him?

Midna: Nah. I'd say he's got this. Besides, she said herself she's sill under the insanity affect, so I imagine her judgment it still cloudy. I mean, how can she miss all those shots?

*Elitha continues to fight on until Lewa takes advantage of her clouded judgment, tricking her into attacking by feigning vulnerability, only to make a quick move and fire his Midak Skyblaster. Elitha was barely able to block it with her shield, but the knockback force sent her flying back, crashing through one of the walls.*

Lewa: It's over, Elitha. I have the high ground.

*Antroz laughing.*

Midna: What does he want?

Antroz: Well done. You might have defeated my puppet Nokama and my beast form… but can you take on… Giant flaming head afro form?!

*Antroz appears in the same antidermis-like form he appeared in to Zant.*

Lewa: Oh, no…

Midna: What?

Elitha, getting back up: What is it now?

Lewa: If Antroz's stupid head gets bigger… we will all burn and die.

Antroz: See the irony there?

*Before Lewa could do anything, Elitha puts her hand on his shoulder.*

Elitha: No… you stay here.

Lewa: Elitha? What--?

Elitha: You know, your insistent jarring spoke to me. 

Lewa: It did?

Elitha: Yeah… You might have a point. Your destiny is to remain here. Mine… mine is to face my inner demons in the twilight hour. And I know just what to do…

Lewa: You're not thinking…?

Elitha: I have to. 

Lewa: You must still be crazy from Zant, because you're asking for trouble.

Elitha, giggles: Well, Lewa, I'm just a troubled kind of girl.

*Elitha pats his shoulder before walking past him. Before proceeding, she turns around.*

Elitha: I'm truly sorry for the trouble I caused you and your ancestor… and Zant… and everyone in Alma Nui. It's my time to set things right.

Lewa: You take care…

*Without warning, Elitha grabs Antroz's stupid head and begins to fly upwards at full speed.*

Antroz: Wait, what are you doing?! Put me down! Put me down!

*Eventually, Elitha enters the lithosphere, making sure she was far from Lewa and everyone else. As she does so, she can't help but remember Lewa's kind and endearing words to her…*

*From far away, everyone else sees what happens by the bright, glowing light in the sky. Lewa steps forward, unsure of what to feel. While Elitha was at first some confused and insane villainess who wanted to kill him, she saved him at the expense of her own life. Unfortunately, his thoughts of grief and sorrow were cut short as Elitha's burnt Kanohi mask falls to his feet and Antroz's stupid head crashes through the roof.*

Antroz: That was quite a traumatizing experience… but now I'm over it.

Midna: That's it, I've had enough of you, Antroz. Your stupid head just killed an innocent girl!

Antroz: It's no huge loss, really. I don't know what Teridax saw in her. She's almost as expendable as your toy Fused Shadows. Soon you'll all be my slaves and maybe I'll let you be my personal errand girl, Midna. 

Midna: What? What did you say?

Antroz: You heard me.

Lewa: Uh… you might want to take that back.

Antroz: What?

Lewa: Now you're going to regret that.

Antroz: What did I do?

Midna: Lewa? Nokama? Get out now. Because in a few moments, this castle and everything inside will be gone. I'm going to do some major redecorating… mostly with his big, stupid head!

Antroz: I feel like I might have done something wrong here…

Lewa: Yeah, you didn't know when to stop-shut your stupid mouth!

Midna: I said get out of here, now!

*With that, Lewa and Nokama are teleported before Lewa could try and stop her.*

Midna: So, Antroz, you don't like the Fused Shadows? Well, don't worry, because they don't like you either. And they're going to be the last thing you ever see!

Antroz: Stop, with that kind of power you're going to have us both killed!

Midna: Yes. I'm going down, you're coming with me!

*Midna takes a shadow spear and gets ready to impale Antroz with it. Antroz however, tries to fight back and engulf her as he did with Elitha.*